“Why Don’t They Want Me?”
This room was a very familiar room for Gallus save for the new pine smell that Headmistress Starlight had enveloping her office. It did little to sour Gallus’ mood as he kept glaring at the floor with his arms crossed. Far as he was concerned, he did nothing wrong and his actions were justified. He knew this was a school of friendship, and every creature was supposed to get along, but sometimes you had to toss that aside when you were wronged.
And Gallus certainly felt like he had been wronged.
Headmistress Starlight had said nothing since he entered her office and sat down on the couch across from her desk. She just silently made tea for them while letting the ticking of the clock echo in their ears. Gallus didn’t know if she was waiting for him to say something or just wanted to get him to calm down.
Fat chance at either, he thought as he raised his head to glance at her finishing the drinks. He supposed it was a good thing that Starlight supervised the school now and not Princess Twilight or else he’d already be in a lecture by now. I can hear her going on about how violence is never the answer. Says the mare who turned three of Equestria’s worst villains into a stone monument for pigeons to use as a toilet.
“So, Gallus,” Starlight said, taking a few sips before offering a cup to the young griffin. Gallus shook his head before Starlight sighed and put the second cup away. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“I’m pretty sure you already know about it,” Gallus muttered, huffing. “You and the whole school by now.”
“I know what happened according to Professor Spitfire’s report. I also talked to Speed Thrower-“
“I’m surprised he can talk after what I did to him,” Gallus said, gripping his talons into a fist. There was still a speck or two of blood on them despite their cleaning.
“Well, it’s a good thing Discord, his magic aside, knows a few things about medical aid thanks to his time with Fluttershy,” Starlight replied, shaking her head. “But he’s going to be out of the school for the while both for his actions and his injuries.”
“I take it I’m going to get the same treatment?” Gallus asked, though deep down he was nervous. He had done a few pranks before, but nothing worse than detention. He knew that this was going to go on his record and maybe suspend him from the school for a few weeks or months. Had this been three years ago, he would have been begging not to return to Griffinstone. After his friends learned of his… living situation, Sandbar had all but begged his parents to give Gallus a bed after their second year for him to live somewhere during the breaks. And I still can’t thank them enough for it.
“Depends. Like I said, I want to hear from you what happened,” Starlight said, this time with a bit more firmness in her voice.
Sighing, Gallus rested his head on his arm and explained what happened.
***Four Hours Earlier***
If there was any game that Gallus loved playing the most it was dodgeball. The speed of the game, the quick reactions, and the overwhelming feeling of dominating your opponent with a rubber ball to the face. It was the best sport in the world as far as he was concerned. Flying to his left, Gallus avoided another attempt to take him out as he quickly ordered Sandbar, Olive Branch, and Highwind to take the offensive while also ordering Zima, Bella Ring, and Flameburst to gather the leftover balls. There was still a minute left on the clock and both teams still had an even score. If they could eliminate more of the opposing team before Professor Spitfire blew the whistle, it would be their win.
It hadn’t been an easy fight with the opposing captain, Speed Thrower, having the most knockouts in this game. Half the team had been taken out by the yellow earth pony alone, including Gallus himself. Thankfully, Sandbar had caught the last ball and brought him back in just as they lost two more on their team, making it an even game.
Gallus watched as his offence took charge and started throwing their dodgeballs. Sandbar yelled an apology to his special yak, Yona, who got hit again due to her size much to her frustration. He didn’t want to say it, but Gallus was glad his team didn’t have a yak. Their size made them easy targets and they weren’t the best when it came to throwing or catching. Dodgeball was just not a sport yaks were good at. Football on the other hand? Well, there was a reason Yona was always picked first for defence tackle. Speed Thrower seemed to have realized this weakness as he glared at Yona before catching a ball thrown by Olive Branch. The kirin groaned before heading to the out circle with the rest of the team while another came in.
Knowing they were running out of time, Gallus turned to Flameburst, a red and purple male dragon, before giving the signal for their special planned move. It was all down to this. Gallus took a ball and charged forward, his wings pushing him at top speed as he looked for the weakest target he could find. His predator eyes focused on a fellow griffin named Shadow, dark as the night and eyes like that of an owl, as his best target due to her heavy breathing. He raised his arm holding the dodgeball, as if to throw it at her, but dropped it at the last second before performing a twisting turn upwards for a higher distance. The ball that Flameburst threw was quickly caught by Gallus who used his momentum to spin around and unleash.
Shadow, taken completely by surprise, fell to her back as the speeding rubber ball collided with her chest. Just then, the retired Wonderbolt Captain blew her whistle and raised her hoof. “Time’s up! Winner by one point, Team Gallus!”
“Yes!” Gallus cheered with his claws in the air. He swooped down to his teammates and they quickly engaged in a celebratory hug before cheering again. The other team moaned for their defeat, but Speed Thrower was the angriest as he stomped his hooves on the ground a few times.
“Good job,” Spitfire said, landing in front of them. “Nice leadership there, Gallus. Ever think of getting into the military? I think the Wonderbolts might be for you.”
“Sorry Teach, but I can’t see myself wearing a uniform,” Gallus chuckled before turning to his team. “But it wasn’t just me. Every creature did their part.”
“Indeed, well now for both sides to shake and-“ Spitfire was interrupted when a changeling rushed in and whispered into the retired captain’s ear. Groaning, Spitfire rubbed her temple before saying, “Sorry, students, but some creature thought it would be funny to use a heat musk scent potion on the animals. I gotta help round them up. I better see this room cleaned up when I get back!”
The two teams watched their professor leave before looking at Gallus who raised his eyebrow. “What? I didn’t do that.”
“Smolder?” Sandbar asked with amusement.
“Nah, not her style,” Gallus answered as he began to pick up one of the dodgeballs. Every creature started getting to work as Yona walked over to her friends while looking glum.
“Hey, Yona. Good game, right?” Gallus asked while spinning a ball on a talon
“If by good game you mean yak good target,” Yona pouted as she kicked a nearby dodgeball. “Yona no like dodgeball game. She always get out.”
“Oh, don’t feel so bad, Yona,” Sandbar said, walking over to her and giving her a friendly nuzzle. “You may not be good at this sport, but you’re good at other sports. I mean, you did kick my team’s butt in baseball last week.”
Yona puffed out her chest. “True! Yak hit like great warriors of old! Ran around bases and stomped them flat!”
“Which you aren’t supposed to do,” Gallus whispered while rolling his eyes.
“I suppose stomping around like a retarded speaking barbarian would be all you’re good for…”
Gallus, Sandbar, and Yona’s eyes all lit up upon hearing that. Gallus didn’t know if the creature who said that was an idiot or brave as nobody insulted a yak without losing the feeling of their body for a few hours. Growling, Yona turned around and looked back and forth. “Who insults yak like that!”
Speed Thrower stepped forward, glaring at Yona who was glaring back. Sandbar quickly went to his yak girl’s side with Gallus right behind him, raising an eyebrow.
“You gotta a problem, dude?” Sandbar asked, sticking up for his lady.
“The only problem I have is that I got stuck with this tub of lard on my team!” Speed Thrower growled which made all the students stop what they were doing and watch. Yona looked like she had been slapped before air came out of her nose in rage. “All you did was get hit repeatedly! You got out like sixteen times and none of your throws even came close to hitting an opponent! And not just this game, but in every game you’re in! Why do you even play this game if you suck at it?!”
“Hey, come on, it's just a game. You’re taking this way too seriously,” Sandbar said, getting between a mad Yona and the glaring earth pony. “Why do you have to act like a jerk? Losing a game like this isn’t a big deal.”
“A big deal?!” Speed Thrower turned around and showed off his flank where his flaming dodgeball cutie mark was located. Pointing to it, Speed Thrower shouted, “Do you see this?!”
“No thanks, I’m not into guys. But you’re more than welcome to expose yourself,” Gallus joked, which got a chuckle out of some of the other students.
“Oh ha-ha, birdbrain. It’s my talent as a future world class dodgeball champion! I need to be the best if I’m going to go pro and I can’t do that when I’m stuck having to work with a loser who can’t move her fat butt to dodge a simple throw!”
“Yak show you who loser is!” Yona growled, charging forward as Sandbar yelped and jumped out of the way.
Speed Thrower must have been prepared for this as he just dodged out of the way and let Yona trip over a ball, sending her rolling across the gym. A few other creatures got out of the way before she landed face first into the wall. Yona moaned while her eyes spun around and Sandbar quickly rushed to her side to help her up. Speed Thrower just laughed at the sight. “See? What did I tell you? She can’t even-“
His speech was cut short when a dodgeball smacked him right on the back of the head. He was hit so hard that he fell face first into the floor with a few of the other students wincing at the pain while others secretly smiled. Gallus smirked as he rubbed his talons onto his chest feathers and winked at a glaring Speed Thrower. “Can’t what? Dodge? Well, I don’t think you should be talking, Mr. Future Champion.”
Speed Thrower got up and pointed at Gallus. “At least I don’t hit others from behind like a coward.”
“At least I don’t act like a sore loser,” Gallus said, walking past him towards his friends.
“At least I don’t hang out with losers!” Speed Thrower yelled.
“At least I have friends to hang out with.”
Speed Thrower fumbled in his words for a bit before a smile spread across his lips. “At least I have a family!”
There was a series of gasps as Gallus, wide-eyed, froze in place with his mind going blank. The echo of what Speed Thrower said continued to ring in his mind before the earth pony decided to open his mouth again.
“Yeah, we all know your story. Orphan, right? What’s the matter? No griffin family adopted you because you weren’t worth it?” Speed Thrower joked, but no creature was laughing. In fact, many were looking at Speed Thrower in disgust.
“Hey, shut up!” Sandbar shouted.
“Or maybe you did get adopted but you were so horrible they chucked you right back at the orphanage.”
“Speed Thrower, seriously, you’re going too far!” A pegasus pony shouted.
“Or maybe your parents just decided to abandon you like trash!”
An eagle-like cry, combined with the roar of a lion, was heard in every creatures’ ears, even in other classrooms, before being followed by howling cries of pain. Every creature rushed towards Gallus as he screeched and roared while covering his talons in blood. Everyone tried to get the mad griffin off from his friends to their fellow classmates, but his rage had increased his strength to the point where even the dragons couldn’t move him. Gallus pushed back, clawed, kicked, and even bit at anyone stopping him from his prey. By the time Professor Spitfire arrived, she was using every ounce of her strength to drag Gallus off the bleeding and crying Speed Thrower whose flesh and blood were all over Gallus.
Yet all he craved was more as he continued to struggle for his prey until a sleep spell finally knocked him out.
***Present Time***
Having finished his tale, Gallus just sat there in silence. His narrowed eyes glaring at his once red covered talons while doing his best to prevent the water in his eyes from leaking. He knew what he did was wrong. He could have really hurt or crippled Speed Thrower with the way he went at him like a berserk beast. Yet, Gallus felt no shame or regret. Save for the fact he didn’t do more damage to the bastard.
“Gallus, what you did was wrong. I can understand why you did it, but it was still wrong,” Starlight said, sighing. “With the damage you’ve done, Speed is lucky that he’ll be able to continue school… but I think he’ll most likely want to leave after today.”
“Good, he can take his sorry butt out of here and never come back,” Gallus commented. “I don’t regret doing what I did for my friends.”
“You know very well that you didn’t do it for your friends, Gallus,” Starlight said, shaking her head. “You did it because he made fun of you being an orphan.”
He tried to hide his wince at that… word, but the twitch of his eyes showed his real feelings. He hated it. He hated that word. With it came hurt, pain, anger, weakness, and shame. A word he had to live with his entire life because he was an unlucky soul without a family in a city that didn’t give a rat’s behind about any creature but themselves.
Sipping more of her tea, Starlight then asked, “Gallus, how long have you been a student here at the Academy?”
“Four years.”
“In all those four years, I’ve seen you grow into a good griffin. A good friend. I’ve come to see you and all the students as my own family over the years. I’ve always opened my door for you all to come talk to me, but sometimes it’s necessary for me to come talk to you about things. Even the things you don’t want to talk about,” Starlight said, getting up and walking over to Gallus. “I’ve pushed off this talk for awhile now because I wanted you to come to me about it… but I think we need to address it.”
He felt a sinking feeling in the back of his chest. “W-what?”
“You’re parents. Or lack of them and how you feel.”
Gallus didn’t answer. He just sat there, his talons shaking as he closed his eyes trying to keep it in. He didn’t want to talk about it. He preferred if it would just remain a subject not talked about. His friends had always respected that one thing about him. That one fact that he grew up without a family and still didn’t have one to this day. It was the one thing they never talked about.
Now he was being told he had to talk about it.
“There is nothing to talk about…” Gallus growled.
“Gallus, I understand-“
“No, you don’t!” Gallus shouted, glaring at Starlight as he stood up. “You don’t know the first thing about it! You had parents growing up! You had a family that loved you!” He put his claws to his head and scratched it a bit before turning around and glaring outside the window. “It’s not just something you can talk about or give a lesson on! It’s… it’s your whole life you’re talking about! The very thing you don’t want to define you, but it does!”
“Gallus, there is more than-“
“Oh please,” Gallus snide as he walked across the room, pacing back and forth. “I know what they say about me behind my back as I walk through the halls. Oh, look! That’s Gallus! He helped save the world! He helped become the first griffin student of the school! Did you also know he doesn’t have a mom or a dad?” He took a few breaths before shaking his head. “I don’t get why people care or see it as a big deal! Hell, back in Griffinstone no creature cared! Not one soul looked at me and felt any sympathy or care for me because I was some abandoned nobird!”
Without even knowing it, Gallus smashed his fist against a cupboard, but Starlight made no comment about it. Flaring his nostrils, Gallus walked up to her and glared. “You know what I saw living on the streets when I wasn’t in that crummy orphanage?! I saw homeless griffins fighting each other for scraps of food or taking dumps on the streets! I saw drugs being pushed just for a cheap high to forget about the sad lives they all had! I saw my first prostitute when I was twelve years old! What a way to learn sex education huh?! At least it was better than the orphanage where you got cheap cold meals, bug infested beds most of the days, bullies who pushed you around, and a caretaker who beats you with a cane if you dare interrupt them with something like needing to use the toilet or medicine for a cold!”
“Gallus…” Starlight whispered in shock.
“You know what the worst of it all is?!” Gallus laughed harshly. “I don’t even know why I am an orphan! Are my parent’s dead?! Are they alive searching for me?! Do they even know I exist?! Is Gallus even my name?! I had to pick my own name! My own name! Sandbar, Smolder, Silverstream, Yona, and Ocellus got to feel the warm touch of their mothers as they got named! They had their fathers read them stories, teach them to play games, and give them presents on their birthday! Whenever they got sick they were sheltered and fed. They all got love! WHAT DID I GET?! NOTHING!”
It was getting harder to see now. His eyes were watering, but he didn’t care. He just kept yelling and he was sure he was loud enough so that everyone outside the room could hear him.
“Well, guess what?! If I’m getting nothing from them then screw them! I don’t need them! They didn’t want me so they can go get bucked! I’ll be rich! Famous! I’ll be the greatest griffin in the world so that when they see or hear me they’ll regret ever giving me up! And I’ll find love! I’ll find a mate who I love with all my heart and we’ll have children! Dozens! A hundred! I’ll love them better than my own family ever did because I at least got to learn what it was like here! I got more love from others outside of my own kind then my own kind! Buck Griffinstone! Buck every griffin there! I hope they all drown in a damn flood like the miserable creatures they are! I wish I was never even a griffin in the first place because of how incapable of loving others we are! Because we lost some stupid idol?! If a golden cup was all that kept us from hating each other like monsters then I guess that speaks a lot about griffins, huh?! Buck them!” Gallus shouted, as he roared before picking up the tea set on Starlight’s table and tossing it across the room.
“I’m never going back! Never! I’ll die before I do! I’d rather be dead! And I’ll never forgive those sons of bitches who never came back for me!” Exhaustion began to overcome Gallus as he fell to his knees gasping for breath. Starlight just stood there watching him as he looked up at her. “Who never loved me. And why should I… why should… why…”
He took a few more deep breaths. Sweat pouring down his body while mixing with the tears on his face as he felt a sob come out. Then another. Then before he knew it was bawling. Like some baby with a burn, his tears and cheeks were covered in water as he looked up at the teary-eyed headmistress and asked one simple question. A question that he had asked for years.
“Why don’t… Why don’t t-they want m-me?”
Closing his eyes, he just sat there unable to care anymore as Starlight quickly rushed to him and hugged him tight. He wrapped his arms around her and cried on her shoulder as she rubbed his back and nuzzled him. Gallus didn’t care how this looked or how he felt anymore. He just wanted to sit there, hugged and warmed as Starlight comforted him.
Because this was the closest thing he was ever going to get compared to a parent’s love.
Author's Note
This is how I always pictured Gallus would act if he was forced to openly talk about his feelings of being an orphan. Him being an orphan has made him one of the most interesting characters in the show.
