Derpyhammer 40,000

by DerpyAnon_

Rating: teen
Tags: Science Fiction, Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Warhammer
Length: 1524

By some strange twist of fate Derpy Hooves finds herself in the treacherous realm of the warp

Perhaps bound by fate Derpy Hooves appears in the dreaded Warp. A realm of souls, home to daemons and horrors alike. How will our grey pegasus fare in this strange and twisted land?

Published 2020-02-25 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-25 23:30:01 UTC

A strange land

The Warp, an ever shifting plane of reality, writhing and contorting in an almost lifelike manner. The realm of souls was a treacherous landscape, even for the most battle hardened of warriors. Somehow in this hellish realm a grey pony had found herself upon a daemon world. She stuck out like sore thumb, her cheery atmosphere clashing against the ever changing colors of a twisted sky.

Trotting through the alien landscape with a curious yet brisk pace. The grass, a unique shade of blue, felt rather nice against her hooves. Passing glassy spires reaching into a stormy sky, unphased by the unnatural chill of the daemonic wind, she continued on. Though she dared not to fly through the maelstrom in the sky.

Eventually she had reached a twisted city, every house a contorted mess of coral and glass. The grass soon changed to a cool stone walkway. Clacking of hooves on a hard surface seemed to shift the area around her. Not long after she happened across a distant conversation

"Give that back!" a distinct sneering tone of voice rang out

"You've had it for too long!" another sounded

"I was the one who stole it. It's mine!"

Derpy approached the sound semi cautiously, having an unending optimism about the situation. Soon she came to the source of the calamity. A group of blue, bipedal bird creatures stood around a fire spouting green flames from it's center. The blaze flickered against their bronze-ish armor strangely. Atop each of their heads were warped horns and a beak protruding outward. Perhaps the most noticeable of things at this camp were the alien weapons and books scattered around haphazardly, each of them full of runes she didn't understand. Derpy approached the curious group with an air of whimsy "Hi!" she called out .The two standing creatures looked at her with a puzzled expression. They too were befuddled by the pony creature before them.

"And what are you?" the sneering voice called out. It belonged to the closest creature, it's horns being longer than most, it's beak covered in metal.

"I"m Derpy! Oh wait, you asked what I am. I'm a pegasus!" The bird creature shot a glance at its compatriot before returning his eyes to this peculiar creature before them

"Peg-a-sus" it sounded out, tapping a finger on the lower half of it's beak. Seemingly deep in thought at this peculiar word "We never heard of anything like that"

"And what are you guys? I haven't seen anything like you in Ponyville." The beast looked once again at the group before deciding this grey thing wasn't a threat

"We are Tzaangors, servants of our Lord Tzeentch!" He said proudly, clashing his wrists together in a strange alien salute. She looked at the Tzaangors with inquisitive eyes "Who's that?"

"Y-you haven't heard of the Lord of Change?" it questioned. The various others gave the same befuddled look.

"Nope" she smiled

"How did you even get here without knowing of the chaos gods?"

"Well I'm kind of lost. Exactly where am I?" she admitted bashfully, her previously grey face had a tinge of red

"You mean you just STUMBLED into the Warp?" the thing asked in disbelief. She nodded, this seemed to bewilder them all the more.

"Would you guys mind if I stayed here for a night? My hooves and wings are awfully tired" She gestured to her outstretched wing

"I suppose so" it sighed "You really shouldn't be alone in the Warp."

She trotted towards the campfire "I didn't mean to end up here. I was walking around the town and suddenly I was here." Taking a comfortable seat by the green fire she watched the unnatural green flames leap into the air, throwing a handful of sparks into the uncaring night.Over the next hour or so the things would ask questions and Derpy did the same. Eventually however she put her head down and slept through the rest of the night. Unsure if she wanted to be back in Ponyville or make more friends in this realm.

The mare had awoken to a strange scene, the blue creatures had utterly disappeared. The campfire was nothing but a pile of ash and the occasional bright green ember. She sat up, rather confused and a slight bit concerned. Where had her friends gone? Driven by a passionate curiosity she followed a trail of scattered books and weapons. Brass shields, axes, and armor dotted the street, each with a pile of ash next to it.

The houses seemed disturbed. They shifted more violently as reacting to something unseen, some parts of the structures were fractured. Yet she continued onward, determined to find her friends. However as she journeyed a growing feeling of unease would not leave her.

As she went on more and more of the buildings were piles of coral and glass rubble. A green ooze were splattered across the streets, a horrid stench permeated the area. Massive hooves left their imprints on the landscape, the road collapsing where this beast walked .Passing around a corner the mare found herself gazing upon the creature

A half human beast towered the Tzaangors surrounding it. A massive warhammer in its hands, the end of it coated in a corrosive slime that poured to the ground. It's skin was sickly shade of green, erupting with boils and growths, pus and blood poured from various cavities on its broad shoulders and arms. Powerful hooves shook the ground, throwing her blue friends off their balance. Their weapons clattered to the ground. Finally its accursed face, a single bloodshot, unblinking eye surveyed the battle. It's face contorted into a grotesque smile and lastly. A lone horn pointed skyward. She watched as the blue daemons went flying and turning to piles of ash, however she seemed utterly oblivious to this gruesomeness of it all.

"Ha!" it bellowed. The beast's deep and gurgling voice boomed out. With just it's presence the daemon seemed to violate the peaceful village. It grabbed one of the daemons at its feet and lifted it with ease

"Where are rest of you?" it bellowed, a putrid black ichor sprayed at the helpless beast. All it could do was let out a strangled squawk before it was flung into a wall. "No matter, I will find your greater daemons!" And so the dreaded beast continued on, smashing through droves of Tzaangors with a jolly madness. It's victims screeched in terror. The daemon charged, cracking the stones beneath it's hooves. With a loud war-cry it pushed it's weight against a glass structure. Crystalline shards fell around it.

In a gruesome display of sheer power the daemon slaughtered the lesser ones. Massive hooves crushing it's enemies. The gargantuan hammer bringing devastating blows to entire groups of Tzaangors. Ash mingled with glass shards were scattered around the scene, weapons eventually fell silent and armor clattered to the ground without a host. The monster whirled around and faced Derpy. Without any more enemies to kill it took menacing steps towards the mare, the same horrid smile plastered across it's face.

"I don't know what you are but I do know that you cannot live!" it roared. There was a loud clank of boots and the crackle of energy. A towering figure appeared before Derpy clad in grey armor. He wielded a massive greatsword

"I've been lookin' for you" the man yelled, a thick, unknown accent masked his speech.

"You cannot best me mortal!" the daemon cried. Standing up taller than normal, Derpy realized exactly how big the thing was, yet she was still cheery despite the scene.

"Underestimatin' me is the last thing you wanna do." he stated. In a whirl the figure flew towards the daemon, sword raised.

It swung it's hammer in a wide, deadly arc. The man, despite his armor rolled out of the way, his long blonde hair whipped around wildly. The beast raised it's warhammer and prepared for a destructive downward blow. Seeing his opportunity the warrior charged forward and drove his greatsword deep into the chest of the daemon. It roared in pain and anger, it thrashed wildly to throw the man off. The warrior was flung away from the beast and rolled, facing the injured beast.

"By the plague lord I will crush you!" it roared, once again attempting to strike it's armored foe. The man, realizing he had no room to dodge, leaped and brought his greatsword to the daemon's warhammer handle. In a herculean display of strength the two writhed against eachother, both intent on utter destruction. The man pushed with his weight and shattered the iron handle in two, rendering the thing's weapon utterly useless.

The daemon was utterly shocked, paralyzed with the feat of strength performed by this human before him. Seizing his chance, the warrior once again leaped and cleaved the daemon's head off. It's bloated corpse dissolved into a heap of slime. He walked over to the mare, that watched this battle with amazement

"Thanks mister! Who are you anyway?" she asked in awe

"I, am Leman Russ. Primarch of the Space Wolves" he said in a hardy tone