Author's Note

Warning this chapter contains the following elements that some readers may find distasteful or even disturbing:

• Experimental Use of Accents
• My Writing Style
• Artillery
• Senseless Similes and Metaphors
• Warnings
• Lists

Side E - Chapter 1: Relief

We all laughed. Having seen the Emperor - or just Stone Heart at this point - walk off like that, we couldn't help but laugh. The tension of the moment had been so massive, expecting another rebuttal just after they had signed. Somehow, beyond even what we had expected, we had managed to get through the entire scenario in have better condition than even Gunther had left us in.

"Here," Double said between bouts of that contagious laughter of his, "here we have a case of the final boss being a let down. Frikin' thought we had to contend with something like... I dunno, an actual threat?"

"It's what happens when you have the powers of time on your side." I commented, my own laughter abating as I just let the soothing feeling of victory wash over me. We had won. Beyond all odds, beyond all probabilities, we had won while riding by the seat of our pants. I might've felt cheated of a good challenge, but after feeling what it was like to get a challenge from some of the Empire's compadres, I was more than happy to take it without any back talk.

"Do you think that it's actually over?" Raven asked, catching me slightly off guard. By the look of her she didn't seem to have laughed at all. "It was far too easy."

"Hubris seems to be the reason for that." Twilight noted, dabbing the tears from her eyes as she settled down. "The Emperor was a bit to full of himself. He wasn't exactly prepared for a pony that could stop time despite knowing, or so we could assume, that we had said artifact."

"What if... what if we're missing something." Raven asked, still seeming to be confused. "He might've set a trap for us with that... what if-"

"Raven, darling, don't stress yourself over it." Rarity said with a gentle smile. "He lost because he was blinded by his previous successes. We won, and that is that."

"And now it's time to celebrate!" Pinkie shouted, firing off a cannon in the hall. Instead of shattering crystal, the room was filled with confetti and streamers. "I'm gonna whip up some invitations, we could do it in the Council room! Ooh!" She suddenly disappeared, leaving no trace of herself or her cannon beyond the confetti that still gently drifted down.

"Should... should we be worried about that?" Double asked, looking around. It took me a moment to realize he hadn't been to a Pinkie party. A second later I realized I hadn't technically been to one either. Sure, there was the party I got when I first moved, but that was... well it was something of an unwitting collaboration between the pink party pony and myself.

"Nah, Pinkie's just... well she's just 'erself." Applejack dismissed. "She's unique is all, nuthing dangerous... mosttuh the time." Suddenly, Pinkie zipped back inside, throwing up a mail sack that let loose letters that floated gently down perfectly before each of us in an act of irreverence to conventional logic. Opening the envelope I pulled out the... vanilla scented paper. There was something else beyond vanilla, something initial inspection wasn't naming beyond the fact it was familiar to me.

Reading it over the first time cause me to reread it for a second time, then a third. I blinked a few times, and then looked up to see how the table was doing. The Elements and Starlight all seemed to be some level of pleased with the arrangement on the paper. Button and Brass were both pleased with what they read, though they seemed more pleasantly surprised than the general pleased of the Elements. Cream Heart was... rather unreadable at the moment. My mares were taken by surprise, though Berry and Periwinkle were more excited in their own ways while Raven was seeming to be encountering an error. I could practically see smoke floating out of her ears as she failed to comprehend the letter and its sudden foisting upon her.

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were... exceptionally close together while reading their invite for two ponies whose relationship was somewhat a secret - then again secrecy was overrated at this point. Sultry Rose and Stellar Afterglow were in the middle of looking between their papers and each other with ever more devious looks - another pair for the pleased camp. Puppershy and Gunther were impassively reading of off Dick Slut's paper, the stallion looking... I believe the term was 'gobsmacked'. Finally my eyes fell on Double and Thyme. They were both exceedingly red. It was almost ridiculous how strong their blushes were at the moment.

"So..." I began, clearing my throat. "Who wants to volunteer to get the pizzas for the orgy?"

"I'm sure she'd be alright if you two decided not to come along." I offered sincerely. Double stood in the threshold of Berry's... my house, Thyme standing behind him, looking equally unsure as her stallion. It made sense, they were basically walking into a trap as far as their V cards were concerned. 'Pinkie Pie invites you to a day of fun, food, and fucking!' A very short, to the point invitation - not to mention that I had since realized the other smell on the letter was the distinct smell of Pinkie's sweet femcum. The implications were on the ever growing list of things I had little interest in understanding.

"I don't want to be a spoil sport." Double said, looking back towards his mare, his face riddled with conflict. "She's going to the trouble of setting the whole thing up on short notice."

"To be fair, it was her idea to make it short notice as opposed to giving us a date in the future." I countered. It was likely set for the very afternoon of the peace talks to make sure that everypony could be in attendance. She wanted everypony in on the action and wanted to happen on a day we needed the party most. It barely gave us all time to go back home - or to the luggage in the case of Thyme and Double - and get into something suitable for the occasion. True, the time was more to grab all of our toys from home than getting a change of clothes, but since some of us wanted to be able to walk home afterwards in clean smelling clothes, we weren't going to say no to the opportunity.

"What do you think, Thyme?" Double said with a sigh, looking to her with an expression that likely communicated his feelings better than he could with words. The mare closed her eyes for a moment, thinking for a good bit before sighing herself.

"I suppose we could go to at least be part of the less... lascivious portion of the festivities." She acquiesced, though I bet if she had said they weren't going that Double would've been alright with that too.

"Does that mean you're alright with watching everypony else getting it on if it comes to it?" I asked even as they walked out of the door towards the Arcano-Wagon. "Just wanna know where the boundaries are. I don't want to step on any toes tonight."

"I mean..." Double began, looking over to Thyme again. "Honestly at this point we've seen a decent portion of the rest of the ponies naked. Some of them were even doing it earlier while we watched."

"I've seen porn." Thyme shrugged. "If they can show me something I haven't already seen... I'll just consider it a learning experience."

"We aren't going to touch anypony, though." Double said, looking towards me, no uncertainty in his voice with this point. He knew where some of the boundaries were.

"I dunno, I'm likely to kiss you at some point." Thyme said offhandedly, catching Double off guard. Maybe not as many boundaries as he thought.

"We'll be sure to keep the fun times away from the some-to-be-weds." I said, ribbing Double. He just shook his head before moving past me, patting me on the shoulder as he did. I watched them mount up in the back of the wagon, a thought striking me. They had said a month from now was the date. I began to wonder, even as I took my seat, how much I should be trying to prepare.

I supposed, as any good stallion would in my case, that they had the vast majority already in their heads. I still had to figure out what kind of present I'd give them. I might also need to get fitted for a suit. I was sure that either Thyme or Double would let me in on the dress style they were aiming for with enough time to act on it. True enough, I could just tell my recorder to give me a suit, but that felt like an abuse at this point. It wasn't like I had a mare whose blood was so rich a drop was more expensive than my entire being. Oh wait...

Sometimes I wished I was a changeling. Being able to think about wearing clothes and then suddenly finding yourself in those clothes would certainly be nice. Of course, I wasn't exactly the most inventive sort of guy, so I was more than likely to be the sort to use the power to be able to roll out of bed and find myself going from nonexistent boxers to nonexistent jeans and t-shirt. Either way, being a changeling did come with its share of downsides. I was sure of it. I just had to find them. Beyond the still present social prejudice of course. That only hit hard if you hid it for years on end and had kids with somepony who you didn't tell. Or so I was told.

The castle hit completely different as we walked through the exact same halls as before. The walls were the same, but now covered in signs for the invited guests. Even as the noonday sun rose ever higher we were already preparing for a bash that many ponies would've reserved for the night - evening at least. It somehow made it feel that much more naughty. As if noonday fucking and nighttime fucking were somehow different beyond the time of day. Kinky day sex certainly was the type of thing that only could happen around our group of friends - or so I told myself. I had little reference for any other group of friends.

"Welcome to the party!" Pinkie bounced into view, bits of her extra bouncy without cloth being involved. "Clothes check is right over there, make sure to put your stuff in your labeled box!" She pointed off to a corner of the room where a familiar shelfing unit sat, a flood of memories from the Sugar Cube Corner bash coming into my mind's eye.

All of my mares and I were taking our stuff off even as we approached the boxes while Thyme and Double explained themselves to Pinkie in as best of a way as they could. Their situation was certainly odd, even I could realize that while having an admittedly rarer, and therefore odder, living arrangement. Taking off my pants and underwear in one go, a thought tickled at the back of my head, waving about frantically, begging for attention as it insisted something had been forgotten. Something that was very important.

One quick inspection later I just shrugged. I had all my parts exposed, all clothing in the right box. I had the recorder on a lanyard that could be taken off with relative ease once we got down and dirty. I even knew for a fact that Twilight had taken the other artifacts and had had them sealed in similar arrangements to what Dark Stone would've been stored in. I hadn't intended to bring snacks or drinks, so I wasn't forgetting those. I had my phone on ring and charging by the clothes check. All my mares were here, so that wasn't it. The check list seemed filled out properly. All that was left for it was to enjoy the nigh-... afternoon of sexy fun.

Walking up to Button I gave him a smile that might have won third place in the county fair. Button returned the gesture with a nod and lifting of his cup. Brass was... present I supposed. A twang of instinct kept me from being entirely comfortable around the mare, but her being naked certainly helped in making sure she wasn't as much of a danger with concealed weapons - this unfortunately also meant I was also essentially disarmed beyond the lanyard with the recorder which she might easily take with a swift motion. Honestly, beyond seeing her handcuffed and with me holding a sword above her, I don't think there was a position she could be in in which she wasn't still a threat. Maybe two swords would do it...

"How are you two doing?" I asked, grabbing drinks for my mares and I, keeping a corner of my eye dedicated to the massive mare. "Gotten up to much fun?"

"Plenty of fun, it's wonderful having her around the house." Button said, a minor blush taking his features, a twitch of his erect dick going completely unnoticed by myself. "Thank you for letting that go through. We're very happy because of it."

"It was for the best, I suppose." I admitted. It was true as far as I was concerned. Having Brass taken care of by somepony that wasn't me was almost a relief in some ways. Sort of like having the comfort knowing that a large dog you almost got is being taken care of by a loving family. You might wish you had certain experiences from owning that dog, but in the end it was for the better somepony else with less on their plate was around to do it instead.

...

Apparently I was more tired than I thought. That simile was beyond the realms of sensibility.

"How are things going with you and your mares?" Button asked, bringing me back to the moment. As if on cue, my mares made me felt like a sentai ranger as various poses were taken up without a second of hesitation. Berry swooned backwards onto my shoulder, resting the arch of her back along my arm and the crown of her floofy mane against my face, straining her eyes all the way up to get a look at me, her infuriatingly sexy smirk painted across her features. Periwinkle hung onto my other shoulder, pressing her boobs against my arm, looking up to me with puppy eyes. Raven, for her part, wrapped herself around one of my legs, looking up at me in a position that put her quite close to a part of me that was showing its appreciation at the sudden attention that was being payed to me.

"About that well." I replied after swallowing hard. Button nodded, his pickle getting into as much of a pickle as mine. It didn't help that Raven and Periwinkle both picked that moment to exacerbate the problem by Raven nestling into my crotch with her head while Periwinkle 'accidentally' grazed my boner with her leg.

"Would you, like, like me to suck you off, Button?" Brass asked in such a way that even more alarm bells rang out. From the 'hyper specific' and 'critical' bit to trying to be a stereoty-

On reflection, trying to have deep thoughts in a room where everypony except two were completely undressed and more than willing to get sexy with most everypone else was not bright. Raven giving my balls a gentle suck and Berry letting her one hand lull onto my dick, fingers touching both sides of it with a slow pumping action, did not help mental activity. Well... that wasn't true. There was plenty of mental activity. A CT scan would've shown plenty of brain activity. It just so happened that few of those areas that were active were areas concerned with higher reasoning or deeper thought processes than 'what's the fastest and sexiest way to rail three mares?'

"Twilight, we're sorry for not giving previous notice to our arrival but we heard about the inci-!" A regal voice began, pausing as its wielder took in the scene before them. "dent..." Slowly turning my head, I took in the sight of... ~~Celestia damned~~ Celestia and Luna. That thought from before threw up its hands in exasperation as it grabbed its little hat and brief case and walked out the door. They stood fully clothed in the entrance to the room where Pinkie had set up the decorations. The moment moved slower than molasses on an iceberg in the arctic. We - the naked many - looked upon them - the clothed few - and they too looked on us all. All of the 'us all'.

We stared. They stared. No pony moved, fearing the first to move would somehow be reduced to a pile of ash in front of the diarchs. We were naked in front of the mothers... well, more like mother and estranged aunt of the entire nation. We were caught with our pants down and our dicks in our hands by a more 'mom' mom than any of us had met. I slowly blinked.

"Back sister! The bewitching is still afoot!" Luna shouted, shoving Celestia back, her horn immediately flaring into a blaze of arcane energy.

...

...

Frik.