A hangover with adorkable royalty
The sound of something woke me from a peaceful sleep. I never liked getting up early. It was the thing I hated the most about going to school.
It wasn't easy to force my heavy eyelids to open, and there was no time to think about anything before I grew aware of a pounding headache. My stomach was hurting too, throat felt dry, and was thirsty as buck. In general, my whole body felt limp and sore.
Ugh, did I break a Pinkie Promise by mistake? If so, Pinkie let me off easy.
Lying on my back in my bed, I looked down at my shirt, a white one, and saw a few brown stains on the part over my chest. A memory of the last evening emerged in the 'ol noggin: I drank cider for the first time. That helped register that I was feeling the effects of my first-ever hangover. Fan--bucking--tastic! It felt worse than I imagined it would have, but at least this was one of my days off from the spa.
Yet even taking my hangover into account, something wasn’t right about my bedroom.
The room’s closed door, a light-green double-door, was to the left, about half the room's length away. The door should have been to the right AND my bed should have been further away from it. In fact, when I took a closer look at the blanket covering me, up to just below my chest, I noticed it wasn’t my usual blue one. It was a dark-purple one with some thin, lighter purple lines in the shape of swirls. Those swirls appeared to be slowly spinning. Not good.
My headache brought me out of thoughts about the door and blanket. I raised a limp arm to rub my head, hoping that would somehow lower the pain.
"Oh, my head. Guess Twilight was right about the cider," I muttered.
A groggy female voice on my right groaned and said, "See? I tried to warn you.”
I turned my head toward the voice as I started, “And you were right as usu--”
The nature of the situation sank in when I saw who was lying there, already halfway in the process of rolling over toward me.
She was a purple alicorn, or a lavender alicorn to be somewhat more technical. She was Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.
Where I was lying at this moment became clear. I was in Twilight’s bedroom. In her bed. With her still in said bed. I look at that pony as my Equestrian big sister, and she thinks of me as her little brother, so this was "awkward" on steroids. The way her pupils shrank "showed" that she more or less agreed!
You are probably wondering how I got into this situation. Me too. But before the screaming starts, I better say who I am. Twilight might hand/hoof me my butt, figuratively and literally, for this later.
I’m Eric “Buggie” Reed.
I’ve been trapped in Equestria for several months now. But Twilight, the one who found me here, let me stay in her castle and even told me that I can think of it as my home. I still refer to it as her home or castle out of respect, though, and she's also done a lot for me since we met. As I said before, we also have a brother-sister friendship, and I have a similar bond with Starlight Glimmer and Spike.
And now, the not-so-long-awaited screaming.
"AHHHHHHH!!"
After our vocal cords got a workout they usually get in a week, Twilight and I rolled away from each other, rolled off the bed, and onto that hard, unforgiving floor with a grunt. Like I didn’t feel sore enough! The thud and grunt of pain from Twilight "told" me what she did; I couldn't actually see her fall and hit the floor.
The energy still flowing from the shock of the situation allowed me to spring to my feet and face Twilight. She was back on her hooves, facing me, on the other side of the bed, with the bed's blanket wrapped around her. She had no reason to cover herself -- like most ponies, she rarely wore anything -- so I bet it happened by accident when she rolled off the bed. Part of her horn was stuck in her pillow, a purple one. If not for the awkwardness of this moment, I would have thought it looked adorkable. She's prone to doing that.
I pointed at the bed and asked, "Twilight, how did we end up in your bed?!"
"I know how I did, but why were--"
The pain from my headache made me moan and rub my head again. That energy I felt all but left. Twilight mirrored my hand movements with a hoof on one of her forelegs, also moaning.
"Ugh...what happened after we drank that cider, Twi? I can't remember."
"No clue, Buggie. The last thing I remember is asking if you were sure about drinking cider, so I guess I don't know how I got in bed last night."
"And the last thing I remember is asking if you wanted to drink some cider with me, but everything else is a big blank," I said. "I must have overdid it.”
"After what happened the last time I got drunk, I have no idea what I was thinking if I did too."
Twilight shook the blanket and pillow off her, groaning from the effort. After a groan from me, we sat on the bed to get off our feet/hooves and try to recover some energy. Neither of us said anything and instead concentrated on taking good, deep breaths with some head rubs mixed in. Some birds chirped outside the room's window, which I wished would have stayed quiet. If not for my headache, the chirps would have been soothing. At least my overall discomfort helped me not notice how thirsty I was too much.
After maybe twenty seconds, I asked, "Twi? You're an alicorn, and didn't you say that alicorns can make most hangovers better with their magic?"
"We can, but my head hurts too much to cast the spell for it. Luckily, Starlight is one of the few unicorns strong enough to cast spells to reduce hangovers, so she could do it. Can you walk?"
"More or less, but I'm not letting you try to walk around the castle by yourself to find her," I answered.
"Okay, then let's look for her together. With the condition we're in, we should lean against each other so we won't fall."
Twilight and I pushed ourselves off the bed, and she wobbled around the bed to me with her eyes spinning. She was in even worse shape than I thought, making me fight the urge to tell her to get back in bed. The mare would have refused to listen.
Once beside me, Twilight wrapped a foreleg around my back and I wrapped an arm around her back, then we stumbled out her bedroom's door and down the hallways of the castle. Every step sapped the little energy my muscles still had. The light-green double-doors of the hallways, on either side of us, looked like they were spinning.
This was shaping up to be such a fun morning! Not.
Before we got too far, Twilight and I heard voices coming from one of the "spinning" doors to the library and staggered toward it. Once in front of it, Twilight gritted her teeth, groaned as her horn glowed pink, the door opened in the same color magic, and we stumbled through it. I've never seen her use so much effort just to open a door before. If we weren't still holding each other up, we would have probably hit the floor by this point.
Inside, Starlight, Spike, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash were chilling. Rainbow was reading a Daring Do book and Spike had his nose in a comic book, both sat in chairs. Pinkie was hopping in place beside Rainbow, with the trademark springing sound effect her hops do. "Starie" was just sitting in her own chair beside Spike. Yesterday, the gang talked about spending the night in a sleepover, but there was no time to really think about why Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack weren’t there.
Spike lifted his head from his book and toward the Princess of Hangovers and me. “Hey, guys! Oof, you don’t look so good.”
“That’s because we’re not,” Twilight answered with a groan. “We’re both having a bad hangover, so, Starlight, can you do the spell that helps with them before we fall over?”
Starlight’s horn glowed light-blue and a wide beam hit both Twilight and me at the same time, though there was no feeling of an impact. It “felt” like a bright beam of light touching me. Though, I definitely felt its effects: energy flowed through me, my headache and stomachache eased up, and the doors in the library stopped spinning. My body still felt a bit weak and sore, and I was still a little thirsty, but my overall condition was FAR more manageable than before. After Twi and I let out a relieved sigh, we let each other go.
I said, ”Whew, that's much better! Thanks, Starie.”
“Yeah, Starlight, thanks. But do any of you know what happened to Eric and me last night, and how did we both end up in my bed?”
Starlight, Spike, Pinkie, and Rainbow looked to one another, stifling a laugh it seemed. It even made Pinkie stop hopping.
“What?” Twilight and I both asked at the same time.
Apparently, they couldn’t hold it in, and they all burst out in laughter. Rainbow and Spike dropped their books as they were busy laughing it up. Twilight and I stared at each other and she had a puzzled frown. What was so funny? I had a hunch, but I was just really hoping to be wrong.
Spike said through laughter, “Oh, and you don’t remember what happened!” Spike laughed even harder.
Also talking through laughter, Rainbow said, "And I'm so glad I stayed the night for this! Ha ha ha! This is priceless!"
Twilight and I turned back toward the laughing gang as Twi demanded, “Come on, just tell us what happened last night!”
Pinkie calmed her laughing a bit and answered, in a teasing voice, “Oh, you and Eric had fuuuuun!”
Starlight broke through her laughing and said, “Of all the things I thought you two would do to each other...what I saw last night was NOT any of them!”
Uh-oh. It was looking like I was right.
I gulped and turned toward Twilight again and she mirrored me. Thoughts of what she, a mare and my Equestrian big sister, and I might have done made me shudder. And that was before any thoughts about what possibly happened in her bed came to mind, and when they did...I didn’t feel so good, again. Not that I think that Twilight’s gross or something; she is cute, especially when she smiles. But still, NO!
“So Twi and I...kissed?” I asked in a low voice. Luckily, I spoke just loud enough to be heard.
“The fun answer would be how many times you kissed!” Rainbow answered, before she made like a laughing hyena and laughed even harder.
Oh no! We kissed that much?!
Twilight stuttered, “W-Well, did we d-do anything e-else?”
Pinkie answered, “We didn’t see what happened after you two went in your bedroom, but going by the sounds we heard--”
NO! I couldn't take any more...details, and I shouted. Twilight must have felt the same way because she shouted too. We weren’t saying words, but were simply letting out sounds.
After a brief moment of unintelligible screaming, I stuttered, “O-O-Okay! That’s enough! T-Twi? H-How about we, uh--”
“Pretend that this never happened and never drink cider ever, ever, ever again?” Twilight finished for me.
“Yep, yep, and we don't remember what we did anyway. But, just in case, do you think it’s possible for a human and pony to produce viab--”
Twilight covered my mouth with a hoof to shut me up. “I don’t know if our genomes are similar enough for that, but let's HOPE we don't learn the answer in eleven months!”
Both Twilight and I zipped out of the library and down the hallways in opposite directions. I didn't even think about where to even go. All I knew was that I wanted to be away from Twilight Sparkle for a while, knowing that we...NO!
Why didn’t I listen to her when she was nagging me to hold off on drinking that cider? Why?!
At the very, very least, I'll hope that whatever foal comes out of her doesn’t have wings as huge as Flurry Heart’s. Or the slaps from Twilight’s hooves if she starts yelling “You did this to me!” in eleven months are going to hurt that much more. I've heard stories about that in my old world.
After Eric Reed and Twilight Sparkle had fled the library, once the pair were out of hearing range, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer erupted in the loudest laughter yet.
Rainbow asked, “Oh, did you guys see how fast they ran out?”
Pinkie said, “I’ve never seen them more freaked-out than that!”
Starlight held her stomach. “Oh! My stomach is hurting from laughing!”
Spike eased his laughing and admitted, “But I feel a little bad. Where are we going to tell them the truth?”
Talking through giggles, Rainbow said, "After a few minutes. I need to get all my laughs out first.”
The previous evening, an hour before Princess Luna raised the moon…
At Applejack’s farm, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike, Starlight Glimmer, and Eric Reed were standing outside the largest door to its currently closed barn. Beside them was a long, wooden table with two empty cups and a larger, full bottle of cider. Eric held a third empty cup in his left hand.
Since arriving in Equestria, Eric had wanted to try apple cider. At eighteen, he was right at the legal age to drink in Equestria. However, Twilight wasn’t sure how his non-Equestrian body would react to it, so she was reluctant to let him try it. After a series of tests with some special spells from Twilight, to determine if cider would be safe on his body, was successful, Eric was at last going to drink some.
Applejack picked up the bottle of cider with her hooves and poured some into Eric’s cup, filling it up. “Well, Eric, here ya go! Drink up!”
Eric’s smile deepened as he gazed at the bubbly cup, some bubbles overflowing from it. “Yes! I've waited for this for months!”
With a worried frown, Twilight asked, “Are you sure about this, Buggie? The tests that you were comfortable with me performing proved it would be safe, but Equestrian cider may still affect your human physiology more strongly. One of the tests suggested it.”
“Yeah, well, I have waited for this for too long, so I’ll take my chances, Mom.”
Twilight groaned, rolling her eyes. “Ugh, will you stop that? I know I’m not your mom, but do you want to go through what I went through last month?”
Eric chuckled, even though he didn't think it was funny when it was happening. “No, I do not, and you wouldn't leave your bed for two days, big sis! But you seem a little tense, so how about we both drink a cup?”
Twilight rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof. She was in the mood for cider, but memories of the previous month made her hesitate. “Uh...after last month, I don’t know. I do not want to suffer that kind of a hangover again. Even spells from alicorns wouldn't be able to help with such a severe hangover.”
Rainbow pointed out, “That happened because you drank way too much. But you'll be fine if you don't overdo it again.”
“Well…”
Pinkie hopped beside Twilight. “Come on, Twilight!” In a sing-songy voice, Pinkie added, “You know you want to!”
After a brief moment of resisting, Twilight moved her hoof off her neck and smiled. “Okay, I’ll have a cup!”
“Heh, I didn't think you would give in, Twilight. I’m impressed,” Spike remarked with a playful smirk.
Twilight’s horn glowed pink and she levitated a cup from the table to her, which Applejack promptly filled. It too was overflowing with bubbles.
“There ya go, Twi! Glad to see yer lightenin’ up.“
Twilight and Eric moved their cups toward each other to tap them. After which Eric said, “Well, bottoms up!”
The two lifted their cups to their mouths, allowing the cold, bubbling cider to flow into their mouths and down their throats. Some spilled onto Twilight’s chest and Eric’s white shirt, but neither responded to it in the least. As she watched Twilight and Eric drink, Rainbow's own mouth drooled, some of it fell to the ground. Applejack anticipated this, and filled the third empty cup on the table and "hoofed" it to Rainbow.
Because Twilight was more used to cider, she finished her cup before Eric, wiping her mouth and burped. Ten seconds after Twilight was done, but eighteen seconds after Rainbow had drunk all the cider in her cup, Eric finished his cup and also burped.
“Wow, that tasted even better than I thought it would! Can I have more?”
Twilight said, “And you know what? I’ll take another cup too.”
“Okay, and I have plenty. What about you, Rainbow?”
"Nah, I'm good. If I drink more" -- Rainbow spread her wings proudly -- "I won't be in tip-top shape for the Wonderbolt test runs tomorrow."
Applejack chuckled at the maturity Rainbow showed, and filled Twilight’s and Eric’s cup with more cider. Like before, some bubbles from the cider poured out of their cups. The pair downed the cider, with Twilight again finishing her cup first, with Eric doing the same seven seconds later.
After a short rest, they requested a third cup. Then a fourth. And then a fifth. Happy to see her friends enjoying her cider, Applejack was willing to get a second bottle after the first one was empty. Sweet Apple Acres had an unusually bountiful amount of cider, so Applejack was far looser with it than she normally would have been.
After they had drunk their fifth cup, the pair swayed on their legs and hiccuped repeatedly. At this point, they were standing beside each other, wearing drunken smiles.
“Wow, that was *hiccup* something else! I didn’t think cider *hiccup* tasted this good!”
Twilight said, “The Apples really *hiccup* outdid themselves this time!”
“Well, it might take time to make, but it’s well-worth the time to do it right!” Applejack said, voice full of pride.
Eric lifted his cup toward Pinkie, then toward Applejack. “And, Rarity, I’ll take one *hiccup* more cup!”
Twilight's cup bobbled in the air as she pointed it towards Spike, then Applejack. “And I will too, Trixie. What *hiccup* harm will it do?” Twilight had already lost her usual level-headedness to the effects of the tasty cider.
Seeing the shape her friends were in, Applejack gasped and facehoofed, realizing she had made a terrible mistake. This was how Twilight had become so drunk the previous month.
Pony apples. Like a dang foal, I did it again! Out loud, Applejack said, “Uh...I don’t think so. Both of y’all are wobblin' and sayin' the wrong names.”
Twilight protested, “Wobbling? We’re not *hiccup* wobbling! Are we, little sis?”
Eric agreed, “Nope, I don’t *hiccup* see any wobbling, big bro!”
“Probably because you’re too busy hiccuping to notice,” Spike sarcastically said.
“Bah, wobbling, bobbling, I’ll *hiccup* take another cup, Maud." Eric turned his head to Twilight, his drunken smile deepening. "Though, Twilight, I must say, you are *hiccup* looking pretty hot right now!” Eric reached for Twilight's muzzle to tap it, or “boop” it, but missed and "booped" her cheek, forcing a giggle from her. He pulled his finger back, reached for her muzzle again, and this time he successfully booped it, making her giggle a second time.
Twilight's own drunken smile deepened. She reached out her wing to wrap around Eric, but failed to spread it out wide enough, making it graze his arm beside her. After another (literal) hiccup, the mare spread the same wing out again wider, this time successfully wrapping it completely around the young man. “Not as *hiccup* hot as you, Eric, and I *hiccup* thought Flash Shimmer looked good!” Twilight “booped" Eric’s nose with a hoof, forcing chuckles from him. With Twilight's wing still wrapped around Eric, the two teetered and giggled drunkenly, with hiccups mixed in with the giggling.
With their mouths open, Applejack, Spike, Starlight, and the other sober friends stared at the drunk pair, blinking two times. After her second blink, Rarity moaned and fainted from shock. Pinkie pulled out a blue rag from her mane to wipe her eyes with. They had never heard Twilight Sparkle or Eric Reed, who think of each other as siblings, talk or act like that to each other.
A male voice from behind said, “Uh, nope! Those two have had enough."
The group spun around to the voice, while Twilight and Eric collapsed to the ground with a grunt. By one of the farm's fences nearest to them stood a red earth pony, Big Mac, shaking his head.
“Okay, I won’t *hiccup* ask for more,” Twilight unexpectedly said while still lying on her stomach.
Rainbow asked, “So you wised up?”
Twilight’s horn glowed. The bottle still half-full of cider, the cups she and Eric had drunk from, as well as herself and Eric, vanished with a “poof.”
With the exception of the still-unconscious Rarity, the friends looked to their left and right. At the same time, Pinkie put her rag back in her mane. Along with the cups and bottle, they saw Twilight and Eric teleporting in random spots around the farm's carrot fields, chicken coops, and more distant apple trees. After one last teleportation, the drunk pair disappeared from sight.
Fluttershy set a hoof on her cheek. “Oh, my. This is like last month all over again, except Twilight's not just teleporting herself this time.”
"At least she didn't drink eight cups this time like you all said she did back then," Starlight said.
Rainbow exclaimed, “Never mind that: we gotta find those two before they overdo it with that cider or with...themselves even more!”
“But where could they be?” Pinkie asked. "I would use my Pinkie Sense to find them, but it can only find drunk parasprites, not drunk friends."
The group raised their heads up or down. After five seconds, Spike snapped his claws. “Oh, I know! When Twilight was drunk last month, she sometimes teleported to the castle's library to practice friendship speeches she hasn't given yet. Maybe that's where they are now.”
“Then let’s go, y’all!” Applejack said, but looked down at the Rarity. "But, one of us should carry Rarity till she wakes up."
With the exception of Big Mac, with Spike on Applejack's back and Starlight holding Rarity in her magic, the friends bolted from the farm. Their eyes locked on the crystal tree-castle in the distance, the Castle of Friendship.
Starlight was so rattled by Twilight's and Eric's words, she forgot that she could have teleported the group to the castle.
Finally reaching the castle, The friends sped through the its grand, two-leaved gold doors, through its lobby and hallways, and eventually busted through one of the library doors. At this point, Rarity had woken up and was on her hooves again.
In the middle of the room and near a table, Twilight and Eric lay on the floor beside each other, facing the other’s direction. Both their eyes were closed, and they both wore drunken grins. Eric’s hat, a white one that bore a design of the Cutie Marks of all the ponies currently in the room, with Twilight’s and Starlight’s Cutie Marks at the top, lay above his head on the floor. Lying in a puddle of cider were the two cups the pair had drunk from, and the bottle the cider was in, empty, save for a bit running off the edge of the larger bottle.
Starlight said, “Oh, boy. Those two are going to be feeling that in the morning.”
Applejack growled when her eyes spotted the cider on the floor. “And that’s a waste of good cider. The farm has plenty, but I still hate seein' cider wasted.”
Spike ran forward to Twilight and Eric and looked closely at Twilight's face, then Eric's face. “Good, I don't see any kiss marks on them. They must have passed out soon after Twilight teleported them here.”
“With the amount of cider those two had drunk, I doubt they will remember what they said or did when they wake up,” Rarity pointed out, almost like she had more experience at this kind of thing than she might let on.
Fluttershy said, “At least we can just carry Twilight to her bed, unlike the last time. And we should take Eric to his bed too.”
“Yeah...wait.” Rainbow looked directly at Rarity and asked, “Rarity, you said Twilight and Eric won’t remember what they did, right?”
“Yes, I did.”
Rainbow giggled, rubbed her hooves mischievously, and faced the whole group. “Then this is too good to pass up. I have an idea.”
“What?” Spike asked.
“Let’s put both of them in Twilight’s bed,” Rainbow proposed.
The rest of the friends gasped and Fluttershy asked, “Why?!”
“If they wake up in the same bed, don’t remember what they did, but know they were drunk, we could have some fun with them.”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh, it’s tempting but...should we really do that to them? You know how Eric and Twilight look at each other as brother and sister.”
"Even if their words while drunk says otherwise," Spike commented.
Rainbow countered, “And that is why this is too good to pass up! Don’t you want to see their reaction if they think they might have...you know?”
Chuckling, Starlight set a hoof on her jaw, her inner prankster aroused. “It would be funny, but still--”
Rainbow interrupted, “I’ll take that as a 'yes' to my idea, so let’s take Twilight and her *snicker* Prince to her room.”
“Well, I would talk ya out of this hair-brained scheme, but...I’ll just take this as their ‘payment’ for wastin’ half that cider. Still, I'm gonna go, so I won't see Twi and Eric lose it when they wake up.”
“And if you are going to be like juvenile foals, I shall pass on our sleepover as well,” Rarity said, but quickly covered her mouth, so the others wouldn’t see her giggling. Fluttershy also hid her giggling by looking away.
After Rarity had picked up the empty bottle of cider and cups with her magic for Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack trotted out of the library to head to their respective homes. Fluttershy left because she would have felt too embarrassed to stay, knowing what would happen when Twilight and Eric awaken. Applejack was able to hide her amusement of Rainbow's scheme completely, so she didn't even chuckle.
Meanwhile, with Starlight carrying Twilight and Eric in her magic, Starlight, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Spike crept out of the library through a different door. Holding back giggles, they made their way down the hallways and to Twilight’s bedroom.
Once by Twilight’s bedroom door, Starlight opened it with her magic, slowly levitated Twilight and Eric into the room, over the Princess’s bed, and gently laid them on its soft mattress. Neither Twilight nor Eric made a sound or moved. Starlight then covered the two in a purple blanket, almost with a mother’s touch.
The friends walked back down the hallway. However, Rainbow, with a huge, mischievous grin, took one last look at the sleeping Twilight and Eric before she left.
Sweet dreams, Prince and Princess, and I can’t wait until tomorrow!
Author's Note
Oh, Rainbow Dash, you prankster you!
Fun fact: the average real-life pony pregnancy is around eleven months, which is why Twilight said "eleven" months. I looked at up as I was editing this story, so I could make this otherwise silly story at least 1% educational.
It's 100% too much educational as far as my younger self is concerned.
Hey! Stories with some education in them is a good thing! In addition to learning the magic of friendship, young minds should learn as much--
Twilight, stop pulling a Pinkie Pie by breaking the 4th wall and go away, before your talk of looking for educational stories hurt this story's ratings! The rest of the bronies aren't supposed to know you're real, remember? Or do you want them to write more of "those" stories where you--
I-I don't, and I'm going to go now!
Wait, before you go, when are you finally going to take me to Equestria?
...
Twilight? Twilight?
