MLP-Multiverse: Chimera - The Snake's Charm

Chapter 4: Dick In A Box

"Hey, sometimes we make mistakes. We can't always decide how we're gonna react."

We work to remove the captives from their cages, when I see something that makes me stop dead in my tracks. One of the captives is a tall and very strong looking woman who I assume was a raider at some point, given her appearance, but the second is... a PONY. There is no denying it. She looks JUST like me. Her eyes are huge, and she has a long, shaggy red mane and a freckled face. She even has WINGS of all things, sticking right out of her back. While I want to see if she has a tail like I do, I am not gonna go randomly checking out her ass, at least, I think she's a she. Beyond that, there's another detail I wanna check, but that's even more personal. I'm not gonna ask her to take off her pants, let alone the fact that they're wearing nothing but rags, so I try to remain calm as I reach out a hoof as if to shake hands with her.

"Hey... you're a pony, like me?" Is all I manage to spit out.

"Uh, yeah, I am." she looks a bit shocked herself, but I hope I'm not screwing anything up. I admittedly flip out a bit, sputtering...

"Oh, I'm asking a stupid question, huh? sorry." I probably look stupid, but she smiles a beautiful smile, still looking pretty cute in those rags.

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm just uh, a little surprised to meet another Pony." I was right, she was just as confused as I was. I take a quick glance back at the raider, and he waves, as if waiting for us to finish. He doesn't strike me as a hardcore raider, I'm curious as to what his story is.

"Hey, where are you guys gonna go from here?" I ask the mare.

"Oh, I dunno about her-" She gets cut off by the woman shouting what sounds like "River's Shitty" and running off. I dunno what that was about, but I'm asking the mare anyway. I turn to her and she begins again, "Why's the river shitty? Anyway, like I was saying, I want to go home. um... I THINK I can tell you. I have a city I live in further up North and really far to the East, where there's a lot more of us. We tend to group together, which is part of why it's so weird to see you around here. Do you live here?"

I look at Butch and he starts to look at me funny before butting in with, "What, you dunno about us? We're the Tunnel Snakes of Vault 101, and the Tunnel Snakes rule!" I notice her stifle a laugh before she answers him.

"So that means you're from a vault? We heard rumors from the raiders that the humans came out of the Earth from vaults just like our stables. Of course, we never even knew they existed before the Great Light, so maybe they've ALWAYS been here, like MOLE PEOPLE..." she lifts her hooves up and drapes them in front of her body, as if trying to scare someone. VERY funny...

"Great Light?", I respond, "What's that supposed to be?"

"Oh, that was the big ball of light that Celestia said would destroy us all unless we hid underground."

I stand there for a moment, perplexed. "Wait a minute, who on Earth is Celestia?", I ask her.

"Oh, you don't know?", she seems confused, "She was our Princess about 2 centuries ago. Ya know, royal Alicorn, beautiful flowing mane of light? She is the very essence of the sun?" I am drawing a complete blank. I point out that I still have absolutely no idea who she's talking about, and she responds with "Wow... you really don't know. Well, I'll tell you what...", she points to my Pip-Buck, "I'll show you the directions to my town, and if you decide to stop by, I'll tell you ALL about it, okay? I'll also remember to thank you properly." and she gives me that same cute smile. Wow, after what she'd been through, the fact that she seems so impossible to keep down is a little heartwarming.

"Absolutely, uh, mind if I ask you something though? Like... in private?" As soon as I finish this, her eyes light up, and she seems to get a rise out of the request.

"Ooh, you want my reward NOW!? You dirty boy..." Oh geez, that's what she meant by reward? Holy shit... oh no, now she's teasing me.

"No, no... just pony stuff. I have a question, and it's just for us Ponies. Butch, can you watch the wimpy guy while I talk to her?" As I hear an agreement from Butch, I hear a small complaint from the slaver.

I move behind the hill that the raiders attacked us from, the mare behind me, when she speaks again. "My name's Ellie, by the way. Nice to meet you."

Ellie... even her name is cute. Okay, with my luck, SOMETHING has to go wrong about now. "Okay, Ellie. This is gonna sound really weird, but humor me. I need to see your butt."

"Oh dear Celestia, you are nasty! I thought you would at least wait to visit me, but...", She slowly begins to strip, her waistband around her flanks, and a wave of guilt begins to eat at my stomach,"... I suppose you can take me here. We'll rut like a couple of dirty, savage beasts..."

"No, no! I just want to... I want to see if you have a mark. Like mine, see?" Without thinking, I pull down my pants to show her my rear end, on which, my right cheek has a huge picture of a dark green snake with a yellow eye and a fang. "See, I have this picture that... uh, Ellie?" I see her face turn a bright pink, and her jaw hang open as she stares at something... something that ISN'T my tattoo. Oh crap. "Um, Ellie, I am so sorry, I was just trying to-"

"WOW! It's so big... Is THAT a Tunnel Snake?" She exclaims excitedly, eyeing my member as it hangs between my legs.

"Okay, enough. I just wanted to-" I try to explain that I wasn't trying to do anything dirty and zip my pants back up when she butts in.

"Hey wait! I can tell you about that mark, but please... can I look a bit longer?" She gives a guilty smile and looks away from my eyes, adding, "I also have something to show you, okay?" I agree and she begins to explain exactly how I got that mark. When a Pony, Unicorn, or Pegasus discovers a talent or trait that makes them special, they get something like a brand called a "Cutie Mark". I couldn't think of anything I did to receive it, but it DID appear after that time Butch and the guys brought beer to celebrate my initiation into the Tunnel Snakes. We all got drunk, and when i woke up, there was that snake picture right there on my ass cheek. Strangest thing, since I went to the vault tattoo artist, and he told me he didn't remember touching a neon-green horse ass with his tattoo gun... FUNNY...

"So... does that mean being a Tunnel Snake is my destiny?", I ask, "That doesn't sound too special. What if I wanna be a mechanic, or a cook or something... maybe BOTH?"

"Well, maybe it's just cause you're sneaky, or green, or you have those eye-..." I think she notices my reaction, as she finishes with "... um, nevermind, that's probably not it."

"It's no problem", I correct myself, "I just feel a bit weird about em. Sometimes I think they're cool, other times, they creep me out."

"Well, a cutie mark doesn't always define who you are, It just shows you a bit about yourself. If you want, I can show you my cutie mark. Maybe you can see for yourself." and she begins to tug at her pants again. I'm really not in the mood, as we still have a vault to bring supplies to, and we just got finished slaughtering a gang of raiders. Hell, one of them is still here. I decide to humor her, and just take a quick look.

"Ok, but the three of us should really get back ho-WHAT THE F-" I begin, but remember we're supposed to be talking privately, so I quiet my voice and ask, "What the fuck is THAT?"

That sneaky mare lowers her eyelids and adds with a certain husk to her voice "You mean my blank flank, or the other thing?" she starts giggling, of course she starts giggling. I KNEW something was up.

"Perhaps YOU have the makings of a Tunnel Snake?...", I remark, rolling my eyes. "Let alone the fact that you're a guy, AND somehow the most adorable mare I've met..."

"Oh, you are SO sweet." her... HIS face lights up as he smiles and hugs me close, that thing between his legs dangerously close to me. It's a little small, but I'm not taking any risks.

"Enough, enough... hold on.", I push him back and keep talking. "You still haven't answered my question. Why don't you have a cutie mark? and uh... why were you hitting on me? You're a guy.

"Hey, I am NOT a guy. I'm a beautiful young mare. That should be obvious.", he smiles again, and throws his hair back dramatically. How is he so CUTE? This is really fucking weird. "The thing is... I just happen to have a stallion's member. Do you like it?" and he covers his face, blushing heavily.

"I've... never even met another pony before, I have no damn idea, but for fuck's sake, the cutie mark? please?", I insist.

"Fine... well, it's kind of embarrassing. You've been stuck with humans your whole life, think about cutie marks as... puberty. If I were a girl, I would never have gone through puberty. I would always look, well, like an awkward teenager. In our world, I'm basically that one girl in class that never reached that special point in her life." All of this reference to him being a girl is weird as hell, and I would really like to go home, but I can't help wanting to keep talking to this strange stallion. He really knows how it feels to be the odd one out.

"Well, as much as we have to go, whaddya say we catch up later, like you wanted? eh... no sex though." He widens his eyes, visibly disappointed for about a split second, but he puts on a smile and looks me in the eyes. Dammit, those eyes.

"Okay, but I really hope you change your mind." He pulls his pants down one last time and hikes them up quickly. I look away and shake my head as he runs off in the direction he mentioned earlier, giggling all the way. I'm so glad he's entertained. I walk towards Butch, who I notice is talking to the slaver we spared, and I walk towards the both of them.

"Hey Butch, what'd the schmuck have to say?", I ask him, but the scrawny guy snaps at me.

"Hey man, now why are you throwin' around hate-speak like that? That is uncalled for.", this loser has the balls to get pissy with me for not killing him? This should be fun. Before I could say anything, however, Butch intercedes and steps in front of me.

"Hey scumbag, don't think you're outta hot water just yet. Fact is, you and your jerks attacked us, and the only reason you're still standin' is cause you can barely stand at all." I noticed the slaver's eyes start to get a bit teary, and he drops his hammer to the ground, just like that.

"Hey man... It's not like I wanted this. I didn't wanna be a slaver. I used to have a mom and dad, brahmin, a bag of junk to sell and everything, 'fore the slavers came and basically burnt and killed everything." He actually starts crying. Aside from us killing him, what would possibly make a slaver sad?

I had to know, "Hey, if you didn't want to be a slaver, why in the hell are you a slaver?", and for a second, he looks a bit guilty, but before I can wonder why, he gets up, holds out a hand and moves a bit closer.

"Well, first, how about we do some introductions? I'm Dick, nice to meet you guys.", regrettably, me and Butch started laughing like idiots. "Ugh, are you guys serious? It's a NAME. It's short for Richard."

"Well, I'm Snakebit, and this is Butch. Why didn't ya start with Richard?", i try to regain my composure and talk to him for real.

"I dunno, I've been called Dick by the slavers for as long as I remember. I never really liked those assholes. Thing is, I'm only with them for the same reason I'm here..."

I guess why in an instant, "You were spared."

"Yep. I used to live with my mom and dad, learning to be a junk salesman, I was gonna go into town to see if we could sell what we get shipped to us, like my dad did. It was gonna be my first day actually running the shop. Of course, this happened the same time the slavers showed up."

"So what happened, man?", Butch asked.

"I hid in a crate from our latest junk shipment while I heard my home and everything in it being shot up, and God knows what else.", he started shaking a bit. "I hid like a coward, and when they found me huddled up in that thing, I came out swinging with a hammer I found inside the crate. Thing I didn't tell ya is, Boss Nitro used to hang around with these two guys, Hacksaw and Skull. The only reason I got into the team was 'cause I busted 'em up. Skull didn't really live up to his name after my first swing, and Hacksaw was so broken he couldn't lift a gun, much less shoot it. The way they put him out of his misery like they did... It was so fucked up. He was supposed to be his friend!", and he starts panicking.

"Hey hey, Dick, calm down.", I put my hooves on his shoulders and tell him to breathe. That seems to work. "It's ok, You had no idea what was gonna happen, and ya wanna know something you did that was actually pretty damn good?"

"What?" he asked, looking up at me, suddenly looking a lot different from the guy aiming straight for my head with a hunting rifle.

"You lived. You survived, and now you have another chance. If those slavers are gone, maybe you can do something else. Do you know a place you can go from here?", I try to reassure him. Maybe he was in with the wrong crowd, but maybe he means what he's saying. "Dick, when survival is at stake, people do some crazy things, but now that ya don't have t-"

He interrupts me with, "Ya don't have to tell me twice, but, where do I go from here? I got no one to help me, no place to go, I uh... guys, help me out here?", he reaches out to me, and i look over to Butch, and I think of something.

"Well, that one stallion left before I could ask him where I could find some supplies, and to tell the truth, he trusted me enough with the location of his town, so I don't think openly telling his entire town that we're out here looking for food and supplies for an entire vault would be a good idea unless we wanna get thrown out on our asses, or locked away in a padded cell, so...", Dick raised his head, as if anticipating my idea. "I was thinking if you saw any places that might be a good idea to look for supplies, we could go with you, see that you aren't full of shit, and even put a good word in for you when we go back home?"

"Absolutely! I would love that! Um... first I gotta stop by this place though. It ain't good for supplies, but it's a certain spot I like to stop by every once in a while. My uh, friend is there. He's not like them though, he's a nice guy. Kinda why I always snuck off to see him.", the whole deal sounds fishy, but I am a bit curious. If he's telling the truth, we would be walking away with two allies and a good idea of where to find supplies.

I couldn't help but wonder how Wally, Freddie and Paul were holding up, One thing for sure, this wasn't the kind of day we were expecting. I look around at all of the slavers we just wiped out, and the armor and weapons they were carrying. I go with Butch to rummage through the remnants of the fight, bringing back several guns, I hash it out to one hunting rifle apiece, I keep the double-barrel, and I let Dick keep his sledge until we can trust him with a firearm. Butch thinks I'm crazy, letting him keep that thing, but I see something in him. I don't know what, but it makes me feel like he's not as bad as one would think.

The slavers didn't have any food, but they were carrying chems for some reason. I found a syringe, a tin of tablets, and some bottle of huge pills. The syringe is something called "Psycho", the tin is "Mentats", but the bottle has me confused. We have a medicine called "Buffout", but the bottle here was something called "Buck". What in the hell is this? I turn to Dick and he examines the bottle, before stating, "Oh, that was for the pony. Humans and Ponies have different medicines due to different physiology. As far as I've heard, it would be extremely dangerous for humans to take medicine designed for horses, so of course the slavers were doing it for fun.", he rolls his eyes and laughs, "Ya know, I hate to say it, but they were a bunch of crazy idiots. I'm kinda glad they're gone. Izzat bad?"

"Well, I don't think so. Butch, what do you think?", I turn to him, apparently pulling what looks like a bottle of whiskey out of a dirty, bloodied pocket.

"Huh? What do I think of what?", he answers, taking a swig.

For some reason, I'm brimming with confidence as I say this, like I'm ready to really convince him of something. "Dick is glad that the loser assholes who killed his family, made him stick around their stupid gang under fear of death, sold ponies and Humans into slavery, and tried to kill us are dead, but is that a BAD thing?"

The first to laugh is Dick, clearly I succeeded in convincing him. The next to laugh is me, happy in my success. Finally, Butch decides to join in. Maybe this will work out better than I expected.

"Okay guys, time to hit the road. Dick, where's this place you mentioned?", and he walks beside me, takes a while to look over the map, and points to a specific spot on the map. It's only a bit north-west of here, and we should be able to find somewhere with food around there, if not here. "Alright, then let's get moving.", as soon as I finish this sentence, Butch walks to my side and asks me a quick question.

"Hey man, earlier you said "that one stallion", yeah? ain't a stallion a guy?", I really didn't feel like answering that question, but I did.

"Yeah, he was actually a dude."

"No fuckin' way! He had a foot-long the whole time? Man, maybe we shoulda asked HIM to join the tunnel snakes, huh?", and he gave an uproarious laugh. I give a smaller one. That schmuck always finds some way to make me laugh at myself.

Despite the obvious jokes at my expense, I was thinking only of getting that food for the vault, making sure our new companion was as good as his word, and more importantly, seeing if Ellie made it home safely. I dunno what it is, but I like him. I'm pretty sure it isn't anything like that, but it would be amazing to finally have a friend who's a pony. I could not wait to get started tomorrow, once we find this "special spot", that is.

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Depending on the Time of Day..."

Due to a high Charisma, but a lack of experience in the field of potential mates, you gain an enhanced empathy with "both sides", gaining access to special dialogue options with both males and females.