Tales of Troubled Teens (Reboot)

by ActivistVictor

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Comedy, Rarity, Equestria Girls, Pinkie Pie, Sunset Shimmer, Limestone Pie, Main 7 (EqG), Profanity, Violence, Alternate Universe, Human, Narcotics, Romance
Length: 9594

A new transfer tries to start a new life at CHS, but will he be accepted?

An attempt to partially convey my experiences as someone with high functioning autism. You don't have to love it but if so how about acting older than the intended target demographic MLP and opting to just move on to something else instead of passive-aggressively spamming dislike without even taking 2 seconds to explain your reasoning, (which has sadly been a major problem on this site for me so far)... so you know, DON'T act like the entitled brat of your generic Karen... you think you can handle that.... heh... well that makes one of us then

A new transfer to CHS, Pocket Pair wants nothing more than to leave his lackluster past behind and start a new better life. But this will he easier said than done.

AU with no mirror portal or Equestria, since that seems unnecessarily complicated and irrelevant to what happens here.

Published 2020-03-16 05:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-08 22:02:57 UTC

Besting the Bullies

Author's Note

Ratings have been disabled on this and all other stories of mine until further notice. I am writing to deal with personal issues and I am not letting others and their dislikes get in the way of this anymore.

Besting the Bullies

“Ok, it’s a new year… new opportunities, let’s make them count.” A particular male senior thought as he left his school bus, (of which he was the only occupant), and walked towards the front of his new high school. As he went up the walkway to the front doors of the building, he took note of the horse statue in front of it. “Well, that explains the name Canterlot then,” he thought to himself, before he pressed on and entered the building.

Once he was inside, he took a look around to get acquainted with his new surroundings As he did, he couldn’t help but imagine the hallways flooding like in the Titanic, a thought perhaps slightly egged on by his obsession with said ship. “And on the subject of Titanic… I see the rich beauty of the place” he thought to himself as he took note of an extremely pretty female who was walking away from him and conversing with another student. and focused on a pretty female who was walking towards him while conversing with another student. While he obviously couldn’t get a view of her face from his vantage point, he could tell from her well-kept curly purple hair that she was obviously very into keeping up a good look, and this opinion was backed up by her skirt and shirt, both of which seemed to be very high end. “Dang… what a real Rarity,” he thought to himself…” I wonder if I have any classes with he...” but a loud commotion nearby jolted him out of his thoughts.

“Give me back Holder’s Boulder!”someone nearby shouted in a gravelly voice, and as he turned to face the source of the noise, he say that it belonged to a female with lavender skin, who was desperately trying to get something back from a short male with dingy blue skin and orange hair, and another taller male with beige skin and blue hair who were tossing it back and forth amongst themselves playing keepaway. Pocket pair, immediately sensing something was wrong here, first looked around in an attempt to locate the school office. However, he soon changed his mind, and instead decided to secretly pull out his phone and record the ordeal, just to have video verification in case no one believed him when he reported it.

“AAARGH, stop messing with me and give that back!” the girl shouted before she sprinted towards the shorter boy.

“Oh yeah, well maybe we don’t want to, what do you think of that, Oscar the Grouch?” The short one said before he chucked the object, which the new student now saw was a small rock, to his ally before the girl could grab it.

“I told you before, MY NAME'S LIMESTONE, NOT OSCAR!!!!” She growled in frustration.

“Oh yeah, well you sure coulda fooled me with your grouchy attitude, right Snails, the short one taunted.

“Yeah Snips, whatever you say is always right!” Snails said back to him, before tossing the boulder back to him to evade Limestone.

.

“I swear, if you don’t give it back to me now...!” Limestone said in seething anger.

“Oh, I’m SOOOO scared…” Snips said cynically, “What about you Snails?”

“Yeah, I am too,” Snails replied, “After all, she could probably kick our asses and take it from us once we’re beaten up, given her large side and more muscular build than us.” Snails said to him matter of fact.

“Yeah, you could probably just kick our asses and , WAIT WHAT” Snips started to agree before he processed what his partner in crime had just said. “Eh heh heh… don’t listen to my comrade over there… he’s an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about…”

“Oh, is that so,” she said, before she walked up to Snails with an enraged malicious smile, causing Snails to back away in fear, but he quickly found his retreat impeded by the wall of lockers behind him. “I actually think he knows full well what he’s talking about Snippy boy… and what’s more, that’s actually is a pretty damn good idea now isn’t it? I mean after all, with all the teachers in the school preparatory meeting it’s not like they’re in much position to stop me right now!” She then grabbed his shirt and lifted him up, before she snarled at him. “So how’s this Snippy boy, you gonna give me back that boulder, or am I gonna have to I take his suggestion to heart and pulverize you!”

“Oh please, we all know you aren’t going to do a thing,” a snobbish voice chimed in, causing everyone nearby to turn towards the source of it.

“Piss off Diamond Tiara, me and my good pals righty and lefty were about to have a business meeting with their faces, and this is a private engagement!”, Limestone said to the newcomer, a short but intimidating girl with pink skin, purple hair with white highlights, and, quite fittingly, a silver tiara on top of her head with a diamond in the middle of it.

“Oh I disagree SLIMESTONE! Because you see, when you threaten Sunset’s fellow associates, that means I get clearance to attend your little meeting anyways!” Diamond sneered back at her.

“I thought Sunset said we were lackeys, not associates…” Snails said, but his statement was ignored.

“Oh, you think so?” Limestone said to Diamond as she dropped Snips and approached Diamond Tiara, to which Snips responded by running behind Snails and continuing to watch while peering from behind his back. “Well if you’re that desperate to join I suppose I could pencil you in! After all, righty and lefty don’t have anything going on until class starts so I’m sure they’ll have no problem with a slight change in plans.” Limestone continued, before she cracked her knuckles and menacingly stood a few feet away from Diamond.

“Ah ah ah ah, I’d refrain from the threats if I were in your shoes… as tacky as said shoes are.” Diamond snarkily retorted, “Wouldn’t want Principal Cinch to hear about you beating up someone, would you? Unless of course you just don’t care about the REPUTATION of your family business in this town that is...”

Limestone, losing her scowl for a second, quickly regained it and leaned towards Diamond Tiara. “.... Ok fine, I guess beating you up isn’t such an amazing idea after all… so instead, I’m just going to… to...”

“Do what, stare me to death?” Diamond Tiara said, “HAHAHAHA please! You won’t do anything, except go home and cry to your backwoods parents and family like a little baby… but wait, you CAN’T now can you? Because they all HATE YOU!”

“...You don’t know a fucking thing about my family you bitch!” Limestone said, jabbing her finger at Diamond, who held her ground.

“Oh come on now, don’t even TRY to deny it… “ Diamond replied, “That weird quiet one scowls at you, that weird monotone won’t look your way, and even that weird pink one won’t acknowledge you or your existence, and you really must’ve fucked up if she doesn’t like you because she likes EVERYONE! Of course, if you act like this I wouldn’t blame her, or any of them, for not wanting to associate with you at all…”

“SHUT UP!!!!” Limestone shouted, covering her ears.

“Ok Diamond, I think that’s you made your point eh?” Snails said, “We really should get going before…” but Diamond Tiara cut him off.

“Oh, what's the matter, did I hurt your feelings?” Diamond said cruelly, “My my my, I didn’t even know you HAD any of those besides anger…”

“SHUT! UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!”” Limestone said, still covering her ears to shut Diamond’s words out.

“Shut up shut up? Is that all you can say?” Diamond Tiara mocked, “Are you a Pokemon or something? Or are you just too stupid to know anything else, backwoods hick!”

Limestone, livid with anger, walked towards Diamond Tiara with an expression angrier than the new student had ever seen, forcing her to take a couple steps back. “NOW YOU LISTEN AND LISTEN UP! IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE RIGHT NOW, THEN CINCH OR NO CINCH I’M GOING TO…”

“Oh please, you’re all TALK SLIMESTONE, and we all know it, even you.” Diamond Tiara said, “That’s all you’ve ever been, and all you’ll ever be. A pathetic loser who never actually does anything, and no matter how much you try to deny it, deep down even you know I’m right. I mean really, would anyone miss you if you were gone, because I doubt it! Heck, if you died today I bet tomorrow your family would throw a party, and that pink one would help set it up and invite everyone in the entire school, inducing ME! And I do so love a good party, the boys there give the best head…. So what are you waiting for? Stop keeping her waiting...” she concluded, before laughing cruelly. Snips soon joined in laughing, and Snails did soon after, albeit in a way that was more nervous than genuine. Limestone, in the meantime, turned away from them to try and shut their laughter out, but no matter how hard she covered her ears, she simply couldn’t keep them out.

The new student however, who had been getting ever more enraged at the whole thing, finally snapped at Diamond’s prompting for Limestone to kill herself, and quickly shut the phone he was recording with and made a move to intervene… and he knew just how to go about it. He then walked up to the group, cleared his throat, and said“Hey, mind if I join in?” to get their attention.

Diamond Tiara quickly stopped laughing along with Snips and Snails upon hearing his voice, and all three of them turned to face him. “Um… and just who the actual FUCK are you?” she said with venom in her voice.

The new student, after straightening his shirt out, pointed to the pair of aces on it and said “The name’s Pocket Pair… and I’m new here and looking to get involved with the right crowd here… and anyone who dressed so well certainly seems like someone who’s worth knowing if you ask me.

“Ohh,” Diamond Tiara said, softening up a little, “Is that so? And just what makes you think you’re good enough to hang with us?”

“Hmm,” Pocket Pair said, “Well… since you seem like an important and busy girl, I’ll make it quick. I saw you tossing that boulder around, and figured you like putting losers in their place. So if you’d be so kind as to give me a chance with it… I can assure you putting a loser in their place is just what I’m going to do! So what do you say, lovely miss? Sound like a good plan to have some fun?”

“I don’t know Diamond, we don’t know anything about this guy, are you sure we can trust…” Snips said, but she cut him off with a malicious smile.

“You have spunk, and you seem to recognize greatness when you see it… I like that! With someone like you at our side there’s no telling what we could accomplish!” Diamond Tiara said, before she took the boulder from Snips and tossed it to him. “Just mess with her a bit more to strip her of her remaining dignity and you’re in!”

Pocket Pair, smirking, said Alright, go long everyone! This throw will be a doozy” before he reached back and the three aggressors backed up in anticipation of his throw. Pocket Pair, knowing they were now too far away to stop him, quickly walked up to the Limestone.

“I do believe this is yours…” he said before he slipped it in her pocket, causing her to finally put her hands down from her face. She quickly rubbed her pocket, but otherwise had no discernible reaction.

“Wha… what the hell was that?” Diamond Tiara said enraged, “You said you were going to put a loser in their place!!!”

“Yes… I did say that,” Pocket Pair said, “Unfortunately however, you seem to have misread WHOM I was referring to, because the only LOSERS I see around here are Snips, Snails, and most of all, YOU! And I dare say I did a pretty good job of putting you where you belong just now. Eh, Diamond TiWHOREa!”

Diamond Tiara, tensing up with anger, said “Did you just call me a Diamond TiWHOREa!?”

”Yep.. You sure do catch on straight away don’t you? Tell me, are you a member of Mensa with how smart you are?” Pocket Pair said cynically.

“WHY YOU LITTLE….” Diamond Tiara said approaching him to intimidate him, but Pocket Pair simply backed up a couple steps and smiled smugly.

“Careful now there Diamond” Pocket Pair said, sticking a scolding finger out at her, “I recorded the ENTIRE altercation on my phone and scheduled it as an upload on the school’s facebook page. And if you do ANYTHING to me, then I won’t be able to unschedule it, and Cinch, as well as the rest of the world, will see just did to Limestone, and I’m sure they’ll be able to deduce pretty easily who messed with me as well, since you’d certainly be prime suspects for anyone who sees that video!”

“GRRRRRRRRRRR” Diamond Tiara growled, before she turned to Snips and Snails and began walking away. “Snips, Snails, come with me.” She said.

“Come with you… but you can’t tell me you’re just gonna let him get away with...” Snips said in protest before Diamond cut him off.

“I said come, NOW!” Diamond said again before all of them began walking away. However, as she was leaving, she turned back and GLARED at Pocket Pair. “This isn’t over, YOU HEAR ME! Nobody makes a fool out of Diamond Tiara and gets away with...” but her threat was cut short as she, whilst looking backwards, slammed straight into a support beam in the lobby, and collapsed onto the floor behind her.

“Diamond Tiara, are you ok?” Snails said going to help her up though she brushed it aside, while Snips just watched the scene and face-palmed.

Pocket Pair however burst into laughter. “ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh wow, I’m SO scared! No really, I am, honestly, miss I lose fights to inanimate objects! Tell me, when you get your ‘revenge” is the support beam going to be a target too? It did do a pretty good job of making a fool out of you just now!”

Diamond Tiara, after getting back up again, growled at Pocket Pair, along with Snips, and said “My father will hear about this!” before she and the two boys left him behind and turned a corner out of sight.

Pocket Pair, rolling his eyes at them, turned to face Limestone, who still stood silently near him. “Hey are you alri...?” He said to her, before he was cut off by her mid sentence.

“What the hell was that about?” She said angrily to him, causing him to be taken aback by her anger. Before he could reply though, she continued. “No wait, let me guess, you thought I’d be a good fuck and I’d let you in my pants if you ‘saved’ me, well guess what! I’m NOT INTERESTED, so you wasted your time jackass!”

Pocket Pair, getting annoyed with her lack of gratitude, said “EXCUSE ME! Where do you get off saying that shit to me? Need I remind you I just owned those three fuckups AND got your rock back unscathed to boot! I believe the appropriate response is, THANK YOU”

“It’s not a rock, IT’S A BOULDER, Holder’s boulder, and no one, not even you, is allowed to touch it!” Limestone said angrily as she held it up.

“... But aren’t YOU technically touching it right now?” Pocket Pair stated.

“I… GRRR, stop being a smart-ass DAMN IT!” she said as she put the boulder back away. “And cut the niceguy act! No one just DOES anything for anyone unless they get something in return! And if you’re anything like everyone else around here you probably did it so you could use me and dump me!”

“Well EXCUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! For your information, I helped you because it was the right thing to do!” Pocket Pair said getting angry, “I could have just as easily walked away and left you to rot. Probably would have been a lot easier if you ask me!”

“Oh whatever, keep lying to yourself and me, I’m not going to listen!” Limestone said before she brushed past him in a huff. Before she left though, she turned back to face him and said, “And just for the record, I DIDN’T NEED YOUR HELP, I DON”T NEED ANYONE’S HELP! I HAD IT UNDER CONTROL! So next time, how about you mind your own bucking business instead of embarrassing me and making me look like an invalid in front of the entire school!” She said before she turned back away, and quickly turned the corner the opposite way of the antagonists and disappeared from sight.

Pocket Pair, disgusted with her response, thought “What the hell is that jerk’s deal? I was only trying to help her...” However he shook his head to clear his anger, and took a deep breath. “You know what, forget her, the year is young and the future is bright, I can’t let this get me down!” He then looked at the clock and thought “May as well get to class. You know what they say, the early bird gets the worm… the sunrise makes me squirm… well that, and all toasters toast toast!” He concluded, chuckling as that last thought reminded him of some of his favorite CDI youtube Poops. And so, with his positivity restored, he took a look at his class list and then began to head in the direction of his first class.

The Muffin Incident

“Ok, first class is social studies with Ms. Harshwhinny, room 104, let’s just hope her name doesn’t reflect her mood...” Pocket Pair thought to himself as he looked around, trying to find the room in question. Once he found it, he entered and took a seat near the front, but before he could set his books down on the floor and get situated, someone nearby cleared their throat and caught his attention.

“Yeah, you DON’T want to sit there.” It said, and after turning his head to see who had spoken, Pocket Pair saw that the voice belonged to a male student with spiky blue hair a couple rows behind him.

“Um… are you talking to... me?” Pocket Pair asked.

“Yes I am… and trust me, you DON’T want to be in that seat.” The male said to him.

“And why not, is this your seat or something?” Pocket Pair asked annoyed.

“No…. it DOES however belong to Sunset Shimmer though… and trust me, she does NOT take kindly to people sitting in her seat.” The boy said.

“Sunset Shimmer…. That name sounds familiar.” Pocket Pair said scratching his chin… “Wait, is that that Sunset person Diamond Tiara said she is an associate slash lackey of?”

“Yep, that would be the Sunset I’m talking about.” Flash replied

“Well shit, I already had an extremely ‘pleasant’ interaction with her this morning… I’d rather not have another with her evil overlord.” Pocket Pair thought to himself, before he turned to the guy he had just met and said “Thanks for the warning Mr…. Uh, who are you again?” Pocket Pair said.

“Flash, Flash Sentry.” Flash said to him.

“Ok, thanks Flash Sen.. he said as he got up, but sat back down as he realized something. “Wait. you said your last name was sentry? Do you mean like that sentry the Engineer builds in Team Fortress 2?”

“Not very familiar with that game but I’d assume that yeah, it is most likely like that. In fact I’m starting a lawsuit up for them stealing my last name if you want in...” Flash said.

“HAHA nice” Pocket Pair said, “And that’s a shame, you should really play sometime… just so long as you avoid the micspam bots that talk about quacking“ Pocket Pair then grabbed his things and made a move to get up, but just at that moment, a girl with fiery red and yellow hair entered the room and made eye contact with him, and quickly she donned a look of rage. Pocket Pair, looking at her hair color, immediately deduced that this was in fact the Sunset Shimmer Flash had warned him of, and judging by the anger in her eyes he suspected she wasn't about to discuss the finer points of golf with him in the near future.

“What the hell are you doing in my seat!?” Sunset shouted at him.

“Um…. ” Pocket Pair said nervously, before he turned around behind him and pointed at the seat. “Yeah, what are you doing in her seat, don’t you know that’s impolite?”

“HA HA HA nice try!” Sunset said, taking a step closer, “But I was talking to YOU, not your delusion sitting behind you. So I’ll ask you again, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SEAT WORM!?”

“Um… I uh,” Pocket Pair said nervously, before Flash interjected.

“Relax Sunset… he’s new and didn’t know any better” he said, “And besides, he was just about to relocate when you showed up.”

“I didn’t ask your opinion, Mr. has a Mini-Sentry,” Sunset said, causing Flash to wince, before she turned to Pocket Pair and said, “Is what he said true?”

Pocket Pair nervously nodded.

“Ugh fine… I’ll let you off with a warning, THIS time…” Sunset said, “But you would do well not to get on my bad side again, got it!?”

“I got it alright.” Pocket Pair said.

“Good… now get lost before I change my mind,” Sunset said, and Pocket Pair, wasting now time, quickly scurried to the back of the room and took a seat as far away from Sunset as he could get.

“Damn that was close…” he thought to himself, “All I can say is thank goodness I used the bathroom before class or that situation would have been even shittier.” After chuckling in relief a little and shaking his head, he pulled out his phone and began to play a bit of poker to calm his nerves before class started.

………………………………………. 25 minutes later…………………….

“HAh, turned the best possible flush, try and bluff me again and see what I do ya wanker!” Pocket Pair thought to himself. His opponent obliged and went all-in, and Pocket Pair quickly called. “Gotcha ya bugger,” he thought, before seeing his opponent had two ways to improve to an even better straight flush. “Eh, no worries, I have one of the cards he needs in my hands, so as long as the river isn’t the six of diamonds I’m in the….” “YOU SON OF A!” he shouted as the straight flush hit and he lost, and he looked up in rage, causing everyone to look at him, including the teacher, who had just entered the room and had a harsh glare in her eyes. “Um… Four score and ten years ago our fathers brought forth this continent…” he said as he tried to hide the phone.

“Nice try, but I saw the phone, and in any case with that shouting I would have that’s what you were doing anyway.” she said in an English accent, causing Pocket Pair to blush. “However, it is the first day of school so I suppose I can assume you didn’t know any better and let you off the hook. It would be remiss of you however to continue to have that phone out one I am finished introducing the class. Capiche?”

“Hehe, right,” Pocket Pair said before he quickly exited the poker app and powered the phone down.

The teacher, satisfied with his actions, turned to address the rest of the class. “Good morning class, my name is Ms. Harshwhinny, and welcome to social studies. Normally at this point I’d take attendance, but first I must introduce a new student who is transferring to this school from out of district.” She said, before motioning for someone outside the room to come in.

A face then peeked in from behind the doorway, a face whose most notable feature was a pair of visibly crossed eyes. “Wait… I know her.. That’s...” Pocket Pair thought, but the student spoke up, cutting said thought short.

“Hello, my name is Derpy Hooves,” The girl said, interrupting his inner thoughts, “But you can just call me Ditzy Doo! I’m transferring here from Little Mares special education school” the mere mention of which made Pocket Pair shudder. “I was the school’s head mail deliverer when I was there And speaking of which, a man in the hallway gave me this letter to give to you” before he handed Ms. Harshwhinny a letter. As Harshwhinny opened it, before a recording of the Rick Roll song began playing from the built in music player, causing most of the class to chuckle.

“Mr. Discord…. I swear…” Harshwhinny muttered under her breath, before she shut the letter and turned to Ditzy. “Anyways, now that that incident is over, is there anything else you would like to say in your introduction Ditzy?”

“Absolutely!” Ditzy said, “I’m also a really good cook, and in celebration of my first day here, I’ve made everyone some muffins to enjoy.”

“Oh… how thoughtful Ditzy,” Harshwhinny said. “Now technically I don’t allow eating in my class… as it is not… professional, per say. However, after receiving this letter I think I need to excuse myself from the room to go talk to our school’s janitor for a second. So as long as you behave yourselves and pick up after yourselves, I suppose you may indulge in some baked pastries.” She concluded, before she turned and exited the room.

Ditzy then began walking down desk rows handing out muffins, and while this went without incident at first, everything changed when the fiery haired teenager attacked! This is because Sunset, seeing Harshwhinny leave, wanted to use this opportunity to put her head down and doze off a little. Thus, when Ditzy came up to her, and tapped her on the shoulder, Sunset was not in the mood to respond, and instead grumbled and kept her head on her desk.. Ditzy, not reading the situation, tapped again, and a thrd time, assuming she hadn’t gotten Sunset’s attention, but all this succeeded at doing was making Sunset spring up and throw her hands up as she said “FOR SUNBUTT’S SAKES, I DON’T WANT YOUR STUPID MUFFINS!” However, one of her hands caught the edge of the muffin tray as she went through with her overly dramatic gesture, and this both sent muffins flying everywhere and caused Sunset to turn to the side and hold her hand in pain. Most of these muffins either landed back on the tray, on the desk or on the floor, but one of them flew inside the top of her shirt and came to rest between Sunset’s.., well, it probably doesn't require explicit elaboration as it’s already explicit enough.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Sunset yelled as she stood up and grabbed her chest upon realizing what had happened. However, she didn’t have much time to think as most of the rest of the class, finally processing what had happened, burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. .

“Nice muffin RACK you got there Sunset,” one of the football players hollered.

“YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” Another jock shouted, before high-fiving the first one.

“Wow, that was quite unlikely! Based on the position of the muffin tray and all of the ensuing possible force vectors that could have been applied on it by Sunset’s hand, the odds against this amusing event occurring were 3,720 to one,” A nerdy kid with glasses and purple skin remarked, before he burst into laughter as well.

“Mah boi, this scenario is what ALL true students strive FOR” Pocket pair said as he too laughed at the incident.

Several more seconds of such remarks occured, mostly from the male occupants of the room, as Sunset stood still, eyes twitching in anger. However, it came to an abrupt halt when Sunset’s anger boiled over and she shouted “SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP!” causing everyone in the class to immediately fall silent, and proceed to sit down and look away from her as quickly as they could. Sunset, still seething, quickly reached into her shit, removed the muffin, and put it on her desk, before she slowly and menacingly turned around until her eyes were set on Ditzy. She then pointed an accusing finger at her and said “YOU!” with extreme venom in her voice.

Sunset's Misstep

“Hey, dumbass, I’m talkin to you!” Sunset reiterated to the shocked Ditzy Doo. “WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK do you think you are to go and humiliate me like this in front of everyone?”

“Uh… I’m Ditzy Doo… Nice to meet you!” Ditzy said before laughing nervously, hoping it would appease Sunset. .

“Oh ho HO! , lookie here everyone, we got us a SMARTASS!” Sunset as she balled her fists, cracked her knuckles, and then took one menacing step towards Derpy, who responded by taking a step back. Pocket Pair, meanwhile, once again slipped out his phone to record the ordeal, as he did not like the direction this seemed to be heading.

“Uh, listen, I’m sorry, i...it was a mistake...I… I don’t want any trouble.” Ditzy said, backing up.

“Oh, is that so?” Sunset said, before she breathed in a sigh of relief, forced a smile, and said “You’re right, where are my manners. After all, everybody makes mistakes right?”

“Uh. yeah,” Ditzy said.

“And you’re sorry, so it’s only fair I don’t hold a grudge right?” Sunset said.

‘Right!” Ditzy said, now feeling a lot better.

“Ok then, now that we got that all cleared up, how about I give you back your tray and you can keep passing out the muffins.” Sunset said.

“Yeah,” Ditzy said with a smile, and reached out to get the tray Sunset was handing to her. However, just before she was about to grab it, Sunset ‘accidentally’ dropped it, causing the contents and the tray itself to fall on the floor in front of her desk.

Ditzy reacted in horror, and Sunset, feigning remorse, said “Oops, my oh my what a klutz I am. Let me just take care of that!” she said before she jumped on the muffins and began to stomp and grind them into the floor, while Ditzy looked on in horror. As did much of the rest of the class. After Sunset had stomped around for a bit, and was satisfied with her work, she bent down, placed what remained of the muffins back onto the tray, and then handed it to Ditzy and said “there you go, good as new!”

“You…” Ditzy said, before she put the tray on Harshwhinny’s desk and turned to face Sunset with disgust in her eyes, “You did that on purpose…”

“Oh… you think so,” Sunset admonished, “Wow, and here I thought you were supposed to be retarded…”

“You…you jerk! When I tell Ms. Harshwhinny what happened…” Ditzy said, but Sunset abruptly got in her face, silencing her.

“What was that, You’re gonna tell WHO NOW!?” Sunset said as she advanced on her again, causing her to take a step back.

“Uh… uh.” Ditzy said in terror.

“Because let me tell you,” Sunset continued, “My good pals righty, and lefty here” she said as she pounded her fists together, “DON’T like snitches! If you get my drift!”

“Uh…. uh” Ditzy said, too terrified to respond.

“Of course, all things considered I probably wouldn’t even need to enlist their aid now that I think about it. There’s no way anyone here would believe you anyways! After all. I run this school, and you’re just a retarded LOSER!”

“Shut up,” Ditzy said.

“Oh yeah… and what are you gonna do if I don’t? Tell that old hag Ms. Harshwhinney? Ha, like she’d ever believe you”

“You might be surprised...” a british accent said from behind her, causing Sunset to freeze up in terror. “And for the record, 35 does NOT an old hag make!”

“Sheeeeee’s right behind me, isn’t she?” Sunset said to no one in particular, before she turned around and gulped as, indeed, her perception was correct. “MAN I hate this fucking trope” Sunset thought to herself quickly before Harshwhinney spoke.

“Care to explain what is going on here Ms. Shimmer?” Ms. Harshwhinney said angrily.

“Uh,” Sunset said, “before she got on her knees and feigned sadness. “Well, I was sitting here, minding my own business, when this girl, this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE girl, went and dumped her muffins all over me for no reason, and started laughing. I tried to reach down and pick them up, but the horror, she knocked me down, and I… I crushed all the muffins below me. I’m so sorry!” Sunset lied, forcing fake tears out of her eyes for added effect.

“Oh Bull! Don’t believe a single word she said, I’ve seen better bluffs from the players on my play money apps, and they don’t even know what they’re doing,” Pocket Pair shouted, causing Sunset to turn around in rage.

“Nobody asked you COCKSUCKER!” She stated, before slapping her hands over her mouth.

“Cocksucker eh? That’s it…. Sunset, go straight to Principal Tirek’s office!” Ms. Harshwhinney said.

“What… but I, you can’t” do that to me!” Sunset said exasperated.

“On the contrary, I am your teacher, and doing such a thing is certainly within the confines of my job description!” Ms Harshwhinney said.

“But… be reasonable here.” Sunset said.

“Oh, so now you want to be reasonable!? Well you should have though of THAT before you resorted to petty insults… eh cocksucker!?” Ms. Harshwhinney said, taking Sunset aback. “Now MARCH… before I get really angry!” Sunset, angrily grumbling and glaring harshly at the teacher with a similar name, began leaving the room with said teacher right behind her. “I’ll be back… and I’d advise you NOT to do anything stupid like your classmate here… unless of course, you don’t mind joining her.” Harshwhinney continued, before she left the room.

Everyone in the class, shaken up by what happened, just pulled out their phones and began browsing them, hoping to forget what they just saw. Meanwhile, Pocket Pair, sighing a sigh of relief, ended the recording and shook his head. “Well, it’s nice to see justice isn’t a totally foreign concept in this place… “ before he again shook his head and pull out his phone to play poker and calm down a bit.

Meanwhile, nearby, another student ended her recording as well, but instead of opting to play poker to calm down, she instead laughed maliciously to herself. “Your time in power is up here Sunset!” she thought. “Once everyone sees this video, any popularity you and your bacon headed ass had will be gone, and TRIXIEEEE will finally have a chance to take your place, and achieve the respect and admiration Trixie so richly deserves.” She then went to her anonymous Facebook and YouTube accounts, hit the post button, and sat back and waited as she smiled most evilly.

Author's Note

I probably could have read through this again to iron out the kinks... but given the reception i've had in general on here, i don't think one can blame me for saying "what's the point, people will just hate it anyways", and moving on with my life to other stuff.

A cynical lunch

“Whew, what an eventful day,” Pocket Pair thought to himself as he made his way into the school’s cafeteria. “I swear, the way stuff is going so far here I’ll be surprised if Steve Wilkos isn’t throwing a chair at someone here and yelling at them to get off his stage by day’s end,” he laughed at the thought of that, then shook his head and got in the lunch line.

After getting his sustenance ; an apple, orange juice, chicken noodle soup, and a bag of spicy chips called Blair’s Death Rain Habanero chips from a detour at the vending machine (seriously, those are absurdly hot, I’ll never know why my school found it a good idea to have them in the vending machine...), he looked around, and suddenly realized he didn’t have anyone to sit with.

“Well this sucks…. I don’t know anyone here… and that means I don’t have anyone I can sit with.” He then pondered for a second and thought “Hmm, maybe I could just ask someone I don’t know if I could sit with them… “, but he quickly sighed at the intimidating prospect of that. “Yeah, you know what, on second thought… maybe I’ll just wait until tomorrow… or next week... or maybe the heat death of the universe. “ he thought, before he made a beeline to an empty table and sat down. He sighed once again, and then made a move to begin eating, but before his food reached his mouth, he noticed a familiar lavender-skinned student entering the lunchroom and turning in his direction. “Oh, look who it is, Limestone yells a lot Pie,” he thought, immediately irritated as he recalled her aggressive behavior towards him that morning, and her lack of gratitude for how he had put himself in the line of fire to come to her aid. However, his anger turned into apprehension as soon as he noticed she was coming right at him, and looking at him with a glare. “Oh fuck, something tells me I’m about to be reacquainted with her sooner rather than later!”

Indeed, Limestone walked right up to his table, and crossed her arms, and said “Ohhh look who we have here?! It’s Mr. Hero from this morning!”

“For you information, that’s Mr. Hero CALL to you!” Pocket Pair said indignantly as he made a poker reference which went over Limestone’s head.

“Yeah… whatever,” Limestone replied, “What the hell are you doing at my table anyways? Don’t tell me you’re creeping on me trying to get in my pants again? Because I thought I made my answer pretty clear this morning!” .

“Oh come on, this bull again!?” Pocket Pair replied exasperated , “Seriously! All you’ve done to me so far is yell yell yell at me for literally no reason at all! And if you think I’d want to hit on you… or even SIT with you after how you acted towards me… you’re high as fuck, and not in the good way! Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to take my food and eat where I don’t have to worry about being harassed by you.” Pocket Pair said before he grabbed his tray and made to leave.

“Wait!” Limestone said, causing Pocket Pair to turn around.

“WHAT NOW!” Pocket Pair half shouted.

“Perhaps I was a little…. harsh, on you this morning.” Limestone replied, looking down at the floor.

“A little? A little?! Wow… if that isn’t an understatement I don’t know what is? What next, are you gonna tell me that the sinking of Titanic was only a little inconveinience to those on it too?!!?” Pocket Pair said cynically.

“You know what I mean smartass!” Limestone snapped, before shaking her head and saying “Whatever, point is, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to… in fact I might actually not hate it if you stayed....”

Pocket Pair, annoying, groaned and said “Well that depends… are you going to yell at me again over something silly?”

“I will… try not to” Limestone replied.

“Ugh...alright, fine… not like I have anywhere else to sit anyway. I swear though, one more outburst at me like that and I’m outta here!” Pocket Pair said as he sat back down. After he got situated, he laughed to himself, and muttered uder his breath “Heh, just my luck this is my reward for having dealt with those two jerks today…”

“Excuse me!? What did you just say!? Did I just hear you call me a JERK?” Limestone snapped at him.

“Ummm, nooooo,” he said “Though admittedly you’re moving closer to that territory every second you talk.” He thought to himself.“For your information, I was referring to those two bullies who got pwned by me today, this had nothing to do with you!

“Um, two? “Last I checked Diamond Tiara is only one person…you realize that right, or did you flunk math at some point?! ” Limestone stated.

“Yes, I am aware of that, and no I did NOT flunk math” Pocket Pair said, tempted to count to two on his middle fingers to her to prove it. “For your information, after I wrecked Miss Tiara, aka, the lackey backslash associate of Sunset Shimmer, I then proceeded to run into Sunset Shimmer, aka, the person she is a lackey backslash associate of, in my first class today, and after he started harassing someone too I ALSO wrecked her too!” Pocket Pair said proudly yet bitterly.

“Wait…. WHAT!?” Limestone said, shocked.

“I know right, isn’t it crazy how many of these obnoxious jerks there are in this place? If I didn’t know better I’d think this was a real life version of a fanfic site dedicated to My Little Pony I was once on where toxic people were everywhere and they continually acted out against others for their own gain without even the slightest regard to how it adversely affected them by doing things like spamming dislikes on fics they disliked for arbitrary reasons without even having the common courtesy to take a fraction of the time the writer took to edit and re-edit their work to its current state to actually explain themselves and the logic behind their actions, even when I literally asked them to in the author’s notes of the fic, and continuing it for so lonI had to disable ratings entirely just to get them to leave me alone and protect my own motivation and sanity.” Pocket Pair said. [HINT HINT] “But I digress. Not in any way specific example aside, that isn’t even the BEST part about it. The best thing was that, due to what I said to her, Sunset fucking swore in class, right in front of Ms. Harshwhinney no less, and that little ditty earned her a nice one way do not pass go do not collect $200 trip to the principal’s office. Heh, who knows; maybe if we’re lucky she got expelled!”

“You….. you fucking IMBECILE!” Limestone said, slamming her fists against the table.

Pocket Pair, taken aback by her outburst, cynically replied. “Well EXCUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! I thought you’d LIKE that I helped someone else besides just you, or are you actually secretly a fan of bullying except when it’s at your expense!... and I thought I told you to stop yelling at me!”

Limestone, facepalming, replied. “Don’t act like an imbecile and I won’t yell at you!”

“And just HOW pray tell is that acting like an imbecile you jerk!” Pocket Pair replied.

“First of all, don’t call me a jerk you IMBECILE!” Limestone angrily replied, “And second of all, if you knew anything about ANYTHING you’d know that you DON’T mess with Sunset Shimmer! Why, you’re lucky she didn’t” But Limestone’s sentence was cut short as the doors to the cafeteria slammed open, and Sunset Shimmer herself stepped in, angrily began stomping towards the popular kid’s table with Snips and Snails close behind..

“Unbelievable, FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! Detention for a fucking month! That bitch Celestia will rue the day she messed with Sunset Motherfucking Shimmer!” Sunset half said and half shouted to herself.

“I thought your middle name was Flanders…” Snails said inquisitively.

Sunset, wide eyed at Snails’ comment, half shouted again “ Oh shut the hi diddly fucking ho up Snails!”

Meanwhile, Limestone, acting quickly, grabbed Pocket Pair and pushed him under the table just as Sunset turned in their direction to go to her table.

“OW! Hey, what the hell are you doing?” Pocket Pair said, before Limestone covered his mouth over and glared at him.

“Saving your ass dipshit!” Limestone said angrily. “If Sunset Shimmer sees you she’ll make sure you regret ever standing up to her like that…”

“Oh come on, surely you’re overre” Pocket Pair replied, but his reply was cut short.

“I am NOT overreacting!” Limestone replied angrily. “Why the hell would you assume that!?”

“Really… is that so? Well forgive me then for not realizing this is the one time your reaction was in line with what someone did or said to you…” Pocket Pair replied cynically.

“I’m serious so cut it out with the sarcasm damnit!” Limestone replied, “Sunset Shimmer runs this school, she has for a long time. And if anyone, and I do mean ANYONE, does anything to even remotely threaten that, she will make SURE to do whatever it takes to ‘convince’ them never to do it again. Capiche?”

“‘Convince’.... What is she like a mafioso or something? Is Don Sunset ‘The Pony’ Shimmer going to make me an offer I can’t refuse and send a package with a fish in it to my parents to let me know I sleep with the fishes?” Pocket Pair replied.

“Yes…..ok, maybe she’s not quite that extreme, but with what she does do to she’ll make you wish she had done that thing you mentioned!” Limestone said.

Pocket Pair, still a bit skeptical, said, “Ok… fine, I’ll try to keep a low profile around her from now on. I still think you’re overreacting though given this specific situation. Sunset Shimmer seems to be more pissed at the staff for her detention than anyone else. Plus, in all honesty, I don’t think she even knows I was the one who spoke out against her. She was facing away when I said it after all.”

“.... Are you sure about that?!” Limestone replied.

“Yeah. You can trust me, I’m a poker player!” Pocket Pair replied. “I do suppose I should thank you for being cautious though, so um, thanks.” Pocket Pair replied.

“Yeah whatever, just stop being so thick will you? I don’t want to make saving your ass a regular habit or anything…” Limestone replied irritated as Pocket Pair came out from under the table.

“Ok, first of all, I saved YOUR ass this morning if you recall, so if anything you’re just even now….” Pocket Pair replied… “Second, you only saved me once, not a bunch of times like you implied where it’s some sort of trend, and FINALLY, stop insulting me all the time! It’s rude!”

“Well maybe you’d stop ACTING in a way that deserves to be insulted I wouldn’t keep insulting you!” Limestone replied, and Pocket Pair replied by majorly rolling his eyes.

Just then, Limestone’s stomach growled, and she said “Well anyways, now that that matter is resolved… I have to go and actually get some food, you think you can handle yourself without my supervision for a few minutes?”

“Yes, I think I can handle it mother,” Pocket Pair cynically replied.

“You damn well better, that’s all I can say smartass!” Limestone replied, before she took her leave.

As she left, Pocket Pair mockily said “You damn well better!” behind her back. “I swear… what is the deal with her attitude anyways?!” He then shook his head and looked around to clear his thoughts… and as he did, his eyes caught sight of a familiar female with white skin and perfect curly purple locks. It was the “Rarity” he had seen that morning and had become smitten by, and his mood immediately improved significantly. “Alright, we have the same lunch period, that will make talking to her SO much easier than relying on getting the nerve to do it based on a random encounter in the halls. I mean I suppose I could do it in a class with her too, but the. i have to worry about the teach getting mad and calling me out for it, so yeah, this is 6.02 times ten to the twenty third power easier, at least if my calculations are correct.. But how am I going to?”

“What are you looking at?” Limestone’s voice interrupted his thoughts as she returned to the table and sat down.

“Oh, um…. nothing,” Pocket Pair said as he turned away and blushed.

“Uh huh… sure.” Limestone replied suspiciously.

“Um… so uh anyway, Limestone, who is that, um, female of the species homo sapien over there anyway?.” Pocket Pair nervously replied, trying to change the subject.

“Um… I speak English you realize ?” Limestone replied, annoyed.

“Um. you know, that girl over there.” Pocket Pair said shrugging.

“Girl over there hmm,” Limestone replied deadpan… “Well judging by the fact that that includes literally HALF the people in this rook, , I think you’re going to need to be a smidge more specific if you want an accurate answer there genius.” .

“Um…. well, she has curly purple hair, white skin, a big…. um affinity for purple eye shadow,” Pocket Pair said, pointing at her to give Limestone an idea where to look.

Limestone, looking towards Sunset’s table, caught sight of who he was talking about and said “You mean the one sitting at the same table as Bowser?”

“Bowser?” Pocket Pair replied, “Who is Bowser?.”

“Bowser is who I refer to Sunset Shimmer as sometimes due to their fiery personality and bad attitude….” Limestone replied. “That way she doesn’t know when I’m talking about her.”

“Ah… ok, that actually makes sense now that I think about it. and yes, that would be the female of the species homo sapien I was referring to.” Pocket Pair said.

“”Ok then, that would be Rarity Belle…” Limestone replied.

“Wait… Rarity Belle… as in her name is ACTUALLY Rarity?” Pocket Pair said.

“Ummmm…. Yeah.” Limestone said, “Not sure why you sound surprised, it’s certainly no more unusual than Pocket Pair or Limestone...”

“My name isn’t actually…. Er um nevermind. Limestone… if one was to want to say…. Get to know her… what would be the best way to go about it… in your honest opinion?” Pocket Pair said.

“First of all, I highly doubt you want to know MY honest opinion. And second, what’s the deal with her anyway? It’s like you’re obsessed or...” Limestone said, before her eyes widened and she said,” Wait… oh my gosh…. you have a crush on her don’t you?”

“Ummmm, no I don’t” Pocket Pair said, turning away and blushing again.

“Uh huh, sure, I TOTALLY believe you in spite of your highly suspicious behavior now and earlier when you first brought her up… no really, I do!” Limestone cynically replied.

“Do I detect a hint of sarcasm,” Pocket Pair said, getting irritated.

“Oh me, no way!” Limestone replied “And in other news I’m also secretly a pony from another dimension with a half of a lime and two stones tattooed on both sides of my ass and my sister is a hero who saved the land many times!”

“Ok… I get it, you can cut the snark now!” Pocket Pair replied.

“Ugh, fine….” Limestone said… “Joking aside though I’d get that idea out of your head if I were you. Rarity is one of the most popular kids in this school… and she’d never give someone like you the time of day!”

“Hey, rude much!” Pocket Pair said.

“The truth is rude sometimes!” Limestone replied, “ And the truth is that the odds of ANY of those popular kids going out with someone like us are a million to one!”.

“.... So you’re sayin there’s a chance.” Pocker Pair replied.

“Ha ha ha” Limestone replied cynically… “Tell me, are you dumb or dumber to make that quote here?”

“Hey, it fit perfectly, I had to!” Pocket Pair rertorted, “And in any case certainly my odds must be at least SOMEWHAT better than that, I mean heck, even that lowly 72 offsuit has about 12 percent equity against the mighty pocket aces if you get it all in preflop?”

“Ummmm, I did just tell you I speak English a minute ago did I not?” Limestone replied.

“Oh, you know, it’s from poker,.” Pocket Pair replied. “You see 72 is the worst hand and aces is…, whatever, it’s not important. What’s important is that it means even riffraff can strike gold sometimes, so how can you be so down on me and assume I have no chance? I guarantee she’d like me if I could talk to her a bit.”

“Heh… as someone who has talked to you a bit… I wouldn’t be so sure of that…” Limestone replied.

“Excuse me?” Pocket Pair replied angrily

“Oh come on, I was joking, don’t get so worked up!” Limestone replied. “And in any case, what I mean is good luck even getting her to so much as LOOK your way! She’s always surrounded by her popular entourage or football horn dogs trying to take her out all the time. Though then again, given how obsessed you were with trying to be my knight in shining armor to try and bone me earlier, if you could get on the football team you might just fit right in after all!

“Hey! Cut that out!” Pocket Pair angrily replied, “I told you that wasn’t the reason I helped you a million times already!”

“Yeah, sure, I believe you, no really!” Limestone replied, snark back in full force.

“I MEAN IT!” Pocket Pair snapped.

“Oh come on… Chill out will you, I was just joking again! You really need to get a sense of humor...”
Just then, the lunch bell rang, and Limestone and most other students in the room began leaving for their next class. “Anyways, I gotta get going to my next class now so I won’t be late. I’ll, see you later Pocket Poonhound,” she cynically replied and chuckled at her little joke, before she left the table, deposited her tray, and exited the room.

“Pocket Poonhound… I really don’t know what to think of that Limestone Pie!” Pocket Pair muttered to himself angrily. “On the one hand she did try to help me from Sunset, but on the other… ugh, she is SO abrasive. It’s like she grew up on a rock farm or something!” He then shook his head, and followed the suit (poker pun not intended) of the rest of the students, and headed off to his next class, study hall.

Upon getting there, he took a seat, and looked around the room. Most of the students, save Ditzy Doo from his first class, he didn’t recognize, though it was clear at a glance that, like him, many of them had some sort of disability, though in their cases many of them manifested themselves more visibly than his did. However, he didn’t have much more time to ponder anything as the teacher, a 30 something with pinkish skin, walked into the room and said, in a high pitched sing-song voice. “Hello everyone, my name is Miss Cheerilee, and welcome to study hall. I’ll be your teacher for this semester…”

“And I shall be her assistant,” another sing songie voice with a British accent said, and as Pocket Pair turned to its source… he saw it belonged to …. who else but Quagmire… er um Rarity. “My name is Rarity Belle, and we’re going to have a great semester here in study hall! If you need anything please let me know darlings!”

“And the same goes for me… we’re here to help you.” Miss Cheerilee said, as she handed out the syllabus, and began to go through it.

Pocket Pair, however, kept his head down and was too preoccupied with dismaying thoughts to be able to really pay any attention to what was being said. “Crap crap crap crap CRAP! Out of all the people helping out this class why does it have tk be her? Once she sees I’m disabled, I’m fucked! No way she’d EVER see me as anything more than someone less than her, not by how she’s using that sing-song voice with the class. This fucking sucks Drew Pickles’ balls.”

“No, I can’t give up!” Pocket Pair thought” There must be SOMETHING I can do despite this unfortunate development. I mean heck, crazier shit’s happened in movies right? Surely there must be SOME chance to get the girl for me!”

“Excuse me, are you paying attention?” Cheerilee said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Um, yeah… just processing what you said Miss Cheerilee,” Pocket Pair said, trying to keep his face turned away from Rarity as he did.

“Ok, just checking” Cheerilee said, before she returned to reading the syllabus to the class.

Meanwhile, Pocket Pair made a mental note to research answers to this issue once he got home, and began looking at the syllabus like he was following along, though he was honestly more focused on trying to keep himself from being too bored at hearing the same information for the fiftieth time that day.