MLP-Multiverse: Chimera - The Snake's Charm

by Snakebit

Rating: mature
Tags: Drama, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Spike, Science Fiction, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Sex, Death, Fallout, Human, Anthro, Main 6
Length: 41430

The adventures of Snakebit, a hero in a parallel Equestria

In a parallel universe, nuclear explosions have ravaged Equestria and Earth, and beyond that, fusing the two worlds into one. A young earth pony named Snakebit, a greaser raised in a Human vault, makes his way across the wasteland in search of supplies, and eventually stumbles onto something bigger. He will uncover many ruins and oddities, face innumerable hardships, keep people together in dark times, and realize how much one pony can change, if he just tries his best... with a little help from his friends.

Published 2020-04-11 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-20 02:05:05 UTC

Prologue

Prologue: The Human Stable

The young mare coughed and sputtered to herself as she struggled onward through a radioactive storm. It had been a while since she had stepped outside, but she was beginning to regret it. Where she was going was not easy to find, but she had a map, hard as it was to read with sand blowing all around and bright green light flashing in your eyes every few minutes.

Heart O' Gold was a lovely young mare. A tall creature with two long legs leading into strong hooves and an upright body supporting two arms, also carrying hooves at the end, and two breasts like every other mare her age. Beyond the usual, however, she had many traits all her own. Big green eyes, with long lashes, a cutie mark of a little pot of gold with a sweet little heart carved onto the side, and a mane and tail that ORDINARILY flowed like a golden river, as her special somepony so often said, the cheesy stallion. Yes, it seemed every mare now looked like this. Ever since the nuclear explosion that destroyed this very world, they began to resemble the apelike creatures with no hair who started wandering the world, or what was left of it.

The Equestrians had run afoul of these apes on several occasions, where they would attempt to rob them, eat them, or even enslave them, which was strange as it was common knowledge among Equestrians that they were very amiable. If anyone so much as asked, they would be more than happy to help... MOST of them, anyway. Even so, the Humans, as they were called, seemed to delight in taking advantage of the once innocent creatures. To adapt to this environment, Equestrians learned to stand on 2 feet, and move like the Humans. They also learned to manipulate technology, as magic seemed to be "running out" since the nuke. This however, was common knowledge to all in Chimera, the new name for this collective hellhole.

What wasn't common at all, was the quest that this mare was on... sheltering a small bundle in her arms, which was another problem as Ponies, anthropomorphic or otherwise, carried no digits on their hooves. Traipsing through a collection of dirt, dead trees, collapsed skeletons of ancient Human stables, and dust storms in the middle of the night was unnerving, but she had to do it. This was all for her little bundle. Her little colt was only a few days old, and she knew she could trust her special somepony. As he told her, he had bargained for a safe spot inside of a gigantic metal stable that the Humans built before a gigantic flash of light consumed their world. She couldn't help but feel a sense of kinship with the creatures, even if she really didn't want to.

They called it the "vault", which was strange, as Heart didn't believe the Humans were bits, or bills, or whatever the humans held as valuable currency. This century it happened to be bottle caps... BOTTLE CAPS of all things.

"Well, no matter." she said between coughing out a mouthful of dust. "Time to find this vault." She had no time to lose, and she was beginning to feel faint from the radiation.

Eventually, stopping to rest from the storm in a nearby outcrop of rock, she noticed something. Somepony, or something, had tunneled into it, and there was a tiny wooden door built into the side. Checking a map that her somepony gave to her, she recognized the direction she was heading in, and immediately flung the door open, running inside to avoid the storm's further wrath. Upon spotting a telltale door, shaped like a great cogwheel, she figured this MUST be the place her somepony talked about.

"Hello!? Can anypony help me!?" she cried out in hopes that she would be welcomed with a little bit of kindness after all that she'd endured, and she was starting to feel very ill.

Heart stumbled and fell to her knees, still carrying the little colt, wrapped in a blanket, finally opening it's eyes. His eyes... she had barely remembered to just look at her foal, with all that had been going on. The little green colt's eyes were bright, and in a startling way, beautiful. They were a gleaming yellow, with slivered pupils like a reptile's. Just like his father. The foal looked up at her and reached out his small hooves... and with a great expense of effort on her sickly body, she brushed him aside. Now was not the time to get sentimental. She had to get the vault open. She had to keep her colt safe. Slowly making her way to the giant door, she finally reached out a hoof and pressed a red button on a small device near the entrance.

"Hello... Please, I need... HELP..." And with these words, she collapsed before the door.

With the sound of clanking steel and an array of hydraulic pistons hissing, the vault was opened. Before she passed, she believed she saw the vault's security run towards her, and an old man, presumably the Vault's leader, run towards her colt on the cave's floor. Although she wondered where her stallion was, and why security was sent out first, she looked at the old man carrying her foal, and felt at peace. The overseer of the vault thereafter carried the little colt into the vault, with a smile on his weathered, old face.

Chapter 1: Nuts and Colts... One Colt

Chapter 1: Nuts and Colts... One Colt.

"Sometimes, I wonder why he left, or what she was like. Did they even want me?"

Another day inside the vault. Cold steel walls and fluorescent lights in every hallway, and a bunch of skintight blue jumpsuits. MUCH too tight for my taste, considering I'm covered in fur. Everyone seems restless, I wonder why. Mr. Mack, the Overseer, told me to keep away from the Diner for some reason. Well, he's always been nice to me, so I won't ask any questions. I should check on Miss Ellen, I got her these aspirin for a reason. I want to make sure she's doing okay... She always told me that after she takes her "magic potion" that she gets really sleepy. I wanna tell her that the bottle looks like a vodka bottle, and maybe the wizard she got it from mixed them up, but maybe not. Well, I won't be a colt much longer, pretty soon it'll be my birthday, I think... I don't really count the days, but when I do turn 10, I'll get that Pip-Boy thing that everyone seems to have. It's supposed to be a common appliance, but in all the comic books I've read, it reminds me of some kind of space-age device, what was that story? Oh right, "Doom Mongous, the Monstrous, Muscular, Martian-Slayer from Mars"... wherever Mars happens to be.

He was awesome! a pony just like me, but with huge muscles all over, a cool-looking space helmet, and heavy power armor with a jet pack, so he could FLY! He always carried a HUGE weapon that fired big green lasers that exploded everywhere! He carried a wrist-mounted computer with him that looked just like the Pip-Boy, but he called it a "Pip-Buck", for some reason. Even more amazing, however, were the gauntlets he used. His armor let him use mechanical fingers to actually fire the guns. He traveled all over the far off planet of Mars, fighting evil aliens with horns and giant eyeballs, blowing them up with shotguns, lasers, rockets, and this big thing called a "minigun". Of course, I only have the one comic book, so I don't know what happens next. I suppose if he wasn't a pony just like me, I probably wouldn't like robots, monsters, and giant lasers so much. Sometimes I feel like there aren't many other ponies out there. It feels so lonely...

When I got older, I asked Mr. Mack why everyone around me looked different, the same as he did, and why they had so many others with them. he told me that I was a pony, a creature almost extinct after the great explosion that destroyed Earth centuries ago. Even more, some of them had horns, or wings! I asked him if I had a mom, like Butch's or a dad like how he was Wally's. He told me that my father left me a long time ago, and my mother... well, she didn't make it. Knowing I was different didn't make me sad, but being alone did. Maybe that's why Mr. Mack gave me that Doom Mongous comic. He can be a grouch, and he certainly didn't think much of my mom or dad, but he seems to take good care of me. Well, at least I have a few people who don't treat me like an outsider.

I walk into the bathroom, and again, I catch sight of the mirror... my eyes. They scare me sometimes. They remind me of an old animal I read about, a snake. Yellow, and with these horrible slit pupils like some kind of monster. Like the ones from the comic. They named me "Snakebit" for a reason, they said. Because my eyes and green fur reminded them of the now extinct snake. I always try to hide them behind my hair, cause it grows really fast. I'm in luck, cause today it covers them up, but I can still look ahead. Now, off to see Miss Ellen.

I move past the restrooms, and up to Butch and his mom's room. Butch is kind of a jerk sometimes, but I think he's just mad. I've never seen his dad either, but at least he has a mom. Miss Ellen may be sleepy, but she's a sweet lady. She looks really sad lately though. I wonder if it's because She's thinking about wherever Mr. DeLoria went. He probably left her too, like MY dad. Maybe they're BOTH dealing with it in their own ways. Like I said, she's nice, nicer than the lady that Mr. Mack assigned to watch over me. Miss Armstrong is usually waiting back at our room, or treating me like a baby, not to mention she pats my head a lot, and won't stop brushing my hair. I REALLY wish she would stop that. I know it seems mean, but something about her really makes me feel weird.

I open the door, and again, I spot two or three bottles of Miss Ellen's "potion" on the floor. I'm beginning to think she gets the wrong bottles on purpose... but I see no Miss Ellen. No Butch either. I leave the note I wanted to give her, and the bottle of aspirin that the vault's doctor gave me. She'll be happy I brought em over.

Well, this is weird. Everyone is gone, except the security patrolling the hallways. What is everyone doing? I feel a sudden shiver down my spine and look over to the atrium, right where the vault entrance should be. No... no no, the vault door must NEVER be opened! No way would they go outside! I run over to the vault door, but before I can reach it, a hand grabs my shoulders.

"Hey pony-boy!" oh crap... I only know ONE person who calls me that. Stevie Mack. "What the hell are you doin' headed for the vault door? Doin' something stupid, I hope?"

"Uh... Hey Stevie... How's the security training? Learn how to shoot a gun yet?" Remember Snake, Be polite. Keep his mind occupied with stuff he likes. SOMEHOW, I end up able to talk my way out of these things.

"Yeah, actually. They let me use a 10mm the other day for target practice. Betcha wish you could try it out, huh?"

I decided to indulge him, after all, I did have a fascination with the weapons I read about. "Yeah, actually. I never used one before, but that comic book Mr. Mack gave me had all kinds of weapons and stuff!" Smiling wide, I thought everything was going well...

"Hey, you call my dad "Overseer". It's who he is. You ain't on friendly terms with him, got it?"

My first mistake, trying to give him facts. "Yes I am. Mr. Mack is nice to me, and even if you and Wally are a bit hard to get along with, I still try."

All I noticed was a wide, nasty grin spreading across his face. "Yeah, you really think that, huh? that's almost cute. Our lil' Pony-boy has a family." What a jerk, I thought. Miss Armstrong didn't want me to swear... but I REALLY hated this guy. "Ya know, you didn't answer my question. WHAT are you doing by the vault door?"

"I'm looking for wherever everyone else has gone!" Crap... don't lose your temper, say something that would make him happy. "Do you think you could help, Officer Mack?" Immediately, he flashes another grin. This one's a bit like the first one, but dopier.

"Hehe, OFFICER Mack... Man, I love the sound of that. I cannot wait! Vault security!" I knew all about Stevie... he was a bit older, but that didn't make him smarter. If he was, he would know what I thought of him. His eyes light up whenever you talk about his career in vault security because he can't wait to carry a gun around at all times. He can't wait to smack people around with that club they give you. He wasn't just a jerk, he was a sadist. If the stories about mutants were true, He would have been a prime candidate to become one of those things.

Trying to think of anything else but the jerk in front of me, it finally hit me. "Wait a minute! if Mr. Mack told me not to go to the diner, but there's nobody around... I see what's going on."

"Oh yeah? How long did THAT ONE take ya?" the asshole stared me down as if I were an idiot. I did something I should have done moments ago and walk away, hearing the words "stupid pony-boy." along with a series of laughs. Just ignore him, Snake. Anyone would have checked the door. Hearing those horror stories about big ugly mutants that eat people, monsters with scary horns and sharp claws, giant bugs, or those crazy guys with armor and guns... maybe I was stupid. I actually thought they would want to leave.

I walk towards the diner, and I put my ear to the door, but before I could hear anything, the door shifts and opens right in front of me. What I'm seeing before my eyes blows me right out of the water.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone was in the diner! There was a birthday banner, and balloons, and... everyone was wearing party hats! I see the tables all have guests, including Grandpa Stanley. Andy, the vault robot, was floating around the counter, where a HUGE birthday cake was set down, perfect for eating. I didn't know my birthday was TODAY!

"Holy crap!" I piped up.

"Hey, watch the language, lil' man..." Mr. Mack walked up to me and knelt to my level. "Ok, kiddo, hold out your hand." I do as he says and there it is, slid onto my arm, right above my hoof, the PIP... BUCK? PIP-BUCK? Like?... just like?...

"Mr. Mack, why is it called a Pip-Buck?" I look up at him questioningly. For all I know, that comic book is a fantasy, or Sci-Fi, or whatever they call it, but here it is, a Pip-Buck! JUST like in Doom Mongous's story!

"Well, kiddo, that one was your mum's before she uh... ya know, let's get to the party. We spent all day settin' this up, you need to have some fun. Don't sweat the sad stuff.", and he made a big smile. He started to look nervous for a second, but I let it pass. I had a party to attend to. After this, I would start my first day of work. FUN. I walk over to one of the tables and see Butch sitting with Wally and Paul, two other kids I usually talk to. We have kids from a lot of different families, but for some reason, I'm the only Pony. I wonder where the rest of them went.

"Heya guys, whatcha up to?" I sit down beside Paul, and the three of them start laughing. I hear them throwing around names, like "Hell's Overseers" or "Vault Dwellers" or my least favorite, "Wally and the Big Cheese". I ask em "Hey, what are all the names for?"

"Hahaha, of course you don't know, Snake-eyes." Butch responds. He KNOWS I hate my eyes, dang it. I don't wanna fight him though, so I let it pass. "We're thinking of a name for our gang, Snake." as they continued coming up with ideas, I kept listening as I thought up some ideas. I thought of an idea, but I didn't know what they would think.

"Hey guys, how about the "Vault Snakes"? I wait for the coming storm of insults, but they don't come. I hear Wally mention that he prefers "Wally and the Big Cheese", but that's pretty normal. I add "You know, cause we'll be sneaky and deadly, and we'll fight anyone who crosses us with fangs!" all of a sudden, Paul intervenes.

"Yeah, and we have ourselves a snake already! Yeah... the Vault Dwellers was a bad idea anyway..." he seems a little defeated, so I tell him it was okay. I don't like it much either, but let's face it, to win, you need to lose a few times too.

"The Vault Snakes? cool. but one thing, why are you joining in?" Butch asked.

"Well, I just want to. You guys are my friends, ya know?" Immediately upon hearing this, I hear a massive amount of laughter. "ugh, whatever guys. Just tryin' to be cool. wanna grab some cake?" I walk over to the counter, only to hear a ZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRR... and to my horror, Andy, the vault's robot sawed my cake into... HUNDREDTHS! You know, in hindsight, it probably isn't a good idea to let a floating metal spider with a buzzsaw cut a cake. Crap, now what do we eat? I try to think of something, when all of a sudden, Old Lady Palmer walks over to me, pats me on the head and asks if I'd like my present now. I had no idea I was even getting one, but I'll accept it. She puts a fresh, sticky sweetroll onto my hooves, and tells me that it's not every day that a young man, or colt turns ten years old, so I should enjoy it. I walk back to the table, and I look at the other boys, wondering what to do. Paul's nice to me, even though he pokes fun at me sometimes. Wally's kind of a jerk, but he's smart, and his family has always taken care of me, so I like him. Butch has always given me trouble, but for some reason, I don't hate him either. I know what it's like to feel alone. Wait a minute, I'm not alone...

I break the sweetroll into fourths, and hand them out. Wally tells me he doesn't want it, since I touched it, so I scarf that piece. SO GOOD... So nice of Old Lady Palmer to stop by just to give me that roll. but after I eat the first piece, I hear something. Butch's stomach growls, and he looks over, hungrily. I can tell he's about to say something stupid, so I hold up my hoof, and I place the roll piece onto the napkin in front of him. He looks... somehow shocked.

"Hey Snake-eyes, what's the big idea?" He starts to get upset somehow

"I thought you looked kinda hungry, so I gave you my second piece of th-". i try to talk, but he interrupts me.

"You feel bad for me, or something? You trying to take pity on me?" He gets mad, even though he's already picking up the roll to try and stuff his face with it. I'm confused, but I decide to keep trying.

"No, I just heard your stomach growl, so I thought I'd give ya the last piece, since I already had one. I mean, they are a bit small." Again, he interrupts me by putting the last piece down angrily, pushing me onto the floor, and storming out of the diner.

"Stupid Pony. I don't need YOU to feel sorry for me. You're just a green, horse-faced, snake-eyed freak!" Alright, I'm upset now. I get up and put up my hooves. I know I can take a hit, and even if I didn't want to hurt Butch, hooves are a LOT harder than hands... but he's already heading out the door. I look over at Wally who mutters something to me. When I ask him, he tells me I just can't reason with him, but mostly because I'm an idiot myself. Does he ALWAYS have to be a jerk?

After I talk to the guests, Grandpa Stanley gives me a baseball cap, so I put that on, deciding to wear it for the rest of the party, and look around some more. Paul gives me a comic book, telling me it's definitely NOT from Wally, which does put me a little at ease. maybe he's NOT always a jerk. After stowing it in my pocket, I pick up the last piece of sweetroll and run out the door. It may be my party, but I want my friends to be there. I see Butch sitting down in the hallway, slumped against the wall. He looks over at me and gets up, his face red with anger.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone!?" He gets up, fists clenched, and yells at me.

"Hey Butch, will ya calm down? I was only trying to help." I just wish he'd realize that maybe someone just wanted to be a friend to him. Difficult as he is, I persisted. "Look, it ain't me feeling bad for ya. I just wanted to share the sweetroll with ya. You always talk about how much you like them..." I raise an eyebrow and hold it out, as if baiting him. He seems to get the picture, as he reaches out and swipes the piece of roll out of my hands.

"AHA! I knew you would let your guard down! I was just waiting for the right moment, ya know?" I rolled my eyes and agreed with him. He got another bit of food, so I felt like I achieved my goal for tonight. I turned to go back to the party, when he called out for me to wait.

"Hey, follow me real quick, I wanna show ya something cool." I feel taken aback, but I decide to listen. I dunno why he'd do anything stupid if I decided to share with him, so I follow him. Eventually he stops me and pulls something out. He presses a button on a small black handle, and a slender blade pops out. Instinctively I put my hooves up.

"Whoa, wait a second, WAIT. I'm not gonna stab ya or anything." He hands it over to me, and lets me hold it... It's extremely difficult, as I still have HOOVES, but apparently Equestrians can still hold smaller objects in their hooves, if just barely. "Wow, It's floating right over your ha-uh, hoof." he chuckles nervously, maybe he doesn't want to offend me for once. He was right though. The switchblade that Butch gave me to hold was hovering right next to my hoof. It was as if I was willing it to stay in place. I tried something fun, that thing I see some people do with pencils, twirling them in their fingers... sure enough, the switchblade started spinning around. Butch jumps about a foot in the air. "Whoa... how did you do THAT!?", He shouts excitedly.

I finally respond, "I have no idea." but this is really c-AAAAGH!" I jump a bit and point the blade to the floor. There it is, crawling across the floor, a radroach. The vault has had occasional pest problems, but the roaches were HUGE. Well, for roaches they were huge. about the size of a cat. That's another animal that they had before the great explosion. I know one thing for sure, Butch is scared to death of them. I don't know why, since he picks fights with everyone, so why just the roaches?

"AAAAAGH!" As if on cue, he runs to my side and freezes in place, staring at the great roach crawling towards him. I hold the switchblade steady, and turn to him.

"Hey Butch, you ok with me borrowing the knife?" His eyes go wide as he tries to spit something out, it sounds like a few things, kinda like "How are-", You're gonna- ", and "What!?" is the only thought I could put together, so I walk in front of him and pull the knife to my side. I step toward the roach, and it rears it's ugly head back and flickers those spindly antennae. It clicks it's mouth things, the part that looks like a finger moustache. the more I look at it, the more it unnerves me. I'll make this quick. I walk up to the creature, and as it jumps on me, I tense up. I shove my arm forward, and the roach lands right on the blade. As nervous as I am, having squashed a huge bug, the first thing out of my mouth is "What an idiot!"

"Snake... you WASTED that roach! that was awesome!" He runs up to me, slugs my shoulder, and starts leaping about like he drank a few too many Nuka-Colas. Man, speaking of which, I'm starting to feel thirsty. As butch sings my praises and runs over to kick the now-dead bug, I hand him the switchblade, and tell him where I'm going.

"Hey Butch, the party's almost over, you wanna go grab some Cola?" I offer him a hoof before he smacks it away.

"No way, Snake-eyes, I'm following you, then I'm taking yours." he closes his eyes and smiles proudly. I get the message. I head back to the diner and head straight to the Cola machine. I wait a minute, and study the machine. As I stare at it, I start to wonder, what if there are other pony things out there, like the Pip-Buck. I dismiss the thought, buy 2 bottles, and set one down for Butch to steal. He'll be happy. Soon after, the party ends. I have to go back to my room. I don't really like Miss Armstrong, but I'll have to deal with her for now. Think happy thoughts. Once I pass the G.O.A.T. I can start working. Maybe I can move out... I hope so. Well, maybe I can read that comic book once I get back. I look at the cover, and there it is. "Doom Mongous Versus Raw Marrow, the Martian King" WHOA! Wally gave me THIS!? No way... Finally, I can see what happens next!

Pip-Buck Stats:

Strength: 5 "You're a garden-variety Pony."

Perception: 7 "How does that tiny neck support those eyes?"

Endurance: 6 "Oooh... tough guy."

Charisma: 9 "A perfect gentlecolt. No, seriously."

Intelligence: 5 "Well, if AVERAGE is fine with you..."

Agility: 6 "Well, you'd put a house cat to shame..."

Luck: 2 "Somehow, you would break the Mirror Pool."

Chapter 2: Tunnel Snakes Rule!

Chapter 2: Tunnel Snakes Rule!

"Ya know what, considering my "family", you guys are the closest thing I've got."

Another morning in the vault. Man, these last few years were crazy. I began my life helping out around the vault wherever I could, mostly simple stuff like cleaning, lifting boxes from place to place, or transporting water from the purifier to the diner or the ration center. Truth be told, I've always had a lot of strength and stamina, at least more than some of my human friends, so this is pretty easy to me. Honestly, when my test came up, the only things to change were actual payment and a more specific workload. This was WAY too easy. As for my job, I always liked tinkering with machines... using em was different, I was always a low tech guy, but I did love fiddling with the wires and gears, finding ways to improve them or fix their problems. I repaired that defective buzz saw on Andy, since that same malfunction ruined my cake that on my tenth birthday party, but I don't blame him, these things happen. I even found a way to unhook my Pip-Buck once, because my fur was itching up a storm. Unfortunately, when I showed Mr. Mack, he got upset and started looking at me kinda strangely. I suppose you aren't supposed to remove it, so I slipped it back on.

As for other skills, I never really wanted to settle for one, so I kept a few skills under my sleeve. I read a lot of cookbooks in the vault's library so I could learn how to cook the kinds of food I like, and I would constantly hang out and practice using that switchblade with Butch, who got closer and closer to me after that incident with the roach, and even more so after an incident with Miss Armstrong, which we will discuss later, as much as I don't want to. I should mention she was another reason for a skill I practiced in... stealth. I left my old room, her as well, once I took my G.O.A.T., that's the "Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test. Even though I finished with my dream job, my teacher didn't seem happy, so I asked him how he got his job, and he told me

"This test is kind of a joke. if you want, you can look at the answers and fill it out however you want." He laughed and handed me a stack of papers.

Rather than that, I actually circled a few more answers. I told him I didn't want to spend my life with only ONE skill. I have more potential than that. As much as he laughed, I think he understood, as I circled "Jukebox Technician", since I knew no one would ever fix that thing, and that meant they needed a mechanic, "Vault Marriage Counselor", given how good i am at talking to the residents here, and finally "Fry Cook" since I love a good burger and fries, simple as that. I figured it was a great way to cheer someone else up too, which I told him. He said that this was almost impossible for anyone to take on, but I told him considering all the free time I have, and with the lack of young faces around, I'd be happy to take on the extra work. This caught his attention, as Everyone around the vault had indeed been talking about a decline in younger people roaming the vault. Everyone seemed to be growing up far too quickly, and no one seemed to be putting stock in the future. He looked at me kinda strangely, and with a nod, understanding his concern, I answered him.

"Mr. Brotch, I know what I am. I'm probably the only Pony besides my mom in this vault, so I'll probably be the last. I should feel lonely, but I feel more... one of a kind." I put on a smile, but on the inside, I feel sad. I've been feeling this for a while, but it goes the same way. Put on the smile, tell em you're strong, maybe eventually YOU'LL believe it, Snake...

"Snake, I'll go talk to the Overseer about this. Given your history in the vault and with the Macks, I'm sure he'll at the very least, consider it." He gave a big grin, apparently refreshed at my display of "self-confidence" and left the classroom. While he left, he told me to spread the good news to Miss Armstrong, and upon mention of that, my heart soared. I was growing more withdrawn from her ever since her motherly affection turned more and more into what I can only describe as an unnerving obsession. She took to brushing my mane and patting my snout like some kind of pet, but well into my teenage years. The unnerving part is when she starts asking if I need a bath, to which I usually restrain myself to tell her I'm capable enough to shower on my own. She was REALLY starting to creep me out.

Of course, that was then. Now, she creeps me out to a very large extent. What is wrong with some people? To make a long and painful story short, after I told her I planned on moving out after getting at least one job, maybe 3 if I was lucky, she stopped dead in her tracks for a few minutes, then immediately switched to a more defensive temperament. She normally sounds so kind and gentle to anyone who speaks to her, but she became so unreasonable in those last minutes. Considering I've already made it clear how much I want her to stop treating me like some kind of pet, she's completely indignant at the idea that I don't belong to her. I don't remember much of what she said, probably because I don't want to, but upon leaving, I opened the door, only to be pulled back by my angry foster mother.

"You aren't going ANYWHERE! You are staying here with ME!" She gripped into my shoulders so tightly that it almost hurt. I was taken off my hooves for a moment, but i fought back and stood up, pulling away from her grasp.

"No, I'm not. I'm not your pet. I know how Humans treated Ponies and horses in the past, but I'm not an animal. I walk on 2 legs, I think and talk. I'm NOT an animal!" I was suddenly unaware of the anger in my voice. I wasn't being unreasonable like her, I was only asking to be treated like a fellow... person? No, I was a BEING though. That mattered, didn't it?

"Oh, this is what I get for bringing you up. This is the thanks I get for holding you close, and petting you, and brushing your coat... you ungrateful little thing!" She spat angrily, but I could see what looked like genuine sadness. Did she actually believe I was some kind of animal? This is too stupid for me.

"Listen to me, Beatrice. I am Snakebit. I am a Pony, but I am NOT an animal. I am my own person, and I don't appreciate the way you treat me, so I'm leaving. I'm leaving with or without your blessing. and I-WOAH!" Miss Armstrong grabbed me, with a mad look in her eyes. She was crazed, and wouldn't stop ranting. I REALLY didn't want to lay a hoof on this woman, as much as she was beginning to become an actual threat. Luckily, I didn't have to. SMACK! I felt a person forcibly separate us and push Miss Armstrong back. It was Miss DeLoria. Apparently she heard what was going on.

"Don't you lay a hand on him! leave that colt alone, or I swear to god, I'll kill you myself" She pushes her way in front of me and pulls out a bottle of vodka, and before I could figure out what she was gonna do, she smashed the bottle and held up the sharpened fragments towards Miss Armstrong, who backed away, fearing the angry vault drunk. I took a few steps back, taking the offer from Miss Ellen, and I looked behind to see Butch, Mr. Brotch and Mr. Mack behind me. Great, now everyone knew how creepy my foster mother was.

I walked into the hallway, into the crowd of people, and talked to Mr. Mack. "Sir, can I PLEASE request an exchange of rooms? "

"I'm not sure where to, but ya definitely shouldn't be staying here. Do you have ANY other place you can stay?" Mr. Mack seemed like he wanted to help, but Vault 101 was a small vault. We have rationed amenities, not many new people, and only enough space for each family. I had to think on this, so I left the room, taking nothing but my leather jacket, my toolkit, 2 bottles of Nuka-Cola, and my comic books.

I told Mr. Mack, "Gimme some time to think about it... I need to go chill somewhere.", and I headed for the diner. I sat down at my usual table and just drank an entire bottle of Cola, and opened the continuation of Doom Mongous's story that Wally gave me. I remembered from my tenth birthday how happy I was to finally read this, it seemed so far away. When I could just hang out with my friends and relax, when no one was trying to keep me anywhere against my will. Then, I just start thinking, what if I'm stuck here FOREVER? Stuck in these cold, grey, steel walls, with the same people. I like them, but there has to be more than just them, and people like Miss Armstrong? there must be more than HER outside. maybe if I could go outside... no. If she could go outside. Yeah, there's an idea.

"Hey, Snake!? What the hell happened, man!?" I rose instantly at the voice. I turned around, and Butch was there at the Diner's front door. He had Wally and Paul with him and it seemed like they showed up to talk about what had happened. Wally was carrying something like a patch that looked like a snake, and Paul was absolutely horrified at what he heard had happened. I turned to my friends and told them all about it, how she was getting way too close for comfort, how I tried to leave home once I applied for several jobs, and how she only seemed to want to keep me as a pet.

"Man, that is screwed up, even for her.", Wally interjected. "I knew this was gonna happen. I saw the files in my dad's office, ya know, "absent-minded, sexually repressed sycophant" sound familiar? Not only that, Ma always said she was a gossip hound, but she's the reason everyone knows Miss DeLoria is a drunk. No offense, Butch."

"Man, that is fucked up." Butch replied. "Sexually repressed? She didn't do nuthin' weird, did she?" It never failed to amaze me that Butch somehow picked up a Brooklyn accent despite his life as a vault dweller. probably because of all the greaser culture he immersed himself in. I can't say I blame him, since it's something he shared with me and the guys. I answered honestly.

"No, she didn't... but I would hate to think of the what-ifs... ugh." I began to feel sick imagining the result. "I think she just thought I was some kind of animal, like a non-sentient Pony. The kind you guys had before the explosions." I lamented, wondering if anyone else thought the same thing. Do humans see Ponies as property?

I see Wally throw the patch down at the table, right in front of me, and he says, "Look man, I don't give two shits what others say you are, even if you're a feeb, you're OUR feeb. That snake is proof of that." I looked down at the patch and realized why he was holding it. It's for a jacket. a leather jacket meant to bear a symbol...

"No fuckin' way... You guys made the jackets!?" I leapt from my seat only to see them turn around, patches sewn onto their jackets. "You guys chose a name? MY name!?"

"Well, yes and no. We're the Tunnel Snakes, and we RULE!" Paul answered.

"You're damn right we do!" I picked up the patch, and jumped up, walking between them, with Butch looking towards me.

"Here's the deal, Snake. My mom's not doin' so well lately, so I want you to help out with all that money from the extra jobs I heard you talk to Mr. Brotch about, and in return, I told her You could stay over until you can leave, alright?", he says to me.

"Abso-tively, bro." I reach out and shake his hand, as if to signify that we have a deal.

"Now, gimme that jacket and lemme sew this baby on. As of today, YOU, are a Tunnel Snake!" He held out his fist for me to punch my hoof against, which is something that human guys seem to do. I returned it, and removed my jacket soon after. Butch left to sew the patch onto my jacket, and Wally stepped up again.

"Hey, I vouched for you, ok? Don't make me look bad, alright?" He started to narrow his eyes, as if sizing me up. "I don't wanna regret this, so don't be square." WOW... That was a surprise in itself. Wally Mack, vouch for ME? I didn't know what he was worried about, all four of us have immersed ourselves in greaser culture since we wanted to form this gang, so I was all in myself as well.

"Hell no, Wally, I'm definitely in. All I need now is the haircut." I ran my hands through my hair... long, a dull light brown, and a bit ratty from my habit of leaving it alone. "Hey, didn't Butch pass the G.O.A.T. as a hairdresser?"

Paul butted in, "Hey shhh! He hates that. Call him a BARBER. It makes him happy, ya know?"

"Oh right, sure thing." I smiled and gave a thumbs-up. "I'll go ask if he can give me a cut fit for a Tunnel Snake." I walked out the diner's front door, remembering I needed to talk to Mr. Mack and tell him the good news. I had a new home, thank goodness. I ran towards the Overseer's office to see Mr. Brotch talking to him, so I headed up, but I was stopped by a familiar face... Stevie. "Oh crap, not now..." I thought.

"Pony-boy, what's up?", he starts. "You in a hurry?"

"Stevie, not now. I'm supposed to talk to your dad, so I need to get through." I add, expecting some backlash from the new officer. To my surprise, he straightens himself up, moved the visor on his helmet up, and says this...

"Hey wait. Snake, I wanted to say, you're a good kid. er... colt. I was a rotten bastard when I was younger, and I know I made you pretty uncomfortable, and now THIS happens to you. I wanted to say... I'm sorry." Wow, Stevie Mack being sincere. This family was chock full of surprises!

I decide to take the bait and be polite. "Stevie, try not to worry about it too much. I don't have time for petty kid's stuff. You're an officer of the vault now. You must have done a LOT of maturing for them to select you in the first place, I assume."

Stevie seemed taken-aback. He smiled, and looked away for a second, then looked back. "Thanks, man. I knew you would understand. I'm just glad you realize, some people just... they have a hard time expressing themselves, and kids can be downright mean sometimes. I see it now and I just think to myself, thank goodness I'm grown. I must have been a little shit." He added with a laugh.

"Well, not too bad. Wally was difficult too, and Butch was even more so. Goodness, all the times we got in fights, or he shoved me for sayin' the wrong thing, but I think he changed after that one night. The one with the roach downstairs."

His eyes almost bugged out of his head at this part. "Roach? That dead one that was stabbed like fourteen times? That was YOU kids?" I answered yes, and he continued to stare, astonished. "I'll... ignore the weapon use and... I'll just say, I'm impressed. Most of the officers here aren't used to radroaches at all, most of what we have to do to fix a problem is raise an eyebrow, or at most our voices. Meanwhile, here you are, a child taking on a fully grown radroach."

I tried to hurry the conversation up as politely as I could. "Stevie, I really need to talk to Mr. Mack, but lemme catch up with you later, ok? Maybe this is goin' somewhere, like... We're friends now, yeah?"

"Sure thing, Snake." and he shook my hoof in agreement. "Our families have always been close, whether we liked it or not...", and he looked away for a moment before finishing with, "...but I like you, Snake. Genuinely."

I waved goodbye and headed up the stairs, finally reaching Mr. Mack's office, and after Mr. Brotch passed me on the stairs, I think I saw him put up his hands in an "Okay" gesture. THAT was a good sign. Either way, I opened the door and stepped inside. There was Mr. Mack, sitting at his desk, and beckoning me inside.

"Snake, you doin' ok, kiddo?" He started with a smile. "I heard what happened, no one should be goin' around treating another person like that, but it had to happen to YOU, of all er..." He seemed unsure of what to say, but eventually sighed and said "... you of all PEOPLE." A feeling of, what felt like warmth filled me instantly. He called me a fellow person. He didn't just look down on me like Miss Armstrong. I felt eager to answer. He and the Macks felt like a real family. I HAD to let him know how much it meant to me.

"Mr. Mack, I don't care about that anymore. I have a place to go, and I won't have to deal with HER again, if I'm lucky. Oh, and Mr. Brotch told me he'd ask you abo-" I was cut off by Mr. Mack's answer.

"Yes, I'm well aware, but are you sure you want to take on THREE jobs for the vault? I know how hard of a worker you are, but will this be too much for you?" He seemed to be concerned, but even more so, curious.

"Not at all. I would be happy to help out the vault in every way possible. You guys have been like a family to me, and I would love to do as much as I can." This seemed to light up his eyes, like he'd achieved something.

"Great! Thank you, Snake. You have no idea how quickly the... here, let me show you." He led me to the Overseer's terminal, and clicked a few keys. Immediately I saw a medical file keeping record of all of the vaults citizens' births. Sure enough, the birth rate had steeply declined since the vault opened and closed it's door about two-hundred years ago. There was plenty of reason to be concerned.

"I understand, Mr. Mack. That's why I want to help. I can work those extra jobs, and I'll enjoy at least two of em, and I get to bunk with a friend and his mother. Despite what some people would say, I like Miss Ellen. She always treated me well." I began to think about that other woman again, and my face turned a bit sour.

"Hey hey, kid, relax. You're right. Everything will be fine. If ya want, you'll start your first day of work tomorrow. Get up early and fix that jukebox in the diner. That thing hasn't run properly since the Palmer boy passed away. I'll even throw in a ration coupon good for a six-pack for that gang you and Wally joined up with." I widened my eyes, and he gave me a smirk and started chuckling. "Hehehe, don't worry, kid. I messed around with my friends like that when I was your age too. We all liked to pretend we were tough guys. Called ourselves the Hell's Overseers." He gave a hearty laugh, like he was enjoying the time we spent talking. I was more than happy to keep it going, but I had to move my stuff in to the DeLoria's place and talk to Stevie. I had a full day planned already.

"Mr. Mack, thanks for everything. You're a great da-um..." Oh FUCK... I had stepped in it.

'What? Ugh, look Snake, it's fine, so long as you know we ain't really related." and there went that warm fuzzy feeling... "Hey, don't get bent out of shape about it, alright? You're a vault dweller, like us. As far as I'm concerned, you're as good as family." I had not felt that happy in a while, but for some reason, as I left the Overseer's office, I had a sinking feeling. If I was finally getting to prove my worth to the people I've always seen as family, and moving from the shelter of a domineering foster mom... Why did I feel like something was wrong?

Select 2 Traits: ... 2 Traits Selected.

"Tunnel Snakes Rule" +5 to DR and -1 to Perception while all companions are wearing the same armor.

"Stay Gold, Pony-Boy..." When finding caps, gambling, or bartering items, Luck is treated as 7. -2 to charisma when caps fall below 2000.

Chapter 3: A Brave New World

Chapter 3: A Brave New World

"I tell ya, ya never know who your real friends are until both your backs are at the wall."

Well, here we are at the present time, and I could not ask for a better life. I have two jobs I love doin, a fry cook and a jukebox technician, though as time passed, I pretty much became a full-on mechanic. I'm reminded of Grandpa for a moment. Poor Grandpa Stanley, he was mortified by the incident, and we hadn't talked so much since then. He was the one who taught me how to use my tools, and here I was, becoming a right expert with them. Either way, I love my jobs, cause no matter which one I'm doin, I'm always covered in grease. I tell that one all the time, and I usually get a laugh. Mr. Mack has been less than enthused lately though. I wonder if something is wrong. I'll ask him a soon as I can.

I head down the hall to the atrium before I get to the stairs, but I see something a bit surprising. Almost everyone in the vault is collected in the atrium, and Mr. Mack is standing on the upper balcony, like he's about to make a decision. After everyone gathers, I wait and listen to what he has to say.

"People of Vault 101... I have an important announcement to make. As of today, we are running DANGEROUSLY low on supplies." Immediately, everyone in the vault is panicking. I can't imagine what we're supposed to do without food or common everyday supplies. I listened to what he had left to say. "Food, Amenities and medicine are running out, and as we must remain inside the vault at all times, I have no choice but to try something different. I will open the door, but ONLY to send out a small scout party into the wasteland, in order to find food and supplies. I can think of no one better than our resident thugs, the Tunnel Snakes."

"WHAT!? That's BULLSHIT!" I know that voice. Dammit, Butch is gonna say something stupid again. I hold him back from the stairs and whisper to him.

"Butch, wait, stop! Shhh, listen, if he lets us out into the wasteland, we can see what's going on out there." This seems to get his attention, since he stops what he's doing and stands still to listen to the rest of the announcement.

Mr. Mack continues the announcement to say, "For security reasons, I'm issuing each scout an N99 10mm pistol and a security baton, although I'm sure the Snakes have their own weapons as well...", He added with a smirk. "For survival purposes, they shall also be issued a medical kit, with 2 stimpaks, a doctor's bag, and several chems we could issue. Also, take plenty of water, boys. Now go out there and bring back whatever you can find, make me proud, boys." With this, he turns and strolls back into his office as if nothing is wrong, and he didn't just say we were going to die. This is crazy, What does he expect us to do? Well, everyone else is going nuts, so maybe WE have to pony up to the plate... so to speak.

I head over to the armory, where I see Stevie again, and he hands me a pistol and baton. I go to grab the needed provisions, and he looks at me earnestly saying "Hey kid, you've been doin' great since we picked you up, and I want ya to know, we're really counting on you now. If you come back from this, you'll be HEROES."

"I... dunno what to say, Steve. I'm kinda at a loss. Maybe if I come back successful, I'll be able to process this properly." I laugh a little bit, with him joining in. I see the other Tunnel Snakes walk in and gather up the needed supplies. I also see Stevie give a hug to Wally, much to his chagrin, afterwards slipping a note into his hands. As the years pass, Wally's gotten kind of shitty to the people who really care about him. He could NEVER see Butch as a leader, though I do, being his best friend. Beyond that, he seems to look down on our newest member, Freddie. The kid suffers from Vault Depressive Syndrome, so you would think he could show at least a LITTLE sympathy, but no. I feel like he doesn't understand that brains aren't everything. If you want to be a leader, you need to think of EVERYONE. I step towards em, here we are, all 5 of us, and ready to go out into the wild wasteland and find fresh provisions for the vault. I am SO ready for this, but I should see what they think. "Hey guys, you all ready to go out and kick some ass for Vault 101?" I give a wide grin and put a hoof up to mimic a man shaking his fist triumphantly.

"Hell yeah, guys!" Freddie is the first to answer. Thank goodness he's in such a good mood, I was starting to worry about him. normally he has trouble even with something as simple as getting out of bed. Yeah, his depression can hit him pretty hard sometimes.

"You betcha ass we are!" Butch and Paul reply with as much enthusiasm as I expected, or didn't expect due to Butch's reaction earlier. Maybe he really DID want to see the outside world. I don't blame him, I was much more than curious.

"Shut up, Pony-boy. Let's get this over with." Wally, I can never fully understand this guy. Ah well, time to go. First off though, how do I use this pistol with hooves? I try to hold it with both hands, but I keep fumbling. Stevie, still nearby, decides to help, but it doesn't go so well. I try putting it between my hooves, but I can't pull the trigger. I try levitating it against my hoof like Butch's switchblade, but my other hoof is too big to pull the trigger. I even try something kind of silly, I put it in my mouth and pull the trigger with my tongue. BANG! I blow a hole right through one of the ammo lockers.

"Holy Shit!" I open my mouth, dropping the gun. "Did you see that? I really CAN use a gun. Beat that, Wally!" I smile wide and proudly at my display.

"Congrats kid, ya shot an unarmed ammo locker." As usual, something shitty to say.

Stevie chimes in, clearly impressed, "I dunno, did you see how many guns were in that locker? He was clearly heavily armed." He starts chuckling, with a few of the guys joining in. Wally still looks so miserable. At this point, if that guy has something on his mind that makes him like this, I don't wanna know what it is.

i put the gun back in my mouth and lift the switchblade with a hoof. I try to look as cool as possible, and the rest of the Snakes seem to go for it. Stevie wishes us good luck, and outside we go, headed for the vault door. On our way, everyone is cheering, wishing us luck, and for a split second, I see Miss Ellen, Mr. Mack, and even Grandpa Stanley wave at me. Thank goodness he's doing alright. We head to the door's control panel, and the weight of our scouting mission finally hits us. We have to go out into a wasteland no one has ever seen before, facing something none of us had ever seen, and DEFINITELY more dangerous than any radroach, and HOPE there's food, water, or medical supplies out there. Not only that, but find it and bring it back alive. Maybe we ARE screwed... I look back at the guys and they all seem to feel it too. I always treat Butch like our leader, but I know how discouraged he can get. I have to say something.

"Alright badasses, you ready to go out there and prove who REALLY owns this vault?" They don't seem to buy it at first, but eventually, they start to mumble among themselves. First one to change his tune of course, is Butch. He steps forward and asks...

"Hey, who the hell said YOU were the leader, huh?" He slugs my shoulder and starts laughing "Aight, pussies! Who's gonna get out there and show that wasteland who's boss!? Either you get out now, or I KICK you outside!" We all stand at attention, and start moving towards the door, but first we need the password. Wally pulls the piece of paper out of his pocket and reads it off.

"HeartofGold. The hell is that?" Wally reads and then questions. It hits me. I dunno what, but for some reason, I feel ill. Sheesh, I haven't even made it outside. I answer him.

"Wally, it must be the password. Put it in." He does, and the door lock mechanism springs into action. With a sudden alarm sounding throughout the vault, a light flashing around us, and a loud WHIRRRR! and CLANK! the door opens, slowly rolling aside. Again, I'm struck with a massive feeling of familiarity. WHY does this all seem like... what do they call it? Deja vu. Like I knew this was gonna happen. Whatever, time to move on. We all saw the vault open into a massive opening of stone we could only assume was a cave, and on the far end was a wooden door. We all headed towards the door and pushed it open.

Immediately, a great flash of light comes over us, and we're stunned. We figure it was just bright outside, but I have a gut feeling that we'll learn the hard way that years of growing in an underground vault does not prepare you for a burnt out, broken, and bright skied wasteland, left over from a war several centuries ago, and even more generations spent living like nothing happened.

I look around, amazed by what I see. Skeletons of old buildings and houses, and a street covered with old husks of once driven things the Humans call "cars" are strewn about. Imagine it as a carriage that eats a flammable juice in order to pull itself. I look around further and see several ugh... Human skeletons. The people fighting this war did horrible things to our home. So, that gives me a question to answer. Why did we get stuck with the leftovers? This hurts me the more I look around, so I turn to Butch and say this.

"Hey, what's say we get this over with? I'm beginning to like this place less and less."

"Okay, guys, let's split up and look for supplies. Our Pip-Boys have the automap, so don't worry about losing your way. and if worse comes to worse, there's always the tracking device. Wally you go with Paul and Freddie, I'll take Snake. you go south, we'll go north." and we split up, the four of us. As I walk northwards with Butch, we talk a little bit, all the while keeping on our guard for anything that may be out there.

"Hey Butch, why's this place look like shit? Didn't anyone think to clean, or ya know, rebuild society?", I ask.

"I dunno Snake, but they really let this place go. skeletons, broken shit, what were they thinkin'? What'd they THINK was gonna happen if they dropped a friggin' bomb on everyone?"

"Whatcha think they were fightin' about anyway? Resources? that flammable shit that powers cars?

"I don't know, but either way, everyone fucked up big time. Maybe we should just hurry up and find some food. If this is the wasteland, I would pick the vault... at least, I think so."

"Ya think so? What's the doubt?"

"Well, if I stick around the vault, I could be stuck with the same people, the same food, the same job, forever. It sounds so boring. Even if it's safe, why would ya do the same thing over and over if nothing new ever happens?"

"I think I get what you mean. As much as I love my jobs, things get really quiet, and I feel like there's a whole world out there we're missing. Hey Butch, if worse comes to worse, what's say we just go around and make this place our own?"

"Hell yeah, dude. The Tunnel Snakes rule anywhere they go, remember that." Butch's confidence is starting to rub off on me. Whatever could happen out here, I am definitely ready for it.

It isn't too long of a walk until we come across something. It looks like a truck, except it's hollowed out and pulled by a large, two-headed cow. Well, I thought it would be the strangest thing we'll see today. We see a few men, very scary-looking, and dirty as all Hell, wearing what looks like potato sacks with spiked tire halves or leather pads. They were some savage guys, loaded with guns and chems. How would they have chems? Obviously that meant one thing, there are supplies around this wasteland. As much as I get the heebie jeebies just looking at them, perhaps they could help.

That was the worst idea I've ever had... As we walk down toward the caravan, we notice that the back of the truck is holding a huge covered cage, which immediately begins to cry for help. Upon seeing me, the men charge towards me and attempt to grab me, to which I grab the switchblade with my hoof. I fumble with it a bit, but I manage to hold it out, ready to stab the man in front if need be. Unfortunately, while this one raider is toting a sledgehammer at the moment, the other one is carrying some kind of rifle, and pointing it right at my head. Bolt-action, like a gun Stevie found in the armory a while back. I heard them mumbling something, when I see Butch hold his pistol at the rifleman's head. The rifleman immediately turns to him and starts talking.

"Alright, punk kid, listen up! We want that horse you've got with ya. He'll fetch a nice price." Here we go again, another human who treats me like property. Well, while he's not paying attention, I drop my hooves behind my back and try to make a signal to Butch. He's slow to catch on, but he must have understood, as he opens fire on the raider with the sledge as soon as the rifleman starts to speak again. I have no idea how Butch can fire a gun so well, but 2 bullets tear through the air and right into the melee combatant's head, shattering his entire skull. While I'm trying to avoid getting brain matter on my Tunnel Snakes jacket, I'm already using the distraction to duck under the rifleman's barrel. The raider was so startled at the interruption that he fired blindly, completely missing my head. I knew bolt-actions only fire one shot at a time, what an idiot. I pulled out the blade, and took a swing, right into his firing hand. I knew I should have tried to take him down, but I figured maybe if I scared him, he'd save us the trouble.

Butch holds the gun steady as I loom over the raider. As I open my mouth to warn him what will happen if he tries anything, he lifted his good hand to his mouth and whistled loudly. PHWWWWWWWWT! Immediately, we see 3 more men and a woman, all dirty and bloodied, all carrying guns, and running towards us angrily. This is NOT good. I turn to Butch and yell for him to get behind the truck and start shooting, as I grab for my pistol and fit it into my mouth, I smack the raider in the head to put him out. I may regret this, but this is more important. Butch aims and takes a breath, and I suddenly realize how he was so accurate with his shots. He's using V.A.T.S., the Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System that came with every Pip-Boy! I realize that even if my Pip-Boy has another name, It might still have that same functionality, and considering I can only shoot a gun with my mouth, that would be VERY helpful.

I turn my arm around and quickly search for the button that would activate V.A.T.S., but I don't find it. I do however, find a button spelling S.A.T.S. What the hell was S.A.T.S.? Well, time to find out. Immediately, everything slows down and the raiders charging as us, guns at the ready, are frozen in place like sculptures. I can focus, and so long as the percentages on my Pip-Buck say I can hit an enemy, I can do it. Shit, I never checked my stats, but I notice my Luck and Perception... a two and a seven. High numbers, low critical chance. Fine, I better make sure every shot counts. If I target the nearest one's head, that would prevent him from shooting, but all he had was a small revolving pistol. If these guys are on whacked out on chems, they're gonna miss a LOT. There we go, the big guy has a double-barreled shotgun. I have a better aim at his arm, so I'll shoot him there. Next, I'll take out the crazy guy charging at us with a... looks like a sword. I'll shoot his head, since if he does make it over here, He's got a fucking sword, and I do not want him to properly aim. and then the sniper on the hill. I can't hit his head with a pistol, so what can I do? I set the target for his rifle. If I can gamble on it, I'll knock it out of his hands. If not... I'll pick up this hunting rifle the dead guy dropped... Eww, I just realized how horrible that sounds. Well, desperate times and all that. Boy am I glad that S.A.T.S. freezes time. Time to stop dicking around.

I fire away, and hit... well, to tell the truth, I'm lucky Butch was aiming for the head on all his targets. While I hit the shotgunner's hand, and he drops his gun, I miss the swordsman's head and fail to destroy the hunter's rifle. Butch, however, puts a bullet in the swordsman's head, and he practically launched the hunter's head from his shoulders... SHEESH. It was like one of those scenes from a Grognak comic. Or... Doom Mongous? Of course, I'm just in the wrong mindset! I need to focus on the fight. If S.A.T.S. won't help, I'll do it myself. Just like the roaches. I pick up the switchblade and charge at the gunslinger, and he looses a shot at me, luckily missing. I'm taking a huge risk, but I lodge the blade into his neck, watching him... choke and bleed to death. Oh, that's new. I start to feel a bit sick, but I reach down and take his revolver. I aim for the raider at my feet. He looks up at me, slowly waking up, as if realizing I'm going to end his journey right there, so to speak. as he pleads with me, I notice a gunshot behind me. I assume Butch finished off the shotgunner and tell the raider "I was gonna let ya go, but you had to do something stupid. If I kill you, you won't learn ANYTHING. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed." I see something that makes me wretch. He looks at something that would appear to be behind me, and smiles. It's a gross smile. His teeth weren't treated very well, and his gums look more than a little rotten.

"Alright. Now hand over all your shit and strip down. I'll put these collars on nice and easy... You guys'll fetch a great price at Paradise Fa-ACK!" Whoever is holding Butch hostage is cut off by a switchblade, thrown into his throat. As he coughs up his blood, I step towards him and Butch stumbles away, catching his breath, having escaped a vicious chokehold.

"NEVER call me property, you filthy ape." I command with an unknown anger in my voice, and I swing down onto his head with my right hoof, hearing something give way with an audible CRACK! as the bastard falls to the ground.

"What did you do!? You killed Boss Nitro! Thanks a LOT, man!" I hear the voice from behind me, reach down and pull the switchblade from the raider's neck and point it at the little guy.

"Care to make some sense, RIGHT NOW?" I point the blade at him. Butch watches in shock, thinking I've finally gone off the deep end, no doubt, but I'm listening. I'm not the unreasonable one here, after all.

"I-I'll explain, man, don't worry. Just uh... Can I get up, hold my hammer and uh, not be killed? also uh, ya might wanna free those slaves in the cages." He points to the several vibrating and crying, sheet-covered boxes in the back of the truck.

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Covered In Grease"

Each rank of this perk adds +5 to your Repair and +5 to your Survival skill.

Chapter 4: Dick In A Box

Chapter 4: Dick In A Box

"Hey, sometimes we make mistakes. We can't always decide how we're gonna react."

We work to remove the captives from their cages, when I see something that makes me stop dead in my tracks. One of the captives is a tall and very strong looking woman who I assume was a raider at some point, given her appearance, but the second is... a PONY. There is no denying it. She looks JUST like me. Her eyes are huge, and she has a long, shaggy red mane and a freckled face. She even has WINGS of all things, sticking right out of her back. While I want to see if she has a tail like I do, I am not gonna go randomly checking out her ass, at least, I think she's a she. Beyond that, there's another detail I wanna check, but that's even more personal. I'm not gonna ask her to take off her pants, let alone the fact that they're wearing nothing but rags, so I try to remain calm as I reach out a hoof as if to shake hands with her.

"Hey... you're a pony, like me?" Is all I manage to spit out.

"Uh, yeah, I am." she looks a bit shocked herself, but I hope I'm not screwing anything up. I admittedly flip out a bit, sputtering...

"Oh, I'm asking a stupid question, huh? sorry." I probably look stupid, but she smiles a beautiful smile, still looking pretty cute in those rags.

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm just uh, a little surprised to meet another Pony." I was right, she was just as confused as I was. I take a quick glance back at the raider, and he waves, as if waiting for us to finish. He doesn't strike me as a hardcore raider, I'm curious as to what his story is.

"Hey, where are you guys gonna go from here?" I ask the mare.

"Oh, I dunno about her-" She gets cut off by the woman shouting what sounds like "River's Shitty" and running off. I dunno what that was about, but I'm asking the mare anyway. I turn to her and she begins again, "Why's the river shitty? Anyway, like I was saying, I want to go home. um... I THINK I can tell you. I have a city I live in further up North and really far to the East, where there's a lot more of us. We tend to group together, which is part of why it's so weird to see you around here. Do you live here?"

I look at Butch and he starts to look at me funny before butting in with, "What, you dunno about us? We're the Tunnel Snakes of Vault 101, and the Tunnel Snakes rule!" I notice her stifle a laugh before she answers him.

"So that means you're from a vault? We heard rumors from the raiders that the humans came out of the Earth from vaults just like our stables. Of course, we never even knew they existed before the Great Light, so maybe they've ALWAYS been here, like MOLE PEOPLE..." she lifts her hooves up and drapes them in front of her body, as if trying to scare someone. VERY funny...

"Great Light?", I respond, "What's that supposed to be?"

"Oh, that was the big ball of light that Celestia said would destroy us all unless we hid underground."

I stand there for a moment, perplexed. "Wait a minute, who on Earth is Celestia?", I ask her.

"Oh, you don't know?", she seems confused, "She was our Princess about 2 centuries ago. Ya know, royal Alicorn, beautiful flowing mane of light? She is the very essence of the sun?" I am drawing a complete blank. I point out that I still have absolutely no idea who she's talking about, and she responds with "Wow... you really don't know. Well, I'll tell you what...", she points to my Pip-Buck, "I'll show you the directions to my town, and if you decide to stop by, I'll tell you ALL about it, okay? I'll also remember to thank you properly." and she gives me that same cute smile. Wow, after what she'd been through, the fact that she seems so impossible to keep down is a little heartwarming.

"Absolutely, uh, mind if I ask you something though? Like... in private?" As soon as I finish this, her eyes light up, and she seems to get a rise out of the request.

"Ooh, you want my reward NOW!? You dirty boy..." Oh geez, that's what she meant by reward? Holy shit... oh no, now she's teasing me.

"No, no... just pony stuff. I have a question, and it's just for us Ponies. Butch, can you watch the wimpy guy while I talk to her?" As I hear an agreement from Butch, I hear a small complaint from the slaver.

I move behind the hill that the raiders attacked us from, the mare behind me, when she speaks again. "My name's Ellie, by the way. Nice to meet you."

Ellie... even her name is cute. Okay, with my luck, SOMETHING has to go wrong about now. "Okay, Ellie. This is gonna sound really weird, but humor me. I need to see your butt."

"Oh dear Celestia, you are nasty! I thought you would at least wait to visit me, but...", She slowly begins to strip, her waistband around her flanks, and a wave of guilt begins to eat at my stomach,"... I suppose you can take me here. We'll rut like a couple of dirty, savage beasts..."

"No, no! I just want to... I want to see if you have a mark. Like mine, see?" Without thinking, I pull down my pants to show her my rear end, on which, my right cheek has a huge picture of a dark green snake with a yellow eye and a fang. "See, I have this picture that... uh, Ellie?" I see her face turn a bright pink, and her jaw hang open as she stares at something... something that ISN'T my tattoo. Oh crap. "Um, Ellie, I am so sorry, I was just trying to-"

"WOW! It's so big... Is THAT a Tunnel Snake?" She exclaims excitedly, eyeing my member as it hangs between my legs.

"Okay, enough. I just wanted to-" I try to explain that I wasn't trying to do anything dirty and zip my pants back up when she butts in.

"Hey wait! I can tell you about that mark, but please... can I look a bit longer?" She gives a guilty smile and looks away from my eyes, adding, "I also have something to show you, okay?" I agree and she begins to explain exactly how I got that mark. When a Pony, Unicorn, or Pegasus discovers a talent or trait that makes them special, they get something like a brand called a "Cutie Mark". I couldn't think of anything I did to receive it, but it DID appear after that time Butch and the guys brought beer to celebrate my initiation into the Tunnel Snakes. We all got drunk, and when i woke up, there was that snake picture right there on my ass cheek. Strangest thing, since I went to the vault tattoo artist, and he told me he didn't remember touching a neon-green horse ass with his tattoo gun... FUNNY...

"So... does that mean being a Tunnel Snake is my destiny?", I ask, "That doesn't sound too special. What if I wanna be a mechanic, or a cook or something... maybe BOTH?"

"Well, maybe it's just cause you're sneaky, or green, or you have those eye-..." I think she notices my reaction, as she finishes with "... um, nevermind, that's probably not it."

"It's no problem", I correct myself, "I just feel a bit weird about em. Sometimes I think they're cool, other times, they creep me out."

"Well, a cutie mark doesn't always define who you are, It just shows you a bit about yourself. If you want, I can show you my cutie mark. Maybe you can see for yourself." and she begins to tug at her pants again. I'm really not in the mood, as we still have a vault to bring supplies to, and we just got finished slaughtering a gang of raiders. Hell, one of them is still here. I decide to humor her, and just take a quick look.

"Ok, but the three of us should really get back ho-WHAT THE F-" I begin, but remember we're supposed to be talking privately, so I quiet my voice and ask, "What the fuck is THAT?"

That sneaky mare lowers her eyelids and adds with a certain husk to her voice "You mean my blank flank, or the other thing?" she starts giggling, of course she starts giggling. I KNEW something was up.

"Perhaps YOU have the makings of a Tunnel Snake?...", I remark, rolling my eyes. "Let alone the fact that you're a guy, AND somehow the most adorable mare I've met..."

"Oh, you are SO sweet." her... HIS face lights up as he smiles and hugs me close, that thing between his legs dangerously close to me. It's a little small, but I'm not taking any risks.

"Enough, enough... hold on.", I push him back and keep talking. "You still haven't answered my question. Why don't you have a cutie mark? and uh... why were you hitting on me? You're a guy.

"Hey, I am NOT a guy. I'm a beautiful young mare. That should be obvious.", he smiles again, and throws his hair back dramatically. How is he so CUTE? This is really fucking weird. "The thing is... I just happen to have a stallion's member. Do you like it?" and he covers his face, blushing heavily.

"I've... never even met another pony before, I have no damn idea, but for fuck's sake, the cutie mark? please?", I insist.

"Fine... well, it's kind of embarrassing. You've been stuck with humans your whole life, think about cutie marks as... puberty. If I were a girl, I would never have gone through puberty. I would always look, well, like an awkward teenager. In our world, I'm basically that one girl in class that never reached that special point in her life." All of this reference to him being a girl is weird as hell, and I would really like to go home, but I can't help wanting to keep talking to this strange stallion. He really knows how it feels to be the odd one out.

"Well, as much as we have to go, whaddya say we catch up later, like you wanted? eh... no sex though." He widens his eyes, visibly disappointed for about a split second, but he puts on a smile and looks me in the eyes. Dammit, those eyes.

"Okay, but I really hope you change your mind." He pulls his pants down one last time and hikes them up quickly. I look away and shake my head as he runs off in the direction he mentioned earlier, giggling all the way. I'm so glad he's entertained. I walk towards Butch, who I notice is talking to the slaver we spared, and I walk towards the both of them.

"Hey Butch, what'd the schmuck have to say?", I ask him, but the scrawny guy snaps at me.

"Hey man, now why are you throwin' around hate-speak like that? That is uncalled for.", this loser has the balls to get pissy with me for not killing him? This should be fun. Before I could say anything, however, Butch intercedes and steps in front of me.

"Hey scumbag, don't think you're outta hot water just yet. Fact is, you and your jerks attacked us, and the only reason you're still standin' is cause you can barely stand at all." I noticed the slaver's eyes start to get a bit teary, and he drops his hammer to the ground, just like that.

"Hey man... It's not like I wanted this. I didn't wanna be a slaver. I used to have a mom and dad, brahmin, a bag of junk to sell and everything, 'fore the slavers came and basically burnt and killed everything." He actually starts crying. Aside from us killing him, what would possibly make a slaver sad?

I had to know, "Hey, if you didn't want to be a slaver, why in the hell are you a slaver?", and for a second, he looks a bit guilty, but before I can wonder why, he gets up, holds out a hand and moves a bit closer.

"Well, first, how about we do some introductions? I'm Dick, nice to meet you guys.", regrettably, me and Butch started laughing like idiots. "Ugh, are you guys serious? It's a NAME. It's short for Richard."

"Well, I'm Snakebit, and this is Butch. Why didn't ya start with Richard?", i try to regain my composure and talk to him for real.

"I dunno, I've been called Dick by the slavers for as long as I remember. I never really liked those assholes. Thing is, I'm only with them for the same reason I'm here..."

I guess why in an instant, "You were spared."

"Yep. I used to live with my mom and dad, learning to be a junk salesman, I was gonna go into town to see if we could sell what we get shipped to us, like my dad did. It was gonna be my first day actually running the shop. Of course, this happened the same time the slavers showed up."

"So what happened, man?", Butch asked.

"I hid in a crate from our latest junk shipment while I heard my home and everything in it being shot up, and God knows what else.", he started shaking a bit. "I hid like a coward, and when they found me huddled up in that thing, I came out swinging with a hammer I found inside the crate. Thing I didn't tell ya is, Boss Nitro used to hang around with these two guys, Hacksaw and Skull. The only reason I got into the team was 'cause I busted 'em up. Skull didn't really live up to his name after my first swing, and Hacksaw was so broken he couldn't lift a gun, much less shoot it. The way they put him out of his misery like they did... It was so fucked up. He was supposed to be his friend!", and he starts panicking.

"Hey hey, Dick, calm down.", I put my hooves on his shoulders and tell him to breathe. That seems to work. "It's ok, You had no idea what was gonna happen, and ya wanna know something you did that was actually pretty damn good?"

"What?" he asked, looking up at me, suddenly looking a lot different from the guy aiming straight for my head with a hunting rifle.

"You lived. You survived, and now you have another chance. If those slavers are gone, maybe you can do something else. Do you know a place you can go from here?", I try to reassure him. Maybe he was in with the wrong crowd, but maybe he means what he's saying. "Dick, when survival is at stake, people do some crazy things, but now that ya don't have t-"

He interrupts me with, "Ya don't have to tell me twice, but, where do I go from here? I got no one to help me, no place to go, I uh... guys, help me out here?", he reaches out to me, and i look over to Butch, and I think of something.

"Well, that one stallion left before I could ask him where I could find some supplies, and to tell the truth, he trusted me enough with the location of his town, so I don't think openly telling his entire town that we're out here looking for food and supplies for an entire vault would be a good idea unless we wanna get thrown out on our asses, or locked away in a padded cell, so...", Dick raised his head, as if anticipating my idea. "I was thinking if you saw any places that might be a good idea to look for supplies, we could go with you, see that you aren't full of shit, and even put a good word in for you when we go back home?"

"Absolutely! I would love that! Um... first I gotta stop by this place though. It ain't good for supplies, but it's a certain spot I like to stop by every once in a while. My uh, friend is there. He's not like them though, he's a nice guy. Kinda why I always snuck off to see him.", the whole deal sounds fishy, but I am a bit curious. If he's telling the truth, we would be walking away with two allies and a good idea of where to find supplies.

I couldn't help but wonder how Wally, Freddie and Paul were holding up, One thing for sure, this wasn't the kind of day we were expecting. I look around at all of the slavers we just wiped out, and the armor and weapons they were carrying. I go with Butch to rummage through the remnants of the fight, bringing back several guns, I hash it out to one hunting rifle apiece, I keep the double-barrel, and I let Dick keep his sledge until we can trust him with a firearm. Butch thinks I'm crazy, letting him keep that thing, but I see something in him. I don't know what, but it makes me feel like he's not as bad as one would think.

The slavers didn't have any food, but they were carrying chems for some reason. I found a syringe, a tin of tablets, and some bottle of huge pills. The syringe is something called "Psycho", the tin is "Mentats", but the bottle has me confused. We have a medicine called "Buffout", but the bottle here was something called "Buck". What in the hell is this? I turn to Dick and he examines the bottle, before stating, "Oh, that was for the pony. Humans and Ponies have different medicines due to different physiology. As far as I've heard, it would be extremely dangerous for humans to take medicine designed for horses, so of course the slavers were doing it for fun.", he rolls his eyes and laughs, "Ya know, I hate to say it, but they were a bunch of crazy idiots. I'm kinda glad they're gone. Izzat bad?"

"Well, I don't think so. Butch, what do you think?", I turn to him, apparently pulling what looks like a bottle of whiskey out of a dirty, bloodied pocket.

"Huh? What do I think of what?", he answers, taking a swig.

For some reason, I'm brimming with confidence as I say this, like I'm ready to really convince him of something. "Dick is glad that the loser assholes who killed his family, made him stick around their stupid gang under fear of death, sold ponies and Humans into slavery, and tried to kill us are dead, but is that a BAD thing?"

The first to laugh is Dick, clearly I succeeded in convincing him. The next to laugh is me, happy in my success. Finally, Butch decides to join in. Maybe this will work out better than I expected.

"Okay guys, time to hit the road. Dick, where's this place you mentioned?", and he walks beside me, takes a while to look over the map, and points to a specific spot on the map. It's only a bit north-west of here, and we should be able to find somewhere with food around there, if not here. "Alright, then let's get moving.", as soon as I finish this sentence, Butch walks to my side and asks me a quick question.

"Hey man, earlier you said "that one stallion", yeah? ain't a stallion a guy?", I really didn't feel like answering that question, but I did.

"Yeah, he was actually a dude."

"No fuckin' way! He had a foot-long the whole time? Man, maybe we shoulda asked HIM to join the tunnel snakes, huh?", and he gave an uproarious laugh. I give a smaller one. That schmuck always finds some way to make me laugh at myself.

Despite the obvious jokes at my expense, I was thinking only of getting that food for the vault, making sure our new companion was as good as his word, and more importantly, seeing if Ellie made it home safely. I dunno what it is, but I like him. I'm pretty sure it isn't anything like that, but it would be amazing to finally have a friend who's a pony. I could not wait to get started tomorrow, once we find this "special spot", that is.

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Depending on the Time of Day..."

Due to a high Charisma, but a lack of experience in the field of potential mates, you gain an enhanced empathy with "both sides", gaining access to special dialogue options with both males and females.

Chapter 5: Dogs Are Barkin'

Chapter 5: Dogs Are Barkin'

"Always better to travel with a friend, even if he ain't a human. You can agree with that, eh Snake?"

We had been traveling for a bit, and we just came to a depression, part of which is blocked by a massive chain link fence. We would have to detour down the railway we were walking on, but past the fence, I see what he was talking about. There's a big junkyard, lots of car husks, broken down buses, stacks of discarded tires and hubcaps, even a couple of boxcars, one of which is still suspended by a giant crane. Well, that won't be a constant worry. somewhere between them all, in front of the house, I see a mattress, a campfire made of one of the discarded tires, and a fridge. A fridge, with no electricity? Of all the things I'd seen, that was one of the stranger ones.

"Is this the place, Dick?" I turn to our guide, and he nods in agreement.

"Yep, what's mine is yours, bro. Uh, but it's also mine, so watch yourself." he gives a nervous laugh and starts walking toward the sleeping spot next to fridge, where he unrolls the sleeping bag and promptly gives a whistle... PHWWWWT! that little shit! I reach for my switchblade and Butch pulls out his pistol. However, Dick looks back at us and starts grimacing. "Hey, hey, wait a second! I'm just callin' him out." We have no idea who he's talking about, but we wait a few seconds, and a big dog suddenly bolts towards Dick, jumping onto him and licking his face. Wow, I had no idea a dog could survive this mess.

"Izzat a DOG? How did you find one of those!?", Butch was apparently thinking the same thing as me.

"I dunno, He's just been here since I found the place. He hasn't tried to jump at me or anything. Most dogs around here'd rip your damn throat out, but this guy ain't so bad.", Dick responded.

I walk up to the dog, bend over and start running my hoof behind his ears, in my best attempt to scratch, but he seems to like it well enough. He's a cute little fella, probably a German Shepherd by the look of him. I'm surprised he looks so normal compared to the rest of this dump. I look around the rest of the place and i see a small office building, presumably belonging to the previous owners of the junkyard, and i begin to wonder. Turning to Dick, I ask him a question.

"Hey, why don't you sleep in the office there?"

"Yeah, never occurred to me... Not at all.", he laughed nervously, and i figured he was being a smartass. Well, I try the door and sure enough, I see what he means. It's locked. I think... nah, I was better at fixing things than breaking into shit. I look over at Butch.

"Hey Butch, got a lockpick? or do you even know how to lockpick?", I ask.

"I dunno, do you?"

"No. At least, nothing like this. It's well-kept, but i figured if it's stayed locked this whole time, maybe we could sleep inside it, OR there's something inside?", I raise an eyebrow at Butch and he understands. I think he's glad he kept me around. Wally would probably just constantly shit-talk him, and Paul or Freddie would do whatever they were told... Not a good idea when you yourself don't know what you're doing.

Butch walks past me and readies a foot, "Well, there's always THIS way." and without warning, he kicks the door in as if he's stomping a bug. The fact that he can be this tough so long as there are absolutely no radroaches around still astounds me. Either way, the door itself folds under the weight of his kick and caves, the sides splintering to useless chunks of firewood. Well, there's another idea. I gather the pieces of wood and place them around the campfire as Dick pulls some packaged food out of the fridge. He grabs the wood from me, and I turn back to Butch, where he's grinning like a fool at his "triumph", and I grin just as widely as he is and say...

"Thank you, Butchie...", I try to be as obnoxious as possible, just to mess with him a little bit.

"Fuckin' smart-ass.", I laugh to myself as I see him roll his eyes, but I'm happy since he's still smiling. I catch up to him as we both approach the inside of the office building. Dick is curious, as I see him stir in his seat, but as I wave for him to check it out with us, he tells me to go ahead. He probably wants to spend time with his puppy. I follow Butch inside and start searching the place for anything we can bring back. Dick was never in here, so if there's packaged food, he didn't find it. I find a couple of loose paper bills... is this the stuff Humans used for money? huh, maybe I should stow these in case there's a use for em. I search around a bit, finding little things, like pencils, documents, even a coffee pot. I can't find anything interesting, until Butch yells out, "Hey guys! I found food!"

I hightail it to the same room I heard the noise, and I stop at his side... There it is. I've read about these old machines, Eat-O-Tronics, they're kinda like giant fridges for the wall... Even though fridges are already plugged into the wall... Humans make some strange items. Well, we look inside the damn thing, and the Eat-O-Tronic is full of food, alright. Moldy, two-centuries-old food. Ugh, the rotten stench is already leaking out around us, and I yell for Butch to close it. Oh god, please no... there has to be something here, but where? We NEED to bring food back to the vault. The more I think about it, how well was this planned out? Why would they send out 5 teens from the vault to bring back food? Wouldn't we be stocked well enough for a vault meant to house the "Bright Future of America?" Why are we running out of food? Why send us? I need to ask Mr. Mack a few more questions once I get back. Well, there's one more room to check, but I hear Dick calling for us. Apparently, food is ready. Butch looks over at me and I wave for him to go. I still have one more room.

I enter through the office door and see several things. immediately to my left, next to the door, there's a vending machine for Nuka-Cola... Great, except how do I get the Colas out? I think of the money I just found, but then again, I DO know my way around machines... After a bit of fiddling with the lock in front, I pop open the front of the machine and inside I find about 3 Nuka-Cola bottles. Perfect! Afterwards I see a desk with a computer. Oddly enough, it seems to have survived after all this time. I don't know what good a computer is going to do, so I decide to ignore it for now, but I keep looking. I find a small safe under the computer, but again, I lack the ability to lockpick to such an extent. Let me think, how would I open a safe if not by lockpicking. While thinking, my eyes roll over the computer again, and I think about it. There's no way... attach a computer to a lock-and-key style safe? There has to be some kind of trick. I boot up the computer and see a problem, the thing is locked up, and I need to think of a password. These old model computers seem like the ones they have in the vault too, and that's a relief, since they always give you multiple choices. Seems stupid, I think, but it suits me just fine.

I look through the words and think. If I get about three wrong choices, I can log out and try again. I figured that out when me and the guys were kids, we were trying to break into Mr. Mack's computer to do... things that young guys do on computers. You know what I mean, I think. Beginning the process, I try and fail several times, but I keep having to "relog" as I call it. What could it be? Okay, now is the time to start thinking. I look around, and try to think of anything in the junkyard or office that fits one of the words. Hmm... AUTO, COLA, CARS, a few of these might work. I type in CARS... nothing. COLA... also nothing. What else is here? I look at the words I chose. both cola and cars have ONE letter right... I can only see one word in common, but... I cannot imagine that thing has been around this junkyard for two hundred years. I type in the last word... DOGS. The screen lights up, flashing a bright green "CORRECT!" on the screen, as it switches to the access screen, I see the option to... open a safe, perfect! I click the option, and I hear a sliding metal lock from the nearby metal box.

Excitedly, I reach into the safe and find... oddly enough, a bag of bottle caps. What good is that gonna do? I look a bit further and find what looks like a box, and inside of it is a large pair of sunglasses with elongated temples that look as if they were made for someone with my facial build. and beyond that, I find an antique pistol, and a glove of some sort. Wait a minute, this isn't a glove. I start to examine it a bit and I see something interesting about it. It's made of several mechanical pieces and fastens directly to an arm, it seems. I see wires that would connect to the inner workings and probably the nerves as well. I look at the fingers, Each one has a skeletal digit covered with several sheets of fiber-thin steel to resemble muscle tissue, with a thin, hard skin over the whole thing. I look back in the box and I find a piece of paper. I unfold and read it to find that it says...

"Hey Boss,
The arm is something I whipped up a while back, I like to call the "Sharpshooter". Put this on what should be your right arm. Use this gun, I call it the "Broadsider", with it. I knew you would need it. This is gonna help you quite a bit, trust me. Look at the instructions I included for the Broadsider. It'll show you how to fire and reload it. Use it wisely, buddy, this gun will keep you alive. I'm sorry your arm got slagged, but I hope you like it."

Wow, Whoever owned this office must've had someone who really cared about him. He gave him a prosthetic arm created just to fire this specific pistol. Looking at the pistol, I notice it looks like a Mauser... no, the Shanxi were what the Chinese called them. The German name, Mauser, was what I always preferred. It was always one of my favorite gun models. Something weird about it though... an engraving on the magazine, and the hammer thingy in the back looks a bit bulkier, like they added more to it. I kinda want to try it out. I don't want to misfire by trying to put it in my mouth... I reach down for the glove and decide to risk it. I slide it on, and I'm met by a huge wave of pain as SNIKT! a series of needles inject into my arm, I feel a crazy sensation in my arm as if something is coursing through it, and as I writhe in pain, the fingers... move?

I hold out the gauntlet and try to straighten out the digits right in front of me... Wow, Human fingers... I'm still wowed about it, but I keep experimenting. Extend, retract... one, two, three, four, and five is the thumb. Maybe if I... I snap my fingers, but a metallic CLANK! plays. Alright, the snapping of my fingers is a negative. Can I open the office door by myself? I walk to the door and reach out for it. I close my fingers around it and turn, not getting too much as a result... It does lose a bit of traction, being mostly metal. It seems I have a highly functional hand attached to my right hoof. I suppose now i should read the manual. Shit, if this thing isn't removable, I've screwed the pooch... and I'm not talking about the one outside.

I thumb through the booklet and find a few things, mostly on how to take care of the gun, so I digest that information, and read on, apparently I can remove it if need be, but I need to pull the wires out of my arm each time... OUCH... I keep turning pages rapidly, and find something else interesting... a set of blueprints. With enough reverse engineering, I could potentially build a left sharpshooter as well. I'm already feeling pretty damn good about breaking into that safe, and a little intrigued at who else must have needed those shades. I make a mental note that I need to keep a lookout for any other other hidden goodies. I rush outside to show Butch, and he's already pulled up a chair beside Dick, and it seems like they're having a good time. Well, if everything's working out...

I walk up to Butch and sit down beside him, showing him the hand I found, and opening a package of salisbury steak and watching how Dick cooks it. He places the steak on a stick and roasts it over the fire, leaving the package with the peas and mashed potatoes to warm by the fire. I follow suit and do the same thing, but it's so much easier than using my hoof to do it. My brain starts to tick, I had eaten meat before in the vaults, and I usually eat by dropping my snout towards it and gobbling it up, having only basic lifting abilities. I can lift huge boxes or carry small items, like my tools or a spatula, but right here is different. This is a chance for me to experience human dining. I think of something from a book I read that I always wanted to try. I saw a picture in a history book once of two boys at an amusement park eating something from a stand called a "hot dog" and they looked so happy, like they lived in a bygone age of peace, where things were simpler. Well, simpler than THIS, at least. I reach down and try to mold the steak into a sausage shape, but it breaks a little bit. I don't mind this though, so long as my next idea works. I reach in to grab the mashed potatoes and start to mold those as well, not very well, as my hoof presses a bit too hard with no sure way to mold the blob, and my hand is functioning, but not suited for more viscous substances. "Well, there go my OTHER dreams of playing the piano and sculpting", I joke to myself.

"Snake, what the hell are you doin'?", Butch asks me.

"I'm uh... trying to shape these mashed potatoes into a hot dog bun.", I say with him responding via his trademark obnoxious laugh.

"Hahaha, a hot dog? Like in those history books?", as I nod my head, he grabs the blob of what I presume is spuds, and molds it into a holder, loaded with his fingerprints "Here, how about that?"

"Dude, it's perfect! I excitedly grab the makeshift bun and hold it close, but not too close to the fire, as if to try and toast it. It only works semi-well, but the spuds just get hot and runny. I hold onto it as best as I can and place the meat inside of it. All that's left is the peas, so I decide to put those on top of the meat. Soon I have a strange hodgepodge of ingredients that very vaguely resembles said hot dog. I see Butch and Dick lean in, waiting to see my reaction, and i flourish the steak-dog, and bring it slowly towards my mouth...

I'm stopped suddenly by something pulling on my leg. I look down and see the dog resting a paw on my leg as he reaches up for my food. Damn, now I have a problem. I don't wanna starve the puppy, so I take a piece of the meat and hold it over to the dog's mouth. He snaps it up greedily, biting into my hoof, but it doesn't register to me as anything more than a slight nibble. My hoof can take a lot of stress, I know that for sure. I watch him scarf it down, bark happily, and after running around in several little circles, he sits next to me, just staring. I have to admit, I like this dog. I finally take a bite of the steak-dog, and start to chew. The bun needs some work, and I would prefer a different topping, but the ingredients came out rather well. I see Butch and Dick now trying to do the exact same thing, before I can warn them otherwise. Oh well, at least they'll figure it out the hard way. After forming and making 2 new steak-dogs and trying them out, I gauged their faces, seeing probably the same reactions I had.

"Ugh... a bit chunky, but not too bad", Butch had to say.

"Yeah, and think, with a bit of tweaking, I could make this a common thing. Imagine dudes, Snakebit's Steak-Dogs, finest in the wasteland!", i start doing my best impression of one of those old commercials for a restaurant. After getting a few laughs, I get a couple of questions about the robot hand I've been using, I tell Butch about the safe I opened and how I found this gauntlet, and he asks if he can try it out. "Butch, last time I checked, you had both your hands and all ten fingers. Besides, this thing has a boot up sequence you would NOT like."

"Oh yeah? What's it do?", He asks, with Dick now leaning in to listen as well.

"It has these tiny needles that stick into your arm and inject something, but I'm guessing it's because it was made for people who don't have hands, so maybe it helps whatever they have get re-accustomed." Butch takes a long look at it, seeing the sleeve that leads to the gauntlet, If I were him, I would probably be thinking about how the cybernetic hand either fits a ruined hand, and provides framework, or a stump with no hand, and takes the full function of the hand, adapting to the damage the victim has sustained. Later, he responds simply with a basic observation.

"Hey dude, did ya notice the little eight here?"

"Huh? Whatcha mean?", I look at the same area, the upper part of the palm, right in the center of the hand, is what looks like a figure eight, and a word spelled sideways.

"Hey Butch, look at the word at the side of the eight... or UNDER it.", I point it out to him, and he looks. He reads out loud...

"Our Rob or Ross? The hell is that?", he scratches his head and looks at me.

"I dunno why you expect me to know... Maybe it was the company that- No, it was made specially by a guy for his boss. At least, that's what it said in the letter that came with it." This is something I'm gonna be stuck on for quite some time, but it's starting to get late. I can tell by the almost complete lack of visibility. I head inside of the office, and Butch follows suit, Dick and his dog take another room, but before he steps in, he says he needs to take care of something. I wave to him and the pup, saying "Goodnight", as he walks out the door one last time.

Dick walked outside, and over to the nearest boxcar. Trying not to make a sound, he popped open a locked chest and pulled out his hidden cache, about seven sticks of dynamite and a small pistol, and stuffed them into his shirt. Wherever these two were headed, there was either free food and supplies, or more raiders. Dick needed to be prepared, for ANY occurrence. He looked back at the office and scoffed, they'll have a good night's sleep tonight, that's for sure...

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Kiss The Cook"

Havin' fun around the campfire is your specialty! You can now improvise new recipes out of packaged foods and do a permanent +20% damage with all fire-based weapons.

Chapter 7: Homeward Bound

Chapter 7: Homeward Bound

"Whatever happens, the worst is behind us. Let's go home."

I wake up a bit earlier than usual, feeling rested, but also a little drained. I try to lift myself up and stretch for the skies, a feeling familiar to every morning, and I look around, but i see no steel walls or sealed doors. Nor any hint of my old room. Merely a few wooden crates, the small bed we neglected to use, a lamp plugged into a few lemons, a kitchenette with a coffee pot and an assortment of packaged foods I have never seen before, and a dresser with a book on top of it. It reads "The History of Equestria". I get up, put my clothes and glasses on, and pick it up. This could be important. I look over at the sleepy mare sprawled out under the blanket we shared. I don't want to wake her up, but i don't think a mare that lets me cum inside of her ass would mind me reading a book. I look over at the kitchenette and decide to brew some coffee for the both of us, and when Ellie wakes up, I'll surprise her with some breakfast... I'll look around first.

I poke around the cabinets and an actual working refrigerator. That's surprising for a town without a vault. How do they do it, I wonder? Moving on, I find some packets of "Mr. Crust's Crispy Carrots", and potato chips made by a jolly Santa Claus of a pony named "Sultan Vinegar". Are these typical pony names? That would make things SO much easier for humans. They would easily know what they should be doing with themselves, I still don't know if I should be cooking food, repairing machines and appliances, or giving advice to bickering Humans. Ugh, I'm apparently not too shabby at murdering slavers in self defense... maybe my name should be "Snake-eater" or "Stabfang" or something extreme like that. No, I don't make a habit of killing people. They may have been survivors like us, but that doesn't excuse slavery or trying to kill my friends. I need to keep a close eye on Dick. I like him, he seems genuine, but I don't know his real intentions. Back to the food.

After a while of searching, I find some carrots, a daisy... sandwich, and several large blackberries. No idea what those are. I also find some water, and in the cabinet, some cooking oil. Maybe i can whip something up with these ingredients. I put them back as I wait for the coffee to brew, and I sit down, slowly opening the book in front of me. I sit and read for a minute, when the first thing I find is what sounds like a fairy tale. Three types of Ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies, which I suppose i must be, made three separate tribes and after a long and cold life, hiding from evil spirits called Wendigos, united to stop said spirits from freezing the land over completely. After years of raising the sun and moon themselves, Celestia and Luna... two Alicorn sisters, were trained to do the task themselves, having enough magic within them to do it over and over.

There are so many stories in here... Changelings, these bug creatures that eat emotions, then Tirek and Scorpan, a centaur and a gargoyle who wanted to steal the Ponies' magic, before Scorpan accepted the Ponies rather than destroyed them. Then I find even more stories of the creation of events and holidays like the Grand Galloping Gala, and Hearts and Hooves Day. There's even a story about Starswirl The Bearded, the mentor of the two sisters, joining a group of six followers to plant a sacred tree and create six elements of harmony. I read further on, and I find wars against the changelings, the races of Yaks, and Griffons, and Hippogriffs, and great battles against Sirens, a Unicorn with a broken horn, and even a dark Unicorn king. After that, Celestia, who controlled the sun apparently banished Luna to the moon, long ago, for attempting to rebel. I thought HUMANS had family issues. So then she reappears as a monster called Nightmare Moon, only to be defeated later by one Twilight Sparkle, who after fighting many hardships with her own gang of friends at her side, even finding the same enemies from the past, managed to rise to the top and become not only an Alicorn, but a princess. She took Celestia's place as the ruler of Equestria... but I wonder, is she still alive? She's supposed to be their leader, so that has to be important. I'll have to ask Ellie when she wakes up. For the moment, the coffee stopped brewing, so I might as well have some.

I spend so long reading the book that I forgot to cook something, so I get up, gather a few of the vegetable ingredients and start chopping them up, making some semblance of a salad, but these mutant blackberries are incredible. Despite their design, I can slice them as thinly as tomatoes. I use the daisies as the base for it, add the mutfruit slices as the tomato replacement, and top it with the carrots. I take a bite... fair enough for a wasteland salad, I hope Ellie enjoys it. For now, I sit back down and continue reading, engrossed completely in these stories. When I think I've torn into the book enough, I set it aside and relax, sipping a cup of coffee. There are far too many creatures that I haven't even seen yet. Many creatures of the wasteland, and even more from this Equestria place. Will I come across any cool ones? Maybe some other races, but hopefully that one centaur stays put. As I take another sip, I hear a loud "RAAAAAAGGH!" from behind me, and I fumble my cup, almost dropping it.

"You bucking dork, who wakes up this early?", She laughs as she asks the question.

"Ellie, you FUCKING scared me!", I say, as if correcting her.

"Wait... fucking? What in Tartarus is a fuck?"

"You say 'bucking?', well, we use the term 'fucking' where I come from. Also... 'Tartarus'?"

"That's weird. What's a 'fuck'?" Ellie looks confused, of course, so I explain.

After exchanging a little bit of terminology, I come to understand a bit more of Ellie and, as a result, the speech patterns of my own race. I realize that human terms, like most swears, religious figures, and references to weapons don't come as easily to ponies, being a mostly peaceful race without the same theology as humans. Despite being peaceful, they did find themselves at war with many different races, using only their strength, flight, and the Unicorns' magic.

"So... magic really does exist?" I ask Ellie.

"Of course it does... or well, it used to be far more prevalent, but now it's far more reserved. Unicorns mostly use it along with modern technology, as it enhances whatever it touches, and can be used to some amazing effects, like the hydroponic gardens, and these flowers we started growing, and the bees? I LOVE the bees. They gave me the job of taking care of them and collecting the honey!" She gives such a warm smile after saying this, and I'm taken aback at how some people can truly keep themselves happy in this world. Nevertheless, I love that smile on her face, and I want her to keep it.

"So, you mean they use magic, but not as much as they used to?"

"Exactly. Why are you so curious anyway?", Ellie curiously asks.

"Well, lemme start. I'm an Earth Pony, I was raised around humans instead of ponies, you're the first other pony I've met, you have wings, and not only that, but there are other ponies with horns, and there are somehow even more species, not even pony-related ones?"

Ellie stands motionless. "Oh geez, no wonder you want to know." She stifles a laugh, but finishes by saying "Well, the thing is... None of us really know why we're here. A long time ago, Ponies used to live in a faraway land called Equestria, and it was NOTHING like here. From what I know, Ponies used to walk on four legs, they were extremely resilient to the crazy things that would happen day by day, and they could do all manner of insane feats of strength, speed, and magic, but now, somehow we ended up here, surrounded by these humans. Not only that, but in retaining some, but not all of our abilities, the humans see us all as magical, even though these are innate to Ponies, Unicorns and Pegasi. The unicorns were hit the most heavily though. As we evolved, we grew taller, we learned to walk on two legs, and we after too many failed attempts to reach human beings, we learned to stay away from them, and the Unicorns?... They adapted so well to this new world, advancing in science, medicine, machinery, that they lost most of their magic."

"Geez, that sucks... Why on Earth would that happen?"

"I don't know, but so long as they have their technical abilities, everything we used magic for could always be recreated through the machines they build. They even created that 'Second Sun' suspended over the town."

"Holy crap... That thing is all because of a machine?", I have to ask, having thought the floating nuclear fireball was COMPLETELY magic-based.

"Yep, they built a machine to recreate a small sun as well as various weather patterns to ensure the health of our crops.", she says as if this is a normal thing.

I stand there, shocked at what I'm hearing. "That's not exactly a normal thing. Humans would kill to get their hands on that kind of technology."

Ellie looks worried, and her ears lower as she turns away, sadly. "I know. That's part of why I was so scared of your friends coming over. I hope no one's afraid of them." It hits me at that moment. I let my rowdy thug of a best friend who I have trouble reigning in, and an ex-slaver who may very well be untrustworthy, into a town of pacifist ponies in possession of technology and resources that their race constantly kill each other for...

"BUCK!" I set the half-drank coffee cup on the table and bolt from my seat. "Enjoy the salad, I have to go!"

Ellie is surprised, of course, and begins to ask, "Wait, what's wrong? Salad? Snakebit, what's the matter!?"

There was no time, I had to hightail it out of there and look for Butch and Dick. This would be easy, if I follow the only feeling I had at the moment. "Look for the area where the people in town are obviously having a problem", is that nagging feeling. I look around and see several shops, all looking fine, I hear no one shouting in or around them. I have to keep looking. I head to the fields, thinking we did need to bring back food. No one here except the field workers either. They're wave hello to me, but I can't talk right now, but thank goodness they're friendly. Where else can I check? Butch said he needed a drink.

I head over to the bar and throw open the door, and sure enough, the first thing I see are two humans punching a fellow pony in the face... much to my surprise though, they seem to be getting along. No one is stopping them, and they seem to be exchanging punches evenly, and egging each other on.

"Butch! What on Earth is goin' on here?", I run into the bar, to his side.

"Hey man... This place has got some great shit! They got these HUGE mugs o' cider, freshly squeezed from REAL apples, and they got this stuff called 'Snails' Pale Ale', one of my new friend's favorites, eh Bar Fly?", He slurred as he spoke, clearly intoxicated, but after trekking through a dirty, sweaty ghost town, I won't fault him for having a good time. Regardless, his new friend begins to speak, slurring just as much.

"Eh... nice to meetcha mizzer Snake! Butchie ere's tol' me ALL aboutcha. You like to stab radroaches wit a switchblade, eh? We could use an exterminator round 'ere... too many Ponies are afraid of 'em.", He was a big Pegasus, with a distended beer-gut and a long, bushy beard. He could barely see out of one eye, I'm assuming with the cataract in it, and he looked like a mountain man, wearing flannel, overalls, fingerless gloves, and a tuque hat. His breath REEKED of cider and old carrots, but he seemed friendly enough. "An' ya slaughtered the raiders that took our lil' Ellie, didja? That sounds 'orrible, but at least ya showed this one a lesson, huh Dick?"

Dick didn't look so happy, but he played along, tracing the rim of his shot glass "Yeah, the neon green pony with the snake eyes sure showed me I was on the wrong team, not like I knew... hey barkeep! Get me another shot of bourbon, please.", he looked like has suffering in silence, afraid to say something important.

"Hey Bar Fly, ease up a bit, alright? He didn't wanna work for them in the first place. They pretty mu-", I'm interrupted by a palm to my stomach pushing me aside. "What the buck, Di-"

"No. I'M gonna tell him. Listen here, Drunky, I don't suppose you know what it's like, having your family killed in front of you and having to smash two heads in at age nine, but it's pretty fuckin' unfair! Look at you, this chubby schmuck drinkin' all he wants like it's his job, and ya wanna know what MY job was?", Dick is starting to crack. I need to defuse the situation, but Butch actually holds me back.

"No man, this is important. Watch... He's startin' to show us who he is.", I haven't heard this side of Butch before, maybe when he's drunk, he's not trying to act tough all the time? I take his advice and listen.

Bar Fly finally responds with "No, I dunno what yer job was. Wanna tell me?"

Dick's anger turned to complete despair as he recounted the job of a slaver. "I kidnapped people, and Equestrians like you, putting rings on the Unicorns' horns and binding the Pegasi with ropes. I helped keep them in line, often threatening them with my sledgehammer, or kicking them in the ribs to keep 'em quiet. At the end of the day, I got nothin' to my name, I got treated like dirt by my so-called friends, SAME friends that murdered my mum and dad, mind you... and I got about as much to eat as the captures. I was planning to escape since before I met these guys, but..." Dick's face turns red, and he begins to grab at his face, as if he has a migraine. "I didn't get the chance to do it, ok? I tried... I just didn't want to DIE. I was talking to Ellie and... I was thinking she would take me with her if we escaped. Why are you all acting like you're ok with me?"

Bar Fly walks up to Dick, claps a hand onto his shoulder, and for a moment, he looks angry as he towers above him. "You wanna know why, kiddo?" Dick looked a little scared as he stared straight at him, but he nods his head, face full of tears, and Bar Fly continues, "Dick, lemme tell ya, there are tons of terrible people out there, but ya wanna know why we even let you stay here? Because you got the BALLS to learn somethin'. Ah don't blame you, Dick. You've had a pretty rough time, and I'll bet right now is the only time you've grabbed some boozers and just talked with some friends, huh?"

Dick seems to relax, and the bartender suddenly gives him his shot glass, and smiles at him as he returns to his work. "Well, not the FIRST time, but yeah, actually. I was always stuck with those guys my whole life."

"Well, now that'cha ain't, these two told ya what you were doin' wrong, ya said ya were sorry, and if any of us actually DO blame you, you can try and fix things. Ya hear that people? We got a human who learns friendship lessons!", for some reason, the entire bar erupted into cheers. The bartender came back, and passed us 3 large mugs, filled to the brim with a sweet, golden cider. Apparently the "new friends" deserved a reward for rescuing Ellie and learning a lesson, in Dick's case.

"Hey barkeep...", I begin to say, before he interrupts me to ask how I knew his name. I roll my eyes and laugh before finishing, "Just a lucky guess, but why is it so important that Dick learns friendship lessons?"

Barkeep turns to me and says "Well surely you must know. The whole reason we Ponies can't get along with humans is because they don't understand how friendship lessons work. Yeah, they don't feel bad, or apologize, or anything... they just keep coming up with reasons to justify their terrible behavior and keep hurting people. Truth be told, I'm actually pretty impressed by your friends there. They act all rough around the edges, but they ain't bad at all."

It feels good to hear it from someone else, but I can't help feeling a little shitty. These Ponies talk about humans like they're totally irredeemable, at least usually, but genuinely happy and accepting when someone like Dick shows a bit of humility. I may be a pony, but I was raised with these humans like they were my family. This reminds me, I need to find a way to get some food and water and bring it back to the vault. I ask Barkeep if he can help, and surprisingly, he tells me he'll talk to Droplet, the water pump manager. I head over to my two fellow knuckleheads and give them the news.

"Hey guys, it's time for us to get moving. We can come back later, but we need to get those supplies to the vault, remember?"

Dick speaks up, "Of course! Let's get to the vault! They're probably worried about you guys, right?", I'm glad Dick is excited, but... why, exactly? I don't know how the vault will react to an ex-slaver joining our ranks. At the very least, with no weapons and restocked food stores, he'll probably be able to relax.

"Hey..." Butch says, starting to his feet, "Whaddya mean, time to go? Did ya find food? "

I explain, "Well, I talked to Barkeep, and he'll help with the water, and I had an idea for the food. Follow me." I led them to a person I knew would be able to help. I knocked on the door, and found Ellie jumping through the entryway and latching onto me like a parasite.

"Snakebit, where did you GO!? I was so worried...", her ears were still lowered, and her eyes were indeed widened with worry.

"Sorry Ellie, you told me that Ponies had some bad blood with humans, and I feared the worst. Ellie, I'll be back, promise, but I need help. My family is running out of food and water, and I wanted to ask you about your honey. You said it's filling, antiseptic, anesthetic, all that stuff, right? I was thinking, what if we took that back to the vault?"

Ellie perked up, excited to finally be able to help, I suppose, and she yelled, "Oh my Celestia, that's a great idea! I'll have some out for ya, hang on a second!" and she ran inside the shack, where I heard clattering, and what i assume was her, scrambling to get everything prepared. I thought about how I ran out earlier, and the salad I made for us, so I turned to the "entourage" and asked to talk with her alone for a second.

"You mean HIM?", Butch laughed nastily, "Dude, you fallin' for a dude?"

I rolled my eyes and walked in, behind Ellie, and asked her, "Hey Ellie, sorry about running out like that, I- ", She smushes herself right into me and plants a kiss right on my muzzle.

"It's ok, I forgive you." She narrows her eyes and smiles. "You know, I enjoyed the salad too.", I could not be happier. I guess everything worked out in the end.

"Oh, that's great! but uh, one other thing. You mentioned Celestia, and not the town. She was that princess that raised the sun, right?"

"Yeah, of course, why do you ask?"

"I wondered... ya built that machine to recreate the sun and weather... but what happened to Celestia?"

Ellie simply shrugged and said "That was such a long time ago, no one remembers. The only thing we know is that Celestia just disappeared one day, and a while after that, there was a massive flash of light, a burning pain, and we were suddenly transported to this world, filled with humans, bugs, dragons with horns, metal people, all kinds of freaky creatures."

I think for a bit. Why would Celestia leave her people? This isn't a good sign. I would continue pondering this, but as I look at the collection of honey jars she's prepared, I feel a swelling sense of relief that our problem has been solved. I pack up the honey into backpacks and hand em over to the guys, and we go back to pick up the water from Droplet. As we head back to Celestia's entrance, I call back to my new "marefriend" as I leave Celestia, hoping to come back soon.

"I need to get goin. I'll see you when I get back, ok Ellie?", I call back to her as she waves goodbye excitedly.

"Man, what a day, huh Snake?", Butch asks.

I respond, "Yeah, but look at this! We found new friends, a new town, and a bunch of supplies for the vault. We play our cards right, and we could have a long-standing ally."

Dick fumbled around in his pocket, making sure the dynamite he smuggled was still there and gave a small grin. He was starting to doubt himself...

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Equestrian Citizen"

You fit in so naturally with your own kind, but even more so with your natural Charisma. You get +15% bonus experience from speech challenges and a 30% discount when dealing with former species of Equestria. Remember, friendship is magic!

Chapter 8: The Turncoat

Chapter 8: The Turncoat

"Why does it seem like the people closest to you are the ones that'll buck you over the worst?"

It had been about a day or so, when we started walking back from Celestia, with all of the honey and water, along with some packaged food we had managed to gather from the generous townsfolk as well. I turned to tell my friends that we were headed in the right direction, and close to the vault.

"Alright guys, we're almost home... or well, just 'the vault', for you. Dick.", I announce to em.

"Thank god for that. My feet are killin' me. Think when we get back, we can get ol' lady Palmer to make some of those sweet rolls?", Butch asks rather enthusiastically.

"I don't see why not? We're coming back as the Tunnel Snakes, heroes of-", and Butch shoots me a sneer that makes me freeze in place as I rephrased my words. "The badasses that found this shit to give to all those helpless scrubs." I smile at him, and he seems a lot more pleased with that response.

"Aight, THAT'S more like it, bud! The Tunnel Snakes RULE!", he flashes a big grin and gives me thumbs-up.

I join him in his self-made mantra as Dick remains silent, fiddling with his backpack. He's been pretty quiet for the longest time, but I figure he must be nervous about having to introduce himself to the rest of the vault. I'm not sure about how the rest of my friends and neighbors are going to react to an ex-raider coming into the vault, much less to one staying. I sure hope I don't have to go back on my promise.

Having continued on foot all night, not stopping at the junkyard for a second time, we had made good time, but by now we were drained like Hell of our energy. I wondered if Dick's dog would be okay with us leaving him behind until further notice. Perhaps if the vault is alright with Dick staying with us, we could go back out and look for him. One thing's for sure, Wally, Freddie, and Paul will be back soon as well. I can't wait to see if they were as successful as we were. Checking again on our hauls, I start thinking everything might be alright... for now, anyway. Soon we'll all be safe and fed, and the vault can see us as real citizens, not just the resident hoodlums. Butch may have his dreams of being a thug, but out here it's crazy, and in the vault, some of the biggest badasses look about as threatening as that dog on the outside. We can't be a gang forever, but we CAN be friends forever... but I could never say that to his face. Friendship... There's that thought again...

"Hey Snake-Eyes, get the lead outta your ass!" my thoughts are interrupted by Butch shouting at me. I take this as a "We're home!", and I move towards him, where the cave door comes into view. As we all walk in through it, the gigantic vault door greets us with it's large face and the number "101" painted in glaring yellow paint. I approach, cautiously, and I turn to Butch and Dick.

"Hey guys...", I begin, feeling anxious. "We got the supplies. Here we are. Does something seem off to you?"

Butch replied by laughing at me and saying, "Dude, we WON. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Fine... Let's give the vault suckers their supplies, right?"

"Friggin A-right, Snake."

We enter the password as before, "HeartofGold", and we enter the vault, and there to greet us, is Stevie Mack, but he doesn't look TOO happy. I see Wally behind him, with that eternal sourpuss look on his face, and Freddie, not even looking us in the eyes. What happened here? Is Paul back too?

"Hey Steve, is everything alright? What's the matter?", I say before he can even greet us.

"Hey boys, I hate to say it, but I've got some bad news and... who is THAT?", he starts off with that kinder tone that the vault security team taught him, but he spots Dick and begins to get a bit more unnerved.

"Hold on a minute Steve, He helped us out. Coulda betrayed us before, but he didn't. I wanted to ask Mr. Mack about him, but that can come later. What happened?"

Steve took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, and began to talk. "Well, Wally and Freddy have returned as well..."

I realize from his sentence, Paul's absence, and the expressions of my fellow snakes, what must have happened. I interrupt him, fearing the worst. "No... Is Paul missing?"

Steve regains his composure. "No... I'm afraid he won't be coming back."

Butch butts in, sounding angry and scared. "No way! You mean like? Is he?..."

Steve can do nothing but nod his head slowly. I look at Butch, who stares back at me, crestfallen. I wish I knew what to say, I could ALWAYS think of something to say... but not now. I try to think, and immediately, my eyes dart over to Freddie, who starts staring at me, and Wally, now averting his eyes indefinitely... as if doing a complete one-eighty from their original plan. They must know something. at least, I hope so.

Steve however, stops me from talking to them. "Snakebit... explain.", He points towards the scrawny, spiky-haired goblin of a hitchhiker, and demands to know what on earth I'm planning. I tell him I'm just seeing if I can bargain for Dick's acceptance into the vault, but keeping in mind that he was part of a band of slavers, albeit against his will, so we need to make sure he isn't planning anything stupid. He proclaims that I'm insane and takes Dick with him to Mr. Mack. I wave goodbye to him and give him my backpack as well, keeping my new pistol a secret... No way am I getting this item confiscated. It's a relic of our big wasteland mission, I think to myself.

I walk over to Freddie and Wally, and immediately, Wally is on the defensive. "Hey Snake, what the hell took YOU so long? Stop to pick up any other freaks on the road?"

Immediately, I'm... enraged. Not just by his usual shitty attitude, but Paul just died, and HE knows how it happened. He's the one who should be given the shitty attitude, not me. Against my better judgement, I give in, and press him for information by doing one thing he can't stand. Making him feel stupid.

"Yeah Wally, in fact, I did. Maybe since you fucked up so royally, Dick can become a tunnel snake now!"

Shock... Nothing but shock in his face. I guess he didn't expect me to snap at him like this, but even I don't feel myself doing it. I'm shaking with what feels like anger, but I'm putting up such a front to try and sound confident.

"What the fuck did you just say to me, you little shit-stain?", he steps forward, thinking I'm terrified. I'm only MODERATELY nervous.

"I guess you're incompetent AND deaf. You fucked up, not us. I don't see any supplies, and you lost Paul, so explain that, you fuck-up."

He grimaces for a second, but regains his composure, and slugs me right in the jaw, with a harsh THWACK! Ugh... that piece of shit. I knew he was hiding something, but surprisingly, I don't have to fight back... BUTCH, of all people, is jumping straight at him, and Freddie is holding them both back, trying to make peace. He's a nice kid, I'm glad we accepted him into the Snakes.

I get back up, my jaw aching, and I spit out a bit of blood. "You motherfucker. I knew you were hiding something. Now what happened to Paul? You have to tell us."

"Oh yeah, and who the hell said that?" He's losing it now. I look at Butch and Freddie, and check with them.

"Because three on one isn't a fair fight."

"You've got some balls telling ME what to do, you little spaz. I still don't have to tell you shit. Butch, is THIS who you're siding with? This horse-freak?"

Butch answers, "Shut up. Snake is more of a Snake than you're bein' right now. I ain't blaming anything on anyone, but you're bein really weird right now, AFTER Paul died, under your leadership. You gotta know what happened, and if YOU don't tell me what happened, I can ask Freddie. If I gotta ask Freddie, you are OUT."

"What? You can't fire me from MY gang!", That does it, here comes their stupid power struggle static again.

"Butch throws the first punch, and Wally catches it, kneeing him in the stomach. I can't just sit here, Butch is like my brother, so I charge in, putting my hoof into his chest, and knocking him into a wall. Freddie goes to pick up Butch, and Wally gives me another punch, this time in the shoulder. What an idiot, hitting me in a tougher spot. I wait until he recoils and I punch him in the jaw, thinking of payback, but when I try to kick his stomach, like he did to Butch, he catches it, pulling me to the ground and getting on top of me, ready to smash my face. Crap, now I'm in for it... Butch kicks him off me and shoves him to the ground like he did to me, following by kicking him in his ribs. I get up and join in, but after a few good hits, we soon hear a voice speak up.

"Guys! Enough. I'll tell ya what happened, just stop fighting!", It was Freddy. He never liked fighting, he acted like a bully, but he had some issues of his own. V.D.S., or Vault Depressive Syndrome. He never talked about it, but it made him grow up a bit differently. He stopped being funny and cheerful, and not like us, where I was getting used to my work, Wally was a sour apple or Butch who just... never changed. He just sort of floated around, like a ghost. They gave him pills for it, but I don't think they helped him, more, numbed the pain. It had really done a number on the poor guy.

Butch and I back away, Wally getting to his feet while we watch him for any sign of aggression. He looks like an angry animal, staring right at us. I watch him, and wave to Butch, and he hoofs it over to Freddie, and as they talk it out, I hear Butch question the whole thing. Wally stares at me like he wants to wring my neck, and all I do is return his glare, but I won't kill him, I'm in this to find out what happened to Paul. Interrupting our staring contest, Butch walks over to announce what happened.

"Snake, this fucker watched as Paul was torn apart by mole rats. Said he dropped his gun, so he couldn't fight back, and took Freddie's, but he didn't even use it. Lil' bastard didn't even fight back. Couldn't even give him a mercy kill, could ya?", Butch breaks from his rant to give a well-placed right hook to Wally's face. He recoils, Butch having broken his nose. I don't like how this is shaping up at all.

"Butch, this isn't right. Paul got killed out there, and thanks to Wally? We're supposed to be a team!", I shout unintentionally, just too angry with the situation to hold it back. I look at Wally, suddenly drained and more upset than anything. "Wally, what were you thinking? Mole rats? You could have shot the shit out of them..."

He just looks away, never answering me. Fine... so apparently we have a man who gets my friends murdered in our vault. I can't believe that I was worried about the new guy. Thinking of him, I get up and walk away. I hear Butch announce that Wally is no longer one of them, and Freddie breaks down crying in the background, poor kid. I head towards Mr. Mack's office and wave through the window. He presses a button on his desk and gestures for me to enter, which I do. I notice he looks stressed, and I just know it has something to do with Dick.

"Hey Mr. Mack, you doin ok?", I begin, "I brought back this guy since he helped us. He was-..."

I'm interrupted. "I'm aware. You mentioned he was an ex-slaver? Snakebit, are you an IDIOT?"

"You know the answer to that, sir. The truth is, he was forced to join in. He should have mentioned that."

"Yes, he's mentioned that, but unfortunately, we're not supposed to let outsiders into the vault, for fear of not only contamination, but betrayal. You're lucky I know you better, or I might consider THIS a betrayal.", What's with that tone of voice? Is he trying to make ME the bad guy now?

"Wait a minute, I know he's an outsider, but he's a good person, and if he told you about what happened to him, doesn't that at least make him better than any actual slavers? Besides, ME, betray the vault? That's just cold."

"Well, maybe it is, but you DID bring an outsider in. I have to help my people survive, regardless of how good you think this man is. I'm sure he helped you, but we can't allow a man who's no doubt had to kill in a wasteland to survive, this BARBARIAN, if you will, to stay in here."

I hear that, and I get angrier by the second. "Mr. Mack, What about WALLY? Thanks to him, Paul was killed. he took Freddy's gun and couldn't even shoot the damn mole rats. he just watched him get eaten..."

"My SON, Wally? You think long and hard about this, accusing one of my family of murder."

"I didn't say he killed him, Mr. Mack, I said he let him die. I HOPE it isn't true, but Freddy told us the whole thing. Apparently he saw Paul getting attacked, and he claimed he dropped his pistol, and asked for Fred's, but he never shot any of em, just watched him get eaten."

"Snake, Freddie's obviously lying, why wouldn't he do something?"

"I just told you, Wally asked for his gun.", I answer, getting a bit exasperated.

"Calm down, Snake... listen, if Wally took Freddie's gun, we just need to check them for weapons, alright? I hope you aren't jumping the gun, but if my son did something like THAT, this really is a lose-lose situation. Mr. uh...", Dick's name seems to escape our overseer.

"Dick, Mr. Overseer sir..", he answers, attempting to be polite.

"Don't brownnose me. It won't work.", he answers suspiciously, "I want you to follow us to the cell. First time we've had to use it, since Miss Armstrong."

"Ugh, don't remind me...", I add with a groan, and I notice Mr. Mack look at me kind of strangely. I always liked it better when we were on good terms.

"You wait there until this matter is resolved, and afterwards, We'll decide what to do with you.", Mr. Mack instructs, to which Dick nods, follows us, and sits down inside the cell, pulling out a bucking harmonica as we leave. I stifle a laugh as he starts blowing a bluesy tune.

Eventually, Mr. Mack and I come to the same spot where Butch and Freddie were questioning and then pummeling Wally, and he gawks, before running to stop the two of them from further admonishing him. Demanding to know what happened, wondering why I have no bruises, to which I show him my bitten tongue and swollen cheek, due to my green fur blocking the sight of any bruises, and in other words, panicking, we tell him the whole story, and he asks Freddie and Wally to hand over any weapons they may be holding. Wally claims Freddie handed his in, which of course, he denies, so I pipe up that Steve can help. He was the one who checked us all for weapons and supplies. Mr. Mack gets up to go get Steve, but as soon as he's out of view, Wally reaches into his pants and pulls out... the pistol he "dropped". Oh, buck me...

"Now all of you, shut your fuckin' mouths and back away. I'm not dealing with this bullshit anymore, not from you two idiots, or the freakshow over here. I honestly don't know which of you to shoot first. Maybe putting a bullet in Butch's head will actually do his brain some good... maybe I should do Freddie a favor... or maybe YOU.", and with that, he points the gun at me.

"Go ahead and try, you bucking psycho. I knew there was something off about you. Tell ya what, ya can't shoot all three of us..." I look around at Butch, more angry than afraid, and Freddie, clearly about to break down, but putting up his fists like a man of action. "Wally, you're a disgrace to the Snakes, THAT'S why this gang isn't yours. It never was. Now put the gun down and stop this befor-..." and immediately, I feel a bullet tear through my shoulder. I guess ya can't talk your way out of EVERY situation.

"Snake!", I hear Freddie yell out as I shout in pain. I start to fade in and out, with little fragmented THUDS and THWACKS and the occasional "motherfucker" thrown in. When I wake up, I see Mr. Mack running into the room, and breaking up the two of them, and taking the gun from Wally. "Hehe, get daddy's permission to do THAT.", I think to myself, and I try my best to get up, Freddie noticing my predicament and letting me lean on his shoulder. I can see what's happening, Butch and Mr. Mack are hashing it out, it seems, but then he pushes Butch, and steps towards me and Freddie, holding up the same pistol.

"Mr. Mack, why are you attacking us?", I ask, completely confused.

"Listen to me, I don't give a shit about your stupid Tunnel Snakes, hell, that's why I sent you out, and I'm sure as hell not gonna let you fuck with my family, but I need you alive. Gomez, drag the Pony to the clinic. Don't make me ask again."

I can't believe any of what's happening in front of me. I ask him, "Mr. Mack... Why are you doing this? I thought we were like, ALL a family."

"Well, I liked having you as my little pet, Snake, but last time I checked, the Overseer's rules are absolute, so that means I can order whatever I want."

My blood begins to boil hearing that damn word again. "pet", I am no one's pet. I push Freddy away and stand up straight, "Ya know what, Allen? If you're gonna abuse me and the guys who got your Celestia-damn supplies, alienate a real ally, and keep this sociopath by your side... fine by me, but I'm not staying, and neither are the Snakes."

"You don't have a choice, you brightly colored abomination. This was never ABOUT supplies. I'm just keeping you until that father of yours returns to reward me, or until you bring back more of that race of yours, so I can put them to work here. I have been planning this for too long to have you upstarts fuck it all up."

I have heard enough, and quickly, I pull out the Broadsider, before Mr. Mack can even begin his next rant. His eyes go wide, clearly seeing my new hand, and the pistol it was built to hold. I say to him, "Alright you fucker... I think you know what happens next. You release Dick, give us back OUR supplies, and we leave. and Wally gives us the jacket for good measure."

"You little shit, who are you to give me orders!?", around this time, we see vault security and other civilians move in, watching the whole thing, apparently knowing what went down the whole time. For once, I thank Celestia we live in such a cramped space where everyone can hear everything. I look at the stairs, as Steve comes down with his pistol raised.

"Dad, what in the hell are you doing?", He questions while standing firm, pointing it in our direction.

"'Overseer', son. We talked about this. and if you keep pointing that gun at me, I'm gonna have to put you away too. Your brother is in enough trouble as it is.", he answers. "I want you to take care of these two, and take Snakebit back to the doctor ALIVE. I tried to be fair, but he'll have to be sedated now."

"Dad, you're going nuts, stop this! put the gun down, NOW.", Steve tries to reason with the mad Overseer.

"No, son! get over here and help me deal with these renegades, permanently."

Steve is shocked and horrified, pointing a pistol at his own father, but he doesn't get a chance. Mr. Mack aims a shot at me and fires, but just as he does, Steve runs towards him and tackles him into the floor. I am so flustered that I don't know what to do, but I'm distracted by a certain someone at the base of the stairs, holding what looks like a lighter and... SEVEN STICKS OF DYNAMITE!?

"Hi everyone... So lemme guess, shit went south? you all are assholes who'll bite each others' heads off for a quick meal? Yeah... I figured. I see you there, Mr. Mack, was it? Stay there! I have dynamite and I WILL use it!

Holy shit, Dick was carrying dynamite this whole time. That bastard snuck explosives under our nose... I don't know if he's dangerous, or truly an ally. He steps toward us, between me and Mr. Mack and gives him an ultimatum.

"Alright fuckers! Mack baby, you listen to the Pony, OR, I blow your ass up. NOW." With that, he feigns moving the wick closer to the lighter's flame, laughing like a maniac. "Hehe, heh, c'mon, gimme a reason!"

I get up and point the Broadsider at Mr. Mack, telling him that me and the Snakes are leaving. Steve goes to retrieve the supplies, and the other citizens look on towards us, in terror, or sadness. Maybe it's both of them. I put on the backpack I was carrying, and pick up Butch from the floor. Freddie walks over to the vault door, and before Wally can do something stupid, I give Freddie the fallen pistol and remembering the double barrel in my backpack, I reach into my backpack and fish it out, giving it to Butch. I walk over to Wally and tell him to give me the jacket, but instead, he lashes out and punches me in the stomach. as I recoil, Dick panics and launches the dynamite at Mr. Mack before running into Wally with a sledgehammer... Road-apples, that's a little overkill. As the dynamite's fuse burns down next to the Overseer, and Wally's ruined jaw hits the floor, thus marks a dramatic decline in the Mack family, and a quick escape from the vault. As we open the door, with the citizens caught between radiation, or the blast radius of the dynamite, we storm out as fast as we can back into the wasteland, I think to myself, "Well... there is NO way that could've gone worse."

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Poison Heart"

Upon further inspection of the human condition, it's perfectly ok to be an asshole... if every other option has been exhausted. You don't wanna be like THEM, do ya? You do a permanent 20% damage boost to anyone with Negative Karma, with a bonus 15% to hostile allies, so long as you've failed a speech check.

Chapter 9: Well... We're Homeless. I Don't HAVE A Title.

Chapter 9: Well... We're Homeless. I Don't HAVE A Title.

"Well guys, I dunno where we're headed now, but no matter what, we've gotta stick together."

We had just escaped from the vault, rather left quickly, considering no one was going to follow us, and we regrouped outside of the cave entrance to check and see who needed help. Butch had been pushed into a wall, but brushed it off pretty quickly, Freddie was fine and Dick was barely breaking a sweat despite caving a man's jaw in with a sledgehammer, Only I had suffered an injury, a bullet wound to the shoulder. I begin wracking my brain for a solution, thinking I might be able to tough it out, but not wanting to burden my fellow Tunnel Snakes. Luckily, I don't have to think too hard before Dick hands me a Stimpak, and a small pill bottle. It was the Buck we had taken from the slavers.

"I think this'll help with the blood loss. We're gonna be on the road a while, and you need a boost. Careful though, this is designed for Ponies like you, so you could get addicted if ya take too many.", he instructs, probably wanting me to pay close attention. I would, but I'm feeling a nagging pain that's making it very hard to focus. I decide to take care of that NOW.

I do as he says, only taking two pills and injecting the stimpak into my shoulder. Ugh... I hate needles, but i'm gonna have to get used to them with all the Celestia-damn gunplay here. Does everyone tote a firearm and just demand everything? What happened to common decency, and reasoning? Maybe those were never REALLY in high demand, if the Mack family is an indication. Sheesh, I spent all my years in that bucking steel cube working several jobs, for THIS? I find out I was intended for nothing but a goddamn slave? Butch can see something is wrong, and tries to ask in his own abrasive way, what it is.

"Hey man, you're freakin us out... You ok?"

"No... NO, I am not ok. We're homeless, I lost the only family I ever had, Even if some of those plotholes DID care about us, they LIED! They used ME..."

"HEY! Shut your yap, Snake-eyes. Those pricks used ALL of us, and ya know what? you're in the same boat we are, but ya know what?", Butch never gets THIS serious. What's his angle?

I decide to ask, "What, Butch?"

"We have the WASTELAND as our new home. Nothin' fazed us yet, and it ain't gonna. We're the TUNNEL SNAKES!", I see Freddie shout out the typical "Tunnel Snakes Rule!" mantra we've gotten used to shouting through the years.

I can't resist, and I get up, still gripping my shoulder, and shout out, "Tunnel Snakes, RULE!". Dick doesn't say anything, which reminds me to welcome him into the Tunnel Snakes, but also, I'm reminded of what the hell he DID in the vault. "DICK! What in the Tartarus were you doing with that dynamite!?... and HOW did you get your sledgehammer back?"

Dick looks a bit confused, "Wait... what's Tartarus?"

"Don't play dumb... WHAT was with the dynamite?"

He takes a deep breath and recounts what happened. "Well, they put me in the cell, but honestly, they pretty much fucked up the body search when you showed up and complained about that one stupid kid. They just shoved me in the vault with my lockpicks, dynamite, and... well, only thing they took was the hammer, so I just picked that up and snuck out when everyone was in the front room."

"That's not what I meant. WHY did you have dynamite?...", I get close to him and look him right in the eyes, with Butch and Freddie catching on and starting to question him as well.

He starts to shift, and looks away, eventually returning to face me and saying "Well, I was scared... but I was also wrong. You saw what those vaulties did to YOU, so... I decided to plan ahead, and it's a good thing I did, cause I didn't want you guys to die either. I may be a chicken-shit, but I'm a handy one to have around, eh?", and he gives a big grin, missing a few teeth. I may not trust this guy as far as I can throw him, but he DID save my life. He adds quickly, "I uh... I would have told you about it, but you wouldn't have let me keep it. and if you took it, then, well..."

"Look, I dunno what your deal is yet, but if you're going to blow up an old bastard and smash a childhood friend's jaw to save me... I'll let you tag along, ok?", I stare him down as his smile fades, and he speaks up in return.

"Yeah, I got it... but Snake, thanks. Not just for sparin' me, but givin' me a chance to return the favor. I know things are fucked up all around, in and out of the vaults, so I'm glad you took me along."

The part I hate the most is that he's right. If I didn't take him with us, something worse could have happened to us. I look at this guy, knowing what he'd been through, wondering why he wants to help us so much if he talks about how corrupt humans are all over the wasteland. Maybe it's just me? I know Butch and Freddie are humans, but I'm not. My mind is elsewhere, though, and I lift my left hoof to my eye level, studying it for some reason, twisting it all around, examining the humanoid build of my arm, but the hoof at the end of it, hard and strong, not a single finger on it, scratched from all of it's use, and still able to interact with small tools, fine motor skills be damned, however. I lift up the sharpshooter and see something very different. Still attached to my right arm, I've got 4 fingers and a thumb. Just as good as a human hand, but obviously a fake. "A forgery of mere circuits and steel", one might say, if one were a pompous ass. I chuckle to myself as I keep looking over it, but it must have been a while, as Dick taps my shoulder and asks if I'm alright. I nod, and tell him the news. We need to find a new home.

"So, where do we go from here?", Freddie asks.

"I can only think of one place, but I think we'll have to be careful, since I'm the only Pony here. What do you think, Butch?", I decide to answer him, but he still looks confused, and probably will be until I tell him what I'm referring to.

"What are you talkin' about, Snake?"

"Dude, keep it under wraps, but we found a place pull of Ponies, like me.", I respond.

"No way! Are you serious?", Freddie looked taken aback.

"Yeah, they're the ones who gave us the supplies... which now we should probably give back.", I chuckle a bit, but if we are looking for a place to live, that would help.

"Alright boys, we're headed back to Celestia.", Butch barks his order, and we all start moving in the direction of the town of Ponies.

"Hey Snake, think they'll want me sticking around for more than a day?", I hear Dick speak up, and I decide to try and make him feel better.

"Well sure, dude, ya stuck around, ya helped us out, and once we tell 'em about how ya backed us up in the vault, you'll get some BIG points in the hero department.", I grin wide and nod in his direction, which earns the same grin he gave me a conversation prior.

"yeah, maybe you're right. I DID do pretty well. Thanks man.", he reacts.

We continue walking with the marker on my Pip-Buck guiding the way, and after a bit of time, we come across the same mountain as before. I wave to Freddie and tell him the mountain is an illusion, so he needs to grab onto one of us and make sure he doesn't get lost. I offer him my shoulder, and Butch, Dick, and myself all move into the mountain, into a shroud of darkness and toward the city, emerging as before, on the other side. As we come through to the other side, a few citizens turn toward us and begin to greet us, but upon seeing that not only had Freddie joined us, but also my gradual recovery from an obvious gunshot wound, and the fact that we still have the supplies they gave us, they move towards us, demanding to know what had happened.

I told them all about what happened, the crowd growing larger and larger as more of them heard what was going on. I was certain the whole town must have accumulated, even recognizing Barkeep, Droplet and Bar Fly in the crowd, but no Ellie. A few of the Celestians surround Dick and welcome him back, going as far as to shake his hand upon learning how he saved us from the Overseer. I begin searching my backpack for the supplies they gave us to return them, but the gatekeeper stops me, shaking his head.

"Now now, what's that for? I believe we GAVE you those.", he says.

"Well...", I respond, about to tell him our dilemma, "We don't have a place to stay, and the supplies were for the vault, so... I was hoping we could maybe give these back and... ugh, we need a place to stay, I hate to ask." I remember the junkyard, but before I can say anything, he interrupts.

"Now you wait a minute, you're one of us. Your friends might not be Ponies, but they're more than welcome to stay, long as they mind themselves. and put those supplies back. You can stock your place with 'em."

"Wait... you already HAVE a place?", I assume not, but I will be very surprised if they do.

"Well, hold yourself, I'll have to go ask the mayor and see what she has to say, but I'll put a good word in for the stallion that killed Boss Nitro."

He chuckles, and I feel relieved knowing the ponies here already think highly of me. I was fighting for my life, and it all led to THIS strange turn of events. Come to think of it... This all started when the Overseer decided to let me out in hopes that I would find my own kind, and the beginning of all this was...

"Hey, before you go... no, never mind.", I want to make sure he doesn't make a useless attempt to ask. "It's something personal. I would be lookin for someone you never knew."

"Hey, I know about you and Ellie, She REALLY likes you, ya lucky fella.", I was gonna correct him, but he smiles from behind his thick moustache, and I feel too happy about his pleasant attitude to say anything.

"Alright, I'm gonna go make sure she's doin ok, Is there anywhere we can meet up later?", I ask him, "OOH, what's your name, btw?"

"Gatekeyper, pleased ta meetcha kid." He gives me that smile again, and holds out a hoof to shake.

"Your name is Gatekeeper?", I ask, astonished at the seeming lack of inspiration.

"Oh no, give me a moment...", and he picks up a piece of paper and a pencil, and holding the pencil in his mouth, he spells it out for me, I see it and finally understand the pun.

"Oh, cause you work with keys a lot?", I ask him, and he confirms that while showing me his err, "cutie mark"... I will DEFINITELY have to get used to everyone being so free with their bodies.

"Anyway, Ellie should be over by the honey shed, like usua-... Say, I don't think I noticed your eyes last time you were here..."

"Ugh, yes, I have a snake's eyes", I grit my teeth and grimace at the stallion, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, well... I don't mean no offense, pal, I was just thinkin you look similar to those subway fellas.", he leans in close and whispers into my ear, "I wouldn't want this goin any further, but I recommend you stay away. They ain't really dangerous, but if you're alone at night, and they get hungry... well, ya get the idea."

"Whoa! subway dwellers?", I can't help but blurt out.

He shakes his hooves as if warning me to keep my voice down, and turns around to go see the mayor, telling me to wear those shades I wore last time if I plan on drawing attention away from my eyes. I wave goodbye to Gatekeyper, still amazed at the coincidence presented by his name. Moving on, I put on the shades, and walk toward Ellie's little "Honey Shack". Sheesh, just that thought sounds too sweet. It makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it. As I come close to the field of flowers, I barely get a chance to lay eyes on her before she charges at me, yelling my name.

"Ohmycelestia! SNAKE!", I thought she was happy at first, but she pulls me into a tight hug and begins to gently touch around the bullet wound, demanding to know what happened. She looks absolutely horrified.

"Sorry Ellie, kinda got myself banged up. We tried to give 'em the supplies, but one of my so-called friends let another of our friends get eaten... Then when I called him out on it, his dad tried to bring us in and told us this whole plan was just so I would hopefully find more of my own kind. He shot at me when I pulled my own gun to protect ourselves.", I tell her the long and short of it.

"Wait, why would he want that? He's a HUMAN leader.", Ellie looks puzzled.

"Well, I'll give ya three guesses.", Immediately, her ears perk up, seeming to know what I mean given the amount of slavers and raiders all over the world. "Yeah, that's the idea. He thought I'd bring him more 'happy little workers'. Didn't even bother to realize I LIKED working with them. I was able to do a lot of different things, and I felt like they all cared about me."

"Then why would they treat you so badly?", she asks me, her ears lowering back down.

"Because, I guess trust isn't good enough for 'em, They need some kind of insurance or something.", as much as it pisses me off, I have to admit the entire vault was against me seemingly since day one. and I fell for it.

"Humans, they're all so horrible!", she looks at me with these sad, scared eyes.

"Now wait a second!", I start, trying to calm her down, "They're not all bad. Listen, Freddie's a good kid. He's always trying to make peace, and Butch has been my best friend since childhood.", She wipes away a few tears and speaks up.

"Really? You trust them?", she seems more concerned for MYSELF, what a sweetheart. I try to stop myself from giving a cheesy smile.

"Of course I do. I even trust Dick. He saved our lives down there, ya know? He smuggled dynamite into the vault in case things got scary, and boy did they!"

"Dynamite!? But... wait, what if that WASN'T the reason he brought the explosives?", she starts to look suspicious. I admit, that crossed my mind a few times, but I didn't want to believe it myself.

"Well, we spared him, and he saved us, so maybe this was some kind of test, like... say we both needed some kind of proof that we could trust each other.", I respond.

"I hope you're right, Snakey... I can't think of losing you now that we're... well...", I see her move her hoof closer to the wound, but stopping around it, and looking back up at me with those beautiful eyes. "Does it hurt, baby?", I blush and look away, too startled by her sudden tone of worry.

"Er... Yeah, but only a little. I'm a tough pony." I give a big grin, as if ignoring the pain to look tough in front of my marefriend.

"I don't care if you are, you didn't dress it properly. I know those stimpaks seem to work wonders, but you should at least pull the bullet out and bandage it up. Do you want some help?", she pulls me closer and points towards the shack, and as I agree, she pulls me towards it, and opens the door. "I have a medical bag in here SOMEWHERE, I don't wanna bother the doc right now, so we'll use these. Now, let's get that shirt off...", she says with a big smile while pulling out a par of tweezers, a bottle of vodka, and a roll of bandages. This is gonna hurt.

"Ahh road-apples..." is all I can say. I sit down and prepare for stinging as Ellie carefully pours a bit of vodka on a cloth, uses the tweezers to pull the bullet out, dabs the wound with said cloth, and then prepares to wrap my shoulder in the bandages, oddly enough, leaving a little bow to tie it up.

"Aaaaaaand THERE. Whaddya think? feel better?", she blushes as she looks up at me.

"Well, I LOOK better... I guess.", I say looking at the little ribbon.

"Well, I thought you could use a feminine touch. Whaddya think?", she asks, clearly proud of her handiwork.

"Alright, it's pretty damn cute.", I say with a grin. With that, she cranes her head a little, and gently kisses the spot she bandaged.

"Good. Now, you might wanna get back to Gatekeyper about that house. I dunno if we have any vacant spots, but the mayor would know for sure.", still listening, I get up, put on my jacket and my shades, and start to head out, with her saying one more time as I leave, "Snake... PLEASE stay with us if you can. I kinda like you, you know?"

I nod my head in agreement and leave the shack, thinking over how great it is to finally be out of that, what was the term?... "Roman holiday". Imagine, a whole family you were surrounded by since birth, turned traitor. Now... wait a minute... I don't know these Ponies from Adam... but why are they being so nice? Is it just because I'm a Pony myself? No... they trust Dick too, and he used to be one of those raiders. I'll let myself relax for now, but only until something else bucks up.

I walk towards what I can only assume is City Hall, at least, it's near the center, looks big and official, and more detailed than all the other buildings. less like a country town general store and more like a carving of one of those big marble ones. I head closer and open the door to see Gatekeyper putting up a bit of a fight with a receptionist, and I ask what the issue is, only to be told that the mayor is very busy, and I should take up the homeowning business with her instead, clearly with the intent of not budging. I start to say something, but he only continues to argue that they need to find a vacant spot, as all ponies should look out for each other, and this seems to convince her to lower her guard a bit.

"You know... perhaps I'm being too hasty. Who is this er... Pony anyways?, she asks him.

"This is the one everyone was talking about, Snakebit. He's the one who brought Ellie back from the raiders, killed their boss and reformed that Dick fella.", he proudly proclaims like I'm some hero for killing people.

"Oh my... This is the Snake?", she seems surprised. What on earth were they arguing about for so long if they didn't even get to the point?

"The name is Snakebit, pleased to meetcha." I extend a hoof towards her, and instead, she jumps to her own hooves and pulls me into a hug... Wow, these folks are either the nicest, or have no regards for personal space... Ah well, I decide, "When in Celestia", and hug her right back.

"YOU killed those raiders? I didn't think anyone could do it, much less one of our kind... Why did you do it?", I feel a bit confused, no Pony has ever killed someone before? This town must be well hidden, or it's citizens must be total pacifists.

"Well, I noticed their wagon was wiggling around, so I went to ask 'em what was in their cargo, and... well, they set their sights on us. Long story short, we survived, and one of 'em ain't so much of an plothole.", I say, eliciting a gasp due to my rather coarse language.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear about that, but I'm glad you're all safe and sound. I'm definitely glad you brought Ellie back safe and sound, such a sweet thing. Perhaps I could speak with the mayor about this, and see if we have any vacancies in town... I certainly hope so. You may very well be Celestia's first hero!"

Then it hits me... "HERO"? All I did was survive, and then let a few people out of a cage. It's something any decent person would do, IF they had the capacity to defend themselves in the first place. Is THAT what counts as a hero these days? If so, society is pretty bucked.

"A hero? You sure about that?", I ask her, and she nods before she leaves for the mayor's office.

I don't get to see the mayor, but once enough time passes, and I shoot the breeze with Gatekeyper a bit, learning of a few places to go, people to meet, and even something about asking to hear Bar Fly's war stories, whatever those may be, I see the receptionist emerge, telling me they DO have a spot of land open, but there's no house on it. beyond that, the mayor wants to hire us as scouts, watchmen, and town guards. Well, I guess this means we gotta build our own house. I should go tell the guys. I leave and head for the bar, expecting to see the rest of my fellow snakes, not at all surprised when there they are, right next to Bar Fly once again. It seems like they just started passing drinks around, each of them taking a swig after each time they speak. Nice to know some things aren't gonna change anytime soon. I walk to the table where they're all sitting and I join 'em, delivering the news.

"Hey guys, I hope you're excited to live in a secluded town full of Ponies, cause we have an open lot. All we gotta do is build the damn thing, and then we officially have a job as well.", I grab a seat and a mug of that cider. That stuff's starting to grow on me.

"Man, so we got more work on all sides, huh? This sucks.", Butch complains.

"Yeah, you're tellin' me, but it's work, a four room house, a bar and food, and citizens who ain't gonna attempt to enslave us... or we can go and try to scrape Mr. Mack off the floor...", I say grimly.

"Jesus, man!", Freddie looks disturbed by that comment, and a few of the Ponies look at me kind of strangely for that comment. I take a look around, then turn back to Freddie.

"Look bro, I don't like how things played out, but let's face it, all over the world, things are messed up. Raiders, slavers, and manipulative creeps like Mack, we should stick around, and make sure no one else'll buck with us.", I try to convince them, but Butch seems to have an issue.

"Hello? They want us to build our own place, AND they're tellin' us to protect 'em. Ain't THAT manipulation?", I'm a bit shocked at his perception, both sudden AND incorrect.

"Butch, you need to work to earn anything. and besides, they're hiring us to do something we're good at, seeing as we thrashed those raiders. and as for building, I'm SURE the Ponies here will happy to help if we ask em nicely, or we offer to trade with em, especially since we-"

"Shut up, ok? You ain't the leader of this gang, ok? And we ain't a bunch of goodie two-shoes. We need to worry about ourselves. Besides, Dick, what about your place?", Butch is starting to get on my nerves...

"Well, it doesn't have any food, and anyone can just show up and shoot us in the ass while we're sleepin', so do they math, Butch. This is a better idea.", Dick responds, and I'm happy he at least understands the merit of this decision.

"Man, what the hell... Freddie, do YOU feel like doin any fuckin' carpentry?", Butch has officially gone into his asshole mood. THIS will be fun...

"Well I dunno, but I don't have any real alternatives, so...", and Butch takes this as a sign that we've apparently gone off the deep end.

"MAN! You guys must be losin' it! We're TUNNEL SNAKES, not some loser security. We ESCAPED the security, remember those goons? Afraid to step outside, so they sent US to our deaths?", He starts ranting... Ranting? I guess he had more on his mind than I thought.

"Butch, man, calm down... We ain't stickin' around cause we HAVE to. We're doing this cause it's the best idea we have, and besides, we can always offer to leave town for supply runs." I think of something he just said, and I quickly add, "Besides, you weren't complaining about being sent to your death when you said you could handle anything thrown at you, right, man?"

"Motherf- Ya know what... I don't like it, but ya got a fuckin' point. Get this straight though, I'm not gonna be anyone's hero.", I decide to humor him and agree.

"No prob man, just let ME deal with the guardian stuff, alright?", Butch looks up at me, drunk and pestered.

"And another thing, if I hear "Tartar Sauce", or "Road-Apples", or "Bucking" out of you again, I'm gonna punch you in your dumb yellow eyes...", I think he's being a bit petulant, and maybe a bit racist... but he's my best friend, so I gotta do SOMETHING about him.

"Alright, I'll go back to "FUCK" and "SHIT" when I'm around you monkeys.", I say, shaking my head like I'm dealing with a child and he starts to laugh, for some reason.

"HAHAHAHA! What did I tell ya, Barkeep? This horse ALWAYS knows what to say... Fuckin' smartass...", He keeps laughing, slurring like a fool, with Freddie already easing back into his seat. I make a motion to Dick to keep an eye on them as I move to Barkeep and ask him how on Earth I'm gonna acquire the material to build a house.

He tells me I'm gonna have to talk to the workers in the orchard and convince them to part with some of their trees. Only problem will be the fact that the trees bear the apples that the Ponies eat. I ask if he has any ideas, and he tells me to try and tell them what exactly I'll do once I settle into town, and why I'd be a good friend to everyone here. Not useful... but a good friend. I wonder why he said that, it was oddly specific... I ask him if he has a cot for my drunk monkey, and he throws me a look at me as if I said something funny, but still a little mean, one of those guilty pleasure looks. Nonetheless, he offers the cot to Butch so I can go and see about the supplies without worrying about him. As I leave the bar, I see Dick attempt to join me. I'm not one to go without company, so I take him with me as we move towards the orchard. I suppose whatever comes next is child's play compared to what just happened.

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Tough Guy"

You ain't as tough as you look, but you sure as Tartarus inspire others to try and bring out their inner badass. And hey, if it DOESN'T work, you'll still look cool while ya bleed out on the pavement. You gain +5 DT for every companion in your party, and when your health falls below 50%, your party members gain +5 DT.

Chapter 10: The Green Gunpony

Chapter 10: The Green Gunpony

"I know who I am, and where I come from, but what I am... that's a bit tougher. One thing for sure, I'm NOT letting these people down. They're my FRIENDS."

As Dick and I continued towards the orchard, he started talking to me, partly about that argument at the bar, and partly to ask how on earth we're gonna build a house for four guys and a dog. I tried to reassure him it was indeed possible, the same way any of these other ponies built their houses, but I was bracing myself for the worst as well, I'll admit. I'm far better at fixing things that were already built, after all. I dunno how to build a house, but I sure as shit know someone around here should know.

"Hey Dick, I don't think you should worry. We'll be alright, we just have to get this house built and then we can relax."

"Ya think so?", Dick seemed convinced.

"Sure, and every time the Ponies want us to look around, we have an excuse to check out the wasteland, but let's just hope we don't meet many more raiders, ya know?", I say that jokingly, but despite that, I would like to meet less of those monsters.

"Well, there's something I oughta tell ya, buddy. There's not much worse than the raiders, but they're the ones who can think and plan. THEY are the true monsters, but there are some real nightmares. Ever see a deathclaw?", I stop for a second, and turn to face him.

"What's a deathclaw, Dick?", I ask, legitimately wanting to hear this horror story. He starts talking again, but motions for us to keep walking.

"The deathclaw is supposedly a hideous monster that dwells in the more deadly parts of the wasteland, supposedly some kinda mutated lizard. They're like TEN FEET tall, and each hand has five fingers, with foot-long claws on each one. That, and they got sharp teeth, and huge horns like a real demon, not to mention they run after ya like their cock is on fire.", Imagining this hideous abomination, the result of a freakish dragon breeding with Satan himself, I can't help but feel intrigued, excited, and scared all at once.

"Hehehe... Think we'll come across one? maybe we can tame it and let it follow us on a leash.", I say with a chuckle.

"Yeah, and maybe we'll find a magic gun that shoots beer, or I can teach Dogmeat how to shit caps.", Dick starts to laugh like a nut.

"Wait, caps? like a hat?", I ask, confused.

"No, no. Geez, how long have you BEEN here, man?", he asks me as if I'm an idiot.

"Dude, NOT long, ok? Now what are caps?", I get a bit testy as I answer him, but I am not about to have my intelligence insulted by Dick.

"Alright, alright, relax man. Caps are the bottle caps offa Nuka-Cola that people use as currency. You didn't notice?", He asks, and my mind flutters to a certain event...

"Wait a minute, we don't have bottle caps. How are we gonna pay our tabs at the bar?"

"Well, clearly we need to get some, right?", Dick looks at me and shrugs.

I put a hoof to my head, and sigh, exasperated with how despite only being best friend of the Tunnel Snakes' leader, I somehow find myself trying to organize everything. I urge Dick to move on as the trees are in plain view. Soon, we come across the aforementioned orchard, with several farming Ponies tending to the trees and apples. All we have to do is convince the locals to part with their trees so we can get started. I walk up to the main building, and I'm greeted by a rather chubby and rustic Pony who calls himself Caterpillar. I ask why, and he simply grabs a nearby apple and bites right into it, claiming he has no idea. I think I understand now. I tell him the news, that we need lumber to build our house on the vacant spot, and he goes outside to speak with the other farmers about the wood business. I take the time to look around, and I find several things around Caterpillar's desk. I find a basket with enough apples to choke a... I dunno what, but a large creature. I see a very decorative cider mug, and a bunch of crumpled up recipes for... apple jam of some sort, and a picture frame with several other ponies, all of them living together on a farm. I suppose this must have been a family business. Not soon afterwards, I hear the farmer come back in.

"Well buddy, no doubt we can part with some of the trees, but it'll cost ya for the work AND the loss of fruit.", he chomps another apple while he mentions this, and waits for me to answer.

"Well, what if WE do the work? We already have a house to build, and given the lot for sale, the help we might need, and the fact that we ain't got any caps... We might need to cut some corners. What do you think we should do? Do you have any experience building houses?", I ask him for his opinion on the matter.

"Well, hear me out kid, I DO have an idea. There are a lot of ruined houses out there, and the way I see it, the pieces of them ain't goin' anywhere, so maybe if we gather 'em up and uh, REPLANT 'em, so to speak, you could use whatcha got to build your place. We don't lose any trees, and you get free material. All we gotta do is go get 'em. ", He looks at me and waits.

"Well, that sounds like a good idea, but I doubt you're gonna wanna to come with us, right?", I ask him.

"Yeah, you'd be right, kiddo. We can give ya our wagon though.", he says.

"Well, we dunno how to ride one of those things, so what if one of you comes with us, and we protect you?", Caterpillar looks very nervous for a second, and responds, "Well uh... I dunno if that would be... well, you do need... Oh, alright, I suppose I can help."

"Alright, thanks man. Don't worry, we can kick the road-apples outta anyone who crosses us.", I try to instill a bit of confidence in the poor guy. I can appreciate the ponies living in isolation, but if they can't take care of themselves, that's definitely a problem.

"Well, I would rather not leave a mess, and kicking the road-apples out of a man sounds downright unpleasant..."

"No no, it's just a figure of speech. It means we'll beat 'em into the ground, ok?", I try to set him straight.

"Oh, well that sounds unnecessary. Couldn't we talk things out? Maybe invite 'em in for a mug of fresh cider?"

"Well, I suppose we could let them shoot us full of holes and drag our sorry asses off to be beasts of burden, or melted into adhesive too while we're at it...", I fight to resist hitting my face with my hoof at his suggestion, and I respond with a bit of a snappy comeback, even Dick seems surprised.

"OH, Celestia, don't even JOKE like that!", He nearly panics and covers his face with his hooves.

"Okay, OKAY... Geez, man, I'm here cause I'm NOT gonna let that happen. Calm down.", I reach over to the Pony's shoulders and try to calm him down. he seems a bit shocked at my gesture, but it works, as he uncovers his face and looks back at me, trying to compose himself.

"Alright, lemme bring ya to the wagon, and we'll get started. You gonna go and collect your friends, I assume?", he asks

"Dick, think you can wake the drunk tank? ", I ask Dick to go and pick up Butch and Freddie, and with a laugh, he hops to it.

I follow Caterpillar to the wagon he mentioned, and I see something pretty damn impressive as soon as I set foot into the shed where they keep them. It's a big, steel stallion, right in front of the wagon. It's on four legs, just like horses used to stand, and it seems to me powered by some unknown means. After I ask the farmer what exactly it is, he tells me it was created from spare parts long ago to haul the wagons, and powered by Unicorn magic itself. I feel compelled to ask him why it's on four legs... but I think I know why. Still, it's a huge pill to swallow. We were once a quadrupedal race of horses, and had we lived with the humans, we would have been subservient to them, pulling carts and carrying shit. THIS is why Miss Armstrong was so creepily possessive of me. I suddenly get a shiver up my spine and freeze in place. Caterpillar must have noticed, because he stops to ask what just happened. I brush it off and climb onto the wagon, getting my rifle ready as I wait for Dick and the others, but they never show up. I think about waiting around for them, but they'll probably be totally drunk at this point, not a good choice for an extra gun during a fight. I decide to move on without them for now.

The steel stallion starts up, paws at the ground, and trots forward like a real horse, and the wagon slowly starts rolling as it leaves town. Caterpillar waves for Gatekeyper to open the front gate, and we head out into the wasteland. We move outside of the mountain and out towards a ruined city I've not seen before as I point my rifle and take a look around. So much twisted steel and broken concrete everywhere. Sidewalks now smashed into pebbles, and houses blown apart, leaving nothing but the support beams and broken panels. If I were to venture a guess, THIS would be what we're looking to collect. It looks... not very promising, but well, this is a wasteland. What you see is what you get. I quickly scan for more threats, and look over to Caterpillar and ask about the steel stallion.

"Oh, the stallion? Yes, a highlight of our Unicorn engineering.", he answers, "You see, the Unicorns used to have a magic all their own, of course that all changed when our families found themselves here, among the Humans. We did our best to make them comfortable, and walk on two legs like they did, but that didn't work so well."

"And why is that?", I ask.

"Ya see, it took all the magic the unicorns had at that moment in time to change EVERY Equestrian being into a bipedal form. Basically, they made us all walk on two legs. Think about that, changing the skeleton of your entire race, and then about... seven or more other races."

"Holy shi-ummm... so all of the Unicorn magic went in to speeding up the evolutionary process?", I am completely bewildered by this.

"Well, I guess if that's whatcha call it."

"So why was it a mistake?", I absolutely need to know more about this.

"Well, the humans don't wanna live alongside Ponies... or Pegasi, or ANYONE for that matter. We welcomed 'em with open arms, and it seemed like all they did was push us away, or try to take advantage of our hospitality. Eventually they started treatin' us like pets, or servants of some sort. I even heard about a particular group trying to assault some of our younger mares.", I immediately sputter, thinking of the fucked up implications that brings.

"WHAT!? They did what!?"

"Yeah, ya heard me, boy. They tried to take 'em out for what was supposed to be a good time outside, but it turned into something rotten. All we have to go off of are what-ifs from that day. thank Celestia we heard her screams in time."

I feel rotten to the core. I cannot imagine any human who would do that, let alone to their own kind, but to another species? That's depraved. I think about it for a bit though... didn't Ellie have wings? What if two different species actually liked each other...

"Hey Caterpillar? What if two different types of ponies WANTED to mingle though?", I ask a bit cautiously.

"Hmm? two different types? Oh, are you talkin' about mixed-pony marriages? Those happen all the time. Ponies, Pegasi, Unicorns, we all have the Pony race inside of us. Tartarus, I've heard tell of a Pony who married a Yak too."

"A YAK? There are Yaks too?", I sound maybe a little too excited, but I MUST know who else I might meet. "What else is there?"

"Oh, Equestrians? Well, there were Minotaurs, Griffons, Seaponies, Changelings, those are like bug ponies, we got Zebras, Kirins, which are kinda like ancient Unicorns, Dragons, I mean there are so many different races of Equestria, but you'll be lucky to find half of em... I mean this world ain't necessarily the most friendly, let alone for our kind."

"Yeah...", I can only agree a little sadly. "Hey, so you said Unicorns used up their magic, right? ALL of it?"

"Well, that's a yes and a no. They were forced to evolve, like all of us, to match with the native races, and so they can still use it sometimes... I dunno how though, you'll have to ask one of 'em and find out. I'm just an apple farmer, brother. ", and with that, he threw his head back and laughed. "Hahaha, could you imagine, ME, makin' magic metal Ponies!"

"Well, yeah, you do look more like a farmer than a wizard. I suppose maybe ya grow the beard out, put on a fancy robe, go capture some goblins and make 'em your evil minions..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I like the sound of that! Dark Lord Caterpillar, they'll call me!", and again, he howls with laughter. I like him, perhaps unfit for actual danger, but he has a good sense of humor once ya get to know him.

"But you have to know, how do they use magic if they used it all?", I press just a bit, hoping he can at least recall this fact.

"Hmmm...", he begins rubbing his bristly chin in thought. "Maybe it was... AH! I remember now! Robin Steel told me all about it. She created the batteries for this thing. Ask her about the details, but alls I know is this... The Unicorns channel whatever magic they got left through their machines. Batteries, wires, whatever is in the machines made by a Unicorn is coursin' with as much magic as they woulda had in Equestria."

"Wow... So just by whipping something up in a garage, that THING would be full of magic?", I ask excited at the concept.

"Yep, that there is the long and short of it. I recommend talkin' to Robin later, she's a smart one.", Caterpillar repeats.

"Alright, thanks for the advice.", I say to him as he pulls the wagon over and twirls a hoof as if motioning for me to get out and follow him.

I hop out of the wagon and keep my rifle at the ready, as I watch him keep behind the dilapidated panels and peek around as if trying to look for trouble. I offer to scout ahead since I have the rifle, but urge him to get behind me. I step out from behind the panels, and all I see are a few fat, ugly four-legged things with big teeth. I ask Caterpillar, and he tells me they're called "Mole-People". I have trouble believing that, as they look more like the creatures as described by Wally and Freddie. I freeze in my tracks... mole rats... THESE little bastards killed my friend. Without thinking, I pull back the bolt in my rifle and aim for the rodent. Caterpillar tries to stop me, but I fire directly onto the creature, splattering it's brains and skull onto the surrounding rocks.

"Why did you do that!? He didn't hurt you! He's just an animal...", Caterpillar seems worried, but more for me than the creature I practically obliterated.

"What... what did I do? Buck... C-c-caterpillar? I need to... sit down for a second...", I feel a bit sick at first, then it hits me, I don't even know if these creatures killed Paul or not. Oh Celestia... Is the wasteland getting to me this easily?

"Snakebit, what is going on with you? I never saw anyone just kill a mole rat like that. What d'you have against mole rats?", He seems visibly disappointed, but my slumping towards the ground and feeling like I have to throw up is probably noticed by the poor farmer.

"I... I dunno. I might not have told ya, how we came here, but there's a reason. We kinda got into a fight with our families when they sent us out to collect stuff for the vault, and we came back home to find out not only did they use me to find other Ponies, but my so-called friend let my friend get eaten by those rats..."

"Good Celestia! That's outrageous! They punished that boy, didn't they?", inquired the chubster.

"Of course not. Overseer's son. They tried to push me and Butch into a cell, and DICK was the one who saved us... with dynamite may I add."

"Dy-da-da-da-DYNAMITE!? He brought Dynamite into a stable!?", Caterpillar panics and questions me... but that's some oddly specific wording.

"Uh, Cat... I didn't MENTION a stable, what's a stable?", I turn to him with a bewildered look in my eyes.

"Oh, well that's like what you were in, though why they let you in, I have no idea. Everypony from Equestria lived in underground shelters called 'stables', but when we found the Humans, they had already built similar structures called 'vaults'.", he kindly explains.

I am shocked. My heart skips a beat and my mind grasps at every possible answer... I cannot believe I was lost to my own race seemingly since birth. How in the hell did I end up in a Human dwelling when I belong with own kind? How was I separated? Didn't anyone want me?... I sit there, feeling so strange. I can't tell if it's hopelessness, or POINTLESSNESS. Before I can weep at this prospect, Caterpillar leans down and grabs my shoulder.

"Hey, hey buddy, wait a minute. You ain't just some kinda monster... You got mad, and ya overreacted. Just go and see if maybe you can uh... eat the poor thing, I suppose. Those human friends of yours will have some food for a while."

"It ain't that, I feel... well, LOST. Why was I with those scummy Humans? I was so ready to help 'em, JUST because they were my friends, and they screwed me, just like you guys. Only difference is, I didn't even get my real life. Tartarus, you could've been my DAD for all we know!"

His eyes go wide, seemingly from the shock of my statement, but I think he understands. He sits down beside me and pats me on the back.

"Izzat all ya want, boy, a FAMILY? Well, I'd say you succeeded, look at whatcha got. Ya got those boys of yours, Bar Fly and Barkeep seem to like ya, as does that sweet little beekeeper on the side of town, and I think you're alright. Look, why else would I bother helpin' ya, right?"

I hate to admit it, but this pudgy Pony who pilfers and perforates pomes has a point. I DO want this community, even if I feel estranged... like a misfit puzzle piece. I never fit in with Humans, so perhaps the Ponies will truly accept me. I get back up, nod in agreement with Caterpillar and go to wrap up what's left of the mole rat, fending others off with a stick until I finish the job, with Caterpillar beginning work on the scavenging, and myself joining him once I get back to the wagon. Through all the work we finished together, collecting beams, corrugated metal, and roofing materials, I seem to have forgotten I wanted to ask him one more thing...

"Hey Cat? I wanted to say something, but I think I forgot. Do yo- BANG! My thoughts were cut short by a bullet whizzing past my head and into one of the rundown buildings.

"OH SWEET CELESTIA! HELP!", he runs behind the wagon as I ready my rifle, and aim in the direction the shots are coming from. Of course, I see a raider with a rifle like mine. I could score that rifle and maybe Cat could use it, but there must be more around. Humans wouldn't fight alone, too risky. I look around harder, trying to stay out of sight, and I think I see a few more raiders hanging around a nearby building. Road-apples... I must've brought them down on us with the noise. I try to think of something... He's using a scope! I grab a piece of metal, bend it, and aim it at the sun, trying to wiggle it around until I see him fumble, and I take a shot, just barely hitting him in the neck. I have had enough of raiders, I jump out of the wagon and shout to the others.

"HEY! You fuckers wanna get over here and fight like MEN!? C'mere and get ready to die!"

"What do you think you're doing!?", I see Cat look up at me and freak out.

"I'm taking care of the problem. Your job is to wait until it's over. DO IT." I stand out, hands in the air like a bucking cowboy out of an old western drama. I pictured myself in an armored suit with some kind of laser cannon... but this feels so right for the moment. My sharpshooter hovers just above my pistol, and I wait...

I see the raiders rush out at me, holding up their weapons, and making stupid demands as if I have any intention of negotiating... Given the mole rat I wasted earlier, these road-apples are nothing. The fact that they still stand is a testament to my generosity... isn't it? I sound horrible right now. I'd better just get this over with.

"Gimme a reason not to kill you right now, raider scum...", I shake with indignation, but I stand firm in their path.

"The fuck did you just say to me, horsey? Look at this weirdo, I'd be doin him a favor if I put a bullet in his-" SQUELCH! The ugly bastard's body dropped, due to a sudden case of a "splitting headache". The other one turns at me with wide eyes as if he didn't see the shot coming. Likely as not since I fired using SATS. I look at him and ask...

"Ok, if you can tell me in ONE sentence why I should let you live, I will CONSIDER it.", he looked sick, and he was about to break down.

"Uh... I was only doin it cause I needed to survive?", he finally says.

"Hmmm... not good enough.", I draw the weapon, and he panics like a kid, begging for his life. I can't trust him, can I? Imagine letting every murderer, slaver, or rapist go... eventually, one of them will take you down as soon as you try to help them.

"No! No no, wait! STOP! I'm sorry! I'll go away, I promise, just... Just don't shoot...", I start to hesitate, but out of the corner of my eye, I see something that makes my blood freeze... another sniper at a nearby window. BUCK.

"You sneaky son of a bitch! DIVE!" I call out to Cat, and he ducks behind the wagon, and as I slide my rifle over to him, I thrust my hoof into the face of that sneaky bucker who dared to play on my sympathies, and as the next loud BANG! rings out, I run towards the sniper, ducking behind a rock as soon as I hear what sounds like the click of the bolt. My heart is officially attacking, as I will soon... as soon as I figure out how to take out the sniper... I start to sweat all over as I try to peer over the piece of rubble I'm hiding behind. Man, I wish I knew what to do. All of a sudden, I hear another BANG! and I see another shot, but it isn't from him... it's from MY direction. That farmer tried to snipe the sniper. as he fires at Caterpillar, I see him already ducking again, so I run towards the building and duck inside. If I'm lucky, this bucker didn't even see me coming.

I have to be QUIET, and most importantly, hurry. I don't want Cat's ass getting shot off before I take out the crazed gunman. I have goosebumps all over my body as I walk up the stairs, supposedly sneaking up on him. I pass over old garbage, discarded ammo shells, and on the next floor, there he is. leaning towards the window with a high-powered rifle, even stronger than my own... Time to wreck his plot, but I see Cat out of the corner of my eyes, and I draw my pistol and decide to draw his attention.

"Hey fuckhead!", I shout as he fumbles his rifle, mumbling and spazzing out, probably chemmed out of his mind.

"Whoa whuh-what?... How did you? I was... I'll kill YOU, horse boy!", His delusions make me want to laugh.

"NOPE.", I shoot his rifle in the barrel, and aim for his head, with him raising his hands, "The next one'll turn ya to mole rat chow."

"No... n-no, NO mole rat chow... Look, whatever you had with those guys, I don't want any of it..."

"BULLSHIT!", I find myself uttering my old human swears from time to time... I must be getting angry... "You all say that once I've got your face behind the barrel, but you never think twice to attack my people. I would ask ya to stop, but ya won't listen. Know what that means?", He looks so sick right now. His face is pale, and he can barely swallow his own spit.

"Please don't kill me... I'm sorry, man. When you're in the middle of nowhere, and no one will help, then you start doin stupid shit, ya know? You're on chems anytime ya have 'em... cause ya just don't wanna feel the pain. and then ya wind up hurting people, and ya don't even remember it, not till you're done eatin', and ya feel like shit. I haven't slept in days, man. It's why they made me the sniper!"

"I'd believe you, but your little shit-stain of a friend tried the sob-story act on us. I smashed his face as soon as you fired on us, you opportunistic bastard."

"I WAS SCARED!", he's crying now... what the buck? "I'm SORRY, ok? I didn't want you to kill me like you killed my boys, so I tried to take a few potshots at you. Then your fat friend was-", I point my pistol at him a bit as if to correct him. "Whoa, ok, your 'slightly chubby' friend started shooting back, so I had to up my game a bit. I was on jet the whole time anyway... not like I'm an expert or anything."

"What do you plan on doing if I DO let you go?", I question him. "Of course I need you and your chemmie friends out of my face, but you attacked us, and we need some help, so I reckon you could help us out."

"What? Th-tha-that's all you want? You're not gonna waste us and take our shit?"

"What shit do YOU have that I possibly need, bucko?", I point the gun to the wagon, showing him the materials we were busy collecting. "I'm about to have a house and friends, but I need to build it first. All I need are the pieces. Wanna help me out?"

"Shit, man... if that's all ya want, we can break stuff easily. Lemme see what you're workin' with.", and he slowly gets up, throws the rifle aside, and shows me a pistol he was carrying. "It's all good, I ain't gonna shoot ya."

"Give it here, or the deal's off.", I hold out my hand, motioning for him to hand it over, which he does. "Your scummy friend have anything on him?", I lead him outside and we pass by his fallen comrade.

"Just a lead pipe, some chips, probably a broken nose.", I roll my eyes at his attempt at humor after their attempt on our lives.

"Now ain't the best time, clown. You still tried to kill us. I recommend you make the most of this and NEVER cross us again. If I see you and your specific little band of losers around again, I'll pop that head like a melon.", again, he makes little sicky noises and edges away from me. "Now, wake up your friend and tell him you're gonna help us collect panels and support beams... Oh, and a DOOR, that's very important." He turns away and tries to wake up his friend, who rises from his forced sleep, but clenches his nose and responds to our continued existence with a certain amount of hostility.

"Oy! This fucker broke my nose! and he shot two of our guys!"

"Do you even remember their names, ya buckin' tweaker?", I shout directly at this mouthy twerp. I can see Cat is getting uncomfortable, which reminds me, I better thank him for covering me earlier. "Look, You tried to trick me, and your friends tried to kill me. They're DEAD now. Wanna join em?"

"You're all talk, you ain't gonna do jack shit, Pony! I know your kind, all about friendship and love, it's why we OWNED your asses before!"... No sooner do these words leave his cesspool of a mouth than I open fire right at his kneecap. "AH! FUCK! WHY would you do that!?"

"I'm not your special little friend, MONKEY. I was raised with YOUR kind, those selfish apes who tried to pull the same shit on me. Well, no use fighting it. I tried, but you just signed your death warrant. You there, don't interfere, or I'll assume you deserve the same." and with that I lift the raider over my shoulder and carry him to the spot where I shot the mole rat. Seeing this, he understandably panics... but I have run out of mercy for the day, and I drop him right in the middle of that spot.

"Wait, you can't just do this! I don't wanna be mole rat feed either!", he has the NERVE to plead for his life now, really? After all he put me and Caterpillar through?

"Listen to me, you little bastard. Me and my friend came out here to find building materials so me and my friends would have a place to live. You seem to be well protected in this little ruined city you've got. You might as well settle down, but here you are, attacking us, for what? We have NOTHING with us. The fact that I haven't killed you already is more than you deserve. At least your friend offered to help... What about you?", I feel something coming over me again, like I usually feel when I'm trying to actually reach out to someone through my words.

"Look man, do you have a stimpak or something? I know they're rare, but... I can help, I promise... and for real this time!", I draw my pistol first and then reach into my bag to grab a stimpak.

"If you fuck up one more time, I'm capping you again, and I'll let the mole rats have ya. They deserve to eat more than you do.", he takes the stimpak, gets to his feet, and walks towards the wagon, a bit wary, but as soon as he reaches his raider friend, he starts talking, and they agree to help us sort through the debris.

After the work, I decide to share a bit of the water I brought with me, and they take to it. A few more hours pass, and I hitch up the wagon and start up the steel stallion to head back with the supplies, taking the raider's rifle with me, reasoning that it's useless until it's fixed. I can't look into the future and see what the consequences are of what I did for those hooligans, but for now, I try to justify what I've done. Humans are like kids. They're going to screw up eventually and they need someone who can set an example... even if they REALLY don't want to. I could have killed them, I could have taken what they had, but I guess it just felt too easy. They wouldn't learn anything. All I know is, if they're not completely inept, they'll know to stay away from us.

As the wagon pulled away, the two raiders kept a safe distance and began to talk with each other.

"So uh, whaddya think we should do now?", the dumb one said to the sniper.

"Well, He kept his promise. Maybe we should do the same... I'd feel better about it in the morning, and I think you would too."

"Yeah but... I wish we got something out of all our trouble today.", The sniper looked at him like he'd just crossed the line.

"Man, stop bein stupid. We tried to kill those guys and they DIDN'T kill us, what more're ya askin' for?", the dumb one looked around, but saw nothing except...

The green Pony, having spared two hapless criminals, left in such a good mood that he didn't notice something. A few feet away, near the same spot where he killed that mole rat, was the emaciated body of a young man in a vault suit and a leather jacket. A jacket exactly like the one he wore. The dumb raider removed the tattered jacket, and left the corpse to rot.

"Dude, check this out! Think he'll want this?", the dumb one asked.

"Ugh, no! It's been peeled off a fuckin dead guy.", the sniper responded pretty angrily.

"No, but look... The symbol on the back. It has the same symbol. This snake thingy. What was that gang out west in New California?"

"Awwww shit. That pony was a VIPER!? I told ya he was trouble, man!"

"If he is, he probably wants this back, don't he? If this guy was one of his boys...", the dumb one suggested.

"Well... I guess maybe he might. He told us to stay away, but maybe if we bring the jacket, he won't waste us."

"I dunno... he didn't seem like he was THAT scary, but if you say so, let's bring it to him."

"Man, keep your mouth shut and maybe you'll live through this." and the sniper punched his comrade in the back of the head, taking the jacket. Together, they followed Caterpillar's wagon, staying out of view... for the moment.

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Lone Gunpony"

Make a move, hombre. I got six ways to kill you dead... or maybe as many as are actually in the magazine. Either way, as long as you have a pistol equipped, you can equip a second one, and you draw them 25% faster. Speaking of which, if you DO want two pistols, make sure you have two hands...

Chapter 6: Honey Trap... It's NOT What Ya Think!

Chapter 6: Honey Trap... It's NOT What Ya Think!

"I've never met another pony before, but I can sure as hell say I've never met a pony like you either."

I wake up to the sound of everyone getting up. I really wanna get back to sleep, but I know what we have to do. The vault still needs food. It needs medical supplies, like the ones we found, and it needs water, even if we have a purifier and we're supposed to be stocked until the supposed "end of time"... I'm going to ask Mr. Mack about this when we return. I guess I should get up-ugh! Butch nudging you with his boot, like there was no better way to rouse someone from sleep. I begrudgingly get up and check on Dick. Walking towards his sleeping bag, I see his dog still curled up and sleeping, but Dick is putting out the campfire, with a somewhat uneasy look on his face. I move over to him and talk to him. Again, I get the feeling like talking to him might yield some results.

"Hey Dick, are you feeling alright, man?"

He looks a bit distracted as he answers "Uh... yeah, I'm doin' okay, how 'bout you?"

"I'm fine, Dick, it's you I'm worried about.", I respond, and his expression starts to change, as if he's angry or offended.

"Oh look, the horse-boy is worried, how sweet.", I get a bit angry, but more confused than anything. Raising an eyebrow and adopting a suspicious attitude, I fire back...

"Okay, no need to be rude. I dunno what you're so nervous about, but you don't have to take it out on us, do ya?"

This shocks him a bit, and he can't think of anything to say. I tap his shoulder, and he jumps a bit, so I call Butch over and ask if there's something he'd like to talk to us about, and he says something surprising.

"Well, there is, but I dunno what's going to happen until it does, so... can you just trust me until then? I've always had a weird sense that something bad was always gonna happen. So... I do what I can to prepare for those moments. Can ya trust me?"

"No fuckin' way, I knew he was plotting something.", Butch is PISSED.

I push my hoof to Dick's chest and push him towards a discarded car's husk. I do not plan on being fucked over by someone we spared strictly out of humanity, or is it... "Equestrianity"? God, er "Celestia" knows Butch wouldn't have spared him if it weren't for me. Either way, I had better get this story from the little scrub. Wow, Equestrians are extremely different from humans, even down to a basic knowledge of friendship. I can't be this distracted. I know what i need to do. I need to find more Equestrians. I release Dick and let him get back on his feet, my hoof still at the ready.

"Dick, you can trust us, so thinking you can't after we've already let you stick around is a stupid mistake, but whether or not we can trust YOU is still up for debate, so you'd better give us some proof, get it?"

"I got it... sorry man. look, ya want me to show you somethin' as a sign of good faith?" Well, that surprised me. More gifts to give? While I'm happy to hear it, and apparently so is Butch, already on his way and following him towards the husk of the bus, this doesn't sit well with me. Why does he have so many weapons in different spots? Why does he supposedly know places to find supplies... I'm beginning to think EVERYONE is lying to me. Is this what this world did to people? Is THIS what made them fry each other with giant fireballs? Fuck...

I follow the guys to the broken down bus, and I see Butch pull out 2 sticks of dynamite and a few boxes of various ammo, handing me the shells. I grab the double barrel I stowed away and realize that by holding it with 1 hoof and firing it with my sharpshooter, I can actually use this thing. I waste no time pumping the damn thing full of shells, and i sling it over my shoulder, ready for emergency fire. I pull out my new pistol and ask Butch if he has any extra 10mm ammo, and as he tosses a box over, I store that in my side pocket, ready to reload the Broadsider if need be. I round them up and move towards the junkyard's entrance, ready to leave. We wave goodbye to Dick's dog, and we continue forward, I tell em where we're headed.

"That town Ellie told us about. I think she was tellin' the truth. She has no reason to lie to her heroes, right?"

Butch pipes up, "Dude, we ain't heroes, we're a GANG. Tunnel Snakes rule, remember?"

"Yeah, I suppose..." I start to feel a bit distant, has Butch always been this selfish? I have an idea, convince him being a hero is profitable. "... but Butch, we can keep helping others if they give us stuff, right?"

"Yeah, right, like mercenaries or some shit!" He gives a wide grin, and keeps walking, and Dick walks up to me.

"Hey Snakebit?", I turn and look at him before he continues, "I uh... I know you don't trust me yet, but I want you to know something. I like you guys, and not just cause ya spared me. I never wanted to be a slaver, and now you guys are giving me a chance to do something different. T-thanks for that. If the ponies think badly of me, will you vouch for me?"

"Yeah, but only a little." I point my hoof at his chest, as if in warning. "I want you to do your best on your own, and show em you ain't fucked up like the rest of those assholes. If you can convince them, you can convince us." I give him a smile, more crafty than reassuring, but I hope he understands my plan. I want him to be able to convince everyone, not just me.

A while passes, with us following in the direction of the same destination that Ellie put on our map. We don't see anything for quite some time, until we come across a mountain right there, in the spot on the map we should have found the city in. This is different, as we've seen dead trees, broken down cars, rotted and collapsed houses, but not many mountains. I notice the guys start to argue, as Butch even accuses me of leading them in the wrong direction. I even blatantly show him the icon on the map. There it was, as plain as my horse-like features... "Celestia", they must have named it after their goddess. They must have really loved her a lot, I think while smiling to myself.

I look at the enormous mountain and I can't help but feel like something is up. There should be a city here. I walk up to a section of rock and attempt to knock on it, but my hand phases right through it. This is insane! I move my hoof through it again, and I reach my hand in even further. This is a trick... It must be. A setup to prevent slavers and raiders from finding this place.

"Hey guys, look!" Butch and Dick stop fighting for 5 minutes to look in my direction, and while initially puzzled and wondering what exactly they're looking at, their expressions gradually change from frightened at my sudden lack of an arm to perplexed upon realizing WHY it's missing. "Check it out... a holographic mountain to conceal whatever is BEHIND it?"

"Aww, no way!" Butch looks at it in complete disbelief. "How would they even...?"

"Ya know, some Equestrians can use magic, I know that goddess of theirs could! If you see any horse with a horn, they can use magic, I've seen it!", Dick suddenly spouts.

"Magic? That's bullshit. There ain't such a thing, is there?", Butch inquires, getting dubious.

"No way, man! It's REAL, I've worked with em. Or at least, whatever they do with their horns, they call it magic. They tried to um... Well, they tried to make shields, mental spells, throw things with telekinesis, We had to put these iron rings on their horns. It was pretty impressive."

"Wow... Ponies are friggin' awesome!", I say with a loud laugh. "I cannot wait to see this!"

I walk into the hologram, despite the protests of the guys, and I keep going, and soon enough, a beam of light breaks past the huge wave of darkness I was just wading through... I look past it and see something that blows my mind. I see what looks like a small town, kinda like the ones in history books. Something is different, the whole place is teeming with trees, vegetation, and even flowers... How in the hell do these ponies have FLOWERS? This is blowing my mind. under this mountain, under everyone's nose, is a little city, thriving with survivors, and a blue sky. And what looks like a tiny ball of fire floating above it all. I can barely see the sun outside through all the dark clouds, but this "sun" looks just like the one this earth used to have. If ponies are capable of magic, THIS is the result, I'll bet.

I hear 2 voices call after me, and I look back, telling them to follow my voice until they see a light. They do as I instructed, and eventually they freeze on the spot, gaping at the same sight I was just stunned by. Butch doesn't say anything, he just looks around, a mixture of shock and curiosity on his face. Dick is surprisingly quiet, and he doesn't look upon it with the same awe that we have. I think he's seen a place like this before. I break the silence, suggesting we all walk into the town, signaling the guys to follow until Dick speaks up.

"Hey Snake, mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure.", I answer back, trying to listen while I walk.

"Well, I don't think the ponies are gonna wanna see me here... You do remember where you found me, yeah?", He looks so guilty for a guy who was forced into his line of work. I bet he actually feels ashamed of what he's done. It's a good thing we spared him.

"Dick, try not to worry. If Ellie made it back here, then she'll vouch for me, and if I vouch for you, that should be enough. Now, where do we go from here?", I respond to him, trying to reassure him while moving forward.

"I'm grabbin a friggin drink!" Butch answers, as Dick responds with a resounding positive to that suggestion.

I tell them ONE thing I plan on doing. "I want to find Ellie.", I walk away, trusting them to somehow know where everything is, as I go look for anyone who might know where I can find a very strange stallion named "Ellie". I walk all around the beautiful town, passing decent looking shops and buildings out of a pioneer-esque setting. Wooden buildings, wonderfully upkept, fields of apples and carrots, flowers surrounding almost every section of the town, stores, a town hall right in the center, and a wagon by a trading post at the front with a... two-headed cow!?

I dash towards the trading post and look around, but I don't see Ellie anywhere. I try to find someone to talk to, and I come across the owner of the trading post, a tall, dark purple pony with a horn and a long black mane. He tells me that there IS someone named Ellie, but she's not really a trader in this town, she merely left town to trade flowers and honey to other cities, but ran into some trouble with slavers. Apparently, someone took the time out of his day to save her and the other captives they had with them. I blush a little bit, but I don't want to make a big scene, so I just ask him if he knows where he is. He tells me that she doesn't like being called a he, which baffles me. I saw the thing dangling between HER legs. Whatever, I just want to see him again. He tells me she has a spot south of the gardens where she grows flowers and takes care of bees. I didn't know they had bees in this hellhole.

I head in that direction and eventually come across a great field of flowers with a shack in the middle of a garden of sunflowers. Next to the shack is a row of beehives surrounded by a swarm of.... buzzing things. little bug creatures that fly around while making a buzzing noise. I've never seen these kinds of bugs before. I walk into the middle of them and hold out a hoof and hold a few of them. This is my first mistake however as soon I hear a loud "HEY!" and one of them stings me. I pull back my hoof and the other bugs fly away towards the hives. I look over towards the voice, but It turns out the beekeeper is exactly who I'm looking for.

"Ellie!?" I shout excitedly, completely forgetting the sting on my hoof, and I run over towards the beekeeper.

"Snake! C'mere, gimme a hug!" Ellie runs right into me and snuggles me as close as he can. "It's so good to see you! Did you come back to have some fun?" He says this last part with a naughty inflection in his voice. I am officially addicted to that tone of voice from this "mare".

"Well yeah, I suppose I did, but I wanted to talk to you too... I mean, this is my first time surrounded by my own ra-AH!" Before I could finish my sentence, I'm grabbed by my sore hoof and pulled into the garden shack. Ellie reaches for a jar of honey and begins to rub it on the spot where I was stung. it stings a little at first, but it starts to numb a little bit.

"Honey's very useful, especially in this dump. It's very filling, doesn't spoil, and it even has antiseptic and anesthetic properties." He gives me a big grin, It's weird, but so goddamn cute...

"Any chance I could get some for the vault!? The whole reason we're out here is because we're running low on foo-" He stops me once again.

"Let's talk business later, you dork." Dammit, why is she- er... HE acting like this? "I can show you another use for honey, if ya want."

I roll my eyes at her impatience. "Fine, but nix the honey... how does this work between two um...", I see her look at me, almost hurt by what she knows I'm about to say. "...between a stallion and such a LOVELY mare?"

"Let me start.", Ellie says as she unzips my jeans. She stares in excitement, her mouth closed, as I'm certain she doesn't want to look TOO excited. Hey eyes betray her when she pulls down my jeans along with my underwear to find... my little friend. "Whoa! Look at those... er I mean uh, not bad at all.", and she blushes profusely while flashing a toothy grin.

"Hehe, you like what ya see, huh? They don't call us "Tunnel Snakes" for nothin', ya know?", I smile back at her and thrust my hips out a little bit, with some unknown confidence I must have picked up from her startled eyes.

"Naughty, naughty...", Ellie places a hoof on, wow, on the tip of my member, right where it'll start to grow. "... I didn't say you could stuff my face just yet." What is this mare doing? I groan a bit as her hoof traces my quickly growing package, and it starts to grow, bigger and bigger, extending towards her freckled snout, and in an instant, she kisses the head of my erect cock right there and starts licking all around it... FUCK, it feels amazing.

"Oh GOD, that feels amazing! Keep doing that."

"Oh what? playing with your snake?" I see her as she lets my cock settle on her face. It falls over one of her eyes, starts to leak a little bit of precum onto her hair, and she makes a hungry move towards my balls. I watch as she holds and fondles them in her hoof, somehow holding onto both of them, and... placing one in her MOUTH. Nothing else feels this amazing. When she stops sucking on them, I reach my right hand to the side of her head, trying to bring her back, but she removes it, and speaks up. "Uh-uh, I wanna make sure you get to the good part."

"The GOOD part?", I almost shout it in disbelief, "What could be better than that?" I would normally have a few ideas, but that felt so good that I'm momentarily left in the dark. Ellie responds by placing her snout to the tip of my cock, giving a brief sniff, and upon opening her mouth in satisfaction, somehow engulfing the first half of my member into her throat. God... so warm and wet... all around me. I feel like I'm about to blow my load already, but I have to keep my head. I know what's going on in Ellie's mind... I THINK. She wants me to put it in her ass. I manage to hold on after she sinks the rest of my entire cock into her mouth, and then her throat. I feel it twitch all around me as her tongue licks all around the underside, her hoof still massaging my testicles.

I feel squishing sounds and a surprised grunt from Ellie, and immediately, she slowly pulls my cock out of her mouth. Did I cum already? No time for the "good part"? She wipes what looks like little drops of precum off of my cock.

"Oooh... lasted this long already, huh? Good." I'm not thinking. On instinct, I reach down and pull down Ellie's top, to be greeted by a cute, flat chest. "Goodness! You can't just flash my boobs like that. I'm a VERY sensitive mare." She looks away for a moment and blushes a very deep red. I don't know why I expected a pair of tits, but this is not a problem, seeing how she reacted. I reach down and start running my hoof over her nipples, and she starts wriggling and laughing. "St-stop! Stop it!", she manages to let out between fits of giggles. I even notice her wings extend, her feathers fanning out as she gets excited. Pegasi are some very interesting creatures.

"Oh come on, you're so adorable right now." I blush while I give her the biggest smile, matching hers to a t.

"No... I was supposed to tease you. I was supposed to make you squirm and go off early, but you're just as good as I am. Do you uh...", she looks me dead in the eyes and places my hoof on her nipple before continuing. "... want to buck me in the ass?" She gets up, turns around, and walks over to her shack, shaking her big butt at me. Fuck, I am so turned on right now... I step over slowly, my cock still standing firm like a tree branch. She points towards her pants and practically orders me to take them off. I grab the waist and pull them down so slowly. As they drop, I see her flanks, so round and thick, poking right out over the top of the waistband. God, she still has no cutie mark. I reach out to touch her flank with my hoof to see if she covered it, but I'm greeted with a soft, squishy and plush cheek underhoof. I hear a bit of giggling, and a "Hurry up!" from Ellie, so I get back to her pants, and pull them down the rest of the way. Immediately greeting my face is a set of testicles, tiny and round, right between that juicy ass and the same small cock, now erect, that was such a shock to me. It's erect now, and just about the length of my hoof's center. I wonder...

"Nyaaaaaaah! No!", Ellie screams excitedly as I grab her cock with my right hand, and start rubbing it up and down. She is so ticklish, I see why she's so flirty, but seems to dislike being touched. I grab her balls too and squeeze them a bit, leading to many gasps and adorable little moans. "Stop it... just buck my ass already..." She sounds desperate. I can't help it, I want to please her.

"Ok, bend that ass over and let's do it."

"Nuh-uh, in the shack.", she walks inside and gets down on all fours... Holy shit, this will be kinky. She gets down on her slender belly and props her ass up in the air. What did I do to deserve something this perfect? "I wanna make sure you hit the spot", she tells me. I WILL hit that spot! She points at a tube of lubricant she keeps on a shelf, probably wanting me to use it. I squeeze the tube onto her behind and spread it around her cute little asshole. I see it finally, cute and puckered, twitching around at the touch as if waiting for my cock to break into it. I get behind Ellie's perfect ass and tell her to brace herself. This is going to be HOT.

I line my member, swollen and ready, up with her perfect asshole, lubed and prepared, and plunge it as far in as I can. I hear nothing at first, but feel such a tight, warm sensation all around my cock, as if it's being gripped and drained of everything I still haven't fired off, after reawakening from what felt like a trance, I hear Ellie. She's squeaking, moaning, gasping, and trying to lean into me. I think I might be doing it... I'm hitting that spot. I grab her perfect behind and shove my dick inside of her as far as I can, hearing her whimper and pant with every thrust.

"Ellie, this feels amazing!", I shout as I continue to plow her tight ass.

"CELESTIA, YES! CUM INSIDE ME!" I freeze on the spot, that's enough of a signal for me. I tense up, shove myself in yet again, and release a massive wave of cum inside of her tight hole. I feel her insides flood, and I hear her comment, "So warm..." and "My tummy..." As I pull myself outside of her ravaged booty, she collapses, unable to hold herself up any longer. I decide I'm spent myself, and I pull a nearby blanket over the both of us before snuggling beside her. Laying beside a cute trap pony. I could DEFINITELY wait until tomorrow to ask about Equestria and food supplies.

Leveled Up. Perk Selected.

"Yellow Jacket"

You float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, with a 10% increase in running speed, bonus poison damage to all one-handed melee weapons, and a restoration bonus when eating flowers or honey. No, the yellow stain on your jacket is not a perk, try to wash that thing every once in a while.