Dash's Dilemma

Dash's Dilemma

Dash had had that dream again. Only, it wasn't so much a dream anymore. With all of the evidence laid bare in her mind, she realized that it never really was. The fact that it only played out in her dreams was the fault of her subconscious, only able to break through Dash's psyche when her mind was unfocused, and would otherwise be a vision of infinite blackness. No, it wasn't a dream. It was a memory.

Rainbow Dash was running through the Everfree Forest, focused on one thing: survival. Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy were in front of her, dodging trees as they sped through, risking backwards glances every once in a while to gauge their distance. The beast chasing them was large enough that every step it took shook the ground beneath her and she would have taken to the skies, if only the thick barrier of leaves and branches above her head wasn't there.

She wasn't sure what was chasing her or why they'd been in the Everfree Forest in the first place; all she was sure of, was that Rarity bribed her with a signed Wonderbolts poster. Of course, Twilight had explained the entire situation a few times and Rainbow tried to pay attention, she really had. But, regardless of their relationship, she really couldn't; it was just too boring, and Dash was only interested in the poster anyways. Now that she was being chased by some giant thing, though, Dash was starting to wonder why they were in the Everfree Forest in the first place.

A high-pitched scream from behind broke her chain of thought. She looked back and saw Applejack speeding towards Rarity just as a large, clawed hand reached for the unicorn. Pinkie Pie slammed into the hand and the owner roared louder than ever before, almost shattering Dash's eardrums in the process. Applejack, with Rarity slung over her back, ran back towards Dash and Pinkie was running on three legs; her fourth was holding the shoulder that had slammed into the creature's hand.

The six mares continued on through the forest, the creature's pounding footsteps growing louder and louder, shaking the earth beneath them and making it more difficult to run. A loud thud, followed by a long, piercing shriek, and Rainbow turned her head to the left just in time to see a pink blur crash through a tree and collapse in a heap at the base of another. She pushed ahead faster and slung the unconscious pink pony on to her back, before rushing back up to her friends.

The four of them were dirt-ridden, sweaty, and panting heavily. Twilight was resting on the stump of a fallen tree, and the other three were slowly trotting up to gather around the unicorn.

Twilight raised a hoof in the air and spoke. "Wait."

The unicorn's ears flickered about in an attempt to grasp some nearly inaudible sound. "Do you guys hear that?"

The six ponies fell silent at Twilight's question, ears twitching about, trying to pick up on any sounds nearby.

Twilight got off her stump and walked forwards a bit. "It's too quiet..."

Rainbow placed Pinkie Pie on the ground next to Applejack, and began walking over to her marefriend. She heard the snapping branches and stopped, looking around for the source of the sound.

"TWILIGHT!" Applejack's voice called from behind her. Rainbow Dash spun around quickly and saw a tree flying fast towards her.

"WATCH OU-" was all she'd heard before Twilight and the tree trunk filled her vision, and then everything went black.

A memory, that had tried time and time again to remind her what had happened to her beloved. A memory, that her conscious mind had tried and failed to snuff out, to allow the pegasus to live a happy, albeit blissfully ignorant, life. A memory, that had been her undoing.

Much of Rainbow Dash's life had gone by as a blur. Her years spent as the fastest filly in flight school. Her speed left much to be desired, and she was easily distracted by events around her, as often as her own thoughts. Years of being called 'Rainbow Crash' and constantly being held down by unfair school rules. Her only two real friends, Fluttershy and Gilda, two polar opposites, the latter often picking on the yellow pegasus. Dash had stayed in flight school to hang out with the two of them, but couldn't take being held back by the ridiculous rules anymore.

After dropping out of flight school, her sole purpose in life was to join the Wonderbolts. To join the fastest, most skilled flyers in Equestria, to be showered with riches by her thousands of fans, and to wow them all with her amazing stunts. It was one of the three main reasons she flew so often: practicing for the Wonderbolts, clearing clouds, and showing off.

Rainbow Dash looked out at the darkness around her. It was the perfect environment for her: a welcome reminder of the empty nothingness her life had become.

The Wonderbolts.

She had spent years obsessing over the pegasus team, memorizing everything she could about them. She could recite, from memory, names, cutie marks, coat colors, mane colors, favorite foods, drinks, colors, stunts, vacation areas, conversational topics, sports, games, everything about the Wonderbolts members. From there, she moved on to the most important part: the show. She watched every routine, every stunt, every small detail countless times to be as prepared as possible when she would finally join the Wonderbolts. Only to have her hopes, her dreams, her only purpose in life, ripped away from her.

It was a short, straight to the point letter. Just three sentences and the taunting signature, an everlasting testament to her inability to accomplish her dreams. The reason, though, was worse than any crash she'd gone through.

It was the greatest choice of her life back then, leaving flight school. Now, it served as the only obstacle between her and the Wonderbolts, an obstacle that could not be gone through, no matter how much she might try. Rejoining flight school was out of the question; a full-grown mare wasn't allowed to attend school with a bunch of foals. But without that diploma, her dreams of ever joining the most spectacular flying team in Equestria had been torn to pieces and thrown to the wind.

Rainbow let the slip of paper she had been holding go, and tilted her head downwards. Her eyes followed where it went, barely making out its shape in the lightless room, watching as it swayed in the air as it continued its fall. Not a sound was made when it touched the ground of her cloud house.

Her thoughts drifted on to her friends, who had managed to help her out of her depression after receiving the accursed letter. She had done whatever her friends said, her apathy allowing no comfort in what would have overjoyed or irritated her just days before.

She'd gone to the spa with Rarity, to alleviate stress and calm her mind. The spa ponies even gave the pegasus a 20% discount, knowing what she was going through. The weekly visit accomplished nothing, aside from her muscles relaxing and her coat and mane shining elegantly for a few days each week.

She'd went to every single party Pinkie Pie had held, be it a stop-being-so-sad-and-party party, or a birthday party for somepony she hadn't even met before. Sure, Rainbow could've made tons of new friends at those parties. After all, who wouldn't want to be friends with a pony as awesome as her? Her depression wouldn't have any of that, though, and aside from gaining a few pounds and regular stomach aches, nothing about the pegasus changed.

Fluttershy tried her best to get her to fly around above Ponyville to bring her out of it, cheering as loudly as her near-whispers would allow. Sometimes Pinkie Pie would come down to the spot Fluttershy was at and watch with her, screaming at the top of her lungs to lift the pegasus's spirits. While all of the daily exercise served as an excellent way to lose the weight she was gaining, her love for flying didn't come back, nor was she thrilled when she pulled off a rather difficult trick. In fact, since she wasn't worried about humiliation or pain should she crash, she flew even better than ever before during that time.

Applejack challenged her to a variety of competitions and games to get her aggressive, competitive side out. The pair even went through larger events: an Iron Pony competition, a mock Running of the Leaves, a specially-modified version of the Sisterhooves Social. After Rainbow came through and let her competitiveness take over, the farmer reasoned, getting her back to her old self would be a piece of cake. Sure, Rainbow Dash figured out she could still feel tired and hungry, but Applejack's attempts all ended up as more failures.

Dash looked straight forward once again, forgetting about the paper littering her floor. She briefly wondered where Tank was, but assured herself that the tortoise was on his way to his previous home at Fluttershy's cottage.

She decided, just then, that she really liked the darkness. It was all she could imagine: just a vast expanse of nothingness for eternity, away from all the worries and hardships of her life. A place where one could just kick back, relax, and do absolutely nothing forever, without a care in the world. Maybe she could jump into the darkness and fly around for a while; surely the void wouldn't deprive her of her flight.

Her thoughts settled on how the four would cope with losing another close friend so soon. She wasn't sure, really. They seemed to get over Twilight's death easily enough, but how would they react with losing a second, not five months after the first? They would all stick close together and think of all the good memories of Dash, she reasoned. After all, they had all gotten closer since Twilight and Rainbow had gotten together.

Fluttershy and Twilight would hang out on a hill, enjoying a picnic and watching their favorite blue pegasus fly around in the sky. They would chat idly about anything and everything as their eyes followed the mare: books, animals, Canterlot, Cloudsdale, the Wonderbolts. The two would never stay on one topic too long, and where one ended, a new one rose up to take its place.

Twilight would stop by at the farm to fill up the picnic basket with all sorts of treats, and Applejack would join them on the hill sometimes. The cowpony brought with her many more interesting topics: Manehattan, business management, Appleoosa, irrigation. She and Fluttershy could talk for hours about animals and gardening, and Twilight was very interested in the fields of botany and agriculture.

Pinkie Pie would join in at random times, along with several dozen cupcakes in tow. She could really get conversations going, and the other three learned to just go with whatever topic Pinkie managed to bring up. A discussion on the proper amount of water certain plants needed could turn into a philosophical debate on the strength of oven mitts, and then go straight to a cupcake-eating contest, which Pinkie would always win.

Twilight convinced Rainbow to go to the spa with her, Fluttershy, and Rarity a few times. Rarity would dominate most of the conversations, complaining about how Sweetie Belle spilled petroleum jelly all over her dress, or shamelessly complimenting herself for how much of a good job she does with all of her dresses. The few times the conversations included all four of them, they found themselves talking about whatever came to mind or gossiping about famous ponies doing naughty, naughty things.

Yes, Rainbow Dash concluded. They'll do fine without me.

The thought of her friends living their lives without the emotional mask they wore, and actually being truly happy around one another again, was just another reason for her to leave them.

She looked forward to entering this empty world her mind created, and she put little thought into kicking away the stool supporting her. She fell for a brief moment before the rope around her neck went taut, and she made no attempt to flap her wings and soar upwards to allow herself room to breathe.

Traces of a smile entered her features as her thoughts came to Twilight, the mare that had brought her out of her depression just by letting her be herself, and not forcing her to do anything she didn't want to. The mare that had been satisfied with anything Dash had done, be it brooding alone in a corner, or complaining about anything and everything wrong with her life. The mare that shared the last four and a half months of her life with Dash, as the two gave each other the happiest times of their lives. The mare that was waiting for her in her empty little world, snoozing soundlessly atop the soft ground of the void.

The room around her darkened further and small stars appeared in her peripheral vision, stars much like the ones adorning Twilight's flanks. It was a welcome sight, and it reminded her of who was waiting for her on the other side. Time seemed to pass slowly as her room gave way to the black world awaiting her, her smile fading into a slight frown as gravity proved too strong for Dash's weakening muscles.

Small stars clouded around her darkening vision, and she barely noticed a bright white light shining through before closing her eyes, welcoming darkness eternal.