Infection Control

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 1086

Professor Plaster Cast, Equestria's Chief Medical Officer, is quite worried; he has a report which suggests a disease is travelling across the nation. The truth, however, is not what he expected.

Professor Plaster Cast, Equestria's Chief Medical Officer, is quite worried; he has a report which suggests a disease is travelling across the nation.

The truth, however, is not what he expected.

Published 2020-03-21 14:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-21 14:20:02 UTC

One-Shot

Sat at his desk under the dim glow of a lightbulb at the end of its life, the stallion cast his eyes frantically over the piece of paper he held in his magical aura; occasionally, he would put the paper down so that he could wipe sweat from his brow, before taking a deep breath and taking in the contents once more.

Once he reached the end, his eyes were wider than dinner plates, his face was pale, and he would later swear blind that he felt his mane turning grey. Sliding the paper into a folder, he reached over and pressed a button on his desk.

"Yes, Professor Plaster Cast?" a mare answered.

Plaster Cast licked his dry lips and spoke, his voice tinged with fear. "Day Planner, I need you to contact Canterlot Castle and tell them that I urgently need to speak with Princess Twilight; I am going to the station to get the next train, and will hopefully arrive soon."

"Is everything all right, Professor?" Day Planner replied, a worried edge to her voice. "You don't sound like your usual cheerful self."

Ignoring the fact Day Planner wouldn't have seen him do it, Plaster Cast shook his head. "No, Day Planner, everything is not all right," he replied. "In fact... things are very, very, VERY bad. Now, I don't have time to explain – I need to go to the station – but trust me when I say that soon, everycreature will know what awaits us."

Before Day Planner could respond, he released the button on the intercom and hurried out of the room as fast as he dared, the folder with the paper in it following close behind.

***

Upon arrival at Canterlot Station, Plaster Cast was met by a pair of Royal Guards, who escorted him to the throne room where Twilight sat nervously; after bowing to her, he immediately began talking.

"Thank you for seeing me at such short notice, Princess Twilight," he said. "Now, as you know, I am Equestria's Chief Medical Officer; the health and well-being of everycreature living within our borders is one of my top responsibilities." He removed the paper from the folder. "I have here a report which suggests that a new disease known as Covid-19 is spreading across the country. It has spread to Trottingham, Manehatten, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, Ponyville... and even here, to Canterlot." He passed the report over to Twilight, who began casting her own wary glance over it.

"I don't need to tell you, Princess, that this is a public health emergency of the highest order; we must immediately begin a nationwide testing campaign, as well as isolate the infected so they don't spread it any further." He began pacing back and forth. "Furthermore, we must instruct the populace to remember and practice basic hygiene, such as washing their hooves, paws, claws, etcetera for at least twenty seconds numerous times a day.

Also, when news of this epidemic gets out, it will no doubt lead to panic buying among the populace; we should immediately restrict the sale of many hygiene products – such as sanitising gels and toilet paper – to a maximum of two per customer. Not doing that would lead to the selfish in society stockpiling products they don't really need, while the vulnerable amongst us suffer."

He stopped pacing and let out a breath. "Sorry, Princess, I didn't mean to prattle on like that, it's just that I'm worried about what this might mean for Equestria as a whole." He looked up at Twilight. "What do you propose we— wait, are you... smiling?"

Twilight nodded. "You have nothing to worry about, Plaster Cast," she said. "The situation isn't nearly as bad as you think it is."

"Princess, with the utmost of respect, I must vehemently disagree." Plaster Cast pointed at the report. "The evidence is right there in front of you; how can you simply dismiss it?"

Twilight held up a forehoof in a calming gesture. "Professor, I appreciate your concern, but this report is not what you think."

She stood up and walked over to him. "Now, I can't fault you for doing your job, Professor," she said. "After all, you were only doing what you thought was right, and I applaud you for it. However, I think you need to stop overthinking this, and maybe look at it from another angle; do that, and I guarantee that you'll see the truth."

Plaster Cast's horn lit up and he floated the report over to him. "'The Journey Of Covid-19 Across Equestria.'" he said, reading the title. "I'm sorry, Princess, but I don't know what you expect me to do here, because this is not something I can simply 'look at from another angle.' There are lives at stake here, and I'll be damned if I don't do something about it!"

Twilight sighed. "Okay, let me explain it; you are either tired and never saw it, or you were simply panicking so much. Either way, you didn't take into consideration the fact that you misread the title." Plaster Cast looked at her with a dumbfounded expression on his face, a sight which caused Twilight to let out a small giggle. "This report was written by my friend Fluttershy; she has been examining the crow population in Equestria and has been monitoring certain individuals which have been fitted with tags in order to track their travelling patterns across the land. She's keen to find out where they like to spend the most time, and maybe do something to make those areas a little more hospitable for them to stay in. Now crows, as you may know, belong to a family called Corvidae, so instead of Covid-19, the report is actually about..."

"Corvid #19." Plaster Cast sighed. "Princess, may I request that we never mention this again? I'd rather the media didn't get wind of it; they'd have a field day and I'd never hear the end of it."

"Of course; we'll keep it quiet, and pretend it never happened," Twilight replied. "Though, if I may request something of you?"

"You most certainly can." Plaster Cast smiled, and Twilight fixed him with a gaze that was equal parts stern and patient.

"Get your eyes tested."

Author's Note

The preceding story was just a random little idea I had that I wanted to do something with; the real Covid-19, however, is no laughing matter.

Stay safe, stay clean, follow government advice, and we'll get through this.