It was a bright and spirally day. The spirals were spiraling out of control and the spiral staircase was spiraling into madness.
Indeed, the world around Sunset Shimmer was filled with spirals. Even her dear friend Twilight Sparkle was a spiral. Or at least her hair was; it was a fashion catastrophe that could be mistaken for a war crime if you were Rarity. Luckily, she wasn’t here and the world was safe from a United Nations testimony from the queen of drama.
“So, how exactly did we end up in this predicament?” Sunset inquired, a pair of spiral glasses floating down onto her face. “Because I feel like I’m missing a lot of context for something that’s making me feel a considerable level of unease.”
“Ah, I’m so glad you would ask such a deep, introspective question,” Twilight responded. “You see, we are stuck in what’s known as—” Twilight grabbed Sunset’s glasses and threw them aside before grabbing her by the shoulders— “I have no idea and this is making me really scared!”
Sunset stared into her friend’s eyes. They were clearly filled with fear behind the spiral contact lenses that had formed in her eyes somewhere between five and six-hundred minutes ago. Such a large time frame made Sunset realize that she hadn’t eaten in a long time and that she hungered for McSpirals.
“And so anyways, Sunset, that is what’s going on.”
A spiral floated down to raise Sunset’s right eyebrow up into the air. “Wait, you were talking?”
Twilight’s cheeks formed blushes in the shape of spirals. “W-well.” She let out of a nervous giggle. “Yes, for the past twenty-seven minutes and thirty-two seconds, I have been talking about how we got here.”
Sunset’s mouth hung open, allowing a spiral to throw some water, tea, and copies of Apex Legends into her mouth. She immediately did an impromptu spit take that struck Twilight on the face. “Wait, I’ve been standing still for how long?”
A spiral hastened its way over to Twilight’s side and sprayed some Windex on her face before wiping it away. Meanwhile, a Nurse Spi R. Al applied a bandage to where the copies of the video game had hit her. Once the work was done and Twilight had paid the adequate amount to her spirally friends, she spoke up.
“Well,” she began, “I don’t know the exact amount of time, but I must say that you were standing there for a fair amount of time. All I had said was that we entered a mysterious door that appeared in your bedroom as we were watching the trailer for a movie called ‘Spiral: From The Book of Saw’.”
Sunset blinked and rubbed her chin. Her eyes eventually brightened up—no thanks to the spiral that held an industrial-sized lighting device above Sunset. “Oh yeah, that’s right! The movie with that guy who everyone hates.”
“You mean Chris Rock?” Twilight asked. “I ‘unno, I kinda like him.”
Sunset facepalmed. “Twi, he was on a show called ‘Everyone Hates Chris’.”
“Oh.” Twilight blushed, the spirally blush reappearing on cue with dashing style. “That’s right.”
Sunset simply stared in disbelief at Twilight’s inability to remember a television show that was on the air prior to her even being born. Though what was even more baffling than that pop culture reference was the spiral that her friend was gushing over.
“Oh my gosh, Sunset, it’s a spiral!”
This out of character cacophony resulted in Sunset staring blankly. It was a level of tomfoolery that was some style of spiral that defied the normativity of this world’s thesaurus. No amount of spiraling spiralized spiral… spiraltastic spiral could dare amend for this atrocity.
Then a cockroach with spirals on its body crawled out and fell into the middle of a spiral.
“Ew, gross.” Twilight took a step back. “I hate spiral bugs.”
Sunset sighed. “Okay, this is pointless.”
“Got that right,” Twilight replied.
“Yes…” Sunset rolled her eyes. “Anyways, what exactly happened after we entered the spiral in my bedroom?”
“We ended up here,” Twilight deadpanned. “Now we’re talking and there’s a spiral with a morning star chasing after a spiral with a jackrabbit on its head behind you.”
Sunset turned around, only to see nothing but spirals. She swung her head back and glowered at Twilight, who was giggling.
“Made you look.”
Sunset fell onto her back. “Why must you do this to me?”
“Because you’re likely asleep and I am a product of your imagination,” Twilight said. “Or maybe I’m slowly losing my mind because I can’t be asked to think of an answer to such a magnificently bizarre situation that we’ve found ourselves in.”
“Can you please be briefer with what you say?” Sunset asked. “It’s like you have a word quota on an essay and you’re pulling what Rainbow Dash does.”
A spiral descended from Heaven itself and raised both of Twilight’s eyebrows. “You mean pay me $25.00 to write it for her?”
A spiral arose from Hell itself and raised all three of Sunset’s eyebrows. “Wait, you write them?”
A spiral manifested from purgatory and did nothing. “Yes, I do,” Twilight said. “Problem with such a thing?”
Sunset shook her head. “If I’d known that, I would’ve had you write mine for me.”
“I would’ve done it for free!” Twilight said. “I just like the free money. It lets me buy books on Satanism!”
Sunset’s four eyebrows developed into eight eyebrows. “Wait, you study—”
“Hush, I have my interests that I don’t tell everyone about,” Twilight interjected, her eyes roving around. “Oh hey, there’s a bright spiral behind you.”
Sunset spiraled around. Sure enough, a spiral had manifested behind her. “Oh my gosh, maybe I can finally get out of this cesspool of a world!”
Twilight gulped. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Absolutely!” Sunset shouted as she bolted forward and jumped into the spiral. The world around her became as white as snow. The sound of clocks chiming filled the air. Squidward Tentacles appeared in front of her and then vanished. It was quite weird, but soothing all the same.
Then everything went black.
Sunset Shimmer awoke and groaned. The world was no longer filled with spirals. Instead, it was cubes. A lot of cubes. Like, holy smokes there were cubes everywhere.
“Hm, who’s talking?”
Oh no. She’s becoming self aware. Quick, end the story! End it!
“Wait, wh—”
