The Gourmet King

by Soul King Vulcar

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Equestria Girls, Profanity, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Other
Length: 3229

Want an explanation? Fine, guy buys things, merchant sends guy to equestria then guy is... king?

Alright. You want to know my story. It's a simple, yet confusing tale. But don't question everything bakas! I cosplay as oc. Brought things from displacer. Then I became ruler of Ponyland then Equestria. Gods, I hope my kids aren't being stubborn... Whelp. Enough chatting, let's feast!

Published 2020-02-27 09:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-17 21:06:00 UTC

Arrival and Return of The King

Author's Note

Okay. This is my second attempt of a story. If I did something wrong, didn't add anything, let me know but no hate. My mind tends to go a bit wild with ideas but I'm only Autistic and I tend to type the first thing on my mind. But I like to confuse people sometimes, letting you know readers. This will contain profaninty. Also randomness and forth wall breaks

Arrival and Return of The King

Mau’s POV:

Hey, I’m Mau. I know. It sounds like maw, as in the mouth, which doesn’t help with my hunger/fast metabolism. In fact, a couple of my friends suggest that I cosplay as my Gourmet oc from when I was introduced to a delicious anime called Toriko. So, here I am, at the biggest cosplay con ever. I did read into rumours of people disappearing after purchasing something from merchants. So, I’m curious if I should find out and occur the wrath of the ‘displacers.’ Eh, I’m going to do it but first, I need to find a food stand to order everything on their menu. Doesn’t help that my father is a hunter, yet an alcoholic, and my mother is a chef, yet not so athletic. Doesn’t help the fact that they look like Jiro and Setsuno...

Oh well. Hey look, food stands. I went to each one and brought everything after waiting for people to order what they want and I can tell that people was looking at me! I look up with tomato sauce covering my mouth, making it look like blood. I see that everyone backed up before people went closer and took pictures with me. I guess my costume was awesome. But I am missing something for my costume and it was an Appetite Demon. I wouldn’t care which one it was. If it was NEO or any Appetite Demon, I’ll be happy. I finished my meal with the same respect that Toriko gave his meals and went to find something for my costume.

That is when I encountered a merchant that looked like Uumen Umeda, the fucker who killed his fellow heads of IGO. I was looking at his merchandise, which was knocking rifles, kitchen knives, sharping boots and apron and a simple satchel. “I see you’re a gourmet hunter Mr. Acacia. Which of these merchandise interest you and your hunger?”

I immediately looked at him and grabbed each of the merch after paying him which I immediately noticed him pulling out a needle with something inside and shoves the content of the needle into my bloodstream as I was caught off guard and then next then I know? I’m in a middle of a battle between… ARE THOSE PONIES AND GROGAR!? Wait… Is this before Equestria? Whelp. Might have a positive effect on the land.

Which I, somehow, expertly pulled out the knocking rifles hard type and hit each part of Grogar’s body with the knocking rifles and I knocked, not the style, Grogar out although he got me with his magic which I suffered a lot of damage then in my pain-filled rage, I sent him into space, dunno where, and his bell in mountain where it’ll be forever and I immediately noticed the ponies bowing before me, calling me the ‘Raging/Feasting Beast King’ and I was confused why they called me that before the next thing I know? I was suddenly crowned king of the new united lands of Equestria.

I had a good thing here. A long life, good eatings, the first restaurant of Equestria, plenty of booze and what made me happier than anything I got was my children. You guessed it, father to Celestia, the oldest, the middle kid, Discord and the youngest’s, Luna, Scorpan and Tirek. I drilled my important lessons to them that they were to look after each other, never fight each other and most importantly, which my parents, which is when I actually noticed that they were Setsuno and Jiro in their youths, implanted into me which I did to my kids as well, always share a meal with someone. You’ll never know the lives you change.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. I know Tirek and Discord and Luna would listen to the whispers of Grogar, telling them something that they desired but that would be after I turn myself to stone cause I know that my body was dying but would be healed when I wake back up. So, I went for the Tree of Harmony and used the tree’s powers to turn me into stone.

Now, I wait. For the moment that the Elements of Harmony, the Main 6, would come to the tree in about… Three thousand or so years. I might as well know my Appetite Demons better. We do have a limitless amount of food in my soul.

Three Thousand or so years later

I was resting in my mind after that great training I had with my Appetites. Turns out I can use the attacks of the Appetites and combine some of them together. That’s when I noticed the stone casing on me was cracking and I busted through it. All hungry and ready for battle. I looked around and saw the chest was open and smirked that the Main 6 defeated Tirek when I heard my overconfident son laughing in cocky victory. Did I not teach him anything?!

I immediately ran to the source of the laughter when I saw him standing above the Main 6, Spike and Discord. I looked up at my son and opened my maw as I was preparing one of my new attacks.

Third POV

The group of ponies, dragon and spirit was hugging each other as Tirek was preparing a magical laser as they heard a voice from somewhere. “Hey… Get out of the way before you get hit by this.” The group, sides Discord, was confused who’s voice that was before Discord looked behind him and saw a man wearing a satchel, torn shirt with intact pants, a apron with knives inside the pocket and military style boots and he had a very tanned skin with scars covering his body indicating the battles he has been in but two scars and eye and hair colour got Discord’s attention was one side of his mouth was completely torn and his hair was silver with streaks of red, blue and black were going through it but the eyes caught Discord’s attention the most… The one eye was like an ghoul's eye (From Tokyo Ghoul) and the other eye was scarred up and stitched up. And one word caught everycreature’s attention.

“D-Dad!?” Which made Tirek stop in his firing as he look slightly up in fear as the ponies and dragon looked at the direction of the stranger as Mau was running to Tirek and jumped to his fully powered height and gets hit by Mau’s fist which he shouted. “Infinite Spiked Punch of Love!” Which Tirek gets shorter and weaker multiple times, as each many punches in that one punch hits Tirek until he was in his old frail form which Mau sends him off to Tartarus again. In doing so brought magic back to everypony while creating Twilight’s new shiny castle. Which the Tree teleported the group to the castle in a rainbow where the princesses were waiting but Celestia and Luna were surprised greatly to the point that they weren’t paying attention to the questioning Main 6.

Mau POV

I walked up to my baby girls and pulled out each one of their favourite meals from my restaurant, which is a triple layer, multiple chocolate flavoured, Lava Cake Supreme, and a honey pie with berry toppings. Three guesses for which one is for who. Prize is a all you can eat buffet meal at my Ten Stars restaurant. Now, don’t start typing your answers yet because I know you’re gonna guess. That’s right, I’m aware of the fourth wall and so is Pinkie Pie and Surprise Party, who were related. They were chilling with me before Tirek happened. Now my daughter’s attention is snapped to their favourite, still warm, desserts and immediately dug into them. Now, the questioning from Sparklebutt is gonna happen in three… two… one… And. “WHO THE HAY ARE YOU!!!!” Which the main 6 gets in battle position which I remembered that under my watch, ponies are a peaceful, yet ready for battle, species and I pulled a champagne bottle of a delicious cola called Mellow Cola. Pretty healthy since it’s an animal called a salamander sphinx’s tears. Do yourself a favour and do your research. Cause there’s gonna be a lot of animals from Toriko in here.

“Now, before we start the asking… Let’s start the eating!” I smile, although making those who aren’t used to my scars flinches and went to the kitchen immediately. I start cooking a village or two worth of food and places them in the eating room where the group was drooling at the unique foods in front of them. I smiled and let them pick their meals out and when they were done selecting the food they want, I started to thank nature for this bounty in Japanese and I immediately started digging in my meal. My kids were used to me eating a lot but the others, not so much. That’s when I noticed a Token on my empty plate and I grabbed it and placed it in my pocket so I can be prepared for what’s to come and that’s when I noticed the group looking at me, ready to ask, or fight, me.

“Alright, shy one, go.” I pointed at Fluttershy. “I was wondering, where you came from…” Of course, I immediately know what she asked. Thanks to my incredible hearing, I heard what she said and I think carefully of my answer. “I’m… from another planet.” Which isn’t exactly a lie and I can see Applejack looking at me as if she doesn’t trust me. As well as the R.D. and Rarity looks like they don’t trust me. The rest seemed friendly and my muscles were tensed to move out of the way, cause in a way, I have Spider Sense and that sense is telling me the three that doesn’t trust me is about to attack me and I guess my kids know me a lot because they got in the way of AJ, RD and Rarity.

“Applejack! Rainbow Dash! And Rarity, how dare you try to attack our father! He is the king of Equestria!” Woona used the Royale Voice that her mother taught her, that’s right her mother is my wife and we, somehow, had kids, don’t think too hard about it. The Main 6 looks at me and I smiled to say that I was the first and only king of, at least this, Equestria and I was proud of it. The three that didn’t like me immediately changed their mind and I remembered that I got my notes of displaced energy and I pulled it out and read the part on how to make a token and I pulled a huge piece of meat on a bone then started talking.

“I’m Mau, The Feasting King and Raging Lord! I’m good of heart and if ya want to fight or eat a meal together or just want to have a drink and chat then bite into the meat if you’re pure and receive pure bliss. But if ya bad then don’t bother cause I’ll eat your flesh if you summon me!” The meat shined then went through a tear in time and space then went back to me and I started eating my meat that teleported to me. I then went to the Castle of Everfree. I built that castle with my bare hands then it turns into a restaurant whenever me and Faust wants to cook for the hungry and poor. I prefer to rule with a kind heart, not with an iron fist.

I kicked the stump of the bridge which slowly turns the castle into a grand, fancy yet small, restaurant which I walked into it and starts making food for the wildlife. I wonder who is gonna get my token first. I hope they want to have a good meal, conversation or fight. I wait patiently and felt me about to be sent somewhere else. Good thing I left Pinkie a list of answers and I know Discord is gonna make fun of Tia's weight after eating my food.

Storytime 1

Alright. I guess I’m floating in some space. Might as well tell a story from my past. Let’s see… There was when I discovered Starswirl before he became famous for his magic and taught him Food Honour which helped him control his out of control magic. Or my first-time seeing Faust. Hmm… My love story it is!

I guess it was a year after my time as King, I keep getting a bevy of suitresses. I wasn’t interested in any of them but one did catch my eye, she was an alicorn and she had a mane that was red and non-flowing and same with her tail. Her cutie mark was a feather pen. I guess her talent is writing magic but I can tell that she is a warrior as well. My heart was beating like a bongo drum. Of course, I gave my suitresses tests. Each one had unique tests, each ending with their likes and dislikes and if theirs aren’t, at least, similar or doesn’t match mine, then they’re gone. And almost all of them didn’t match with mine so they were gone! But one suitress matched mine. And that was Faust. We… didn’t get along at first, because Faust was the first alicorn and she didn’t trust a giant hairless ape. Of course, when it came to our first date, I treated her a lot of delicious, veggie stuffed meals. Which I may or may not given us a love-binding fruit called ‘Loving Couprunes’. Yeah, the fruit is pretty much a forever love fruit. It’s like a love potion in a fruit, so give it to two people who hate each other’s guts, then badda bing, badda boom! In love. But it was an accident and I guess we were happy together and sure, we fought but not every couple are perfect.

But when we got married and had our honeymoon… Let’s just say I did not get any sleep, rest or breaks all four months… And yes, we did ‘that’ for all four months. Turns out that Alicorns have longer heat seasons then the average pony because they have all physical attributes. Meaning Faust had the stamina of each pony tribes. Such as the Earth Ponies’ land stamina, meaning when she is moving in one spot. The Pegasi’s moving speed, which we do ‘that’ all over the place… Then the unicorn’s curiosity… Last time I let her do something with my ‘man tunnel’! Then we went to our royal doctor, turned out her constant morning sickness was a sign of pregnancy. I didn’t know what was said next but I did pass out. I did wake up but if you could see my happiness, it would’ve been infectious cause I was filled with fatherly pride. BUT!!!! I did have to deal with 11 months of pregnancy… 11 MONTHS of strange cravings, mood swings and being careful to not make my wife feel useless as I did everything. But she didn’t mind me cooking for us and the subjects. Cause I prefer to rule with a kind heart. When she did go into labour, I was panicking like crazy as my wife was screaming in pain as my firstborn, although at the time, I didn’t know that, was coming out. I did hear her screaming threats regarding my ‘fun bags and one-eyed monster’ and the nurse, at the time, told me that every father went through the same thing. I pulled a branch of cigar tree and lit it so I can smoke my stress that something bad could happen to my darling snoopy-poo. That’s right, I call my wife my snoopy-poo, she calls me sweety-meat, ya got a problem with that?! Anyway after a few more hours, the doctor said I can come in now. I quickly sewed my still existing torn mouth scars, so I don’t scare my baby. And I completely taken care of my cigar branch and saw my wife holding my baby.

I walked silently to her and gently pulled the blanket revealing a baby unicorn with pink mane and tail. With arms as well? Seems like she is a centaur. I remember her opening her eyes and seeing me the first time, which she smiled at me with her adorable smile. I knew that fatherhood is gonna be rough… But I wouldn’t exchange that for anything else in the world. Well, I do know that I won’t have any sleep for the next few years or something like that. And with Luna and Discord’s births, I wasn’t prepared for the craziness of fatherhood. They have my appetite that for sure. I had to train Troll Kongs to aid me in the kitchen and I named the leader of the Troll Kongs Boss. He’s a Silverback. We’ve kept cooking for my hungry as Tartarus children. I’ve adapted to the ponie’s speech and now how my girls got their cutie marks and Discord got his chaos magic?

That’s a story for another time. Cause I can feel myself getting pulled out of the Void. Why am I hearing an echo of the Void? Damnit now I need to make a reference to DBZA. When I get back to my Equestria, I’ll say ‘FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS I’VE LAID DORMANT!!!! WHO HAS DISTURBED MY—Oh hey kids.’ I will laugh like hell when I see my subjects’ faces. I think I know who has what from me and Faust… Celestia has Faust’s love for cake while Discord has my passion to see any creature’s reaction and laugh at it. Whilst Luna has both mine and Faust love for games. I had my game consoles in my room when I wasn’t looking with my HD Flat screen Plasma TV. I was very rich cause my mom on Earth had a 5-star restaurant and I was her sous chef and I do the extremely hard cooking in my mama’s restaurant. Anyway, Faust and my kids asked me what the tech was when they saw it and I introduced them to one of my favourite games. Mario Party and they were hooked to it but we agreed that we have three game breaks every year, 24/7.

I slowly introduced them to more games and THEY GOT GAMERS’ RAGE!!!! I think they cussed multiple times when they died. But when they played Wolverine and Deadpool, they were obsessed with the op regenerating characters. In fact, they were begging that I have the unicorn scientists to make serums that give immortal-like regenerating to the consumer. I said no cause I demonstrated our regeneration but they were exploring multiple way to die but I disciplined them to not do any foolish things like that or be cocky. BEFORE YOU SAY CHILD ABUSE!!!! It was a 'fair but firm' moment.