My Life on a Cassette Tape

"FUCK ME!" I roared, slamming my fist into the wall, no longer caring.

"Cress!" Raven ran over to me, not daring to put her hands on me as I raged. "Cress, what's wrong?"

"I am! That's what's wrong!" I shouted, pulling my now bloodied fist away from the small crater I had put into Berry's wall. "Fuck me! I thought I was being so smart! I thought I was doing things carefully and lo and behold, I FUCK it up royally!"

"What are you talking about?" Raven said, finally bringing herself to grab me. "Cress, you need to communicate. What are you talking about? What's gone wrong?"

"Last night," I said, "I was teasing the ever loving daylights out of Button. I thought I'd get in one last ribbing by having him walk Berry and Spry, having them serve as his escort. It was good for a laugh." I said, snorting at my own ineptitude as the magnitude of my mistake weighed down on me. "The major reason I walked those two around yesterday like that was because I wanted to see if I could draw out any artifact users. It worked, I guess, but when I sent him walking home with them, it would've only have been as obvious as possible that he and I are connected!

"FUCK!" I tore from Raven's grasp and continued to stamp about, my impotent rage boiling inside of me. "I thought I was being careful. I thought 'oh, everypony needs an escort' and then I saddled him with the single WORST choice of escort! Just for a joke! I am an IDIOT!"

"Cress, you need to calm down." Raven said, her tone steady.

"And now we got both Starlight and Button down for the count!" I went on, ignoring her as I paced about, furious at no pony but myself.

"Cress, snap out of it!" Raven shouted as she slapped me. I rubbed my cheek as I looked at her, mildly confused. "No pony is going to be doing better if you are screaming and berating yourself! You need to pull yourself together and-"

"And what, exactly?" An unfamiliar voice asked. Suddenly we each fell, a wave of pleasure hitting each of us. Looking up I saw three figures entering the house. FUCK! I should've known they were right behind him! I looked over and saw that the recorder was still on the dining room table, and even though that was a short few steps away, the distance was immeasurably large as yet another orgasm wracked all of our frames.

Looking to the three, I saw Gunther, fiddling with the broach that now hung like a good luck charm on a necklace. Twilight was right, but I had little ability to do anything about it now.

"Which one is the trouble maker?" An imposing military mare asked, looking over all of the ponies in their puddles of cum. Gunther pointed at me with a snide smirk.

"That one." He said. I frantically looked around for something, anything, that might help me in this situation. And then I saw it. I shot forward with what little control I had left in me, and grabbed on to Button's Joy Boy. Before Gunther could react, I did what I did best with video games - button mashing.

Rainbow sighed, slamming the enormous volume in front of her closed. She had been sitting here reading like this since way too early in the morning, and had little to show for it. It didn't help she couldn't really absorb the information that was presented. She had tried to fly around the room with the gigantic book, and though it would certainly do for her daily weighted flight training, the book was heavier than she could handle for too incredibly long. Not to mention its particular shape and size made it an odd object to hold and fly with.

Standing up, she paced about the room, thinking as hard as she could on what she had just read, of which more and more was already slipping out. This was immensely frustrating. It didn't help that the book was more clinical descriptions than practical applications. Rainbow simply lacked the background in fancy doctor lingo to be able to help with this entire situation. She looked over her notes, and was only more frustrated, realizing that, beyond an admittedly nice sketch of a new flight routine, there was nothing of use on the paper.

In a huff, she stormed across the castle's library towards the side room where Twilight was testing various spells and physical and psychological methods to get through to Starlight. "Hey, Twilight, I can't fi-"

"Oh Celestia, yes!" Twilight screamed. Looking up, she saw Twilight in the throes of passion with a disheveled looking Starlight between her legs. They hadn't noticed her, somehow, and the sight and realization that it was a sight she wasn't supposed to see made it HOT. Rainbow wanted to join in, but knew she hadn't been invited. She was able to piece together there was a silencing spell cast on the room that was intent on keeping her unaware, made evident with how loud Twilight was yelling. Stepping out of the room, she closed the doors with a soft click and went back to the front door. She'd fly over to Berry's place and deliver the news that absolutely nothing of progress had been made. She may or may not let slip that Twilight and Starlight were having a go at it in a side room, but that would only be out of her duty to report all the facts. Totally not because it was hot and embarrassing.

A knock came at the door, and made Rainbow pause for a second. Who could be knocking at a time like this? Derpy was never this early with mail, so it had to be a social and work related call. For Twilight's sake, Rainbow hoped it wasn't business. It would be quite the awkward business if it was that. Reaching the door, she pulled it open a crack.

"Hello?" Rainbow called out, looking around, seeing a pony she knew. "Oh hey, Applebloom, how are you?" She said opening the door more, only to find a group of ponies behind her, including Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Berry Punch, Pinkie Pie, and a very cross looking Applejack. "Hey guys... what's up?" She could already feel the tension in the air.

"Inside. Now." Applebloom said without her usual country twang and with an above normal amount of forcefulness that had Rainbow immediately stepping to the side for the ponies in a daze, her brain still trying to play catch up.

"So... what's-"

"Cress done pulled a case of the bodysnatchers on my sister!" Applejack shouted, clearly having been steeping in her anger for a while, as soon as Rainbow had closed the door behind them. Rainbow blinked a few times, looking at Applebloom.

"What?" Rainbow was, needless to say, quite confused by all of this. Applebloom still looked like Applebloom, had he pulled the same stunt he had with Berry on this filly.

"It was a spur of the moment action. I didn't have much of a choice as far as the results." Applebloom said in a way that just confirmed that it was Cress.

I sighed, kicking the ground as I continued to absolutely loath myself for what I had done. In a moment of panic, I had had to use Button's artifact to 'bamf' at least a part of me out of the situation. It ended up that Applejack's group had found Rarity and Sweetie Belle, who had found Applebloom. Rarity had wanted to keep AJ's little sister safe, as much as she had wanted to keep her own safe. Walking up to the house, suddenly Applebloom stumbled and I was then... well - for a lack of a better, less sexual, term - inside of her.

"I fucked it up, gu-" I began, only to be slapped up the back side of my head. I looked to AJ crossly.

"You might not be my sister, but I sure as heck ain't gonna let you mouth off like that in her body." She said sternly. "And don't you think of using her to get off! You are a visitor and you will treat her with respect! You got that, bub?" I nodded. She was right, I did have to be careful in this body, more so than in Berry's. When I was in Berry's form, I was still me, but now I was straight up in a different body.

"Of course, sorry." I said rubbing the back of my head, my momentary anger settling down. "What I meant to say was that I had messed up." I looked to the ponies about me. "Button is in a bad state, and it is more than likely that Raven, Periwinkle, Fluttershy, and my body are now in the same basket."

"What kind of trouble?" Rainbow asked wearily.

"Well... they turned Button into a sex crazed, effeminate, himbo. He wasn't sexually violent like Starlight, at least, but he certainly had... something done to him."

"That's... that's not good. That's definitely not good." Rainbow confirmed. "Oh wow, hey, we're gonna have to tell Twilight. I guess they ain't with you then?" Rainbow asked, peering over us as if we were standing in front of the ponies in question.

"No, we had to run from Berry's place. Ends up Gunther is back in action and with a vengeance. He knocked us all down before we could act. I was only barely able to use Button's artifact to get out in this way." I said motioning to the Applebloom that I was.

"Button's an artifact user?" More than one pony questioned. It struck me at that point that that had been one of the points of information I hadn't told anypony besides my mares.

"Yes, and his power let's him do... well, what I've ended up doing to Applebloom." I explained lamely. "But now's not the time to be explaining his power, we need to get together with Twilight to plan our next moves. Carefully this time. My recklessness has cost us, and we can't let it establish a pattern." I said, looking to Rainbow.

"Right... I'll go see if I can pry Twilight from her... work." Rainbow replied awkwardly as she quickly scampered away.

"Totally boning." Berry whispered in my ear.