This Flame Burning Deep Within
I stared directly into those eyes. Those perfect, little pony eyes. I hated them. There was not a single damn part of my body that didn’t seeth when I peered into them. Her gaze steeled as she returned my gaze, yet I went unfazed. I did not fear what was to come, I loved it instead. I worshiped it, I demanded it, I needed it.
I channeled my magic, and her in return. Here it comes, my destiny, my sweet desire. Casting a beam of arcane might I connected with one of her own, our magic struggling to overcome each other.
“Come on, Celestia! Show me something worth my time! There’s no going back now, so let it all out!” I screamed to her over the overwhelming cacophony that resinated from our arcane blasts.
She must have heard me, because it suddenly became much harder to overpower her pitiful attempt at blasting me. Good, good. This is what I craved, this is what I must obtain. This sensation, this deep fire burning within… it powered my desire to destroy, maim and kill.
I felt my horn vibrate with such fury it even took me by surprise. At that moment my beam started to push towards her, inch by delectable inch.
I saw her features weaken, her knees shaking from my unlimited power! Though, it was much too soon for this to end. This needed to last longer. I am not through picking the wings off this butterfly.
As my beam connected to her skull, I felt the power surging through me vanish within an instant. She was lying there on the ground pitifully. Though, unlike before, I saw her muster the will to slowly stand up again, her gaze even more steely than before.
Excellent, she knows this is far from over.
“What are you even—” She coughed, sputtering from the blow from before. Grunting, she got the pain out of her system. “What are you even seeking to gain her, Chrysalis! Your hive is gone, your race wiped from this world. Surrender now, and your sentence will be swift and easy.”
“Pfft. Please, princess, as if I’d ever allow myself to submit myself to you in any way.” I scoffed. “No, what we have going here in the pits of Tartarus… is something special.”
“You’re a twisted creature that should have never come into being…”
I felt my temper rising. “Don’t you see it! Don’t you understand! I loathe you! I hate every last bit of your being… Celestia, it is not within me to ever stop fighting you, here and now. And you know what, I know you feel it too. You want to squash me for the bug I am, and the best part is, I want you to. Come at me with everything you’ve got.”
I took a fighting stance.
“I’m prepared to end you, even if it costs me my life...”
I saw her sigh. “So be it.”
I didn’t even get the chance to blink before she charged me. Unprepared, I quickly dug my hooves into the dirt, our horns connecting with a resounding ‘thud’ as we began battle once more. She pushed hard against me, but I wasn’t about to let her take the upper hoof. I gritted my teeth, planting a hoof forward, pushing her back slightly.
“Y-You’re gonna—” A grunt forced its way out of me. “Have to try a little harder than that!”
Upon my demand, her resolve seemed to deepen, and I found myself on the defense once again. She slowly kept pushing me back, my hooves fighting to hold their ground. She was finally starting to take this seriously.
“I’m a, grrr, a queen! Stop toying with me!”
I got what I asked for. Her horn flared, mine starting to feel a white hot pain as it too was enveloped in her glowing radiance. The next second I found myself face first in the dirt, spitting out blood from my torn lip. I smiled and then looked up to see Celestia staring down at me, a sneer across her features.
“Is this truly what you want, Chrysalis?”
Of course it is…”
I stood up on shaking knees, struggling to find my center of balance. “Celestia, there is nothing more I crave than a feeling…”
She looked puzzled. “What do you mean?” Her words were to the point. I would expect nothing less from her.
“Changelings are attuned to the emotions of every creature in Equestria. Love, happiness, sadness, and for me… hatred!” I charged her this time, my horn aimed for her neck. I felt it sink it into flesh, warm, oozing blood trickling down it to meet my bloody lips. The mixture of our essence tasted divine, as I licked it from my face.
Suddenly, a force smashed down onto my neck, pushing my horn from its fleshy home and knocking me back down to the ground once more. Moaning in pain, I looked up again to see I missed my target, and only managed to hit the princess’ shoulder. Seemes her reflexes were quite well-honed for one her size.
“Even so, Chrysalis. Every creature has it within them to do good, yet despite knowing the taste of love you choose hatred.”
I struggled even more than before to get onto my hooves. I coughed up blood as I got up. I must have hit the ground harder than I thought. “Yes. And I would choose it every single time I’m given an opportunity.”
“But why?”
“Because it’s the only thing that makes me feel alive…”
I jumped back, shooting a few magical bolts in her direction. She dodged them effortlessly, her form beginning to cast a sphere of magical might around her. Her speed tripled, and I found myself being rammed into by her once more, sending me crashing into a nearby rock face.
The pain was almost too much for even one such as I to take, yet I stayed conscious. Despite how battered and bruised I was, I needed to keep going to get what I so desperately desired. Breaking myself free from the rubble around me, I landed ungracefully to the ground below, the taste of dirt becoming all too familiar to me.
“Have you even tried loving before, Chrysalis? Have you even given another path a fair chance?”
My throat found it hard to let the words out, but I managed to gargle, “I-I did in—” I coughed more blood than before. “I tried it more than once… a long t-time ago now.”
“And what caused you to abandon it? Even Discord has given up his chaotic ways in pursuit of love and companionship. If he can change then why can’t you, a changeling?”
“Because, princess, changelings don’t feel the same as any other species. W-we’re much closer to beasts than you realize.” I found myself standing tall once more as the burning fire within grew to a boiling point. “I, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings have only felt true emotion from the hatred I have for you and all of your little ponies!”
To my displeasure, the princess sighed at my words. “So, it seems this is the way it has to be. Pity, I expected so much more from you.”
I have never felt more alive in my life. I was ready for it, I was ready for what was to come. Channeling my magic once more, I mimicked her and cast a sphere of magical energy around me. I laughed so hard that the noise around me faded away, and I was just me, a living being enjoying the moment.
She too casted the same spell as I, and we found ourselves being lifted from the ground. I let my laughter fade away, and we both stared at each other once again. I reaffirmed my resolve, and prepared myself for the coming moment. She, however, looked so sad. Shame, seems she would never understand what it truly meant to be me.
The next moment we flew at each other at speeds I couldn’t even register. As we clashed, a shockwave was sent out across Tartarus, debris flying around us as we pushed against one another once more. We were equal in this moment, but I demanded more.
I screamed, “Give me everything you’ve got, Celestia!”
Still, despite my demand, our powers struggled against one another. Until, I felt mine starting to wane under her pressure. Yes, it was small but noticeable. I was losing strength, probably from all the blows I took prior. It seems I would die here today the way I wanted and not some tortured existence as stone or imprisoned for the princess’ amusement.
Good.
A moment later my power flickered, and in the tiniest second of my life, I felt myself blasted down below, but it wasn’t rock that met me.
“AAAAAAARRRRGHHH!” I screamed in agony, experiencing the worst pain of my life.
I was starting to sink into the lava flow surrounding Tartarus. This was it, this was what I needed. Despite the blinding pain, I accepted it with open hooves. My chitin scorched, melting away from me. I felt my wings evaporate, and my guts beginning to ryth as an opening caused the lava to flow within me. The last thing I saw before losing consciousness and departing this world below the waves of molten rock was the princess looking down upon me in a look that could only be described as utter disappointment.
I guess you really will never understand.
Author's Note
I wrote this short story to tackle the theme of all consuming hatred. I have experience hate in life, and in some sense, still do for certain individuals. The burning sensation deep within is something I wanted to write about, and I got the inspiration from seeing the image used for the cover art. This is different from my last three fics by a large margin, but I hope you guys can find enjoyment in it none the less.
This is unedited, so if there is any egregious mistakes, I'd love to know.
Thank you all again for reading my stories.
