The Were ... Thing

by MisterNick

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bat Pony, Other, Trixie, Caramel, Slice of Life, Berry Punch
Length: 3704

Sassaflash has a problem.

Sassaflash has a problem. When she wakes up she doesn't know what she's done the night before. Then other things come up that just fuel her questions even further. She's going to need some help.

Published 2020-03-02 04:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-02 04:50:01 UTC

Were oh Were are you

Some feelings never change. A long soft kiss with a kindred spirit near sunset was always nice. The elation of winning the gold at the Friendship Games was better. But without question the one feeling that Sassaflash knew best, and liked least, was that after a night of blackout whatever it was she’d been doing.

Even before she opened her eyes, the aquamarine pegasus felt the room spin. Once opened though, her heart began to pound not with elation but a temporary fear of the unknown room she found herself in. The dresser, nightstand, all of it really were like the remains of a Saturday afternoon yard sale. Unfortunately for Sassaflash, she felt like Sunday morning after a pub crawl.

It wasn’t until aroma of coffee wafted through the bedroom’s doorway that Sassaflash’s panic began to ebb. It was a specific scent, bitter, but with the nutty scent of macadamia and hazelnut. She only knew one pony that drank her coffee that way. Yet, as her panic ebbed her stomach lurched and Sassaflash knew she had to move and fast.

Even though her legs felt like noodles attached to bowling balls Sassaflash dragged herself from her room and down the hall to the bathroom. She leaned on the wall the entire way. She flicked on the light and saw the Porcelain God in front of her. Her stomach lurched again and in a second her head hung over the toilet, repenting the many unknown sins from the previous night.

It felt like it took longer than it had to find absolution. It always did. Back when she was in her college sorority days, Kilo Epsilon Gamma respectively, there were several mornings she missed a class or two because of the need to worship in such a way. Sometimes Sassaflash was lucky and enough to hold her mane back. Today wasn’t such a day.

When she’d confessed her last, Sassaflash wiped her mouth and looked into the bowl. She shook her head, slightly exhausted, but feeling better. She flushed the toilet and sent the indigestible mass on its way, her one thought ‘Not again’ repeating in her brain as she prepared for the rest of the day.

Once she’d showered and brushed her teeth Sassaflash headed for the kitchen. There her suspicion of whose house she was in was confirmed when she saw the raspberry colored earth pony in the kitchen with a mug of coffee and the morning paper. It was Berry Punch, one of her sorority sisters.

Berry Punch was one of the most reliable sisters she’d had back in college. She was often the one who’d held Sassaflash’s mane when she’d partied too hard. She could also drink any pony under the table and not wake up feeling the after effects. Many were the jock that had attempted to challenge her in various alcohol related contests but not one had succeeded in beating her. It was truly legendary but, due to the fact that Berry Punch also had frequent bouts of vertigo, she’d earned a reputation for drunkenness.

“I thought it was you,” said Sassaflash with a smile, “You’re the only one I know who drinks that fancy coffee.”

Berry Punch looked up from her paper across to her friend and answered, “When I buy coffee I like to savor it. Most ponies wouldn’t know a good cup of coffee if it cracked them across the head. But right now that’s not what’s on my mind. What I want to know is why’d you leave the front door open last night?”

Sassaflash felt the blush rise in her cheeks. She looked away from her friend and rubbed one of her forehooves across the back of her head. In truth, Sassaflash didn’t even remember coming over that evening much less going out that night. She bit lower lip and offered up an apology that elicited a sigh from Berry Punch. “You need to be much more careful Sassy. Something came in last night and … I think it was the same thing that made the front page of the paper.”

Sassaflash looked at the front page of the paper. Its headline read Unknown Monster Wreaks Havoc. She skimmed the article. Something had destroyed the local school, smashed up a grocery store and gnawed on various things about town. Sassaflash shot a look to Berry, “What do you mean it was here?”

Berry Punch pointed to the drapes and then the carpet. The drapes that had once depicted a series of tumbling chili peppers did not match the tan carpet that adorned the living room save for one thing, both had bites taken out of them. Sassaflash blanched at the sight.

“Didn’t something similar happen to you not too long ago?”

Sassaflash nodded and grabbed a mug from the pantry. She poured herself some coffee before heading to the fridge and getting some milk which she added; then took a sip and sighed. She felt some tears slowly begin to work their way up as she said, “It’s why I’m here. Something ate my house and wrecked the Weather Factory. I didn’t know who else I could…”

Berry Punch pulled her into a sideways embrace, making sure not to spill the coffee. “It’s fine. Just remember to close the door next time okay? Things can be replaced. Ponies can’t.”

“Thanks.”

Berry Punch released Sassaflash from the embrace and looked down at her coffee, “I see you still put milk in it.”

Sassaflash smiled and lifted the mug to her lips, “Well I like my coffee like I like my stallions: tan.”

“Speaking of how is Caramel? Are you two still …”

Sassaflash interrupted Berry Punch with a grumble. On several occasions over the past month or so she’d tried to see him but he’d blown her off with, in her opinion, a series of lame excuses. Then the previous week she’d gone by his place and could have sworn she heard the voice of a female inside and saw a surfboard resting against the couch through the window. Caramel didn’t own a surfboard. “It’s complicated,” said Sassaflash quietly as she looked at the drapes, “Everything with me these days seems to be.”

After her coffee Sassaflash left Berry Punch’s house and surveyed the damage. From the collapsed school house all the way up Cupcake Avenue to the grocery store she noted the bite marks and remnants of chaos that had plagued Ponyville while the townsfolk slept. Truly, it was a spectacle of destruction.

The clock struck noon when Sassaflash finally took a seat on the park bench. She leaned against its back rest and let the sun warm her face. Sassaflash’s wings were killing her and her hooves were equally sore. She knew for certain she was the one who’d eaten the drapes and carpet, that morning in the bathroom had proven that. The why however, eluded her.

She’d been to the doctor, a few of them in fact. Each time she’d gone she’d received a clean bill of health. No matter what she’d told them they couldn’t find anything wrong outside of whatever it was she ate. It had been frustrating.

She let a low tired sigh escape her lips as she watched the little foals and fillies run about. If anybody was happy about the school being destroyed it was them. From them her gaze drifted along the tree line until it stopped at a wagon parked near the edge of the park.

It was wooden and painted purple white and yellow trim. On the trim various stars and flares accented it. It looked like a traveler’s wagon, or at least what Sassaflash understood to be one of their wagons. She’d heard tales of how they were gifted prognosticators and that in fact they were capable of seeing between worlds. Perhaps whoever lived in the wagon could help. With little to go on Sassaflash rose to her hooves and slowly crossed the park to it.

At first nobody appeared to be around. The shades were drawn and the entire wagon felt empty. In spite of the outward appearance Sassaflash pressed her ear against the door and thought she could hear the distinct sound of light snoring. She knocked. There was no answer. So, she knocked again and thought she heard some movement. In response Sassaflash pounded hard on the door and called out to whoever might be inside.

The door flung open to reveal a blue unicorn with a white albeit messy mane. Her barrel was covered with crumbs and her eyes were slightly bloodshot. “Who dares interrupt the Great and Powerful Trixie during her cookie and nap time,” demanded the unicorn.

“You’re a traveler right?” asked Sassaflash.

“Trixie has been to many places and performed great feats of …”

“Could I get my fortune told?”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed at the rather rude interruption and slowly backed away as she closed the door in front of her.

“Wait! I have money!”

The door stopped closing and there was a long pause. Sassaflash’s pulse quickened as she attempted to give Trixie the best pleading smile she could. “It’s a matter of life and death. Please.”

“Twenty bits to enter the wagon of the Great and Powerful Trixie or go the flip away.”

Sassaflash reached into her satchel and slid the coins to her. The unicorn’s horn glowed as the coins levitated off of the ground over to her. She watched as Trixie counted the coins quickly before the unicorn told her to wait outside for a moment.

From within the wagon the sounds of clattering combined with muttering came to her. Sassaflash waited quietly until, with great fanfare and a small explosion the door to the wagon opened in a shower of sparks. “Enter if you dare bluish pegasus and behold the fantastical fortune telling abilities of Trixie the Wise and Powerful.”

“I thought you were the great and powerful?”

“Different bit. Have a seat.”

Sassaflash sat across a small table from Trixie who now wore a purple cape and sported a pointy hat. The inside of the wagon was equally tiny as was the crystal ball which couldn’t have been much larger than a grapefruit. She was about to ask for her money back when Trixie extended a hoof, “Show me the bottom of your right hoof.”

Sassaflash did as she was told. Trixie gazed at it. After a period of consideration Trixie finally said, “You have trouble with your love life yes? Trixie sees all. You like a mare, but she does not notice you at all.”

Sassaflash blinked, “No. That’s not it at all.”

“It’s not?” Trixie looked at the hoof again before she reached under her table and produced a small camera. She took a snapshot of the hoof, “My associates will want to see this.”

Sassaflash rolled her eyes, “The reason I’m here …”

Trixie hocked spittle onto the frog of Sassaflash’s hoof. The pegasus’ frown was immediate but Trixie didn’t seem to care as she gazed at it. “Ah yes … not mare. Trixie sees that the pony in front of her is cursed.”

“Cursed? How am I cursed?”

Trixie levitated the spit covered hoof in front of the pegasus’ face, “You see those dots near the center? It is the mark of one who is cursed. A transformative type probably. When the moon is full and bright even the nicest of ponies will change in its light. Or so they say. Trixie fell asleep when her mentor started to get specific.”

Sassaflash wiped her hoof off, “Well, what can I do to stop it? Or can I?”

“Trixie knows of someone who can help but for that name you will need to give Trixie fifty bits.”

“Fifty bits? That’s outrageous!”

“That is the price of interrupting Trixie’s nap and cookie time. So pay up or make like a banana.”

Sassaflash’s funds were severely depleted. She wasn’t sure how she was going to get more what with the lack of gainful employment. She secretly hoped that the place Trixie had sent her to was less expensive than the services of the traveler.

The business was located on the shady part of Ponyville. It was noted as such due to the overgrown trees that covered the buildings and left them in the shadows. It was incredibly difficult to navigate the branches while flying, so that meant walking which took most pegasi much longer. By the time she’d reached the address the sun was starting to sink below the horizon.

It was a small if unremarkable shop tucked behind a couple of poplar trees. From the outside the roof appeared to be in repair even though the sign was somewhat faded. Sassaflash poked open the door, which rang a bell and entered the shop. From what she could see the shelves were neatly organized with all manner of odd potions, reagents and other objects. To her right a pony stood behind the counter and spoke to a white unicorn with sunglasses and a wild blue mane who apparently spoke quietly.

“… telling you that it’s not a tuna,” said the salespony, “You said her dad was in finance and that she had rows of sharp pointed teeth. … Look if it doesn’t work I’ll refund your money the next time you come in but for tonight just stick her in the bathtub and make sure she keeps her gills submerged in the water and add the potion to it.”

Sassaflash examined some of the bottles and pouches on the shelves quietly, not quite sure what she was looking for or how she would approach the clerk. She picked up a small triangular golden amulet studded in ruby as she heard the bell to the door go off. She could hear the hoof steps of the pony coming from behind her long before he spoke. “You have a good eye,” said the clerk from behind her, “That is the Unicorn Charm. I found it at swap meet a couple of years back. It’s priced to move if you’re interested.”

Sassaflash turned about and got her first good look at the clerk. He was of average height for a pony and steely blue in color. He had wings that weren’t like hers but instead looked more like a bat's. His mane was dark and sensibly combed. His name tag said his name was Wray.

Sassaflash set the piece down not sure how to broach the subject. The possibility of being actually cursed still felt rather ridiculous to her, even if he were to take it seriously. Then again she’d already spent most of her bits chasing down this possibility. It would be unwise of her not to follow through on it. She decided to approach him carefully, “No you see I’m … it’s rather silly but … it’s that time of the month …”

“The crimson curse is just a normal part of the menstrual cycle. If you’re looking for help with that there’s a pharmacy two blocks …”

Sassaflash’s face flushed red with embarrassment. “No no! I mean … a full moon!”

“Oh! Gotcha. Name’s Wray by the way if you didn’t happen to catch the tag,” said Wray with a smile, “What makes you think you have some sort of transformational curse?”

Sassaflash told him about the memory loss, the odd things she found after her morning purges and that unfortunate events seemed to keep following her about. In response Wray guided her to the counter where he reached under the desk and pulled out a large tome called Were-things Digest. He then began to ask a series of questions and flipped between the pages before finally settling on a section of insects and other bugs.

“Well, based upon what you described it could be one of two beasts. The first is a weremoth. They’re very common in silk producing areas and a plague to the garment industry. The second option is that you’re a weresprite, which would explain the rampant destruction around you as well as the purging of inedible things. Let me ask … did you first start noticing these issues in Cloudsdale or Ponyville?”

“Cloudsdale.”

“Then you’re a weresprite. Cloudsdale is at too high of an elevation and has too little natural fibers or vegetation to sustain them. Sprites, while typically only interested in edible things can in fact survive on pretty much anything. It’s why they’re such a menace. “

“But I don’t remember being bitten by any bugs or sprites at all.”

Wray rubbed his chin, “Well that can only mean that you bit one. So, when did you eat outside last? Like at a bistro or something.”

Sassaflash thought back to a particularly terrible pea soup she’d had at Cloud 8. It started out fine but at some point the soup took on a pungent lemony flavor that had the consistency of curdled milk. She looked to Wray and nodded. He shrugged in response.

“Well what can I do I mean is there a cure?”

“Of course there is. These aren’t the dark ages! Aisle two should have the potion you’re looking for two shelves up from the bottom. You’ll see your options.”

A sense of elation washed over her as she trotted to the aisle and looked at her options. Of the two there was a fancy bottle that guaranteed the removal of the curse and a small cheap bottle that had the picture of a character shrugging. Based upon her current economic situation she grabbed the smaller bottle.

Wray took one look at the bottle and then Sassaflash. He asked if she was sure about it to which she said she was. He sighed and rang her up. “To answer the unasked question the reason you vomited up those bits of indigestible stuff is because you probably ate them just before you turned back. Being a Weresprite can be very hazardous to the pony afflicted … you’re sure about this potion?”

“It works doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, more or less. I mean if you’re on a budget I could always…”

Sassaflash raised a hoof and popped the top of the potion with the other. She then downed the brackish solution quickly, ignoring the fact that it tasted like licorice and mint. She coughed as she wiped her mouth, “Smooth.”

Wray sighed, “If there are future problems, do come back. That potion isn’t …”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks,” replied Sassaflash as she trotted out the door.

The moon was rising as she returned to Berry Punch’s place, hopeful that things would work out. She could see that the light was already on when she opened the door. From the living room she could see into the kitchen where she saw a concerned looking tan stallion looking down at Berry Punch. It was Caramel.

Caramel’s eyes jerked toward the door, “It’s not what you think it is I swear!”

Sassaflash rolled her eyes, “Vertigo again, Berry?”

“Told you she’d know.”

“Sassy look I know I’ve been distant and evasive but I can explain…” said Caramel quickly.

“Explain the mare I heard at your place last week.”

Caramel cocked his head to one side, “My twin sister Caramel?”

“You both have the same name?” asked Berry Punch.

“Our parents blurted out the name when we were born. They then called me Mel and my sister Cara though now she likes being called Carly for some reason. Look please just let me explain.”

“Fine mew’ve got two minutes starting right meow.”

Caramel quirked his eyebrow at the comment and proceeded to explain why he’d been so distant. For the past two months he’d been under a curse. Every night when it wasn’t a full moon he would turn into a surfboard and sit propped against the wall until dawn broke. He’d fallen under the curse when he’d eaten too many kebabs at the beach and gone running along the dock to stop his youngest cousin from jumping off of it. In his haste, he tripped over a surf board and tumbled into the water below. “If only I'd waited the customary twenty minutes after eating to go in the water I wouldn't have been cursed,” concluded Caramel.

“And you’re saying that your twin sister …”

“Carly doesn’t surf! That’s just silly!”

Under normal circumstances Sassaflash wouldn’t have believed a word of that story. However, after having vomited up the carpet and drapes, had her hoof read and gone to a shop that sold anti-curse potions among other things a part of her was willing to let it go. “Hiss is most unusual. I wouldn’t believe mew normally however, after the day I’ve had I’m willing to give mew a pass.”

“Why do you keep…”

“Listen I’ve had a heck of a day. If you can produce her I’ll believe mew,” said Sassaflash as her tail curled about her back legs.

“Hey why are you wearing the paws of a Nightmare Night costume now,” said Berry Punch from the floor.

Sassaflash cocked her head at the comment but looked on at Caramel whose face was stricken with shock. “What are mew staring at?”

Caramel grabbed Sassaflash and brought her to a mirror. Sassaflash’s eyes widened. Gone were the equine features she was used to, her wings were quickly absorbing into her back. Instead, what she saw was some weird amalgamation of pony and cat. Caramel quickly escorted Sassaflash into the guest room and shut the door behind her. From within the room he could hear Sassaflash hiss and carry on as she pawed at the door.

“That’s going to be irritating,” muttered Berry Punch as she pulled herself up into a chair, “All night long.”

“Tomorrow I’ll take her to a shop I know on the shady side of town and get something to fix her.”

“That’s all well and good, but she better not trash that room.”

The sounds of yowling and various things being knocked over rolled down the stairs like a storm’s thunder. “She’s a cat in a room she doesn’t want to be in Berry. You can’t expect anything less than total destruction.”

Berry Punch sighed. It was going to be a long night.