In Which Dr. Caballeron Roleplays as Himself
Marigold Martingale drooped herself over the sofa's arm and let out a long sigh.
It was Hearts and Hooves Day today, which meant she had spent it watching her friends blushing and stammering and squealing in delight while lamenting over how she was excluded from it all. It was a tradition she had no choice but to live with; at times she hated the fact that nopony—no one—ever see her as anything other than 'A.K. Yearling's daughter'.
Other than 'Groom Q.Q. Martingale's daughter', of course.
She closed her eyes. Positive thoughts, she told herself, then found herself smiling a little as she reenacted a particularly cheesy scene from her romance novel.
Which didn't last long, of course, as she was thrown cruelly back by Life into reality when she opened her eyes. Books were all around her in neat rows upon the shelves on the walls, the titles ranging from 'Zebrica: An Abridged History' to those written in languages she didn't even know existed. In the middle of the study was an oaken table littered with stacks of papers, most of which had huge X's over entire paragraphs and extensive notes detailing her father's disappointment with paraphrasing that made them sound like coming out of a drill sergeant's tongue.
The door to the study opened, with it a yellow head poking in. "Mary, are you here?"
"I hope not."
Yearling sighed. "Mary, what's wrong? You haven't left that couch since you came back from school."
"Because it's a sofa, not a couch." Marigold rolled over to look at her mother, clad in her usual cloak and glasses. "I'm deprived of romantic love in Hearts and Hooves Day. Suppose you can fix that?"
Yearling raised an eyebrow. "You want me to find you a colt?"
"Or my fidget spinner. That'll work."
Yearling trotted across the room and sat on the opposite end of the couch. "Considering your father's opinion about it, a boyfriend would be much easier to find."
Marigold shot a hoof upward and let out a mock cheer.
Yearling chuckled. "Let's see, unicorn, pegasi, or earth?"
"How about a kirin?"
Yearling hummed. "Alright, a kirin, then—"
"Wait, no!" Marigold flailed her hooves. "An Umbrum! That'll be so much cooler!"
Yearling put a hoof on her head and leaned back. "A generic young adult teen romance drama! How dreadful!"
Marigold chuckled. "Yeah! Like, it'll have a climax with a battle between King Sombra and Equestria! And-oh, oh! Daring Do would swoop in the last minute and snatch me away with the Umbrum and help us escape as immigrants to Zebrica to live happily ever after!"
Yearling blinked. "That's... quite a detailed plot you have there. Have you been thinking about that all day?"
"I cannot confirm nor deny."
"Well, in that case," Yearling shook her head. "Daring Do wouldn't be helping anyone with their romance, not outside fanfictions."
Marigold chuckled and put her head on her mother's shoulder. For a second, Yearling tensed at the unusual gesture before relaxing and draping a wing over her daughter.
A minute lasted before Marigold spoke, "Hey, mom?"
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can you get me back my fidget spinner?"
Yearling frowned. "You've been playing it nonstop for weeks. It's a miracle your father hasn't burned it yet."
"It's just a spinner!" She grunted. "There's no harm to it! I can study with it without any problem! It's not like it's a Rubik's cube."
"No," Yearling said, "it's actually more like an artifact that Dr. Caballeron stole from Daring Do; he keeps it to himself for no other reason than annoy me. Or, in this case, us."
Marigold swept her hooves from side to side while saying, "Daring Do and the Fidget Spinner. In short: Dr. Caballeron steals Daring Do's fidget spinner and she tries to get it back through solving Rubik's cubes and Twister floors."
Yearling chuckled and, before long, the two shared a hearty laugh.
Yearling put a hoof on her chin as her laughter subsided. Then her eyebrows shot up and she smirked.
Marigold raised an eyebrow. "Uh, mom?"
Yearling got up and trotted toward the door. "Wait here, Mary."
The door closed before she could ask what she was doing, and Mary resorted to laying back on the sofa.
After a few minutes, the door flew open, revealing her mother—
"Mom, what are you wearing?"
Daring Do grinned. "Come on, kid. Let's get your spinner back!"
Mary raised an eyebrow while trying to suppress a giggle. "What? You do roleplay?"
Daring Do trotted across the room and picked Marigold up with an 'Eep!' and a flutter of wings. "No time to waste! Caballeron is almost ready to drop The Spinner to the volcano and doom Equestria with an eternity of boredom!"
Mary giggled as she galloped by Daring's side. "How does that even work?"
"Plot convenience! Less asking, more running!"
Groom Q.Q. Martingale sat back on his chair as he stared over the balcony, accompanied by a mug of coffee, a confiscated spinner, and a stack of papers he didn't want to think about. There would be a lot of talking and arguing and angry noises in the upcoming days for a single sheet among those papers, but that was Future Groom's problem. Present Groom's problem was the sudden lack of breeze. It had been a full ten seconds of no winds blowing, which made him rather annoyed at the anticipation for more comfort.
Groom blinked, and before the process of his eyelids opening again finished, he felt a sudden gust of wind across his face. It was a familiar one that he had experienced so many times that any doubt about what it could be was crushed under decades of failed tomb raiding. In reflex, he snapped his neck to right and left, up and down, scanning all around him for a speck of dulled yellow-and-green. Not finding it, his reflex sent him to a full scan-mode: remember what had been and seek for what was no more. There was the balcony; his chair; his barret hat was still on his head; his mug was still on the table with its lack of coffee; the stack of papers was untouched and he could see the perfect alignment of each corner of the papers, indicating that none of the papers underneath it had been stolen by a rather brash pegasus.
The fidget spinner, however, was gone.
Groom trotted over the balcony and peered down, discovering, to his dismay, a familiar yellow pegasus clad in adventuring gear chuckling with a smaller yellow pegasus. Daring Do looked up and waved the fidget spinner around.
Dr. Caballeron, while unable to hold back a grin, scowled a convincing scowl at his nemesis. "Daring Do!"
Daring Do and Marigold laughed and galloped into the house.
Dr. Caballeron smirked. It was his base; they fell right into his trap!
"Be careful now, don't be cocky. Our fight isn't done yet."
Mary giggled. "Did you do this all the time without me knowing?"
Yearling smirked. "Before you were born, this was our lives."
Daring Do and Marigold, as soon as they entered the temple, found themselves in what looked like Caballeron's expeditionary camp. There was a rectangular table in the middle with a plastic flower on it and a few chairs and sofas circling it. It made for a good living room.
"Where are we going after this, then?"
Daring raised her voice, echoing through the corridors of the temple and possibly to Caballeron's ears. "Your boat (bedroom), obviously."
Marigold nodded. "Alright, Daring." She eyed the two other doors that could both lead to her boat. "Which route should we take?"
Daring considered her options: she could go straight through the Dining Chamber to Marigold's boat on the other side of the temple, but then it would directly cross with Dr. Caballeron's path toward them. She could also take the longer route through The Chamber of the Kitchen Nightmare, but that risked Caballeron having more time to pursue them.
She heard a galloping of hooves from the ancient stairway, reminding her that time is of the essence. She pointed to the door to the right. "Through the Chamber of the Kitchen Nightmare, quick!"
Marigold nodded and followed close behind as they entered the chamber. To Marigold's eyes, it looked like a torture chamber: the walls were lined with ancient knives and pitchforks, the blades dulled by age but glinted all the same by the torch she was suddenly carrying. In the middle was the torture table, decorated with an embroidered tablecloth and a small vase containing a plastic rose. There was a fire stove on the far side that looked like a sacrificial altar, accompanied on the perpendicular wall by a water basin filled with stale dishes that was definitely not her round to wash.
It would seem that Daring and Marigold spent too much time describing the chamber with their not-imaginations, for from the only other exit in the room, Dr. Caballeron came out with a snarl on his face. "You won't get away with this, Daring Do! And..." Groom paused. "Did you pick a name for yourself?"
Marigold glanced at the rose on the table and nodded. "Rose Gambit!"
Dr. Caballeron smirked. "Ah, Rose! It's been quite a long time since we last met."
Rose spat. "Not long enough, it seemed."
As Dr. Caballeron took a step to his right to circle the torture table, the two took a step to circle away from him and to the door that he backed. He noticed this and grinned wider. "It would seem that we are at an impasse, my friends."
Daring scowled. "Not if I have anything to say about it!"
"And what is it that you have to say?" Dr. Caballeron frowned. "Rose, I would think you have better conscience than to follow this thief around."
Rose mirrored Daring's scowl. "At least she didn't do it for the sake of money!"
"Well, of course, she didn't. That's the whole point." Dr. Caballeron opened his hoof and gestured for the spinner in Rose's wing grip. "Fifty million bits, Rose." His grin turned into a seductive smirk when he saw her falter. "I was paid fifty million bits to—"
"Wait, wait, wait," Marigold shook her head. "Someone would actually pay fifty million bits for a dusty ornament!?"
Groom scratched his chin. "Well, I mean, the guys at the black market would. Don't ask me why; they just do."
Marigold blinked. "Alright, how about this: How do you know about it?"
Yearling coughed. "He was affiliated with Dr. Caballeron once, remember?"
"Oh."
"Right." Caballeron shook his head, regaining his smirk. "So, what do you say, Rose? We can divide it equally if you give The Spinner to me."
"Don't listen to him," Daring grumbled. "You know how he is!"
Rose took a few quick steps from Daring and gave Caballeron a sidelong glance. "How can I trust you, Caballeron?"
"You know where to find me," Caballeron offered. "That seems like a good enough insurance, no?"
Rose took another step toward Caballeron. "And if you run away?"
Caballeron stepped toward Rose and hummed mockingly. "Considering the result of destroying the artifact, you would have known where I'd be running to."
Rose nodded and took another step closer. "Alright. Do I have your word?"
Caballeron crossed his heart and grinned.
Rose extended her hoof with the spinner and, just as Caballeron was about to take it, flicked her hoof and threw it across the room.
Daring Do snatch it mid-air and flew off to the next chamber, meanwhile kicking a chair toward Caballeron that forced him to duck, giving Rose a chance to jump over him as well and ran off to the Dining Chamber.
Dr. Caballeron screamed a few censored curses to the two and gave a chase, circling the dining table a few times before the two managed to set off to the staircase.
Rose squealed as she ran up the stairs, barely avoiding the falling rocks which trap they totally had set off before and not at all thought of after they reached the second floor.
Caballeron fared worse without wings, but he managed to jump up the falling platforms and caught Rose by the tail. He let out a victorious laugh and pulled her down. "Your luck won't save you now, Rose Gambit!"
Rose squealed and giggled in horror. "No! Please, have mercy!"
Caballeron took a deep breath and savored in the fear in Rose's eyes before letting it all out on her belly, eliciting a raspberry of torment and giggle of agony as Rose Gambit died off-screen while Daring Do unrolled the sails of her boat, oblivious to the comrade she expected to fly out at the last possible moment.
Author's Note
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!
