Harmony U

Because it was the closest non-dorm house to campus, girls’ night was held at Fluttershy’s house. Her parents were on some kind of extended cruise around the world and her brother was on some kind of extended couch-surfing tour at a friend’s house, so the girls had the place to themselves.

Sunset was the first to arrive, and Fluttershy was at the door waiting to greet her.

“Hey Flutterbutt!” Sunset waved as she came inside.

“Um h-hey, Sunset!” Fluttershy said meekly, holding the door open.

Fluttershy was wearing a full green pajama set, which included long pants, a long-sleeve sleep shirt, and even a little sleeping cap.

Sunset was wearing her own pajamas: a hot pink loose crop top and tight pink spandex short shorts. Twilight came next in a very sensible purple and white short sleeved cotton shirt and matching shorts. After that was Pinkie Pie in her blue and pink balloon-patterned PJ set. And then Rarity in a short blue and white night gown adorned with lots of lace and a huge bow on the chest.

The girls were starting in towards the living room when there was one final knock on the door. Fluttershy opened it.

“Uh, hey ya’ll. Got room for one more?”

“Applejack!” the girls cried in unison, beckoning her inside. She was wearing a modest pajama set with long pants and long sleeved shirt.

Sunset Shimmer smirked. “So I guess the camping trip got cancelled?” She raised one eyebrow skeptically.

“Uh, yeah… the weather got to lookin’ bad so we called it off.” Applejack blushed.

“Hmm, lucky us,” said Sunset.

There was a loud ‘POP!’ as Pinkie Pie fired a confetti popper.

“Well let’s not wait around here, IT’S PARTY TIME!” She grabbed Fluttershy and Rarity by the hands and dashed into the living room. Sunset looked at Applejack and Twilight and shrugged, then all three followed the others into the living room.

Fluttershy had already laid out the snacks that Pinkie had brought over the day before. A ridiculous assortment of cupcakes, cookies, full multi-tiered cakes, brownies, turnovers, lemon bars, custard tarts, jellos, candies and even whole pies covered a large coffee table. There were also drinks around, mostly different flavors and brands of soda, as well as a huge bowl of fruit punch. None of the girls looked even remotely surprised. When Pinkie Pie partied, Pinkie Pie partied hard.

“IT’S GLORIOUS!!!” shouted Pinkie Pie, diving head-first into the snacks, taking a cupcake in one hand and brownie in the other.

“Didn’t you make it all, Pinkie? Aren’t you sick of snacks?” asked Rarity.

“Mmm!” said Pinkie, swallowing a huge mouthful of sugar and… well mostly just sugar. “But I haven’t been able to eat any until now! I let Sonata have all the extra.”

Rarity grimaced. “Poor Sonata… her figure’s going to suffer! Although…” she looked at Pinkie scarfing down her third triple-chocolate-chip cookie, “maybe some people don’t have to worry about that.”

Everyone went around the table getting a little plate of snacks and making small-talk about classes and everyday life.

“Wow, Pinkie, this is all really good,” said Twilight. “What did you put in the punch? I love it!” she said, taking a drink.

Most of the other girls murmured their agreement.

“I don’t suppose you have anything sugar-free and… low carb, do you, darling?” asked Rarity.

“Of course not, silly! Sugar and carbs are the best part!”

“I suppose I’ll just stick to punch then.”

After loading up their plates, the girls sat on the floor around the table to chit-chat and gossip. Twilight sat down next to Sunset.

“Hey, thanks again for helping me get my head out of the books. I know I get carried away sometimes,” Twilight looked sheepishly at the ground.

Sunset smiled warmly at her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, Twi! Plus, I just invited you, you could have declined if you wanted. You’re stronger than you think you are, you know.”

Twilight smiled earnestly.

She was about to say something when Rarity spoke up over everyone:

“Well, shall we get right to business, ladies?” Rarity reached into her bag and pulled out a box of what looked like dozens of bottles of nail polish and other beauty products, as well as a stack of teen magazines. “This is girls’ night, after all!”

Pinkie squealed with glee and even Fluttershy looked excited.

Most of the girls dove in, picking through the nail polish and magazines with gusto.

“Come on, Applejack,” Rarity said, scooting over to where Applejack was sitting with her arms crossed.

“I - I don’t understand what the point of nail polish is when it just comes off after a week anyway… and those magazines are downright hokey if ya ask me.”

Rarity rolled her eyes and tugged Applejack’s arms apart, taking one into one of her own, and grabbing a bottle of polish from the table with the other. “Oh but darling, this color is perfect for your skin tone! Don’t you want to let your feminine side loose for a weekend?”

“You know I don’t have a femenine bone in my body. I would just look weird with painted nails,” Applejack said, but let Rarity keep holding her hand anyway.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s true at all. All girls have a femenine side, dear, you included!” She started brushing paint on one of Applejack’s nails.

“That may be easy for you to say, you’re all… curvy and… cute… and stuff,” Applejack looked off towards the ceiling, avoiding eye-contact with Rarity and blushing.

A small grin tugged at the corners of Rarity’s lips. “Oh? Is that so? And what kind of ‘stuff’ do you mean?”

Applejack blushed even more and stammered: “Y-you know, like fashionable and pretty and… oh, just forget it…”

Rarity giggled as she dipped the brush back into the bottle and started on another nail. “You’re too sweet my dear! But you know, I think you’re those things too, in your own way.”

“You’re just sayin’ that. There ain’t no way I’m ‘cute’ and I’m about as fashionable as a cactus in December.”

Rarity giggled again. “Really now? You don’t think it’s cute when you get all flustered? Or how your accent comes out a little more when you’re nervous?”

“I- I ain’t flustered!”

“- Plus you have those freckles that make your lovely green eyes just pop! I think any boy would die to get to know you.”

“W-well I definitely don’t care ‘bout what boys think!” Applejack was looking everywhere except for at Rarity. She was sure her palms were sweaty, but Rarity finished her first hand and grabbed the second one to start on anyway.

“You aren’t interested in boys? Well... that’s good then.” Rarity quickly peeked up from painting Applejack’s nails for a moment to glance at Applejack’s face, wearing a bit more blush than she had been before.

Applejack didn’t say anything, just squirmed a little on her knees.

“Aaand, finished!” Rarity let go of Applejack’s hands. “Now don’t touch anything until they’re completely dry, understand? They look beautiful!”

Applejack looked at her nails. They were a light peach color, not especially bold, but undeniably more girly. Applejack blushed. She did feel more feminine. “Uh, thanks, Rare,” she said, and very briefly looked Rarity in the eyes. The smile they shared sent electricity down both their spines.

“FUCK, MARRY, KILL!” Pinkie Pie yelled, ruining the mood. Everyone looked up at her.

“That doesn’t sound nice at all,” said Fluttershy with a funny sort of giggle-hiccup combo from where she sat by the punch bowl. She had just finished having her hair braided by Twilight. And she was starting on her third cup of punch.

“Didn’t we try playing that back at Canterlot High? I doubt our answers will have changed drastically from then. One can only have so many celebrity crushes,” Twilight said.

“Yeah,” agreed Sunset, “and most of us haven’t had enough time to care about pop-culture since starting college.”

Pinkie Pie grinned deviously.

“Who said anything about celebrities? We’re playing Fuck, Marry, Kill: Besties Edition! It’s the same concept but you can ONLY choose from the girls sitting around this table at this very moment!” Pinkie’s eyes narrowed as she looked around at all the nervous faces around the table.

“Uh Pinkie, don’t you think that will be a little… awkward?” said Sunset.

“No way, Jose! This is a classic party game! We’ll do it anonymously with slips of paper and count the votes at the end. It’ll be fun! Come on, who’s the party-person here?”

The other girls looked at each other, unable to argue with Pinkie’s logic. Most of them were on their second cup of punch at least.

Pinkie handed out three pieces of paper to each girl. “Any questions before we begin?” she said with a sly tilt of the head.

Fluttershy raised her hand. “Umm when you say ‘fu - f.. the ‘F’ word, do you mean… umm… like if they were a boy or… umm…”

“No! You have to fuck one of your friends, exactly as they are! I’m talkin’ fingers, tongues, and toys! Anything goes!”

Fluttershy turned beet red.

“And umm, we have to choose from… each other?” Applejack asked with concern.

“Yes! You have five choices and you can’t choose the same person twice!”

Twilight also raised her hand. “I don’t understand the concept of this exercise. Unless we’ve taken the time to appropriately measure compatibility traits and weigh a variety of factors that may contribute to -”

“FUCK, MARY, KILL, GO!” yelled Pinkie.

The girls all looked down at the pieces of paper in front of them. Some, like Pinkie Pie and Sunset, began writing right away, while the others stopped to think.

Applejack looked around the table. Rarity brushed her purple hair while she thought. Her face was smooth and perfectly pale, with just enough makeup to accentuate the natural subtle beauty of her features. Applejack hovered her pen between ‘Fuck’ and ‘Marry’ but couldn’t decide. She looked away and accidentally made eye contact with Pinkie Pie. Surely she wasn’t looking at Applejack, right? She must have imagined it. Unless… Applejack grumbled and tried to think clearly. Maybe she shouldn’t overthink it. It’s not like it was a real confession after all. She didn’t have to be honest, she only had to write names. Who would the others choose? Rarity would definitely have tons of votes. She started writing names.

Twilight was stumped. As far as marriage was concerned, it made sense to choose a partner that offered the most stability. In that regard, Pinkie Pie’s baking and Rarity’s clothes making both indicated the possibility of a stable career. But shouldn’t she also want to fuck her life partner? They weren’t allowed to put the same name twice. Could there be more to the game than she had assumed? She had never considered herself very sexual but… even she had urges sometimes. She glanced up at Sunset, who was already finished and smiling while sipping her punch. What had she written? She had to have someone’s name under ‘Fuck’ and ‘Marry,’ right? Could it be… Twilight shook her head and quickly jot down three names.

Fluttershy giggled and sipped at her fifth cup of punch. She was dizzy. She looked around the table at her friends and hiccuped, wearing a kind of bubbly smile. Her head was swimming. She looked at Sunset and vague memories of being bullied in highschool sent tingles through her body. She remembered Pinkie Pie’s words: ‘fingers, tongues, and toys…’ and let one hand slide into her pajama bottoms under the table. She wrote a name, giggling.

There was absolute silence except for the scratching of pens for several minutes until they finally stopped.

“Is everyone finally finished?” Pinkie Pie was bouncing on her knees. “Hand ‘em in!”

“Wait, what? We have to give them to you?” asked Applejack, pulling her sheets back defensively.

“Uh, doi! How else are we gonna know how many people wanna fuck us?”

“B-but won’t you be able to tell who wrote what by the handwriting? I thought this was supposed to be anonymous.”

“It is! I can’t tell handwriting apart! It all looks the same to me!” Pinkie said, grabbing Fluttershy and Rarity’s sheets as she went around the table.

“It’s true,” Twilight shrugged, “she has a kind of rare dyslexia that makes handwriting all look the same to her. These sheets may as well be typed as far as she’s concerned. It’s really quite fascinating! And convenient at times...”

Applejack begrudgingly gave up her sheets to Pinkie.

Pinkie eagerly counted the totals while everyone else waited in the nervous silence. They results ended up like this:

Pinkie Pie -

Fuck: 1, Marry: 1, Kill: 2

Sunset Shimmer -

Fuck: 1, Marry: 1, Kill: 2

Twilight Sparkle -

Fuck: 0, Marry: 1, Kill: 1

Applejack -

Fuck: 1, Marry: 1, Kill: 0

Rarity -

Fuck: 0, Marry: 0, Kill:1

Fluttershy -

Fuck: 3, Marry: 2, Kill: 0

Sunset raised her eyebrows, “Wait, three different people chose Fluttershy to…”

“To fuck!” said Pinkie.

Fluttershy, now laying down on the floor giggled, “Yay!”

“Who in tarnation wants to fuck me?” Applejack asked, confused.

Rarity was practically sobbing. “At least someone wants to fuck you! I’m going to die a lonely virgin, probably murdered by one of my friends! There has to be a mistake!” She put her hands pleadingly on Pinkie Pie’s shoulders.

“Pinkie, are you sure you read the names right? ‘Fluttershy’ and ‘Rarity’ can look very similar depending on who’s writing!”

“Mhm, I’m sure! Well, a few were kinda hard to read. This one says ‘twi-bertt’ but I just kinda assumed that it was supposed to say Twilight.

Fluttershy giggled uncontrollably on the floor, “hehehe, oops…”

“Uhh, is she okay?” asked Applejack.

Pinkie Pie looked at Fluttershy, who was surrounded by at least six empty punch cups. “Meh, she’s fine. I get that way sometimes too when I party! There cannot be a sugar rush without a sugar crash, not without years of training, at least!”

Sunset smirked. “So... who’s trying to fuck me? Rarity?”

Rarity scoffed. “Absolutely not! You should be more worried about your kill column!”

“Meh,” Sunset shrugged, “considering everything that I did before Twilight - er, the other Twilight - came to save me? I’m surprised I only got two.”

Pinkie Pie nodded her agreement: “Haters gonna hate!”

Twilight offered a consoling hand to Rarity, “Don’t worry, I didn’t get any fucks either. Being a virgin doesn’t matter if you have friendship!”

Rarity’s lips quivered for a few seconds before she burst into an out-out bawl.