What Is a Pie?

by The Iguana Man

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Spa Ponies
Length: 15734

Due to the inexorable force of social politeness, Rarity is forced to invite Pinkie Pie to join her at the spa. This can't possibly end well, right? Right?!

There are many words that can describe the equine force of nature that is Pinkie Pie: loud, fast, bouncy, hyperactive, wild, frenzied, fun...

These are, Rarity would freely admit, normally absolutely wonderful qualities for her friend to have. However, there are circumstances where even the most universally positive qualities are... not ideal. And, she would politely insist, there is at least one place in Ponyville that Pinkie's irrepressible exuberance should never intrude upon: the spa. Rarity would consider this a reasonable arrangement.

And yet, thanks to an ill-timed conversation and the dread spectre of social politeness, these two worlds of hers will soon collide when she is forced to invite Pinkie to spend some time with her in her haven of relaxation.

Will the Ponyville Spa survive? And even if it does, will Rarity's reputation there come out unscathed? Or will, by some miracle, Pinkie bring herself down to the realm of mortals and show Rarity more about herself than she ever could have guessed.

Note: the cover picture is entirely unrelated to the story, except in as much as it involved Pinkie and Rarity at the spa and it amused me.

Edited by raven618

Featured on 3rd March 2020 - Thank you guys so much!

Published 2020-03-02 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-02 22:10:01 UTC

A Memorable Little Pile of Silliness?

“... and then you, me and the girls would have to fight the giant bunny monsters and all would seem lost until Angel came to the rescue cause it'd turn out he was their daddy and he would wag his adorable paw-finger at them until they shrank, ending their reign of fuzzy terror after destroying half the town!”

Rarity glanced to her side at Pinkie Pie's bouncing form. “And you're certain that would have happened if Golden Harvest hadn't raised the price of carrots?”

Pinkie nodded, her head giving exactly three bobs per bounce. “Uh huh! It's the only explanation that makes sense.”

Rarity nodded along, too used to Pinkie to do anything else. “I'll take your word for it, darling. However, that doesn't make it any less irritating that I must pay extra.”

Pinkie shrugged into her next hop. “Well, you could always use parsnips instead. That'd work for your Casserole and they'd last until Sunday.”

“I suppose so,” Rarity replied, smiling a little and not questioning how Pinkie knew her exact meal plan for the week.

The two were strolling through the Ponyville Market. Well, Rarity was strolling – Pinkie was pronking alongside her, as was her wont. The first few times they'd walked together, Rarity had been a touch unnerved by her companion's bounces syncing up exactly with her own hoofsteps, but one quickly became inured to such things when one knew Pinkie for a while. Though she did wonder if Pinkie would change tempos along with her should she decide to quicken her pace.

She never tried it, of course – a lady never hurried anywhere.

As Rarity looked to her side at her bounding companion, she mused a little on their relationship. Somepony unfamiliar with the two of them would assume that they had very little in common besides a general proclivity for socialisation. That pony would be entirely correct. However, while their personalities were immensely different, they didn't clash in the same way that Rarity initially did with Applejack. They were both extremely comfortable around each other, didn't really argue much and each was happy to venture into the other's area of expertise. Rarity was always happy to attend Pinkie's parties, despite them being extremely far in tone from the kind of party Rarity had mastered, and Pinkie was invariably eager to ooh and aah over Rarity's latest creation, even if she wasn't always keen to stay still and model for it.

As such, they saw each other quite often, but they didn't have any regular engagements in the same way that Pinkie did with Rainbow Dash or Rarity with Fluttershy. Each had their own path in life and, though they frequently crossed over, they were rarely parallel.

However, whenever Rarity went grocery shopping, she would always go to Sugarcube Corner first to pick up bread and bagels – or “bread donuts” as Pinkie insisted on calling them. This was not because she cared especially about either but because, once in a while, Pinkie would offer to accompany her during her shopping. She didn't usually need to buy anything herself, she just wanted to spend some time with “one of her best of best friends”. Rarity, of course, was all too happy to have a long and tedious task brightened up by a companion and there were few ponies brighter than Pinkie.

The occasional shopping trip may not have made for an especially deep relationship, but Rarity was happy with a simple friendship with a wonderfully simple mare.

“Geez, Rare, I didn't think parsnips were that good an idea!” Pinkie giggled.

Rarity shook her head, a little embarrassed at having been looking at Pinkie throughout her reverie. “Ah, my apologies, I was merely a touch lost in thought.”

“That's okay!” Pinkie replied. “Though, just to be safe, you should always let someone know where you're going, so they can come rescue you if you get lost again.”

“I, er... I shall certainly keep that in mind.” Rarity smiled a little uncomfortably before turning to Golden Harvest's stall.

After purchasing some carrots and parsnips, Rarity looked down at her shopping list. “Right, next should be... tomatoes.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie started springing up higher and faster. “Can I get them?! Please, please, please, that's always so much fun! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

Rarity rolled her eyes a little. “If you like, Darling, but I don't know if they'll be...”

“Yay!” Pinkie interrupted, leaping up into a flip and landing two stalls away, in front of the Tomato seller.

“Hey there, what can I get... YOU?!” The vendor jumped back as she recognised Pinkie.

“Hi again, Roma!” Pinkie chirped, waving her hoof fast enough to blur it. “Can I get three tomatoes, please?” She reached down to her bit pouch.

“Oh, no no no!” Roma held a hoof out between them. “I ain't fallin' for this again. You try any o' yer dang “two bits, one bit” stuff on me this time, you ain't gettin' anythin', you got that?”

Pinkie sighed and put her hooves up in a placating gesture. “Okay, okay, you win. I'm sorry about that. I'll take them for one bit this time, I promise.” She slid a coin over.

Roma nodded firmly. “That's more like it.” She took the coin and handed Pinkie a bag of three tomatoes.

Rarity gave a polite clap as Pinkie pronked over to her again, ignoring the “Hey, wait a minute!” coming from the stall five seconds after Pinkie left.

“Bravo, bravo!” Rarity smiled at Pinkie as she handed her a bit coin. “I would say encore, but we wouldn't want her blood pressure raised too high, would we?”

Pinkie giggled again. “Nah, don't worry, me and Roma are cool. Though it's kind of adorable how she thinks she can stop me.”

Rarity nodded in agreement. How could one stop a force of nature like Pinkie Pie?

“Oh!” Pinkie piped up, looking over Rarity's shoulder. “Speaking of adorable, here's Fluttershy! Hi Flutters!” She hopped up so her wave could be seen over Rarity.

Rarity turned around to see Fluttershy canter up to them, her face and speed giving an impression of trepidation, but not fear or out-and-out panic – about a three out of ten on the Fluttershy Anxiety Scale. Which, for any other pony, would be a six, but for Fluttershy this meant that there was nothing major to worry about.

“Hello, Pinkie. Hello, Rarity,” Fluttershy said, catching her breath a tiny bit. “I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Am I interrupting something? I could come back later if...”

“Nonsense, Darling,” Rarity cut her off, knowing how vital it was to curtail Fluttershy's apology spirals as early as possible. “We were just doing a spot of shopping, nothing pressing.”

“Uh huh!” Pinkie said. “No need to rush things at all. Unless you want to buy a time bomb from Fuse - need to get there early for that, they go off real fast.”

“Er, yes,” Rarity sighed before smiling at Fluttershy again. “So, is there anything we can help you with?”

“Oh, um...” Fluttershy gulped before continuing. “It's just that, well, I need to relocate some of the bunnies in Whitetail Wood and I thought I could do it in a couple of days, but there were a few early births and I have to do it tomorrow and so I'm going to miss our spa appointment I'm so sorry!” Fluttershy finished, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as she did so.

Rarity put a hoof on her shoulder and smiled at her as she looked up. “That's quite alright, darling. Work comes first, as nice as it would be if it were otherwise. You take care of that and we can go next week. This week, I'll see if Twilight...” She paused, looking to the side in thought. “Oh, of course, she and Spike are up in Canterlot, aren't they? And Applejack's been tied up with keeping an eye on Apple Bloom recently, so she's not an option. And I hardly think Rainbow Dash would be willing... oh dear.” She put a hoof to her chin as she tried to think.

“Well, I mean, um...” Fluttershy began, pausing for a moment before continuing. “You don't... You don't really... have to go with anyone, do you? Er, do you? I mean, you might, I don't know.”

Rarity sighed. “Well, theoretically, no, but it just isn't the same alone. Particularly for our regular appointment, it's just so much more fulfilling to go with a friend. Oh!” She brightened up instantly. “I know, I could ask Cheerilee to accompany me. She's been wanting a quick word about Sweetie Belle's grades, so that would be an ideal opportunity. Not that I'm especially fond of professional talk in the spa, but hopefully that shouldn't take too long – her grades aren't that bad. Yes, I think that will work just fine.”

“Oh, okay, I'm glad.” Fluttershy finally smiled back at Rarity, her posture loosening up.

“Say, Flutters,” Pinkie piped up, her smile having never diminished during the exchange, “do you mind if I lend a hoof with moving the bunnies tomorrow?”

“Oh!” Fluttershy jumped a little at the sudden offer. “Are... are you sure, Pinkie?”

Pinkie nodded hard enough to create a mild breeze towards Fluttershy. “Uh huh! I'll be real helpful, I promise.”

Fluttershy shook her head, though a smile was beginning to re-emerge. “No, it's not that, it's just... you've been helping me so much lately, you, um, you don't have to...” She trailed off as Pinkie waved a hoof dismissively.

“Pfft, of course I don't have to – we were given free will, after all, so we never have to do anything. But I wanna, so I will. I mean, if you're okay with it.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Okay, if you're sure. Thank you.” She turned to leave. “I'll see you tomorrow. Er, Pinkie, I mean; I won't see you tomorrow, Rarity... well, I might, but only in passing, but I'll see you, er... when I see you.” She gulped and hurried off before she could make things any more awkward.

Rarity smiled after her friend for a moment before turning back to the market. She'd just raised a hoof to move on when Pinkie's voice interrupted her.

“Hey, Rarity?”

Rarity frowned a little, confused at Pinkie's unusually subdued voice. “Yes?” She asked, looking behind her slightly.

“What about me?”

Rarity turned back to Pinkie, her confusion deepening. “Um, in what context, darling?”

“When you were going through people who could come with you to the spa, you didn't mention me.”

A hint of worry began creeping into Rarity's thoughts. “I thought you wanted to help Fluttershy tomorrow.”

Pinkie nodded, though a little slower than usual. “I do, but I didn't ask till after you'd decided who to go with, but you still didn't bring me up. Do you... do you not want to go with me?” She asked with a hint of unease.

Rarity's eyes widened. “Oh, no, no, that's not it at all, Darling, it's just...” She trailed off as a series of images flashed before her mind's eye:

“Hello, and velcome to...”

“Hey, I don't get it! How are we supposed to have fun here? There's no balloons, no snacks, no decorations...

“Er, perhaps you have misunderstood exactly vhat ve-

“No, don't worry, I can fix this lickety-split – this kinda thing is what my Party Cannon was made for. Literally!”

“No, Miss, please don't-”

BOOM!

“So, ve generally start with a mineral bath to-”

“CANNONBALL!”

“No, vait!”

SPLOOSH!

“Now, just lie here and ve'll get started on your massage.”

“Lie? Why would I need to lie down? You're good at massages, right?”

“I certainly like to zink...”

“Exactly, so you should be able to do some massagening while I'm standing up, shouldn't you?”

“Er, vell, it's theoretically...

“Ooh! I know, we can do challenge mode – you stay on my back and do a massage while I'm dancing!”

“Miss, I really don't zink- AAH!”

“Now, zese are our mud baths. Just lie back and...”

“Hey, how deep are those?”

“Oh, deep enough to take most ponies. Vhy do you...?

“CANNONBALL!”

“And we just sit here and take in the steam. If you need any more, just ask them to splash some more water on the bed of hot rocks.”

“Say, Rarity, why do they call it a bed of rocks, anyway? It doesn't look too comfortable to sleep on and it's on top of something else, so it's not like bedrock. I mean, it's not anyway, cause bedrock's all one big rock that's really big and flat and isn't really one rock but a whole bunch of them all smooshed together into one, but the point is that's not really a bed, is it?”

“Well, I think it's more...”

“Actually, there's layers to those rocks, so it's really more of a pool of rocks, isn't it?”

“Well, I suppose, in a sense, but I don't see what... Pinkie no!

“Pinkie Yes! CANNONBALL!”

“No, don't- OH SWEET CELESTIA, IT BURNS!”

Rarity shook her head to clear away the images. “It's just, well... it didn't seem like the sort of thing you'd be interested in. Do you... That is, were you hoping to...”

Pinkie shook her head. “Oh, no – like you said, I'm gonna be helping Flutters tomorrow.”

Rarity sighed a little, doing her utmost to hide exactly how relieved she was. “Oh, well, in that case...”

“I would like to go sometime, though.”

Rarity's expression froze, along with, if her feeling was any indication, her heartbeat and her blood. As terrified as she was of making such plans, the hideous spectre of social politeness drove her forward towards what she was sure would be her doom. “Oh. Er, well, I, er... would you like to come next week? Or... perhaps the week... after?” She finished in a whimper.

Pinkie scrunched her face up in thought for a moment. “Hmm... nah, I don't think it'll be in the next couple of weeks.”

Rarity's terror reduced by a tiny fraction. “Oh! So, when would you...?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Dunno. I won't know when I'm gonna feel like it until I do. But, when I do feel like going, I can tell you and then we can go within the next couple of days, does that sound alright?”

“Yes. Yes, that sounds lovely,” Rarity replied in a bald-faced lie.

“Okey Dokey Lokey!” Pinkie chirruped before looking at her bare ankle and gasping. “Oh, look at the time, I need to get back to Sugarcube Corner!” She dashed off, her voice somehow remaining to say, “See you when I see you for the spa!”

Rarity didn't reply, however. She simply stood in place for a few seconds before her haunch fell to the ground. She stared off into the middle distance.

“Oh dear.”

A Mirthful Little Pile of Sucrose?

Fortunately, if there was one thing Pinkie could be relied upon to do, it was to distract one from one's troubles.

Well, to be fair, there were many things Pinkie could be relied upon to do. Some of them were even things one might want her to do.

However, her ability to deflect and remove tension was among her greatest skills. So, when next Rarity saw her – at a party she was throwing to celebrate Owlowiscious's day-that's-probably-his-birthday-even-though-we-don't-know-for-sure-but-let's-say-it's-today – she didn't even allude to their previous conversation and Rarity dared to hope that she may have forgotten about it. She knew it wasn't likely, but the possibility, combined with the powerful effect of a Pinkie party, was enough to put her mind to rest for the moment.

And, fortunately, the next couple of weeks kept her more than busy enough for the conversation to slip into the back of her mind. Between Pinkie's sister's... enlightening visit and the business with Sapphire Shores and Sweetie Belle's play, the fact that Pinkie had expressed mild interest in something was simply subsumed by the daily reality of life in Ponyville.

However, while it had ceased to bother her conscious mind, it would be inaccurate to say that it was no longer being considered. This was proven when, one afternoon, Rarity heard a knock on her door.

Slowing her sewing machine to a stop, she trotted over to the door, quickly deducing which of her friends was calling on her. The fact that the Carousel Boutique was a shop as well as her home meant that most ponies would simply walk in during business hours, even if they weren't there to shop. Other than her friends, the only ponies who knocked were those delivering mail or packages. However, she wasn't expecting any deliveries and the sound of regular post being delivered was less of a knock and more of a crash, so she surmised it to be one of her friends. Furthermore, she tended to eliminate Pinkie and Rainbow, since they preferred to simply burst in through the door or sometimes, in the latter case, through the window. Meanwhile, Fluttershy's knock was generally quieter than what she'd heard and, for Applejack to be calling on her on a market day, something serious would have to have happened, so she'd be more likely to simply barge in, probably leaving a sizeable dent in the door.

That left Twilight or Spike and, while she couldn't be certain, the knock sounded more like a hoof than a fist.

Smiling at her conclusion, she opened the door.

“Good afternoon, Tttto you, Pinkie,” Rarity corrected herself mid-sentence as she saw who was in front of her door. Pinkie was standing there, smiling sweetly at her.

“Hiya, Rarity. Do you think we could go to the spa soon?”

At that moment, it became clear that their previous conversation hadn't vanished from Rarity's mind. Instead, it had remained tethered to it, as if by a piece of elastic. And as it moved further and further to the back of her mind, that elastic had been stretched and stretched until, at that moment, the whole thing snapped back into her head, the impact sending her thoughts tumbling.

“The... the spa, yes, of course, you said... I thought that... no, no, of course, of course you want to go to the spa, why wouldn't you? Why would anypony not want to go? Especially somepony like you? That would be quite ridiculous, Hahaha!” The laugh came out short, choppy and more than a little crazed.

Pinkie, however, responded with a more sincere laugh. “Heehee, I guess it would be. So, anyway, can we go? I mean, it doesn't have to be now, any time within the next couple of days would be fine.”

Rarity instinctively opened her mouth, the request to put things off for a couple of days or, if possible, a couple of millennia rising up from her throat unbidden. However, she clamped down on it, vocalizing nothing more than a couple of quiet throat moans.

If there was one thing she knew about Pinkie, it was that when she got an idea in her head, stopping her was more than a little problematic. It wasn't impossible, but not only was it immensely difficult, but the amount of effort required was generally far greater than anything that could happen if one let her have her way.

Plus, the small but insistent voice of pragmatism within her whispered, delaying things wouldn't make them any better. If this was going to happen, she might as well get it over with as soon as possible. That wouldn't make it any better, but would at least mean that she wouldn't spend days fretting about it. Mental exhaustion and worry lines were not her friend.

Rarity huffed internally. For a fashion-focused pony, having such a powerful practical streak was something of a mark of shame. However, she couldn't deny the logic of it.

She sighed and put on a smile for her well-meaning friend. “Well, as it happens, I was mostly done for the day anyway. If you’d like, we... we can go today,” She finished, bracing herself for the inevitable – the cheer, the hug, the confirmation of impending doom, all of that.

However, it didn't come. Instead, Pinkie simply nodded, her smile widening. “Oh, okay. Thanks a whole heap of a load of a bunch, Rare. This is gonna be great.”

Rarity let out a sigh of relief and nodded. “Yes, I just need to finish a couple of things, put everything away and get ready to go. I should be done in an hour or so and then,” she swallowed, “we can go. Would you like to wait here?” She asked, hoping but not expecting for Pinkie to say yes. She knew she was unlikely to be able to dissuade or distract Pinkie from this course of action, but she could at least try.

Pinkie shook her head. “Nah, that's okay, I'll meet you there.” She turned and trotted off. “See you in an hour!”

Rarity looked after her. “Indeed I shall,” She said, far too quietly for even Pinkie to hear. Sighing, she closed the door and returned to her workshop, forcefully suppressing thoughts of how much a train ticket to Yakyakistan would cost. It didn't help that there was something distinctly off about that conversation, but she couldn't put her hoof on exactly what.

She sighed as she sat back down at her sewing machine. Worrying about it wouldn't help. That wasn't usually the case – if there was any way of avoiding something, then worrying was absolutely a worthwhile activity, provided it was constructive and focused towards finding said method of avoidance. However, in this case, it didn't seem like there was anything she could do beyond letting it happen and trying to keep the damage to a minimum.

Still, as she started the machine up, a dark but Pinkie-esque bit of humour bubbled up as she thanked the fates that she only had to finish assembling the piece she was working on. Had she still the embroidery to do while this was hanging over her head, she probably wouldn't have been able to stop herself putting a few skulls into the design, to reflect her vision of the immediate future. Thankfully, though, she felt no such desire – being fourteen once was quite enough for her, thank you very much.

Rarity walked through the spa's front door. She held her head held high, like a pony going to the guillotine determined to die with dignity. She didn't bother to sigh when she saw Pinkie sitting in the foyer, giving her a cheerful wave.

She smiled at Pinkie before trotting over to Aloe and Lotus, who were whispering to each other and occasionally glancing at Pinkie. However, when they saw Rarity, they straightened up and Lotus greeted her.

“Ah, good afternoon, Miss Rarity. It, um...” She lowered her voice and leaned a little closer to Rarity. “I do not believe zis to be ze case, but it is not your birthday today, is it?”

“Nah,” Pinkie called from across the room, despite the fact that she should not have heard that – when it came to parties, Pinkie's already sharp senses were near-preternatural, “her birthday isn't for another couple of months. And yours aren't for five months.”

“Ve are avare of zat, Miss Pie, but zank you!” Lotus called back before returning to her hushed conversation with Rarity. “Ve did not think there vas any party to be thrown here, but if Miss Pie is here..”

“Ah, yes, well, you see,” Rarity began before gathering the courage to admit what had happened, “she expressed some interest in coming here and... availing herself of your services. She asked me if she could come and, well...” She trailed off, hesitant to admit how she hadn't managed to talk Pinkie out of it.

The two nodded. “Ve understand, Miss Rarity.” Lotus said, a professional, if slightly strained, smile coming onto her face.

Rarity smiled back and waved Pinkie over, happy that the two understood her situation and that she was close enough to them that they could forgive her. Either that or their intense professionalism was the only thing maintaining their smiles and preventing them from throttling Rarity then and there – she'd take what she could get.

Once Pinkie had joined her, Rarity paid for the both of them, with a glance around the room to indicate to Aloe and Lotus that she'd also pay for any damage done. That done, the two were led into the spa.

“Now then, Miss Pie, ve generally start with a short mineral bath.”

“Huh,” Pinkie said, tilting her head slightly, “that's kinda weird. Why do we start with that?”

Rarity suppressed a sigh as she started seeing things going downhill already. Before either of the twins could answer, she asked, “Why is it weird, Darling? Surely it's as good a place to start as any.”

Pinkie giggled. “Well, not really, if you think about it. With all the other stuff in the spa – all the sweating and the mud and the massage oils and that kinda thing, shouldn't we have a bath after all that?”

Rarity surprised herself at managing to suppress a second sigh, helped by the fact that Pinkie didn't list things off at her normal gatling-horn pace, instead just meandering through it slowly. “Well, we do have a short shower after all that is done, but the purpose of this bath is not to clean us, but to relax us – a short soak in these mineral-rich waters is designed to loosen up our muscles so that we may enjoy the rest of our treatment to its fullest.”

Even as she spoke, Rarity braced herself for the inevitable: Pinkie deciding that it makes so much more sense to save all the bathing until last and declaring that she was already relaxed enough, perhaps even questioning what relaxation had to do with the spa. It wouldn't be much, but it would most likely be the snowball that grows into an avalanche. Any second now...

“Oh, that makes sense,” Pinkie chirped. “Thanks, I was just wondering.”

Rarity blinked. After a moment, she cleared her throat. “Oh, you're quite welcome, darling.” She shook her head a little and wondered if, perhaps, she was getting a little ahead of herself, maybe even a touch paranoid.

That doubt disappeared in an instant as she saw Pinkie crouch by the edge of the large tub, her flank wiggling – a distinctive “about to pounce” position if Rarity had ever seen one.

Abandoning all subterfuge, Rarity shut her eyes, turned her head away and covered it with her hoof, hoping to at least protect herself from the inevitable splash. She waited for it to happen.

A few seconds later, she was still waiting. She was just beginning to question herself when she heard Pinkie ask, “Why's everypony covering their eyes? Is Hide and Seek part of the spa experience as well? I didn't think it was, but I'll hide if you all want me to!”

“Er, no, Pinkie,” Rarity took her hoof away from her face and saw the twins doing the exact same thing, “I'm afraid that that's not... really a service the spa provides. I... do apologize, if you don't want to...”

“Nah, that's okay!” Pinkie replied. Now that Rarity was looking at her, she could see that she was still crouched down, with her left forehoof down in the water, presumably for the rest of her body to follow in a moment – stepping into it rather than diving in. However, when no one moved, she pulled her hoof out again, resting it on the edge so as not to drip on the floor. “So why were you covering your eyes?”

Rarity swallowed hard, her mind racing to think of a way to put things diplomatically. “Well, we just... We were expecting... well, we weren't sure what to expect.” She finished lamely.

Pinkie just giggled. “Well, of course you don't know what to expect,” she said in a steady, lilting tone, “that's what makes life so wonderful! It always finds a way to surprise you.”

A mildly sardonic eyebrow raise managed to penetrate Rarity's apprehension. “Well, I suppose one could say that, although I'm not sure Fluttershy would agree with you.”

Pinkie shrugged, though her face held an odd sort of smile, even for Pinkie. “Maybe, but you shouldn't say that for certain. Sometimes ponies can surprise you. Even when they're your bestest of best friends, sometimes they show other bits of themselves and do things and want things you'd never expect.”

Rarity blinked, a little confused at what Pinkie meant. She knew that Pinkie had been spending a lot of time with Fluttershy recently, but she had her doubts she knew her that much more than Rarity did. Even if she did, it seemed an odd thing to say. “I'm... not sure I follow you, darling. Are you meaning to... imply something?” She tried not to make the question sound too accusatory, though she wasn't sure she managed it.

Pinkie, however, just let out a small, happy sigh and closed her eyes, her smile becoming more natural. “Nah, not really. I guess I'm just being a thinky Pinkie. But hey,” She opened her eyes again, a slight twinkle showing in them, “we're having a bath first, so at least I won't be a stinky Pinkie.” And, with that, she lowered herself into the bath.

Rarity stood there for a second, a little shocked. However, after a moment, she let out a demure chuckle and started forward. She slowly stepped down into the bath as well, the tension in her body loosening slightly.

The two sat there, silent for a while, letting the warmth of the water penetrate through their fur and into their muscles and bones. Rarity's eyes lay closed, enjoying the tiny noises of the water moving, as if the sound was laid on top of the silence, adding to it without destroying it.

After a few minutes, she opened her eyes and looked at her companion. Pinkie was sitting across from her, the water vapour soaking into her mane making it droop slightly without losing its curly fluff. She was looking at Rarity, a gentle smile on her face as her body remained still, barely moving the water around it.

It was a pleasant image, to be certain, but once she'd caught Pinkie's eye, Rarity found that the silence quickly transitioned to slightly uncomfortable as she tried and failed to come up with something to say.

Pinkie tilted her head, seeming to pick up on Rarity's discomfort. “Something wrong there, Rare?” She said, smiling but not laughing at the rhyme.

Rarity smiled a little too. “Nothing to worry about,” She replied, as if Pinkie ever truly did. “It's just... I'm a little unsure what to talk about.”

Pinkie thought for a moment. “Well, what do you normally talk about with Fluttershy?”

Rarity sighed. “Well, to be perfectly honest, I think it's more accurate to say that I talk at Fluttershy. And it's generally about the latest... goings on in the town,” She said, both verbally and mentally avoiding the word 'gossip'.

Pinkie leaned back against the edge of the tub. “Well, you can gossip at me too, if you wanna. Maybe it'll be better, since I know a lot about what's happening anyway.”

Rarity shook her head. “I'm afraid that's exactly the problem – whatever gos- information I share, you will almost certainly be fully aware of, perhaps even more so than me. It's just not the same if I'm telling you what you already know. Preaching to the choir, as it were.”

Pinkie's smile dimmed a little as her brow furrowed slightly in thought. “Well, I mean, I guess I could pretend not to know.”

Rarity shook her head, giving Pinkie a gentle smile in the hopes of bolstering hers. “I appreciate the thought, Pinkie, but I would still know. Besides,” her smile rose a little on one side, turning into a slight smirk, “I think I can go one day without gos- without sharing. Particularly since I still have my weekly meeting with Fluttershy.”

Pinkie nodded, sighing in contentment. “Ah, symbiosis.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Symbiosis?”

Pinkie nodded. “Uh huh. It's when two animals or ponies help each other out in different ways so they both end up happier because of it. Like when...”

“Er, yes, yes, I'm familiar with the concept,” Rarity cut her off gently. “I'm simply not sure how it applies here.”

“Well,” Pinkie began, in her own equivalent to Twilight's lecturing tone – clear and deliberate, but not monotonous, “you need an outlet for all that gossip. Otherwise it'd all build up and up and up inside that pretty little head of yours until it all exploded out in a massive blast of unsecretisation.” She seemed neither excited or bothered by this image. “So if you just tell what you know to Flutters, who you know will never tell anyone or use what she learns against other ponies, you can let it all out without hurting anyone.”

Rarity swallowed. What Pinkie was saying was something she did already know, even if she didn't really think about it much. However, what Pinkie had so far omitted had unknowingly brought to mind a slight fear Rarity had.

“Well, while I can't deny that that's the case, I must say that it doesn't sound much like symbiosis if dear Fluttershy doesn't get anything out of it.” She held a hoof up to forestall any interjection. “And yes, I know that she's simply happy that I'm happy – I know as well as you how empathetic she is. However, if you'll allow a brief confession, I do sometimes wonder if she only goes through it for my sake. And if it's simply me unloading my needs onto her, it's not really symbiosis. It would actually be closer to... parasitism.” She grimaced at the prospect.

Pinkie scooted along the tub's floor until she was right next to Rarity, putting a hoof on her shoulder gently.

“Rarity, I just wanna say that that's kind of a beautiful thing to say. Not that you could be a parasite, but that you're so worried about what Flutters is thinking and feeling, and that you wanna always make sure she's happy and having a good time.” She locked eyes with Rarity and smiled, as if to force Rarity's mouth to smile as well. If that was the case, she succeeded.

She then continued. “I also wanna say that what you said is completely wrong and kinda silly.”

Rarity blinked, confused at the change of subject, even though the tone remained constant. “It, um... It is?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, totally. See, Fluttershy really does enjoy your gossip. Not just because it makes you happy, though that does help, but because she likes hearing about it.”

“Really? She never sa-” Rarity cut herself off, realizing the instant she started saying it how ridiculous it was – thinking Fluttershy didn't feel something simply because she didn't say so. “You're sure?”

“Yep, that's totally why she's happy. See, you know how Flutters is around other ponies,” Pinkie stated, as if anyone could be unaware. “When she's around a lot of ponies or ponies she doesn't know, she gets all scared and whimpery and anxiety-y.”

Rarity nodded. “Indeed, poor dear. She does try, though.”

Pinkie nodded firmly. “Exactly, she doesn't not like other ponies. She really wants to get to know them and be friendly with them, she just can't handle being around them. She wants to connect with them, but she usually can't. And that's where your gossip comes in.”

“Oh?” Rarity was beginning to see where this was going, but she didn't want to interrupt or pre-empt Pinkie. If nothing else, she was looking forward to hearing it from her mouth.

“Yeah, when you meet up and tell her all about all the stuff-happenings in Ponyville, she feels connected to it. She can learn all about the town and all the ponies in it without having to go out and meet them and get all frightened. She gets to know ponies without ever talking to them. She really loves that.”

“I see.” Rarity breathed a sigh of relief, thankful to have that slight insecurity addressed. Although... “And she... well, if you have her confidence, you may feel free to refrain from answering, but did she tell you this herself?” It wasn't that Rarity doubted Pinkie's ability to read other ponies' feelings, but she did have a tendency to let her idealism best her realism.

Pinkie nodded firmly. “Yep. And now I know for certain why you enjoy doing it, she'd be happy for me to tell you.”

“I'm... not sure I follow.”

“Oh, the reason she told me is cause she was worried you were only sharing gossip cause she enjoyed it.”

Rarity gaped for a moment, blinking rapidly as her mind tried to process the irony. After a few seconds, a single chuckle burst out of her. “Well, I suppose that does explain things somewhat. As you say – symbiosis. I really must thank you for putting my mind at rest.”

Pinkie giggled. “Well, what else is the spa for, silly.”

Rarity nodded. “Speaking of which, I think that should be long enough in the bath.” She began to rise out of the bath, the twins instantly in attendance with towels and robes.

Pinkie hopped out of the bath, high but not long, few droplets flying off her despite Rarity's and the twins' flinching. “Okay, what's next?”

As Aloe rushed over to Pinkie with a towel, lest she decide to dry herself by shaking the water off, Rarity answered, “Well, generally we now go to the steam room.”

“Oh,” Pinkie sounded a little disappointed as she rubbed against the towels, “it's not a sauna?”

Rarity blinked, a hint of worry making itself known at Pinkie's tone. “Erm, no, I'm afraid the spa doesn't have a sauna. Were you... were you especially looking forward to a trip to a sauna?” Her mind started racing, trying to think of a way to either satisfy or dissuade Pinkie's sudden and specific desires.

“Oh no!” Pinkie chirped before Rarity's mind could go too far. “I don't wanna go into a sauna. I just like saying it. Sauna! Sau... na! Saaaauuunaaa! It's such a great word!”

Rarity chuckled in relief. “I suppose it is.” She closed her eyes briefly, not needing to open them to allow Aloe to slip on her monogrammed gown.

“Huh,” she heard Pinkie say. She opened her eyes to see her companion tilting her head at her own offered gown. “It doesn't have a P on it?”

“No, Miss,” Aloe assured her, “zis is the first time you have... graced us vith your presence, so ve have seen no need to monogram a gown for you.”

“Ooooh!” Pinkie nodded slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense. I thought you just had a whole bunch of them with all the letters on. Though I guess I'd need to wear two P-gowns, wouldn't I? Hey, Rarity, could you wear two gowns at the same time?”

Rarity thought for a moment, her relief that things had been going well so far allowing her to take the question somewhat seriously. “Well, I suppose you technically could, but I shouldn't think it would make much of a difference if we could only see one. Unless, of course, such an outfit was specifically designed to...” She trailed off as a few ideas flickered through her mind. Wearing two dresses at once, one outside and one inside. Layers of dresses – dress recursion! It could be a whole new...

She shook her head, filing the thought away for later. “A fascinating idea, but not for right now – relaxation now, inspiration later!”

Pinkie nodded as she slipped on her unlettered robe. “Yepperoonie! Let's not go to the sauna.”

“Woooooah!” Pinkie exclaimed as they entered the room and sat down. “Now, this is hot!”

“Indeed, that is rather the idea.” Rarity smiled. This was the part of their treatment that she had been most looking forward to – she doubted even Pinkie could be hyperactive in this environment.

Pinkie nodded slowly, adding evidence to that hypothesis. “Yeah, it's really cool. I mean, it's not cool, it's hot, but it's also cool! Really cool! And really hot! We cool?”

“Er, yes,” Rarity assured her, impressed at Pinkie's ability to ramble even when not talking quickly. “And you're quite right, it is, ahem 'cool'. Just the thing to clear out the pores.”

“Oh? It won't make my hair fall out, will it?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow, already too heat-lethargic to do more. “Certainly not. Why would you think that would happen?”

“Well, you said it'd clear out pores and that’s where all our hair comes from. Well, some of them – there's hair pores and sweat pores, but if you totally cleared them all out, we'd be all hairless. Our poor pores!” She giggled softly.

Rarity found herself smiling as well, despite the mildly disconcerting image. “Well, I can assure you that won't happen – I'm hardly likely to avail myself of such a service.”

“Yeah, you should never risk losing your super-nice mane. And I think...” Pinkie trailed off, looking up in thought before shaking her head. “Yeah, I wouldn't wanna lose my fur either. I mean, yeah, I'd probably look super silly without any hair and I might be kinda cute in an ugly sort of way, but it'd probably get super uncomfortable.”

“Quite so,” Rarity agreed, happily following on Pinkie's tangent for the moment. “A pony does have fur on their whole body for a reason, after all.”

“Except your horn,” Pinkie pointed out. “That's all hard and solid so that it doesn't let the magic leak out. Though it is keratin, so I guess you could say it's its own kinda hair.”

Rarity thought for a moment, impressed at how someone could be so factually wrong and then immediately be so factually right. “That's certainly one way of looking at it. Except the magical vein of course.”

Pinkie nodded. “Yep, that's there to give it that cool spiral look. Also maybe to let you use magic.”

Rarity smiled, happy at Pinkie showing correct priorities. “I suppose a pony without fur would be like a horn without a vein or wings without feathers.”

“I once met a Pegasus with no feathers on their wings,” Pinkie replied, her trademark topic shift less jarring than normal, but no less sudden.

Rarity furrowed her brow a little, trying to think if she'd ever heard of such a thing. “Really?”

“Uh huh! Plumal Alopecia, she said it was called. Her wings were these two long, bendy tentacle-kindsa-things coming out of her back.”

Rarity hummed uncomfortably at the image. “That must have looked... a touch disconcerting. Not that she should be ashamed!” She added quickly, not wanting to seem disparaging. “But she must get some odd looks. And on top of being unable to fly.”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, I thought she might be sad about it too.” She paused for a moment, letting the fact sink in before adding. “Then she beat me in a hoof wrestle with one of her wings. I didn't feel sorry for her after that.”

Rarity giggled. “Well, I suppose that's one way to avoid pity. Still, I'd love to make her some wing-covering clothing.”

“I thought you said she shouldn't be ashamed,” Pinkie pointed out. “Do you think she should cover up her condition?”

Rarity shook her head gently. “No, I don't think she should. I think she should have the option to, if she should desire. It's all about giving ponies choice in the matter.” She gave Pinkie a lethargic smirk. “Much as I adore my line of work, I would never dream of forcing somepony to wear a dress if they neither have to nor want to.”

Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a thick ream of paper. “So you're saying my “Rarity: Sartorial Overlord” story isn't true to life?” She said with an exaggerated lip quiver.

Rarity wasn't sure what was most impressive: the possibility that Pinkie had written a novel-length story of that name, the possibility that she carried around a ream of paper covered in writing solely for a prop gag or the undeniable fact that she knew the word “sartorial”.

In the end, she just settled for a nod and a touch of affected contrition. “I'm afraid so. I do apologize, would that I could aspire to such a lofty position.”

“That's okay!” Pinkie chirped, “That just makes it an alternate universe story. Better put it away before it catches fire.” She said as she plunged the papers back into her mane.”

“Um, I suspect it would be more likely to get wet, what with all the steam – catching fire would be... difficult in here.”

Pinkie thought for a moment. “I dunno, Rares, I think it could do both – it is really hot in here,” She said, wiping some sweat from her brow as if to emphasize the point.

Rarity let out a small giggle. “I can imagine it would be for one who eats as much sugar as you do.”

Pinkie flinched back a little. “Are you calling me fat?”

Rarity started at the accusation. “No! Not at all, I'm just pointing out that you do eat a lot of sugar. Which you then use up in the form of your boundless energy and very little of which forms fat on you. I assure you, darling, you are not fat.”

“Boundless. Hm,” Pinkie muttered, closing her eyes for a second before looking up at Rarity. “You're sure I'm not fat?”

“Positive.”

“Oh. Oh well, I guess that's okay, too,” Pinkie replied, a tiny touch of melancholy in her voice.

Rarity blinked in surprise. “You mean... do you want to be fat?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Eh, I don't really wanna be, it's not a big ambition or anything, but I sure wouldn't mind.”

“Hm, well, that's... I will be honest, I wouldn't have thought that an aspiration – a downside of dealing with so many models, I suppose – but I don't see an issue with it.”

“Oh, being slim's good too!” Pinkie gave Rarity a small nudge. “You being slim is perfect for being pretty in the way you are. But, the way I see it, the more of me there is, the more there is to hug ponies.”

Rarity nodded. “I suppose I can see the logic there.”

Pinkie beamed at Rarity's understanding. “Like I said, I wouldn't try to make myself fat, but I wouldn't mind being a plump little Pinkie.”

Rarity looked over her friend – Pinkie's body wasn't flabby by any stretch, but she did have a healthy layer of fat. And, it must be said, she did give exceedingly good hugs.

“Well, I think you have just the right amount of... you,” Rarity assured her, slipping in the slight Pinkieism at the end. “Even if does mean you get a touch too hot.”

“Thanks, Rare,” Pinkie said, the simple assurance seeming to truly buoy her up. “But don't worry too much. I don't mind the heat – you get used to it during a rock farm summer.”

“I can well imagine,” Rarity replied, the image coming to her instantly. “Hard work, long hours and no shade – you must have gotten quite the workout. And tan.” She gave a slight shudder at the thought of all that dirt and manual labour.

“Yeah, we all got pretty sweaty. Still, it could have been worse – Maud once told me that the temperature inside a volcano can be over a thousand degrees.”

A small voice in Rarity's head – one that sounded distinctly like Twilight, as it happened – thought about asking what kind of degrees Pinkie meant – Coltsius, Marenheit or Geldvin. However, she quickly concluded that, at that level of heat, it really didn't matter. Besides, another question popped into her mind first.

“And she just... brought that up out of nowhere?” After Rarity's first time meeting Maud, she could well believe that.

“Kinda,” Pinkie replied. “She was reading up about igneous rock and lava and I read over her shoulder a little and thought it might be nice to go inside a volcano one day.”

“You... wanted to throw a party inside a volcano?” Rarity asked, making the obvious leap for anyone who knew Pinkie.

“Kinda Sorta. I thought it'd be great place to hold a barbecue, which I think is a kind of party.”

“You had barbecues on the rock farm?” Rarity asked. “Forgive me, but, from your stories, it didn't seem like that sort of place.”

Pinkie gave her a small smirk. “That sounds like the talk of someone who's never tried Maple-Glazed Gypsum.”

Well, ask a foolish question... Rarity thought to herself.

“So, anyway...” Pinkie began before giving a small yawn. Rarity recognised that yawn – it was the signal for when conversation in the steam room would come to an end and its occupants would enter that wonderful state of almost-but-not-quite-sleep for a while.

“Anyway,” Pinkie continued, shuffling herself into a comfortable drowsing position, “Maud told me that if I went down into a volcano, my fur would all burn off, my insides would boil and I'd be reduced to a crackly, crumbly hunk of ash and then dust. She said I'd need a special heat-protecting suit and a gas mask to even get close to the heat of a volcano.”

“Oh,” Rarity said languidly, too relaxed to even be disturbed at the image Pinkie painted. She closed her eyes as she felt herself start to enter that delightful torpor. “That must have been disappointing.”

“Not really,” Pinkie replied as she too started to doze, “lots of parties have a dress code.”

Something Less?

As usual, Rarity thoroughly lost track of time during her stay in the steam room. While she was hovering in that negative space between waking and dreaming, she was confident that the world could be coming to an end outside and she would barely notice. In fact, she had, once or twice, worried that might be a problem, given that she would most likely be needed in such an apocalypse.

Fortunately, she was confident that the twins' self-preservation instincts outweighed their professionalism. Even if it would likely be a photo finish between the two impulses.

Rarity blinked her eyes open as she recognised the mixed metaphor – usually a sign that she'd been in the steam room long enough.

Sure enough, Aloe came over to help her finish rising to awareness, while Lotus started gently attempting to rouse Pinkie.

“Mn, five more minutes, Mommy, the rocks can wait that long,” Pinkie mumbled as she snuggled deeper into her tail.

Lotus looked up at Rarity with a bewildered expression, but Rarity just shrugged at her. Shrugging back, Lotus continued waking Pinkie.

“I am happy you are enjoying our steam room, Miss Pie, but it is time for ze next stage. Do you vish to cut your treatment short?” Rarity had just about recovered her consciousness enough to recognise the slight hint of hope in Lotus's voice. It took another couple of seconds to understand it, but then she remembered that she had come to the spa with Pinkie Pie. While things had gone very well so far, it was best to keep one's guard up.

After a few more seconds of gentle nudging, Pinkie finally uncurled, giving a little yawn. “Ah, that was really nice. I didn't know being covered in boiling water could feel so good.

Rarity frowned in confusion, opening her mouth ask Pinkie what she was talking about before she realized that, like most things Pinkie said, it made sense from a certain, very strange point of view.

Pinkie rubbed her eyes before crossing them, looking at the long strand of hair in front of them – her voluminous hair had absorbed a lot of water and was hanging much heavier than usual. Giggling, she took the long strand hanging in front of her face and twisted it, wringing the water from it like a towel. After one such twist, she released it and it inexplicably became as light and springy as it usually was. That done, she hopped to her feet and followed Lotus out of the room.

Rarity smiled as she too exited the room – by Pinkie's standards, that was positively restrained.

The two were led down a short corridor to a room with two large pools of mud inside. Before Pinkie could comment, she saw the twins bring out some large lengths of seaweed.

“Ooh!” Pinkie exclaimed, her face lighting up. “I didn't know you guys provided snacks as well as service. Although,” her expression dimmed somewhat, “I'm not sure I can eat that much.”

Rarity spoke up before either of the twins could facehoof. “No, dear, this isn't for eating – it's a seaweed wrap. It goes around our body so our skin can absorb the nutrients and minerals.”

“Wrapping us in tasty-looking seaweed?” Pinkie narrowed her eyes at Rarity. “Are you sure this isn't a trick to wrap me up like sushi so that I'll taste better when a giant eats me?”

Rarity nodded, doing her best to keep her face absolutely straight. “Positive, darling.”

Pinkie sighed in relief, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “Well, good. Fool me twice, shame on me!” She held out her hoof for the twins to begin wrapping her.

Rarity did the same, giggling quietly at Pinkie's probably-fantasies. In short order, the two of them were thoroughly swaddled in seaweed.

“And now, ve apply ze face masks,” Lotus said as Aloe got out a large tin.

“Ooh, I love masks!” Pinkie said. “Whadda they look like? Mummies? Werewolfies? Ex-President Nick Sun?”

“Wrong kind of mask, Pinkie dear,” Rarity said as Aloe began applying the thick liquid to her face. “It's the term for this face covering, you see?”

Pinkie frowned, her head retreating slightly from Lotus's brush, eliciting a sigh from the spa pony. “Like makeup? I dunno, I hate makeup. Every time I have to wear it on stage, it feels like my face is being smothered.”

Rarity managed to keep herself from rolling her eyes. “I assure you, it's not like that at all – it's more like a pleasant cream. And, well, I'm sure our dear friends here wouldn't do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. So why not try a spot of it on your face and see how you like it? If it feels too bad, they can simply wipe it off.”

Pinkie's frown remained in place, but she nevertheless stopped putting her head back. “Okay, I guess I can try it.”

Hesitantly, Lotus dabbed a small blob onto Pinkie's cheek. Pinkie hummed as Rarity and the twins looked on, a palpable tension in the air.

After a second, though, Pinkie smiled again. “Hey, you're right! That does feel pretty good. Like a little custard pie!” She put her head forward, silently asking Lotus continue applying the cream, which she happily did as Pinkie continued. “Clothes made of food and pies in the face! This place is way more fun than I thought it'd be!”

At this, Rarity and the twins exchanged an unsure look – things had been going alright so far, but that statement did not bode well.

Still, the face masks were applied without incident and the twins presented the two of them with cucumber slices.

Pinkie opened her mouth before hesitating and looking at Rarity. “So, are these snacks or...”

Rarity shook her head with a patient smile. “No, they're for your eyes, to stop them going puffy.”

Pinkie's mouth went to the side in thought. “Hmm, I dunno – I have always kinda wanted to look like Marshy Field-Moon.” She grabbed a piece of the seaweed wrap and somehow flapped it over her head into a hood. She ducked down, creating a hunch on her back, bugged out her eyes far more that a pony should have been able to and pointed. “There wolf!” She pointed out of the window. “There castle!” She pointed at Rarity. “There pretty pony!” At that, however, she straightened up, blinking heavily. “Ow, on second thought, that kinda hurts my eyes, let's go with the cucumbers.”

Rarity didn't really notice either the compliment or the complaint, as she had noticed that Pinkie had indeed pointed out of the window towards Twilight's castle and was wondering if there was a wolf somewhere in the direction she had initially pointed.

She was brought out of her ponderings when Lotus handed her her own cucumber slices. Smiling at both her service and her patience, she put them over her eyes and allowed herself to be led over to the mud baths.

“Oh, hey,” She heard Pinkie say in front of her. “It's a giant puddle! I know just what to do with that!”

Rarity's eyes widened as she remembered Pinkie's intense love of jumping in puddles every time the town had a rainstorm. She quickly levitated one of the cucumber slices away and looked, ready to dive forward and hold Pinkie back or, if necessary, tackle her out of the air.

However, to her surprise, she did not catch Pinkie in pre- or mid-leap. Instead, she had gotten a coat from somewhere and was laying it out on top of the mud pool.

She bowed deeply in mock-reverence. “After you, Milady.”

Rarity's sigh of relief transitioned into a chuckle at Pinkie's joke.

After a moment, however, Pinkie looked up at her expectantly. “Well, go on! Walk over it!”

Rarity blinked, looking for any trace of sarcasm or irony on Pinkie's face and finding none.

Looking unsure, Rarity slowly stepped forward, terrified that Pinkie would insist on her stepping fully onto the coat and, thus, falling face-first into the pool.

However, to her surprise, Pinkie's hoof dived under the coat, staying where Rarity's hoof landed and supporting her.

Rarity looked at Pinkie, seeing no strain on her face, and shook her head. One day, she would cease to be surprised how far Pinkie would go for a joke, but it seemed today was not that day.

Smiling, Rarity put her other front hoof over to the other side of the bath, followed by repeating the process with her back hooves. As she did, however, she noticed a logo on the coat.

Standing on the edge of the other tub, Rarity decided that a bit of turnabout was fair play and spoke over her shoulder. “I cannot help but notice, Ms. Pie, that that was one of Holly Star's pieces that you just caked in mud.

Peering out of the corner of her eye, Pinkie looked down at the coat, a little fretful. “Oh, was that bad? I didn't know that was bad, I'm sorry.”

Rarity snorted and turned away fully, her nose going in the air in exaggerated indignation. “Hmph, I should think so too! I mean, the sheer nerve – that you would even think of, let alone execute, such a horrific insult to high quality mud!” As she stepped down into the mud bath, she looked over her shoulder to see Pinkie, already submerged and with the slices over her eyes, realize the joke and smile.

“Heehee, I'm sorry. Next time, I'll be sure to use a Cocci original.”

“See that you do!” Rarity nodded firmly before letting her serious expression drop in favour of a relaxed smile as she settled in, replacing her own cucumber slice over her eye.

A couple of seconds passed before Pinkie spoke up again. “Wow, this feels really weird. Like, a good kinda weird, but still weird. Kinda like being hugged all over by a massive blob of goo!”

“Indeed,” Rarity replied, “I do recall thinking something similar the first time I experienced it. Albeit with a somewhat less... unusual simile. Still, I found that talking helped one get used to it faster.”

“I thought we were both more comfortable talking all the time anyway,” Pinkie pointed out.

Rarity cleared her throat, a touch embarrassed by Pinkie's not-entirely-inaccurate statement. “Well, I suppose one could say that, but I mean that it helps more than usual, especially considering the lack of visual stimulus.”

“Are you sure there isn't any “visual stimulus?” Pinkie asked. “I don't know – I can't see anything with these cucumbers over my eyes.”

To someone less attuned to Pinkie's mode of speaking, that statement would probably have sounded sincerely ignorant. However, Rarity heard that touch of affected innocence that signalled that Pinkie was making a joke. As such, she made sure to signal her appreciation by adding a touch of gentle sarcasm to her response.

“I'll be sure to tell you if we encounter some. Anyway, because you can't see anything but cucumber and almost all of your skin is covered by an unfamiliar sensation, keeping your sense of hearing busy should help you to adjust quickly.”

“Oh, okay. We better start talking about something, right?” Pinkie stated, despite that statement being infamously difficult to actually start a conversation with.

Fortunately, Rarity was prepared. “Quite. When I first experienced this, I was with my Mother and she and I talked for nearly the entire time. Well, I suppose it would be more accurate to say she talked to me. I was a bit busy... well, I wouldn't exactly say panicking, but...” She trailed off, leaving the implication hanging.

“Huh. I guess you were scared of getting dirty, right?”

“Oh, no!” Rarity said, casually enough to dispel any discomfort about the subject matter. “Even back then, I knew that there was a world of difference between the mud in the spa and the mud on a farm. In the same way as there's a difference between mixing blue and yellow paint to make green and mixing all the paints you have into a black-brown sludge.” Rarity shuddered a little at the thought.

“Huh, that makes sense.” Pinkie said thoughtfully. “So then why were you frightened?”

Rarity snorted gently. “Well, I was ten years old at the time. My hooves didn't reach the bottom of the bath and the mud was thick enough that I wouldn't sink. I was essentially floating unsupported. It was rather disconcerting.”

“Aw, that's so adorable,” Pinkie cooed. “Wittle Wawity being all scaredy-waredy, adrift in a strange sea until her Mommy's love helped her find her floating feet.”

Rarity sighed silently. She knew Pinkie meant well with that statement, but she couldn't help but feel a little patronized. Still, she did raise an eyebrow at Pinkie's wording. “You mean floating hooves, surely? I assure you, while I have changed a lot since I was a filly, I was neither a primate nor a dragon.”

“Won't Spike be disappointed?” Pinkie giggled. “And yeah, I know, but hooves doesn't start with an F, so I'd lose the absolutely amazingly awesome alliteration.”

“How adroit,” Rarity added.

“Still, though, your Mommy must have been really good – floating in this kinda mud couldn't have been fun at first. Musta been like one of those floaty, sense-cutty-offy tanks."

Rarity took a couple of seconds to figure out what Pinkie was referring to. “A sensory deprivation tank? Yes, I've heard about those – apparently one or two spas in Canterlot and Manehattan have them. I'm not certain I see the appeal myself. Part of the joy of the spa is experiencing it with friends. Besides, it must get terribly dull.”

“Yeah, I tried one once and you're kinda right,” Pinkie said slowly as she reminisced. “Everyone told me that, once you're in there for a while, you start having really weird thoughts and imagining crazy things. But I stayed in there for like an hour and didn't notice any difference.”

Rarity smiled at the unintended implication. “No, I don't suppose you would have.”

Pinkie giggled once again. “Though maybe it just transferred – the people on the outside sure started thinking and saying weird things when they opened it up and found all the balloons and streamers I'd put up in it.”

“Did you bring them in with you?” Rarity asked, genuinely not knowing which answer would make more sense for Pinkie.

“Of course I did, I always carry some in my mane. But saying that just confused them more – they'd looked through my mane earlier and didn't find them. So I told them you don't find the things in my mane until you're looking for them, but that just made them kinda whimper and ask me to leave. Still dunno what that was all about,” Pinkie finished thoughtfully.

Rarity decided to decline commenting on that. However, the only thing she could think of to say was a question she neither expected nor truly wanted answered. Still, she felt compelled to anyway.

“How do you fit so much in your mane anyway?”

Fortunately, Pinkie gave the only answer Rarity wouldn't be disturbed by. “I dunno. I just do. My theory is that it's so floofy that everything that goes into it get squished into a tiny thing until it comes out and springs back into shape again.”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, yes, I see, that doesn't make sense at all.”

“I didn't think it did!” Pinkie chirped back cheerfully. “I tried getting Twilight to figure it out, but after a few hours she just whimpered and asked me to leave as well. Is there something about super-smart ponies that makes them not like fluffy manes?” She asked, pondering.

“I... daresay it's something in that area, for you, at least,” Rarity said before diplomatically deflecting the question. “Still, I shouldn't think Twilight dislikes your mane too much.”

“Of course she doesn't!” Pinkie replied, not seeming bothered by the prospect. “She always likes patting it when I hug her. How could you not like my mane? It's the perfect hugging mane!” She declared officiously before continuing with a somewhat more contrite tone. “Not that I'm saying it's better than your mane, Rare, yours is way more pretty than mine. You must put a ton of work into it.”

“Oh, not really,” Rarity assured her. “All I need to do is...”

Ten minutes later...

“...with a tea tree and aloe vera solution, then a quick rinse and voila! Not that difficult at all.” Rarity finished.

“Wooooow!” Pinkie said finally. Throughout Rarity's explanation, she'd been giving positive responses that went beyond the normal “uh huh”s and “really?”s, giving Rarity the impression that she was listening, even if she didn't fully understand all of it. “So, I could have my mane looking as super-cool-fancy as yours if I took... let's see, you said that it takes you an hour, triple that for my hair, add another few for the step with the saffron infusion... could use cocoa butter there instead of... carry the seven... about four days!” She finished with a tone in her voice that suggested this was far less time than she feared.

Rarity chuckled. “I've no doubt you could, but I shouldn't worry about doing so. Looking good is not a one-size-fits-all quality. And a good thing it isn't, too, otherwise my job would be infinitely less interesting. A mane looking good isn't just a question of being expertly coiffed, silky smooth, with such natural lustre that it could... ahem!” She snapped herself out of her vanity daydream and continued. “It's much more a question of fitting the pony in question. A mane that looks wonderful on one pony might look utterly revolting on another.”

“Oh, like when Trixie turned your mane green, even though lots of ponies have green manes?” Pinkie asked.

Rarity suppressed a growl at the memory. “Yes, quite so. A mane should always compliment and enhance the pony who bears it. And your mane fits you to an absolute tee.”

“I must say I agree vith Miss Rarity, Miss Pie,” Lotus said from between them. A moment later, she felt Aloe's hoof on her back, signalling for her to take it and be led out of the bath. She could hear Lotus doing the same with Pinkie. “Your hair is vonderfully fitting for you. However, I do have vone request. Please tell us how you clean it, as I can see zat ze mud has gone rather deep into your tail.”

“Huh?” Rarity heard from beside her as she allowed herself to be led to an alcove in the room to be rinsed off. As she removed the cucumbers from her eyes, she saw Pinkie doing the same to reveal a slightly confused look. “Is it that bad? You guys are really good at this and you've probably cleaned hundreds of manes and tails. I thought you had, like, some kinda super special secret spa skills to clean it in a second.”

Lotus blushed a little at Pinkie's praise even as she examined Pinkie's tail with obvious worry. “Vell, ve do consider ourselves... relatively skilled in zis matter.” she picked up the shower head, turned it on and began spraying it on Pinkie's tail experimentally, “However, yours is by far ze most... vibrantly curly mane I have ever encountered. Ze fact zat you are able to keep it like this vithout any obvious tangles is... most impressive. I confess, I am somevhat at a loss as to how to properly rinse it out. How do you normally do so?”

“Oh, easy peasy, lemon squeezy on a Breezie!” Pinkie chirped. “I just shake all the stuff out. Watch this!”

Rarity and both the twins all started speaking at the same time, all at different volumes.

“Miss, zat vill not be...

“No, Miss, please don't...”

“PINKIE, NO!”

However, after the initial outburst, they all covered their faces, trying to protect them from being splashed with mud from a pony shaking like a wet dog.

However, after a couple of seconds, Rarity found that no such splashes were occurring. She could hear a fair bit of heavy liquid impacting the floor, but it seemed that none of it had been launched towards her. Uncurling herself from her defensive stance, she saw what Pinkie meant.

Rather than the massive, full-body shake that her statement had implied and that anyone who knew her would have expected, Pinkie was instead shaking herself, particularly her tail, slightly but immensely quickly – vibrating herself. It wasn't at impossible speeds, despite the fact that Pinkie may well have been capable of achieving them, but it was fast enough to make her seem something of a stationary blur. And, sure enough, as she did so, the mud in the tail was sliding out, helped along by the shower's water until it fell out and onto the floor. There was a tiny amount that splashed onto Lotus, but no more than an ordinary shower would cause.

After about twenty seconds, she slowed down, bringing her tail to a stop and allowing the water to take away the last few specks of mud. She put a hoof to her head for a second, steadying herself before leaning against the wall of the shower area.

“Wooooo, that was really shaky-uppy! I feel all discombobul-obulated!”

Rarity frowned, the whole scene giving her serious concerns. “Pinkie, are you feeling... entirely well? Not feeling queasy or poorly at all?”

It wasn't that Pinkie had acted as if she was sick, but it did strike Rarity that she had been extraordinarily sedate throughout their whole trip. By Pinkie's standards, that is – for anyone else going to the spa, this would be entirely normal. However, for Pinkie, it seemed almost unnatural in its naturalness. She still talked like Pinkie, she still acted like Pinkie, just a worryingly calm and sedate Pinkie.

She obviously wasn't going through one of her... funny turns – her still-curly mane and regular cheerful tone made that clear. In fact, she seemed to be having just as much fun as she usually did while hanging out with her friends. She was just expressing it somewhat mutedly.

This was compounded by Pinkie's smile at Rarity's question. “Yeah, feeling just fine, Rare! How are you feeling?”

“Er, fine.” Rarity replied offhandedly and she considered. She thought back over the previous week to all the times she had encountered Pinkie. She had seemed fine at Berry Punch's birthday party and Carrot Crunch's Cute-ceañera. She hadn't seen her much during Filthy Rich's merger celebration, busy as she was with what networking she could achieve at a Pinkie Party, but she hadn't noticed anything wrong. She obviously hadn't been present at Lyra and Bon-Bon's anniversary party, but she hadn't heard anything problematic about Pinkie or the private celebration she threw. Of course, then Truffle Shuffle, Big Mac, Octavia and Twist all had their birthdays back-to-back, the latter two on the same day, but Rarity had only attended Big Mac's – even for someone as social as her, that many parties in close succession was a bit much.

Still, she couldn't think of anything that suggested Pinkie was feeling any less... Pinkie than normal, so she just settled for asking. “You're sure? You're not feeling bad at all. Because, provided nothing is contagious, it would be no problem – the spa is a great place to recover from such things.”

Pinkie's smile became a little more gentle. “Rarity, I really like how much you care about how I'm feeling, but don't worry – I'm not sick at all. I feel like a rainbow!”

Rarity quirked an eyebrow up. “So, unkempt, rash and prone to naps and crashing?” She asked with an amused smirk.

Pinkie returned the look. “Nope – spicy and not fit for pony consumption!”

Rarity giggled. “Well, do tell me if you start feeling... off at all.”

Pinkie nodded as the twins shut off the showers. “I will, but don't worry. Like you said, the spa's the best place for when you're not feeling at your bestity-best.”

Something about Pinkie's tone made Rarity pause for a second, but she couldn't identify exactly what. Before she could muse on it further, Aloe placed another pair of cucumber slices over her eyes. Throughout the shower, the twins had been careful not to wash any of the cream on their faces off, as they were meant to stay on for longer than the mud baths lasted. She lifted a hoof for Aloe to take, allowing her to lead Rarity to the massage tables.

“Now, if you vould just lie here, Miss Pie, ve vill get started vith your massage.”

“Okey Dokey Lokey!” Rarity heard Pinkie climb on top of the table. Climb, not hop or leap, which furthered Rarity's suspicions that something was off about her. Before she could worry further, however, the massage started and thinking at all suddenly didn't seem like such an important activity.

“So, how does this work?” She heard Pinkie ask. “Is it like a pressure point kinda thing or WHOOOOooooooooaaaaa!" She trailed off into bliss.

Rarity smiled, the little thought she still had focused on being happy that Pinkie was enjoying the experience.

“My vord, Miss Pie, you have so much tension in your back. It vould perhaps be sensible to get at least a massage more often, don't you zink?”

“Uwaughaughaughaughaugh!” Pinkie replied eloquently.

“Zat vould be vise,” Lotus agreed.

Or Something More?

By the time Rarity was capable of thinking clearly again, she and Pinkie were already near the end of their hoof-bath. She blinked as she enjoyed the feeling in her body and horn. She remembered, albeit somewhat hazily, that Pinkie's tension had been severe enough that her massage took significantly longer than Rarity's, allowing them to fit in the horn filing as well. Not only was it a useful bit of time management, but it avoided the awkwardness of Pinkie waiting around for Rarity to finish. She doubted Pinkie would mind any more than Fluttershy did, but it was still probably for the best that it not be necessary.

“Wooow!” Pinkie groaned happily next to her, signalling that she too had come out of her pleasure-haze. “That was woooonderful. I feel all light and smooth and floppy like a loose piece of asparagus. Though hopefully my pee doesn't smell funny now. Hmm, gonna have to ask Gummy about that.”

Fortunately, Rarity was still feeling too good to think further on that statement. “Indeed, I always come out of it feeling ten years younger,” She said, though ten years younger than what was carefully omitted.

“Mmmm,” Pinkie murmured. “And now we're getting our hoofsies washed. Neat.” She paused, her head tilting to the side. “Wait, why is that again?”

As if on cue, the twins appeared and led them to another room. “Ve must bathe your hooves before the hooficure – it makes ze whole process easier.”

“Ooh, are we getting our hooves prettificated? Cool!” Pinkie said as she clambered onto one of the chairs.

“Erm, indeed,” Rarity said hesitantly as she, too, took a seat. A thought occurred to her in regards to Pinkie getting a hooficure, but she wasn't sure how to bring it up. After a few seconds thought, she decided to simply say it. As the twins began working on their hooves, she turned to her companion. “Though, I don't suppose yours will last for long, will it?”

Pinkie tilted her head at Rarity again. “What do you mean?”

Rarity sighed. “It's just that, well... please don't take this the wrong way, but you do lead an especially... active lifestyle, and a hooficure doesn't tend to last especially long when used to jump, run and play as you so enjoy doing.”

Pinkie thought about this for a moment. Then, she looked up and said, “You make very pretty dresses, Rarity.”

Rarity blinked at the non-sequitur. “Oh, well, thank you.”

“Like, super-pretty,” Pinkie continued, her tone suggesting no double-meanings to the praise. “I mean, when somepony has one of your dresses, they'll probably keep it forever and wear it all the time.”

Rarity sighed wistfully. “Well, fashion changes aside, that would be nice, but alas that can't really happen – cleaning, accidents and general wear and tear mean that even the most well-crafted dress will eventually have to be... respectfully retired.”

Pinkie nodded, humming. “So, you're saying that something pretty doesn't have to last forever – that it's okay if it doesn't, as long as it's pretty while it does stick around?”

“Yes, exactl- ah!” Rarity finished, seeing where Pinkie was going. “Well, be that as it may, it would be nice to preserve your hooficure for... just a little longer. An end being inevitable does not, after all, mean it should be expedited.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Maybe. I guess we kinda come from different worlds. You come from a world of dresses, where things are meant to last years and look good on a pony or a poniquin. I come from a world of cupcakes, muffins and deliciousness, where you can make things as fancy and beautiful as you like but, if it doesn't get eaten, it's all for nothing.”

“Hmm,” Rarity thought for a moment. “Perhaps we could come to some sort of compromise. I mean, if you were to simply refrain from... bouncing quite so much, I'm sure that would extend the hooficure's life considerably.”

“Oh, well why didn't you say so?” Pinkie beamed, her free foreleg waving reassuringly. “If that's all, I'll just stop bouncing for the rest of the day.”

Rarity's eyes widened and her head jerked back slightly as if physically struck by the impossibility of what she'd just heard. She hadn't expected Pinkie to be happy even reducing the amount she hopped around, let alone ceasing altogether. While it was far from unknown for Pinkie to walk normally, pronking was by far her preferred means of locomotion. Hearing Pinkie agree to stop bouncing for the day was like hearing Rainbow Dash say “Nah, no need to strain my wings, I'll just walk there. No rush!”

Rarity sighed, her doubts from before resurfacing. She considered trying to gradually wheedle the information out of Pinkie, but the remaining relaxation from the massage and horn filing and the fact their treatment would soon be coming to an end encouraged her to simply ask, “Okay, Pinkie, what's going on?”

Pinkie looked up, smiling guilelessly. “Well, we're sitting here, getting our hoofsies...”

“That's not what I meant, Pinkie. I mean what's going on with you?”

“Huh? Nothing's going on with me, Rare my mare!”

“Pinkie, I don't think that's true, I...” She held her free hoof up to forestall any objections. “I fully believe you that nothing bad is going on with you, but it's become obvious that there has been something distinctly... off about you for this entire trip. Do not misunderstand me, it is far from a bad thing – in fact, your placidity thus far has been admirable. However, you must admit it is a touch unusual for you.”

Pinkie opened her mouth to respond, her smile suggesting she was about to deflect the accusation, but no sound came out. After a moment, she sighed and her smile lowered into something more relaxed. “Huh. Guess I can't get anything past you, Rare.”

Rarity gave her a gentle smile, hoping to perk hers back up. “As I said, it's not something I disapprove of, I'm simply curious about why.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Well, it's kinda the reason why I wanted to go to the spa at all. After the past few weeks, I'm just... I'm a little tired right now.”

“Tired?” Rarity tried not to let too much of her skepticism show on her face, but she wasn't sure she did a great job of it. “You? Are tired?”

“Uh huh!” Pinkie said, not elaborating further.

“And this is... the first time this has happened?” Rarity asked, unable to think of any other times she'd seen Pinkie act like this.

“Oh, no!” Pinkie said casually. “It's happened a bunch of times. Often around you girls.”

Rarity frowned in confusion. “Er, well, forgive me if I seem incredulous, darling, but I cannot recall any other times I've noticed you being fatigued in the slightest.”

“Well, yeah,” Pinkie gave a slightly melancholy giggle, “that's cause I don't get tired like other ponies. Well, I mean, I kinda do, but, like... you know how most ponies get when they're tired? All slow and heavy and droopy?”

“Like you have been during today's treatment? Er, relatively speaking, of course.” Rarity quickly added.

Pinkie nodded. “Uh huh! Cause I do act that kinda tired when I let myself, but usually I can deal with it. I just have to put in a bit of effort – a bit of pep in my step to keep up my rep.”

“Until you can have a rest, I suppose?” Rarity asked, the tiny beginnings of understanding starting to show.

“Yeah, except sometimes it doesn't come for ages, so I have to put more and more effort in to keep moving like I oughta,” Pinkie explained, beginning to look a little uncomfortable.

Rarity nodded. “I see. Although, I can't really recall seeing you ever run out of such energy. Perhaps after the whole mirror pool incident, but...”

“Oh, that's not the problem – I've never really run out of effort like that... yet,” Pinkie added, her discomfort increasing. “But, see, when you're all tired and your body's trying to get you to slow down and rest, it really doesn't like being ignored. I mean, who does, right?” She gave a weak chuckle before continuing. “So, it likes to show how tired you are in... other ways, and since you're so focused on keeping up the energy, you can't really stop it.”

“I see, and in what ways does this fatigue usually... exhibit itself?” Rarity asked, hoping that adding to the conversation would make Pinkie feel less like she was giving a confession.

“Well, when I get tired, I kinda... lose my filter. Like, you know how you have a bunch of thoughts going through your little head all the time, but you don't say all of them and you stop yourself saying some of them because you know you shouldn't?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “You have thoughts you don't say out loud?”

“Uh huh, loads of them,” Pinkie answered, unaware of the friendly jibe in Rarity's question. “Except, when I get really tired, I start... not keeping them in. Like, the bit of me that says “Hey, maybe you shouldn't say that” gets slower and slower and I start saying more and more things that I wouldn't if I was more awake and careful.”

Rarity hesitated for a second before admitting, “I... must confess, I can't recall noticing.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Yeah, it doesn't often get that bad and when it does, I can usually stay away from ponies or talk about things that wouldn't get me in trouble. But sometimes I can't, sometimes things keep coming up and I can't get any time off to rest and I can't keep up my filter and sometimes...” she closed her eyes and swallowed, looking intensely pained at the memory, “sometimes I make the sweetest, kindest, gentlest pony in Equestria cry because I can't keep my stupid mouth shut!”

Rarity blinked as things fell into place, recalling the incident with Fluttershy and the Ponytones, when Pinkie had caused Fluttershy to flee from her cottage, crying.

Rarity only knew about what had happened next after hearing it from Fluttershy. Apparently, the next day, Pinkie had turned up on her doorstep in tears, apologizing profusely and literally begging for forgiveness. No matter how much Fluttershy assured her that she was okay, that she didn't hold a grudge and that everything had worked out for the best, Pinkie had refused to be consoled, thinking that she had done something almost unforgivable. Since then, she had been helping Fluttershy any chance she could get, in the hopes of making it up to her.

Admittedly, Rarity got the distinct impression that Pinkie no longer felt obligated to help Fluttershy so much and continued to do so because she simply liked spending time with her, but clearly the memory was still painful.

And now, Rarity understood the whole incident a lot more – Pinkie was immensely tactless, even by her standards, and learning how she got affected by fatigue made the whole thing make a lot more sense.

“I understand, Darling. So, you're getting tired again...”

“Getting there,” Pinkie interjected, wiping the beginnings of tears with her free leg, careful to get nothing on her newly shiny hoof. “I'm nowhere near that bad yet, but it's definitely starting to get a bit hard. So, I thought, since you always talk about how relaxing the spa is, maybe I could come and, like, switch off for a while.”

At that statement, something began building rapidly at the back of Rarity's mind. It was just about to spill into the forefront when she asked. “So, if you don't mind me asking, what is it that's causing you to become so... stressed?” The word seemed almost irreconcilable with Pinkie, but the building thought made it seem far less inappropriate.

Pinkie giggled softly. “Geez, Rare, isn't it obvious? I've thrown eight parties in seven days and now I've only got two days to prepare for Twi's Alicorn-iversary. That's a bit too much party, even for me.”

And, at that, it occurred to Rarity – a revelation. It was something that she'd always known intellectually, but had never truly accepted, deep down. But now, after having had it brought into such sharp focus, she found herself, for the first time, understanding and truly believing it.

“You're a pony!” She uttered, astonished.

“You're a unicorn!” Pinkie replied instantly. “What are we doing?”

“No, no, I mean...” Rarity paused, trying to put her realization into words. “Well, you... The fact is, Pinkie, that you usually give the impression of being far more than simply a pony. When one watches you zipping around, bouncing all over the place, defying the laws of physics and being seemingly everywhere that needs a smile at once, it becomes incredibly easy to stop thinking of you as a pony and more as... a force of nature. A living pile of energy. Joy, vitality and fun ponified. I very much doubt you are unaware of this. In fact,” Rarity looked Pinkie in the eye and gave her a knowing smirk, “unless I'm very much mistaken, you tend to encourage others to think of you as more of an avatar of happiness than a mare, am I right?”

Pinkie looked away, a little uncomfortable but still smiling. “Okay, yeah, you caught me.” She looked back at Rarity, her head held a little higher. “As a pony, I'm flesh and blood, I can be ignored, I can be distressed; but as a symbol... as a symbol, I can be un-bring-downable; I can be... everlasting!”

Rarity nodded. “Oh, I fully understand you wanting to be seen as a ponification, an ideal. But you're not, are you?” As soon as Aloe had finished on her hooves, Rarity climbed down, walked over and put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. “You are a pony – as mortal and finite as any of us. You have your weaknesses, you have your faults... and you have your limits.”

Pinkie said nothing in response, simply nodding along with Rarity's words.

“And, well, the next time you should feel like you're... starting to slip, please remember that we're all here for you, that you needn't feel ashamed of admitting your mortality to us and that...” she sighed, thinking over the whole experience and deciding that, yes, she should say this, “that you have a standing offer to accompany me to the spa whenever you feel like you need to, as you say, switch off for a while.”

At that, Pinkie's face lit up. “Really?!”

“Well, within reason, of course – I don't intend to drop everything to come at a moment's notice, but you did initially ask to come within the next couple of days, so you're obviously aware of that. And, that said, I would be delighted to accompany you whenever you feel like it.”

Pinkie nodded rapidly, a trace of her usual energy coming back before fading again, her nodding slowing. “Wow, thanks a whole bunch, Rare! That'd be wonderiffic! I'll let you know when I start feeling tired and we can plan the whole trip.”

“Indeed,” Rarity said as she helped her friend down from her chair. As she did, though, something occurred to her. “Although, I do have to ask: why didn't you simply say something about how you were feeling before?”

“Oh, that?” Pinkie replied cheerfully. “That's because watching you and the spa ponies get all scared every time you thought I was gonna do something wrong was really funny!”

Rarity and the twins, both of whom had been listening intently to the whole conversation, exchanged a look of realization, shame and a touch of annoyance at having been “got”.

After a moment, though, Rarity closed her eyes and gave a single small laugh, soon echoed by Aloe and Lotus. “A little mean-spirited for you, darling, but since the joke was predicated on our... less-than-charitable assumptions about how you would behave, I suppose it's forgiveable.”

“That's good – forgiveable is always better than un!” Pinkie said as the two walked towards the spa's exit. “Say, Rarity, after you did or didn't bring me here today, I was gonna go round to Fluttershy's for tea. Would you like to come?”

Rarity gave Pinkie the brightest smile she'd had all day. “I'd be delighted.”

And so she did.

The tea and conversation was delightful – even when drained of her usual energy, Pinkie's imagination and spontaneity were undiminished. Eventually, though, the three all returned to their homes (or stayed there, in Fluttershy's case), Rarity having a lot to think over from her day.

Two days later, a massive, town-wide party was held to celebrate the anniversary of Twilight's ascension. It was a truly gargantuan affair, with decorations, food, drink and entertainment for all the town, as well as the many who visited especially for the occasion. It was so large, in fact, that it seemed almost laughable to imagine that one pony could do so much.

But Rarity knew better. She knew that this wonderful festival was the work of one and the work – the long, hard, dedicated work – of a pony. Not a force, not a higher being, but a pony.

She wouldn't have it any other way.

Author's Note

Well, that was interesting.

This was an experimental fic, in more ways than one. For one thing, normally I like to plan out my stories fairly well in advance. This time, however, I sort of let Pinkie and Rarity guide me where they wanted to go. I had a rough idea of how the sequence of treatments in the spa would go, but as for what they did and talked about while they underwent them, it was kind of written on the fly.

The other experimental aspect is that it was sort of a test with writing Pinkie's character. I always think it's an interesting thought experiment to see what aspects of a character one can temporarily remove and still remain the same character. For instance, Fluttershy's nervousness and quietness are both integral parts of the character, but she can still have times where's she's braver or louder than normal while still remaining very definitely Fluttershy. However, if one removed her kindness and had her act actively malicious, that would make essentially a different character, as happened during Discord's first escape. What parts of a character are necessary for them to remain that character?

In this case, if Pinkie was drained of her usual energy - still as cheerful and dedicated to happiness as ever, but no longer hyperactive about it - would she still be Pinkie. I thought she probably would be and this story is the result of that thought.

Anyway, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed this little bit of fluff.