The sun was midway in the sky on another beautiful day in Equestria. Right outside the sleepy village of Ponyville there existed a place called Twittermite Fields; an untamed world of natural order where the little twittermites roam free across the equestrian landscape. And where there are twittermites….there are the Twittermite Hunters.
“La la la la, la la la la la!” Pinkie Pie sang as she playfully chased after a twittermite, successfully catching it within her net. “You're my twelfth catch of the day little guy! I'm gonna call you "Twelvey." Pinkie put a jar on the ground along with a feather. “Coochie coochie coo!” The earth pony tickled the creature, causing it to sneeze fresh Twittermite Jelly into the jar. “Bye, Twelvey!” The Twittermite zapped Pinkie on the head, leaving a lump on her pink head. However to her surprise a red twittermite floated on by, catching her attention.
“Oh! It's you!” Defying all logic Pinkie floated alongside the creature, before swinging her net and missing, much to her annoyance. “Well, it's just you and me again, I've caught and named every twittermite in this field at least once…..” The pony glared at the twittermite. “…except you, No Name.”
The twittermite smirked before buzzing that could be translated as “Bring it on.” Pinkie let out a battle cry as she chased after the insect, swinging her net and repeatedly missing. At some point she stepped on a soda can, bringing it along under her hoof, yet she didn’t care. The chase went on for several moments until Pinkie felt she was close enough to finally make the catch. Letting out one more battle cry she pounced.
“Gotcha!” Yet the net collapsed as it remained empty. The red twittermite floated by victoriously. “Pony feathers….how does he do that?” Pinkie asked as she looked on in amazement. “Some day I’ll catch you No Name….”
The next day Pinkie stepped out from the kitchen of her favorite job in all of Equestria: baker at Sugarcube Corner. With a brown paper bag on her back she passed by her boss, Mr. Rich, by the counter.
“I’m going on my lunch break Mr. Rich.”
“You got five minutes.” Mr. Rich glared as he counted the daily bits.
“Wow! One more whole minute than earlier!” Pinkie went to the nearest empty table and helped herself to a seat. “Pinkie Pie ready for launch!” The party pony imitated a rocket taking off before pouring the contents of her bag out onto the table: a muffin and jar of twittermite jelly. Pinkie proceeded to cover the muffin with the jelly before taking hearty bits and enjoying the flavor. The customer at the next table looked over at her with curiosity.
“Excuse me mam, whats that?”
“That? That’s my mane good sir! You see I am a pony and I-“
“Not that, that!” The stallion pointed to the muffin.
“That? Its just a muffin covered with twittermite jelly. I call it a muffin covered with twittermite jelly!” Pinkie explained happily.
“Can I try some?” The stallion held out a muffin.”
“Sure!” Pinkie proceeded to cover the muffin with a helping of jelly, watching as the customer took a bite. Chewing slowly to take in the flavor the stallions eyes grew wide.
“Amazing…..I have to tell somepony!” The stallion looked to the other customers.
“Hey all you ponies!
Hey all you ponies!
Hey all you ponies will you listen to meeeeeee?
I just had a muffin! No ordinary muffin! A muffin covered with Twittermite Jellyyyyyyy!” The customer took Pinkies jar and began going around.
“Hey there you have to try this muffin!
It’s no ordinary muffin!
It’s the tastest muffin yes you’ll seeeeee!” The customers began happily eating away. “Skee babbity do bob de bow yeaaaaahhh!” The crowd watching on began cheering as the pony bowed. “Thank you!”
“Pinkie Pie!” Mr. Rich trotted over, having heard the whole song and dance number. “Who’s playing Trixie’s records again?” He asked, annoyed.
“No pony sir. I was just sharing my twittermite jelly with the customers.” Pinkie explained as she held out a muffin. “Here, take a taste and send your buds on a journey.” Mr. Rich eyeballed the muffin and glared at his best employee.
“Messing with the recipe…..thats mutiny! Why I outta-“
“Sir! This is the greatest thing I’ve ever had!” The stallion came over and cut the two off. “I’m gonna eat here everyday for the rest of my life!” Mr. Rich’s eyes grew wide as he imagined the pony as a bit. “Hey buddy, you ok?” The owner was stuttering incoherently as the pony walked away.
“You ok Mr. R?” Pinkie asked concerned.
“Pinkie!” The stallion pulled Pinkie closed. “I got a proposition for you. How about you go catch me some of those moneymites?”
“Oh wow. Getting paid to twitterfish. That’s my lifes dream!”
“Well keep dreaming.” Mr. Rich handed his employee a net. “This will be on your own time.”
“Loud and clear sir!”
“Now go get me some twittermites, and make it-“ Pinkie held up a jar with a twittermite already inside. “Uhh, quick.” Even the stallion was amazed. “But Pinkie, we’re gonna need more than one puny twittermite.”
“But Mr. Rich, how many twittermites do you need?”
“Pinkie Pie, we have a whole ecosystem full of hungry paying customers.” Mr. Rich gasped in fear. “Oh, no! Don't tell me! You've stopped caring for the customer!” Pinkie screamed.
“No! Never!”
“Then go out there and get me some more twittermites!” Mr. Rich said optimistically.
“Ok Mr. Rich, just take care of them ok? They are oh so sensitive.” Pinkie ran out the door to start her task as the stallion chuckled.
“Oh I’ll keep them safe…..in my wallet….”
Pinkie ran across Twittermite Fields with a triple net before catching three twittermites at once. Jarred up the party pony returned to her boss.
“Here you go Mr. Rich.” The stallion stopped painting a muffin sign and looked over.
“I’m gonna need more than that Pinkie.”
Wearing a phoney mustache Pinkie cut a rope, catching multiple twittermites in a large net. Pinkie then returned to her job with catch in hooves.
“More twittermites sir!”
“Oh that’ll never no Pinkie! More!”
Pinkie set up a fake twittermite hive as several of the insects flew in, before successfully being trapped by the party pony. She then returned back to her job, only to find Mr. Rich shaking his head.
“More Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie drove a large replica version of herself through Twittermite Fields before catching at least a dozen plus twittermites in a oversize net before returning the oversize jar to her boss.
“What don't you understand about... more?!”
“More!”
“More!”
“More!”
“More!”
“More!”
“More!”
“More!”
“Moar!”
“MOOOOORRRREEE!”
Luna’s night and moon had long replaced Celestia’s day and sun as Pinkie stood all alone in Twittermite Fields. What was once filled with the various creatures that occupied the field, it seemed that Pinkie had done the impossible.
“Well, there’s no more. Now that’s Twittermite Fishing!” Whistling to herself the party pony began the trek back to her home, not aware at all that she was being followed by one twittermite she failed to catch. Only a few moments later Pinkie stopped whistling and stopped in her tracks. “It feels like sompony…..” She turned and pointed dramatically. “-wants to sell me something!!!!” Pinkie looked and found she was all alone. She trotted on nervously, not knowing a pair of con ponies were hiding behind a rock.
“I told you she was on to us.” Flim said to his brother Flam as he looked on from their hiding spot. Pinkie’s pace increased as she nervously continued on her way. She could’ve sworn she heard a buzzing sound following her. She decided to risk turning back but found herself still all alone.
“I’m not interested in anything you’re selling!!!” Pinkie finally broke out into a full gallop, charging through her front door and slamming it behind her. Gasping for air the earth pony bravely peeked out the windows and looked into the night. To her confusion she didn’t see anypony. “I sure felt like…..” Pinkie started laughing to herself. “I must be working too hard, haha.” The party pony’s ears perked as she heard the telephone go off. “I got it Gummy! Hello? Pinkie Pie’s house, Pinkie Pie speaking.” She waited politely for a moment, but grew nervous as she didn’t hear anypony on the other end before the phone on the other end hung up. Pinkie started laughing nervously. “Hehe…wrong number.”
Much to Pinkie’s dismay the power to her house at that moment cut off, plunging her into darkness.
“I guess Gummy forgot to pay the electric bill again…haha…” The pony laughed nervously, growing more worried. “Ok Pinkie…take it easy. You must have some candles in the kitchen.” The pink party pony trotted to her kitchen door and found a lone light shining onto the floor. “Heeeelllllooo, whats this?” Pinkie looked amused at the lone muffin sitting on the ground. “What are you doing here, oh delicious one? A little snack will calm my nerves!” Pinkie lifted the muffin, intent on eating it. “Ah, a muffin with red jelly.” The pony opened her mouth until her eyes bulged out in horror as she realized what she was holding. “RED JELLY?!?!?!?” Pinkie turned and found a certain twittermite floating next to her. “Ah! Hey, old No Name? What's happening?” The pony asked, laughing nervously, watching in horror as the insect pulled out a net and jar….
No Name floated along in the night with the jar on his back, with the struggling Pinkie Pie crammed inside. The pony could only beat against the glass in desperation.
“No Name, let me out!” Pinkie pleaded. “What are you gonna do with me?” Somehow from within the jar the party pony caught a whiff of a foul smell. “Pee-yew! What smells like big business?” NO Name floated to the outskirts of Ponyville to a building that wasn’t there before. “Hey, I don’t remember that factory being here.” The twittermite floated to a nearby window, allowing Pinkie to peer inside. The pony squinted, then gasped in terror. Inside along the roof of the factory were tubes with the Twittermites she caught going along. Some would be extracted and squeezed for their jelly before being discard aside. Some were pressed a juicer, some were rolled with pins and some were milked like cows. “What is this horrible place?!” One Twittermite was grabbed by a machine hand and tickled underneath.
““Coochie coochie coo.” The twittermite sneezed into a jar before deflating.
“What kind of monster is responsible for this horror?” Pinkie asked before she found a pony she knew peddling along on a exercycle, powering the whole factory.
“That's it, boys! Keep that gelatinous gold mine flowing!” Mr. Rich laughed as he kept peddling.
“Mr. Rich No!” Pinkie looked down at the twittermite below her. “Now I know why you brought me here. But what can we do?” The earth pony peddled along, listening to some music through a pair of headphones. “Mr. Rich!!!” The boss took off his phones and looked up as Pinkie, now free from her jar and floating on No Name’s back, came smashing through the window. “Stop this madness! Stop it right now!”
“Uh Pinkie! This…uh….this isn’t what it looks like! Why its….uh….we’re just having uh…..a little tea party!”
“Oh boy a tea party!” Pinkie floated off happily off the twittermite before receiving a small zap to bring her back to her senses. “You tricked me Mr. Rich! I wouldn’t have collected all those Twittermites if I knew this was their fate! This isn’t right! Twittermites needs wide-open space and fresh air!”
“Easy Pinkie, what are you doing with that?” Mr. Rich asked as Pinkie lifted a large wrench.
“Something that should’ve been done a long time ago!”
“NOOOO!” Much to his relief Pinkie adjusted a bolt on the door holding the Twittermites.
“The squeaky bolt on this door was driving me crazy!” The party pony said happily.
“Whew.”
“And now I’m going to set these Twittermites free!” Pinkie grabbed the door with her hooves and yanked as hard as she could, but the door didn’t budge. Mr. Rich laughed at her struggle.
“Well you cant. The door’s voice-activated and will only open if I said “Open”.” Mr. Rich clamped a hoof over his mouth as the door beeped, and swung open. Pinkie dropped to the ground as the large swarm of twittermites came flying out.
“Freedom! Freeeeedoooommmm!” Pinkie cried out happily as the swarm charged at Mr. Rich.
“You’ll never catch me!” The earth pony began peddling as hard as he could on his bike, panting and laughing before it dawned on his that he was on a exercise bike. “Blasted exercise craze…” A charge of electricy came from the swarm and zapped Mr. Rich, causing the pony to scream out in pain. Pinkie stood out the door as the swarm came out and into the night.
“Goodbye friends!” Pinkie called out as Mr. Rich, burnt and hair on ends came limping out.
“I’m taking….twittermite jelly….off the menu.” The pony went twitching off as Pinkie laughed.
“He really got burned on that deal! All is as it should be.” Pinkie reached behind her and pulled out her hunting net. “I promise never to use this net for anything but pure sport again. Twittermites aren't meant to be captured forever!” Much to her surprise a certain red twittermite came floating down and rested in the net. “No Name…. I guess I can name you now. I'll call you... "Friend." Pinkie held out a hoof, only for Friend to zap it, causing Pinkie to laugh nervously at their new shaky friendship.
