Penis Inspection Day

by Hardcover

Rating: mature
Tags: Gallus, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Porn, Sex, Smolder
Length: 4795

Gallus attends a routine health inspection at the School of Friendship.

Gallus discovers one morning at the School of Friendship that all the male students are being called for a compulsory, annual examination in Equestrian schools known as "Penis Inspection Day." He also discovers that it isn't a prank, apparently. And his day can really only get worse from there.

Contains: small penis & public humiliation and ballbusting. Don't worry. He kind of likes it.

Has a much nicer sequel.

Published 2020-02-12 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-12 23:10:02 UTC

Or; Gallus's Big Problem

Gallus yawned as he trotted down the halls next to his roommate, Sandbar, amid the shuffling mass of other students. He didn't mind getting out of class first thing in the morning, but he dreaded the idea of being stuck in some boring assembly all day. The School of Friendship wasn't exactly what Gallus would call exciting, and while some of the lessons were interesting, he wasn't looking forward to another four-hour lecture from Professor Twilight on the history of stamps, or an exhaustive "How-Not-to-be-Evil" seminar from vice principal Starlight. "Why are we all being forced into the auditorium so early in the morning?" he flatly asked Sandbar.

Sandbar raised his brow at Gallus. "Are you serious? You don't know?"

Gallus rolled his eyes. "If I knew, I wouldn't have asked, would I?"

Sandbar smirked. "Dude, it's Penis Inspection Day."

"Ha-ha, very funny," Gallus quipped, hardly breaking his pace.

"Uh, I'm serious," Sandbar answered. "That's what's happening."

Gallus nearly stopped in his tracks, giving an incredulous look to Sandbar. "You're messing with me."

Sandbar gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm not. They happen every year. Don't they have Penis Inspection Day in Griffonstone?"

"Of course not! Why would we do that?" Gallus recoiled.

Sandbar rubbed the back of his head. "I think it's mostly for hygiene reasons, making sure all the guys are keeping clean down there. But I think they also check for development and overall health? I don't really remember. It's just something that happens every year." He gave a shrug at Gallus. "Huh. Weird that you've never done one."

Gallus couldn't believe how convincing Sandbar was being. Sandbar usually was a terrible liar, but he was really selling this whole charade. "Whatever. I'm not falling for it. That would be so illegal! Not to mention completely ridiculous!"

Sandbar didn't know what else to say. "See for yourself, dude."

The students crowded into the crystal-blue auditorium, but at the door, Gallus and Sandbar were stopped by Professor Twilight. "Male students and faculty gather on the stage, please," she instructed them. Two lines were forming, with the boys heading toward the stage and the girls gathering in the auditorium seats.

Gallus followed Sandbar in the boys' line, but raised his eyebrow again. "Absolutely no way." Sandbar just shrugged once more. A pit was starting to form in Gallus's stomach. This couldn't be real... But the School of Friendship had never segregated activities by gender before...

The two boys were stopped in a line across the stage. Sandbar was on one side of Gallus, and Twilight's assistant Spike was one the other side of him. Whatever was happening, Gallus could tell it was serious; Chancellor Neighsay was standing on the stage, marching down the row in front of all the boys. Perhaps for the first time, though, Gallus found the Chancellor's presence comforting. After all, such a strait-laced stallion would never stand for something as crazy as Penis Inspection Day.

Once all the boys were lined up and the girls were in their seats, Twilight Sparkle spoke up. "Alright, let's settle down and get started," she said in her usual kind, slightly excited tone. "Today is the School of Friendship's first annual Penis Inspection Day!"

Gallus's pupils shrunk to pinpricks. His heart stopped. His beak hung open.

She continued. "Penis Inspection Day is a very important day, both to ensure the cleanliness and safety of our school, and also to track the development of our male student body. All of our results are reported to the EEA, which uses that data to identify any problems in hygiene or reproductive development in Equestria's population."

Gallus was starting to sweat. Penis Inspection Day was real!?

Neighsay picked up where Twilight left off, his tone much more harsh. "This is a graded assignment," he emphasized. "You will all be assessed for cleanliness, size, and overall health. Any failing marks will be very damaging to your grades, and may result in punishment or expulsion. Do I make myself clear?" he said.

Gallus's talons shot up. "Yes, Gallus?" Twilight called on him.

Gallus gulped nervously. "Do the girls have to be there for this?" he asked in a higher-pitched tone than usual.

"Absolutely!" Neighsay snapped at him. "Penis Inspection Day was started over a thousand years ago as a method to prevent the spread of disease, and ensuring that only the stallions most suitable for female pleasure would be permitted to breed. It is imperative that the young ladies of this generation be made privy to this information!"

Gallus gave him a puzzled look, but Twilight explained to the other students. "Penis Inspection Day helps the girls find out which boys would be good sexual partners and which ones are, well... 'inadequate,' shall we say?" The calm, only slightly embarrassed voice Twilight used made Gallus seriously wonder if he was having a nightmare. "So I want all of you girls to pay close attention!" she said to the females in the audience.

Gallus looked out, and amid the sea of female students, he saw his friends sitting together. Yona and Silverstream looked terribly curious and excited, Ocellus looked just as embarrassed as he was, and Smolder looked like she was about to crack up already. Out of all the creatures Gallus would even consider allowing to see his penis, his female friends were at the very bottom of the list. Just the thought of them seeing his junk was mortifying.

"Let us begin!" Chancellor Neighsay boomed, marching down the row of males like a drill instructor. "Princess Twilight will conduct the inspection, and I shall be the standard to which you are compared, both in terms of hygiene and size." As he passed by Gallus, the griffon thought he would choke. The lanky gray stallion's cock flopped from its sheath, the black length bobbing beneath his skinny belly above his tight little balls. Yet Neighsay continued to speak as if it really was a routine inspection. "As my penis is clean, disease-free, and exactly the length calculated to be average for an adult male at five-and-a-half inches, it shall be the rubric for a passing grade."

Gallus watched as Professor Twilight and Chancellor Neighsay started at one end of the line. Twilight would flare her horn, seemingly to stroke a colt and expose his dick, and then crouch down to inspect it and measure it while Neighsay recorded the results on a clipboard. All of the colts were passing, and Twilight usually had some kind comments or encouraging words for them. Gallus could hardly hear them, and soon enough they were at Sandbar, standing next to him.

Gallus watched the professor's purple aura envelop his friend's sheath, gently and invisibly stroking along his crotch and fondling his balls. The colt's face spread into an easy, pleasured grin as his cock dropped free, and Gallus froze, unable to keep from staring. Twilight continued her magical stroking, bring Sandbar to a full erection as she brought a ruler up to measure him. She spoke to Neighsay as she crouched down to look at him. "The erection looks full and healthy... Nice and clean... Aaaaaand… Seven inches," she said. Neighsay marked it down on the clipboard, and Twilight even ruffled the colt's mane. "That's pretty big, Sandbar! Congrats!"

The auditorium was filled with a loud whistle from Silverstream while Yona called down to the stage. "Good job, Sandbar! You do good at having big penis like yak!"

Sandbar just chuckled, and Neighsay humorlessly finished the inspection. "For cleanliness and large size... B-plus!" Sandbar beamed at his good grade.

Next down the line was Gallus.

Professor Twilight and Chancellor Neighsay approached him, the taller ponies staring down at him, feeling twice his height. This had to be a nightmare. There was no way Gallus was going to show his dick to his own teacher! "Professor Twilight?" he piped up, sounding more nervous than ever and sweating profusely. "Can I be excused? Please?"

Twilight frowned and shook her head. "Oh, Gallus... I'm sorry, but the Inspection's already begun, and you're already here." She leaned down to him and offered a kind smile. "It's okay to be a little nervous on your first Penis Inspection Day. I know my older brother was!"

"Eh, it's really not that big of a deal," Spike said from Gallus's other side. Gallus turned to look at the young dragon, and nearly coughed at what he saw. Spike's pink, draconic cock had already slipped free of its sheath and reached a full erection. And it was huge! He stroked it proudly with his claws and said, "Girls love Penis Inspection Day. It's your best chance to really strut your stuff! It's nothing to be nervous about," he encouraged Gallus.

Getting impatient, Neighsay moved over to Spike and began to inspect him, hovering a rule next to him with his magic. It didn't take long to do the inspection. "Very impressive, Spike!" Neighsay said, even cracking a smile. "Twelve inches is no mean feat! Perhaps that dragon blood is good for something," he remarked. "A-plus!"

"Twelve inches!?" Gallus gasped.

A lot of the girls in the auditorium buzzed, and now Smolder hollered down to him. "Woohoo Spike! You show those ponies how dragons are hung!" Spike just flashed a smile back at her and gave her a thumbs-up.

Chancellor Neighsay turned back to Gallus, replacing his look of disdain. "There is no time for nervousness, Mr. Gallus. Princess, begin in the inspection, please!"

Gallus felt ice run through his veins. Everyone was going to see his dick, and if he didn't pass the inspection, he was going to punished. Or worse, expelled and sent back to Griffonstone! He couldn't even imagine trying to explain to Grandpa Gruff - or Gilda, heaven forbid! - why he was expelled from the School of Friendship. If word got out that he was kicked out for having a failing penis, he would never live it down! But the truth of the matter was that Gallus had no idea how big he was down there. He knew how big it was in his talons, but he had never measured before, or seen another male's junk up-close to compare it to. He had never needed to before, and the thought that the size of his dick might be important was completely new to him. He was just as likely to have a monster cock as he was to have a tiny one. All he could do now is hope that it was at least average. "Average... Please be average..." he whispered to himself.

Professor Twilight offered him that kind, sympathetic smile again as she crouched down next to him. "Don't worry, Gallus. I'm sure you'll be the pride of the griffons!" she said softly. Heavens, he hoped so. If he was big, then he might have something to brag about. It looked like the girls liked a guy with a big dick too - quite a bit, if Spike's example was anything to go by! Maybe if he got a good grade, he would be more popular around the school. Maybe the griffons back home would be impressed with him! And maybe he would have a shot at losing his virginity, maybe even becoming a stud! It would all be worth it, especially if he could get the attention of-

"Eep!" he squeaked when he felt Twilight's aura suddenly cup his balls. Some of the girls in the seats giggled a bit, and Gallus's cheeks felt like they were on fire. He gulped heavily, staring straight ahead just as the other boys had while he felt that magic ever-so-gently squeeze his nuts and envelop his sheath with a soft pressure, vaguely warm and buzzing. He had never had another creature touch his private parts before, but he had to admit, Twilight's magic felt pretty good...

He let out a heavy exhale when he felt his cock emerge from his sheath against his will. Unlike ponies, his anatomy was completely different, with his pink, fleshy shaft lacking in any loose skin, as well as the bulbous knot at the base of his prick that quickly swelled as his arousal grew. Twilight's magic gently began to stroke his penis, and his shaft was filled with a huge stiffness. Gallus doubted he had ever been this hard before in his life, and his cock throbbed freely and eagerly below him. His eyes looked out over the sea of female students in the rows before him, but none of them were making eye contact with him. They were all looking a little lower. And with Twilight's magic still working his hard-on, he started to feel a familiar, tingling sensation in his balls.

Gallus whispered furiously to himself. "Don't cum! Not in front of everypony! Don't cum! Don't cum!"

Twilight smiled, slightly amused as she continued her inspection. "Nice and clean... Full erection..." Twilight muttered as usual.

Just a little longer, Gallus told himself. Just a little longer and this would all be over.

Then Twilight stopped. "...Oh dear..."

Gallus couldn't breathe. Neighsay said impatiently, "Measurements, Your Highness?"

Twilight hesitated. "Um... Three-and-a-half inches, sir..."

The room erupted into laughter. Now Gallus was certain his heart had stopped. His head snapped down to look between his legs, at his pink member standing firm and throbbing beneath him. Now that he had seen what the others looked like, it was clear he wasn't even close to Sandbar, let alone the massive Spike. He looked up at Chancellor Neighsay standing in front of him, ducking his head to take in the details of the gray stallion's cock. It certainly didn't look big, but when Gallus looked back between his own hindlegs to compare, there was no denying it... He had a tiny dick.

Neighsay scoffed as he marked the measurement down. "Well... That is far below average," he said with disgust. "I can give a D-minus to males at least four inches long, but below that is a clear F."

Twilight stood up and looked Gallus in the eyes with pain and sympathy. "I'm sorry, Gallus, but... You fail Penis Inspection Day."

"Does that mean he has to be a girl now?" Ocellus asked innocently, which only caused another burst of laughter.

Even the other males in line were laughing at him. Sandbar resisted a smirk and said, "Wow, dude... I've never seen anyone fail Penis Inspection Day!"

Spike openly chuckled, still boasting a massive lance of an erection. "Oh man! It's like a doll-sized version of my dick!"

Gallus didn't know whether he hated Spike or was just terribly, terribly jealous of him. But even more than the fierce blush of utter embarrassment on his face, panic was starting to set in. "Wait! I can't fail! I don't want to be expelled! I can't go back to Griffonstone!"

Twilight reached up with a hoof to touch Gallus's face, wearing a sad frown. "I'm sorry, Gallus. But I just can't have a male with a tiny penis at my school. I'm afraid I don't have any other choice but to expel you."

He would be the laughingstock of Griffonstone. He would be called Chick-Dick Gallus for the rest of his life. He would never get a date ever, let alone get laid! "Please, Professor Twilight!" he begged, gripping her hoof in his talons. "There has to be some other way. A spell to make my dick bigger, or some kind of extra credit!"

Twilight shook her head. "No such spell exists. Not that stallions haven't been trying since the dawn of time... But, for extra credit, hm..." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully and then turned to Neighsay. "Chancellor, what about the endurance portion of the inspection?"

Neighsay sniffed disdainfully. "That hasn't been a part of Penis Inspection Day for centuries. But technically it is still on the books... If the griffon is willing, that is. If I were him, I'd choose expulsion."

Gallus didn't care. "I'll do anything! What's the endurance portion?" he asked.

Twilight shook her head and spoke to Neighsay. "We don't have any staff to administer that portion of the inspection."

"A female student could always volunteer. It isn't a particularly technical portion of the inspection," he answered.

Smolder jumped up from her seat. "I'll do it!" Before anyone could stop her, she was already winging her way down to the stage. Gallus didn't think it was possible to feel any warmer. She landed next to him and openly ducked her head down between his hindlegs. "Wow, that really is tiny..." she muttered.

"Shut up!" he hissed at her.

"Quiet!" Neighsay snapped at the two of them. His horn flared with his green magic, and Gallus felt a strong surge of energy in the air. All at once, Neighsay picked him up and turned him around so that his rump was facing the girls in the auditorium seats. Then, Gallus felt a heavy weight on his wrists and ankles, and saw magical green chains holding his limbs down. His anxiety spiked when he felt another chain wrap around his waist, pinning his wings down and yanking his tail up sky-high, showing off his tiny stones to everyone in the audience.

Twilight stood alongside Smolder, who stood directly behind Gallus, looking at his exposed rump and fuzzy coinpurse. She began to explain this portion of the inspection. "The endurance test was originally a part of Penis Inspection Day, and was designed to test a stallion's toughness. But since it doesn't directly deal with the penis, it was removed centuries ago from the official procedure." Gallus didn't like the sound of this.

"Our grading rubric doesn't assign it any points, but it is still on the sheet," Neighsay stepped in to explain. "The inspection is very simple. Smolder, you will administer repeated kicks to the subject's testicles. We will tell you to stop when we believe he has reached the limits of his pain tolerance, or when we believe there is serious damage to the testes or scrotum. Until you receive the signal, you will not stop the inspection for any reason. Understood?"

Smolder's lips curled into a sadistic grin. "Perfectly, sir."

Gallus felt a fresh wave of panic overcome him. "Wait! No, I changed my mind! I'll take an F! I'll go back to Griffonstone! Smolder please!" he begged her. He struggled in his bindings, but Neighsay's spell was strong, and he was utterly pinned, his rump raised up, his hindlegs spread apart, and his poor little balls dangling in the open air, waiting to be kicked.

He was soundly ignored. "Proceed!" Neighsay ordered.

Smolder stepped up to the plate, and Gallus was near hysterical now. "Smolder, don't! I'm begging you, please! I'll do your homework for a month! I'll clean your room! Your scales! I'll do anything! Just don't kick my baaaaalls!" he cried out, his voice becoming a high-pitched squeal as Smolder's foot slammed into his nutsack.

The students laughed again at his squeaky cry, watching his battered testes settle back into the place in his sack after Smolder's hard kick. The dragoness put her claws on her hips and grinned. "That was kind of fun."

"You aren't the first female to express the sentiment," Neighsay replied dryly. "Continue."

Gallus was gasping for air. His bits throbbed and ached with pain, each beat of his heart sending fresh suffering through his system that made his legs weak and his stomach turn. But after several moments, he thought he could feel the pain receding. "Guh… Oh, sweet Celest-Ooofh!" he spluttered as another kick landed squarely on his stones. He could feel each orb jostle and slam against his body, crushed by Smolder's foot, a dull thud sounding throughout the auditorium with each strike. Gallus was certain the second kick was worse than the first, but he barely had time to recover from either before the third popped him right between the hindlegs. "Ohh, mommy!" he whimpered, his voice barely audible.

The kicks kept coming, one after the other, bashing his balls in like a piñata. Gallus was out of words after the third kick, only able to gasp and sputter in agony while the gathered students laughed, each kick bringing fresh peals of mockery from them. Gallus swore he would never laugh at a guy getting hit in the nuts ever again, no matter how funny it was. The pain was blinding. He felt like he would throw up. He felt like he would pass out. He felt like his balls would pop! With each second he prayed that Neighsay or Twilight would tell Smolder to stop. His balls had to be severely damaged by now, right? But they didn't, and the painful blows just kept coming.

His only reprieve was when Smolder stopped to wipe a bead of sweat off her forehead, apparently getting tired. "Phew. This is a workout," she commented. The auditorium got a good look at his set now, which looked to be swollen to double their size, his scrotum red and glowing with hot pain.

Sandbar leaned down to check on his friend. "How ya holdin' up, Gallus?" he asked.

Gallus could barely look at him, tears stinging his eyes. In a pained gasp, he answered, "Dude... My fucking balls!"

"Eh, he can take it," Spike dismissed Gallus's suffering with a wave. "His nuts are a smaller target after all. So it's not as bad as if he had a normal-sized pair."

Gallus wished he could kill Spike, but the rest of the students were still laughing and jeering at him. He could even recognize the voices of some of his friends.

"His voice gets higher when you kick the left one! Do that!" Silverstream hollered.

"It's funny to see the griffon squawk like a chicken!" Yona said through fits of laughter.

"At least his balls look normal-sized now," Ocellus added with a snicker.

Everyone was staring at his balls, and at his tiny cock dangling below... Gallus never imagined this was how today would go, that he would be getting so much attention to his little prick. That he would be getting his nuts punted in front of the whole school. That his cock would still be so fucking stiff...

No creature had ever physically touched his junk before. He thought he would be lucky to get laid in his lifetime, let alone to get a spotlight on his malehood. Let alone so much personal contact between his little balls and Smolder’s fiery body before... The more Smolder bashed his sack in, the more numb his nuts became, and the more the pain started to fade, replaced by something else. A light-headed feeling that muddled his thoughts. A familiar tightness in his dangling bits. An aching stiffness in his cock...

Gallus gulped with a whole new kind of fear as the epiphany dawned on him: this was starting to feel good.

He could hear Smolder winding up for the next kick. "Smolder, ya gotta stop, please, I think- Gahhhh!" He was cut off by that scaly little foot impacting with his bruised fruits, but he had grown used to the pain, and now only felt the tantalizing caress of a female's touch on his most sensitive place. His cry of agony sounded suspiciously like a moan.

Gallus could feel his cock throb, a little dribble of precum leaking from the tip. He tried to warn her again, "No, Smolder, don't, I really think I'm gonna- Oohhhh fuck!" He writhed in confusing agony as another blow connected with his balls, sending ripples of pressure through his groin, which soon cooled into a very real, white-hot pleasure. He felt his balls tighten and his cock clench on its own. He focused all his energy on stopping it.

Every creature was staring, laughing, he could feel the contact of their eyes on his balls just as surely as he felt Smolder's foot smashing into them, the students' unwavering gaze stroking his tiny dick with an intensity he couldn't ignore. This could not happen. The ecstasy that coursed through him was as agonizing as the humiliation was suffocating. One more kick...

Gallus begged Smolder, thrashing against his bindings as his three-incher coiled like a spring for the payoff, pure desperation in his voice, "Sweet Celestia, Smolder! I'm gonna fucking cum-!"

Smolder's foot smacked heavily into Gallus's balls. The stimulation was too much. Pleasure flooded his body, not from his dick, but from someplace entirely new. His balls clenched. His dick spasmed. His eyes crossed, his beak twisted into a grin, and his tongue lolled out of his head. He gave a loud, sputtering moan. His world went white.

Gallus came harder than he ever had before in his life.

Every creature stopped and fell silent as they watched what could only be cum - real, fresh, white cum - spew from Gallus's twitching little griffon cock. Despite his shrunken dick and tiny balls, his load splashed audibly onto the auditorium stage, shot like a firehose, and with the volume to match. He gurgled and moaned and twitched in bliss, gripped tight by the throes of what was obviously an incredible climax. And for the rest of those present, all they could do was watch in growing awkwardness, waiting for the moment to end. But Gallus just kept cumming. And cumming. And cumming.

It ended with a sizeable pool of warm, sticky semen beneath Gallus, who looked barely conscious. Smolder stared on in total shock, blushing more visibly than she ever had in public before. Twilight could only hold a hoof to her mouth.

Neighsay broke the silence with his quill on his clipboard. "An ejaculation marks the end of the inspection," he told Smolder. Then, he sneered down at Gallus. "Pathetic. Traditionally, the endurance portion is measured in dozens of kicks, rather than a hoofull." Gallus just groaned beneath him. Neighsay sighed and examined the clipboard. "But... It appears you endured just enough kicks before your untimely orgasm to earn a passing grade. Mr. Gallus, you get a D..." Stepping away from the spreading pool of semen, he added, "Minus."

Gallus, whether from pain or pleasure or humiliation, had already passed out.

"Hey buddy," Gallus could hear Sandbar's familiar voice rousing him from what felt like the dead.

With a groan, Gallus picked himself up. He was on the auditorium's stage. His head felt foggy, his limbs felt weak, and his balls felt like a strange mix of... everything. "Ugh..." he muttered as he righted himself. "Sweet Celestia..." he started to remember. Penis Inspection Day... the endurance test... But then... "What happened?" he asked Sandbar.

"Well, uhh..." Sandbar fumbled. "I'm not sure how to say this..."

Gallus looked around the auditorium. It couldn't have been too long after the Inspection; students were still filtering out, and girls were still snickering at him. "Let me guess," he said in flat tone. "I got kicked in the nuts so hard I jizzed myself?"

Sandbar nodded.

"Twilight had to use a spell to clean up after me?"

Sandbar nodded.

"I passed the test but now I'm the school laughingstock because I have the smallest dick in the whole class?"

Sandbar nodded slightly.

Gallus just gave a heavy sigh and adopted his usual sarcastic tone. "Yeah. I thought so. It would happen to me. Out of all the guys it could happen to, it would happen to me. I suppose I deserved it, somehow. Because Celestia forbid anything good happens to me in this messed-pony country." He sighed. "This is why I skip on Mondays..."

Gallus saw the rest of his group of friends, minus Smolder, approach him on the way out of the auditorium. "Oh Gallus, you passed!" Ocellus said with genuine excitement. But then she snickered. "Congratulations... Chick-Dick!"

Yona boomed with laughter. "Get it? Because your penis is like a baby's! And baby griffons are chicks!"

"I get it," Gallus answered curtly.

"And it rhymes!" Silverstream added. "Well, you'll probably want to go put some ice on those balls. Smolder did a real wallop on 'em! We're gonna go see if Spike's busy. Who would have thought that little guy had the biggest dick in the whole school! Sandbar, you can join in too if you want!"

Sandbar gave an excited whinny as he hopped down to join the girls. "Later, dude!"

"Later," Gallus answered. And suddenly, he was alone in the auditorium.

He sat in silence. He looked down between his legs. His tiny cock was still poking out of its sheath, throbbing weakly. His balls looked red and swollen.

"Iced balls it is," he muttered to himself, shuffling off to the nurse's office.

Author's Note

I know this is going to get downvoted to hell, but I promise the sequel will be more appealing.