Broke

by TheCloppyComedian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Big Macintosh, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 2567

A certain dragon finds himself short on bits.

Spike has finally managed to score a date with the immeasurably beautiful Rarity. The problem? He has no money to take her out with! So he tries to go about town and find a solution, and runs into some old friends. Can they help him realize that the solution was inside himself all along?

Read and enjoy!

Published 2020-02-29 14:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-29 14:40:01 UTC

A Financial Problem

It was another glorious day in Ponyville. The birds were chirping their merry songs, and the sun blazed in all of its glory overhead. Cloudsdale had declared a sky devoid of any kind of grey, sad aesthetics. Yes, the entire world seemed at peace with itself, and considering the recent skirmishes along the border with Saddle Arabia, it was a welcome sight for everypony. Princess Twilight had outdone herself, making the sun seem brighter than it ever had before. Everyone was smiling, and nopony seemed to be having a bad day. Nopony…but a certain purple dragon.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Spike howled from his room in the Canterlot Castle, “IT’S TERRIBLE! IT’S AWFUL! TWILGHT, I NEED YOU!”

In an instant, his motherly figure teleported into his room. The burst of magic caused him to cough and wave it away, but the moment that she appeared before his eyes, he ran and embraced her. He began crying in a manner that she had never beheld before, so she immediately deduced that some terrifying event had befallen him. She took great compassion on her dragon, and sat him on the edge of his bed. She smiled and attempted to comfort him and to not allow his own insanity to invade her system. She knew how susceptible she was to such things, and she took great pains to avoid them. She had sworn off “Twilighting,” as her friends called it, for good.

“Calm down, Spike,” she said gently, “and tell me what’s wrong.”

“I have a date with Rarity!” He exclaimed in a panic.

Twilight was shocked. He hadn’t mentioned anything about acquiring an outing with the pretty fashionista. She knew for a fact…well, to be more direct, EVERYONE knew for a fact…that he had a massive amount of affection for her. It was often adorable to watch him follow her around like a little lost puppy, willing to do anything to sway her heart. But up to this point, she had been as difficult to get through as the cement that the builders in Manehattan were often up to their saddles in.

But all the same, Twilight was confused as to why getting something so precious would send her dragon into such a ridiculous frenzy. She softly rubbed his back, trying to mother him as she had done all of his life. Even though he wore the crown of the “Sibling Supreme,” and she and Shining Armor had accepted him as the brother they never had, she still felt like his caretaker. Her look was gentle and her tone was kind as she put forth an inquiry into the matter.

“Well, what’s wrong with that? I mean, you’ve wanted to take Rarity out for years, and now you finally have the chance. That should make you jump for joy-“

“I’m broke.”

Twilight’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head, and she thought she misheard him. So she dramatically removed some “earwax” and then asked him to repeat himself. When he reiterated his lack of finances, she became dutifully concerned. Like any mother, she was calm and collected throughout this exchange, with absolutely no leaning towards any radical show of emotion. She just sat there and attempted to survey the situation.

“You don’t have any bits?” She asked him, “none from your birthday?! Hearth’s Warming?! THE FESTIVAL OF THE TWO SISTERS?!”

Now it was Spike’s turn to be concerned. “Um…there’s no need to yell at me, Twilight. You aren’t the one who’s life is about to turn into a swirling mess of doom!”

“BUT YOURS IS!” Twilight yelled again, “oh…there must be something we can do! You can’t take Rarity out with no money! You couldn’t pay for anything…or worse, SHE’D have to pay! That’s not the gentle-dragon-ly thing to do!”

Twilight began hyperventilating excessively, and Spike took the occasion to yell at her that she needed to calm down. She yelled back at him and so on and so forth until the castle staff intervened. They managed to separate the two, who continued to yell at each other. Twilight was upset that Spike was going to embarrass himself, and Spike was upset that Twilight was upset. This led to a soup of general discontent the likes of which the staff had not seen since Luna and Celestia were in the middle of one of their quarrels.

“I’ll just have to get a job!” Spike exclaimed as he came to his senses.

“FOR ONE DAY?!” Twilight shrieked, “I MEAN, COME ON! THE COMPLETE AND UTTER ASININITY OF THAT PROPOSAL IS JUST…UGH!”

“Your Majesty,” Spiffy Sweep, the chief of staff, said, “far be it from me to command you to do anything, but you simply must control yourself! I don’t know what has gotten into you, but this is not the Princess I know.”

“It’s the Twilight I know…” Spike muttered.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” Twilight thundered, “I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU, AND YOU’RE MAKING SNIDE REMARKS TOWARDS ME?!”

Spike swore he saw fire being breathed from his adopted mother/sister’s nostrils, and he instinctively took a step back. Being a dragon, he knew a thing or two about an open flame, and he wanted no part of it. Sometimes Twilight’s flares could be worse than his bigger cousins. Still, though, he tried to look brave in the face of somepony who was well known throughout their acquaintances for going off on these crazed tangents. She seemed to have his best interests at heart, although the way she was going about it was all wrong.

“I’m sorry, Twilight!” The dragon said, “but the only thing I can do is go out and find somepony who’ll pay me to do something for them for one day!”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

“Watch me,” the dragon said before running from the room, determined to find someone that would pay him something for one day’s work. The task seemed impossible, the odds, insurmountable, but he knew he had to try. He also knew he had to get away from the beast that had suddenly invaded his bedroom.

“You don’t have anything I can do, Mr. Tiller?” Spike asked the local garden shop owner. He knew that this was the best place in Canterlot to begin looking for a one-day occupation. Mr. Tiller was often in the business of hiring small part-time help, but it seemed that all of his slots had been filled for the time being. Tiller was also known for his kindness, and he gave the dragon a sympathetic look.

“Sorry, Spike,” he said, “I’ve got all the help I need for the day.”

“Drat,” Spike muttered.

Tiller smiled. “Ah, young love,” he said, “I remember when I was a quaint young colt, and I spied this small filly that I just adored. She was pink, with green eyes, and the sweetest smile!”

Spike returned the smile as he heard the description of what he assumed was Mr. Tiller’s wife. After all, Mrs. Tiller was well known for her bright pink coat and adoring green gaze. She was also well versed in the art of friendship, and was rather popular around town. It would have been easy for any stallion to fall in love with somepony containing her social stability and graces.

“Mrs. Tiller was that wonderful, huh, Mr. Tiller?” Spike asked.

“Who? My wife? Oh, no, this was Rose Thorn,” Mr. Tiller said, “and she became the biggest bully this side of Queen Chrysalis!”

Spike blushed, embarrassed at having brought up such a disturbing event in Tiller’s past. But the garden shop owner remained kind throughout their conversation, even though he had nothing for Spike to do. So the dragon bade him farewell and walked off towards another of his potential targets: Rarity’s own Canterlot Carousel boutique! He was sure that Sassy Saddles, the manager, would have some boxes he could shelve for a few extra bits.

Upon arriving, though, he found the doors locked tight. The lights were all out, and the only visible things were the beautiful outfits adorning the mannequins in the windows. He stared at the sheer magnificence of them all and thought of his beloved Rarity, alone back in Ponyville. He knew she would be coming on the 12:00 train, and that she would be expecting something grand for their date. His mind ran through scenario after scenario where she would turn her rump on him and huff in disappointment.

“I can’t let her down!” He said out loud.

“Let who down, sugar cube?” A country voice drawled from behind him.

He turned and nearly let out a cry of joy at seeing Applejack and Big Mac standing there. Of course! Surely, they would have a small task he could accomplish for some extra money. He had completely forgotten about their recent announcement that they would be visiting Canterlot for a few days. They were finalizing a deal that they had cut with Flim and Flam of all ponies. It seemed that the two entities had moved past their little battle over Sweet Apple Acres, and the brothers were running an honest shop in Canterlot.

“Uh…Spike?” Applejack asked, noting the seemingly dazed state that Twilight’s assistant was in, “anyone home? Partner? Little buddy? Twilight’s favorite dragon?”

Spike shook his head and cleared the cobwebs. “Sorry, AJ, but I’m in a terrible mess.”

“What kinda mess, and who the heck are ya gonna disappoint so badly?”

Spike blushed deeply. “See, I have a date with Rarity tonight, and…”

Applejack and Big Mac both smiled, and bent down to hug the dragon. “My stars,” AJ said, “imagine y’all havin’ a date. I mean, we all knew of yer closeness, but we never dreamed that it’d blossom into romance. I must say I’m right proud of ya. Now, then, why would ya be a-disappointin’ her?”

“Well…see…I’m flat out broke,” Spike confessed, “I have absolutely zero bits to be able to treat her to anything with, and if I don’t have anything…I might as well just give up. I mean, come on! A date with no money? What kind of mare wants that?”

Applejack and Big Mac shared another smile, and surprisingly, it was the normally quiet stallion who offered a solution. “I remember when I was just startin’ to date Sugar Belle. She was the most amazin’ thing that ever did befall me, and I was the luckiest pony in Equestria. We had just left the farm for a night on the town, when I realized that I was flat out broke. I was so embarrassed and humiliated that I didn’t know what to do. Fortunately, Sugar’s love for me broke through, and we returned to the farm. We made dinner together, ate together, and then just sat on the porch and looked at the stars…and do you know what?”

“What?” Spike asked.

“It was the most beautiful thing any of us had ever experienced.”

Spike looked confused. While Big Mac’s story was wonderful to hear, it just didn’t seem to fit his situation. Sugar Belle was a simple pony who took a liking to the less stressful, more wholesome things in life. Rarity was completely the opposite! Rarity liked the fanciful and frou-frou. She was into the popular and chic. Big Mac’s solution might have worked for Sugar Belle, but it wouldn’t work for Rarity. She would expect some big to-do with a dinner at a three-hoof restaurant and then a three-hour long romantic movie afterwards.

“I think what Big Mac’s tryin’ to say,” Applejack said, “is that bein’ yerself is just about the best thing you can be.”

“But Rarity won’t want that!” Spike exclaimed in a panic, “she’s gonna want something huge and over extravagant and expensive, and I have to give it to her! If I don’t, she’ll never wanna go out with me again!”

Applejack and Big Mac looked at each other and sighed. It seemed that Spike wasn’t getting their message, and that worried them. Yes, Rarity was a pony who concerned herself with the elegant and popular, but she was also concerned with gaining good friendships and helping ponies reveal their true selves. The heart was more important than the superficial, even to a beautiful pony like Rarity. It was true that sometimes she went overboard with her love of fashion, but she always reigned herself in. Now it was time for Spike to learn to do the same.

“Look, sugar cube,” Applejack said, “I don’t think Rarity would want all this fuss bein’ made about her.”

“Fuss being made about who, darling?” An accented voice sounded from behind them.

Spike jumped and turned to stare into the blue eyes of his beloved Rarity. She blinked down at him and smiled. “Spikey!” She cried, grasping him in a hug, “oh, darling, it’s been much too long! How I’ve missed you!”

Spike was terrified, but went along with her greeting. “I’ve…um…missed you too.”

“Thank you ever so much for offering to take me out tonight. I’m sure it will be positively divine!”

Her smile was as radiant as ever. Her eyes bloomed like flowers. Her mane was perfectly quaffed, and her tail expertly curled. Even her cutie mark seemed to shine brighter than ever before. All of these things made Spike incredibly nervous. How could he tell her that he didn’t have the bits to be able to take her out that night? He just couldn’t disappoint her, not after working so hard to try and make a great romantic impression on her.

He looked back at Applejack and Big Mac, who smiled and seemed to nod collectively. It was odd seeing both of their heads bounce up and down at the same time, but it also showed just how close they were as siblings. They could read each other like books, and it was no different for anyone else in the Apple Family. Spike had understood their point fully, but he still found it difficult to tell Rarity the truth.

He turned back to her. “Rare,” he said, “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but…I woke up this morning and…found out that I was broke. I have no money to be able to take you out tonight. If you’re disappointed or wanna cancel the date, I completely understand. No mare wants her stallion…or dragon…to be financially underwhelming.”

To his surprise, she bent down and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh, Spike,” she said, “I never wanted this to be about how much money you have. I just wanted to spend time with you!”

“You did?”

Rarity nodded cutely. “Absolutely, darling! You’re the entire reason I’ve made this trip to Canterlot, so don’t think for one second that I’m cancelling our evening. We’ll just have to find other things to do!”

“Well…would dinner in the castle, and then a walk around the garden be nice?”

“Darling, it sounds heavenly,” Rarity responded.

With that, the two trotted off happily. There seemed to be an aura of love around them that would have impressed anypony. It didn’t matter what their financial situation was, they were just happy to be together. The entire exchange had taken such little time, but had left such a lasting impact. The two had left Big Mac and Applejack standing staring, and AJ noticed that her brother’s eyes had grown misty. She giggled and winked at him. “Remind ya of anything in partic’lar, Big Mac?”

“Yep!” Big Mac responded.