Warmth in the D'oh‽

by SevenEyes

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Narcotics, Fluttershy (EqG), Romance, Pinkie Pie (EqG), Apple Bloom, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 11531

The start of me parodying the originally super serious WWB series by Krickis.

Join Sunset Shimmer as she navigates the oldest human traditions of sexual intercourse, fine alcoholic beverages, wooing a beautiful lady and absolutely not making any mistakes ever thank you very much.

Parody of a story set in the legendary 'Who We Become' series.
Link to Krickis' page here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/220433/Krickis/stories

The 'Who We Become' (WWB) group here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/210836/who-we-become

The fic that this is inspired by is called 'Warmth in the Snow' and written by Krickis.

Art is a hideously modified and all but ruined version of the original on 'warmth in the snow' which was beautifully arted by the ever brilliant Pasu-chan.

Published 2020-03-01 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-22 07:06:08 UTC

Not the last chapter yet!

Sunset was cool. The coolest mofo around, and nothing you can say can get her down. Mostly because she’s down in the dumps already. That could be forgiven though, due to the temperature of the most wintry season of them all. Winter.

What wasn’t cool was the electric blanket she covered herself in. Because it was turned to the maximum setting, so as to produce the most heat that the small blanket could possibly output without being on fire. Under different circumstances Sunset Shimmer might have marvelled at the ingenuity of humans. How they had seemingly endless ideas for the applications of electricity.

But instead she was watching TV. This was of course deteriorating her brain even faster than the alcohol she was drinking deteriorated her liver. She cared not for her ill-functioning organs however, as she could just portal to Equestria, cast a spell and fix her liver good as new.

Her brain however being in poor health was a relatively welcome idea, as at least she wouldn’t be plagued with thoughts of... her.

Suddenly there was a knocking sound and Sunset looked to the door. Then she remembered the time her ex-girlfriend had lovingly changed her phone's ringtone to the sound of knocking. It was cute at the time, but right now hearing that knocking sound just made her want to knock someone out.

You can’t knock someone out through a phone line, Sunset reasoned to herself so she didn’t bother answering. And really when you sit down and think about it, much like she was sitting and thinking at the moment, the whole world was so full of pain. So why add to it? Well, actually she wasn’t so sure about the whole world but certainly her world, and definitely over the last year.

She really didn’t want to think about that, as it directly related to her ex. In fact she didn’t want to think at all, so she returned to her TV and booze combo.

Then without warning, the most magical thing in the entire fucking multiverse happened!

Sunset Shimmer, proud unicorn turned human looked to her phone upon hearing a chime from the device. Only to see that not one, not two, not even seven, but six new voicemails had been sent her way at once.

Now Sunset is not what you might call a god fearing woman, but she took this great occurrence as divine providence that she was officially the most brilliant unicorn to ever be turned into a human.

To congratulate herself on this great accomplishment, she drank more booze. Booze that she could only hope would lead to more fucked up logic, that ended up boosting her self esteem in the face of otherwise saddening circumstances.

Of course booze was only half of the epic two piece puzzle in her life, so she turned her focus back to the TV. Or at least she tried to, but naturally she was marathoning 'My little Pony, Friendship is Magic'. Which somewhat predictably always got hard to watch after roughly, but not exactly, the midpoint of season five. This was for a simple reason, one that she did not have enough meta awareness to explain herself, though simple it remained.

The thought did occur to her that she could just stop watching TV, to focus the entirety of her immense brain power on getting drunker and drunker. Yes that's it, she could start her own branch of science: Drunkology! Yes, she could see it all now, a multi-million dollar business with Sunset herself in charge, finding new, interesting and above all faster ways of getting drunk.

By the end of it all she would be able to wake up drunk, go about her day drunk in a drunken daze, all within a drunken therefore superior world. Then finish off her day by drinking herself to sleep at night. After which all she would have to do in life would be to repeat those steps for an eternity of an existence. Yes, one whole eternity, because at that point she would be a goddess amongst humans.

Quite surprisingly something actually happened, in her own real life no less. Something that shook her from her idle musings on drunken self divinity.

A knocking sound was once more heard. Oh no no no, Sunset was not likely to fall for that one twice. She was smart. So smart that when she registered another, different knocking sound, she was on full alert.

It was happening! The ringtones were becoming self aware, truly alive at long last. What's more they didn’t want to make sounds to signify messages from electronic devices were being sent and received any longer. Instead they wanted to make us, all of us... dead!

She ran to the door leaving the electric blanket behind, as you just don’t know who you can trust these days. What if the blankets were in on it too? What if the booze she still held in the mug in her hand was in on it as well. There was only one thing for it, she had to consume all the booze and gain its power for her own, to defeat the ringtones. And possibly blankets.

Now, drinking alcohol while opening the front door might be looked upon as downright degenerative under usual circumstances, but these circumstances were anti-usual, damn it. Anyway it’s not like the love of her life, and breaker of her heart was patiently waiting outside on the opposite end of the door.

No.

That would be silly.

“I tried calling,” said Fluttershy, while shivering in the cold that was the outside world in midwinter.

The quick thinking Sunset Shimmer allowed her into the cold that was the inside of her house, by stepping aside to give her the room to walk in and finally shiver within the bounds of four walls.

With them both inside Sunset's excessively humble abode the fiery haired woman spoke, now with all the seriousness in the soon to be apocalyptic world. “Don’t call me, don't call anyone any more. That would just fuel their unending rage.”

“Ummm," Fluttershy ummmed, while she made her way through her ex's room towards the couch and the warmth of the electric blanket, while also making her way through her ex's famous drunk logic. “Whose unending rage exactly?”

Sunset mimicked Fluttershy’s intuition to not freeze to death and got under the electric blanket as well. Seemingly forgetting about the possible connection the blanket had to the end of the human race, she told Fluttershy everything she knew on the subject.

As it happened this amounted to very little, so she just blurted without any filter, “Bitch, there be satanic ass ringtones, gonna murder us all!”

Fluttershy just giggled in immediate response, and suddenly the situation seemed less dire in Sunsets eyes. Maybe, Sunset thought, seeing as Fluttershy had recorded a ringtone herself she could bargain a deal whereby they both could survive Armageddon together and repopulate the earth.

Sunset was violently pulled from her delusion and the situation worsened tenfold as Fluttershy said, “If you call me a bitch ever again I’ll hurt you in all the ways I know how!"

Sunset gulped and trembled in fear but it seemed that the not-quite-shy-anymore one wasn't done yet.

"Then I’ll dedicate my life to finding new ways to cause you even more ridiculous amounts of pain.”

Sunset stared at Fluttershy who was simply smiling at her with the satisfaction of a good threat given. After a moment of letting the expertly worded threat from the one she used call a girlfriend sink in, Sunset said, “See why can’t you be more like that Fluttershy?” She gestured to the TV which was on the episode named ‘Bats’. The Fluttershy on screen was trying to eat all her friends while being part vampire fruit bat.

Fluttershy (the non bat pony) turned her attention briefly towards the TV and frowned. “While we're randomly changing the subject; are you ever going to tell Twilight that she’s a cartoon character?”

“What‽ And ruin all my fun?” Sunset asked. After seeing the confused look on Fluttershy's face, Sunset explained, ”See, with the power of this show and my magical book, I can write to Princess Twilight asking if she’s encountered a specific problem. Say, her Fluttershy turning into a vampire. I site our world's Pinkie Pie and her ‘Pinkie sense’ as to how I know it might have happened to her. Then comes the good bit. I ask her why she didn’t just have Discord fix it, then ignore the book a few days and come back to it full of the most colourful language you’ve ever seen!”

“So...” Fluttershy looked at her with slightly less confusion covering her face. “Is Discord another powerful unicorn?”

Sunset tried to decide if she pitied Fluttershy more for her less than impressive knowledge of Sunset's home world, or less than impressive knowledge of a cartoon. Either way it was still laughable.

So laugh she did and said, “Discord is like Frankenstein’s monster if Dr Frankenstein had decided to heist a pet cemetery.”

At this Fluttershy’s face lit up and she said, “So Discord is all the world’s most lovable creatures combined into one super cute and misunderstood animal, that only wants to be loved and hugged in a cruel unfeeling world?”

Sunset was simply bewildered from this Olympic level leap in logic. Still she tried to explain as best she could, while staring into Fluttershy's joyous eyes. “Noooooo, not quite. If anything he would want to make the world cruller, or at least more chaotic, and he just looks hideous! For example he ha...” She stopped when she saw the crestfallen Fluttershy who sat next to her in the cold room, who had in a moment of wondrous innocence imagined something beautiful; only for Sunset to take that away.

“But,” Sunset continued, “he saw the error of his ways. Turns out he only needed to be shown a little kindness.” She knew it was a cheesy line; doubly so when said to the woman who represents the magical element of kindness itself in this world.

But it looked like it did the trick and then some, as Fluttershy was beaming a great smile. In Sunset’s eyes it was a perfect smile. The likes of which she would wear on an occasions when Sunset had performed a truly selfless act in front of her shy (once) girlfriend. A smile that caused memory after memory to run through Sunset’s mind, until she remembered why those events seemed so long ago.

It had caused the end of their relationship and now it ruined the otherwise grin inducing moment for Sunset. Much like she was likely to ruin the moment for Fluttershy, when Sunset proceeded to ask, “Hey why did you come round?”

The incredibly forward question would have caused offence to most, or at the very least, catch them off guard. Fluttershy just stayed as cool as a cold person and responded with, “I knew you’d be home alone, and nobody should be alone on their pony holidays.” She spoke as if it was a simple truth. But it warmed Sunsets heart in a way the blanket never could, even if it was on fire. Which thankfully it was not, because that would kill them both.

Thus they continued to live very much unburned to death. What's more Sunset Shimmer learnt something. Fluttershy can remember the date of at least one Equestrian holiday. Maybe she didn’t have to pity Fluttershy’s knowledge of either Sunset’s home world or of the cartoon centred around it. Maybe everything was just fine.

The TV stopped playing 'Friendship is Magic' right after the CMC acquired their cutie marks. Which was strange seeing as how not that much time had passed and an entire season’s worth of episodes had gone by since the ‘Bats’ episode.

The TV was now playing another cartoon, one that Sunset didn't recognise. So rather than seem uncool in front of her pony holiday remembering ex, she formulated a plan. Cunningly did she disguise her ignorance for indifference as she asked, “Wanna watch something else?”

“What!? And miss 'God the devil and Bob'?”

Sunset almost couldn't contain her laughter at the ridiculous sounding name. She recalled with horror what had been said last time she insulted Fluttershy. No, she did not want another epic torture threat. This mustn’t register on an emotional level, she had to stay calm and figure this out piece by piece.

There were no religions at all, back in the good old godless land of Equestria, however she did know about Christianity through her time spent with the rather Christian Fluttershy in this world. So Sunset tried paying attention to what was going on on screen to see if she could link anything she had learnt, to the amusingly titled show. She eventually noticed something of note and asked, ”So I might be missing something here, but that devil guy seems pretty evil; why doesn't God just kill him?”

“Well,” Fluttershy began to answer, looking around as though she was checking that no one was listening in on their conversation in the chill-zone room, “not a lot of people know this, but God takes huge inspiration from DC's Batman and his no kill rule.”

Sunset Shimmer's 'Shimmer sense' was a tinglin' in a fashion which told her that the explanation was the complete and honest truth. With this new knowledge, she continued to watch the show with extreme interest. After a short while of absorbing the literal genius of the show she interrupted the TV again to ask another question, “So does this Batgod have a place to put that Jokerdevil instead of killing him?”

“Oh yes,” Fluttershy replied not missing a beat, “the special place known as 'hell' is just one big prison for all the baddies.”

“Silly Fluttershy, Batman sends his baddies to Arkham Asylum, not some prison. You see," Sunset explained in a nerdier voice, "Batman believes in reforming villains, so he sends them to get the psychological help they need." Sunset returned her voice to its previous levels of nerdyness, but with some added joy as well. "Just like how you and the rest of our friends helped me.”

“We didn't get you any psychological help.”

Oh that was right! The Shimmer one thought then slowly came back with a counter to the blunt point, “Well, let’s just say the elements of harmony move in mysterious ways!” Sunset was smirking as she began to silently enjoy her own brilliance at coming up with counters.

“No they didn't. They moved right at you after you tried to fireball someone in the face.”

With that Sunsets smirk faltered and not because of the incorrect recollection of the fireball being aimed at Twilight’s face, when in fact it was directed at the entirety of her being.

Generally speaking Sunset would not bring up the past. This was simply because so much of it was really shit for her, and it was really shit mostly due to either her own actions or inaction.

Sunset had only even searched back to fetch her memories of that night to compliment Fluttershy. But it had horribly backfired. Backfired like a car that she didn't have due to her leather jackets that she was always wearing signalling to the world that she actually rode a motorcycle. So her plan really only backfired like a motorcycle, and fuck, Fluttershy was still going on about it! That meant that any second now Sunset would lose her temper, say something that she would add to her list of regrets, then end up being all alone after hurting someone she cared for, once again.

“It was when your hair was slightly more fiery than usual, you had slightly more control over the student body than usual, and Snips and Snails were slightly more your evil minions than usual. So really all the elements did was exaggerate stuff you already did and then change everything back to normal when pony Twilight made a friendship speech. Remember?”

“Oh I see how it is, give Twilight the title of ‘pony’ but just call me plain old Sunset all the time!” Sunset exclaimed, her rage finally breaking through much like a rhino breaks through a chain link fence at the zoo, and kills thirteen and a half people.

“Well, I just thought that you wouldn't enjoy hearing me to call her Princess, due to all your emotional baggage surrounding royalty from your world.”

“Well maybe I got over it. Maybe I've got over everything in my past, including you!”

There was silence for a while, one that was not at all like the companionable silence they used to have many months ago.

Fluttershy finally spoke, ”I still think about you a lot. That, that's part of the reason I came round today you know, I wanted to see you.”

Once more silence but of a different kind. As Sunset thought through what Fluttershy had said to her.

She wondered if she should say that she had missed her as well. It was the truth after all, but even if she was able to admit that to herself, admitting it to Fluttershy was a different matter entirely. That kind of honest confession would take courage, a separate kind of courage from the one that Sunset would habitually use.

Thinking and doing were two different things after all. For instance Sunset was currently thinking about getting up and yelling at someone who had knocked so hard on the door that it was blasted off of its hinges. But it wasn't like that was going to happe-.

It happened; and it was basically like when Sunset thought that Fluttershy wouldn't be behind the door in paragraph twenty two. Therefore any wise author wouldn't waste their own, or their readers time with going over repeating tedious details.

Someone had somehow arrived super secret stealthily like, then proceeded to knock so hard on the door that it was blasted off of it's hinges. Getting up to yell at this new evil doer in her life, Sunset would have usually felt the bitter cold of the room. But this was unlike the time she had worried about the ringtone apocalypse, and only fear was there to motivate her. She was at that moment fuelled by practically undiluted rage from her damaged-to-death door. Her rage was so practically undiluted that it was like a thunderous tidal wave crashing down over the top of a waterfall, then against all odds nought but one drop from that body of water found its way into the local orange juice concentrate factory's production line.

Not only had someone interrupted her pondering on what her personal type of courage was, but now she had a door of a problem to deal with. Oh how she wished a thousand torments upon the sorry bastard that had caused this latest misery to enter her life.

Reaching the door, poor Sunset stopped as she was greeted with the sight of none other than a smiling Bulk Biceps. “Pizza's here!” He yelled in the orange girl’s face, which at that moment was the face of near ultimate anger.

“And my front door is over there!” Sunset yelled back into his face, which at that moment was the face of near unlimited joy. She was dramatically pointing over her shoulder at her befallen front door. “Do you know how many fond memories of that door I have?” she asked rhetorically, when he was about to answer she cut him off, thus keeping the integrity of the rhetorical question. ”Opening and walking through the space it left to be greeted by the shit outside world. Opening and waking through the space it left to be greeted by the shit home of mine. That door has been just like a door to me.”

Noticing that they had somehow gotten off on the wrong foot, Bulk tried a different approach. “Pizza's here.” he whispered in her face. The woman's face still had that near ultimate anger of a facial expression on it.

“And your chances of surviving this transgressing are way down there.” Sunset whispered back, in the harshest tone she could manage when keeping her voice down. While she, in an even more dramatically than before fashion pointed at the ground.

It was in that moment that Fluttershy decided it was her time to shine, or at least stop a potential homicide occurring from Sunset’s anger antics. Thus she rolled off of the couch while rolling her eyes at sunset then stopped to giggle at the duel rolling and seeing as she was on a roll, started to roll on the floor laughing. That laughter managed to do what she had originally intended, it soothed the heart of Sunset Shimmer.

With her newly soothed heart she decided it was time to be the bigger person and let it go. So she walked over to her fallen in the line of duty door, picked it up using her ‘bigger person’ power and with her ‘let it go’ powers proceeded to let it go…

To fall into the face of Bulk Biceps.

As the door fell toward him, Bulk outwardly did nothing. He was thinking, his mind completely occupied with trying to think of a new way of saying that their pizza was in fact here. A way that would hopefully double as a method to escape this strange woman. So it came as a surprise to him that the door collided with his nose, breaking it, for great justice. “Ouch my nose!” he said as he ran in not quite the direction of the stealthy ride that he took to Sunset’s house.

“And I'll break your other one if you try that again,” Sunset Shimmer said. Mostly to herself even though it was a threat directed at the broken nosed one.

Fluttershy sighed getting back up off the freezing floor and started making her way to the all but forgotten pizzas. “Well done Sunset.”

Not recognising the sarcasm in Fluttershy's words, Sunset's head swelled with undeserved pride. Fluttershy was being so nice to her. She was in her home, laughing at her antics and even praising her good deed for the day. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for them as lovers once again.

So she demonstrated her skills further by dusting her hands off, locked eyes with Fluttershy, stating victoriously, “And that’s how you get out of giving a tip.”

Fluttershy didn’t congratulate her on this latest Shimmery victory, instead she frowned. ”Sunset, why come up with imaginative ways to be poor, instead of smart ways to be rich?”

Sunset didn’t have time to explain her epic backstory and complex feelings at present, so instead she echoed an age old truth, “All the money in the world can’t buy you the love of a beautiful woman.”

“But it can buy you a new door.”

“Well yea-”

“Actual heating in your home.”

“You make a strong poin-”

“Decent clothes”

“And what’s wrong with the way i dre-”

“A fake amber necklace exactly the colour of your skin”

“Now where would I even get one of thoooooooo-”

Sunset’s oooooooooing was interrupted not by Fluttershy talking over her this time, but by her own bewilderment at being given her first hearth's warming gift in years. In fact her last one had been a rubber ducky from Celestia as a way of telling her to bathe more. Or else she would by royal decree be renamed Sunset Stinker.

For Sunset this present was way better than any rubber ducky even if that rubber ducky was the one, the one who made bath time lots of fun. The new necklace reminded Sunset of her empty wallet with its fake amber. It reminded her of the love that they had together with the beauty it still radiated, fake amber or no it was a lovingly given gift. The fact that there was no fake bug trapped inside the fake amber reminded her that she was no longer trapped physically in this world, that she could return home at the merest whim. A whim that would surely never come as long as she had an army in her life. No wait as long as she had a Fluttershy in her life. She felt like she was always getting those two confused.

Now with this gift and her drunkish state Sunset concluded that she ought to have sex with her not currently girlfriend as a special hearths warming thank you. So instead of testing the waters and seeing how Fluttershy felt, Sunset just cannon balled right in right in. “The future is you me and lots of little blue Asari children.”

Fluttershy looked up from her pizza to meet Sunset’s gaze. “You think I'm impressed by a pick up line stolen from Mass Effect?”

Sunset shook her head in momentary acceptance of her defeat. Of course that wouldn't work, well there was only one way to win now. “I must have found the Ark, 'coz your ass is out of this world!”

At this Fluttershy instantly swooned and said, “Take me!”

They kissed passionately under the blanket that they were once wrapped in because sometimes love makes you do crazy things like not get hypothermia from standing around in the cold unblanketed rest of the world. Their mutual expression of love got closer and closer to this story needing a higher rating. Until Fluttershy gave her a look that said 'let’s continue this in your bed' so Sunset shot back with a look of her own that said 'yes please and thanks for giving me those expressions to English translation classes for free, last year'.

They proceeded to get up, reasoning that their love would give them strength to withstand the horrid temperature. They were proved wrong after two steps however so Fluttershy said, “Bring the blanket.”

Sunset did bring the blanket with her. But because she wanted to, not because of anything anyone else said, and went to join her in bed.

Oh, then the writer of the fic you're currently reading got all squeamish about the prospect of writing sex. I know right what a weirdo! Sex is a natural healthy part of adult life. As long as it doesn't give you an STD. Like in that one Roald Dahl short story. You know the one in that compilation of short stories he wrote. Speaking of short, the sex between Sunset and Fluttershy was not. It went on and on and on like an overly lengthy paragraph that holds on relentlessly to the end of a chapter. But unlike that hypothetical paragraph it wouldn't have multiple periods. Hehe, could you imagine that? Sex that last so long that the participants have multiple periods. Now that would be allot of sex! Also if you had sex for that length of time then surely you'd try new things to keep it interesting. Therefore participant number one could try a new thing and get the wrong message from the period participating participant number two. Then it could all be clarified months later when it is discovered that participant number two is actually into that thing participant number one did. Then they hug, sing a song and write a letter to the Princess. And then she would burn it because it was too lewd. Lewd like the sex that Fluttershy and Sunset were having, that has not been described in any meaningful way. But that's life I suppose. Sometimes you get hot sex, sometimes you get periods and only in offensive literature do you get both.

Still not the last chapter.

Sunset awoke as she always did when in Fluttershy’s gentle grasp. Well rested, warm, and content. Because when she and Fluttershy were together there was nothing that they could not achiev—. Wait. She was with Fluttershy; actually literally for realsies in bed with Fluttershy!

Oh no. What if Fluttershy’s psychotic ex tracked down the Shimmer dimmer, and murdered her in a really weird way.

Wait.

She WAS Fluttershy’s psychotic ex.

Well that was reassuring, as there was no way Sunset could track down Sunset. That Sunset was always four steps ahead of her, and as for Sunset getting ‘documentary worthy’ levels of weirdly murdered. Well she knew a thing or two about Sunset, and have a vastly cruel imagination she did not.

What Sunset had instead was a Fluttershy holding her, just like she had a hold on to her own cool. Come on Sunset, you’ve faced down more complex social situations. Like that time she was riding a horse, came across an escaped rhino and got thrown off the scared horse in such a way that she accidentally dive kicked the rhino. Oh how it had chased her all the way to Fluttershy’s home.

Explaining how the entire situation was not her fault was as tiring as running in circles to escape the rhino's fury. Eventually the yellow girl had woken up to the fact that Sunset was not in the wrong, much like present Fluttershy was slowly awakening. Oh crumbs. What if she blames Sunset for getting her drunk, seducing her, then sleeping with her.

“Oh Sunset, thank you so much for the sexy times, that I planned on having with you.”

Surely Fluttershy had only said this because she was still mostly asleep, and didn’t yet know the difference between the dreaming and waking worlds. Whatever dream she had been having, the Sunset within it must be much more impressive than the Sunset in her arms for Fluttershy to plan having sex with her. The reality of the situation was that Sunset had used the ancient powers of seduction to trick her into bed. Oh how she could never be loved by one as completely pure as Fluttershy.

“Sunset I fucking love you”

Well maybe not completely pure, and there was that one time yesterday she had threatened her with bodily harm. But everyone has their triggers and Fluttershy’s was anyone at all using the word 'bitch' while not referring to a female dog.

“Bitch, let’s be girlfriends again.”

It seemed that snoozingish Fluttershy existed for the sole reason to prove Sunset’s thoughts wrong. Did this mean that she wasn’t on thin ice after all?

“Um, are you going to respond to me so we can start our relationship again and go ice skating together.”

This was all too much for early morning Sunset Shimmer so she decided to become afternoon Sunset Shimmer. She did this by closing her eyes until nothing was on her mind other than stating, "Wake me, when you need me."

Sunset was having a great time on the ice with Fluttershy. The CMC were skating along as well each in a style that matches their personality. Even the black cat on the ice was having a blast.

Wait who would let a cat ice skate. Sunset looked towards what she thought would be the obvious culprit, but found no Fluttershy. No CMC. No mountain high enough.

In light of this recent development Sunset simply screamed into the void. The cat looked at her with a puzzled expression then opened It's mouth horrendously wide and Rainbow Dash's voice started singing in a horrendously scratchy voice 'Awesome as I wanna be'. Sunset found it in herself to scream louder.

"Yes Rainbow I know you were worried but I really wanted to fuck my girlfriend." There was a ten second flat pause while Rainbow Dash responded after which Fluttershy patiently explained. "Well of course she is my girlfriend now we had sex." Another period of silence, lasting exactly one sixth of a minute, which was all it took for Rainbow to express her doubts. Fluttershy just hung up. She reasoned that the conversation was going to go nowhere if her friend couldn't even grasp the most basic concepts of cause and effect in her relationship.

It was very early afternoon, so the sun had been out for a while now, but it was so laughably weak that it could barely break through the clouds. The clouds were so unlaughably strong that they had dropped off a mighty layer of snow the previous night.

Therefore Sunset and Fluttershy were cool. They were under the covers in each others grasp. Fluttershy had just put her phone down thus exposing her arm, but cool they remained. They were so cool in fact that they didn't even start to jump with joy when they heard the ice cream van come around. Instead they simply looked into each others eyes and agreed without speaking.

The two got up, found their clothes and got dressed. Sunset felt eyes on her. So she turned to see Fluttershy's eyes on her butt. "You know if you wanted more sexy time wit-"

"Then I would have asked for it!" Fluttershy screamed in rage at her partner, storming out of the bedroom completely dressed on her right side, but not at all on her left.

Sunset didn't follow immediately. In fact it took to the point in time when the smell of pancakes met her from the other room, for her to dare to venture out. As she entered the too tiny kitchen area she found Fluttershy working on the next smelly-in-a-good-way batch of breakfast treats.

What was weird, was that the pan was moving without Fluttershy touching it. As she was sitting, on her phone a short distance from the utensils in motion.

"You're a wizard Flutters!"

"I'm a what?"

"A wizard, as in the gender neutral term that is used to describe the world of Rowling's creation, all without using the anti advertiser friendly word 'Witch'." Sunset quickly explained.

"That's not really a definition though," Fluttershy said sadly, "I wanted a definition."

This was Sunset's time to shine. All those fond childhood memories in this world, of herself and a good dictionary. All that time engrossing herself in the world of meanings. All that and, oh dear. She didn't remember that one!

Fluttershy seemed to have grown bored of being sad and was at the moment, fixing her with a look of near tears. Sunset couldn’t bear to look or to look away, so she went ‘Derpy eyed’ and observed both her girlfriend and the self moving cookware. Somehow, having only one eye on the pan gave her the ability to see what she could not earlier.

There were small animals in the house, cooking breakfast, and all presumably under Fluttershy’s command.

“Well that’s not something you see everyday, er is it?” Sunset timidly asked.

To which Fluttershy stopped trying to cry, then shrugged mid-chew of her own pancakes.

The animals finished cooking, Fluttershy finished eating, and Sunset finished her ‘Derpy vision’. Leaving Fluttershy to lean back and thus lose her grip on the animals minds. This caused them to all scamper off through the doorless doorway to the outside. And allowing Sunset to lock her eyes onto her critter cooked chewables.

Fluttershy watched her girlfriend in case she got syrup on her face so she could lick it off. A favourite hobby of the shy woman. But thankfully this didn’t happen. That would be a mental image that no one would be able to rip out.

“While I eat,” Sunset said, “let me tell you the entire rich history of Pony-kind. So Celestia had a sister called Luna-the-chill-pony. They were both born as winged unicorns, therefore could both shoot out laser beams from the great vantage point of the sky. Celestia never told me of her parentage so I assume they were nobody; filthy junk traders. But her aunt and uncle were so awesome that it was said by Celestia herself, that anyone who beheld them without cool dude shades, would become so awestruck that they never talked of them, or in fact anything again. They would be mute.”

“Is this in that show you watch?”

“What God the devil and Bob?”

Fluttershy responded only be giving a deadpan stare.

“Hehe, er, joking. I’m joking. Don’t mind control me please!”

The pinkett sighed, and gave the leftover pizza from the day before, to the local ant colony. With her good deed done for that day she led Sunset out to town evilly, to counterbalance the good.

They rode along on a stereotypical motorcycle with only Fluttershy wearing a helmet as the fiery haired woman was unafraid of injury. They rode into the cold unafraid of the elements. They rode past red traffic lights unafraid of the cops. They rode rode rode your boat gently down the stream; in their mind of course.

But much like a pathetic poem their ride came to an end at the closest lake's, bike chain up post.

The closest lake turned out to be mirror pool lake (ooh referential). And little did they know that underneath Nazi scientist were trying, very angrily to clone very sad humans, therefore they only looked on in silent wonder at the beauty of the ice.

It was untouched by human hands. Which was a great reason to go touch it. So Sunset got out the ice skates that Pinkie Pie had hidden all over Everton, in case of ice skates emergencies.

Well now was an emergency because the chapter would not progress without some cool-ass slippery skating both literally and metaphorically. Except it wasn't an emergency because they knew that Pinkie did what she did.

But if Pinkie knew of the emergency then how did she hide the skates, if that very action would help avoid it. Surely she would get halfway there and then when it was mostly avoided here emergency sense would stop compelling her to halt the emergency. Leaving the emergency to emerge.

None of that mattered to Sunset though, as the moment that she connected her boots to the pretty pretty ice she was pushed violently out of the way. The sound of three young voices in quick succession met her ears.

"Swan dive!"

"Canon ball!"

"Go webb!"

The first two voices, being Sweetie Belle and Scooterloo's respectively, attacked the ice with their own proclaimed attacks. The third member of the CMC stood back and repeatedly fired at a duck from her Spider Man: Webb Slinger. They were on her hands instead of having on actual gloves because, FASHION!

Yes, Apple Bloom was having the time of her life, missing the duck again, and again. Until Fluttershy waddled over to her. Sensing an impending lecture the youngest Apple turned her assault to the pinkett.

And was too late.

"DC comics are better," Fluttershy said.

Like a demon trapped in the lasso of truth. The young girl howled in pain, because the truth hurt. She was like this, quite nearly every time Applejack spoke!

Witnessing the young lady scream out, the gay couple gayly ran away, while inwardly fearing what Fluttershy had done.

They knew it was safe at Pinkie Pie's workplace. So there they hurried without so much as saying a word to another.

"Hello Sunset Shimmer." Pinkie inclined her head to the one she named. "Hello Fluttershy." Again bowing slightly to her other friend.

"Oh Pinkie; you are so random!" Sunset said, "We're together again, so call us 'Sunshyne' in future, silly."

Fluttershy walked up to Mr and Mrs cake who were behind Sugarcube Corner's counter. "A glass and a half of Butter Beer, please and thank you," She said with a smile then walked over to the table that her girlfriend was about to sit at.

Pinkie preferred to stand, so she did so. "I could use my Pinkie sense to find out how to build the perfect loving relationship for you two, but personally I don't ship you both."

There were so many problems with that statement that it took Sunset a moment to decide which one to start with. “It hasn’t even rained for weeks,” Sunset pointed out.

“Now that,” Fluttershy started, “is just plagiarism.” She smiled as she lightly slapped Sunset for being bad. Very lightly, but not on her face!

On her bott-

“Om, nom,” another random customer of the cafe said loudly.

They, however random, didn’t matter. So no one paid them any mind at all.

Somehow it was time to go to Rainbow’s house to drop off Shy to her surrogate and platonic loved Sister. Time sometimes moved like that. Just as sometimes you go into a cafe wearing ice skates and no one finds it strange enough to point out.

Pinkie said her goodbyes which consisted of two lots of the word ‘goodbye’, with one spoken to each of them in turn.

It was cold outside, but once more they braved it’s frigid temperature. With Sunny stating “I really love cool things,” she paused, ”like you.”

“I can believe you said that, because it just happened; and I'm a believer!” Then she saw her face in the local mirror shop. It, like the rest of her being, was indeed cool. She gave a smug nod and grin at her own reflection, then took her skates off and hopped on the front of Sunsets motor.

“You can fly that thing?” Sunset asked.

“I can fly anything.”

So they flew down the roads towards Rainbow’s. The question of who wore the only helmet this time was like the question of who wore the pants in the Sunshyne relationship. To which the proper answer was: it's a pair of three legged pants.

Sunset, upon seeing the house of her foe, did the 'native dance of her people'. Which was a back flip off of a motorcycle while yelling, "LEROOOOOOOOOOYYY!!!"

Then landing on the soft snow face down, getting up and sprinting to the front door. Remembering that the meme was incomplete she proclaimed, "JEEENNNNNNNNKIIIINNNS!!"

"Oh my gosh you ran right in," Fluttershy stated.

That Fluttershy statement was a lie though as Sunset had done an emotional one-eighty and stopped at the door to politely knock four times. And who should open the door half an hour later? Well, no other than the one and only Rainbow Dash of Everton.

Dash sensed immediately after she opened the door that she had missed the great pony dance by thirty minutes. She tried to cry on the outside, but ended up imitating Applejack’s technique. Thus no actual tears were visibly shed. Which was really a good thing as you should always stay out of Rainbow’s shed. What?

“What,” Dashie started, “did i tell y’all ‘bout going on a date?”

“Erm, oh yeah! Just do it!” Fluttershy answered with hope very evident on her face.

“Well yes…”

“Hah, don’t you feel dumb?” Sunset asked.

“I did say that; as advice to help you get over Sunset Shimmer the destroyer of my Flutter-sister’s heart!” The prismatic hair themed one glared at the ketchup and mustard hair themed one. “And by the way, your hair looks like condiments.”

“Um isn't your hair literally the pride flag, even though you're very straight.” The pinkett pointed out.

“Well that’s very true, and quite ironic, well done.” She said patting the woman who had spoken on the head.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!” Yelled Sunset in her deep voice.

“I’ll gay you! Sunset Shimmer!”

Fluttershy got understandably very uncomfortable at the thought of her nearly-sister ‘gaying’ her lover. Therefore she simply said, “Icky wicky.”

“I agree with you Shy,” Rainbow said.

“Wow that is so original of you siding with one of your friends over another in less than a heartbeat," Sunset remarked.

“Oh my gosh, just kiss Fluttershy and go home will you!” Rainbow answered back.

“I’d like that. Kind of. I think.” The shy lady spoke.

Sunset relented to all the voices in her head telling her to ‘go get ‘em partner, yeeee haw’ and kissed the beauty before her. Then ran away into the night.

Shy was stuck wondering something that rainbow would later voice, ‘are we just gonna leave her motorcycle there for all eternity?’.

What's that? No it's not the last chapter.

Sunset’s head hurt. She had a tiny headache, right there, in the back of her GIANT face.

But she was tough, tough like a strong tuft of grass. Or like the strong head-banging that was going on, as the entire Apple family listened to their own favourite heavy metal albums, in their respective iPod-nanos. Sunset could not join in with this, for fear of slightly worsening her minor headache, and for fear of heavy metal in general. Doesn’t that genre turn you into a rebel? You cannot turn a rebel into a rebel.

Much like you cannot turn a doggywoofwoof into a doggywoofwoof. Speaking of which Sunset was having her forehead licked by Winona the dog. When suddenly the dog remembered in its small, little brain to not exist in this world, so departed to the Equestrian one.

“For uncopyrighted and element named lyrics both we head-bang for days gone by,” Sunset muttered to herself. Then loudly proclaimed, “Human holidays are so dumb!!”

Realising that she said the loud part quiet, and the quiet part loud. She looked around in alarm then thanked her lucky Princess of the stars, for the fact that the Christmas party hadn’t noticed her 'clown like' blunder. But she knew she wouldn’t get off scot-free another time. For at that very moment the entire Apple clan that had gathered in the apple home with their apple products, suddenly put down said products.

Granny smith moved with purpose towards the black and white TV. Blew the dust off the wired control for it, and hit the power button. The poor relic of a device, turned on as quickly as it could. Not fast enough for Sunset to not grit her teeth in pain at the idea of waiting for absolutely anything. Let alone wait for a mystery like this to resolve itself.

But wait she did, and was ‘rewarded’ by some OLD lass surrounded by corgis on the telly. Actually OLD was granny smith, so this love was definitely from Victorian times!

“My fellow Americans,” the TV woman said, “I am your Queen, now give me your Bronies.”

“Ya wot? Be dis bludy fer reel?” Sunset Britoned in alarm.

"Shhh! " Shhhed most of the four of the apples present. But Apple Bloom who was too young to hear 'Britoned English' covered her ears when her Apple sense went off just before Sunset's strange outburst.

"Why don't you know the Queen of the entire world?" Applejack asked, prying AB's hands from her earwax covered ears.

"Um, er, must have forgotten. Derp!"

"Forgotten what?" Bloom asked.

"I forgot YOU existed!" Sunset answered.

Apple Bloom seemed a little unconvinced. "So, have you forgotten about you know who, and me."

"We can natter 'bout ya Harry Potter fan-fiction later!!" Screeched Granny Smith, "Now let's watch the rest of the annual speech."

The speech concluded with the tried and true saying by Queenie herself. "And I wish you all; a very, merry Christmas."

With what was tradition, the TV caught fire and the family would have to spend the next eleven months fixing and replacing the burnt mess of a device. But right now OH MAH GAUD GET SOME ICE, FOR DAT FIRRRRRRE!!!

They did get ice but only to put in their respective drinks. Then they all slowly drank said beverages after a lengthy toast to Sunset's both poor and rude health. Then spit out the fire with their enchanted ice breath.

How they got ice breath is another story for another audience. LOL. That means you, my current audience don’t get to see it. Ever.

Sunset felt a cold shiver run Up then Down then Up Down again, afterwards Left oh and Right also then both Left and Right repeated. After that she felt Apple Bloom’s ‘Webb Slinger’ twice, and that was just the Start of things.

That was the super special awesome secret code that Princess Twilight Sparkle had programmed into her mind. And that meant glasses Twilight was going to call.

Glasses Twilight called, and Sunset declined it. Her thoughts full of one repeated word. BITCH.

Twilight called everyone else in the household, but Sunset systematically acquired the phones of the residents, and declined each call in silence.

Not at all an uncomfortable silence though, but an unbearably awkward one, for all but the BITCH minded Sunset.

The silence was broken by Fluttershy walking in mid phone-sex with glasses Twilight. “Oh Shimmer come eat your dinner!” Then realising that Sunset was in the room and off of her phones -for some reason sunset had amassed a collection of 3 other mobiles all turned upside down-. Now this for most people would be an issue.

But Fluttershy was now DATING THE SUNSET SHIMMER!! She clearly had so many serious issues, that one more was barely even worth noting.

Laughing out loud, right in her girlfriends face Sunset tried, and failed to compose herself. She then said "LOL what has dinner got to do with sexual intercourse, you're vegetarian, you don't even eat clams!!"

Fluttershy blushed at her girlfriends vast stupidity. "Actually I'm vegan after you let me at last use the Internet, and I looked up cute pictures of animals. One meme led to another, and soon I was 'down the rabbit hell' of the vegan society's homepage ."

Angel bunny kicked its way out of Shy's backpack, and nodded at its owner in agreement. Then kicked itself back in.

Twilight's voice suddenly erupted from the Flutter-Phone and yelled, "Yo my homies, what's up dogs?". It was apparent, clear as day that she was infected once more with some kind of equestrian dark magic. Nothing else could cause someone as pure as glasses Twilight to stoop so low, as to attempt to be street.

However clear as day was not enough for the slight headache suffering Shimmer. So she just stated, "X-Box; off; yes; yes." Without so much as blinking.

This Kinect voice command did not work, causing the Flutter-Blusher to intensify its reddening. Oh, should Sunset's stupidity soon stop or should it not?

No.

The girlfriend stood up and proclaimed, "Wubba lubba dub dub."

No one was impressed. Least of all, the most recent occupant of the festive household, Rainbow Dash. She just said in response, "That was wubba lubba dumb dumb." Staring coldly to the East.

In the East of the world. The very far East. So far in fact, that West was also a viable description, a Russian ate a pickle. It tasted of death, and sewer rats.

Back in Everton, Granny Smith was complaining, “You look so cold rainbow, that just seeing your face makes me shiver.”

“Don’t mind her,” Applejack said jumping into the conversation, much like how a kangaroo jumps to the bottom of a sand dune, “she could complain until she’s blue in the face.”

“Hey!” cried out Granny Smith and Rainbow Dash in surprise unison.

“Err, no offence.” Defaulted AJ.

“Oh well if you don’t mean offence its okay.” Both offendees said, in unison once more, but with two different degrees of sarcasm.

“Speaking of being sarcastic,” Piped up Bloom, “shouldn’t Pinkie be here by now? She’s missing out on some quality wit, which I know she would just adore.”

“Eeyup.” Big McIntosh confirmed.

“What about Sugar Belle, is she coming round to spend the day with us all?” Apple Bloom also asked.

“Nnope” Mac answered.

“Why do you say only two words?” Apple Bloom continued in here onslaught of inquiries.

Big Mac would answer not. When AB figured this out, she just shrugged at her sibling's strangeness. Then moved on with life. You know picking apples, and dating Spider man, and such and such. While Spider man himself will be played by Sir Not-appearing-in-this-fic.

There was harmony for a time. Much to Fluttershy’s pleasure, but it was of course not to last. As the infamous Christmas dinner was to come!

“Soup’s on.” Called Granny Smith to all six other present human beings.

As they sat down Rainbow Dash appeared to have a question but for some reason was withholding it. This didn’t go unnoticed by her sister-Shy. Who simply and silently nudged Rainbow.

The colourful haired one relented and asked, “Why does everything taste of apples?”

“Why do you think?” Sunset replied, determined to get into an argument with her once more.

“No, like even the honey does!”

“The honey is created from the pollen, of flowers, of apple trees. Duh”

“What? Exclusively?”

“Duh.”

“You can’t prove that.”

“Actually we, er, cannot. Good point.”

“Does that mean that you’re stupid now.”

“That’s my secret cap; I’m always stupid.” Sunset smugly replied, expecting the marvel-fanatic household to get it. They all nodded but in a way that seemed to say 'we get the reference and it suits your intellect to a tee'.

Sunset took that as a half victory. And kissed Fluttershy on the cheek. It was a bit awkward seeing as she had to lean on a Lobster and had a Pineapple lodged into her back. This was because she had launched herself at Fluttershy from across the table, and half missed.

The table itself happened to be a gigantic Lazy Susan, which wasn't too convenient for anyone. But only sunset spoke up about it, "I mean, just get a new table. What are you? Lower class, poor folks or something?"

Fortunately she had progressed from cheek kiss to full french kiss much to the surprise of a rather flustered Fluttershy. Therefore the sound that was released was more like the demonic playing of the 'original Pokemon theme song' in reverse and sped up.

This sent a visible shudder up Rainbow's spine, causing her to state, "Fluttershy is a strong independent woman, that don't need no man-child like you Sunset."

"I'll have you know I'm a man-teen, in terms of emotional maturity."

Fluttershy shrunk away from the brewing, epic, argument.

Rainbow stood up. "You're like half a teen."

"Actually I'm like times two of a teenager. And you're like half a comatose patient."

Fluttershy found it in herself to speak in a whisper, "I'm trying to be patient with both of you."

"Well done Fluttershy, " said Sunset.

"Hey I was going to compliment her!"

"Rainbow calm down please." Fluttershy pleaded.

"Yeah Rainbow, what are you getting worked up about?"

Dash took in a large dash of air and spoke, ”I'll tell you exactly what I’m getting worked up about. I was such a lonely child fifteen years ago. I only had imaginary friends, and my own parents (my only living family) had no time for me. That was unless I was being bad, and got their attention in the form of getting sent to the naughty step as punishment.

So I was bad. Real bad. But then I went to this different school. And found her. The one and only Fluttershy. She taught me that it was okay to wait for something. And thanks to her, I then had patients for my old folks. But they still payed next to no attention to me! But I could not relent. I was determined now to be a better person, and it was all thanks to the good nature of Shy. So to this day if ever I'm in doubt I just ask myself what would a brave human like Fluttershy do?

And you know what I never doubted it. Never; except for when I came across a bully by the name of Sunset Shimmer!!”

No one spoke for a while. The whole lot of Apples and friends of Apples just took in the monologue by Rainbow. And even Dahie herself was taken aback by her cunning linguistics at that time.

Finally to everyone's surprise it was Granny Smith who broke the spell of silence. “Fluttershy dear, you're crying.”

“No I'm. Oh right well. It could just be the rain right?”

“Your reign is over Queen bitch!”

“Who said that?”

No one owned up to it.

“I'll find out I have powers you know.”

“So does Spider Man” Apple Bloom stateds victoriously.

“But can he do anything a dung beetle can?” Fluttershy asked her in annoyance.

“Well... No.” She replied defeatedly.

“There, there it's all gonna be okay.” Sunset said, reentering the conversation.

“How do you know that?” Moped the teen.

“‘Cos I'm Queen bitch's bitch."

There was a sharp gasp from nearly everyone. “Isn't bitch a negative word?” Applejack asked.

“Sometimes." Sunset shrugged. "Why do you ask?”

“Because you just made a double negative. Such a thing is strongly looked down upon in these here parts.”

“What parts are those? The redneck parts?” Everyone looked towards Shimmer, at the dinner.

“Oh yeeeeeeah. That's right. Yeah you all are right.”

To break the ice a little Fluttershy offered Sunset to see the band Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust were in.

Sunset finished dinner in silence as that was preferable to answering either way.

After the eating round, came the drinking round. New coke for Apple Bloom. Two lots of two litre Pepsi bottles, for Big Mac. Hard cider for Applejack. Softer cider for Rainbow, and water for the love birds.

Fluttershy had rudely insisted that Sunset had no right to drink anything else. To inflict the pains and torrents of peer pressure, Flutters drank water first, showing her girlfriend and pet (though shimmer was unaware of this at the time; which is ruff like rough bark) that it was okay. The fact that everybody else insisted on Sunset drinking out of the now unused doggy bowl, kinda seemed strange. But you know, talking horse portals.

When they all finished their drinks, they all got more. Duh. When those were done. They wrote their names in the snow outside. Big Mac was the best at this, because he had the biggest, most gargantuan and sexy; middle finger. What?

Sunset was just lapping at her third bowl when she pawsed. Then she bounded over to her girlfriend's lap, licked her face, and asked with only the use of her own pleading eyes 'presents?'.

"Yes." Was all the girl said in return.

Sunset gave Applejack a second look which was also a pleading one.

To which AJ also answered, but not with words, with the action of going outside and retrieving something.

There were slight mummers of confusion from everyone except Sunset Shih Tzu. She was cool; headache-ish, but cool.

When AJ came back inside she was carrying a gift wrapped, guitar shaped object. And there was one question on everyone's mind. What was inside? Even Sunset, as she had forgotten what she had wrapped for the shy girl, was perplexed!

”I got you a guitar?” Questioned Sunset Shimmer, as Fluttershy opened the present.

“Not just any guitar but a basic ass acoustic one that is all my own. Oh Sunset, I love you!”

“Yeah I must have had it transformed from that old electric one I used to play, and I guess I glued on some butterfly wings too?”

“Wow where did you even get fake butterfly wings this time of year?”

“Um yeah fake. Just like the Amber gift! Right? I am smart.”

“More like a wise, old bat-witch!” Rainbow shot the insult across the room to Sunset.

Fluttershy went to hit her in the ear, but missed and hit her epic rainbow beard instead, knocking it clean off in one fell swoop.

Rainbow felt a little lighter and realised her epic facial hair was on the floor. She just stared at it in silence for a full minute while no one moved a muscle.

After the fifty ninth second Sunset interrupted the gazing and motionlessness. She asked Fluttershy if she would play her new guitar for them all. Fluttershy just looked at her trembling hands; she had killed a beard with those hands.

She then lashed out, killing the chapter she was in. Thus ending it early!!

The last chapter (ish)

Sunset awoke, but then went instantly back to sleep. Saying “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

This woke up Apple Bloom, who was on the couch next to the flawed and floor-bedded couple that was SunShyne. The following is what the youngest apple posted on Twitter:

Yesterday was great!! We listened to Fluttershy play acoustic guitar with her multiple murder hands. Fluttershy was really killing the tune of ‘three blind mice’, but then suddenly broke down crying over the fact that potential rodents were visually impaired. This activated Rainbow's trap card, which was named ‘get out of jail free’. Therefore a now beardless Rainbow Dash left the apple house. Dash might have said something under her breath while leaving, something about getting more illegal healing juice from the 'local chippy', but who could tell really.

And because watching Fluttershy cry, for any length of time, would be way worse than prison. The five remaining non-crying humans tried to think of a way to comfort the sobby one.

“Um; there, there?”

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Sunset you’re making it worse, let granny handle this!” Applejack yelled over the wailing.

Granny stepped up to the crying girl with sympathetic eyes.

“DON’T!! CRY!!!”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooowwwwoooooo!” Shy responded, crying even more.

“Are you out of ideas?” Sunset asked the granny.

“Yes.” She answered simply.

“Well actions speak louder anyway.” Sunset stated, as she got up and latched onto her girlfriend in a full body hug. She held the shorter, crying woman's head to her chest. After just a few minutes the sobbs subsided.

"Sniff! Sniff?"

"Yes Shy, your Sunny is here. Now stop crying as fast as you can."

“As fast as I can?” The gradually more happy one relied.

“As fast as you can!” Confirmed the one consoling the gradually more happy one.

"Now I need to go get some fresh air for my little headache. Be back soonish."

"Wait!" Fluttershy got up and rushed to the door in front of her girlfriend. She opened it and stepped out taking a good breath of the crisp air then returned to Sunset. And started giving her mouth to mouth.

"Well played" Sunset gasped, As soon as she was released from the kiss of life.

Then all the girls present yawned causing them to look at Big Mac as if daring him to say something sexist.

He did not. He was wise like that. Instead he just pretended to yawn also as if he was in synchronisation with the group of females.

It was clearly time for bed.

"It's not time for bed," Granny Smith tried to reason, "why I haven't even opened any of my presents."

“Well it's just Christmas Eve so far, you know. A fact that we've only mentioned like nine hundred and ninety-nine times.” Reminded Applejack.

“I didn’t know you could count that high!” Apple Bloom explained, butting into the conversation.

“That's it, go immediately to sleep, right there on the couch.” Applejack ordered. When the command bounced off AB's deflector shields and hit the ‘happy’ couple of SunShyne on the floor, AJ decided to pull out the big guns. This was a pretty neat idea in fact. Especially as this idea was in the form of a swinging digital watch in front of AB’s face, so as to get behind her extended shields. “You are very sleepy...”

“I am very tired?” Bloom attempted to repeat.

“I said ‘sleepy’!”

“You said sleepy”

“What else did I say?”

“You are very sleepy...”

“Darn right I am, I’m so sleepy, I could eat a horse.”

Sunset turned over in her sleep. ”Bitch.” She murmured.

“Language.” Captain Applejack replied, to the sleep talking lady for some reason. Then turned back to her younger sibling. “SLEEP!!”

Apple Bloom began to fall asleep then asked, “Why thought?”

“Because Santa Claus isn’t real.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOO!!!” And with that, sleep found the youth. All tuckered out from the recent revelation.

This was the end of Apple Bloom’s tweet.

Christmas day GO!

Christmas meant getting the heck out of the apple house with your girlfriend. But just as they opened the door they heard a knocking sound on Sunsets stomach. They looked down to see a sleepy kid in a Girl Scout’s uniform, half dozing off and tapping on what she thought was a door, but was actually a human with her tiny, tiny fist.

Thinking it would be funny Sunset got to the ground and played dead in response to the 'violence'. She realised when she was down there that Fluttershy might have to give her the kiss of life for a second time in two days. Hmmmmm. That would be cool.

Instead Fluttershy just got two sticks and started poking the seemingly deceased lady with it, while offering the other stick to the much younger lady. The little one refused, and slowly started to speak in an annoyingly high pitched voice.

"Um, do you mind buying some fresh Girl Scout cookies? If that's okay with you? The only purchase so far was from my mommie." She complained in an unnatural, screech of a voice.

This made Sunset stand back up so as to walk past the small merchant. Then turning back to retrieve Fluttershy and condescend the cookie seller saying, “You’re just a reverse trick-or-treater.”

At this harsh remark the Girl Scout cried a single mechanical tear. This caused the robot child to catch fire.

"Damn Sunset, did you just kill a kid?"

"It wasn't sentient, and not even close to sapient." Sunset smiled at Shy. "Trust me I know computers."

“Have you ever made one that can love?”

“What would be the point? Synthetic or organic, nothing could love like I love you!”

“Is that why all your girlfriend-bots ran away, and are a plague to the polar bears of the north?”

“What? How? I made them in total secret!”

Fluttershy just shrugged. “Bears talk to each other, through the winds.”

“Talk about a wind problem.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Yes but you’re MY wind problem.”

“I’m your favourite wind problem right?”

Fluttershy contemplated this for a long time as they both walked finally giving up, just saying,“I suppose...”

“Oh dear.”

“OH DEER!!”

“Um, it’s pronounced dear, my dear.” Sunset tried to correct her girlfriend.

Fluttershy turned Sunset’s head up to the sky.

“It’s a superman, it's a plane, no its bird.”

“Wrong on all counts.” Flutter said with a frown. “Can you seriously not see the parachuting, Disneyland costumed, stag?”

“Listen Shy, there is a whole aboveness, worth of above, up there.” Sunset pointed at the sky. “And what's more how would you even pull the parachute cord in a costume, the likes of which you just described?”

“Um the magic of Disney?”

“What up bitches?!” Yelled the newly landed stag.

“Well if it isn't my other ex?” Sunset rhetorically asked, looking on at Flash Sentry’s costumed body.

Fluttershy raised her hand high. “Oh, oh I can answer. Choose me!”

“Fluttershy I choose you!”

Fluttershy stood in front of Sunset and yelled, “Shy! Shy!” As intense battle music suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Flash released from his pocket a true monster. He got out a tiny violin. And played it! But nothing happened, as the battle music had already intensified and was playing over the small instrument.

Now it was Sunset’s turn. “Fluttershy use sing!”

But Fluttershy was loafing around (she was far too high a level for Sunset’s meagre ten badges. Flash saw this, and decided he wanted to have add a Shy to his collection, thus he threw a premier ball at her.

This got knocked back by Sunset, then it bounced around, and around, until it landed on Flash's forehead. Leaving a visible dent in the upper face of Flash who threw his head back in pain. But then he turned red, turned small, and entered the premier ball. Which wobbled weakly three times, then remained still.

Sunset looked to Shy. Fluttershy Simply took the premier ball, and put it in her backpack for Angel to play with. She smiled at her girlfriend. “Oh sunset, you planned this? Well now I’m just so super happy-face.”

Seeing the mad grin on her Pokemon of choice, Sunset also smiled. She went to say something, but was halted by Fluttershy placing a fist on her face.

“Hush now, quiet now.
It’s time to rest your egg-head.
Hush now, quiet now.
It’s time to have gay sex”

“Oh that’s me” Spoke up glasses Twilight. From somewhere. The SunShyne pair searched around for the interrupting girl.

They were interrupted from the search for the interruption girl, by Flash. He released himself from his backpack placed ball. “Was that my waifu?!”

Glasses Twilight answered Flash “Eww, straaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaight!”

The Sentry, who strangely didn’t enjoy the fact he was in the minority, being straight as he was. He then ran off to find a guitar to cry with.

Sunset, who was looking in Fluttershy’s pockets, finally found the phone that was still in a call with glasses Twilight from yesterday! Noting this as something that would have to be solved later she ended the call and looked to her girl friend. “Well, if this hasn't been one long hearth's warming miracle I don’t know what is!

“LOL.” Was Fluttershy’s only cryptic reply as they walked off together. They didn’t know their destination, but isn't the mystery what makes life worthwhile?