My Life on a Cassette Tape

My name is Crescendo. Yes, my parent's were music geeks. Yes, I'm... well, I was at one point, a music geek. My life has been a convoluted mess for a while now. Beyond all that, you might be wondering how you got your hands on what amounts to my life story. To be frank, I would never pass this off to anypony, but I'm writing this in case somepony finds it; give you something to understand and have fun for as long as I don't find out about this. Trust me, if I'm still alive, I'll find you and get back my journal and you'll have no recollection of this whole story. Then again, I might be dead and this will serve as the world's raunchiest memoir... well, it'll be up there at least.

I was born and raised in west Manehatten by parents born and raised in Fillydelphia. My childhood up to my eighteenth birthday was fairly normal as far as things go. I went to school, did my homework - or at least pretended to -, went on play dates with my friends, grew up, played video games into the unholy hours of the night, and tried to get a date or two. Life was grand for as much as I bash on it, and honestly, I miss it. True, my life wasn't a dream, but I do wish it wasn't what it is. That much coming from the guy who has lived this life for the last long while.

Anyway, let's get down to it. My Eighteenth Birthday...