Fallout Equestria: A Lonely Road

I screamed and screamed, unable to tear my eyes away from the horror before them. Being so totally focused on my screaming and horror actually saved me from staring into those lifeless sockets until my own life ended.
I had stopped flapping my wings.

Smashing into the ground, the impact forced all the air out of my lungs and silenced my screams. Lying on the ground, I could feel myself start to shake uncontrollably. It couldn’t be true! It just couldn’t!

But as many times as I repeated that denial like a mantra, I couldn’t erase what I had seen. Couldn’t forget it, couldn’t explain it away. Letting out a sob I crawled forward and curled up around the bottom of her pod.

Dead.

My Queen was dead.

My Hive was dead.

Everyling was dead except for me.

Slowly, ever so slowly my lips started to tremble and my eyes filled up with tears. I tried not to, I truly did but in the end it was all for naught and I began to cry. I don’t know how long I lay there, curled up around the pod containing my dead Queen and crying, but by the time my tears had exhausted themselves I could taste my own sorrow, so saturated was the room with it. Sniffling and wiping my nose, I clambered shakily to my hooves. I tried not to taste the air: I had never liked sorrow, and tasting my own and knowing the reason for it was more than I could handle at the moment.

Somehow managing to stumble out of the room,I didn’t make it far before I collapsed in the middle of the outer room. I couldn’t go back in there. I couldn’t look at that pod and see her decayed body, just a skeleton staring back at me with sightless eyes. I couldn’t face that again. I had to get out of here, had to find somewhere to go.

I didn’t know where I was going, or what I was going to do once I got there. All I knew was that I had to get out of this tomb as fast as I could. Forcing myself back onto my hooves, chest hurting from the overwhelming heartbreak and my eyes blurred with tears trying to escape. I made my way along the corridors doing a desperate half flying, half stumbling run out of the Hive and into the outside world. When I did finally emerge, I couldn’t help but start screaming again.
The world was dead.

What had once been a luscious valley surrounded by mountains, was now nothing more than a burned and charred wasteland. Well, the mountains were still standing, but the valley and its flowing streams and lush grass with tall majestic trees most certainly weren’t. Looking back on it now I’m very lucky that there wasn’t anything around when I first emerged. as raw and unprepared as I was, I would have been no match for even a bloatfly let alone anything that was truly dangerous.
So it was that my first experience with the Equestrian Wasteland was a terrifying one, but not a deadly one. I could see for miles, and all I could see was the desiccated husk of a once vibrant valley. I looked up at the sky, only to be met with an endless expanse of grey clouds. What had happened while I slept? It seemed that I had survived the death of my race but I might soon be joining them.

As if to give proof to my worries my stomach chose that moment to remind me that I hadn’t eaten in...well…however long it had been since I had last eaten. Now, I’ve heard some of the rumors about my kind and our feeding habits. How we can only eat love and have to take the place of a pony to feed off the love directed at them, feasting until we have left nothing of the pony but a withered up husk.

That is completely false.

Ponies can be so superstitious of things they don’t understand; they hear a few orders and make up the most outlandish tales to assuage their fear. Though strangely enough they make up stories that make us even fiercer than we already are, and we’re pretty fierce to begin with.

But there is some truth to the story. Love provides the most nutrition and is by far and away the best tasting. If we do manage to take the place of the pony it’s being directed at then we can in fact feast until there is nothing but a withered husk remaining, but it is rare to do that. After all, it takes a lot of planning and watching to seamlessly take the place of someling, and why would you waste all that time and effort by killing off your meal?

Not only can we eat love, we can also eat sorrow, happiness, elation, joy, anger, grief, et cetera. Any and all emotions across the spectrum are simply a meal for me. I do not have to take the place of a pony to eat them, I can even eat the emotions of other changelings, though doing so is frowned upon unless in the most dire of circumstances.

Believe it or not, but I can also eat berries (I happen to love strawberries), fruit, nuts and even meat. These fangs aren’t just for show. It was a source of amusement for the Hive, how ponies believed that we could only eat one type of thing and only if we took the place of another. If we could only do that, we would have died out long ago from starvation.

Silly ponies.

I was drawn out of my musings by my stomach rumbling again and reminding me that it knew perfectly well what type of foods it could handle and didn’t much care for the superstitions of ponies. Licking my lips I looked around, trying to spot somewhere that I could possibly find some type of sustenance. There didn’t seem to be any type of vegetation around, none living at least.

Spreading my wings, I lifted into a hover, flying down the Hive and not thinking about everything I was leaving behind me. After thirty or so minutes I was forced to conclude that there was nothing edible in the area. I would have to travel farther away to find sustenance, which was both good and bad. Good because it took me away from the tomb my Hive had become, and bad because it took me away from my Hive.

I turned to look back at the blasted remains of my home, of the tomb that now housed everyling I had ever known. I don’t know how long I stood there in my silent vigil, memories flashing randomly through my head. My oldest memory, looking up into the smiling visage of my beautiful Queen as she held me in the Maturation Chamber. Another of me learning how to fly and then of my first transformation, it was into a dark blue earth pony with a teal mane and tail. My favorite disguise, as it were. Of finding my first target, of the fear as we slowly ran out of food as the nearby settlements of ponies moved away, of the grand plans for the Invasion and subsequent horror of failing and being cast far away by the overpowered spell, going out into the world and feasting while the ponies and zebras tore themselves apart, those last terrified moments before falling asleep.

I shook my head. I didn’t need to think about what came next as I had just lived it. The Hive held nothing for me anymore; it was dead and, unless I wanted to join my Queen in her eternal slumber, then I was going to have to seek out food, shelter and find out just what had happened while I had slept. Maybe finding out what year it was would be a good idea as well. That was, of course, depending on if I wasn’t the last living thing in Equestria, and oh my, wasn’t that a cheerful thought?
Shaking my head to dismiss these unproductive thoughts I looked around, trying to get my bearings and remember where that little pony town was. It took me longer than I like to admit because everything looked the same and I couldn’t navigate by the sun. Nearly an hour later, and with darkness rapidly, falling I finally found a familiar landmark: a cluster of stones atop a peak. From here I knew that the settlement of Saddleton was an hour’s flight due east of here.

Coming to a rest beside the stone I cast one last look back at the Hive. I didn’t plan on ever returning to that tomb. Turning to face the direction I needed to head in, I spread my wings and flew off, not once looking back.

As I flew, I found myself feeling lost. Not in the sense that I didn’t know where I was going, but in the sense that I didn’t know what to do. Always, there had been the constant drone of thousands of Changelings, talking and sharing information, and behind that, like a pleasant song,was the voice of the Queen. Her voice would cut through the drone, sending out her messages and commands. Now? Now there was silence, with only my own thoughts to fill the void in my mind. I did not like this. I did not like this one bit. It made me feel small, lonely and more than just a little afraid.

It’s hard to describe, even now I have trouble explaining the feeling to others. Ponies don’t understand it, ponies can’t understand it. They have no way to conceive of a Hive mind, of the comfort one gets from knowing that there are thousands all around you, speaking in your mind. You can simply ask a question and the Hive responds, you are instantly comforted when sad, cheered when you succeed, vindicated when angry. When I tell this to ponies, they are horrified. They see such things as a massive invasion of privacy. They ask how I could have put up with never having a private moment to myself, of having to constantly be careful of what I thought lest I be accused of treason or some such thing.

At first, I didn’t understand what they were asking. Why would I be bothered about sharing my thoughts? The Hive was my family and we shared everything. Heh, I didn’t even know what treason was at first. such a concept of betraying the Hive and Queen was so foreign to me I laughed. They can’t understand what it means to be so closely connected, nor does it seem like they want to.

Ugh, I hate explaining this. I never feel like I’m doing a good enough job to get across my point. Suffice it to say, it’s something that I struggle with everyday. But enough of this, back to the matter at hoof.

Coming out of my gloomy thoughts I found that I was nearing the town. Slowing my wings, I descended, landing behind a small hill beyond the line of sight of the town. Crawling forward, I inched my way until I could see the town. My night vision is excellent but I didn’t need it to tell me that there were at least a few living something’s in that town. The lit torches were a pretty good indicator that there was some life left in Equestria other than mine.

The town had seen better days; even before whatever industry had brought the ponies here had started to fail. Most of the buildings were just rubble; a few walls,maybe a door if they were lucky. But I could see that a few looked to have all the right components to be called a proper building. The most prominent being a building on the outskirts of the town with a large crossed wrench and screwdriver above a bay door. The writing below the giant tools proclaimed it as Glitter Dawn’s Repair Shop. Beyond that only one other building had a sign which stated that it was The Barman’s Butt.

I wasn’t really sure what was sold at The Barman’s Butt but I was pretty sure I wanted nothing to do with it. Wasn’t really sure what a Barman was either to be honest and now I had no desire to find out. A breeze gently ruffled my mane and brought with it the scents of ponies and “HURK!” I nearly threw up as the amalgamation of emotions hit me. The taste was beyond awful; I had never tasted such a horrifying mix of sorrow, fear, anger, hatred and depression. I’ve never liked the taste of negative emotions. On their own, each one of those was bad enough. Combine them though?Well, do that and it turns them from unpleasant into a stomach clearing miasma. Which my stomach was currently trying to do as I gave another dry heave, twisting away and clamping a hoof to cover my nose and mouth as I fought desperately to keep from throwing up. There wasn’t a single positive emotion in that town!

I was suddenly not so sure there was life in that town; surely no living creature could produce that level of negative emotion without a single positive one. Just as I was turning to flee the wind shifted and brought a new scent and flavor to me. Honey. I paused, someling down there was happy. My curiosity was piqued, intrigued by this mysterious creature who could be happy in such a den of misery. As I knew of no other pony city around here I made the rather easy choice to head down into town and look for the source of the happiness.

First though, I needed to change my appearance. I didn’t know how whatever was down there would react to me, or even if they would know what I was. It was better to not take that chance. Closing my eyes I pictured my chosen form, a dark blue earth pony with a teal mane and tail. A flash of green flame, and in my place was now a pony of average height and build. I gave myself a once over, doing a few stretches and simple maneuvers to get used to my new body. Satisfied that I would be able to pass for a pony I walked out from behind the hill and made my way down towards the town.

I didn’t want to do it, but since the breeze had stopped I had to breathe through my nose to try and catch the scent of honey again. It was actually easier than I had thought it would be; as soon as I neared Glitter Dawn’s Repair Shop I was nearly overwhelmed by the flood of honey that hit me. Opening my mouth, I sucked it in eagerly, nearly moaning when I felt my stomach being filled with the wonderful food! I’m sure I looked very strange and possibly more than a little creepy, standing outside a store with my mouth opening and closing rapidly, a blissful expression on my face but I didn’t care. I had food! Wonderful delicious food!

“What are you doing?” The unwelcome voice caused me to jump in surprise, whipping my head over to see a light orange mare with a green mane sticking her head out of the doorway to the shop, a puzzled expression on her face.

~I uh, I was just wondering what the town is called?~

I gave her my most convincing smile, hoping she would think that I was new in town and just trying to get my bearings. My smile began to falter a bit when instead of answering she simply continued to stand there and stare at me.
“What’s your name? You new in town?”

~My name is Andariel and yes, I am new in town. What’s your name?~ I asked her in return, though I was a little confused as to why she had outright ignored me. My confusion grew when a concerned expression appeared on her face and she stepped out of her shop. “Are you alright? Can you not talk?” Now it was my turn to be confused, what was she talking about? I had been answering her and even asking my own questions! ~Of course I can talk! What kind of silly question is that? Can you hear?~

“Its ok sweetie, I imagine its hard enough being your age and not having your Cutie Mark but not being able to talk? You just come on in here and I’ll get you some food. Won’t even charge you any caps. You look like you need it.”

I had no idea what this crazy pony was talking about, Cutie Marks? Not talking? Caps? I shook my head, lifting a hoof up to rub my face. “I won’t take no for an answer. I insist you join me for some dinner.” I jerked my hoof away, realizing that the pony had taken my expression of exasperation as a decline of her offer of food. ~No no, I’d love to join you for dinner.~ I quickly said, moving to stand next to the strange earth pony. “That’s more like it. I’m Glitter Dawn, by the way.” The mare said, turning and leading the way into her shop. I followed her in and she kicked her door shut.

Inside there was row upon row of shelving units, all stuffed full with all kind of mechanical parts. I didn’t know what half of this stuff was!

“The food is right over here, I was going to make some Sugar Apple Bombs. I’m a repair pony, in case you were wondering. If it can be fixed, and even some stuff that can’t be, I’m the mare to fix it for you.” The strange pony rambled as she bustled about making some Sugar Apple Bombs, whatever those were. ~Wait, how can you fix it if it can’t be fixed?~ I asked, following along and sitting down at the table when she waved a hoof at it.

“Notice that you don’t have any gear with you. You get robbed or something?” she asked, continuing along as though I hadn’t spoken. “Dangerous wandering the Wasteland without any sort of gear, good way to get yourself killed. Don’t worry about it though; I’m sure we can work out something that’ll get you outfitted and get me paid. I’m a fair mare, and I hate to see somepony have more misery heaped on them. Take poor Butterdip, that mare hasn’t been able to find her foal and she’s been missing for three days now.” She let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head sadly as she returned to the table with a box and two bowls. Pouring the contents into the bowl I got my first glimpse of Sugar Apple Bombs, small spherical red colored objects filled the two bowls in quick order.

~Thank you.~ I said, not sure what else to say to the mare and pretty sure that she was going to ignore whatever I said anyway. Sure enough, Glitter Dawn simply ignored me and continued on speaking, though this was stopped periodically as she ate her food. “I sold her some healing potions and a couple rounds of shotgun ammunition, at a discount, but she’s had no luck.” I nodded, bending down to eat my food. It was rather bland, tasted kinda like cardboard. Though with all the honey in the air it made it palatable. I made a note to stay away from Sugar Apple Bombs in the future.

The mare continued to ramble on about various subjects while we both ate, ranging from how well her shop was doing to how much she disliked Serving Cup, who turned out was the proprietor of The Barman’s Butt, which was some kind of drinking establishment. Once we were both done, she collected the bowls and returned them to the kitchen, dumping them onto the counter and placing the food back into a cupboard.

“Hey, do you know how to write?” She suddenly asked, turning back around to look at me. ~Yes, I can write but I can also talk. Since you can’t understand me when I talk I don’t know if you’ll be able to understand what I write.~ I stood up from the table, nodding and looking around for something to write with. My host was already two steps ahead of me as she produced a chalk board and piece of chalk for me. Picking it up in my mouth and grimacing at the taste, I wrote out a single word on the board.

Yes

“Excellent! What’s your name?” She asked, the flavor of marshmallows filled the room at her excitement.

Andariel

“Where do you come from Andariel?”

I paused, the chalk hovering over the board as I thought of an answer that would not give me away.
Far away

She smiled at me, I wasn’t sure if she believed me or not but she didn’t ask anymore about where I was from.
“What happened to your gear? Were you attacked?”

I wasn’t really sure what she meant by gear and I hadn’t been attacked but I couldn’t rightly say that I had woken up in my Hive and everyling was dead.

Yes

“Oh you poor thing, did they rape you?” She asked gently, a concerned look on her face. I scowled as the taste of marshmallows was replaced by lemons, then quickly shook my head.

No

“Well, thank Celestia for that. Are you a trader? A mercenary? What brings you out this far south?” She asked, settling back on her haunches and looking like she was just getting started with the questions.

Wanderer looking for answers

“What sort of answers? Maybe I can provide some of them.” She said, leaning forward a bit and giving me an encouraging smile.
I frowned, as I tried to think of a way to word my questions. After a few seconds it came to me and I began writing.

What happened to the world?

Glitter sat there, an expectant look on her face like she expected me to continue with my question. When I didn’t write anything more she spoke up. “What do you mean? Did something new happen out there?” I tilted my head, unsure now of how to proceed. Maybe a lot more time had passed than I had thought.

Why is the world destroyed?

As she read along as I wrote, Glitter’s eyes grew ever larger. She looked at me, completely stunned at my question. “Did you lose your memory or something? Do those bandits hit you in the head? The world was destroyed by balefire one hundred and fifty years ago!” She exclaimed, her look of shock morphing into one of concern as I began to shake.
One hundred and fifty years? I had been asleep for one hundred and fifty years? How is that possible?

“Hey, you ok?”

I shouldn’t have been able to sleep for that long! I shouldn’t have been able to do survive for that long without food! Or water! Though now that I knew how long I had been sleeping for the state of the Hive made more sense. With noling to tend it of course it would start to decay after that long.

“You don’t look so good, maybe you should lie down?”

That would also explain why Queen Chrysalis had been so decayed, after that long she would only be a skeleton.

“Oh no! Please don’t cry!” I dimly felt myself being wrapped up in a hug, though I couldn’t break myself out of my thoughts.
Everything was crashing down on me again, only this time it was so much worse because there really wasn’t any chance of things getting better. I don’t know why I suddenly realized it right then but I guess that somewhere in the back of my mind I had held out hope that I would be able to find a solution and fix everything. That I would somehow find a way to bring my Queen and Hive back to life. But after the world had been destroyed by balefire, I didn’t know what that was but it sounded really bad, and one hundred and fifty years had passed I was truly on my own. For some reason my mind kept catching on that number, one hundred and fifty, it kept repeating how nothing could surmount that number. I don’t know why, it wasn’t like I would have been able to save them if only one hundred years had passed, or one forty or even a single day, but I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally.

“It’s going to be ok, I know it doesn’t sound like it right now but it will be, you’ll see.” The distant voice of Glitter broke through, and with slow, jerky motions I turned to look at her. She met my gaze and gave me an encouraging smile.
I just stared at her, my lips trembling as I tried to process everything.

“You want a shot of whiskey or something?”

I smiled at her, then without warning I threw up and passed out.