A sweet caretaker

“Yawn”
I wake from a very rare case of sleep, it was both comfortable and pleasant , which surprises me. Since I have been suffering from nightmares and strange visions for a very long time.
Still I can’t fully understand why I all of a sudden need to sleep so often. Normally I only sleep once every 5000 years or so, yet another question with no answer.

But the thing is that I don't really mind sleeping, especially if it’s in a comfy bed such as this crib.

Wait a minute......crib?

I take a look around myself and I realised that I actually slept in a freaking crib. “wow I must be the most pathetic excuse for a god there is, *sigh.* whatever It was the best sleep I have experienced in my entire existence.... so far.

I levitate myself out of the crib and once again I release a mighty yawn. I shake my head in a futile attempt to get rid of the sleepiness that is clutching my mind. My vision is blurry and I can barely walk straight. quite the accomplishment, considering the fact that I can’t walk.

As I look around the room I noticed a small blue box with stars on its sides. The odd box manage to catch my attention and I slowly hover over to it.

“What kind of purpose can such a thing have? I need to investigate this colorful object.”

I use my magic to pick the box up, I slowly rotate it 360 degrees so I can get a good look at it.
“Hmm there is a handle on it.”

I put the box down and I grab the handle with my magic. As I turn the handle the box starts to play music.
“Oh silly me its only a music box, quite a catchy tune though. I think to myself as I continue to turn the handle.”

All of a sudden a white clown jumps out of the box, the clown laughs at me and I get the scare of a lifetime.

“AHHHHH!”

In a pure moment of fear and surprise, I start charging my magic and I blast the evil clownbox with a telekinetic push. The force is so strong that It blew a big hole in the floor. Large chunks of the floor crashes down into the room below and I think I heard a big splash.

“Pant wheeze, in the name of *pant* all that is holy, I almost got a heart attack!
Who would invent such a torture device?. A sick twisted rat who dares to call himself a pony, that is who!” I'm hyperventilating from the shock and I can feel that my heart is racing.

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF TARTARUS JUST HAPPENED?”
“WE ARE UNDER ATTACK PROTECT THE PRINCESSES!”
“SOUND THE ALARM, WE NEED TO COUNTER ATTACK!”

“Ops, It seems I manage to scare the living daylight out of a few guards, with that little incident. *giggles*”

Oh well, even though I find it their over the top reactions amusing, I can’t help but wonder why they would flip their shit over such a trivial thing like an explosion.
I should probably make this whole ordeal undone, besides I don't feel like telling Celestia that I got so scared by that stupid box thing, that I blow it to tartarus along with most of the floor floor.

My eyes light up and I Reverse time to moments before I blasted a hole through the floor. “Sighs a lot less amusing but way more dignified.”

The door to my chamber opens with a loud bang, once again I get scared and I prepare myself for whatever beast might have breached my door. “Oh my I’m sorry little one, I did not mean to scare you.”

A young unicorn mare with a lime green coat and orange mane is slowly walking towards me. She sits down in front of me looks at me with a big smile. I tilt my head to the left with a confused look on my face.

“hmm interesting, she’s got white eyes, that is unusual, judging by her movement and the way she is staring at me I doubt she is blind. Anyway I better do a thread cheek on her to refresh my memory a little.”

Time stops and I grasp the thread which represents the mare in front of me, the thread flies through my head a couple of times thus revealing everything about the mare, it then slips back into the void.

“Here we go. Her name is Emerald Dream, she is a widow from an earlier marriage, she have been working with foals ever since she was 14, her own foal was born dead and she is still grieving. She is 32 years of age, her hobby is to knit and she is currently hired to foalsit me. Well that was quite a mouthful, if I could talk I would give her my condolences and tell her that in time everything will be fine.”

As I continue to go over the information I got from her thread, I somehow manage to miss the fact that time unpaused itself somehow.

“Oh are you not the cutest little foal I have ever seen! Mrs Dream says in a childish tone, she then picks me up and gives me a big hug”. “Oh yes you are yes you are, you are such a little cutiepie.
She is rocking me back and forth I don't know how to feel about the current situation, i'm still concerned about the fact that the time decided to go against my will. Such a thing have never happened before. To top it all of it feels like my head is about to explode.

” Here come the tickle monster!”She leans down and starts blowing raspberries on my exposed tummy.

“childish giggling and laughing. Oh by everything that is holy, I never thought that I would be this ticklish, I can’t breath! If this continues I'm going to wet myself! which would be quite a feat since I can’t wet myself since I'm a god and a god do not need to use the bathroom. AH! when is she going to stop? This is the worst torment I ever had to withstand in my entire existence!”

30 long seconds of torment later.

“you are so cute!”
“Oh please can you say anything else? tell me something I don’t know.”
“Oh my you are very dirty, you need a bath.”
“Wait I need a what now?”

Mrs Dream gently places me on her back and walks slowly towards the bathroom, she is constantly turning her head during the short trip to make sure I'm not about to fall of her back. Once inside she places me on the floor and gives me a rubber ducky.

“Now play with this, while mommy prepares your bath little Tempus.”
“Oh please, how is this....... incredibly delicious looking rubber duck supposed to entertain me?”

“squeak,squeak” Is heard from the rubber duck, as I unconsciously stick it in my mouth and starts to chew at it.

“What the *squeak* am I *squeak* doing? I truly must be the worst *squeak* excuse for a *squeak* god there is. *squeak.*

My train of thought is interrupted as mrs Dream places me in a tub filled with perfectly heated water. I continue to chew on the damn duck, there must be some kind of curse upon this duck. There is no way a rubber duck is supposed to be this tasty too chew on.

“mmm the *squeak* water is perfect and it smells like *squeak* flowers. Oh my lord” I drop the tasty duck into the water, a string of saliva is hanging from my mouth. “Are those bubbles?” I playfully bat every single bubble within my range and every time a bubble pops I giggle.
“This *giggle* is way too much *giggle* fun, I wonder what they taste like” I take a bite out of one of the bubbles and I frown. “Yuck. that was nasty, I will never do that again *Frown.* How could I possibly have thought that it would taste different the second time around? I feel like a dumbdumb.

“Giggles, you are so adorable.”
“Oh bubbles, she have been here the entire time. Thankfully she does not know that I'm a god,.... I hope.”
“Shampoo time, cute little Tempus.”
As she lathers my mane and tail with shampoo I close my eyes, I’m not stupid enough to fall for the old shampoo in the eyes trick. While she is scrubbing my mane I spot the tasty duck and I start to chew at it again.

“Squeak my existence.”
“Well look at that you there was a white little foal with a blue mane hiding under all that dust.”
“Is she joking with me? I know I have been Inside a cave for the past millions of years, but there is no way I would have forgotten my own coat color, besides i'm not a pig I would have noticed if I was getting dusty.”

Mrs Dream picks me out of the tub and dries me with a towel, she then picks me up and puts me down on the sink. I look into the mirror and I can’t believe what I'm looking at.

“Well I'll be damned. I look adorable, my mane is blue with a few different shades here and there. Holy salamander cuttlefish, my coat is actually white, when was the last time I looked in a mirror? I look like Celestia, oh wait correction Celestia looks like me. For some unexplainable reason the fact that Celestia looks like me and not the other way around actually makes me feel better.”

As I continue to gaze upon myself in the mirror, I fail to notice that mrs Dream pick me up with her magic.

“Now let’s get you dressed and ready to attack the day.”

She lays me down on a changing table. she puts a diaper on me. It take me a far too long realise what she just did. Mrs Dream starts carrying me back to the room and places me on the floor. I look down at the diaper and I poke it with one of my tiny hooves. slowly the grinds in my head begins to turn.

“...... I’m wearing a diaper, hmm........ I*M WEARING A DIAPER! I’m going to eliminate everything alive and reset the whole damn world! Ok....ok calm down, deep breaths. *breath* one *inhale* two *small inhale* three. This is all for keeping up appearance remember, this is the best possible solution, there is nothing wrong with a foal wearing a diaper, I still got my pride.”

“You would look adorable in a purple pajama onesie.”

*Snap*”Buck it, I don't care anymore, she can put me in a frilly pink dress if she wants to.”

The whole process of getting me dressed i goes by smoothly since I don’t bother doing anything to make it harder. Once the onesie is on me she places a blue pacifier in my mouth and puts me in a playpen.

“So this is *suck* the great and mighty *suck* god of time in his *suck* true element, I feel like crying for some reason. But i refuse to lower myself to that level I still got my pride. *suck,suck,suck* Damn this pacifier to the dark pits of tartarus! *suck* why is it so tasty? Why is it doing such a great job at calming me down?”

As I sit in the playpen sulking. The door opens and Celestia stick her head inside for a brief moment, she sees me and quickly pulls her head out of vision.

*Meanwhile in the hallway*

“HNNNNGGGGGG! Celestia clamps her chest with one of her hooves. How can anything possibly be that cute? Remember he is still a god even though he is the cutest foal you have ever seen.

Celestia regains her composure and enters the nursery. She walks up behind Mrs Dream and says. “I Believe everything is going smoothly, Emerald Dream”.

Emerald jumps into the air with a small scream due to the fact that Celestia basically sneaked up on her. Once she regains control of herself she gives a quick bow to Celestia and says.

“Of course your highness, everything is going lovely. He is such a little angel, I have never taken care of such a well behaving foal in my entire career as a caretaker. I was just about to take him to the dining hall to get him something to eat before we go see the doctor.”

Celestia walks over to the playpen and leans down to me. “that sounds good, I have complete faith in you Emerald Dream. I guess you won’t cause any twouble for Emewald, wight Tempus? You adowable wittle cutie.” she says in a high pitched tone.

I wave my tiny hoof towards my chest, motioning for her to come closer. Celestia leans closer to my face with a questioning look on her face. I once again motion for her to come closer, she leans closer to me her muzzle is only a few inches away from my face now. With the forces of a million cannons I spit my pacifier in her face.

“Ouch.” Celestia rears back and starts rubbing her eye.

“Tempus that is a bad little foal, you do not spit your pacifier on somepony.” Mrs Dream says in a scolding tone.

*giggles* “ I have put up with enough crap for one day, I don’t have the patience for Celestia going all cuddly over me.”

“Oh, don't worry Emerald I bet he did not do it on purpose, besides he just a foal don’t be too harsh with him.” Celestia Levitates the pacifier back in my mouth. “anyway keep up the great work and I will see you and Tempus later Emerald Dream.

“She is *suck* enjoying this far *suck* too much. Anyway this day can’t possibly get any more annoying. *suck*

My trail of thought is interrupted by Mrs Dream placing me gently in a foal carrier, which is hanging down from her neck. She looks down at me with a smile and starts walking.

“Why is everything that is made for foals so damn comfortable? It feels like i'm laying inside a warm fuzzy cloud.”

Emeralds walks down the castle halls and into a small dining room. Inside the room are several small dining tables and a lot of chairs of different kind. She walks up to one of the tables, she puts me in a highchair and ties a bib around neck.

“Hmm, this might get interesting since I know for a fact that I don’t need to eat. My body is 95% pure magic, thus consuming food would only serve to speed up my natural magical regeneration for a short period of time. But since I have never actually eaten anything in my life, i'm going to be open minded to this, perhaps food actually tastes decent.”

Mrs Dream poured a bottle of foal food on a plate.”Hurk, if she thinks i’m going to eat that orange blob out of my own free will, then she is gravely mistaken.” She levitates a spoon of orange towards me.

“Here comes the dragon. Rawr,rawr he wants to land in the cave.”

“Well that dragon can go fuck itself, this cave is closed.” *I seal my lips tightly.*

“Open up the dragon can’t fly forever, you don’t want him to crash do you?”

“Oh by all the is holy, the smell is awful. I’m not going to eat that, end of story.”

Mrs Dream shoves her free hoof into my side. “Tickle attack!” As I start to laugh she shoves the spoon into my mouth.

“.....Oh, its gooey why is it gooey? *Hurk* I can do this, foals eat this everyday. Oh those poor foals, Oh bubbles.”

With much effort and a lot of positive thinking I manage to swallow this gunk called food. I fell sick and if my face could get any more white it would.

“There we go jummy to the tummy, oh look here comes another dragon.”

Five long minutes later

“such a good boy, now don’t you feel great with all that food in your tummy?”

“Words can’t describe my hatred towards the, sick, twisted, spawn of a back alley tail lifter, who dares to call himself a pony. The one who invented this stuff.” My stomach starts to rumble, “oh I don't feel good.”

Mrs Dream plucks me out of the high chair. She places me over her shoulder, and gently started tapping my back.

“OH NO, Don’t do that! BLARGH! I puke all over Mrs Dreams back and every last bit of food I just ate. Leaves my stomach faster than, Celestia devoured cake during her depressive period 548 years ago.”

Mrs Dream quickly puts me on the floor and starts wiping my mouth, all while she repeats “Oh no the princess won't be happy about this.”

“I can’t stand this taste in my mouth, if i don’t do anything I might puke again.” For a second my eyes flashes and I reverse my own time to moments before I even ate that damn food. “Ah much better.” I smack my lips a few times to enjoy the feeling of the neutral taste in my mouth.”

“Clean up in dining hall number 4 please.” Mrs Dream tells one of the servants. “I hope you're not sick my little cutie pie, anyway I need to take quick shower before we go see the doctor.”

She once again puts me on the playpen, she then enters the bathroom to take a shower.

“Nice going Mr God, puke all over your caretaker that is such a good idea.” I lay down on the floor and I apparently felt like taking a nap. Because the moment my head hit the carpet I fell asleep. I need to get this whole sleep thing figured out.

Author's Note

Here we go another chapter, finally.
I hope you like it and as usual, I have no clue when the next chapter will be made.

This chapter was a pain in the ass to write. My main computer decided to die on me :(
So i was a little sad over that, hopefully I will get it back by the end of next week.

Well Ill see you around, if i ever manage to get my thumb out my ass again.
Anyway Peace out and have nice day,night or whatever.