Chris And Victors Adventure In Equestria

by Quite Quaint

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 2414

Twilight Sparkles been talking to me when I'm in the shower... which sounded better in my head.

It's weird, meeting somepony for the first time in the shower. Even weirder that I get to know her better because of my daily routine. But what happens if said pony could not only make a window, but a potential door? And then SH*T GETS REAL

Okay, i'm a real slow typer, and i'm easily bored, but i'm being forced to see this to the end by Chris, that said chapters may be updated up to almost a month apart, and for that i apologize, I also have no pre-reader or whatever the rut their called so EXPECT GRAMMAR MISTAKES. Also for faster updates i will gladly TRY to take well thought out ideas about what should happen. ENJOY

ON A FINAL NOTE WILL ADD CHARACTERS AND TAGS AS THE STORY (Hopefully..) PROGRESSES!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-28 03:08:21 UTC

FUUUUUUUUU- 1

Authors note: This will confuse the FUCK OUT OF YOU!

"God damnit Victor! Stop trying to blow up my house with TNT!" My cousin yelled at me, staring devilishly at me for my atrocious deed of scattering TNT all over her Minecraft manor.

"lolz, I wasn't going to detonate it!" I laugh, taking no threat from her glare. She rolls her eyes at me and sighs Sitting back in her chair.

"Still, you don't want me putting TNT all up in your house, do you?" We were sitting around a round glass coffe table, PC's connected to eachother with a LAN cable. She was sitting directly infront of me so we can communicate, I'm wearing CLOTHES. [INSERT IMAGINATION HERE]

"Go ahead, we can use cheats soooo- HA!" She laughed and shook her head, it was a quiet day, cloudy (My Favorite). The sun was near mid day, though the rays barely escaped through the fluffy gray-whitish clouds giving the world outside a slight cool gray tint and a gentle breeze raced along the trees producing the sound of- um... trees. Though something was very off... My cousin WASN'T in the kitchen! WAIT... Sorry sexist joke, THE BIRDS! The birds weren't chirping, If I even spelt that correctly. ANYWAYS it was eerily still in the house hold, there was no sound from anywhere, not even Minecraft was sounding it's usual sound of soundy blockness, The silence was deafening in our ears, the ears that we very do much have. (Questions?)

When, out of the blue BORNE! From the area around us was TWILIGHT'S Kitchen! Finally, Ary was back in the kitchen, WOULD have been in the kitchen if she was here, but the fates left her behind THE END!

NOT REALLY! Nay this is but the Beginning! The beginning of the fall of literacy! BACK ON TOPIC I fell! On my bum, only a foot, but it still really hurt. My eyes dashed to the left, then to the right, then left, then at Twilight Sparkle, My eyes fixated on her, coming down the stairs to see what all the NOISE was. Her face was, stricken with astonishment of me sitting before her. I raised my hand and waved.

"Hi." I was the first of the us to speak. I stood up all with proper grace and took a gentle bow. Twilight Sparkle Eyes lit up and she cheered like a little FILLY!

"I Did it! A real human just like in the myths and legends! Oh my gosh I can't wait to find out more about you!" She cried out in excitement to me. Excitement i too spout out, GEEK JUICE! I Geeked! I Geeked everywhere it was FANTASTIC, but i played it cool, I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A RAGING BONER! If, that boner was Bronyism.

"Yay! I'm a legend? Cool! LE DO IT! Take me to wherever it is you would like to take me for WHATEVER." I Said, Knowing, that i have read plenty of clopfics to know what happens next.

CLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOP The sound echo's as the world around turns from me and withers away into an extensive Blackness that is my room.

Nah JK I just woke up.

My alarm sounds away on my I-Pod, 6:00 the usual time, I blink the vision back into my eyes and sighed as I lay.

"Haha da fuk?"

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I gather enough strength to push the play button on my (Currently attached to I-Pod dock) I-pod and let the musical symphony of Phoenix COMMENCE!

Youtube Video

I lifted myself lazily off the bed and got to my feet, I approached my work desk and took my clothes that i left on it the night before. I walked down the dimly lit hallway, felling the cool hardwood flooring underneath my bare feet, and opened the door to the bathroom and was Assaulted by the light of the rising sun through the window. I flinched and covered my face with one hand letting out a "Aah".

After my eyes adjusted I placed my clothes on the closed top of the toilet, Immediately removing my clothes and turning on the shower BEFORE stepping in. HEY MAN that water cold! And so is the floor at around 6:00 AM! After feeling the water and judging that it was warm enough I hopped in... Literally. No really today i felt adventurous and i hopped in the shower..

I fell and took a good look at the craftsmanship of the floor tiles. But this fall did not faze me.

Yeah it did... because I could swear i'm hearing Twilight Sparkle talking about something. Something about a mirror or glass to another realm or some scientifically impossible dump along the lines as such. But now i was curious, so i lifted myself from once below, praised the anger and brought it on home WAIT! Sorry that's Pendulum.

Anyways! I stood up and what did i saw? Twilight Sparkle in the reflection of the shower door.

"Gaaaah!"

"Waah! Um! Sorry am I-"

"Yes i'm naked! my junk is like, hanging out for all to see!" I exaggerate with my hands.

"Oops sorry! should i just wait till your done or-" She turned the most delightful shade of red a turned her back to give me privacy.

"Wait! Your not of my species... Oh yeah your a pony! Sorry! Six O'clock my brains a little weird, and even if it wasn't." My voice enters a seductively seductive voice of seduction. "I wouldn't mind." I can see her turn redder as she looks at me with the corner of her eye and gulps.

"Just keep the conversation at eye level." I ad, using my usual tone of voice. Twilight Sparkle turns around and gulps again.

"O-okay... So ah... Getting ready for something or..."

"School." I squirt body wash onto my scrub brush and begin scrubbing my chest, working the gel into a lather then continuing on to my arms, neck and face. Then to the lower regions if yeah know what i mean Uh-Uh.

"Oh-Wait... School?" She lifts an eyebrow.

"Eeyup." I imitate that stallion we all know and love but in case you don't know who, Big mac.

"Oh, so are you a colt or-"

"Yes! I'm only 6 years old!" I say in a mock kid voice.

"Wow you're tall! Are all of your species so tall or-" I interrupt her with laughter.

"Haha, no i was playing! I'm actually 17. Our society just takes education very seriously." Twilight turns red again at the thought that she actually believed me as I rinse the suds off my body.

"Oh... Oh you're about the same age as me! just a year older!" She brightens back up. So here we have it. It is unofficially official that Twilight Sparkle is 16.

"Woo! Cool. So ah, why me?" I ask preparing to wash my hair.

OLD SPICE BODY WASH IS FANTASTIC... NOT FOR HAIR BUT FOR MAH BODY!

"Uh? Oh no reason, it's kinda random who i get judging, so you must be pretty lucky." She says looking off to the side.

"Okay, I was thinking you wanted to see me naked or some thing, 'bout to say we gotta have lunch first." I joke but still keeping a serious tone. Not SUPER SERIOUS LIKE "THIS IS SO SERIOUS!" But like when you usually tell someone something. Twilight once again turns that favorable red.

"Hey Twilight- Bwaaa! Is that thing in the shower!" Spike bursts into Twilight's bedroom, she gets startled and turns around nervously as her voice raises a pitch.

"Aaah! Spike! Um ah well you see!" She turns her neck to see me with the corner of her eye. "I'll call you back!" And with that the portal closes with a 'POP' and all i can see is the other side of the bathroom. I stood there in silence when i realized that the birds stopped chirping again.

"She'll call me back?"

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I carried on through the day, telling no one of the incident, besides the fact that i slipped in the shower (Which I have a nice bruise on my head!) no one knew what i heard and saw. Everything was fine except that I swear I've seen Twilight in the reflections of glass for split seconds, and once I realized to look, nothing.

The birds stopped chirping as I made my way to six period, upon walking into the small adequately lit room i felt a wave of power, it was like lying down in a bobbing ocean, but then the feeling sank to the depths of my being and borne was a pain, a dull pain. Imagine, when you dive into a pool, and really need to breath so you swim up and your chest tries to spasm for air? that is how I would describe the feeling.

The pain grew in volume and strength as I gripped my chest and fell to my knees. I tried yelling for help but it was to no avail, the pain was to much for me to bear. I thought that was it, I thought my american diet finally caught up to me and that i was dying. I took a deep breath in and realized, my chest doesn't hurt anymore.

I stood up and looked around the room, twisting my neck left and right, the room was almost full but there was movement what so ever. I took a closer look and noticed that every physical object  had a grey stone look to it. I walked up to a girl and knocked on her head, she wasn't stone, in fact she felt like any other person, every thing just looked grey.

A thought ran across my mind and I smiled devilishly as I groped the girl. At first one hand, no response. Then with two, no response. Finally I dug into her shirt and began groping again, i could feel my pants getting tighter.

"Oh the things I'm going to do."

"Ah, hello?" Twilight Sparkle calls out from behind me, I froze in fear and slowly turned around to see that everything was the same, only, the T.V was on and all there was was static on the screen.

"Hhmmm, maybe you're doing it wrong?" Spike calls out in the direction of the T.V, I approached the screen very slowly as i called back.

"Hello?" The birds started chirping as Twilight answered back.

"Told you Spike! Hello again, told you I would call you back. Tell me did my spell work?" Her disembodied voice emitted from the screen.

"Umm, I can't see you if that's what you're asking." I tap the screen with my index finger.

"Oh! No i already knew that, don't worry about that this spell usually works on any reflective surface."

"Oh, cool beans." I sit back on top of the nearest desk to the T.V

"But, it's not working as good as i expected."

"Yeah and it works while he's naked." Spike calls out sarcastically

"S-Spike!" I bust out laughing. holding my face with my hand.

"I'm kidding Twilight!"

"Hmph, anyways, I mean the animation suspender spell, from what i can hear it seems to be working." I look around the room and quickly gaze back at the T.V.

"You mean the stasis? Yeah it's working... Working QUITE well."

"What was that?"

"N-NOTHING, it's working!" I blurt out as I throw my arms out in front of me.

"O-okay... Well, I called you back to ask you for a favor."

Sex with Twilight Sparkle?

"S-sure what is it." I ask anxiously, twiddling my fingers.

"Well, it's kinda of a personal thing to ask..."

OH MY GOD, IT'S PERSONAL! CLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOP

"Y-yeah?" My pitch raised as I bit my lip. I could hear Twilight hesitate.

"Will it be okay"

OH GOD YES

"If you can"

RUT YOU? OKAY!

"Accept an invitation to my world." I was VIOLENTLY THRASHED OUT out of my fantasies to such a simple request.

...

...

"What."

"You know, get to know another species! I already got permission from Princess Celestia, has long as you weren't dangerous, but you seem nice. So is that a yes?" I could practically hear the *Squee* from here...

"I-I don't know... I mean is that it? Just poof! "Welcome to Equestria!"?"

Typical H.I.E In Bound!

"No, it'll take a transformation spell first-"

"Wait wait wait! You never said anything about a transformation spell! What am i going to transform into!?"

"Sorry i forgot to mention! The princess said you're only allowed here if you volunteer to become a pony." My eyes widened as i drooled a river of digestive enzymes... Saliva people! I Bronyied EVERYWHERE! I mean c'mon man! A pony FUCK. YES.

WHOVIAN IS A WORD IN THE DICTIONARY NOW!

"Sure. On one condition." God damn that promise I made...

"What is it?" Twilight asked nervously. The Birds stopped chirping.

"Only If  my friend Chris can come too." I Stood there, in the intense silence of the room. No sound came from either side of the portal, it was comparable to the silence in my dream... Except i know for a fact i have ears! I gulped and breathed in heavily through my nose when Twilight finally spoke up.

"Well, I'm not to sure but if he's anything like you... Sure." She says cautiously, my eyes lit up and i started hop skip and jumping around.

"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! COOL BEANS!" I attempted shuffling but i stuck with the running man. "Wait, how are we supposed to bring him with me?"

"Hmm, that could be a problem." We pondered for a bit when a genius idea struck me, any reflective surface.

"Hey Twi- I mean miss, if i got a mirror would i be able to carry you around?" I catch myself.

"That might just work! Can you find one?" Good she didn't catch it... and about that mirror...

"So the vanity of girls do come in handy sometime!" I reached into the purse of the girl who i was groping earlier and scrambled my hand around looking for a mirror, after a few seconds I pull out a nice pocket sized one! "Gotcha! Alrighty then how's this gonna work?"

"let's see if I could focus my magic on the nearest reflective object to you..." The mirror began to glow purple but then explodes (NOT LITERALLY) Into a white light.

WYATT D. TRACY IS A SEXY MAN BEASTIE!

"Got it! Now then, let's see this friend of yours."