Daftypone's Porntastic Party

by Hissara

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1000

The defininition of beauty put into the written word.

There are days when one ponders the true definition of trollfic. Is it a message or is it just antagonism? Art or Vandalism? Such questions are unanswered in this fanfiction. They could be if you want them to, that's the glory of literature and interpretation. It is such brilliant thoughts that gave me the courage to write my most sexist and racist work known to date. I hope you can see the beauty of it.

That, and Daftles told me to "Write a fan fic about my OC seducing every mare in Equestria with his penis that is fused with the speed force and I shall give you pocket lint."

The following is also an extension of the original story to be able to be submitted onto FiMFiction. Think of it like a Director's Cut!

Daftypone was made by Daftles. You can find his work here. http://daftykins.tumblr.com/

The Cover Picture was made by FacelessJr. You can find his work here. http://facelessjr.deviantart.com/

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-20 15:04:01 UTC

The FiMFiction Cut

"Hello! My name is Hiss-chan and this is my sexist, racist, and horsefuckery fanfic and nothing less!"

He was Aphrodite incarnate, except not a woman. Daftypone was enjoying the day beforehand, so long as any dirty wetback don't ruin it for him. The wind blew in his short blue hair as he walked into Ponyville, knowing that he had a very busy day ahead of him.

As he walked in his usual "fuck to the yeah" manner, he met Fluttershy on the road.

"Good day sexy piece of ass." Dafty said.

"Oh hai Dafty." Said Fluttershy, because that is how she talks. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Well, it's like what I always say." Dafty replied. "A woman's only good for cooking and cunts."

Fluttershy laughed at his amazing form of comedy that was amazing. It was so hilarious that she wanted to fuck him.

And then they fucked.

After that glorious session of the sex, Dafty went on his way to the library to return the sexiest book of all time: 50 Shades of Breaking Percy Jackson and the Hunger Games.

"Good evening Twilight," Dafty greeted.

"Silly Daftypone!" Twilight giggled. "It's not night yet."

"It's can be!" He exclaimed.

"What are you implying?"

"I think you can infer from my imply if you can tell what I am implying.

And then they fucked.

After returning his very sticky book, Daftypone was very hungry after this exhausting session. Luckily an apple stand was nearby.

"Howdy Dafty!" Said Applejack, thankful that Dafty wasn't a Zebra. "Care to buy an apple?"

"By an apple do you mean YOUR ASS?"

"Well, I was just selling apples, but OK!"

And then they fucked... in front of everyone.

Remembering that he needed to buy a giant hat, Daftypone went to that place Rarity sells things.

"Good day Dafty dear! Your giant hat is on the shelf and I am here to be fucked as is Pinkie Pie."

"Hi!"

"You read my mind!"

And then they fucked.

After purchasing his top top hat, (Which is like a top hat except topperer) he met with Rainbow Dash.

"S'up Daf-"

And then they fucked.

Taking a break from the true gloriousness of fucking that if one didn't do, there life would never be complete. (That is why asexuality does not exist.). He met with Lyra and Bon-Bon.

"Hello, you two dykes!' Daftypone said, finding every sexuality apart from his own disgusting.

"Good day!" said Lyra.

"You know what you two need?" Daftypone asked after his rest.

"What is that?" Asked Bon-Bon

"A dick!" Daftypone claimed triumphantly.

"We couldn't agree more!" They both said.

And then they fucked

After converting two lesbians to the right side of life, he met with the Mayor.

"Good day, Daftypone! You just won a key to the city!"

"Sweet! This is totally the best day ever!"

"If there's anything you need, just say.'

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Oh? What is that."

"COITUS!"

"No, not really."

"Oh..."

"But that doesn't really mean we can't."

"Sweet! I can be with a MILF now! A mayor I'd like to fuck!"

And then they fucked as a veterinarian saluted the patriotic act.

After his fuckmoment, he met Zecora on the road home.

"Good afternoon pony of blue, might I ask how do you do?"

A long silence fell between the two.

"Well." Dafty began. "Nigger pussy is still pussy!"

And they fucked in rhyme.

After walking in swag (Because that's what happens when you a fuck a Zebra.) he came across the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Hello, Daftyon-"

"ARE YOU MAD?!" Daftypone screamed. "I can't fuck kids! Fucking kids is like, totally gay and stuff! Besides, if you are going to get fucked, you must get fucked by someone your own age! Because abstinence doesn't exist! And such huge age differences are totally icky!" and left in a huff.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had no idea what just happened.

During his frustrated walk. He melt with a very polite walrus. And then they fucked.

You might ask yourself, fellow reader, why would a pony fuck a walrus. Well, you shouldn't worry about that friend. For you see, the walrus wasn't actually a walrus. She was actually a pony named walrus. She was interesting because her name was in all lowercase and was totally deep, tasting the colors of life and shit.

After his encounter with the totally hawt walrus, he met with Vinyl Scratch. aka. DJ-P0N3, aka. 0BLG@t0RyT3CNoN@M3.

"Wubbity Wubbity Wub Wub Wub!' Said the Dubstep Horse.

"What's that, Vinyl?" Daftypone asked.

"Wubby Wub. Wub, Wub Wub Wub Wubby Wub, Wub, Wub!"

"Timmy fell down the well?"

"Wub! Wubby Wub!"

"And the only way I can save him is by fucking you?!"

"Wub!"

"Then let us save him with our genitals in a rhythmic motion!'

And then they fucked. For great justice.

Daftypone realized that he still needed to fuck more. His speed force genitals needed much more before he could be satisfied. He only did what he could.

The Ultimate Horseorgy.

He called all the ponies he could with his mind powers of sexiness and thus began the orgy of the century.

All the mares were having relations with Daftypone, the mega sexmachine. The colts weren't there because NO HOMO GAWD!

But not all was well at the horsegy. A crack of lighting came and out came Nightmare Moon, The Changling Queen (Because Chrysalis wasn't used and I don't want to be non-canon.), and Daylight Sun. (The Evil version of Celestia that I made.)

"I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO!" Daftypone shouted to get the attention of the Trio of Evil.

And then all four of them fucked as the audience cheered for their lord. Thus the three reverted to their true forms.

"Thank you for saving us Daftypone." said Celestia.

"Is there anyway we can repay you?" Asked Luna.

"Oh I bet there is." replied Dafty.

And then they fucked. And thus the world was safe for Monarchy.