"Anon-a-Miss" Kills Her Accusers
By Wanderer D
CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
ANON-A-MISS DAY 2
12:00 PM, HALLWAY
"I can't believe you would do this to us, Sunset!" Rarity said as she and the others confronted Sunset in front of her locker.
"But I didn't do it!" Sunset insisted. "Please, girls! You have to believe me!"
Watching from the sides, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle exchanged grinning glances. Things were going according to plan.
Their sisters just needed one more push...
CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
ANON-A-MISS DAY 3
11:45 AM, CAFETERIA
An unnatural silence had descended into the whole room, as every single student tensely checked their phones and glanced at each other, whispering and mumbling. They had all seen the video and pictures of Rarity's dresses. At their table, the Crusaders glanced at each other nervously.
"It's quiet," Apple Bloom whispered, not daring to break the mood by speaking in her normal, boisterous tone.
"Yeah…" Sweetie Belle muttered, eyes narrowing suspiciously as she carefully examined the other students. Predictably, the screens she could see from her angle were all in a certain fake account's page in MyStable. "A little too quiet."
"Yeah…" Apple Bloom agreed. She perked up when the doors opened and a pair of their victims walked in. "Hey, there's Applejack!"
"Yeah," Scootaloo hissed. "A little too Applejack."
Sweetie and Apple Bloom stared at her for a moment, about to speak up when Applejack slammed her tray on the table nearest to the windows, making the pie on it hover for a moment and the—thankfully closed—milk carton to fall on its side.
The whole cafeteria cringed. Applejack was emanating anger in an almost palpable aura.
Rarity, however, seemed unperturbed. "Darling, this is hardly the way to deal with this," she said, leaning in to straighten up the milk carton. "A response is necessary, of course, but there is little doubt as to who is responsible for this."
The air of anticipation in the cafeteria grew as several students casually tuned in to the conversation. Of course by now, most of them had taken the "clues" Apple Bloom and the others had "let slip" and they all "knew" Anon-a-Miss was none other than—
The doors to the cafeteria slammed open, and two figures stood in the doorway, glancing smugly at the gathered students. Then, the one that had kicked the door open centered her attention on Applejack and Rarity. She raised her hand and pointed a finger straight at Apple Bloom's sister.
"Hey," Sunset Shimmer growled, "bitch. You're sitting at my table."
The students gasped as Applejack stood tall, crossing her arms and resting one foot on the seat of the disputed furniture. "The hay you want, Shimmer? Ah told you this here territory ain't welcoming you and yer ilk anymore."
"She's quite right, peasant." Rarity sniffed and wrinkled her nose, as if disgusted by the smells around her. "We don't tolerate nasty rumor-mongering little beasts like yourself." She chuckled, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as she sneered at Sunset. "Once a quadruped, always a quadruped, I suppose. Shouldn't you be in the barn?"
The gathered students turned as one—from gaping at the pair—back to Sunset, who let the insult slide off of her with no outward indication of even feeling offended. "Oh, you can see me, Rarity?" she said, haughtily glancing back at the girl behind her with some amusement before looking again at them. "I thought certain requirements were to be met to be able to see a unicorn in this world," she drawled, "I'm sure it's just another disappointment for you. Given your efforts at school, I was almost certain to be invisible to you by now."
The cafeteria was quiet, save for a small cough from the food line.
"Supposedly," Gilda finally spoke up from behind Sunset, "you have to be a virgin to see a unicorn." When blank expressions were all that resulted from her observation, she sighed. "Basically, Sunset just called Rarity a slut."
A whispered "ooooh" was murmured through the room, along with knowing nods.
"That makes sense!" someone said just loud enough to be heard.
The four girls ignored whoever that was.
"Ah think the plan worked a lot better than we hoped!" Apple Bloom whispered excitedly to the others, who nodded eagerly.
"Anyway," Sunset said, brushing an imaginary speck from the shoulder of her jacket. "I have read your letter of challenge, Applejack, and I accept to duel you. Since you're so ready to die, Gilda has agreed to be my second."
"Wait, what duel?" Apple Bloom asked, worriedly.
Before anyone could answer, the other door to the cafeteria banged open and Rainbow Dash stepped into the room, followed by Fluttershy and a guitar riff. "There you are, you messed-up, sorry excuse for a horse!" she shouted at Sunset. "So you want knives after school? Fine! Knives after school it is!" She spit to the side, ignoring the "Hey!" from another student. "And four o'clock will work. Prepare to meet your maker, Shimmer!"
"I already know my maker, Dash," Sunset growled venomously. "Do you?"
Gilda sighed. "She just called Rainbow's mom a slut."
"Oooooh!" echoed through the cafeteria, along with knowing nods.
"Wait!" Pinkie shouted, emerging from the soup. More than one student looked down at their plate and slowly pushed it away. "You can't have a duel with Rainbow Dash at four!" she said, pointing an accusing finger at Sunset. "My duel with you is at two!"
"Wait, you challenged them to a duel?" Rarity asked. "But your duel with me is at noon!"
"Hold on," Sweetie shouted, "I think we're all missing an important part of all of this, what do you mean duel?!"
"Um… my duel with the heretical she-demon bitch from another dimension is at one," Fluttershy pointed out. "And I already have Harry and the others ready to carve your body into bloody chunks and feast on your innards like befits a parasite such as yourself," she added politely for Sunset's benefit.
The room sat in awe until Trixie spoke up. "So basically Fluttershy just called Sunset a slut."
Gilda glared at her. "That's not what she said."
Trixie huffed and crossed her arms. "Well, she should have."
There were murmurs from the other students, along with knowing nods.
Sunset gritted her teeth. "Anyway! It doesn't matter." She pointed at Rarity. "At noon I'll be done with you so quick that you won't even have time to understand how I even set you on fire." She smirked. "Forget the last part, with how you did on chemistry last term you wouldn't figure it out even if you were alive to think about it."
"Did she just call her a slut?" Snails asked.
"No, she called her 'dead and dumb'," Snips pointed out.
"Girls, this is getting out of control," Sweetie whispered feverishly. "I don't want my sister to die in flames!"
Sunset's finger went to Fluttershy. "As for you and your ragtag zoo, I guess you should feel fortunate that I bothered to learn how to skin them all properly. That way they'll keep some dignity after I'm done tearing them apart one by one with my own bare hands! And then I will shove your head into Harry's carcass."
"Did she just call Fluttershy and her animals sl—" Wallflower slapped Flash Sentry before he could say it.
"Since you're so obsessed about cupcakes, I'll make sure to turn you into one!" Sunset snarled to Pinkie, then turned to glare at Rainbow Dash.
"You think you can take us all, Anon-a-Miss?" Rainbow Dash teased, a fierce glint to her eyes.
"I've done it before, and you needed an interdimensional princess to come and save you," Sunset said with a shrug. "You don't have her now, and I know the exact spot in your chest where I can cut with my knife between your ribs and rip out your heart."
"Yeeah… this is starting to sound bad," Scootaloo admitted.
"Oh my gosh, Applejack is going to die and it's all my fault!" Apple Bloom hissed, turning to the others.
"Do you really think they'll do it?" Sweetie asked with a weak voice.
"Y'all seem to believe Principal Celestia will allow this all to happen," Applejack drawled, unaware of the three girl's growing panic.
Sunset smirked and crossed her arms. "She won't interfere. I challenged her for ownership of the school this morning." She shook her head. "She tried to say something before she died, but I'm not sure what it was." She shrugged. "I didn't have the time to listen."
"You foul beast!" Vice Principal Luna shouted, slamming the doors open and just missing Rainbow Dash. "I shall have your head! Morning-stars at midnight next to the statue! I shall find my second!"
And she was gone.
Everyone stared at the door before turning back to Applejack. She blinked in baffled confusion, and shook her head, returning her attention to the menace in the room. "Well, then Ah'll have to take care of you. Ah ain't gonna to use somethin' fancy like swords, or somethin' as quaint as knives. My ma and pa taught me to use shotguns, so that's what we'll do."
Sunset laughed. "They'd be picking pieces of your brain from the wall by the time I'm done with you, but I guess they'll have to do with the bone fragments."
"Sunset just called Applejack brainless," Gilda clarified for the cafeteria to many murmurs of acknowledgement and knowing nods.
Sunset checked her watch. "And what do you know?" she said, just as the bell rang. "It's noon."
Rarity burst into flames and collapsed on the table.
Several girls screeched while Applejack backpedalled in horror. At her table, Sweetie Belle fainted, her face landing with a loud 'plop' in her Pinkie Soup. Apple Bloom quickly pulled her face out.
"Out of the way! Out of the way!" Trixie shouted, throwing her cape over the burning body and patting it down to quench the flames. "Really, Sunset. Trixie knows you know better than to set the whole building on fire when disposing of your enemies!"
"Why?! Why would you do that?!" Scootaloo demanded.
Sunset smirked. "You humans are too used to empty threats, and I have treated you with as you say… gloves on… all this time. I think it's about right that I should show you how we fix things in Equestria. Rarity accused me of something I didn't do, and so did the others." Her brow darkened as she continued, "In Equestria we believe that somepony who denies their responsibility is doomed to a fate worse than hell. That is why I never outright denied anything I had done here. But now that I'm being framed…" She shrugged. "The only way to keep my honor is to kill anyone that would stain it." She glanced around. "Anyone else? It's a tight schedule, but this one—she motioned dismissively at the dead body under the cape—took far less effort than I anticipated. I'm sure I can accommodate you between now and butchering Fluttershy and her pets."
The room was silent.
"I… must make sure Harry and the others are ready to die—um… I mean… to fight," Fluttershy mumbled, running out of the room.
"Well then, I'll go meet with Fluttershy at our arranged place for combat."
The students watched Sunset walk out in silence.
"Alright everybody!" Granny Smith called. "It's time for class! Come on! Git! Trixie, you and Applejack can stay behind to clean up whatever it is that's under that cape."
"Ugh. Joy." Trixie shook her head with disgust.
CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
ANON-A-MISS DAY 3
1:15 PM, HISTORY CLASS
Cheerilee stopped writing on the blackboard when the door to the classroom opened and Sunset stepped in. She looked slightly disheveled and had a dead bird on her shoulder, which she flipped off to a trash can.
Cheerilee sighed. "Sunset, you're twenty minutes late! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"For being so big, Harry has surprisingly small orifices."
The students in class whimpered.
CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
ANON-A-MISS DAY 3
2:45 PM, LIBRARY
Maud Pie was eating a cupcake.
As much as Scootaloo wanted, she could not tear her eyes away from the delicious-looking muffin decorated with pink-colored icing. "Oh gods, she actually did it."
"What have we done? What have we done? What have we done? What have we done? What have we done?" Sweetie Belle repeated over and over, rocking back and forth where she lay in a fetal position on the floor.
"I mean… if we confess, we're going to be in so much trouble!" Scootaloo whispered.
"There's only two left!" Apple Bloom hissed. "Rainbow Dash will be dead in about an hour, and then my sister! And then Vice Principal Luna!"
"Can she really kill everyone, though?" Scootaloo asked. "Isn't that illegal?"
"She has weird magical powers and can escape into another dimension!" Apple Bloom insisted. "By the time the police got involved she'd be under the protection of—"
The school speaker system hissed into life.
"Hello, students. This is Sunset Shimmer, current overlord of Canterlot High as per rules of combat. Please be assured that as soon as I eliminate the last of the dissidents and we can put this whole 'Anon-a-Miss' thing behind us, we can continue with our otherwise uneventful lives. That is all."
"Come on," Apple Bloom said, standing up. "We need to stop them."
"How about we drop off Sweetie at the infirmary first?"
CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
ANON-A-MISS DAY 3
3:50 PM, PARKING LOT
"Come on, Rainbow Dash, please think about this," Scootaloo begged.
"No can do, Squirt," Rainbow replied, checking her switchblade. "A duel's a duel. You know the rules."
"No! I do not! Duels haven't happened for a long time! It's not something you get taught in school!"
Rainbow Dash blinked and looked at Scootaloo. "Huh. Maybe you'll learn it next year in Social Studies."
"Please, please, please don't do this!" Scootaloo insited. "It's not worth it for some stupid fake account!"
Rainbow Dash gave her a measuring glance before shrugging again. "Maybe, but until she confesses there is no point. Someone has to get the truth, and since the others failed, it falls on me and AJ." She sighed and chuckled. "She's so insistent I almost believe her. How funny is that?" She glanced at the clock. "I guess it's about time."
Scootaloo bit her lip and turned to see Apple Bloom running up to her. "Any luck?"
Apple Bloom shook her head. "Applejack has already cleaned and loaded Sarah Jane and has Big Mac as her second. They won't stop… Scootaloo, what are we going to do?"
The pair turned to watch as Sunset and Rainbow Dash started circling each other.
"The only thing we can do."
"Well then, Rainbow Dash," Sunset said, "I guess it's time for you to join the others."
"Whatever, Sunset," Rainbow Dash growled, "I will stop you even if I die in the process!"
Just as the pair were about to jump at each other, two young girls slid into place between them, blocking them from advancing.
"Stop!" Apple Bloom begged. "You don't have to do this!"
"Scootaloo, get out of the way," Rainbow Dash said.
"I have no quarrel with you, Apple Bloom," Sunset said, "just let me finish here and with Applejack later and you can be the older sister."
"It's all a misunderstanding!" Apple Bloom shouted.
"Uh… no it isn't," Sunset said. "Someone created that account, and the girls accused me of doing it. I'm not putting up with that BS after everything I've done in search for redemption, so I'll clean the slate and carry on with my life."
"Ah, shaddup, Anon-a-Miss!" Rainbow Dash called, pushing Scootaloo to the side. "We know it was you."
Sunset shrugged. "As I said—"
"But she's not!" Scootaloo snapped. "She's not Anon-a-Miss! We are!"
There was an awkward pause.
"What?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"We did it! We thought Sunset was taking our sisters away and now she's doing it for real!" Apple Bloom blabbered. "Permanently!"
Sunset and Rainbow Dash shared a look, then took the girls by the arm and guided them inside into the theatre room.
"So you mean to tell me," Sunset said once they were seated and facing them, "that I went on a killing spree for nothing?"
"And that I almost killed Sunset for what… because you were jealous?"
Sunset gave Rainbow Dash a look, but rather than argue, simply rolled her eyes. "And you watched all the accusations happen, all the trash being said to me by other students and didn't care?"
"And published stuff that affected all of my friends and myself for petty revenge?" Rainbow Dash asked.
The two girls nodded, sniffling.
The doors opened and Applejack stepped inside, pausing to take the scene before sighing. "So they finally confessed, huh?"
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stopped sniffling giving her a confused look.
"Wh-what?" Scootaloo stammered.
"You finally confessed," Applejack repeated, sitting down on one of the chairs. "We were wonderin' how many of us Sunset had to kill before y'all did."
"But—"
The girls were struggling to get their heads around that when the door opened and Sweetie Belle stepped in, looking down, and followed by Rarity.
Apple Bloom was on her feet in an instant. "Ah saw you die!"
"I'm happy to see you too," Rarity said, deadpan.
"But how?" Scootaloo asked, scooting aside to let Sweetie Belle sit down next to her. She absently noticed that Fluttershy had walked in too, followed by Pinkie Pie and Principal Celestia.
"Ah saw you were logged into the Anon-a-Miss profile on your phone two nights ago," Applejack said. "Ah brought it up to the others, and Rarity confirmed on her side that Sweetie's laptop was also logged in."
"And me?" Scootaloo asked.
"Face it, kiddo," Rainbow Dash sighed. "There's no way they'd do this without you, or you not knowing about it."
"So we planned something to make sure you'd learn your lesson," Sunset said, crossing her arms and glaring at the trio. "I got help from Gilda, and the rest of us then provided plenty of distractions for Trixie to replace Rarity with a mannequin while the real one sneaked out of the window." She smirked. "Everyone else I 'killed' out of sight."
"But how did you know that we would jump to stop you with the knife fight?" Apple Bloom asked.
Sunset grinned and Rainbow Dash sighed, giving her a twenty.
"We um, made bets on how long it would take you to break," Fluttershy explained, passing another bill to Sunset while the others did as well.
Apple Bloom shook her head. "So y'all mean to tell us that this was all to teach us a lesson?"
"If you stop to think about it," Sunset said, "you could have really hurt people with that account. I know how easy it is to obtain dirt on people… I expect it would have exploded out of control and then it wouldn't be just my friendship with your sisters that was affected."
Finally Sweetie looked up at Principal Celestia. "And you were okay with this?"
Celestia shrugged. "It's an important lesson, plus I like keeping my students on their toes."
"I do have to wonder," Rarity said after a pause. "Are you sure any of this was legal?"
Celestia scoffed. "Rarity, just about nothing in this school has been 'legal' since magic got involved with it."
All the girls pondered this fact.
"How long has the magical statue been out there?" Sunset asked.
Celestia smiled. "In any case, as amusing as this whole thing was, I can't still believe anyone bought the whole duel thing."
CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
ANON-A-MISS DAY 3
11:30 PM, ALICORN STATUE
Luna paced around the statue, keeping an eye out for her opponent. Next to her, Flash Sentry yawned. "I don't think she's coming."
"We shall wait until dawn!"
Flash shook his head and sat down on the floor, resting his back against the statue, and wondering why he had agreed to do this in the first place.
The End
Author's Note
Why? I have no idea. I just randomly felt like it.
