The Succ

by totallynotabrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Shining Armor
Length: 1004

Shining Armor has a crush on the new girl at school. His little sister Twilight thinks there's something wrong with this newcomer.

Shining Armor has a crush on the new girl at school.

His little sister Twilight thinks there's something wrong with this newcomer.

Published 2020-02-27 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-27 01:50:02 UTC

Low Pressure

The pink alicorn got attention. She'd just moved to Canterlot, and was an instant celebrity around school.

This was not lost on young Twilight Sparkle, if only because it was not lost on her big-brother-best-friend-forever Shining Armor. The instant he laid eyes on the new filly, Cadance, there had been an immediate change in his attitude.

Twilight didn't like it one bit. There had to be something going on here. She was a bright young student and resolved to get to the bottom of it, setting off for the school library.

Unfortunately, the librarian was most unhelpful. "It's completely normal for young colts to be taken with young fillies."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's love, dear."

Twilight didn't buy it for a second.

She dug through dozens of books, trying to figure out what could possibly be causing her brother to make weird faces at the new girl. Love, as if! That was for old ponies.

Deep in a book of mythology, Twilight stumbled upon a terrifying creature: the succubus. A lascivious female feasting upon the life force of males, capable of forcing attraction to lure its targets closer.

Twilight looked up "lascivious." Gross!

Was this Cadance actually a succubus? Her supposed full name Mi Amore Cadenza did sound like it could be some sort of ancient language. Her cutie mark was a heart, like for love. She was an alicorn and who knew what they were capable of? Twilight always got a strange feeling when she thought about Princess Celestia.

Putting aside the possibility that the incumbent head of state was also a succubus for the moment, Twilight tried to decide what to do with this new information about Cadance. She needed to get her brother away, obviously.

Twilight knocked on his bedroom door one evening when they were both home from school. When Shining opened it, she said, "You should stop making those weird faces at that new girl!"

"Am I making weird faces?" Shining sounded worried. "How do I stop?"

"Stop looking at her!"

He chuckled. "Twily, one of these days you'll understand."

"That she's a monster? I already know!"

Still laughing, he shut the door.

Twilight should have known he was just going to be a dumb boy and not listen to her. Well fine, if he wasn't going to listen to her, she would have to take matters into her own hooves. She needed a plan.

Twilight borrowed a family photo and with some hasty editing managed to trim it down to just Shining's winking face. She quickly made up a batch of flyers to distribute around the school.

HEY LADIES

THIS IS A GOOD GUY

Twilight came to school early one morning and pasted them up in as many places as she could reach. Hopefully they were high enough that the fillies the same age as her brother would see them. She hated that this was her best plan, but some competition from other girls would drive Shining away from Cadance.

However, when Twilight checked back that afternoon, there were no traces of the fliers to be found. Somepony had taken them all down! Worse, when she encountered her brother in the hallway, he barely even noticed her, too engrossed in following Cadance around.

This was getting serious. Twilight needed to up her game. But what could she do next?

Unfortunately, the school library barely told her anything about succubi, and that didn't include how to deal with them. When she was able, Twilight went to the public library, but it wasn't exactly a haven for do-it-yourself banishment of lovesuckers. The closest she was able to get was Do-it-Yourself Sucking, and that was just a guide to repairing vacuum cleaners.

Still trying to figure out how to save her brother from the clutches of an evil teenager, Twilight tried to find some help. However, her parents reacted similarly to the way Shining had when she brought her concerns up to them. "One of these days you'll understand."

Oh, Twilight understood. Nopony was taking this seriously and saving the day was going to fall squarely on her own preteen withers.

She looked for help elsewhere, among her teachers, the elderly ponies at the park, and even among the shop class at school. During all the while, Shining seemed to only be getting closer to Cadance. She was drawing him in like a fish on a line and Twilight felt powerless to stop it. It was like an irresistible force, a pressure, a... Wait a moment...

Shining found Twilight out back of the school. She'd taken his favorite model train that morning and left a ransom note.

"What has gotten into you!?" Shining demanded. "Where is it?"

"Nuh uh," Twilight said. "You have to stay away from Cadance."

"You can't do that! In fact, I was going to tell you today that we're officially dating!"

Twilight's timing had been good, then. She didn't want to think about what might have happened if she let this continue even a little bit longer.

"Shiny?" called a voice. Cadance came outside, joining them. "Oh, is this your sister?"

In her presence, Twilight almost lost her nerve. The monster was right here!

"I was just having a discussion with her," said Shining, his voice turning almost syrupy sweet in Cadance's presence. He turned back to Twilight, expression hardening once more. "Now Twilight, where did you put it?"

"I...it's over here." Twilight gestured for Shining to follow. She didn't want to turn her back on Cadance, but played it cool. Just a little while longer.

Shining and Cadance followed Twilight over to the edge of the trees that surrounded the back yard of the school.

"You put it out here?" said Shining.

"Oh, I put something out here," said Twilight. She suddenly dove into a bush, yanking out a giant vacuum cleaner bigger than herself. The shop class had helped her build it, and she flipped on the switch.

"Who's sucking who now!?" Twilight shouted as the machine inhaled Cadance.