Fallout Equestria: 21st Century Breakdown

by Qibli2

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Fallout, Profanity, Gore, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zebra, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Narcotics, Main 6, Romance, Original Character
Length: 4683

Celestian is a Working Class pony who really hates his job. However, when he hears news on the radio that there’s a war, he decides to sign up.

Celestian is a normal pony, too normal. He’s stuck in a dead-end Working Class job, and he isn’t going anywhere. Then, as he’s listening to the radio, he hears news that changes his life.

There’s a war going on with the zebras. Celestian, hearing this, decides that he should sign up. If this goes well, he’ll be able to take out his mutual hatred of the zebras, be able to stage a coup, and fight for the Working Class.

((Set during the FO:E war, first person, and loosely based around 21st Century Breakdown))

((Thanks to Kkat for writing Fallout: Equestria in the first place!))

Published 2020-03-05 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-05 23:30:01 UTC

Prologue

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 1: The Xenophobic War

A few years later…

This is Athen from WXPG, Radio Pegasus, and you just heard Parsley with his sensational cover of Jailhouse Rock. I always love the good Rock tunes, so, I keep them in. Old music is pretty cool too, as they were always a blast to drum to when playing live. So anyways, I’ve got some news that a burly stallion dropped by the station. This is a bit unorthodox for me, I know. However, he requested me to read it, and I’m not going to argue with him. Not when he could easily take me in a fight at least, you need a radio station, after all.

So, the news is as follows; princesses Celestia and Luna have decided to declare war on the zebras. After years of mutual distrust, they decided that it was all or nothing I guess. They didn’t say why they started the war, but in my years of DJing as a side gig here. I can simply say that one thing is certain. War, well, war never changes, and I don’t think this war is going to be different. Prepare for the worst guys, because I’m certain the worst will happen. However, we have one silver lining to make this marginally better, the princesses are taking volunteers. Technicians, soldiers, anything to make this war go faster. Please sign up and end this quicker.

While I don’t have it on the station rotation, I have a song with me that eerily supports my point. Here’s One by Metallicolt, and let’s hope that we come out of this impromptu war with all four limbs attached. I sincerely hope that the station survives this.

I wake up again, still stuck in this dead-end job, and still dreaming every day to change the world. My house reflects my pay. It’s a small run-down house at the edge of some ghetto. I open a Sparkle-Cola, drinking down the strange drink. I probably shouldn’t be drinking things that a company swimming in bits makes, but I’m not rich enough to afford anything else. I’m as ready as usual for my stupid job. No one works with me, so I don’t see any reason to make myself look nice. I hardly even meet with the employer, I’m just alone, in a dark room, filing paperwork for whatever the princesses are doing next.

I start a trot to my shack, which nopony has bothered to make look like anything but what they think I deserve. However, there’s a little something different about this trot. Nopony is out, and a general sense of doom overcasts the streets.

I know that I generally work at night. However, I can usually see a drunken pony or two stumbling about the streets. I’d try drinking, but that costs bits, bits I do not have.

Reaching my shack with this same sense of doom still lurking about, I trot on in and waste no time turning on the radio. Radio Pegasus is already set. So, I listen intently to at least attempt to see what the lack of any response outside is about. When the song ends, I hear an audibly tired Athen giving out some news. His news is usually very odd, and there’s usually very little of it, so this must be serious. He clearly sounds like he’s been giving out this news incessantly for the last day.

He mentions some stuff about a war being waged between ponies and zebras, while I do hate zebras, I couldn’t care less. I’m never getting out of here. I won’t be able to make a serious difference. Then, he mentions that they’re taking volunteers. This perks me up, I might be able to start a revolution! I just need to get into the military, but he doesn’t state where to sign up.

I turn the dial, Diamond City, DJPon3, they are all mentioning a war and being able to sign up, but not where.

I ponder this a moment, to take down the corporations and the zebras, I’ll have to sign up. Gain their trust. However, they certainly won’t be taking soldiers in my little slice of hell. Then, it hits me. I’ve heard talks about the Elements of Harmony over the air. If the princesses are going to give us a place to sign up, it’d be in Ponyville.

However, Ponyville is far away. While I could probably get a train ticket, I don’t have the bits for it because of this shitty job. So, I turn off the radio, grab the meager amount of bits I have, and set off.

Ten bits. Ten bucking bits. That was all I found in my shack. That's hardly enough to buy a week’s worth of food! All the more reason to fight the big corporations. I’m currently taking a long trot to Ponyville. I don’t have any weapons, but it’s not like anything wants to kill me. However, it’s a several days’ trot from my location to Ponyville. I’m currently leaving my city. I live in Manehatten, for those wondering. The outskirts, at least.

Or well, I did. I’m never going to Manehatten again. I left the papers for the higher-ups to deal with. They can do what they’ve rescinded me to doing for years.

The way to Ponyville is going to be pretty boring. Taking a long hike, 8:00 PM at night. To be fair, it did fit in with the overarching sense of doom that’s covering everything tonight. I sure hope I'll get there in time.

Expecting nothing to happen during my long walk, I was prepared to just set myself on autopilot. Then, I hear a quiet sobbing from some ditch beside me. I turn and look into it, covered in mud and grime, sobbing, is possibly the most beautiful filly I’ve ever seen.

Her long mane, with sticks and stones in it, covers one eye. Though it’s hard to tell this late, she appears to be a beautiful green color. There's a path under her eyes of light green, places where the tears washed off the dirt. Her mane has more of a forest green tint, but it’s a little hard to tell. I’m truly not sure if it’s coated in dirt and is usually a lighter green. The little glimpses of her teary eyes I can catch have swelled up through crying, but are also a beautiful baby blue. Her tail is bedraggled and has clearly not been brushed in a while, much like my mane. Notably, she also appears to be an earth pony with a match as a cutie mark.

Feeling some strange concern. I look into her eyes,”Who are you, and what are you doing here?” I say, no more aggression creeping into my voice than usual. Being pent up and about ready to kill every large corporation always makes me sound like a bitch.

Her hoarse voice escapes her, choking on tears,”L-leave me alone! Y-y-you’re just here to take me away and f-f-force me to work for you! I just know it!”

That doesn’t make me happy.”I’m not here to take you away! If I had my way the entire system would go down! All I want is your name and what you’re doing here!”

She looks at me aggressively, and I return the look in favor. Eventually, we both calm down,”Look,” she says, evenly, in a strikingly melodic voice that seems to be how she usually talks,”If it’ll get it done any faster. I’m Glory. I was—” she starts sobbing a little again,”I was a worker for a nice place. Then, the higher-ups heard the news and essentially fired half their staff, m-m-me included. I ran to this ditch, and I’ve been crying here since. I’m worried that some corporation will come up to me and force me away from the nice job I had. Now, will you explain your name and what you’re doing here?”

Feeling a little aggression disappear, I say,”I’m heading off to Ponyville to sign up for the army.”

“Won’t that benefit the corporations?” Glory asks, skeptically.

“No, because I have a plan to win their trust and then overthrow them and the zebras too,” I clarify.

“What’s your name?” she asks.

I don’t want to share my birth name with a beautiful filly I just met. There’s a dreaded silence in the air, me realizing that I’ll have to share my name and Glory waiting patiently for it. After the silence becomes a bit too much to bear, I come up with a different idea.

“My name, I’m, well, my name is War Hawk. Would you like to come with me?”

Glory nods. I don’t know why, but I’m happy I have somepony to help at least.

.

So, it turns out that my little walk is going to be slightly more eventful than I thought. I now have a filly walking beside me. A beautiful filly.

Anyways, as far as my new companion is concerned, I am not Celestian, I am War Hawk, and that makes everything instantly better. Glory is matching my strides, which is impressive, as she’s a head shorter than me. I was planning on just walking throughout the night. I had gotten up just a couple hours ago, but I can tell that Glory is very tired.

“War Hawk,” she says,”do we have to walk throughout the night?”

“I told you, I am, I woke up just a couple hours ago,” I reiterate. Glory’s a bit of a handful. However, we met about an hour ago, so I can't really expect too much.

Glory sighs again. I wonder how long we’ve been walking, but I suppose time will pass however it does. “Look, Glory,” I say,”even if I was tired enough to sleep, I have no tent, sleeping bag, and am flat broke. I have 10 bits, no thanks to the horrible job I was working a few days ago.”

Glory slowly looks up to me,”I have bits, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough for a room.”

“In addition,” I add,”we don’t even know if there’s an inn on the way to Ponyville. The last time I checked, there weren’t exactly any major cities on this path.”

A moment of silence passes, and I finally hope that Glory is finally done asking if we’re going to sleep, when she speaks up yet again.

“Canterlot!”

I look at her like she just said insanity, in my eyes, she kind of did. “Canterlot?” I say,”That’s not on the way to Ponyville.”

“It’s not, but we’ll have to realign to avoid the mountains in the way. Canterlot is the most logical place to stop on our way to Ponyville.”

Admittedly, she was right. Thinking about it, I realize that they’ll probably be taking registrations in Canterlot, too. After all, the princesses operate there.

“Fine,” I say,”but I don’t want to hear you ask if we’re sleeping soon again. Not until we get to Canterlot.”

Glory nods again.

Continuing to walk with my very tired companion to Canterlot. I have no idea how long we’ve been walking, I can only make out that my hooves hurt rather substantially. Glory seems to be in a similar pain, given that for the first time since I can remember on this walk, her face betrays something other than tiredness. She looks like she’s visibly wincing as well.

From my observations, since I don’t have a watch or anything and don’t much care for what time it is. It appears to be the Wolf Hour. That hour where it’s always the darkest. I can hardly see my companion next to me. Audible yawns are really the only thing assuring me of Glory’s position next to me. I may be a night owl, but that does not mean I have automatic night vision.

If I had to wager, I’d say that we are about halfway to Canterlot. We’d crossed a valley railroad track a while back, which Glory had assured me meant we were going the right direction.

Glory hasn’t said or done much, so my walk is still pretty boring. However, I know we will get to Canterlot, and I can start thinking up my master plan. However, Glory has hardly said a word in the time we’ve been traveling together. Trying to make something out of this monotonous night, I say a single phrase that breaks the silence of the Wolf Hour.

“Glory, what do you like?” I ask.

Glory finally wakes from her stupor and says,”No, I’ll share mine only if you go first.”

Mad, but realizing it won’t hurt anypony, I say,”Fine, I like doing stuff with my time, Radio Pegasus, and generally anything I’m not doing right now. You go.”

Awkwardness. Then Glory finally realizes that she should probably reply to my invitation.”Well,” she says,”I like reading, fighting for a noble cause, and flying— or I used to.”

Sensing something is up, I say,”You used to like flying? You travelled with me with hardly any resistance? I think there’s a bit of your story that you aren’t sharing. Tell me, now.”

Glory glares at me with a stare that could cause most other ponies to stand down. However, I stand tall, because I want my answers. I glare right back. We reach a standoff until Glory finally gives in.

“If you’re so desperate to know, while it’s true that I got fired yesterday, there are some parts of the story that I didn’t share. For example, I was sold to a slippery group that Celestia hasn’t caught yet. It was all to make a quick buck. You said that you wanted to bring down the system, so I followed you. Celestia hasn’t exactly hit my good graces yet. Since you’re not pulling any punches, I won’t either. You don’t look particularly intelligent. I also came with you because I knew that you would probably do something very rash if I’m not there. So, I followed you to keep you grounded! In any matter, when I opposed one of those slavers’ policies, they cut my wings off and brought me down. I was able to get hired somehow and make a living off of the job I told you about.”

There’s a long and tentative silence, and I grow angrier.

“I’m killing them,” I mutter. “I’ll kill them all.”

Glory looks at me like I just grew a pair of wings,”That shouldn’t be necessary, they weren’t all bad. A couple of them actually treated me like their equal. You won’t have to kill them all—“

“No,” I growl,”they dared to cut off your wings for opposition. They took you anyways. Whoever dares to hurt the prettiest mare I know, deserves to die, even by association. Mark my words, when I learn to cloudwalk, I’m killing them.”

Glory’s face goes through a parade of emotions. She decides to settle on a strange mixture of shock and indifference. “Nice to see that you brought me along because I’m pretty.”

Realizing what I just said, I say,”Didn’t mean to share that. I do like your morals, though. I promise, I’ll fight the zebras and try to take down the system. I’m not lying about killing those slavers though.”

Glory decides to let me be and not press any further. She clearly thinks that my morality is hanging on a wire. I don’t think it is. I’m just lashing out and defending anypony against those who dare to harm them.

It’s been a while. Feeling that we’d let the conversation die regardless, me and Glory agreed to silently kill the conversation. It’s about dawn now, and I think we’re about three-fourths of the way to Canterlot. I turn over to Glory to finally see her in the daytime light.

Well, she’s about as pretty as I thought she was. She’s clearly tired, and bags rest under her eyes. Taking a look at her wings, I notice two stumps where wings should be. I let out a sharp exhale, and Glory takes a look at me. She’s checking out my flank when she appears to go into shock.

“Glory, you aren’t that tired are you?” I ask. She doesn’t respond. I mean, I don’t mind her checking me out, but I didn’t think I was so attractive that I’d render a mare speechless.

I pick a leaf off a nearby tree with my magic and wave it in front of her. She regains her focus.

“Where’s your cutie mark?” she asks.

I frown,”Oh yeah, that. Well, let me just say that it’s nearly impossible to find your special talent when you have to do the exact same thing every single night.”

“There’s no way—“

“A stallion as old as me should have no cutie mark? Well, those only pop up when you actually find stuff you want to do.”

“Like me?” Glory snarks.

“In a talent sense,” I retort. “I haven’t found out what I’m good at because the businesses never gave me a chance to.”

The conversation ends there. However, I notice something in the distance.

“I think we’re getting close to Canterlot, Glory,” I say.

Glory wearily raises her head. She notices Canterlot in the distance. “So, War Hawk,” she says,”where are we staying?”

“Somewhere close to the outskirts, no doubt.”

Finally approaching Canterlot, after a long night and morning walking, I’m with my companion. I’m about ready to collapse. My legs hurt, and while I’m not tired, Glory looks like she’s been run ragged. Even more than she looked last night in the ditch.

There appears to be a convenient inn near the outskirts. However, Glory noticed it far before I did and essentially dragged me there. I enter the inn with Glory, and feel a dozen pairs of eyes focusing on me.

I can’t exactly blame the ponies here. After all, me and Glory probably look like we’ve been through Tartarus and back. Glory’s mane has sticks and stones in it, she’s scuffed up, we both are visibly exhausted, and my mane is groomed as carelessly as usual, as in I didn’t groom it at all.

We walk up to the innkeeper, or well, I walk and Glory stumbles. I look him square in the eyes and ask,”What’s the running rate for a room?”

“20 bits a night, but since ya look like ya trotted from Manehatten on foot, you couple can have the room for 15. Sound good?” the innkeeper says in a gruff voice.

I take a breath, I don’t have the kind of money on me. Glory probably does, but I’m not going to ask her for a loan when she looks about ready to fall asleep. So, I decide that reasonably, I could probably talk my way down. If I could convince Glory to talk about her past, I could bargain.

“15 bits? Surely, that’s not the best you can do.” I say, my voice dripping with and accusatory tone.”After all, we did just trot from Manehatten on foot. Let’s see, you can do 7 or 8, right?” I say.

“Well, I can be assured ya won’t do any naughty business, since that green one looks like she won’t stay up another minute. I’ll give you a discount. 10 bits for the both of ya,” the innkeeper says.

“You can’t go any lower?” I ask, threateningly.

“No, 10 bits, pay up before I change my mind.”

Admitting defeat, I pay him all of my bits.

“Nice doing business with ya,” he says,”first room on the right. Keep it clean.”

Walking down the hallway with nice cedar flooring, I enter the first room on the right with Glory. It’s nothing but a moderate hotel room. I decide not to ask Glory why she didn’t reply to what the innkeeper said. About ‘naughty business’ and whatnot, as she’s probably too tired to say anything right now.

Glory immediately jumps into a bed, if a bit stagnantly, and she passes out a few seconds later.

I take the bed beside hers. I know that if Glory were to wake up beside me, she would probably kill me. I was stuck here until morning, so I better use it wisely.

I wake up the next morning, totally forgetting about using the time wisely, and shake Glory awake as well. She looks much better today. However, we’d still receive looks in the upper-class Canterlot.

“Pull that shit out of your mane,” I say. ”We need to look presentable for when I sign up to fight the zebras.” I turn on the radio in the room and set it to Radio Pegasus. Athen is still giving the same news he was yesterday, which is a good sign. There’s probably still room for volunteers.

The radio simply serving as background noise, I walk into the room’s attached bathroom. For the first time in who-knows-how-long, I take a brush and attempt to work all the kinks out of my mane. It’s hard and strenuous work, and I do not have an hour for a complete fix, so I eventually just settle on a mildly disheveled but still presentable look.

Leaving Glory to her own devices, I trot out into the main inn. The same guy is still there, but I decide not to question it. Athen was on air 24 hours, so I figured that the innkeeper did that, too.

“Are the drinks free with the night?” I ask.

“One, that’s it,” the innkeeper says.

Sighing, I order a simple cider. I do not want to try persuasion today. It’d have to do for now.

The innkeeper hands me my cider, and I idly sit and wait for Glory.

Glory comes out very late, looking stunning. As I told her, all the sticks and stones were pulled out of her mane. All the dirt on her coat was cleaned, too, and she does indeed have a green pelt and forest green mane. Compared to my mane, which is so tangled up that I can’t comb it properly, it’s easily an improvement.

“Well, Glory, I see you’re ready. Well, I’ve gotta sign up. We can’t idly sit while there’s fighting to be done!”

Glory is clearly taken aback by how quickly I asked her to leave with me. She mouths,”Later,” at me, and walks up to the innkeeper.

“Can I get a cider?” she asks, sweetly.

The innkeeper nods.”If you pay for it.”

Glory sighs and gives the innkeeper a bit. She isn’t in a persuasive mood either, although I totally think she could easily persuade most ponies. Regardless, She gets a cider.

She drinks it slowly, and when she’s finished, I’m ready to leave. I check out and wander out onto the packed streets of Canterlot.

I’ve never really been able to see a city in broad daylight. Honestly, the daylight is disorienting me, hell, I don’t usually travel in daytime. Now, however, I can see that the city is absolutely packed. Royal Guards wander the streets, telling worriers that the war will turn out fine. There are ponies that are clearly wanting to sign up, like me. There’s even a few ponies that are predicting the end of the world on day two of the war.

Knowing I have no idea where to go, I ask a nearby Royal Guard where we would sign up to apply to the military.

“Follow the road to the castle,” he drones in a practiced way,”stallions get first pick, and mares are highly unlikely to be thrown into the military.”

“I didn’t necessarily want to,” Glory says, but the guard is already gone. Gone to help a completely different pony with the same question, no doubt.

Following his instructions, I follow the road to the castle. There’s a long line. This will take a while.

What seems to be an eternity later, I finally reach the applications desk. It’s a simple wooden desk set up in front of the castle, the desk has a sign-up sheet that oddly has nothing but names on it. There’s no physical description options, nor occupation options.

I trot up to the desk, and the pony behind it, another Royal Guard, looks at me.

“I’d like to sign up for the military,” I say, moderately.

“Yeah, your companion there isn’t likely to make it in, we're running low on spots,” the Royal Guard says.

“I didn’t want to,” Glory retorts.

Ignoring her, the guard turns to me,”I can get you in though. You do seem to be in the Princess’ records. Your name is Celestian, blood red coat, tail and mane that haven’t been brushed in a decade, both black, amethyst eyes, no cutie mark, about 37, and occupation of Royal Paperwork Assistant, so we can let you in.”

I wonder how the guard was able to pick all that off of some records. From memory, no less. That’d be something to explore when I get Celestia’s trust. More pressing, Glory is looking at me funny, she doesn’t know my birth name. Well, from this point on, I’m not Celestian either, I know there are people who deify Celestia, and I don’t want to be related to them.

“What was my name sir?” I ask, accusingly.

“Celestian, as is listed on your birth certifi—“

“No,” I growl,”Hell if my name is Celestian, if I’m going to be called that for the rest of my bucking life, I’m officially changing my name. To hell with Celestian, you and all of your bucking friends can call me War Hawk!”

The guard looks flustered for a moment. “Celestian, we cannot simply change your name on the fly, you are Celestian.”

“War Hawk.” I growl again.

The guard shoots me a defeated look. “If it will get you out of here faster, fine, you can be known as War Hawk. Thank you for your time.”

“Thank you, but one more question,” I say, almost all menace completely gone,”will I get paid for this?”

The guard sighs,”If you win enough trust, yes. Now, it’s been great doing business, please leave now. I don’t have all day.”

I leave, and congratulate myself on successfully applying for the military. Glory is right behind me, and she seems to have liked that persuasion as well.

I knew that soon I’d be working for a cause I agreed with and using it to stage a coup eventually. This was the first day I’d felt genuinely happy in a really long time.

New companion discovered!

Glory:

Strength: 4
Perception: 5
Endurance: 5
Intelligence: 7
Charisma: 7
Agility: 3
Luck: 6

Race: Pegasus?

New perk!

Silver-tongued ———————————————————————————————————————————————

Your haggling with the innkeeper, convincing others to accept your name change, and getting Glory to reveal her secrets has made you feel pretty good about yourself! Persuading others is now 25% more likely to happen.

Chapter 0: Song of the Century

Author's Note

A long time ago, we’re talking months. I said that I had come up with an idea for a FO:E/21st Century Breakdown crossover. Well, here it is! I’m super proud of the ideas I came up with here, and despite the writing not reflecting Christian’s character 100% of the time, I think it’s a really good story as well.

Don’t expect this to update consistently at all, it’ll be updating completely sporadically with an unspecified amount of time between updates. It’s also not going to follow either story to a T, as it’s an AU of an AU.

Influences: FO:E, FOE: Commonwealth, Green Day’s songwriting, Fallout

I expect that this isn’t perfect. If you like it, that’s fine, if not, then constructive criticism is allowed an encouraged!

....

So, let’s start a new game!

Chapter 0: Song of the Century

Sing us the song of the century
That’s louder than bombs and eternity
The era of fallout from megaspells
And of insanity all can tell.

Tell us a story that’s by candlelight
Of waging a war gone horribly right.

They’re playing his song of the century
Of panic and promise and insanity
Telling a story of pony kind’s end
Telling a story, for us.