Generally when it came to her crushes Applejack was completely oblivious until someone, usually Rarity, pointed them out for her. This time she had recognized it right away and ironically enough this was the one time she felt she’d be better off not knowing.
It wasn’t that the person couldn’t reciprocate ,Applejack didn’t really care if the love was one sided, more that they shouldn’t for multiple reasons. The primary one being she was her teacher. She had fallen for Miss. Cheerilee.
The teacher was candid ,very rarely saying something untrue. She had a snarkiness about her that Applejack couldn’t help but appreciate. She was caring and always had her students best interests at heart. On top of all that, she was beautiful.
Applejack was not one to keep secrets, nor was she one to lie, and it was rare that she withheld the truth. In this instance however she had tried to make an exception. There was nothing that could be done about it and as such there was no reason to bring it up.
Unfortunately, she was terrible at it. Her friends could tell something was up and each time they asked her she told them the truth. There was nothing her friends could do about it. Still she could tell they knew she was holding something back.
It was two minutes until the end of class and as was usual of late she was counting the seconds until school got out. She was having the hardest time concentrating, as every time she saw even a part of Cheerilee her mind would drift to thoughts she should definitely not have about a teacher, much less during class.
When the bell rang she moved to shoot out of the classroom as she’d become accustomed to when she heard Cheerilee call. “Applejack, I’d like to speak with you.”
She was going to be alone in a room with her teacher. Her heart beat fast in simultaneous fear and excitement. She had fantasied about this. Cheerilee holding her back after class only to yell at her for even thinking about a teacher that way. Occasionally it would be a good fantasy but usually that was it.
As everyone left the classroom Applejack stared at the door with longing. She just wanted to run away, where she didn’t have to worry about saying or doing something wrong. Eventually the classroom was empty and she stared at her feet.
“Applejack take a seat.” Cheerilee asked her. She made her way to a nearby desk. “No I mean here.” The teacher said gesturing to a chair nearby. She hesitated. “You’re not in trouble.”
Applejack shuffled her way towards the chair, trying desperately to ignore the beating of her heart. She sat down, still staring fixedly at the floor. It didn’t help much as she could still sense her presence.
“Applejack, I don’t mean to pry but you’re usually an A or B student. Recently your grades have been slipping and I can’t help but notice how distracted you are lately. So I just wanted to ask, Is something wrong?” Cheerilee asked.
She shifted nervously in her seat. How was she supposed to answer that? She couldn’t come out and say she had feelings for Miss. Cheerilee. That might get her expelled or something. Maybe Cheerilee would be disgusted or worse still she would get the teacher in trouble. Applejack didn’t want to ruin things for anyone. So in the end she went with what she’d been telling her friends. “Well there is something wrong, but there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Applejack felt her draw closer in concern. Her breath grew heavy. “Don’t sell me short if you tell me what’s going on I might be able to help.”
Applejack shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She froze as the teacher placed a hand on her shoulder.
“You know the more you try to push me away the more worried I get.” She sighed. Applejack didn’t respond. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want help.”
She didn’t want to look Miss. Cheerilee in the eyes because she was afraid of what might happen.. Yet despite her strong desire to avoid eye contact she found herself looking into her teacher's rich green eyes with the density of an orchard. She said nothing worried what might come out of her mouth.
“You can confide in me.” She promised. Applejack wanted to stay quiet but looking into those soft, compassionate eyes, she found herself unable to.
“I like someone I shouldn’t.” She admitted.
“I see.” Miss. Cheerilee nodded in understanding. “Someone from a rival school?”
Applejack wished it were that simple. “No, someone older than me.”
“How much older?”
“Too much older. This person could get into trouble if I try to make a move.” She felt tears prick her eyes.
“So you like this person but there’s no way you can be with them.” Cheerilee nodded. “That’s a difficult situation to be in.”
“It’s not just that.” She burst out. She had wanted to stop there but it was like a dam had burst and she had to get everything off her chest.
“Oh?”
“I feel guilty for having these feelings.” She told her, the tears beginning the trickle down her face. “I feel like I’m a terrible person.” She swallowed. “And, I can’t get the feelings to go away.” She finally began to cry. “Why won’t they go away!” She cried into her hands not wanting Miss. Cheerilee to see her like this. She felt her teacher lift up her head and use a tissue to brush the tears from her eyes.
“Applejack, you don’t need to feel guilty of anything. We all have feelings we shouldn’t but that doesn’t matter as much as what we do about them. You don’t want to hurt this person right?”
She shook her head. “Never.”
“And you’re not trying to date them.”
“No.”
“Then I think you need to let your guilt go.” Cheerilee cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes. “You are a good person Applejack.”
It was like a weight had been lifted. Cheerilee knew she was a good person. She didn’t hate her. She was even okay with her having the feelings so long as she didn’t act on them. Applejack gave her a small smile. “Thanks, Miss Cheerilee, I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that.
