Author's Note

Bit of an interlude chapter, or as much as one as this story will have. Chapter contains: Stallion solo, Voyeurism, gay and straight innuendoes, and some well-deserved table-turning.

Thanks yet again to AJ_Aficionado and Silentwoodfire for the preread!

Postal Passions: 7 - Male Call

The early morning shift at the Ponyville Post Office had been slow to start, but was finally beginning to pick up steam.

The mail workers were all a little hungover after the Nightmare Night celebration, which as a rule, included a few too many ciders in addition to some exotic drinks of questionable origin and legality, including a smuggled drum full of buffalo whiskey, unlabeled flasks of Lunar moonshine, and even some griffon rum that G-E couriers had snuck past customs to offer their favorite ponies.

And that was to say nothing of the Sweet Apple Acres Special Reserve Cider that didn’t seem to be alcoholic but cast a warm glow over everything, making socializing—and occasionally more!—far easier with just a single downed mug.

It had been a fun evening, but there was a price to be paid for postal workers; the Ponyville Post Office never closed for Nightmare Night as mail deliveries had to resume early the next day. They were all a bit bleary-eyed and sipping water to try and stave off the hangover that was trying to claim them after a raucous festival—one that had included an unexpectedly adult show in the form of a visibly inebriated Fluttershy going down on Twilight Sparkle’s horn, causing her to climax in front of everypony with an explosion of magical sparkles.

All of which was forgotten at that moment as they tried to ready the next day’s mail shorthooved. “So first Derpy disappears, then Certified Mail runs out into the rain, and now Postage Due is gone too?” Priority Parcel groused as a wet spot in the ceiling grew over his head, courtesy of a wind-loosened roofing shingle they’d been waiting on funds from the Postmare General in Canterlot to fix. His horn glowed as he swiftly organized and slotted a large stack of outgoing scrolls, envelopes, and smaller packages into various buckets and mailbags, rejecting one for insufficient postage and another for being improperly wrapped. “What is with everypony tonight?”

Before he could get an answer, a fresh boom of lightning shook the building, causing a few drops of water from the roof leak to fall on the table in front of him. One hit his muzzle with what felt like a noticeable chill; he swore for a moment that it had been magically charged only for the feeling to pass quickly, leaving nothing more than a spot of wetness where it sat.

“And then there’s this storm nopony bothered to tell us about!” He looked up at the ceiling in annoyance, and then zapped the area with a waterproof barrier spell in hopes it would hold until morning, wiping the wetness on his nose and the table up with a paper towel before magically crumpling it up and throwing it away.

Courier Six sighed and gave a pitying shake of her head, pressing down on the wide brim of her stetson out of habit. “Spoken like a true city pony. Back when I was working for the Moojave Express you didn’t complain about the odd rain shower, you know! You were expected to deliver the mail through storms and hostile territory! And it didn’t matter if you were sick or injured! Remind me to tell you the story of when I was late and had to make up time by taking a shortcut through sacred Buffalo stampeding grounds.”

“Let me guess—you got shot through the head with a Buffalo arrow?” Priority Parcel rolled his eyes.

“Only once, but the game had been rigged from the start.” Courier’s expression grew cold and distant before pulling herself out of her reverie. “So in the immortal words of C-M: Suck it up and deal with it! We’ve worked with fewer than this after outbreaks of the feather flu, and still got the mail out on time.”

“Yeah, well, C-M isn’t here now, is he?” the young unicorn stallion further grumbled, his mind a mixture of headache and horniness. The latter was hardly unusual for him given his youth, looks and virility; he was courted constantly by mares looking to land him as their herd stallion, and he took full advantage of it—and of them—for it. He wasn’t interested in settling down, but he loved a good rut, and eligible bachelor that he was, he had no shortage of opportunities to indulge himself.

“No, but I am!” Express Shipment reminded him sharply. “If he’s not here, I’m in charge. And as acting manager, I’m telling you to shut your pie hole and get back to work!”

“Bucking boss mare…” he muttered under his breath as he resumed sorting, finding himself with a sudden fantasy of silencing her with a muzzle full of his stallion meat.

The image caused him to blink hard. Huh? Where THAT’D come from? he wondered. A confirmed bachelor and lady’s stallion, he immensely enjoyed having his pick of the prettiest mares—which neither she nor Courier Six was in his eyes for being middle-aged—but he’d actually failed to score that night because he wasn’t able to hit the much more mature midnight festival, having been ordered by Certified Mail to show up early.

Retaliation, he was sure, for openly flouting his many conquests in front of him at work by depriving him of a golden opportunity for a new one. “Fine time to leave us hanging,” he grumbled as he felt his unsated stallionhood begin to poke free of its sheath. Yeah, I know what YOU want. Too bad it’ll have to wait for after shift and somepony a bit better LOOKING! he told his own organ, swearing not for the first time that it had both a mind of its own and a will to defy him as he felt it engorge further, already hanging halfway to the tiled floor.

“Doesn’t matter,” Express Shipment informed him irritably, unaware of his growing arousal. “He’s the boss. You aren’t. He signs your performance appraisals and stamps your paychecks. We’ve got a ton of mail to get through and only half the ponies we need, so quit complaining and sort!”

“Whatever.” Priority Parcel found himself blaming Certified Mail for both his state and the fact he was now actively fantasizing about his much older coworkers. It’s not MY fault you can’t get laid, you impotent excuse for a STALLION! Sorry no mare will have you, but don’t take it out on ME! he told his unicorn manager with the thoughts he would never voice out loud—at least, not until he moved to Manehattan the following spring to work for a private shipping company, at which point he was planning to tell his overbearing boss off upon departure.

Hay, I wish I could do it right NOW! he grimaced as he felt his unmet urges intensify; his shaft reaching full rigidity and beginning to throb fiercely. In fact, why WAIT? If he fired me now, I could head out to a pub and pick out a prettier piece of plot than THESE two! Celestia knows I’d REALLY been looking forward to being apples deep in some mare… he mused, his mind flashing back unbidden to the surprise scene of a drunken Fluttershy going down on Princess Twilight’s horn again. It had been a very hot display in his mind, and one the young stallion planned to fantasize to later, once he got off shift.

Finding himself unable to wait, his sorting slowed as he found himself beginning to do just that, closing his eyes and smiling for a moment as his organ twitched and tingled appreciatively, if out of sight behind his table.

Lucky filly… guess she’s been pretty hard-up for being a Princess and not being able to court males? Hey, I’d be HAPPY to give her what she needs! He mentally inserted himself in the public scene between the two mares, mounting Twilight while Fluttershy went down on his horn, his efforts leaving the former screaming his name and the latter with a mouthful of mating magic that addicted her to his aura.

Just doing my duty to crown and country! he envisioned telling the Princess as he closed his eyes and began rocking his hips forward in imagined thrusts into her, causing his erection to begin slapping lightly beneath his belly. Yeah… that’s the stuff… he licked his lips as he further fantasized that the Princess and her pegasus friend was so taken with him that they fell to their knees before him and began worshipping his masculine essence orally, laying licks and kisses all over his apples before making their way down his swollen sheath onto his shaft.

“Oh yeah…” he called out softly. He then felt a surge of magic towards his horn, threatening to ignite his mating aura—

“Stop daydreaming and start sorting!”Express Shipment called out to him, breaking the mood and the moment, causing his urges and incipient mating magic to briefly recede. “You’re at the Post Office, not a pub! So whatever mare you’re thinking about screaming your name, save it!” she ordered imperiously as Courier Six only smirked.

“Yes ma’am…” Priority Parcel growled as his fragile fantasy was shattered. But within seconds, he found himself thinking anew about mounting her instead; the little of his erection he had lost instantly restoring itself at the idea. Only briefly thwarted, his increasingly mating-fevered mind quickly swapped Twilight and Fluttershy in his fantasy scene for Express Shipment and Courier Six—with one notable change:

Shippy’s married, so I bet she hasn’t had anything but standard sex for years! I bet if I took her tail instead of her marehood, she’d be BEGGING for more!

The thought caused him to blink hard again despite the intensified and appreciative throbbing of his organ at the idea, which he swore felt much fuller and bigger than it had ever been before. The movement of his hips caused its head to hit at least an inch further up his belly than previously, leaving a wet spot on the fabric of his uniform vest that had previously been just out of reach of his erection.

It was only at that moment he understood how incredibly engorged it was and how turned on he was, finding himself increasingly at the mercy of an all-consuming desire to tuck. Still, longtime standards were not so easily tossed aside. You want THOSE two? Seriously…? he asked his own organ, which only answered with another fierce rush of blood, stretching his sensitive shaft further and sending a ripple of pleasure of his spine.

But, increasingly aroused and finding no other immediate outlets, he decided to go with it even though the pair of mares were far older than the females he usually went for, and Express Shipment was even herded with foals. Well, there’s something to be said for experience, right? he reasoned with a smile as he cast an appraising eye over them and found them not without charms, his organ twitching appreciatively again at the idea of being in them apples deep. Any port in a storm, I guess!

“I’d still like to know why Certy just ran out like that,” Express Shipment wondered aloud as Priority Parcel found himself shifting focus from her to Courier Six, going through the mental motions of undressing them both of their uniform vests with his aura followed by magically stimulating their teats and marehoods—two things he’d gotten very good at over the past two years and were the main reasons mares kept coming back to him even after they knew they couldn’t land him.

Unaware of his thoughts, Courier Six gave a heavy sigh. “Look, you heard Postage Due—she teased C-M over Derpy kissing him, and he took it badly. Who knows—maybe he got turned on by it and didn’t want to show it?” she suggested with a smirk as she brought out some fresh mail cartons by balancing them on her back, her name coming from the fact that she was the sixth foal of two mail carrier parents and because ‘after the first five, they were too lazy to think of another name,’ as she told the story.

“Certified Mail turned on? And by Derpy of all ponies?” Express Shipment scoffed as she worked on another outgoing mail pile, wondering what they were teaching in schools given she found a letter by a foal addressed to a griffon friend in “London, England.”

It’s called LOONDON, EAGLELAND! She rolled her eyes at the multiple misspellings. She found herself tempted to reject the letter for that alone, though she relented when she found that at least the postal code was correct. “That would be the day!”

“Well, do you have a better explanation?” Courier Six asked irritably as she dumped the next carton of small incoming mail items on the table in front of her and began sorting through them with her aura, not noticing Priority Parcel’s gaze fixed on her. “He probably got turned on and didn’t know how to deal with it, so he bolted.”

“You really think so?” Express Shipment asked dubiously.

“I do! I mean, think about it—why else would he just flee into the storm like that? He was probably showing and didn’t want us to see it!” she snickered as Priority Parcel shifted uncomfortably, his cheeks increasingly warm and having just enough restraint left to keep carefully out of sight behind his work table even as he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the pair, his eyes devouring them as his throbbing organ impossibly gained another inch of girth. “Lousy time for it, though. We’re now three down without him.”

“Make that four down. So where’s Owlia?” Express Shipment wondered aloud as thunder boomed again; the lights flickered and she swore for a moment she heard a raucous cry over its din. “There’s a G-E courier coming into Ponyville tonight, so we’ll need her for more than just sorting duties. And it’s not like her to be late, anyway.”

“So she probably already found Certified Mail and now she’s sleeping with him,” Priority Parcel snickered, amazed he could sound so calm even as his loins and aura felt increasingly ready to explode; it was all he could do not to pick the pair up bodily with his aura and pull them to him while bathing them in his mating magic. “Or who knows? Maybe our eagless friend is finding out what a real male is and getting drilled by some stud of a stallion.” To his surprise, he imagined it was him, leaving him briefly wondering if there was anypony he wouldn’t rut at that moment.

“Some stud like you?” Courier Six instantly picked up on the implication, rolling her eyes while Express Shipment just snorted. “You know how griffons rut, right, Priority Parcel? She’d tear you up in a mating round!”

“And since your fragile flank couldn’t even fight to begin with, she wouldn’t be turned on by you at all!” Express Shipment teased. “But then again, she’d hardly be alone in that—neither are we!” She exchanged a high hoof with Courier Six.

Priority Parcel smirked as the insult registered, more determined than ever to show the two mares how wrong they were by seducing them right then and there! “Now them’s fighting words! You know, I bet I could have you both begging for me in a matter of minutes.”

Courier Six and Express Shipment gave him a look of pure disdain. “You’re not the stud you think you are, Priority Parcel,” the former stated, having gotten well-used to his suggestive behavior and innuendoes long before, having politely tolerated them for his youth and usefulness in his job. “Just because you get a few desperate mares looking for suitable stallions doesn’t mean we’re your own personal breeding racks!”

He shortly took his flirtatious behavior to a whole different level, however, throwing caution and common sense completely to the wind. “Only because you haven’t tried me yet!” He stepped out behind his counter to show off his pride and joy in the form of his impressive nine inch erection, stretching out his hindquarters in display. “So step right up, fillies! We’ve got a few minutes before the boss comes back, so I’d be happy to do you both!”

They stared at him in disbelief, the pair instantly recognizing that it was very brazen behavior, even for him! “Put that away before C-M sees you, Priority Parcel,” Courier Six was annoyed while an unimpressed Express Shipment just rolled her eyes. “You’re not my type. Or even my preferred gender.”

“Oh, you think so? I’ll take that bet!” he offered eagerly, getting steadily bolder as he began stroking himself openly with his magic, even finally allowing his mating aura to ignite as the final threads of his badly frayed sense of restraint were snipped.

But a surprised Courier Six instantly blocked it with her own magic, shielding herself and Express Shipment from the effects. “Turn off the tuck light, Priority Parcel. I’m immune,” she announced in growing anger. “I don’t appreciate it. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you’re really starting to push it with me!”

“Oh yeah? And how do you know you aren’t into guys if you haven’t had them?” he tried again. “Don’t fight it, C-S. You know you want yourself some stallion.” his voice was half-boasting, half pleading as he found his normally-potent mating magic neutralized by the older and more magically experienced mare.

Courier Six exchanged another eyeroll with her earth pony friend, but then gave her fellow mare a wink as she got a very evil grin. “Well, I guess I can’t argue with your logic, double-P. So I tell you what: I’ll try a stallion—if you do as well!” She grinned evilly, causing his expression to instantly drop as the import of the statement registered.

“Wh-what?” he protested even as his aura suddenly intensified further and his erect organ stiffened further at the idea, causing him to gape at his own reaction.

A reaction that was not lost on Courier Six, who immediately and quite gleefully drove her horn deeper. “You heard me. And since you want me to be mounted by a stallion, it’s only fair that you get mounted by one first!”

“Seconded!” Express Shipment raised a hoof, greatly enjoying seeing Priority Parcel squirm. “I admit, I’d love to see your purple plot plugged by some ‘stud of a stallion’, Priority Parcel! In fact, I’d pay good bits to watch it!” She bared her teeth with her grin as she saw his cheeks flush further.

“N-now wait just a moon minute! I’m no colt-cuddler!” he stammered, trying desperately to suppress a sudden—and very visible—surge of his arousal and mating aura, finally retreating back behind the table to hide the hardness he was previously only too proud to show. He tried to shift his thoughts and fantasies back to mares but suddenly stallions were all he could think of.

“Could’ve fooled us!” Courier Six mocked with a nod at his brightly glowing horn while maintaining her own barrier against its effects, surprised at the younger stallion’s strength of aura but having no problem countering it. “Looks like somepony’s got a quiet case of the gay to me!”

“B-but…” For once, Priority Parcel was at a complete loss, sitting back to clutch his own head. Wh-where did this COME from? I’ve NEVER had a gay thought in my LIFE! It was only then he remembered flipping through a Playmare magazine once as a teen and slamming it shut when he got turned on; it had taken him weeks to stop dreaming about the chiseled and well-hung stallions he saw in it afterwards.

“He’s a cert, alright; definitely a full-blown shaft-sucker. I knew a few back in the day. So don’t fight it, double-P. You know you want yourself some stallion.” Express Shipment threw his own words back in his face.

“You said it, fillyfriend! But you know, if he is gonna get mounted, we should charge other mares for the show!” Courier Six suggested.

“Sh-show?” his stubborn stallionhood twitched even harder at the idea of being observed by all the ponies he had ever bedded.

“I like that! Considering how many mares he rutted and then jilted, I bet we’d make a mint! And don’t forget his muzzle!” Courier Six licked her lips lewdly at him. “I bet sucking on some juicy stallion shaft would shut up his boasting for a bit!”

“N-No!” he shouted even as his muzzle began to water and his hips bucked once, knocking over the table to reveal his enormous erection, at least two inches longer than previously.

“Ooo… look at that, C6—he wants it bad!” Express Shipment stepped forward for a closer look while Priority Parcel could only back into the corner, trapped by the two mares turning his own taunts and teases back on him.

“You got that right! He’s a Colt-Cuddler if I ever saw one!” Courier Six made a show of licking her muzzle and activating her own mating aura, though she kept it under control enough to prevent it from affecting her earth pony friend. She also materialized a magical construct to make a show of pleasuring herself to the idea, though she turned enough to keep her hindquarters out of sight of him, letting him guess what she was doing without directly seeing it, frustrating him further.

“Well, I guess you were right, double-P—you did turn me on!” she mocked as she began openly pleasuring herself. “You know, I’ve heard rumors about Thunderlane and Soarin! The Wonderbolts are scheduled for a show in Ponyville this weekend, so, should we schedule your tucking from them the evening after…?”

“Wha—? NO!”He flinched at the image of the two Wonderbolts mounting him from both ends as his erection impossibly got even larger for it, leaving him wondering if it would ever go down! “Okay, buck the both of you!” he announced haughtily even as his shaft drizzled steadily on the floor beneath him, preparing to storm out and head down the nearest pub even if it cost him his job.

“Only in your dreams, Parcel. Or are they filled with pony phalluses now?” A triumphant Courier Six landed the finishing blow.

Before the flustered and improbably aroused Priority Parcel could answer, there was another thunderous strike of lightning that shook the building, coincidental with a massive magical surge all present felt, causing the firegem lights to shatter throughout the post office and rain down from the ceiling on them with a series of sparks and crystal shards. The surge overwhelmed Courier Six’s shield and sent a pulse of sensual feedback down her horn, knocking her to the ground, leaving her feeling not unlike she’d just climaxed—hard!

“What the hay…?” Though lacking a horn, Express Shipment could feel the tingling aftereffects of the surge herself, leaving her feeling like she’d just shared somepony’s sexual pleasure. “That was mating magic! What did you do, double-P?” she demanded to know, suddenly and very strongly turned on despite all her best efforts, finding her thoughts turning quickly not to Priority Parcel or even her own stallion, but to Courier Six beside her!

“Nothing!” the sorely aroused unicorn stallion insisted through gritted teeth, now trying desperately to suppress the same-sex fantasies that were still clawing at him; his entire aura momentarily extinguished by the feedback of the massive magical surge. Worse, the disruption of his magic left him with no way to relieve his redoubled need for relief short of manual manipulation, which he wasn’t at all good at. “That wasn’t me!” he said as he found himself rolling over on his back to fumble at himself with his hooves.

“He’s not lying…” A shaky Courier Six confirmed in the dark as she tried to pull herself up on the table, only to falter again, falling to her side, resisting the fierce urge to dig a hoof into her marehood in the sudden absence of her own magic. “That wasn’t his magic! I don’t know of any unicorn who could climax so strongly—not even Princess Twilight!” She laid still, trying to gather herself, only to feel her entire body tingling fiercely with the caster’s residual pleasure.

“Whose, then?” a dazed Express Shipment asked, only to receive the answer in the form of a bright flash of light in the middle of the darkened room, causing them to look away. “Wha—?” she started to speak again as she blinked the spots in her vision away, only to be caught short by the sudden sight of three sets of glowing slitted cat-eyes, all staring hungrily at them, the powerful and predatory presences behind them freezing her words in her throat.

“So, I see you all are goofing off again…” Certified Mail’s ominous and unusually deep voice broke the darkened silence except for what sounded like the rippling of fabric and the licking of lips. “But maybe I’ve been working you too hard lately. It is Nightmare Night, after all. So I’ll be a kind boss for once—and throw you all an office party!”

With those words, he ignited his enormously powerful mating aura, causing their fur and flesh to burn with intense sensual fire.