The New Girl

Dear Princess Celestia,

Though I am just now seeing how great friendship could be, I am having a wonderful time trying new and exciting things with my new friends. From baking with Pinkie Pie, to exercising with Rainbow Dash, I am trying all sort of things I had never considered doing before. Every week is a new adventure, with many exciting challenges that we all learn from. I am so very thankful that you sent me to Ponyville to be with the five best friends I could possibly ask for.

Recently, they have taught me how powerful of a love friendship can be. And with that love, a more physical form of expressing that love can emerge. I am talking, of course, about sex. Sex is a powerful aspect of friendship, which was very scary at first. Now, I am fully embracing this fun expression of affection. Threesomes with Applejack and Rarity, foodplay with Pinkie Pie, bondage with Fluttershy, and tender, candlelit rendezvous with Rainbow Dash have all become regular activities that I participate in, and are often the highlight of my week. I used to think that sex was something done between a husband and wife for the purpose of reproduction, but I can now see how beautiful and fun it can be when shared between some of your closest friends.

I look forward to sharing more of my lessons on friendship (and sex) with you.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.

...

To my most faithful student,

Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, learn what is and is not appropriate to share! I'm glad that you are finally breaking out of your shell and trying things that seem scary, I really am. I think it's wonderful that you have found somebody (or multiple somebodies) that you are comfortable being physically intimate with. But please, understand that this is not information I needed to know. There are some things that you should keep private.

I was having lunch with your parents when I received your letter and I read it aloud, without giving any thought to what it may contain. We were fully expecting something more along the lines of "my friends and I encountered X problem, but we got through it, because that's what friends do", not "hey, Princess! I just love having kinky, lesbian sex with all of my new friends!" (which, as a side note, we would all like to express how proud we are that you have come to terms with your sexual and romantic attraction towards other women, and how you are not afraid to express it). For heaven's sake, your mother looked up what the hell "foodplay" was on her phone, and now she can't stop blushing and has completely lost her appetite.

Please, exercise discretion when writing future letters to me about what you and your friends have been up to. I don't need the more scandalous details about your friendship.

Yours,

Princess Celestia

PS, your parents are very interested in meeting Rainbow Dash. They would like you to bring her over for dinner on Sunday night. I hope they adore her as much as you do.