Whiskey Business

Twilight Sparkle crown princess of Equestria had almost anything a pony could ask for. She had royalty, good family, a castle, and wonderful friends.

What she lacked from time to time however was a castle that wasn't filled with the raucous laughter and cheering from Spike's Ogres and oubliettes sessions. Even her strongest sound proof spells were easy prey for Discord's harmless brand of mischief.

So she had taken a page out of Rainbow Dash's book and was sitting comfortably on a cloud drifting lazily over Sweet Apple Acres trying to puzzle out why the mad Saddle Arabian Abdul Al Hazroan was so on about tentacles in his Necrotroticon. She was just about to accidently summon the dread god Neigharlathotep when she heard the drunken screaming of a certain rather inconsiderate pony.

"I am never gonna get through this thing" she whined to herself. She teleported the forbidden tome back to the library and slipped off her cloud perch. Berry Punch's drunken shenanigans were usually harmless. With the exception of that incident with her crown, it had taken weeks to clean up all that peanut butter. But Berry Punch had paid her fine and hadn't caused any trouble since then. This however was too far. If she was loud enough to be disturbing her thirty yards in the air, she was certainly loud enough to be considered a public nuisance, especially in sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family, friendly though they were, did not take kindly to trespass from ponies looking to steal their cider.

As she drifted regally down her eminent gaze fell not upon the local wine critic, but rather on the town weather pony. Twilight quickened her pace, flapping over to her friend's side as fast as her wings would carry her. " Rainbow oh my gosh are you o~." Her concern was cut off by a cough and a gag. Rainbow Dash positively wreaked of whiskey and vomit. She covered her muzzle with her mane to cover up the smell and continued her inquest. "Rainbow what's going on?"

The innebriate leered up at the unexpected voice and saw her best book buddy Twilight. "Heeeey Twilight!" She finally found her hooves and hugged Twilight around the neck, much to the princess' disgust. "HEY TWILIGHT!" her tone suddenly hardening. "WhY dO I knOw whuh C2H5OH is huh?"

Twilight taken off guard by this sudden interrogation could only stammer. "Well you know, uhm you you you've been reading a lot recently and uhm maybe you just picked it up somewhere." Twilight looked around guiltily. "How could she have found out I was so careful" she thought to herself frantically. "Wait hold on WHY ARE YOU BLIND DRUNK?!" She shouted remembering the more important matter at hand.

"Oh it was great" Rainbow Dash's mood seemed to swing wildly in this state. "It was just me and." She gasped with the memory. "Applejack! I gotta find Applejack!" She tried to push past Twilight but started to fall over instead. Twilight caught Rainbow Dash up in her magic and looked her innebrieated as close as she could in the face.

" Explain what's going on first."

"Okay one second." Rainbow Dash leaned her head slightly and gently vomited. Twilight Sparkle barely had time to turn Rainbow away from her with her magic.
"Bleh, anyways so there I was I had just completed my triple axle divebomb thunder Cannon that I had learned from spitfire herself after I became a lead pony then I." Twilight's eyebrows slowly lowered. Rainbow Dash's Pinkie Pie was showing. "And then we got sundaes and then the." Twilight put a hoof over Rainbow's mouth.

"Just get to the part about APPLEJACK!" She pleaded.

"APPLEJACK!" Rainbow Dash shouted for the third time in five minutes.

"Yes Applejack" Twilight echoed. "What's wrong with her is she in danger? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Twilight's patience was thoroughly expended and her growing alarm for her friends was making her irritable.

"Me and Applejack were drinking Apple whiskey." Across town at the Salt Lick tavern Berry Punch's head popped off the table. "And then Applejack just ran off crying out of nowhere."

"Poor Applejack!" Twilight started to pace around Rainbow Dash's floating form making her dizzy. "What could've set her off like that?"

"Twilight please stop." Rainbow Dash moaned.

"I mean we've all drank before and Applejack never seemed like a sad drunk."

"TWILIGHT PLEASE!"

"Now she could be anywhere and." Rainbow Dash vomited just in front of Twilight's pacing, snapping her out of her revelry. "Okay you're too drunk to do anything so you're going to the hospital Missy"

"No, fuck you." A feebly protesting Rainbow Dash muttered. Twilight started off at a trot towards Ponyville clinic an annoyed grimace on her face but only concern for her friend on her mind. Rainbow Dash tried to flap her wings to make her feel like she was just choosing to fly next to Twilight rather than be dragged along by her.