Not Familiar With The Concept

by Nova Arcanum

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Spike, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Death, Human, Narcotics, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 3237

Twilight decides to delve into summoning spells, and gets the idea to make her own. She ends up summoning a human, which wouldn't have been that bad, if only the spell hadn't given them magic on the way over to Equestria.

After a summoning experiment run by Twilight Sparkle, a Human is consequently foisted upon her care. The princesses learn of their existence, and attempts are made to pull them onto the chessboard, much to the amusement of Discord.

Cover is a cropped frame grab from this video. Sex tags for discussions and heavy petting.

Published 2025-01-16 09:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2025-02-15 21:47:59 UTC

1 - Welcome, To Summonor's Digs

"You can't be serious, Twilight. After the warning from Celestia AND Luna, you're still doing this." Twilight paid Spike no mind as she continued levitating seemingly random books from the library's shelves, intent written upon her face.

"Yes Spike, I'm still pursuing this. While summoning magic is heavily regulated, even Pinkie managed to get a summoner's license. Pinkie!" Spike rolled his eyes. "If Pinkie of all ponies can get a summoner's license, then surely I should be allowed and able to pursue learning and practicing summoning magic. It's one of the very few schools of magic that I haven't gotten to learn when I was younger."

Spike mumbled under his breath, "For damn good reason."

Twilight's ears perked, the newly minted Princess turned her head to look at Spike. "What was that?" Twilight's voice was saccharine, but carried an ominous undertone.

"Uh... Good enough a reason to start now...?" Spike corrected. Twilight smiled and went back to the multitude of books that floated around her. Spike, knowing he just narrowly escaped another potentially hours-long lecture about either not being rude to other ponies and/or royalty, the benefits of having multiple schools of magic under your belt, or even worse - both - decided it was time to retreat upstairs to delve into his newly-delivered stack of Power Ponies comics. The Mane-iac was supposedly making a return!

After having flipped through countless books, made several tens of meters of notes on an egregious amount of parchment, Twilight felt she was ready to do what she had originally set out to do: summon a creature. While there already were pre-made spells to summon common creatures, like lesser demons, spirits of those that had previously passed on from living, and small creatures from other realms, Twilight figured she'd try something else. She figured it wouldn't hurt to make an attempt at formulating her own "Summon Familiar" spell.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. But then again, this is Twilight "Tryhard" Sparkle. Nothing she sets out to do is ever really that simple.

Twilight went outside and set to work etching the required markings into a spell circle on the ground just in front of the Golden Oaks library. While she could have done this in the laboratory in the library's basement, she really didn't feel like rebuilding and restocking the basement lab. Again. For the third time that month. Celestia had actually started becoming concerned for the young princess's safety, as the last two times she'd experimented Twilight had needed some medical attention from Celestia's personal medical team.

With the final markings etched into the ground, Twilight sent forth her magic to power the array and summon a creature that would become her familiar. She thought she was ready for what would come forth. The universe would set her straight.

Alena stood outside behind her car as she double-checked the contents of her bags and trunk. Her laptop and charger sat nice and snug in the bag, along with some soft drinks and snacks, a headset, gaming mouse and mousepad, an Xbox controller, as well as her stash of weed and smoking peripherals. In her trunk lay an assortment of firearms, a couple of crossbows, a compound bow, and the necessary ammunition. She was apprehensive about carrying what would basically amount to several harsh felonies if she were to get pulled over, but she was sure she could handle not bringing attention to herself while she drove the veritable militia's worth of stopping power to their destination and wash her hands of them. Then it was off to her best friend's place for the week-long LAN party.

Just as she had placed her hand on the trunk lid to close it, Alena started to feel off. Before she could even make an attempt at figuring out what was going on, reality around her got a lot brighter, and magenta. In a blinding flash, Alena and her car were transported to parts unknown.

Twilight looked at the glowing circle with trepidation. She was sure whatever she had summoned was supposed to show up in a few seconds rather than a couple of minutes. Curiously though, she'd needed to feed the circle quite a bit more magic than anticipated, but she assumed that was par for the course. Suddenly, the circle blasted out a beam of magic upwards, nearly blinding Twilight. When it dissipated, she saw something she definitely didn't expect - a human and their car had been brought to Equestria. Twilight was glad she had made the decision to do this outside, but a scream had brought her out of her self-congratulating.

"MY FUCKING EYES!"

The human female dropped her bag and brought her hands to her face, undoubtedly from the pain her ocular fluid-filled balls were inevitably experiencing. Twilight snapped back to reality (without messing with gravity) and assisted the female with her eyes using a healing spell. The pained screams stopped shortly after, allowing them to take in their surroundings. The human then finally looked at Twilight, and then a look of realization came upon their face.

"You."

Twilight blinked and then pointed at herself, "Me?"

"You brought me here, didn't you?"

She put her hoof back down. "Yes, I did, but I wasn't exactly planning on pulling a human of all things when I set off that 'summon familiar' spell. And I certainly wasn't expecting to also bring their damn car along with them. At least that explains the excessive amount of magic I had to put into the circle to keep the spell going in order to safely finish the spell."

Blink. "'Summon familiar'? Familiar? I did not sign up to be somebody's bitch when I got up this morning! I'm supposed to be on my way to deliver a whole assload of weapons so I can pay off my debt, not in 'The magical land of Equestria' with enough firepower to take over Griffonstone and still have enough left over to clear out the Everfree forest!"

Twilight's face paled, "Y-you have a bunch of weapons on you? Never mind that though, how do you know all this information about Equestria!?"

"I'll explain inside, I'd rather break one or two people's minds, not the whole town's."

"You don't have any weapons in your bag, do you?"

The human picked up her backpack and walked towards the door to Golden Oaks, "Just a small knife I keep on me for survival use and self defense. All the firearms and adjacent items are in the trunk of the car. Along with enough ammunition to warrant several hours of interrogation."

Twilight and the human entered the library and the two sat down at one of the tables in the main part of the library, where Spike had already been sitting at with a bowl of popcorn. The bunch of popcorn he had been about to stuff into his face fell out of his claw and all over the table. Twilight wordlessly picked it up in her magic and placed it back into the bowl. "What's a human doing here?" Spike's question was inevitable.

Before Twilight could answer, the human responded. "Apparently I won the shit lottery and was the one summoned, along with my car and its contents. Adding to that, now that I've had a moment to calm myself, I also feel a little different. Like, I can feel an energy building within me. I have a feeling I know what it is, but I'd like to hear it from the one that summoned me."

"That," Twilight started, "would be the magic that is now coursing through you."

Spike threw his arms up, "You GAVE HER MAGIC!?" Twilight winced.

"I included in the summoning spell a component that gifted whatever came through the ability to use magic, to help ensure they would be compatible with this world." Twilight's words hit the human like a delivery truck, same-day express.

"Wow, that could've gone so much worse if it wasn't me that got pulled through."

Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Who even are you, anyway? We haven't even gotten around to introductions yet you're in our home. Twilight, I thought you were raised better than this."

Twilight blushed, "Well, you do have a point. I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, but please just call me Twilight. Although I'm certain you already knew that."

"I'm Alena Jessica Noel, but just Alena is fine." Alena put out her hand to shake Twilight's hoof and Spike's claw.

"The name's Spike."

Twilight cleared her throat to get Alena's attention. "Now then, onto important matters: how do you seem to know a lot about our world?"

Alena took a breath and then pulled the laptop out of her bag. "Rather than just tell you, how about I show you instead." She then proceeded to log in to the computer and pulled up the folder containing what she was looking for - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. She moved the cursor over to the playlist file and opened it.

Twilight couldn't hold it in, "Wait a seco-" Alena shushed Twilight with a finger to her muzzle.

"Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria..."

2 - Straight From The Horse's Mouth

Twilight wasn't sure what her reaction should be. On one hoof, it was nice to know that the Magic of Friendship was being spread across realities. On the other though, "The first two episodes were mostly accurate, aside from how Celestia and I conversed about Nightmare Moon returning, and the subsequent fight between her and I. It was drawn out quite a bit longer than just a few moments. Don't even get me started on the third episode, though. That just straight-up didn't happen, I asked Celestia for enough tickets for everyone the moment I got the letter and two tickets to The Gala."

Spike finished chewing the last bit of popcorn before voicing his input, "Is... Is how I'm depicted in that an indicator as to how I'm going to be shown throughout the rest of the series?"

Alena flicked her eyes around nervously for a second, "Uh... Kinda." Spike looked down at the table, his scales flopping over. "But! You do get some decent character development later on in the series! It's not all bad, I promise!"

Twilight cleared her throat, "So, let me get this straight," Twilight was about to continue after her brief pause, but Alena saw an opportunity and took it.

"You could also get it queer, but you do you." Alena snickered, and Spike couldn't hold in his laughter for long.

The purple princess gave a half-lidded stare before she carried on, "The events of our world are the subject of what could be described as a show for younglings in yours?"

"Yeah, about that... A good chunk of the audience that watched the show weren't exactly youglings. Adults latched onto the show, and absolutely adored it. Some for nostalgia."

Twilight sat back and processed the information. Evidently, Alena wasn't from the same world she visited during her trip through the mirror, that much was obvious. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't actually seen a human quite like Alena. Instead of the colorful palette of different skin colors she's seen on humans in the world on the other side of the mirror, Alena had pale skin. Along with her fairly light complexion, Alena had white hair that went seemingly near halfway down her back, although it was currently up in a ponytail. Her face was a little more rounded than that of the humans in Equestria's mirror world, while it still seemed pleasant to look at. Piercing red irises told Twilight that while Alena was docile for the most part, she had a burning determination that was barely kept in check. Her choice of clothing also didn't seem typical of those she saw in the other world - Alena's top, which barely fit the description of one, was a short cropped black tube top which managed to just cover her breasts. From what she could see when they were outside, her shorts were nearly in the same category as "barely clothes" as her top; blue denim cropped jean shorts that started right where her thighs met her ass.

"Hey, Equestria to Twilight, come in Twilight," Alena teased. Twilight was broken from her thoughts and brought back to the current moment.

"Sorry, I was just observing." Twilight paused for a second before she asked Alena a question. "So, what's the deal with all those weapons you'd mentioned were in your car outside?"

Spike perked up, "W-weapons? What kind of weapons?"

Alena jumped in before Twilight could open her mouth, "Think miniature cannons with attachable storage boxes that automatically load the next round, and can fire faster and more accurate than a traditional cannon. I've also got a compound bow, which is basically a bow with a longer drawstring that's run through some pulleys to multiply the force with which you pull back the arrow. And before you go asking to see them or handle them, the answer is yes to the first and no to the second. I also have more than a concerning amount of ammunition for most of them. They're dangerous tools meant to injure at absolute minimum, and carry the extremely easy potential to be lethal."

"Ahem!" Both turned their attention to Twilight. "Back to the question at hoof. Why in Luna's glorious moons would you even have to deliver such an arsenal to begin with?"

Alena couldn't help but snicker at Twilight's usage of Luna's name like that. "I'd mentioned it before - I had to transport the weapons and ammo to a purchaser, it was my last job to clear my debt."

"What kind of people did you owe a debt to that you needed to do something highly illegal to pay it off?"

"I got a loan from a fixer instead of going for student loans to put myself through college. FIgured it was easier and less of a hassle than to deal with paying student loans for several years." Twilight facehoofed.

"You are absolutely incorrigible."

"Hah, yeah you got me there."

"What did you go to college for?"

"Computer and software engineering."

Spike piped up, "What were the other jobs you had to do?"

Alena held up her left hand and brought her right index finger to her left hand's digits, "I sat on watch guarding a stash house, I broke into a rival fixer's house and stole his two Cockatoos - they're doing much better now in the other fixer's care - I intimidated some jury members and before you ask, no I wouldn't do something like that normally. This weapons shipment was supposed to be the last job that paid off my debt, but that's out the window now."

"Well, we could work on figuring out a way to send you home if you'd like."

That set Alena off. "HELL NO!" Twilight's ears splayed back in surprise. "There's no way I can go back home, not after disappearing with stolen goods worth tens of thousands of dollars I was supposed to deliver the same day I got them. If I go back home, I'm literally dead. There would be no hiding anywhere, I'd be hunted down for crossing a fixer."

Twilight was a bit taken aback by the statement, but she had to get an explanation. "You keep mentioning a 'fixer.' What's a fixer?"

"Fixers are people that you don't wanna mess with in the slightest. A fixer is someone you go to to 'fix' a problem you're having; they get the job done regardless of ethical, moral, and/or legal consequences of the manner in which you request the problem be fixed. While most are professional, some are total sleazebags that have no problem screwing over their clients. All of them have no problems straight up hunting down and killing clients that double-cross and betray them."

For the second time that evening, Twilight sat in silence and processed the information. For the first time tonight though, she found herself wondering why she decided to summon a familiar. Sure, she could've gotten a different dangerous creature as a familiar, but there was no way she ever could've expected she'd pull a human. Adding on top of that, the human had an insane arsenal of weapons they incidentally brought with them (along with a bunch of ammo). Twilight wasn't sure what she should do about the situation, but she had to do something, and do it sooner rather than later. While she could just allow Alena to reside in Ponyville, there was the whole matter of what to do with the stuff they brought with them.

"Alena," Twilight said, bringing the human's attention from her laptop back to the bookish princess.

"Yeah, Twilight?"

"While I don't really have any issues with you residing here in Equestria, there's still the matter of your admittedly ludicrous arsenal in that car of yours. This country prides itself on its ability to solve most of its problems peacefully and how much we value friendship across nearly all the land. So having such weapons brought into the country is quite shocking, to put it extremely lightly."

Alena blinked. She sat there for a moment and rested her chin on her interwoven hands, a pondering look on her face. "Not to be that person, but you wouldn't be having to deal with such an issue if you either fine-tuned your search a little better when firing off your 'summon familiar' spell, or just not done it in the first place."

*Snicker* "Yeah, Twilight. I did try to warn you about the potential problems with attempting a summoning spell. Just because Pinkie can do it, doesn't mean it's a good idea."

Twilight turned to glare at Spike, whereas Alena looked at him in disbelief. "McFucking 'scuse me? Pinkie Pie did a summoning!? What in the name of Tzeentch did she summon?"

Twilight's horn lit up to zip Spike's mouth shut, but Alena licked her finger and placed it on the tip of her horn. The horn immediately de-powered, and Alena could've sworn she'd heard the telltale hiss of a flame being put out by liquid. Spike took the opportunity to speak. "She summoned a hellhound to guard Rarity while she went mining for gems near Diamond Dog territory. We do have a non-aggression pact with them that also details a mining agreement for both parties, but not everyone in the warren abides by it."

"I'm assuming the leader of the warren is taking the agreement seriously, right?"

"Ohoho yeah, Chief Rover thoroughly investigates any and all reports of violence, and is not afraid of making an example of the instigator, even if it turns out to be one of his people."

Alena couldn't help but snicker, "Chief... Chief Rover! I... Ahahah! I can't! Bwahahahah!"

Twilight just rolled her eyes, "Alright, get it out of your system." *Snerk* Alena fell off her chair and started howling when Twilight failed to keep herself in check.

"MY SIDES! HA-HAVE GONE TO ORBIHIHIHIIIIT HAHAHAH!"

Spike turned to Twilight and gestured to Alena, "This. This is exactly what other countries think of us and why we're never taken seriously, at nearly any negotiation."

Twilight hated that Spike was right. She'd never admit that to him, but he was right.