To Be Comforted by the Night
…
...Hmm… we could have sworn that--oh!
There thou art! Thou art certainly a difficult creature to find in the astral planes of the Dreamscape, but nevertheless! We have found thee now!
Oh, come on! Stop making those silly, surprised faces! Thou hast seen us before, yes?
...Ah… thou wert intimidated by the appearance of a Princess into your life… we see…
...And thou thinkest thyself not of the necessary importance to hold an audience with one such as us?
Dearest human… thou thinkest of thyself too lowly. Equestria is not like the traditional monarchies or diarchies of thy old world and life. Where the monarchs of your land were despots, and stood mostly uncaring for the needs of all, our sister and we care for all creatures, great and small; and thou art no exception.
Here… have a seat. ...Thou lookest surprised. Oh! This is the Dreamscape, silly! Here, we may conjure practically any image or scenario we like. The room thou now seest before you was crafted entirely of our imagination.
...We may also have the ability to… gaze upon dreams that thou hast had previously, and we thusly know something of what thou enjoyest of comfortable settings. That is why there exists a fireplace and dark and quiet ambiance--it is thus that thou enjoyest the most, no?
Make thyself… we really should be using more informal language here, should we not? Forgive us… modern language is something we have had difficulty learning in full since our return to Equestria from exile. Make yourself comfortable, dearest human.
Likest thou… no… Do you like tea? We are aware of our sister’s propensity to drink it, and also the propensity of many of our subjects to indulge in its consumption as well. We personally prefer coffee, actually, but… oh, you do as well? Splendid!
...Here. Take this. Given that this is the Dreamscape, after all, we… or is it I, nowadays? I have the opportunity to share with you a coffee that I enjoyed very much in my more formative years. It is quite dark, however--is that alright? ...Good! My, how many similarities in taste do we share!
…
...So… how art thou? I mean… how are you?
…
Your answer is unsatisfactory. “Fine” does not describe how you have been thinking of yourself lately.
…
You truly are your own worst enemy, you know.
Don’t look at me like that--I know how you have thought of yourself in recent weeks. The self-flagellation you have effected upon yourself threatens to compete with the Tantabus I created for myself.
…
Dearest human… I know you may have heard it from many… and I know that you may hear it several times more. But… I would like you to know this:
You are loved. Cherished. Worthful--and do not try to tell me in this moment that you are not.
I love you. And… I would cherish you, care for you, comfort you, embrace you, hold you closely and tightly through all that may come… if only you would have me…
Yes… it is true. I… well…
...I would like to tell you a story.
When I was much younger, and had just ascended to the throne, I thought that it was my golden ticket to appreciation. I thought surely that being a Princess would mean once and for all that I would command the total respect of all around me, that I would possess unparalleled affection from all I led, and… that I would finally be wanted.
Well… to make a long story short, I was wanted, but… for the wrong reasons. The number of suitors I received on a weekly basis was astounding; a great number of noble stallions (and even a few mares, believe it or not) soon began to approach me, asking for my hoof in marriage. It was gleefully exciting, for I finally thought that this was it: that I would finally know the embrace of another pony as I had so dreamed of for so many moons…
...Except, my sister prevented any of those marriages from coming to pass. For a time, I was confused, furious even, that she would dare deny me the happiness I had so dreamed of for so long. I could not for the life of me understand why she turned away every suitor that would come, and for awhile, I was in a place where I perhaps hated my sister almost as much as I did when I was overtaken by Nightmare Moon.
What I did not understand at the time, however, was that my sister was protecting me.
Every one of the suitors who approached me did not love me as I thought they must have. All of them only played the part for their own prospective gain. My sister saw this within them--younger me, however, did not. I believed that being a Princess meant that everypony loved me, that everypony wanted the best for me, and that everypony truly cared about me. What I discovered, however, was that many ponies care only for themselves.
Needless to say, when I discovered this, I was… well, I suppose the word “heartbroken” does not even fully encapsulate what I felt. I was angry, bitter, depressed, anguished… I was many things. The truth I had held sacred and dear for the whole of my life was not, in fact, truth at all… it was a beautiful fantasy I had pulled across my eyes to distract myself from the reality that not everypony would have my best interests in mind… even if I had their best interests in mine.
It was under this idea that I operated upon for a long while. Too long a while… and it is one of the ideas that actually led to Nightmare Moon… and my own exile.
When I returned, and Nightmare Moon had been cast out, I was overwhelmed by the love and care my sister, who I once thought to be my worst enemy, lavished upon me. I was surprised… and it is one of the most wonderful feelings I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. To be loved after feeling as though you are hated for a thousand years...
...Which now brings me to you.
You have suffered through so much, dearest human… and you are more like me than I think you would care to admit. When I first laid mine eyes upon you, I thought for certain that you were just another creature, just another wanderer to look after in the Dreamscape like the so many millions of ponies all throughout Equestria. But you… you turned out to be very much different than they.
I often times ponder how your kind even retains a shred of sanity at all. We ponies know our destinies from the moment our cutie marks appear on our flanks. It is written in stone what we are to be, what we are to do, what we are to be good at, and for most, this brings a serene sense of comfort… but for you?
You do not know like we do. You are never told by the stars above what it is you are destined to be skilled at. Your future is never secured--not by the leaders of your nations, by markings that appear upon you, nor by the circumstances of your birth, usually. You must find and forge a way for yourself… always. And that, in and of itself, must be terrifying.
And yet… here you are. You have stood the test of time thus far to be sitting here in front of me. In the Dreamscape, of course, but still! Despite all uncertainties, despite all obstacles that life has put in your path, despite every hardship you have suffered, despite all of your failings… here you are. The very fact that you are here before me is a testament to the fact that you are strong. You have kept on, and have kept seeking that purpose that you so desire, despite all the times you have failed to find it.
You are a warrior, in the truest sense, dearest human… even if you might not think it yourself.
And that… well, among other reasons… is why I fell for you.
Yes… it is true. I love you…
I care not what mistakes you have made. How many times you have fallen. How you have been hurt. What you have done, thought, or said. Because the mistakes you have made have created the human I so dearly love. You have grown and learned from every experience you have had… and that is more than many can claim for themselves.
When I was younger, I fell for every suitor who approached me because I thought that they loved me. Now… I have fallen for you… not because I think you love me, but because of who you are.
Do not ever think that you are not loved. Do not ever think that you are not cherished, held in high regard, worthy of affection, or deserving of a bright and hopeful future. Because if by no one else… you are loved by me.
Your dream is fading. You will awaken soon. Please… promise me that you will be easier on yourself today? I don’t expect you to be perfect… but choose to love yourself today in some way… whether it be in a big or small way is up to you. Do that every day, my dearest human. And when the night comes anew… I will wait for you.
I love you.
