Author's Note
I wasn't gonna post this until Thursday cause that day is actually a week before my birthday, but we got it done early so I wanted to post it early. Sue me.
I Just Need A Hug...
I sit in my bed, crying from the burning pain on my arms. I knew this habit was unhealthy, but it's the only thing that helps. I stare at the blood oozing down my hoof, unable to look away.
Even though I have been in the hospital for suicide watch, I still struggled with my depression. I had learned new coping strategies, but none of them really seemed to work anymore. Cutting seems to be the only thing that really helps.
Cutting myself is the only way I can express my frustration and anger. The only way to say how I feel. It also feels like an addiction. The adrenaline is like a high so I just keep doing it, because the low feels unbearable.
A knock at my door pulls me out of my thoughts. I slowly get up as I look out the window, finding Pinkie Pie waiting outside. I opened up my window and called out to her.
"I'll be down in just a moment!"
Pinkie looked up at me and smiled.
I walked over to my closet picking up one of my light sweaters, putting it on despite the stings from my cuts. The weather is dreadful and hot lately, but I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I put on a fake smile and went downstairs to let her inside.
Before I opened the door, I took a deep breath as I continued putting on the facade and opened the door.
Before I could even fully open the door, Pinkie blasts her confetti cannon, blowing confetti in my mane. I just stare at her as she smiles with a cake on her head.
"Happy one week before your birthday, Scriptie!"
I let out a slight giggle, trying to not let the mask fall off as I straightened out my mane.
"Thanks, Pinkie!"
"I know you don't like cake, so I made you some ice cream instead!" She pulled out a cup of vanilla ice cream from nowhere.
I'm never going to understand how she does that… I think to myself.
"Thanks!" I took the ice cream from her and invited her inside, I sat down on my sofa, Pinkie skipping in behind me, cake bouncing on her head.
She handed me a spoon before she sat down. I looked at her skeptically.
"Don't worry, it's clean."
I slowly took the spoon into my grasp and inspected it with a quick glance then proceeded to eat my ice cream as Pinkie pulled out a fork and ate her cake.
"So, you made this at home then?" I asked before eating a scoop.
"Mmhm!" Pinkie said, unable to talk with her mouth full. She swallowed, saying; "It's a new recipe I found from one of Twilight's books, you like it?"
I nodded my head as I swallowed another bite.
Pinkie is the only pony who can make me smile these days, even if it's short-lasting. I try to hold onto those small sparks of light as much as I can.
"You know, you really didn't have to come over today."
"I know, but I just had a feeling I should come and see you!"
"I'm fine," I say as my smile quickly fades into a false one, hoping pinkie didn't notice. I took another bite of my ice cream.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, if you say so."
We then proceeded to finish our desserts. Once we were finished, Pinkie broke the silence.
"How about we go for a walk? I think we need some fresh air."
"Okay." I shrugged. "I need some exercise anyway."
Not that it really helps with my mood, but it's good to try to stay active.
We walked outside and started talking a bit. I tried my best to listen and pay attention, but I kept spacing out occasionally. Pinkie's speed talking didn't help too much either.
The cuts on my leg burned as the fabric rubbed against my coat. I tried to ignore it, but my mind fixated on it. It quickly turned into itching. I rubbed the aria as we continued walking.
"How has your writing been going lately?"
I shrugged. "Been kinda slow, haven't had the drive to write lately."
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Just a bad case of writer's block I guess." I fibbed.
"Oh, sorry to hear that, Scriptie!"
"Nah, it's fine I'm used to it."
"Oh, I think I forgot something at my place, you okay if we stop by and grab it?"
"Sure."
We then proceeded to walk towards the sweets shop where she lived.
Pinkie opened the door to Sugar Cube Corner.
"Why is it so dark in here?" I asked as I walked inside.
Suddenly, a light turned on and confetti filled the room.
"Surprise!"
I looked around, finding my friends in the room with party favors and party hats. Pinkie grabbed one out of nowhere and placed it on my head along with a noisemaker.
I let out a giggle as a small smile grew on my face. I then turned to Pinkie. "You really didn't have to do this, Pinkie."
"I know, but we had to celebrate with you at some point! After all, you're leaving town soon for a vacation and won't be back for like, a really really long time!"
I rolled my eyes. "Pinkie, I'll only be gone for a month."
"Yeah, but what if-"
"I won't forget you, or anyone else, and I'll write to you whenever I can."
Ellie walked over to me, putting her arm around my neck and chuckled. "Come on, Pinkie. Calm down, we're at a party. Let's just focus on celebrating right now."
I smiled at Ellie as a thank you and walked over to my friends to have some fun for the night.
We played games, like pin the tail on the pony, dunking apples, and my all-time favorite, karaoke. I actually felt like I was happy for the first time in forever.
After games, we opened presents. I decided to open Ellie's first. I shook the box, trying to figure out what it was.
"Is it a new Daring Do book?" I asked jokingly.
Ellie laughed. "You have to open it, and find out!"
I tore off the wrapping paper, one of my favorite things to do with presents, then opened the box finding a new sketchbook.
"Thanks! I've been meaning to get a new one lately, my last one is almost full."
"Glad you like it!"
"Open mine next!" Pinkie squealed as she handed me a box. I took it and unwrapped it.
"Oh, sweet! I've been meaning to find an easy recipes book for a while now, thanks!"
Pinkie let out a giggle. "I had a feeling!"
I opened Bookie's next, which was one of the latest mystery books that came out. Radioflash got me a new heart necklace and Lotus Moon got me a new flower hairpiece.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Pinkie dashed across the room then back to where she was before. "Lilly couldn't make it, but she left you this!"
I smiled at Pinkie as I took the present from her, opening it to find a first draft of her latest book. I carefully took out the book wrapped in twine and placed it next to my Daring Do book.
Finally, it was time for everyone to go home.
I thanked everyone for coming as they left, then walked back inside to rest for a bit. Pinkie sat down next to me.
"Have fun?" She asked.
I forced a tired smile. "Best party I've ever had."
Pinkie let out a giggle.
We sat for a moment in silence.
"So what happened to your arm?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said as I pulled on my sleeve. Pinkie sighed and furrowed her brow.
"Script, I saw them, let me see." She said as she stared me right in the eyes. "Please."
I sighed in defeat as I rolled up my sleeves, revealing several cuts on my arms. I heard a painful gasp come out of her mouth.
"S-sorry, I... should just go..." I muttered.
As I got up, Pinkie grabbed me by the hoof and pulled me back down. I looked away, unable to see the painful look in her eyes. I shut my eyes tight as I began to cry. I felt her pull me into a tight hug, almost like her usual strangling ones, but this one felt different
It felt warm, almost like a soft blanket, like how Mom used to cradle me whenever I was scared. I slowly wrapped my hooves around her as I felt my walls crashing down. I began wailing at the top of my lungs as my eyes filled with tears.
"Why does life have to be so cruel?" I sobbed. "I hate it! I hate it so bucking much... I never asked for any of this! I never wanted this!"
Pinkie just held me and gently stroked my mane, listening to me bawl like a filly.
"I might not know how to help you, but I know a hug can go a long way." She said. "But I need to ask you something, Script. Do you plan on killing yourself?”
"I've thought about it…" I sniffed.
"You wanna stay at my place for the night?"
I look at Pinkie with a tired smile. "Yeah. That sounds nice."
I then rested my head against her as she wrapped her arm around me. I finally felt like I was at peace and safe.
"Thanks, Pinkie Pie," I say with a smile on my face.
Sometimes All That's Needed Is A Hug
Pinkie wasn’t stupid. She knew a lot of things about her friends, sometimes she pretended not to so that they wouldn’t be hurt, but this thing was hurting because she couldn’t bring it up without hurting her friend. Scriptie’s birthday was coming up in a week, but Pinkie had decided that today was a good day to celebrate because Scriptie was leaving for a vacation soon and she needed some cheering up.
“Hiya Ellie!” Pinkie snuck up on the unsuspecting gryphon, who screeched and lept up into the air.
“Stars and rainbows Pinkie, you scared me.” Ellie slowly descended to normal speaking range.
“Sorry!” Pinkie was sure she didn’t sound it cause of her excitement, but it didn’t matter, “I’m hosting an Early Birthday and Vacation Farewell Party for Scriptie later today! I hope you can make it!” Pinkie pulled an invitation from her mane and handed it to Ellie.
“Oh, sure! I’ll definitely be there!” Ellie accepted the invitation and smiled.
Pinkie waved to Ellie as she flew off, probably to get Scriptie a gift, she was the type to leave everything till the last minute. Pinkie skipped off to the next guest when the gryphon had flown out of sight. Bookie was in the park with her special somepony. Lotus was at home. Radio was found in the Market. And finally Lilly was at the train station, but she was going out of town to meet with her editor that day so she couldn’t come but she left Pinkie with a gift for Script, it was a copy of the first draft of her most recent story cause she knew that Scriptie enjoyed reading her work.
Overall today was a success, so Pinkie was feeling good when she knocked on Scriptie’s door. It took Scriptie a minute to answer, but she called Pinkie’s attention up to her window to tell her that she would be down in a minute. Pinkie wasn’t too sure what she replied with but she never let her smile fall when she saw the blood. Sometimes she was glad she was the Element of Laughter. Pinkie pulled out her Party Cannon while she waited for Scriptie.
Pinkie set off the cannon as the door opened, “Happy one week before your Birthday, Scriptie!” She gave a huge smile. Scriptie forced a giggle, Pinkie could tell, but her smile didn’t look as wrong as yesterday. “I know you don’t like cake, so I made you some Ice Cream instead!” Pinkie pulled said cold treat out for Scriptie and offered it to her.
“Thanks!” Scriptie accepted the treat, “Come in.” Pinkie followed Scriptie into her living room. She pulled a spoon out for her friend before she sat.
“Don’t worry it’s clean!” Pinkie reassured at Scriptie’s sceptical look. Pinkie sat when Scriptie took the spoon, and pulled out a fork for her cake. They ate in silence for a moment before Scriptie asked a question.
“So, you made this at home then?”
“Mmhm!” Pinkie hummed confirmation around her bite. “It's a new recipe I found from one of Twilight's books, you like it?"
Scriptie nodded, smiling as she took another bite, and this one was real, was right.
"You know, you really didn't have to come over today." Scriptie says.
"I know, but I just had a feeling I should come and see you!" Pinkie replied honestly.
"I'm fine." Scriptie’s smile became wrong again and Pinkie stifled a sigh.
"You sure?" Pinkie pretended to not notice.
"Yeah."
"Okay, if you say so."
They settled into silence again, Pinkie knew that she should let Scriptie talk about it on her own, but it was hard so she stayed silent. When they finished their desserts, Pinkie stood up suddenly.
"How about we go for a walk?” Pinkie asked, it was almost time for the Party, “I think we need some fresh air."
Scriptie shrugged and agreed, saying something about exercise. Pinkie smiled and ushered Scriptie out of her house, not making a fuss when she continued wearing her sweater even though it was the middle of summer. Pinkie tried to engage her friend in their conversation, but it was obvious that she was distracted by something. Pinkie noticed that she tried to not move her foreleg too much so she set a sedate pace.
“How’s your writing been going lately?” Pinkie turned the topic to something interesting.
“It’s been kinda slow, haven’t had the drive to write lately.” Scriptie shrugged.
“Oh? Why’s that?” Pinkie had a feeling she knew the answer already.
“Just a bad case of writer’s block I guess.”
“Oh, sorry to hear that, Scriptie!” Pinkie ignored the fib as she felt her back become itchy then her left ankle became achy, the Pinkie Sense for ‘Imminent Party’. "Oh, I think I forgot something at my place, you okay if we stop by and grab it?"
"Sure." Scriptie said. Pinkie skipped ahead of Scriptie when they got close to Sugarcube Corner, and got into place. “Why is it so dark in here?” Scriptie asked as she entered.
“Surprise!” Pinkie jumped out of hiding and placed a party hat on Scriptie’s head, and gave her a party blower.
“You really didn’t have to do this, Pinkie.” Scriptie smiled for real again and let loose a giggle.
"I know, but we had to celebrate with you at some point! ”Pinkie pointed out playfully. “After all, you're leaving town soon for a vacation and won't be back for like, a really really long time!"
"Pinkie, I'll only be gone for a month."
"Yeah, but what if-"
"I won't forget you, or anyone else, and I'll write to you whenever I can."
Ellie came up and pulled Scriptie into the Party with a few words. The party went off without a hitch, they played party games and sang karaoke and opened presents. Eventually the guests had to leave and Pinkie and Script were alone.
“Have fun?” Pinkie asked.
Scriptie smiled tiredly, “Best party I’ve ever had.” Pinkie giggled at that, and an uncomfortable silence fell between the two, Pinkie struggled with her next question. It had to be asked tho.
“So what happened to your arm?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Scriptie tugged on her sweater sleeve.
“Script, I saw already, so let me see.” Pinkie was totally serious, “Please.” she was fairly sure her eyes were watering. Scriptie held Pinkie’s gaze for a moment before sighing in defeat and rolling up her sleeves. Now that she could see the full extent of the damage, Pinkie couldn’t hold in her gasp of horror as she choked on her tears.
"S-sorry, I... should just go..." Scriptie began but Pinkie pulled her into a hug, firm but gentle. Like the ones Pinkie remembered her Granny Pie used to give her when she was scared or sad. Pinkie listened as Scriptie bawled, letting it all out.
“I might not know how to help you, but I know a hug can go a long way." Pinkie just held Scriptie, almost afraid to let her go, that Scriptie would fall apart if she did. "But I need to ask you something, Script. Do you plan on killing yourself?”
“I’ve thought about it…” Scriptie’s answer crushed Pinkie
“Do you wanna stay at my place tonight?” It was the only thing Pinkie could think of.
“Yeah. That sounds nice.” Scriptie sniffed and smiled. It was a good smile. Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Scriptie as she relaxed into Pinkie’s chest. “Thanks, Pinkie Pie.”
When Scriptie fell asleep Pinkie carried her up to her apartment and bandaged up her cuts before tucking her into bed and going back downstairs to clean up.
Author's Note
Again, thank you Ellie for helping me write this story. It turned out better than I thought it would.
