Oponi

Progress?

Celestia wasn't even sure what was happening anymore, she was pretty much going by the moment. This development was good... okay maybe it wasn't good per se but it at least gave her a reprieve from the constant craziness that had been assaulting her for the last few hours.

Just a few hours, it sounded very odd when she thought of it like that. In a few hours she had come face-to-face with demons, seen the town of Ponyville enveloped in the third evil to attack the town this year, watched Waka get turned into a statue, and possibly discovered that Amaterasu may be violently schizophrenic. She wanted to visit Luna in her infirmary room before going to bed but she just couldn't find the energy, she was probably fine, otherwise she would have found the castle in an uproar.

"Are we in agreement?"

Fourteen voices gave a quick. "Hm!"

"Good, let us not make a mockery of ourselves, Yumigami, Kabegami, we are trusting you."

"We're trusting Yumigami at least." Squeaked a tiny voice.

"Don't say something so confrontational, Tachigami, I may just mistake you for a meal." Purred the feline voice.

Celestia awoke with a pleasant yawn. She was glad for the chance to sleep, even if pressing matters would need to be dealt with that day.

She had quickly teleported into the throne room. Instead of finding breakfast, she found a quite different scene.

Her guards appeared to be sticking to the walls.

"P-Princess!" Stammered one of the soldiers trying to detach himself from the overly affectionate wall. "N-n-nothing to worry about! Just some problems..."

"With the walls I'm guessing?"

"Um...yes." He stated dumbly.

Celestia could already think of someone to blame... but Waka wasn't here so it was probably Amaterasu instead.

"Hello princess." Spoke a voice above her. Celestia turned and nearly had her heart stop from the large pair of eyes staring at her from a few inches away. It was a gigantic cat, at least as large as Amaterasu, and it was sitting on the wall.

Not climbing, not scaling, sitting, perfectly relaxed.

"You're guards are a rude bunch, they wouldn't allow me breakfast." It moaned as it licked at it's paw. It's fur was the same snow white as Amaterasu's.

"Are you one of Amaterasu's... guests?" She really didn't know the correct term for this situation.

"I'm Kabegami, goddess of walls, a pleasure." She gave a quick nod to Celestia before adjusting her perch on the wall.

"Why did you think it was necessary to glue my guards to the walls?" It took a lot of effort to ask that question with a straight face.

"They aren't glued, how barbaric. They can move just as freely as me, they're just doing it wrong. Watch." She hopped off of the wall, landing on the floor and quickly made her way towards one of the guards trying to reach the floor. She headbutted his hindquarters, launching him a few feet in the air. Instead of falling, the soldier fell sideways, right back onto the wall. Although he looked nervous from his new position, he slowly moved his hooves, placing them underneath himself and slowly getting up. He glanced around and, noticing that he was now standing on the perfectly vertical wall, did a small trot in a circle on the wall. The other guards saw his actions and stopped trying to reach the floor, instead drawing themselves up on the wall.

It didn't take long for the entire guard to begin walking around the rooms foundations, exploring the room like foals.

Celestia just stared, it was difficult to process the emotion for the situation. On one hand, they were unharmed and looked completely hilarious. On the other hand, they didn't appear to have a way to actually get down, which was worrisome.

"They'll be fine~." Purred Kabegami, sitting on one of the guard's saddles, taking a free ride around the room. "I'll make sure to get them all down eventually~."

"If you are one of Amaterasu's... acquaintances, are you all here?" Celestia had needed to fly to continue their conversation, the guard Kabegami was riding didn't seem to even be aware he had a passenger.

"No, it's just me and Yumigami." She responded lazily, swatting at the guard's plume that rose from his helmet.

"Where is Yumigami then?"

The cat let out a small chuckle. "You tell me, Amaterasu seems to like you, who might the moon goddess like?"

That wasn't a riddle so much as it was a waste of time, Celestia warped herself to the hospital wing, hopefully she wouldn't find a similar situation here. Although having the moon goddess stick Luna to the moon might be just as mentally scarring as it would be ironic.

Luckily, she arrived at the regular boring castle hospital, the staff moving quickly when they needed to, which was rare, and the faint smell of disinfectant in the air.

*Whack!*

Celestia heard a faint whack in the direction of Luna's room, she turned to follow it.

*Whack!*

It was louder now, it sounded like someone was slapping a pillow very hard.

*Whack!*

Celestia was just glad it wasn't the sound of bones breaking, as long as it wasn't that she was ready for whatever she saw in that room. She opened the door and quickly stepped inside.

Where she found Luna laying in her bed, molding what looked like green clay for a few seconds before a rabbit, currently sitting on her head, smacked the lump with a gigantic hammer it was somehow lifting. After the strike, Luna kneaded the dough-like substance once-more.

Brain: action?: /Inquiry/perceive

Invalid action: cannot perceive: rebooting brain...

... reboot failed

"Lu...na..." She honestly wasn't quite sure what this situation was, the guards on the walls was at least describable,  it was guards on walls. This just had too many factors to pin-down.

"Oh sister! We're so glad to see you! You should really try this, we find it to be very relaxing and fun." Luna gave her greeting without missing a beat in the kneading, drawing her hooves back right before the large mallet came down.

"Luna, I'll be direct with you, what is this?"

Luna broke a large piece of the green clay off and tossed it in her mouth before chewing. "Esh moshe... eh tashe rehl guhd!"

"Swallow, Luna."

"It's mochi sister, it's like candy."

The rabbit was staring daggers at Luna but held it's tongue, it went back to smacking the hammer down on the lump of not-quite-ready mochi.

"And who is your guest, if I may ask?"

The rabbit didn't respond, it continued to pound.

"Excuse me?"

"Wait until we are done sister, then we can talk."

The odd spectacle continued for about fifteen minutes before the rabbit let out a sigh and hopped off of Luna's head and down onto her bed. It set it's large mallet to the side, likely for further use, and finally turned to address Celestia. "I am Yumigami, goddess of the moon. You are Celestia, and this, your sister Luna."

That wasn't even a question.

"That is correct."

A fact that she would keep to herself while that mallet, and this rabbit's apparent temper, was present.

"Of course it's correct, how would I forget my own name?"

These were questions better left unanswered. "I have met with Kabegami already; tell me, why are you here?"

"We're here to test-out our mortal bodies and tell the others of any changes or facts about bodies that we may have forgotten."

"Where is Amaterasu?"

She was surprised to see the rabbit's lips form into a sort of half frown, half snarl, and not just because of the physical impossibility of it. "I have no idea where she is, your guess is as good as mine."

"How long have you been here?"

"I've been 'here' for the last hour or so. I expect to stay until sundown."

"That would be fine, so long as there isn't any trouble."

Yumigami hopped back onto Luna's head, using her horn to steady herself before finding a comfortable position to lay in. "There won't be, now please go, you must be quiet in a hospital."

Celestia couldn't help but take a quick glance at the large mallet to see the absurdity of that statement. Not wanting to start a conflict that didn't need to be started, she exited the room and closed the door behind her.

"Princess!" It was Shining Armor, he had a bandage around his horn but otherwise looked normal. "I didn't know you were back from whatever it was had you in a rush. If I may ask, what was the issue?"

There wasn't any harm in letting Shining know, his involvement would be basically guaranteed if a battle was going to occur soon. "There was a problem in Ponyville, nobody was harmed but they could be considered captives."

"Captives! Is... are the elements alright?"

"They're fine, relatively speaking. They aren't in any danger so you don't have to worry."

"I guess that isn't... quite as bad." He agreed. "So who is the enemy? Gryphons? Diamond Dogs?"

Celestia just let a sigh escape. "Let's gather all the commanders, this will be difficult enough to explain once."

"Outrageous!"

"Preposterous!"

"Ambiguous!"

The military commanders were currently exercising their greatest skill, the ability to grind all military planning to a halt. It had been difficult enough to convince them that demons had taken one of the towns, convincing them that one of their best bets was to rely on a small wolf and effeminate man in a pink robe... that was a different matter.

"Audacious!"

"Dangerous!"

"Cantankerous!"

Unlike the gods that she had been meeting with today, these were some state blowhards that she could handle.

"Marvelous." She uttered the one word and waited.

"Ambitious!" Shouted one general.

"Infectious!" Yelled another.

"Fabulous!"

"Joyous." She prodded again.

"Momentous!"

"Magnanimous!"

"Righteous!"

"Are we all in agreement then?" She asked.

"Wondrous!"

"That's what I thought, dismissed."

The generals proudly marched out of the room, leaving Shining Armor sitting in his seat, smacking a hoof to his head. "Must. Remove. The stupid. Peeling at my brain."

"They may be a little simple, but they know how to keep morale up." She offered from her own seat across the table.

"Why can't we have an officer that actually knows how to lead a battle and knows how to use a tie that isn't clip-on?"

"Because we already have you for that." She said with a smirk. "You tend to be competitive, Shining."

He shrinked a little from the praise. "Oh, right."

She rose from her seat. "Come, we have to start planning to rescue the elements and Waka."

"Waka has been captured?" Asked Shining with a raised brow.

"Yes, I thought I told you."

He zipped away. "I'll be back tonight! I'm taking Cadence on the town tonight!" He trotted out of sight, whistling to himself.

Celestia was sure of it now, Waka and Amaterasu's presence must release some hormone that makes ponies do stupid things.