“Yona summon friends for very important reason!”
The floor shook as the yak took her seat at the table. Silverstream bounced in her throw pillow seat, her talons rapping the table with an infectious rythm. Beside her, Smolder was sipping out of two smoothies. One hers; the other? Silverstream wouldn’t miss one smoothie. This juice bar was a bit dimmer than Sugar Cube Corner but Yona had taken a liking to the cozy, tavern-like atmosphere. It was like home, but without the relaxing sound of smashing in the distance.
“Yona needs money!”
Smolder’s sipping stopped. “Why in the world would you ask a hoarder for money?”
“Yona just think Smolder have extra ruby or sapph—“
“So what is it?” Silver blurted. She was looking Yona dead in the eyes.
Yona gulped. “Uhm,well, it's...”
“Well? A new bed? House? A yacht? Sugar Cube Corner?”
Smolder spat Silver’s drink. “A yacht?!”
Silver’s wings unfurled, whipping out an arsenal of credit cards. Gold member, Diamond member, Platinum member, Black, Ultra Black, Galactic Black. “Well, maybe not a yacht; Dad would be really upset if I got another boat without asking.”
Smolder slammed the table. “Another boat?!”
“Well the first boat was a warship, cause I, like, really wanted one. But I can’t sail it anywhere ‘cause it’s, well, a warship and it’ll cause an ‘international crisis’ or something if I take it the wrong way.”
“Yona want airship.”
Smolder's stare fixed on Yona. Her arms crossed. “You did not!”
The yak grinned. “Yona want airship now.”
“Oh, an airship! That should be easy.” Silverstream tapped a card against her beak, her mind racing through her imaginary catalogue of airships. “How big?”
“Biggest!”
“Hold up!” Smolder slammed a milkshake against the table. “You just said you can’t buy another boat!”
“Pfft, an airship isn’t a boat. It doesn’t go in water.”
“It's literally a boat with a balloon on it!”
“Silverstream right. Ship not in water? Not boat.”
“She is zero percent right! There's nothing right about that! I will draw you both a picture of an airship and a boat right now and if you say it isn’t one I’ll deck you!”
“Hmm, Smolder says airship and boat?”
“Yona’s right. That's a very interesting distinction to make.”
“Shut up! It's a boat!”
Several minutes passed. Using every single napkin on the table, two dispensers worth of pepper, and the creative application of firebreath, Smolder created a messy but accurate illustration of an airship.
"Done. Now I can show you—"
Silverstream and Yona burst into applause.
"Outstanding artistry!"
"Dragon friend very skilled!"
"Oh, uh. Thank you. Thank you." Smolder took a bow before sitting back down. "Now I can show you why you're wrong!" Smolder pointed a claw at her masterwork. “Okay, you two bird-brains, what's that?”
“The hull,” Silver and Yona said together.
“Yona just want to make clear only Silverstream has bird’s brain.”
Smolder rolled her eyes and pointed to a different part of the picture. “And that?”
“The stern.”
"And that!"
Silverstream raised a brow. "That’s a unicorn."
"Why Smolder make figurehead Professor Rarity?"
"No! Forget about that part." Smolder ripped away the bow napkin and tossed it into her mouth. "Yes, it's the figurehead! Which boats have!"
Silverstream leaned back, wings crossed. “Alright, maybe an airship is a boat. I guess. It's not in water but if it’ll make you happy.”
“Okay, how about this: if the water part's such a big deal to you, what if I take your boat, and put it in lava—is it still a boat?”
“No.”
Smolder’s stare went blank. Smoke rose not only from her nostrils, but also from underneath her horns; Silverstream and Yona were proud to have finally discovered where Smolder’s ears were.
“What?! What in the world is wrong with you?! How could it not be a boat? It’s literally a boat!” Smolder’s claws slammed down on the table and her fire-spitting mouth was a hair away from Silver’s beak. “How is it not a boat, Silver? Tell me how the heck it's not a boat!”
“‘Cause it would burn up. No more boat.”
The fire stopped. Smolder’s tail flumped against the floor, and she fell into her pillow. “Yeah... I guess.”
With Smolder soundly defeated, Silverstream ordered another round of smoothies and a relaxing herbal tea for the grumpy dragon.
“So, you’ve just been secretly loaded this whole time?”
“Secretly? I don’t even know if I could keep a secret. Talking’s, like, my number two favourite thing to do. I could talk all the time. Like how about how one of my bandmates, November Rain, is secretly actually super scared of rain ‘cause he’s afraid that the pegasi will lose control of the clouds one day. And then it would rain nonstop ‘til the world flooded.” As the sentence went on, her voice got higher and higher until she took one deep breath, nearly inhaling her straw. “But it's not much of a secret anymore.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause he told me."
Silverestream bit the cherry from her smoothie. "But yeah, I just figured you were all being nice and didn’t want to ask for anything. Like, I always buy all our meals and everything.”
“What? You don’t buy our meals every time!”
Silverstream leaned against the table, resting her beak against her talons. “Okay, go on; name one time we’ve all been out together and I didn’t pay for the food, drinks, or sweets.”
Smolder raised her claw, then put it back down. She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. Silverstream wasn’t there that week. We left her behind that one time. October was the time Gallus took her wallet so that doesn’t count. Wait, there was that time last month Yona paid... no. That was Ocellus taking Silver’s place cause she was sick. “Crap… why do I ever go out to eat by myself? I've wasted so much money not bringing you everywhere!”
“And now I’ll never be left out of Smolder’s plans, woo!”
“But Silverstream just be Smolder piggybank. That not fair.”
“Aw," Smolder pulled Silver in, shoulder to shoulder. " It's not like that. She’s just our friend with financial benefits. Besides you asked for an airship.”
“Yona was weak. Yona saw new world. Yona wanted power... and boat.”
“And I may have been a bit overzealous when Yona said she needed money. It was just nice to finally have some creature ask. I’ve just been impulse-buying garbage for myself. I see an ad? Woop, there goes fifty bits on, like… a pretty rock.”
“Hey, that rock made a great addition to my hoard.”
“I didn’t give you that rock...”
Smolder sipped her drink and put a menu between her Silverstream. “Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t use Silver to pay for all my meals, but just, ya know. Enough of them.
“Oh no, go ahead. I love watching you eat anyway.”
Smolder lowered the menu. “What?”
“Friend Smolder eat funny. With mouth all open and big, chompy teeth.”
“Yeah, it's adorable! You just shove stuff in there like you’ve never eaten before.”
A blue blush overcome Smolder’s face. “How the heck is that cute?! There's nothing cute about that.”
“Yona think it funny ‘cause Smolder sit next to Ocellus. Smolder does big chompies. Ocellus does tiny baby bites.” Yona imitated the way Ocellus nursed food with a straw. Her flat yak teeth and her typical enthusiasm ground the straw into a flat crumbled mess anyway. No worries. Smash straw. Acquire new straw. Yak life simple.
“Well, I think it's just plain cute to see someone love eating so much.”
“Whatever,” Smolder looked away from her friends. Her tail idly batting at the ground. “You’d think a potato was cute.”
“Just cause that’s true doesn’t make it mean less.”
“Meaning given by belief. Silverstream believe Smolder cute then Smolder is cute. Yona believe in Silverstream. Therefore Yona also believe Smolder cute. Smolder double cute.”
“That's not how anything works! Things aren't things just because you believe they are. Things are things because they are what they is. Or... is what they are…. Me eating isn’t cute; therefore, it isn’t cute.”
“Oooh. Smolder using tautology.” Yona teased, her hooves circling in a spooky fashion. “Scary.”
“Taught-ology? Is that the study of being taught things? Are we experiencing taught-ology everyday?”
Smolder snickered. “No, Tautology is a fancy word for saying A is A because A is A. Or Smolder is Smolder and not cute because Smolder isn’t cute.”
“Well, that doesn’t make sense at all.”
“Of course it makes sense. After all, if you buy a boat, it either flies or doesn’t.”
“It is what it is,” Yona chimed.
“And it isn’t what it ain’t.” Smolder nodded, bumping Yona’s hoof.
“So things are things, but things have properties that means cute things are cute.” Silverstream slammed her palm down on the table. A sharp talon pointed right heat smolder “Aha! When Smolder does cute things Smolder is cute! I did it! I win”
Smolder’s face shifted blue with blush and her cheeks puffed with flame. But all she could do was swallow it.
“Tsk, tsk. Tautology poor weapon.”
“Well, how about turnabout! What about when Yona does cute things?”
“Oh, so you think Yona’s cute.” Silverstream zipped behind Yona. Her talons crooked into Yona’s mouth and pulled it into a smile.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Aww, you don’t think Yona’s cute!” Silverstream pulled Yona’s lips into a frown.
“Hold up, you can’t hold Yona’s emotions hostage like that!”
Silver grabbed the sides of Yona’s head. “Yona, can I use your emotions as leverage?” Yona nodded as stiffly as a child’s marionette. “I can!” The puppet nodded again. “Oh boy, thanks! You’re such a good friend; that’s why you’re getting an airship.”
“She didn’t even really want an airship!”
“You’re right. What Yona wants is to hear whether our old pal Smols thinks she’s cute.” nod nod. “Well, what's the answer?”
“This isn’t fair!”
“Turnabout isn’t fair play, is it, Yona?” Silver turned Yona’s head to the side. “It really isn’t. But it sure is fun! Now answer! Answer! Answer!”
“Answer! Answer! Answer! Answer! Answer!” Yona joined.
“What?! What happened to being a silent puppet?”
“Answer! Answer! Answer! Answer! Answer!”
“Ugh, fine!” Smolder scooped up every drink on the table, and downed each one in one shot. With an exasperated sigh, she glared at her two friends with their obnoxious smirks. “Yona can be…” There was a clear struggle in her voice. Her fingers tapped against the glasses as she tried to force the words out her throat. “Sometimes. When Yona’s getting really excited. And starts doing that jumpy stompy thing she does I—“ She paused. Silver and Yona’s grins grew wider and wider with anticipation. “I just want to pick her up and squeeze her like a freaking teddy bear, okay?! But it’s not cute, got it? I’s cruel and violent. Like when you squeeze it till the stuffing comes out.”
“Awwwwwwwww!”
“I said it’s not cute!”
Silverstream wagged her finger. “When Smolder does cute things, Smolder is being cute.”
“Go die in a fire with your boat!”
Silverstream snickered. “Will do, but a ghost can’t buy your food."
“Yona think Yona would make good teddy bear.”
“Speaking of buying my food, Yona: what in the heck did you actually need money for anyway?”
“Oh, um. Yona a bit embarrassed now.”
Silverstreams eyes sparkled. “Ooooh. Embarrassing things? Is it a book from the back of the bookstore?
Smolder scratched behind her horns. “What sort of books are in the back?”
“Ones to be embraced over. Like the ones Ocellus doesn’t tell us about.”
“Not that embarrassing. Yona no need trash book. Yona need money to—“ She chuckled. “Take Smolder and Silverstream on date.”
“Oh so that’s what the airship is for.”
“You idiot,” Smolder shouted, “WE’RE ALREADY ON A DATE!”
Author's Note
This one was typed up in a day for funsies. Thanks for reading.
