Whiskey Businessby WheezyandbreezyChaptersWhiskey Business Chapter 1Whiskey Business Chapter 2Whiskey Business Chapter 3Whiskey Business Chapter 4,Whiskey Business Chapter 6Whiskey Business Chapter 5Whiskey Business Chapter 1Rainbow dash looked down from her cloud perch, and thought on how to expend her 10,000 calories per day as usual. "Damn that purple egghead for making me learn what calories are," she mused to herself. Rainbow had already gone through her warm up, and her "awesome but easy" repertoire, and was starting to get bored. Before she could think to do the unthinkable, that is to quit early, she heard a familiar rural drawl calling up to her. "Howdy Dash, come down here and jaw with me for a spell." It was Applejack her best friend and fiercest rival. Rainbow with her love of speed, lack of patience, and general dislike of keeping ponies waiting, especially her friends, swooped down the 30 yards faster than was necessary and caused Applejack's hat to fly off of her head with her back draft. Which Rainbow also loved to do. Putting down the basket she held in her teeth she dusted off her signature Stetson and placed it on its proper perch. Rainbow Dash was mildly disappointed to not see the usual scowl elicited when she knocked off Applejack's hat. Instead Applejack seemed pensive, as if she had something uncomfortable on her mind. Rather than pursuing this train of thought however, she opted to question the contents of the basket now sitting on the dirt road. "Hey A.J. what's up? What'cha got there?" She started to lift the linen cloth covering the basket's contents, but Applejack snatched up the basket before the contents of the mysterious parcel could be identified. "Not Here!" Applejack barked, sidling closer and adopting a conspiratorial air. "If Berry Punch caught wind of this I'd never hear the end of it." On the other side of Ponyville at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch's ear twitched. Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide. The name Berry Punch could mean only one thing. "You've got Ci~". Applejack quickly shoved a hoof into Rainbow's mouth. "SHHHH!" Applejack's grimace quickly softened. "Better," she breathed wiggling her eyebrows. "What'cha got goin the rest of the day?" "Better than ci~"Rainbow dash caught herself before she could be shushed. "Oh uh nothing. I was actually just starting to get bored." Applejack broke into a grin. "Well then how's about you n' me mosey on over to the creek by the South field, just the two of us?" "That sounds AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash shouted barely able to contain her excitement. "Well alright!" Applejack said voice shaking. A part of Rainbow Dash noticed Applejack's unusual demeanor, but the rest of her brain was chanting "Booze! Booze! Booze! Booze! Booze!" The two mares trotted quickly into the orchard, one thinking of the drunken debauch ahead, the other thinking of nothing but the mare beside her, and the ordeal looming in front of her. Author's Note This is my first fanfic so please don't skimp on the criticism. And remember I thrive on negative reinforcement so do be harsh. Whiskey Business Chapter 2Applejack and Rainbow Dash settled down by the cool water of the small stream that formed the Apple family's southern border. Applejack put the basket behind her and spread the linen table cloth on the soft grass with deliberate slowness, fussing like Rarity over every little detail. Rainbow knew she was doing it on purpose, but that only made it worse. Come On Applejack!" "Out with it already!" Rainbow whined. "Hold your horses. Somethin like this has to be savored." Applejack smirked as she slowly, painfully, inch by inch revealed the neck of a glass bottle. Rainbow Dash flitted between giddy excitement and frothing rage at her friend's impertinence. "OH COME O~" she had started to shout, but Applejack suddenly jerked the bottle into view and Rainbow Dash was struck dumb with shock. Applejack was smugly wiggling a 750 ml bottle of Apple family triple distilled barrel aged apple whiskey. Rainbow Dash was floored. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She had never seen something so awesome since the last time she had looked in the mirror. "Whu whu ho~" was all rainbow Dash could stutter out. Applejack popped the cork and took a small sip, carelessly letting one small drop trace it's way down her muzzle to her neck. Rainbow Dash eyed the drop greedily. Applejack grunted and smiled at the old familiar burn. "Hoowee that's the good stuff." She passed the bottle to Rainbow Dash who took a swig that was imprudently large. Her eyes swam as the not unpleasant heat filled her throat and face. The only way she could think to describe it was like drinking fresh liquid rainbow but made out of apples. Rainbow coughed violently while passing the bottle back to her friend who couldn't contain her giggles. "That's why they call it sipping whiskey, sugar cube." She took a long pull from the bottle and Rainbow couldn't help but be impressed by how well Applejack could handle her liquor, but just before she could say so Applejack coughed and spluttered. "Ha!" Rainbow Dash spat "Not so easy, is it?" this time taking a sensibly smaller sip of the liquid fire. "That is smooth." "Shoot," Applejack finally catching her breath rejoined, "this ain't nothing compared to Granny's secret Apple moonshine, that stuff'll buck ya right into next week." "Sounds cool." Rainbow Dash choked out trying not to cough after her latest swig. "Can't get anything like this in Cloudsdale" Applejack stopped before taking another sip. "Why's that" Applejack asked putting the bottle down for the first time since opening it. "Oh" the blue pegasus disembled not wanting to give the real reason. "Because it's hard enough to walk drunk much less fly, plus alcohol hits you harder at higher altitudes so it's way easy to overdo it for Pegasus." "Oh" the orange mare started to seem nervous again. "Well since you're on the ground you should be fine right?" "Puh lease A.J. I think a pony of my awesomeness can han~." She was cut off in the act of rising to strike a dramatic pose by flopping ungracefully onto her side. Applejack let out a creaking cackling drunken chortle as Rainbow Dash tried to settle herself. Normally wounded pride would've caused the Wonderbolt to be upset at being the source of ridicule but her frown quickly gave way to her own innebriated laughter. The two laughed until their sides hurt enjoying the sensation the alcohol produced. Eventually the raucous laughter died down and Applejack became suddenly pensive, as if remembering something of great moment. The fall had made Rainbow Dash notice the alcohol kicking in. She didn't even register that Applejack had started talking again. Opting instead to gently sway back and forth enjoying her drunken stupor. Eventually the stream of word noise made it's way into a now very drunken Rainbow Dash's brain but instead of the pleading tear laden confession that Applejack was pouring out all that reached her was a babbling incoherent ramble. "What is she on about?" Rainbow thought to herself. She turned to look fully at her friend to try to deduce what was so damned important when she finally noticed that Applejack was crying. HARD. Rainbow Dash was nonplussed. This didn't make sense! This is Applejack, the pony who cries on the inside. Rainbow thought to herself "weren't we just laughing our plots off, where'd this come from?" Rainbow staggered to her hooves. She tried to ask what the matter was but all she got out before Applejack bolted was "Applejack wh~." The crying mare was now in full, if slightly off center, gallop. Rainbow tried to give chase but stumbled the opposite direction into the creek. "AAH FUCK YOU WATER." She regained her hooves and was pleased to find herself managing a trot in the general direction Applejack had galloped off towards when she ran SMACK into a low branch she hadn't noticed. "AAAH FUCK YOU TREE." With one last heroic effort she regained her hooves. She managed a whole two steps before slowly lazily her front hooves buckled under her and her back hooves walked over them until she was lying on her back facing the sky she loved so much. "FUCK . . . You . . . sky." Her righteous indignation at all creation around her was halted as she heard the sound of a phone ringing in her head. "Hellooo" she called out hesitantly. "Hi boss this is your liver, just wanted to let you know someone up there must have accidentally sent a whole bunch of C2H5OH we don't need so I took the liberty of sending back for you, TOODLES" and the line went dead. "C2H5OH" Rainbow muttered to herself. "Wait! I know that one that's AlcoHUUu." The triumph of Twilight Sparkle's subliminal science lessons was interrupted by Rainbow Dash vomiting profusely. "Damn that purple egghe~" another wretch. "Oh fuck! That is way smoother on the way in!" She wretched again and all quips or snippets of laconic wit long gone. After an agonizing few minutes she finally regained enough composure to begin to scream "FUCK YOU APPL~" she gasped "APPLEJACK!" She had finally remembered that her best friend had just taken off crying. It then hit her that she now had no bearing on which direction she had run off towards. . . "DAMMMMMMIT" she drunkenly slurred. Rainbow Dash, the most coordinated pony in Equestria, couldn't seem to find her hooves. The element of loyalty was not to be deterred however. If she couldn't walk she was sure as tartarus below going to crawl. She started dragging her way vaguely in the direction she thought Applejack galloped away in. An assertion in which she was mistaken of course. Whiskey Business Chapter 3Twilight Sparkle crown princess of Equestria had almost anything a pony could ask for. She had royalty, good family, a castle, and wonderful friends. What she lacked from time to time however was a castle that wasn't filled with the raucous laughter and cheering from Spike's Ogres and oubliettes sessions. Even her strongest sound proof spells were easy prey for Discord's harmless brand of mischief. So she had taken a page out of Rainbow Dash's book and was sitting comfortably on a cloud drifting lazily over Sweet Apple Acres trying to puzzle out why the mad Saddle Arabian Abdul Al Hazroan was so on about tentacles in his Necrotroticon. She was just about to accidently summon the dread god Neigharlathotep when she heard the drunken screaming of a certain rather inconsiderate pony. "I am never gonna get through this thing" she whined to herself. She teleported the forbidden tome back to the library and slipped off her cloud perch. Berry Punch's drunken shenanigans were usually harmless. With the exception of that incident with her crown, it had taken weeks to clean up all that peanut butter. But Berry Punch had paid her fine and hadn't caused any trouble since then. This however was too far. If she was loud enough to be disturbing her thirty yards in the air, she was certainly loud enough to be considered a public nuisance, especially in sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family, friendly though they were, did not take kindly to trespass from ponies looking to steal their cider. As she drifted regally down her eminent gaze fell not upon the local wine critic, but rather on the town weather pony. Twilight quickened her pace, flapping over to her friend's side as fast as her wings would carry her. " Rainbow oh my gosh are you o~." Her concern was cut off by a cough and a gag. Rainbow Dash positively wreaked of whiskey and vomit. She covered her muzzle with her mane to cover up the smell and continued her inquest. "Rainbow what's going on?" The innebriate leered up at the unexpected voice and saw her best book buddy Twilight. "Heeeey Twilight!" She finally found her hooves and hugged Twilight around the neck, much to the princess' disgust. "HEY TWILIGHT!" her tone suddenly hardening. "WhY dO I knOw whuh C2H5OH is huh?" Twilight taken off guard by this sudden interrogation could only stammer. "Well you know, uhm you you you've been reading a lot recently and uhm maybe you just picked it up somewhere." Twilight looked around guiltily. "How could she have found out I was so careful" she thought to herself frantically. "Wait hold on WHY ARE YOU BLIND DRUNK?!" She shouted remembering the more important matter at hand. "Oh it was great" Rainbow Dash's mood seemed to swing wildly in this state. "It was just me and." She gasped with the memory. "Applejack! I gotta find Applejack!" She tried to push past Twilight but started to fall over instead. Twilight caught Rainbow Dash up in her magic and looked her innebrieated as close as she could in the face. " Explain what's going on first." "Okay one second." Rainbow Dash leaned her head slightly and gently vomited. Twilight Sparkle barely had time to turn Rainbow away from her with her magic. "Bleh, anyways so there I was I had just completed my triple axle divebomb thunder Cannon that I had learned from spitfire herself after I became a lead pony then I." Twilight's eyebrows slowly lowered. Rainbow Dash's Pinkie Pie was showing. "And then we got sundaes and then the." Twilight put a hoof over Rainbow's mouth. "Just get to the part about APPLEJACK!" She pleaded. "APPLEJACK!" Rainbow Dash shouted for the third time in five minutes. "Yes Applejack" Twilight echoed. "What's wrong with her is she in danger? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Twilight's patience was thoroughly expended and her growing alarm for her friends was making her irritable. "Me and Applejack were drinking Apple whiskey." Across town at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch's head popped off the table. "And then Applejack just ran off crying out of nowhere." "Poor Applejack!" Twilight started to pace around Rainbow Dash's floating form making her dizzy. "What could've set her off like that?" "Twilight please stop." Rainbow Dash moaned. "I mean we've all drank before and Applejack never seemed like a sad drunk." "TWILIGHT PLEASE!" "Now she could be anywhere and." Rainbow Dash vomited just in front of Twilight's pacing, snapping her out of her revelry. "Okay you're too drunk to do anything so you're going to the hospital Missy" "No, fuck you." A feebly protesting Rainbow Dash muttered. Twilight started off at a trot towards Ponyville clinic an annoyed grimace on her face but only concern for her friend on her mind. Rainbow Dash tried to flap her wings to make her feel like she was just choosing to fly next to Twilight rather than be dragged along by her. Whiskey Business Chapter 4,After an obnoxiously long walk, as Twilight didn't trust herself enough to fly and hold Rainbow Dash in her magic at the same time, the Ponyville clinic finally came into view. "Alright Rainbow we'll just get you checked in and then I can start loo~". "RAINBOW DAAAASH!" a piercing shout that shook the ground, and echoed in the distance. It hit the two ponies like a thunder clap and stopped them dead in their tracks. It was Fluttershy of all ponies. The normally shy and timid pony had shown multiple times in the past that she knew how to strike fear into the hearts of ponies, minotaurs, and in at least one case a dragon. She was stomping towards them a scowl on her face and a look of sheer doom in her eyes. Somepony was in a lot of trouble and it seemed that pony was Rainbow Dash. "Hi Fluttershy!" Rainbow shouted uncomfortably close to Twilight's ear. The alcohol in her system made her not notice the hurricane trotting towards her. There's a reason they call it liquid courage. Twilight tried to intercept the oncoming storm with a "Fluttershy what's wr~." "WHAT DID YOU DO TO APPLEJACK?!" The incarnate fury roared in her high airy voice. "FUCK YOU FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow spat out instantly. "Rainbow!" Twilight Sparkle scolded. Even Fluttershy's righteous indignation was halted for a moment by the suddenness of the response. "What she yelled at me" Rainbow muttered apathetically. Twilight Sparkle put a hoof to the side of her muzzle in frustration. She was not ready for today. All she wanted to do was read some dark forbidden lore. Now she was stuck in the middle of this fuster cluck. She inhaled sharply to recenter herself. "Fluttershy what's wrong?" Twilight Sparkle asked hoping to get the ball rolling. "I found Applejack weeping and losing her mind on Apple whiskey." Across town at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch burst through the double doors. "She was drunk out of her mind and ranting about Rainbow Dash. I tried to calm her down but she wouldn't put the bottle down. I couldn't understand her through the intoxication, tears and." Fluttershy grew closer to her usual shy demeanor. "Her accent. I'd never seen hr like this so I managed to get my fuzzy friend here." a grizzly bear in the distance waved to the assembled ponies. "To carry her to the hospital." Twilight Sparkle reflected subconsciously that's it's terribly rude to bring a wild animal into a hospital, but her fore brain congratulated Fluttershy on being so resourceful. "Wait so Applejack's at the hospital? Thank Celestia, we were so worried." Twilight started to resume her trot towards the hospital but Fluttershy stomped a hoof at her, sense of Justice not yet satisfied. "That still doesn't explain why Rainbow Dash made her cry!" "Calm down Fluttershy, Rainbow doesn't know either. And we're not going to be able to make heads or tails of this situation until both of them are sober." Fluttershy glanced at the ground in consideration . "Well then let's get her inside." Fluttershy dismissed Lord Beartholomew Bearington of Witherfreth and they trotted over then entered the the automatic double doors. Twilight was going to call out to a doctor to explain the situation but a nurse wearing a nervous smile came up with a hospital bed for Rainbow Dash before she could open her mouth. Twilight could only mutter "Thank" under her breath before the realization hit her. Everypony. From the doctors, to the nurses, to the mares clutching their foals close to them was staring in abject terror. She was concerned she had done something wrong when another leap of logic took place. They weren't staring at her, they were staring at Fluttershy. Gentle, quiet, reserved Fluttershy. What could they be scared of fro. . . . She suddenly remembered the absolute singularity of doom that had been her friend just a few short minutes ago. That combined with the fact that she brought a FUCKING. GRIZZLY. BEAR. into a hospital, and suddenly everyone's terror was suddenly understandable. Twilight adopted an embarrassed grin and waved sheepishly while the offending pony in question, righteous mission completed, tried her best to hide behind her hair from all the fearful stares. Twilight felt the gentlest of taps at her shoulder. "Princess Twilight?" One of the doctors quavered. "We put miss Rainbow Dash in the same room with miss Applejack, i i is that alright?" The doctor flinched and cowered behind his clipboard as if he was going to be struck. Twilight did her best to diffuse the situation. "Yes yes that's perfect thank you doctor thank you very much." She said in her most comforting conciliatory voice. She put a hoof on the doctor's shoulder and he relaxed slightly. Regaining a bit of his professional medical composure. "Well right this way ladies." He said still not looking at Fluttershy. He led them to room 420 and said they could stay as long as they need. He then did his level best to flee with any kind of dignity. Twilight cracked open the door slightly and saw the pair of innebrieates sleeping gently. I.V.s replenishing the fluids they had both lost from alcohol poisoning, machines beeped softly, the blinds were closed to let the two sleep, and all appeared as it should. Twilight closed the door and heaved a small sigh of relief that the worst was over. Fluttershy started to say something but all that came out was a small squeak when Twilight Sparkle rounded on her and asked in a low but very intense voice. "What was all that in the waiting room?!" Why was everypony staring at you like you were about to attack them?" Fluttershy pawed at the ground as she always did while explaining something she wasn't terribly comfortable with. Which was most things. "Well I couldn't carry Applejack by myself so I asked Lord Beartholomew Bearington of Witherfreth to carry her. I got through the doors before him and explained that Applejack needed help but the." Fluttershy dug through her mind for the worst thing she could call a pony. She whispered the word as if saying it, even when used properly, was still uncouth "jerk! at the reception desk said 'this is a clinic not a drunk tank. Take your lowlife friend somewhere else'. So I said 'listen Missy this pony has saved Equestria more times than you can count. Now she needs your help', and that's then Lord Bearington walked in and noticed that I was arguing with the receptionist so he started growling. He's very defensive about his friends. Then I said 'and she's gonna get it, or you're gonna get it!'" Twilight Sparkle was crouched against the wall taking shelter behind her wing. Fluttershy's recital had included both historically accurate voices and choreography. Twilight knew from experience that Fluttershy could be scary when she wanted to be, and was delighted that she was being more assertive but they'd have to have a serious talk about brandishing a bear when someone is less than cordial with you. "Well the first part of this is over. Once they're sober we can sit down and hammer this whole thing out." Twilight and Fluttershy both got comfortable on the bench outside the door and Twilight put her spinning head in her hooves. "What do you think happened? I mean we know Applejack. She'd never put herself in a way that she couldn't work, and I guarantee you if you're drunk enough to go to the hospital means you won't be at work tomorrow." Fluttershy nodded along with Twilight's train of thought. She knew when Twilight was in this state of mind input wouldn't be acknowledged but if you listen and follow along eventually she would get there. "And Apple whiskey!". On the ground floor of Ponyville clinic Berry Punch burst through the door. "That's not a common spirit for the Apple family. They don't even make it every year like they do cider. This must have been a special occasion. I don't think she would've just breached a barrel and filled 267 individual bottles just for an afternoon of casual drinking. What could've possessed Applejack to go through all this trouble." Fluttershy knowing it was a long shot but trusting in her friend not to ignore her as they'd had many a twenty two minute adventures about it spoke up. "Well uhm Applejack in her uhm drunken flailing did keep saying something about uhm liquid courage." "Liquid courage?" Miracle of miracles Twilight heard outside input. "Why would Applejack, the second bravest pony in Equestria, need liquid courage?" The princess more considered the point than actually asked. A sound was heard in the room and Twilight got up and steeled herself for the uncomfortable ordeal ahead. "Okay I think they're awake let's try and be as understanding as possible these are our friends and our friendship is strong enough to survive ANY OBST~." Twilight's stirring oration was cut short by slamming the door that she had just cracked barely open. Twilight's face was glowing red. Fluttershy never got a chance to ask what the situation was because Twilight grabbed Fluttershy and squeaked "EVERYTHING SOLVED FOREVER", and teleported them both out of the hospital. A manic Berry Punch sprinted right to where they had been standing and cast her head around looking for the source of her craving. Seeing no Apple whiskey or anypony to interrogate for Apple whiskey she hung her head, grimaced, and muttered to herself discontentedly about the trail going cold. Whiskey Business Chapter 6Twilight decided not to complain about losing half a day and just be excited to finally get an explanation of what happened. At her familiar corner booth alongside a now calmed down Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and a literally vibrating with enthusiasm Rarity, who was acting more Pinkie Pie than Pinkie Pie. "Come on!" Rarity whined. "There's fashionably late and then there's just dragging out the suspense!" Finally the moment of truth arrived. The new couple walked in shoulder to shoulder tails entwined. Giggling from an untold joke in the way only lovers do. Rainbow trying to look Applejack in the eye and Applejack blushing like a school filly until she was redder than her brother. "Sooo?" Rarity said eye twitching with impatience. "Tell us a story" The new couple took their seats and Applejack began. "Well ah suppose it all started with the running of the leaves all those years ago. Somethin about that day changed the way ah looked at little thunder thighs here." Rainbow Dash slammed her hooves against the table and stood up blushing wildly. "Not in front of the girls Apple bottom! You promised!" Rarity and Pinkie Pie both let out a squeal that threatened to burst Twilight's ear drums. "You're already on pet names! It's so adorable I could just just" Rarity let loose with another squeal and that was officially the end of Twilight's patience with her. Twilight cast a one way sound proof bubble around Rarity. She then on second thought doubled the size of the bubble to include Pinkie Pie for good measure. She then steepled her hooves and calmly looked at the two love birds. "Now if you would please, Pretty Please, EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY BEFORE I KILL SOMEPONY!!!" Applejack crawled out from under the shelter of Rainbow Dash's wing where she had been hiding from Twilight's wrath. "Ahem, well I'd liked Rainbow for a good while now but bein in charge of the family farm I had to find a steady Earth stallion who could work the farm while I was rearin yungins. But with Big Mac settlin down with Sugar Belle I was finally free to be with whoever ah wanted." At this Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a firm nuzzle. The whole party, Rainbow Dash included, was silent with shock. "Applejack I had no idea! I'm so sorry." Twilight almost whispered. Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. "Tweren't nothin, duty to the family 'n all" "But Applejack, not being with the one you love that's, that's just awful!" Twilight pleaded. "Eh ah've had crushes in the past that didn't go nowhere, wasn't no trouble to like dash from afar." Applejack reasoned. "Get to the awesome part already!" Rainbow Dash whined. Applejack gave Rainbow a peck on the cheek which turned her into a blushing mess. The two silenced ponies hugged and let out another squeal mercifully silenced by the translucent lavender bubble around them. "Ahem well I got it into mah head to finally fess up but every time I tried I'd get tongue tied and couldn't get the words out. Well ah talked to Granny about it and after the initial shock wore off she gave me permission to breach a barrel. A little liquid courage to steel the soul Granny said. Well I decided to go about it like y'all would Twilight. Make a list n such. Step one get liquid courage, step two get Thund~." A gentle elbow to the ribs from Rainbow Dash for trying to use her pet name broke the flow of Applejack's narrative. "Just teasin R.D. " Rainbow Dash snuggled against her mare and Applejack wrapped a hoof around her very special somepony. "Well step two get RAINBOW DAAAASH" putting extra emphasis on each word. "Alone with me and the Apple whiskey and then." The doors to sugar cube corner burst inward. A very disgruntled Berry Punch stepped slowly deliberately towards the assembled ponies. "Where. Is. It." The ponies looked from one to the other looking for a clue to what she was talking about. " Where is THE FUCKING WHISKEY!" Twilight Sparkle was officially done. She grabbed Berry Punch by the waist and teleported to the Apple family wine cellar. She shoved a bottle into Berry Punch's hooves and teleported back. Berry Punch nodded and downed a third of the bottle before she had even left sugar cube corner. Applejack called after her. "I'll be by later for the thirty bits for that ya hear?" "Story time, NOW!" Twilight roared, eyes glowing, Royal Canterlot voice echoing, raw magic arcing of her horn singeing the furniture around her. Rainbow Dash came to the rescue speaking clearly but quickly. "So she invited me to polish off the bottle with her but I got way too drunk too fast and when she was confessing I was kind of spaced out." "Ah thought she was makin fun of me so ah ran off."Applejack said deflating slightly at the memory of that feeling of hopes dashed, dreams deferred. Fluttershy squeaked "Umm I hate to interrupt but umm that was really dangerous Rainbow Dash you could've died." Applejack looked at Fluttershy and raised an eyebrow? "But we were at ground level so the altitude shouldn't be an issue should it?" Applejack asked looking from pony to pony as if not understanding the rebuke. Rainbow Dash looked down and away knowing she was about to be in trouble. "Alcohol hits Pegasi much harder than Earth ponies Applejack. Has to do with an increased respiration and higher metabolism. If you're going to be dating a Pegasus you need to know these things." Twilight lectured. Applejack rounded on the offending pony. "Whah didn't you tell me Rainbow!" Applejack said voice staying to crack at the thought of losing the pony she loved. "You know me Applejack. I'm not gonna turn down a chance to drink with my favorite pony." She said this while tracing Applejack's face with her hoof and lifting her muzzle to a hair's breadth from her own. All Applejack could do was dreamily whisper "okay." The rest of the table chuckled about how thoroughly whipped Applejack, the normally stubborn hard headed pony,was. Even Twilight was ask in a chuckle at the display. Applejack regained a bit of her composure and sighed. "Ah guess that's why you didn't say anything when I told you I loved you." She chuckled to herself about the silliness of the whole situation "You were so out of it you probably didn't know your head from your hooves." "You don't know the half of it." Rainbow confirmed remembering her slow motion somersault. "So ah ran off and just happened to run across Fluttershah, and when she asked me what was wrong I spilled everything, but everytime I said Dash's name I took a drink so I ended up makin mahself sick." Applejack made a slight gag the memory of that instant still fresh in her mind. "Oh umm yes everything." She muttered trying not to look at Applejack. Between the country drawl, the alcohol, and the vomiting Fluttershy caught one word in three. "That's when I took her to the hospital." Fluttershy added to keep the flow of the narrative. "Then I brought Rainbow Dash to the hospital and then." Twilight Sparkle blushed and trailed off. "What uuhm what exactly happened in that hospital room?" Both Rainbow Dash and Applejack grinned at the memory of that magical moment. "Well I woke up first, and when I saw Applejack safe and sound I couldn't help but wrap my hooves around her. I had never been so concerned about anypony before. I didn't know why but I never wanted to let her go." The couple shared a short kiss. "Then Ah woke up and when I saw Rainbow holdin me everythin just kinda fell into place." The two looked intently at each other. "We looked into each other's eyes and then it just happened." The whole party was red faced at this point. Rarity and Pinkie were crying from the overpowering saccharine sweetness of it at. Fluttershy was buried in her mane and hooves. Twilight was very closely studying a nail on the floorboard. Rainbow was studying every aspect of Applejack's big green eyes, and Applejack was pressing her forehead against the pony she loved. "Then I couldn't help mahself I just kept sayin 'Ah love you,' 'ah love you!' 'Ah love you."She punctuated every sentence with a kiss. "Like ah was tryin to make up for lost time of wantin to say it and never gettin to do it." Rainbow Dash got a mischievous smile at that phrasing. "And speaking of doing it!" "NOPE!" Twilight snapped, grabbing the well since fainted Fluttershy and teleported them both out of Sugar cube corner. The magic bubble disappearing around the overly enthusiastic ponies. A small pop of purple magic burst over the table and a single piece of parchment floated down. All it said was "We're very happy for you." The remaining ponies erupted with laughter. "Awwww They left at the best part of the story" Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Don't worry sugar cube." It was Applejack's turn to don a mischievous smile. "We know where they live." Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. She put in her best Canterlot Noble voice. "Do go on then," and bit her lower lip. Whiskey Business Chapter 5Discord was the oubliette overlord and was unflinchingly defending his position that you can't polymorph a non living object and that a gollum is a sentient statue of clay and therefore not a living being. Spike was fuming, contending that gollum's are clearly alive because they can move, speak, talk, and think, and Discord was being a cheater mccheaterson just because he didn't give Discord an inspiration point for his pun about Salad dressing in their last session. Big Macintosh in his typical stoic fashion chose not to take sides instead opting to write out more vocabulary in his character's race's fictional language. The two ponies appeared directly over the table with a ball of violet light and a loud pop. Spike who had been standing in his chair leaning on the table shouting for the last ten minutes flinched backwards causing his chair to fall backwards, and sending him somersaulting across the floor hitting the back of his head against the wall. Big Mac glanced up once then immediately went back to vocabulary. Discord never to be surprised simply quipped. "It's about time you showed up. So Applejack finally got it over with then? Good for her they'll make a cute couple." "APPLEJACK WHUT?!" Big Mac finally giving a reaction. Twilight Sparkle gaped. "How the hay did?" She stopped herself already knowing the answer. "Right Discord got it." It was Fluttershy's turn to turn beet red. She was a sucker for romance and it occurring between two of her best friends was more than she could handle. "Damnit Discord now she's gonna be stuck like this the rest of the day." "Oh she'll be fine, anyway you've got a tea party to get to." Discord snapped his lion's paw and Twilight was transported to the next day at sugar cube corner.
Whiskey Business Chapter 1Rainbow dash looked down from her cloud perch, and thought on how to expend her 10,000 calories per day as usual. "Damn that purple egghead for making me learn what calories are," she mused to herself. Rainbow had already gone through her warm up, and her "awesome but easy" repertoire, and was starting to get bored. Before she could think to do the unthinkable, that is to quit early, she heard a familiar rural drawl calling up to her. "Howdy Dash, come down here and jaw with me for a spell." It was Applejack her best friend and fiercest rival. Rainbow with her love of speed, lack of patience, and general dislike of keeping ponies waiting, especially her friends, swooped down the 30 yards faster than was necessary and caused Applejack's hat to fly off of her head with her back draft. Which Rainbow also loved to do. Putting down the basket she held in her teeth she dusted off her signature Stetson and placed it on its proper perch. Rainbow Dash was mildly disappointed to not see the usual scowl elicited when she knocked off Applejack's hat. Instead Applejack seemed pensive, as if she had something uncomfortable on her mind. Rather than pursuing this train of thought however, she opted to question the contents of the basket now sitting on the dirt road. "Hey A.J. what's up? What'cha got there?" She started to lift the linen cloth covering the basket's contents, but Applejack snatched up the basket before the contents of the mysterious parcel could be identified. "Not Here!" Applejack barked, sidling closer and adopting a conspiratorial air. "If Berry Punch caught wind of this I'd never hear the end of it." On the other side of Ponyville at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch's ear twitched. Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide. The name Berry Punch could mean only one thing. "You've got Ci~". Applejack quickly shoved a hoof into Rainbow's mouth. "SHHHH!" Applejack's grimace quickly softened. "Better," she breathed wiggling her eyebrows. "What'cha got goin the rest of the day?" "Better than ci~"Rainbow dash caught herself before she could be shushed. "Oh uh nothing. I was actually just starting to get bored." Applejack broke into a grin. "Well then how's about you n' me mosey on over to the creek by the South field, just the two of us?" "That sounds AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash shouted barely able to contain her excitement. "Well alright!" Applejack said voice shaking. A part of Rainbow Dash noticed Applejack's unusual demeanor, but the rest of her brain was chanting "Booze! Booze! Booze! Booze! Booze!" The two mares trotted quickly into the orchard, one thinking of the drunken debauch ahead, the other thinking of nothing but the mare beside her, and the ordeal looming in front of her. Author's Note This is my first fanfic so please don't skimp on the criticism. And remember I thrive on negative reinforcement so do be harsh.
Whiskey Business Chapter 2Applejack and Rainbow Dash settled down by the cool water of the small stream that formed the Apple family's southern border. Applejack put the basket behind her and spread the linen table cloth on the soft grass with deliberate slowness, fussing like Rarity over every little detail. Rainbow knew she was doing it on purpose, but that only made it worse. Come On Applejack!" "Out with it already!" Rainbow whined. "Hold your horses. Somethin like this has to be savored." Applejack smirked as she slowly, painfully, inch by inch revealed the neck of a glass bottle. Rainbow Dash flitted between giddy excitement and frothing rage at her friend's impertinence. "OH COME O~" she had started to shout, but Applejack suddenly jerked the bottle into view and Rainbow Dash was struck dumb with shock. Applejack was smugly wiggling a 750 ml bottle of Apple family triple distilled barrel aged apple whiskey. Rainbow Dash was floored. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She had never seen something so awesome since the last time she had looked in the mirror. "Whu whu ho~" was all rainbow Dash could stutter out. Applejack popped the cork and took a small sip, carelessly letting one small drop trace it's way down her muzzle to her neck. Rainbow Dash eyed the drop greedily. Applejack grunted and smiled at the old familiar burn. "Hoowee that's the good stuff." She passed the bottle to Rainbow Dash who took a swig that was imprudently large. Her eyes swam as the not unpleasant heat filled her throat and face. The only way she could think to describe it was like drinking fresh liquid rainbow but made out of apples. Rainbow coughed violently while passing the bottle back to her friend who couldn't contain her giggles. "That's why they call it sipping whiskey, sugar cube." She took a long pull from the bottle and Rainbow couldn't help but be impressed by how well Applejack could handle her liquor, but just before she could say so Applejack coughed and spluttered. "Ha!" Rainbow Dash spat "Not so easy, is it?" this time taking a sensibly smaller sip of the liquid fire. "That is smooth." "Shoot," Applejack finally catching her breath rejoined, "this ain't nothing compared to Granny's secret Apple moonshine, that stuff'll buck ya right into next week." "Sounds cool." Rainbow Dash choked out trying not to cough after her latest swig. "Can't get anything like this in Cloudsdale" Applejack stopped before taking another sip. "Why's that" Applejack asked putting the bottle down for the first time since opening it. "Oh" the blue pegasus disembled not wanting to give the real reason. "Because it's hard enough to walk drunk much less fly, plus alcohol hits you harder at higher altitudes so it's way easy to overdo it for Pegasus." "Oh" the orange mare started to seem nervous again. "Well since you're on the ground you should be fine right?" "Puh lease A.J. I think a pony of my awesomeness can han~." She was cut off in the act of rising to strike a dramatic pose by flopping ungracefully onto her side. Applejack let out a creaking cackling drunken chortle as Rainbow Dash tried to settle herself. Normally wounded pride would've caused the Wonderbolt to be upset at being the source of ridicule but her frown quickly gave way to her own innebriated laughter. The two laughed until their sides hurt enjoying the sensation the alcohol produced. Eventually the raucous laughter died down and Applejack became suddenly pensive, as if remembering something of great moment. The fall had made Rainbow Dash notice the alcohol kicking in. She didn't even register that Applejack had started talking again. Opting instead to gently sway back and forth enjoying her drunken stupor. Eventually the stream of word noise made it's way into a now very drunken Rainbow Dash's brain but instead of the pleading tear laden confession that Applejack was pouring out all that reached her was a babbling incoherent ramble. "What is she on about?" Rainbow thought to herself. She turned to look fully at her friend to try to deduce what was so damned important when she finally noticed that Applejack was crying. HARD. Rainbow Dash was nonplussed. This didn't make sense! This is Applejack, the pony who cries on the inside. Rainbow thought to herself "weren't we just laughing our plots off, where'd this come from?" Rainbow staggered to her hooves. She tried to ask what the matter was but all she got out before Applejack bolted was "Applejack wh~." The crying mare was now in full, if slightly off center, gallop. Rainbow tried to give chase but stumbled the opposite direction into the creek. "AAH FUCK YOU WATER." She regained her hooves and was pleased to find herself managing a trot in the general direction Applejack had galloped off towards when she ran SMACK into a low branch she hadn't noticed. "AAAH FUCK YOU TREE." With one last heroic effort she regained her hooves. She managed a whole two steps before slowly lazily her front hooves buckled under her and her back hooves walked over them until she was lying on her back facing the sky she loved so much. "FUCK . . . You . . . sky." Her righteous indignation at all creation around her was halted as she heard the sound of a phone ringing in her head. "Hellooo" she called out hesitantly. "Hi boss this is your liver, just wanted to let you know someone up there must have accidentally sent a whole bunch of C2H5OH we don't need so I took the liberty of sending back for you, TOODLES" and the line went dead. "C2H5OH" Rainbow muttered to herself. "Wait! I know that one that's AlcoHUUu." The triumph of Twilight Sparkle's subliminal science lessons was interrupted by Rainbow Dash vomiting profusely. "Damn that purple egghe~" another wretch. "Oh fuck! That is way smoother on the way in!" She wretched again and all quips or snippets of laconic wit long gone. After an agonizing few minutes she finally regained enough composure to begin to scream "FUCK YOU APPL~" she gasped "APPLEJACK!" She had finally remembered that her best friend had just taken off crying. It then hit her that she now had no bearing on which direction she had run off towards. . . "DAMMMMMMIT" she drunkenly slurred. Rainbow Dash, the most coordinated pony in Equestria, couldn't seem to find her hooves. The element of loyalty was not to be deterred however. If she couldn't walk she was sure as tartarus below going to crawl. She started dragging her way vaguely in the direction she thought Applejack galloped away in. An assertion in which she was mistaken of course.
Whiskey Business Chapter 3Twilight Sparkle crown princess of Equestria had almost anything a pony could ask for. She had royalty, good family, a castle, and wonderful friends. What she lacked from time to time however was a castle that wasn't filled with the raucous laughter and cheering from Spike's Ogres and oubliettes sessions. Even her strongest sound proof spells were easy prey for Discord's harmless brand of mischief. So she had taken a page out of Rainbow Dash's book and was sitting comfortably on a cloud drifting lazily over Sweet Apple Acres trying to puzzle out why the mad Saddle Arabian Abdul Al Hazroan was so on about tentacles in his Necrotroticon. She was just about to accidently summon the dread god Neigharlathotep when she heard the drunken screaming of a certain rather inconsiderate pony. "I am never gonna get through this thing" she whined to herself. She teleported the forbidden tome back to the library and slipped off her cloud perch. Berry Punch's drunken shenanigans were usually harmless. With the exception of that incident with her crown, it had taken weeks to clean up all that peanut butter. But Berry Punch had paid her fine and hadn't caused any trouble since then. This however was too far. If she was loud enough to be disturbing her thirty yards in the air, she was certainly loud enough to be considered a public nuisance, especially in sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family, friendly though they were, did not take kindly to trespass from ponies looking to steal their cider. As she drifted regally down her eminent gaze fell not upon the local wine critic, but rather on the town weather pony. Twilight quickened her pace, flapping over to her friend's side as fast as her wings would carry her. " Rainbow oh my gosh are you o~." Her concern was cut off by a cough and a gag. Rainbow Dash positively wreaked of whiskey and vomit. She covered her muzzle with her mane to cover up the smell and continued her inquest. "Rainbow what's going on?" The innebriate leered up at the unexpected voice and saw her best book buddy Twilight. "Heeeey Twilight!" She finally found her hooves and hugged Twilight around the neck, much to the princess' disgust. "HEY TWILIGHT!" her tone suddenly hardening. "WhY dO I knOw whuh C2H5OH is huh?" Twilight taken off guard by this sudden interrogation could only stammer. "Well you know, uhm you you you've been reading a lot recently and uhm maybe you just picked it up somewhere." Twilight looked around guiltily. "How could she have found out I was so careful" she thought to herself frantically. "Wait hold on WHY ARE YOU BLIND DRUNK?!" She shouted remembering the more important matter at hand. "Oh it was great" Rainbow Dash's mood seemed to swing wildly in this state. "It was just me and." She gasped with the memory. "Applejack! I gotta find Applejack!" She tried to push past Twilight but started to fall over instead. Twilight caught Rainbow Dash up in her magic and looked her innebrieated as close as she could in the face. " Explain what's going on first." "Okay one second." Rainbow Dash leaned her head slightly and gently vomited. Twilight Sparkle barely had time to turn Rainbow away from her with her magic. "Bleh, anyways so there I was I had just completed my triple axle divebomb thunder Cannon that I had learned from spitfire herself after I became a lead pony then I." Twilight's eyebrows slowly lowered. Rainbow Dash's Pinkie Pie was showing. "And then we got sundaes and then the." Twilight put a hoof over Rainbow's mouth. "Just get to the part about APPLEJACK!" She pleaded. "APPLEJACK!" Rainbow Dash shouted for the third time in five minutes. "Yes Applejack" Twilight echoed. "What's wrong with her is she in danger? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Twilight's patience was thoroughly expended and her growing alarm for her friends was making her irritable. "Me and Applejack were drinking Apple whiskey." Across town at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch's head popped off the table. "And then Applejack just ran off crying out of nowhere." "Poor Applejack!" Twilight started to pace around Rainbow Dash's floating form making her dizzy. "What could've set her off like that?" "Twilight please stop." Rainbow Dash moaned. "I mean we've all drank before and Applejack never seemed like a sad drunk." "TWILIGHT PLEASE!" "Now she could be anywhere and." Rainbow Dash vomited just in front of Twilight's pacing, snapping her out of her revelry. "Okay you're too drunk to do anything so you're going to the hospital Missy" "No, fuck you." A feebly protesting Rainbow Dash muttered. Twilight started off at a trot towards Ponyville clinic an annoyed grimace on her face but only concern for her friend on her mind. Rainbow Dash tried to flap her wings to make her feel like she was just choosing to fly next to Twilight rather than be dragged along by her.
Whiskey Business Chapter 4,After an obnoxiously long walk, as Twilight didn't trust herself enough to fly and hold Rainbow Dash in her magic at the same time, the Ponyville clinic finally came into view. "Alright Rainbow we'll just get you checked in and then I can start loo~". "RAINBOW DAAAASH!" a piercing shout that shook the ground, and echoed in the distance. It hit the two ponies like a thunder clap and stopped them dead in their tracks. It was Fluttershy of all ponies. The normally shy and timid pony had shown multiple times in the past that she knew how to strike fear into the hearts of ponies, minotaurs, and in at least one case a dragon. She was stomping towards them a scowl on her face and a look of sheer doom in her eyes. Somepony was in a lot of trouble and it seemed that pony was Rainbow Dash. "Hi Fluttershy!" Rainbow shouted uncomfortably close to Twilight's ear. The alcohol in her system made her not notice the hurricane trotting towards her. There's a reason they call it liquid courage. Twilight tried to intercept the oncoming storm with a "Fluttershy what's wr~." "WHAT DID YOU DO TO APPLEJACK?!" The incarnate fury roared in her high airy voice. "FUCK YOU FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow spat out instantly. "Rainbow!" Twilight Sparkle scolded. Even Fluttershy's righteous indignation was halted for a moment by the suddenness of the response. "What she yelled at me" Rainbow muttered apathetically. Twilight Sparkle put a hoof to the side of her muzzle in frustration. She was not ready for today. All she wanted to do was read some dark forbidden lore. Now she was stuck in the middle of this fuster cluck. She inhaled sharply to recenter herself. "Fluttershy what's wrong?" Twilight Sparkle asked hoping to get the ball rolling. "I found Applejack weeping and losing her mind on Apple whiskey." Across town at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch burst through the double doors. "She was drunk out of her mind and ranting about Rainbow Dash. I tried to calm her down but she wouldn't put the bottle down. I couldn't understand her through the intoxication, tears and." Fluttershy grew closer to her usual shy demeanor. "Her accent. I'd never seen hr like this so I managed to get my fuzzy friend here." a grizzly bear in the distance waved to the assembled ponies. "To carry her to the hospital." Twilight Sparkle reflected subconsciously that's it's terribly rude to bring a wild animal into a hospital, but her fore brain congratulated Fluttershy on being so resourceful. "Wait so Applejack's at the hospital? Thank Celestia, we were so worried." Twilight started to resume her trot towards the hospital but Fluttershy stomped a hoof at her, sense of Justice not yet satisfied. "That still doesn't explain why Rainbow Dash made her cry!" "Calm down Fluttershy, Rainbow doesn't know either. And we're not going to be able to make heads or tails of this situation until both of them are sober." Fluttershy glanced at the ground in consideration . "Well then let's get her inside." Fluttershy dismissed Lord Beartholomew Bearington of Witherfreth and they trotted over then entered the the automatic double doors. Twilight was going to call out to a doctor to explain the situation but a nurse wearing a nervous smile came up with a hospital bed for Rainbow Dash before she could open her mouth. Twilight could only mutter "Thank" under her breath before the realization hit her. Everypony. From the doctors, to the nurses, to the mares clutching their foals close to them was staring in abject terror. She was concerned she had done something wrong when another leap of logic took place. They weren't staring at her, they were staring at Fluttershy. Gentle, quiet, reserved Fluttershy. What could they be scared of fro. . . . She suddenly remembered the absolute singularity of doom that had been her friend just a few short minutes ago. That combined with the fact that she brought a FUCKING. GRIZZLY. BEAR. into a hospital, and suddenly everyone's terror was suddenly understandable. Twilight adopted an embarrassed grin and waved sheepishly while the offending pony in question, righteous mission completed, tried her best to hide behind her hair from all the fearful stares. Twilight felt the gentlest of taps at her shoulder. "Princess Twilight?" One of the doctors quavered. "We put miss Rainbow Dash in the same room with miss Applejack, i i is that alright?" The doctor flinched and cowered behind his clipboard as if he was going to be struck. Twilight did her best to diffuse the situation. "Yes yes that's perfect thank you doctor thank you very much." She said in her most comforting conciliatory voice. She put a hoof on the doctor's shoulder and he relaxed slightly. Regaining a bit of his professional medical composure. "Well right this way ladies." He said still not looking at Fluttershy. He led them to room 420 and said they could stay as long as they need. He then did his level best to flee with any kind of dignity. Twilight cracked open the door slightly and saw the pair of innebrieates sleeping gently. I.V.s replenishing the fluids they had both lost from alcohol poisoning, machines beeped softly, the blinds were closed to let the two sleep, and all appeared as it should. Twilight closed the door and heaved a small sigh of relief that the worst was over. Fluttershy started to say something but all that came out was a small squeak when Twilight Sparkle rounded on her and asked in a low but very intense voice. "What was all that in the waiting room?!" Why was everypony staring at you like you were about to attack them?" Fluttershy pawed at the ground as she always did while explaining something she wasn't terribly comfortable with. Which was most things. "Well I couldn't carry Applejack by myself so I asked Lord Beartholomew Bearington of Witherfreth to carry her. I got through the doors before him and explained that Applejack needed help but the." Fluttershy dug through her mind for the worst thing she could call a pony. She whispered the word as if saying it, even when used properly, was still uncouth "jerk! at the reception desk said 'this is a clinic not a drunk tank. Take your lowlife friend somewhere else'. So I said 'listen Missy this pony has saved Equestria more times than you can count. Now she needs your help', and that's then Lord Bearington walked in and noticed that I was arguing with the receptionist so he started growling. He's very defensive about his friends. Then I said 'and she's gonna get it, or you're gonna get it!'" Twilight Sparkle was crouched against the wall taking shelter behind her wing. Fluttershy's recital had included both historically accurate voices and choreography. Twilight knew from experience that Fluttershy could be scary when she wanted to be, and was delighted that she was being more assertive but they'd have to have a serious talk about brandishing a bear when someone is less than cordial with you. "Well the first part of this is over. Once they're sober we can sit down and hammer this whole thing out." Twilight and Fluttershy both got comfortable on the bench outside the door and Twilight put her spinning head in her hooves. "What do you think happened? I mean we know Applejack. She'd never put herself in a way that she couldn't work, and I guarantee you if you're drunk enough to go to the hospital means you won't be at work tomorrow." Fluttershy nodded along with Twilight's train of thought. She knew when Twilight was in this state of mind input wouldn't be acknowledged but if you listen and follow along eventually she would get there. "And Apple whiskey!". On the ground floor of Ponyville clinic Berry Punch burst through the door. "That's not a common spirit for the Apple family. They don't even make it every year like they do cider. This must have been a special occasion. I don't think she would've just breached a barrel and filled 267 individual bottles just for an afternoon of casual drinking. What could've possessed Applejack to go through all this trouble." Fluttershy knowing it was a long shot but trusting in her friend not to ignore her as they'd had many a twenty two minute adventures about it spoke up. "Well uhm Applejack in her uhm drunken flailing did keep saying something about uhm liquid courage." "Liquid courage?" Miracle of miracles Twilight heard outside input. "Why would Applejack, the second bravest pony in Equestria, need liquid courage?" The princess more considered the point than actually asked. A sound was heard in the room and Twilight got up and steeled herself for the uncomfortable ordeal ahead. "Okay I think they're awake let's try and be as understanding as possible these are our friends and our friendship is strong enough to survive ANY OBST~." Twilight's stirring oration was cut short by slamming the door that she had just cracked barely open. Twilight's face was glowing red. Fluttershy never got a chance to ask what the situation was because Twilight grabbed Fluttershy and squeaked "EVERYTHING SOLVED FOREVER", and teleported them both out of the hospital. A manic Berry Punch sprinted right to where they had been standing and cast her head around looking for the source of her craving. Seeing no Apple whiskey or anypony to interrogate for Apple whiskey she hung her head, grimaced, and muttered to herself discontentedly about the trail going cold.
Whiskey Business Chapter 6Twilight decided not to complain about losing half a day and just be excited to finally get an explanation of what happened. At her familiar corner booth alongside a now calmed down Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and a literally vibrating with enthusiasm Rarity, who was acting more Pinkie Pie than Pinkie Pie. "Come on!" Rarity whined. "There's fashionably late and then there's just dragging out the suspense!" Finally the moment of truth arrived. The new couple walked in shoulder to shoulder tails entwined. Giggling from an untold joke in the way only lovers do. Rainbow trying to look Applejack in the eye and Applejack blushing like a school filly until she was redder than her brother. "Sooo?" Rarity said eye twitching with impatience. "Tell us a story" The new couple took their seats and Applejack began. "Well ah suppose it all started with the running of the leaves all those years ago. Somethin about that day changed the way ah looked at little thunder thighs here." Rainbow Dash slammed her hooves against the table and stood up blushing wildly. "Not in front of the girls Apple bottom! You promised!" Rarity and Pinkie Pie both let out a squeal that threatened to burst Twilight's ear drums. "You're already on pet names! It's so adorable I could just just" Rarity let loose with another squeal and that was officially the end of Twilight's patience with her. Twilight cast a one way sound proof bubble around Rarity. She then on second thought doubled the size of the bubble to include Pinkie Pie for good measure. She then steepled her hooves and calmly looked at the two love birds. "Now if you would please, Pretty Please, EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY BEFORE I KILL SOMEPONY!!!" Applejack crawled out from under the shelter of Rainbow Dash's wing where she had been hiding from Twilight's wrath. "Ahem, well I'd liked Rainbow for a good while now but bein in charge of the family farm I had to find a steady Earth stallion who could work the farm while I was rearin yungins. But with Big Mac settlin down with Sugar Belle I was finally free to be with whoever ah wanted." At this Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a firm nuzzle. The whole party, Rainbow Dash included, was silent with shock. "Applejack I had no idea! I'm so sorry." Twilight almost whispered. Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. "Tweren't nothin, duty to the family 'n all" "But Applejack, not being with the one you love that's, that's just awful!" Twilight pleaded. "Eh ah've had crushes in the past that didn't go nowhere, wasn't no trouble to like dash from afar." Applejack reasoned. "Get to the awesome part already!" Rainbow Dash whined. Applejack gave Rainbow a peck on the cheek which turned her into a blushing mess. The two silenced ponies hugged and let out another squeal mercifully silenced by the translucent lavender bubble around them. "Ahem well I got it into mah head to finally fess up but every time I tried I'd get tongue tied and couldn't get the words out. Well ah talked to Granny about it and after the initial shock wore off she gave me permission to breach a barrel. A little liquid courage to steel the soul Granny said. Well I decided to go about it like y'all would Twilight. Make a list n such. Step one get liquid courage, step two get Thund~." A gentle elbow to the ribs from Rainbow Dash for trying to use her pet name broke the flow of Applejack's narrative. "Just teasin R.D. " Rainbow Dash snuggled against her mare and Applejack wrapped a hoof around her very special somepony. "Well step two get RAINBOW DAAAASH" putting extra emphasis on each word. "Alone with me and the Apple whiskey and then." The doors to sugar cube corner burst inward. A very disgruntled Berry Punch stepped slowly deliberately towards the assembled ponies. "Where. Is. It." The ponies looked from one to the other looking for a clue to what she was talking about. " Where is THE FUCKING WHISKEY!" Twilight Sparkle was officially done. She grabbed Berry Punch by the waist and teleported to the Apple family wine cellar. She shoved a bottle into Berry Punch's hooves and teleported back. Berry Punch nodded and downed a third of the bottle before she had even left sugar cube corner. Applejack called after her. "I'll be by later for the thirty bits for that ya hear?" "Story time, NOW!" Twilight roared, eyes glowing, Royal Canterlot voice echoing, raw magic arcing of her horn singeing the furniture around her. Rainbow Dash came to the rescue speaking clearly but quickly. "So she invited me to polish off the bottle with her but I got way too drunk too fast and when she was confessing I was kind of spaced out." "Ah thought she was makin fun of me so ah ran off."Applejack said deflating slightly at the memory of that feeling of hopes dashed, dreams deferred. Fluttershy squeaked "Umm I hate to interrupt but umm that was really dangerous Rainbow Dash you could've died." Applejack looked at Fluttershy and raised an eyebrow? "But we were at ground level so the altitude shouldn't be an issue should it?" Applejack asked looking from pony to pony as if not understanding the rebuke. Rainbow Dash looked down and away knowing she was about to be in trouble. "Alcohol hits Pegasi much harder than Earth ponies Applejack. Has to do with an increased respiration and higher metabolism. If you're going to be dating a Pegasus you need to know these things." Twilight lectured. Applejack rounded on the offending pony. "Whah didn't you tell me Rainbow!" Applejack said voice staying to crack at the thought of losing the pony she loved. "You know me Applejack. I'm not gonna turn down a chance to drink with my favorite pony." She said this while tracing Applejack's face with her hoof and lifting her muzzle to a hair's breadth from her own. All Applejack could do was dreamily whisper "okay." The rest of the table chuckled about how thoroughly whipped Applejack, the normally stubborn hard headed pony,was. Even Twilight was ask in a chuckle at the display. Applejack regained a bit of her composure and sighed. "Ah guess that's why you didn't say anything when I told you I loved you." She chuckled to herself about the silliness of the whole situation "You were so out of it you probably didn't know your head from your hooves." "You don't know the half of it." Rainbow confirmed remembering her slow motion somersault. "So ah ran off and just happened to run across Fluttershah, and when she asked me what was wrong I spilled everything, but everytime I said Dash's name I took a drink so I ended up makin mahself sick." Applejack made a slight gag the memory of that instant still fresh in her mind. "Oh umm yes everything." She muttered trying not to look at Applejack. Between the country drawl, the alcohol, and the vomiting Fluttershy caught one word in three. "That's when I took her to the hospital." Fluttershy added to keep the flow of the narrative. "Then I brought Rainbow Dash to the hospital and then." Twilight Sparkle blushed and trailed off. "What uuhm what exactly happened in that hospital room?" Both Rainbow Dash and Applejack grinned at the memory of that magical moment. "Well I woke up first, and when I saw Applejack safe and sound I couldn't help but wrap my hooves around her. I had never been so concerned about anypony before. I didn't know why but I never wanted to let her go." The couple shared a short kiss. "Then Ah woke up and when I saw Rainbow holdin me everythin just kinda fell into place." The two looked intently at each other. "We looked into each other's eyes and then it just happened." The whole party was red faced at this point. Rarity and Pinkie were crying from the overpowering saccharine sweetness of it at. Fluttershy was buried in her mane and hooves. Twilight was very closely studying a nail on the floorboard. Rainbow was studying every aspect of Applejack's big green eyes, and Applejack was pressing her forehead against the pony she loved. "Then I couldn't help mahself I just kept sayin 'Ah love you,' 'ah love you!' 'Ah love you."She punctuated every sentence with a kiss. "Like ah was tryin to make up for lost time of wantin to say it and never gettin to do it." Rainbow Dash got a mischievous smile at that phrasing. "And speaking of doing it!" "NOPE!" Twilight snapped, grabbing the well since fainted Fluttershy and teleported them both out of Sugar cube corner. The magic bubble disappearing around the overly enthusiastic ponies. A small pop of purple magic burst over the table and a single piece of parchment floated down. All it said was "We're very happy for you." The remaining ponies erupted with laughter. "Awwww They left at the best part of the story" Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Don't worry sugar cube." It was Applejack's turn to don a mischievous smile. "We know where they live." Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. She put in her best Canterlot Noble voice. "Do go on then," and bit her lower lip.
Whiskey Business Chapter 5Discord was the oubliette overlord and was unflinchingly defending his position that you can't polymorph a non living object and that a gollum is a sentient statue of clay and therefore not a living being. Spike was fuming, contending that gollum's are clearly alive because they can move, speak, talk, and think, and Discord was being a cheater mccheaterson just because he didn't give Discord an inspiration point for his pun about Salad dressing in their last session. Big Macintosh in his typical stoic fashion chose not to take sides instead opting to write out more vocabulary in his character's race's fictional language. The two ponies appeared directly over the table with a ball of violet light and a loud pop. Spike who had been standing in his chair leaning on the table shouting for the last ten minutes flinched backwards causing his chair to fall backwards, and sending him somersaulting across the floor hitting the back of his head against the wall. Big Mac glanced up once then immediately went back to vocabulary. Discord never to be surprised simply quipped. "It's about time you showed up. So Applejack finally got it over with then? Good for her they'll make a cute couple." "APPLEJACK WHUT?!" Big Mac finally giving a reaction. Twilight Sparkle gaped. "How the hay did?" She stopped herself already knowing the answer. "Right Discord got it." It was Fluttershy's turn to turn beet red. She was a sucker for romance and it occurring between two of her best friends was more than she could handle. "Damnit Discord now she's gonna be stuck like this the rest of the day." "Oh she'll be fine, anyway you've got a tea party to get to." Discord snapped his lion's paw and Twilight was transported to the next day at sugar cube corner.
