Five Score And One For The Road

I thought I was handling sobriety well today. But after we got all of our hugging and crying out of our systems everyone else was feeling better and I was feeling worse. The shakiness I could ignore. The way the sweat stuck to my coat and the dizziness I felt from my racing heart, I couldn’t.

As soon as Ruby insisted she was okay I got out of that stuffy house and sat outside on the porch waiting to vomit. When I got like this vomiting always made me feel better. At the very least, the heat leaving my body with my lunch would cool me off a little. I needed to vomit. I wanted this feeling of wrongness out of me.

The vomiting didn’t come. Instead, going from a dark house into the bright spring afternoon brought on a headache. There was so much weakness in my body and I was emotionally exhausted. The light hurt.

I really wanted a cigarette.

As I started to wonder if ponies could even vomit, the front door opened. Carrot Top, the pony I least expected, came out with what I least expected: a Mason jar hanging in a towel from her mouth.

“Hay,” I croaked. She came over and set down the jar.

“It’s moonshine actually,” she teased coolly. “Comet told me you were going through withdrawal.”

“Yeah. I’m trying to quit,” I said, eyeing the jar. It seemed to glisten in the daylight.

“That’s great but you look bad. I don’t want you seizing in front of your daughter. And I can’t exactly call an ambulance if you do either.” She scooted the jar closer to me. This was the Claudia I knew. She could help you and insult you in the same breath. And of course, she wanted everything her way. I’d let her have this. I wanted this anyway.

“...you’re right,” I relented. I straddled the jar and worked on trying to unscrew the lid with my fore hooves. Carrot stood there and watched me carefully. After some grunts and effort I got it open.

“How long since your last drink?” she asked as she was undoubtedly getting ready to judge me.

“Last night. Kind of late,” I said while I got the lid off and raised the jar up to get a sniff. Satisfied it was the drinkable kind of poison, I took a shot’s worth. With Carrot watching and the lack of diluents, there wasn’t much joy in it. The heat did nothing for me but the dryness helped.

Wait, no.

No, it didn’t.

I ran to the edge of the porch and every muscle in my throat, chest and barrel violently seized before I reached it. My legs locked. Reddish-orange sludge projected out of me before I even made it to the end of the porch. The tomato and stomach acid burned everything on the way out and got into my oversized pony nasal cavity. By the time I started dry retching my strength was gone and my legs didn’t want to hold me anymore. I plopped onto my stomach in front of my mess. I was so weak I felt hollow. Finished. Vomiting usually made me feel better, that felt like it nearly killed me. Maybe it should have.

If I wasn’t ashamed for throwing up onto Carrot’s porch right in front of her I would have just laid down and slept it off right there.

“Feel any better?” Carrot Top asked.

“Yeah,” I burped and looked over my shoulder. “You want a shot? It’s pretty smooth.”

Carrot sighed. “I’ll get some water and we can try again,” Carrot promised as she left me there with my puddle of shame.

I watched the half-digested clumps of cornbread and vegetables sail across the red lake towards the edge of the porch. There were some distant birds chirping away. My brain latched onto the repetitive chirping. I could really use a cold toilet bowl to press my head against.

Carrot eventually came back with a bowl of sloshing water clutched in her bite. She sat it down next to me. I could feel the coolness radiating off of it. My throat needed the water so badly I didn’t even hesitate to drink out of a bowl. I stuck my whole muzzle in and drank. I only let up when I finally needed to breath again. Some water got up my nostrils and the coughing was worth the cooling effect in my nasal cavity.

While I was drinking Carrot Top disappeared from my vision and reappeared when I came back up for air. She held the Mason jar in her hooves and poured some of its contents right onto my remaining water.

“Drink,” she ordered curtly. Feeling low, I obeyed her again without protest. It wasn’t good as water or moonshine. I gagged a bit but kept it down. In a display of passion Carrot brushed my mane back out of my face.

“You need to get better, Berry Punch,” she stated simply. “She’s going to need you.”

“...I know,” I acknowledged without looking up from the bowl. She brushed my mane a bit more with her fetlock.

“And you know...” she hesitated. “...after all of this is done? We’re all going to need you. We’re going to need everypony to pitch in to rebuild.” At that I looked around at her little farm operation, confused. Turning my neck hurt from my jaw down. Every muscle was sore. I think I even tensed up my legs too hard.

“Rebuild what?” I asked weakly.

“Equestria: our home,” she explained simply. I finally looked up at her to try and figure out if that was a joke. It wasn’t.

“That’s... not our home,” I rasped. “That’s Discord’s home now.” The burning in my throat still lingered; I wondered if I tore something.

“For now. But not forever. We’ll stop Discord like all the other times. If the Mane Six can get the Elements of Harmony back, they can put him back into stone. Then it’ll be up to us to rebuild.”

She had to know she was oversimplifying this.

“Those ponies are probably in the same boat as us though, right? Twilight without her spells. Rainbow Dash without her Sonic Rainboom?” I questioned. Not to mention this hinged on The Elements still existing. And working for the Mane Six. And for Discord being able to be put back into stone.

“Right. And that’s why they’ll need all our help.”

I shook my head slowly. This pony was crazy.

“You’re talking about fighting Discord. You saw what he could do in a day... Equestria might not even exist anymore.”

“It has to. It’s where we belong,” she insisted.

“‘Why? ‘Because we’re ponies’?” I glared at her. She nodded as if it was such an obvious fact.

“What if… we just look like it? That was literally a lifetime ago,” I reminded her. “I don’t remember that place. That’s not my home. Fighting Discord would be stupid. We just learned how to walk again a few days ago.”

“So... what are you going to do? Just stay here? You’re just...giving up?” she asked me, getting frustrated.

“On‘Equestria’?” I clarified hoarsely. Carrot nodded. “My ‘Equestria’ is in there,” I said, gesturing back inside the house. I had Ruby and some friends, friends from both lives. They wanted me here, they brought me here, despite how worthless I was. That was my home, them wanting me. I was fortunate. Far more fortunate than Blossomforth and other ponies who probably ended up just like her.

Equestria wasn’t real anymore. It would never be again. If it was ever like it was on a little girl’s cartoon show. It was hardly a memory to a lost species that I suddenly learned I was part of. Was it even a complete concept?

“Don’t you want Ruby safe?” Carrot asked. It was rhetorical but it still made me angry she would ask me that. She was trying to appeal to my emotions and I wasn’t in the mood for it. She started screwing the lid back onto the moonshine jar and packing it back up into the towel. She was clearly done with me. I was done with her too. “There’s only one place safe for us: an Equestria without Discord. We have to try. If you’re not willing to defend what you love, it’ll get taken from you,” Carrot philosophized at me.

“Assuming you win!” I spat back. Even if we could get there it would be suicide. Of course if we found a way, Carrot would try to convince all of them to go too. She was the organized one. She was the one in control. She would convince them all eventually. She would lead us to our death. I had no control.

Of course, no one really has any control.

My thoughts about the finale came floating back to me and before Carrot could leave me I verbalized them: this mare needed a reminder.

“Yeah, try your best, doesn’t mean anything will happen! The universe isn’t fair. It doesn’t care about you,” I said while my throat burned. I wondered if I had torn something. Carrot Top turned and stared at me, surprised at my yelling.

“Maybe Discord left! Maybe we’ll show up and all starve on a dead world. Or maybe he’s waiting for us. The smartest mare lasted thirty seconds. I bet the greatest flyer was swatted down. In the end they amounted to nothing. We have no control. We’re nothing and it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters! The only guarantee is we’ll all die eventually so just-” I was cut off from my own coughing. Eventually the tickling in my throat ceased but I took it as a sign to stop myself. I laid my head down.

I didn’t want to fight and die. I didn’t want to risk what we had for what we lost. We didn’t even remember it. I just wanted to be with my friends for as long as I could. Before entropy took us from each other.

Carrot looked angry at me, upset even.

Just as quickly as the anger grew on her face I saw it wash off and get replaced by something more somber. She stepped towards me and brought a hoof out to my head.

I flinched.

She gently petted my mane again.

I expected her to try and convince me again. Tell me I was being pathetic. Tell me I was wrong. I mentally dared her. I watched her emerald eyes for some warning that her fire was coming. I didn’t see it. Instead I just saw her eyes glisten for a while until she finally spoke.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly while looking into my eyes. “This whole thing is a lot to take in all at once. You need time to heal and process it all. We all do.”

“I need to sleep,” I croaked to her as I looked away and closed my eyes. She stopped petting me and I heard her take a few hoof steps away then pause.

“Can you... get up for me first?” she asked. I opened my eyes to look back at her. She gestured to the vomit in front of me. “That’s going to stain.”

I still felt guilty about throwing up. Without protest, I placed one heavy foreleg under me, then two, then tried pushing. My vision went black for a second but my forelegs held easier than I thought.

I got one hind leg under me and then the other. Slowly, I lifted up onto four shaking, bent legs spaced evenly apart. I felt nauseous but I didn’t think I had the strength to vomit again.

Carrot Top got to work immediately. With a pained look, she dragged her full hoof-washing bucket over to me by her teeth and unceremoniously dumped it out across the red puddle. The chunky red paste was washed off the edge of the porch.

I took a few clumsy steps backwards and fell down onto a dry spot. Carrot Top bit down on the bucket’s handle and carried it back to where it went. Then she hesitated.

“Thank you,” she said apologetically. “If you want more stew before supper you know where it is,” she gently reminded me. After a beat she pointed at my bowl. “Don’t forget to finish your alcohol.” She went back inside, with the jar of moonshine.

My stomach hurt, especially after landing on it again. I rolled over onto my side and gave into my new warm spot on the porch. I let the warmth and blackness overtake me.

The blackness didn’t last long.

The screen door creaked open. There were footsteps shortly followed with hoofsteps. I lifted my head slightly to see who it was. Minuette had stopped on the porch while Chad stepped off and was heading around the house to where the car was parked. I decided to ask the obvious despite my body’s protests.

“Going somewhere?”

She looked at me concerned, not bothering to ask if I felt bad because she could just tell. I wondered if they heard me vomiting and complaining and waited to come out.

“I was wanting to see my parents. Now that I know what’s going on I want to tell them,” Minuette hesitated before continuing. “I feel like I need to see them,” she explained with a longing look on her face while she stared off at where Chad had gone. She looked like she wanted to follow him but couldn’t. Even in my state I could tell something was going on between them. Something was wrong.

I rolled onto my sore stomach and examined my friend closer. I was so used to seeing her happy it was clear to me she was bothered, she didn’t even look like the same pony. There was no spring in her gait or the perk to her ears.

“Are you alright?” I asked her while I laid curled up on the ground. She gave me a more endearing smile than I was expecting.

“I’ll be okay,” Minuette promised. “Chad and I have a lot to talk about... We had plans, you know? We were going to get married in the fall and... buy a minivan and everything!” A giggle fell out of her mouth at her choice of words. “This was going to be our crazy little adventure and we’d figure it out and everything was going to go back to normal…” Minuette trailed off. “Now that I know I’m the real Minuette though…” She smiled and made a point to look for eavesdroppers before turning back to me. “Don’t tell anyone but... I really like being a pony... I want to stay one,” she stage whispered. She smiled a little bigger sharing her ‘secret’ and I couldn’t help but smile back. She had been taking this in stride and I had assumed it was entirely because she had Chad with her. She was enjoying this though and that made sense.

“It suits you,” I admitted.

“It does!” Minuette nodded in agreement. Minuette and I both looked to the sound of the car coming around the house to the front porch. “I’m not sure if it suits us though.”

“Right,” I acknowledged dumbly. “You’re going to be okay though?”

“Yes,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Everything will work out one way or another! And whatever way that is they’ll be something positive to find in it. So it’s important to look for it.”

I looked at her confused. I felt like she was talking more to herself than to me. Her eyes came back to me from wherever she was looking.

“How are you doing though? You’re a mom! ...again!” she stressed. Putting together what she said about minivans and her emphasis made me think she was almost jealous.

Oh.

The only comfort was the knowledge she couldn’t have been pregnant during the transformation: she would have told everyone the good news when we first saw each other again.

She was waiting for me to answer.

“Ruby and I’ll be okay. ” I said dismissively. “We’ve always been close. Now we’ll just have different names for each other, I guess. She’s a better adult than me so it’s not like she needs to be raised ...much.” I thought about what she said between sniffles about her ‘lost childhood’ and second guessed my statement a little. “...the weird part is biological. Like I... gave birth to her.”

I tried imagining a vacancy inside of me where she must have been and it made me feel hollow and vulnerable. The idea of being impregnated made me uncomfortable. How long was pony pregnancy? How painful was birth?

“The whole... being a mare thing, really. I really thought I was a guy and this is just… I still don’t know what I am.”

Chad had pulled the car around to just before the porch steps and got out. He waited quietly by the running car, seemingly not wanting to interrupt our conversation. Minuette seemed to search her thoughts quietly until she found a smile to give.

“What do you want to be?” she asked simply. I gave it a little thought. My immediate response was ‘I don’t know’ so I thought a little longer. My second response was ‘it doesn’t matter’. So I thought about what I didn’t want to be and that gave me something. I didn’t want to be dead, really. But our lives were terrifying now and I was scared what would happen to us. I was scared how helpless we were. But if I had a choice in the matter?

“I want to be with my friends. And my daughter. I don’t want to be alone. I... want to get better,” I said looking down at the water bowl and then at my hooved legs. “I guess... being ‘the real me’ would be okay too, whatever that is. If it’s something different. But I don’t know what that is or how to do that.”

Minuette replied by bending over to wrap a hoof around my neck and hug me. I reciprocated by leaning into her fuzzy blue chest. I swear I could smell something minty to her.

“We can be little ponies together! And we’ll relearn what that means together!” Minuette said enthusiastically as she ruffled my mane up with her hoof.

“That... doesn’t sound awful,” I conceded. It was better than Carrot’s plan.

“Great!” She said before turning to Chad, giving him a nod and then turning back to me. “I’ll be back! If you need to talk to anyone before I get back you know the rest of our friends will listen, right?”

It felt like Minuette found me nearly naked and covered in vomit again. I didn’t feel as good as last time.

I nodded.

“Okay. Be a good pony!” Minuette said before she gently booped me right on the end of my muzzle and headed for the car. Chad quietly got the door for her and I watched them leave the way we came in.

I pulled myself forward and drank more of the water-ethanol mixture down. It really was awful. Not enough cold water and the moonshine had been warm. But I was alone now, and didn’t feel too ashamed to take my ‘medicine’.

As if on cue, Comet stepped out onto the porch. He held the screen door open and stood in the opening.

“Ah shoot, we missed her,” Comet said with a bit more indifference than I would have expected.

Ruby stepped out from under his leg propping the door open. It was the first time I had seen her walk more than a few short steps. It lacked a rhythm like I had gotten down days ago and I noticed her tail wasn’t quite as ‘up’ as mine when I walked; telling me she wasn’t confident in her steps yet. But my daughter was walking. It was mesmerizing.

Ruby caught me staring at her and she smiled.

“Mom? Feeling better?” She asked.

“I-I am,” I croaked out. My throat felt tight like I was going to cry but I really didn’t have the strength in my diaphragm to do that.

I knew it wasn’t supposed to be my fault she spent her time as a human in a wheelchair. There had been complications during our birth and she was the second out after several grueling hours. Things just… happen. And they’re not fair. And of course, that meant I couldn’t blame that old lady either. But the facts remained I came out first, unscathed, and she didn’t. I often wondered if I was born second, then if our situations would have been reversed. And I often wondered if the woman who birthed us had the same thought. Our daughter deserved better. And I didn’t. At least now she was getting back some of what she lost twenty-five years ago.

I was going to ask why they were looking for Minuette but my attention came right back to the filly when she shuffled over to me and sat down against me. I immediately slid her against me to hug her and got my hug reciprocated.

“So, you’re better?” Comet asked while visibly taking notice that the water bucket Carrot used to wash her hooves had been dumped out near me.

“Yeah, I just… overheated a bit. From all the love,” I said facetiously and rubbed my face against the little pink foal’s. She playfully tried to squirm away but I refused to let her go.

“Well don’t get started again and puke on me!” she teased.

I responded by pretending to retch onto her. She giggled and I slackened my smothering grip on her so she could move away a bit. After our little antics were out of us we looked up at Comet who was just standing there amused at us.

“So,” I gathered my strength for my next words. “What’s going on?” I asked the stallion.

“Nothin,” Comet Tail said with a dismissive head shake. “I heard Minuette was gonna go see her parents and tell them she’s a pony from another world and Ruby and I almost considered going with them.”

“And maybe go see yours?” Ruby asked Comet. That was an interesting thought.

“How do you think they’d take that?” I asked. Comet’s expression soured a bit and he shrugged.

“Probably pretty well. I think they’d be happy they could say they don’t have a son: they were just raising a stranger.”

A somber quietness overtook the porch. There was clearly something I was missing.

“I… never asked how your reunion went, did I?” I realized.

“It went… okay,” Comet reassured me and himself. “The funny thing is it felt like coming out again: they asked if I could stop it. Asked if I got into drugs. Or if my friends convinced me it was a good idea. Then asked if I prayed for intervention or if I did anything to deserve it. They weren’t angry. Just confused and emotional.”

He shrugged that off. “They housed me and hoped it would all go away eventually while I tried to figure out why it happened.” Comet gave a tired smile. “... all those similarities made me start to wonder if this was just who I’d always been.”

My friend from two lifetimes and I smiled at each other. He knew I was there for him still just like he was for me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you didn’t want to tell them,” Ruby spoke up, sounding small.

“No, it’s fine. I did. A little at first. But I changed my mind,” Comet insisted.

We fell into silence again and I tried to think how to cheer Comet up. A thought came to mind.

“You... want to look at some stars later?” I suggested. A smile grew on Comet’s face.

“Absolutely!” he enthused. After a beat he sat down on his haunches. “Tonight though.”

Well, obviously.

“For now, if you don’t mind me asking again: how are you, Berry Punch?”

I really didn’t want to answer that question. I didn’t want to even think about myself right now.

“You were pretty... bothered last night and didn’t really talk about how you felt about it,” Comet explained. Oh. He wanted to know about that.

“I’m fine,” I half-lied. “Nathan and I got drunk and carried away and... we did some things I regret,” I reiterated weakly. For a moment, I thought to not talk about this in front of Pinchy, but reminded myself she’s over twenty-five years old and knows and accepts most of my flaws.

“Who is Nathan?” Ruby spoke up. “Did I ever meet him?” I didn’t blame her for not remembering him, I barely mentioned him to the rest of my friends.

“Maybe? I used to smoke with him. He lives over in the trailer park and drives that shitty Fusion,” I tried jogging her memory. She shook her head, not remembering.

I needed to give Nathan more justice than that then. I gathered my strength and forced my tired chest to work. “He’s a good person, really. Really awkward but good. He likes ponies. Works hard. Good host. We just got drunk and… messed around. I regret it now. I told him the next day that was a one time thing and he seemed okay with it. Then his dealer came over and I think he got into his head.”

I sighed but made myself continue. I needed to get to the end.

“He wanted to do it again and just about got it. He was drunk and really sad and...” I would have been negligent to stop there. “And... I accidentally broke his arm to get away. Then… people heard him screaming and called the cops. So I ran away.”

My foal hugged me tighter. It was a terrible story of a terrible night. I hugged her back. My slight muscle tremor from vomiting probably made me seem more upset than I was. I was just disappointed and sad we hurt each other.

“So,” Comet started what sounded like a delicate question. “Why did you agree to have sex the first time?”

“I was stupid. And horny. And drunk. I... kind of feel like a whore about it now,” I came clean.

“Mom! You’re not a whore!” Ruby turned to face me quickly, yanking my tail a little in the process. “It was just a mistake; a learning experience!”

“I know, I know,” I relented to the filly. I was probably being hard on myself.

“So… do you think you would have done it if you were sober?” Comet interrogated. I assumed it was a leading question to get me to denounce alcohol.

“Definitely not. I’m not attracted to men,” I said without thinking about my wording. Comet acted like he found what he was looking for.

“That’s what I was wondering about actually,” Comet conceded. “I’d known you for over a decade.” Comet stopped and smiled at his own wording. “Well, I’d known you as Brian for over a decade. You never seemed bicurious or nothing. You knew you could’ve opened up to me and I wouldn’t've judged you about any of it just like you didn’t judge me. But all the times we drank together you never did anything you regretted with me - not that I wanted to, I don’t think of you like that- but... I’ve noticed changes in your behavior since we started changing back and it got me wondering. Are you... now….” Comet stopped to reform his question carefully. “Berry Punch, are you attracted to stallions?”

I felt myself blush and my tail pull back to cower between my hind legs. I knew the answer and it was written on my face. All the way from how my ears flopped to the crinkle at the end of my muzzle. I nodded somewhat shamefully to my stallion friend.

“Huh,” Comet said, more intrigued than surprised. “I can’t say mine’s changed any, but there ain’t exactly been a ton of stallions around to test that.”

That surprised me. I thought we were really affectionate in my ‘dream’. Either he was mistaken or worse, I was disgustingly promiscuous when I drank and my friend tolerated my unwanted advances. I was too scared of what might be the truth to ask for it.

He looked down to little Ruby. “I don’t suppose you feel any different?”

“I haven’t given it any thought. But I’ve only been around you guys since this started,” my little filly replied and gave a shrug. I didn’t think she had that many boyfriends when we were growing up together either though.

Comet put a hoof to his chin and thought out loud. “This might be some classic nature vs nurture stuff. Or two natures and nurtures, I guess. Or something to do with hormones and subtle brain changes or-” The Professor stopped himself. Comet’s eyes fell back to me. “Actually, I didn’t even ask. Are you still attracted to human women? What about mares?”

I didn’t like such a fundamental aspect of myself being the center of discussion, but I answered for his apparent scientific curiosity.

“I’m not sure about mares but I think I still like women. But I feel a little… inept for that now.”

“You know you don’t need a penis to please a woman,” Comet needlessly reminded me. At the mention of ‘penis’ I couldn't help but steal a look at his sheath and balls sitting out in plain view before looking away immediately.

“I’m aware of that. I wasn’t that selfish as a guy.”

“I’m sure you weren’t,” Ruby butted in, “but, we’re not going to get into details about this, right?” Ruby stopped me just in case I was going to get started. “I don’t really want to hear about my mom or my friends having sex.”

“Right, we won’t,” Comet promised. “But there’s still another side to this I’m curious about now. There’s like a basis to sexuality in how we see our role in our relationships: our identity. So I’m kinda curious if you feel any different about that now too.” Comet dropped the academic tone and put on a different one.

“I promised I’d respect your gender identity and that’s still true. How should I see you? Has that grown any like your sexuality?”

Ruby turned to look up at me, curious about my answer.

“I don't know,” I answered, feeling a little dismissive to the question. Was I anything?

“That’s okay. How do you feel about they/them?” Comet suggested. I shook my head.

“No. That doesn’t sound right to me,” I explained. “I guess he/him is still fine? That’s how you know me.”

“If that’s okay I’ll still use it,” Comet said with a nod. “How does she/her sound to you though?”

“...I don’t know,” I hesitated. I knew Comet was only asking to make sure I was considering it. Nathan and his acquaintances ignored my wishes and called me that. But the disrespect I felt from them blatantly ignoring me and how they didn’t treat me human was what really made me uncomfortable.

My masculinity was a lie apparently but I didn’t feel like I was all that feminine. I started to wonder if I was still masculine or if I had ever found out what it takes to be a man. It wasn’t like I had a role model for it.

I wondered if pronouns even mattered. If it was how others saw me, I wasn’t sure if I even had a say in that. People were going to see me how they wanted anyway. Everyone was going to end up using certain words regardless, I knew what I looked like.

I looked down at my little ruby and she looked back up at me with those precious yellow-green eyes. I suppose that pronoun choice might please one person at least. One important person.

“I’m ‘Mom’, right?” I asked for her input. She smiled at that and nodded.

“Unless you want to be ‘Dad',” she teased me a little too quickly. An immediate look of terror struck her across the face. “I-I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry!”

“I know, I know. It’s okay,” I calmed her. I wasn’t anything like Dad. Except in the ways that I was.

I rubbed my tired face into her mane to soothe any fear I was upset. When I breathed in I noticed her hair smelled a bit like rain somehow. It was my new favorite smell.

For her sake, I knew what I wanted: whatever she wanted. It didn’t really matter how I felt. Conveniently, what she wanted was also what everyone would eventually be calling me anyway. I pulled away from her head and looked towards Comet.

“Yeah. Let’s try out she/her,” I finally relented. Comet nodded.

“Alright. Miss Berry Punch,” he tried out the change. It didn’t sound wrong to me, just different. That seemed like a good start. I snuck a glance down at Ruby to see how she felt about it. She had no strong reaction to it either.

There was a lull in the conversation and I desperately wanted the topic off of me.

“So, what about you then?” I asked my little gem. She looked confused. “New look, new you. Do you want to be a ‘Mr. Pinchy’?”

She made the cutest snort.

“I’m okay,” she assured me. “Thank you though.”

“If you say so. You can be my daughter then,” I told her. I lifted a leadened hoof around her and kissed her on the cheek. She nuzzled me back. She barely avoided making me a pirate with that horn of hers.

“Is there anything you want to do today?” I asked her, thinking back to what she said about her lost childhood. With how I felt I hoped she was going to suggest ‘take a nap’.

She looked over at Comet then back at me. “Comet and I were thinking if all of us unicorns put together what we can remember, maybe we could figure out how to use telekinesis?”

I nodded. That made sense. “But Minnie’s going to be gone for a while.”

“Yeah…” Ruby sighed. “When she gets back I want us to watch the second Equestria Girls movie together too; see if there’s any hints about magic working differently on Earth.”

I was surprised to hear there was a second movie. That sounded important. Or at least, interesting. I nodded in agreement.

“Hopefully that one’s even less accurate. I couldn’t play an instrument even with hands,” Comet quipped. Before I could ask what he was talking about we all heard a slithering sound coming from beyond the porch and turned to see what it was.

Carrot Top came around the side of the house wearing her straw hat and gardening apron again. Clutched in her teeth was one end of a garden hose that was getting dragged along behind her, the slithering sound. She trotted up the steps nonchalantly and dropped the end into her empty hoof-washing bucket. She seemed satisfied with that and turned to look up at her staring guests.

“Just refilling the washing station before I get back to it; you don’t want to try cleaning up with muddy hooves,” she explained.

“Do you need any help with that?” Ruby offered. Carrot seemed to think for a moment.

“I suppose you can make sure the hose stays in while I pump?”

“Oh. Okay!” Ruby said as she pulled herself out from under my leg and got up onto all fours. She did about as good of a job as I did earlier. She did her little shuffle over to Carrot to hold the hose. “Can I help more after that though?”

“Oh. Of course! We’ll walk through the whole canning process today if you want,” Carrot promised. Ruby's tail swished a bit in anticipation.

“That sounds interesting,” Comet perked up before he stood up and joined them.

“Great!” Carrot cheered. She looked away from her gathered volunteers over at me, right where she left me. “Berry? How are you feeling?”

“A little better,” I exaggerated. I drank from that bowl of disappointment one more time to appease Carrot and my slight tremor. “I’m good though. I'm going to try grabbing a nap." I rolled over onto my side to do so. "Wake me up for the movie," I said with a yawn.

If Carrot had expected any more or less from me she did a good job hiding it. They left me be, alone behind my eyelids.