I'm Not Worthy

“You brought me HERE?!” Sunset asked in a sense of delirium. She couldn’t believe that Twilight had been so thoughtless and careless. When she came to her with the problem of being forgotten by her friends in the human world, she expected that a wave of the princess’s horn would solve all her problems. But no, instead, Twilight had to haul her into Canterlot, to the very doorstep of somepony who would have declared mortal hatred for her. When Twilight dropped a small hint about where they were going, Sunset hoped against hope that it wouldn’t be here.

“Twilight, she hates me!” Sunset exclaimed, “she didn’t even try to come after me when I went through the mirror! She despises anypony who tries to do what I did, and I’ll never be able to look her in the eye again!”

“Calm down, Sunset,” Twilight gently said, putting a friendly hoof on her shoulder, “Princess Celestia is a kind, sweet, and benevolent pony. She’ll forgive you, and treat you like the good friend you once were to her.”

“No, she won’t,” Sunset said in a shaky voice, “she’ll probably banish me from the castle. I won’t get any help here, Twi.”

Twilight simply smiled and led the way into the shining white building ahead of them…

“…I…I’m so sorry,” Sunset said as she felt tears of joy and relief come to her eyes. Princess Celestia had smiled at her! She had been received with kindness and warmth! She was overjoyed at the happening. She wanted to dance and sing, but she remembered exactly where she was and accepted the ruler’s warm embrace. It was affectionate, and deeply imbued with a sense of motherliness that she had not felt since she was a filly running about the palace.

But it also caused part of her to feel even worse than before. Here was Celestia being so kind and forgiving, yet she knew that she was not worthy of this. She felt that the ruler was doing something obligatory, as if to uphold the standards and practices of friendship that Equestria was known for. She didn’t deserve a hug or a kind word from Celestia. She deserved to be burned at the stake, or killed in some other terrible way. She had broken many Equestrian laws, and she felt like justice could only be served were her life to be ended.

“Princess, I-“ She began, but Celestia cut her off.

“Twilight, Luna,” the ruler said to her fellow princesses, “please withdraw. I’d like some time alone with my little pony, here.”

Twilight and Luna gave each other an odd look, but respectfully nodded and left the room. Celestia looked around the empty chamber before motioning for Sunset to follow her over to one of the giant stained glass windows. It just so happened to be the one featuring Twilight and her friends defeating Nightmare Moon. The giant white Alicorn looked with pride at her little ponies, and wished with all her heart that the yellow mare was among the group.

“My heart cannot tell you all of the feelings I’m experiencing now,” she said softly.

“Mine either, Princess,” Sunset said, “I mean…it’s been such a long time.”

“Please, my child,” Celestia said, “call me what you’ve always called me.”

Sunset looked in shock. It had been years since she had betrayed Celestia and run off into the human world. Her heart had completely changed since then, but she still felt undeserving of speaking to the ruler in such a casual, familial manner. Even though the white princess had been the one to pluck her from a basket off the streets of Canterlot and raise her as her own, she still felt that the term “mother” was too much.

“I can’t,” Sunset said as tears rolled down her face, “I should never call you my mother ever again. I was never worthy of being your daughter, and I’m not worthy now. I could never hope to be as good as you are.”

Celestia smiled and pulled her little pony closer. “I am not perfect, my Sunset, and I am not asking you to conform to any such standard. Perfectionism is a sickness, and I want friendship to be the cure for it.” She sighed before continuing. “Perhaps I demanded too much of you, and perhaps I was unfair in not granting you a princess title.”

“No, Princess,” Sunset said, “you did what was right. I was never deserving of such a stately name. I couldn’t run a bake sale, let alone an entire kingdom. Nothing could justify what I did, and all I can do is apologize and accept that I broke our bond.”

Once again, the ruler pulled Sunset closer. “Yes, you broke it, my dear. But the thing about bonds is…they can be repaired. I want to repair everything we once had, and bring myself into your life again. Sunset, we were so close. I remember your wide eyes while I taught you as a filly, and your thirst for knowledge. I always loved that about you. Yes, you would have made a marvelous princess.”

Sunset sniffed. She both loved and hated hearing the kind words pour from the ruler’s mouth. Her mind did battle with itself as she remembered growing older and realizing that Celestia would never give her the position she felt she deserved. But now, after learning what true friendship was, she knew she could never hold such a spot in Equestrian society. She was perfectly content in her new home, living out her days with her friends. Everything was right there, but everything seemed wrong here. Why was Celestia being so kind to her?

“I’m not worthy of your mercy, Princess,” Sunset said as more tears came, “I’m a criminal here. Please, I just want to accept a punishment.”

“You’ve already punished yourself for what you did,” Celestia said, “there’s nothing more to be done. You’ve learned about friendship, and I’ll be glad to help you with whatever problem you may be facing. I deduce that you have a reason for being here that’s greater than the two of us. But I just…needed to share a few moments with you, my beloved filly. I still love you, Sunset. I always have.”

Sunset turned and buried her head in Celestia’s shoulder, weeping heavily. Her broken heart was instantly mended. She felt her mother’s warm embrace and kind spirit sewing new seeds of friendship where the old had been battered. Everything was made new, and she suddenly never wanted to leave that spot. The world seemed to fall away, leaving her and her adoptive mother in a beautiful embrace of care and love. Their trust was restored. She still felt unworthy, but her mother’s forgiveness was beginning to wash that feeling away too.

“I love you too…mother.”