Stargem

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Spike all considered what to do next. However, thinking straight was a little difficult, with all of the guns pointed at them.

Pinkie was the first to speak. "Hello everyone!" Pinkie shouted, tentatively waving her hoof in the air. "We are not here to punch you, kick you, bite you, slap you, make you cry, scream so loud your ears bleed--"

Rainbow scanned the room as Pinkie went down her list. The people on the outskirts of the room were all in the same black uniforms and carried similar guns. But there were four humans at the foot of the ramp who were different than the rest. They wore green camouflage uniforms with black vests and lots of equipment. Two of them held sizeable guns, while one held a rather small one. The fourth held a staff-thingy that faintly glowed at its tip.

"--burn you on a stake, pelt you with rocks, tar and feather you--gwolmph!" Rainbow had chosen that time for Pinkie to stop talking.

"Hi, uh, everyone," the Pegasus said, making a motion with her head for Spike to come out of hiding. "I'm Rainbow Dash, this here is Pinkie Pie, and the little dragon over there is Spike. As Pinkie was trying to say, we come in peace."

Barely audible whispers floated around the edge of the room. One of the four people in front of the ramp spoke.

"Are you sure you come in peace?" it said, waving its gun at Pinkie. "Pinkie there sure had some crazy ways to kills us."

"She's, uh, too trusting for her own good," Rainbow replied nervously, eyeing the gun.

The human who had spoken replied with a silent ah before it spoke rather loudly to the window at the back of the room Rainbow hadn't noticed. "General, these... Technicolor horses say they are nice."

A hairless human in the window leaned down to a stick with a bulb on its end, making its words come through to this room. "They can say a lot of things. I want them in a holding cell until we can get this all sorted out."

Rainbow and Spike felt fear rush through them, not wanting to be trapped in a cell, the struggled when some more black-clad humans came in to restrain them, but ultimately failed.

Pinkie, on the other hand, wasn't the least bit concerned.

"That is a reasonable request!" she said, stretching her forehooves in front of her. "Take me away, boys!"

The humans coming to take her shared some confused glances before picking Pinkie up in a manner similar to that of her friends.

They were all put inside a small room with a bed and a table. As soon as she was free from the human's grasp, Rainbow flew towards the door, which slammed shut in her face. "DANG IT!" Rainbow said, kicking the door. She regretted it instantly, massaging her throbbing hoof.

"So," Spike said to the ponies. "What're we going to do?"

"ESCAPE!" Rainbow shouted as she flew over to the table. She attempted to pick it up, but it was too awkward, and she didn't exactly have Applejack's monster strength.

"I say we figure out what's wrong with ol' Rocky over here!" Pinkie said, sticking a hoof into her mane and pulling out the white stone that had gotten them into this mess.

"You... named it?" Spike asked with a confused look on his face.

"Why, of course I named it! It probably wasn't working earlier because it felt sad that it had no name!" Pinkie stroked the rock like it was a cat.

"Well, if you think the name's going to make it work better, why don't we use it to get out of this cell?!" Rainbow shouted.

"Alrighty then!" Pinkie said. She cupped the rock in her hooves and stated, "Take us to Equestria!"

Nothing happened.

"Please take us to Equestria!" Again, nothing. No glowing or humming or anything. It was like the rock was sleeping.

"So, now what?" Spike asked glumly.

"You could answer our questions and get out of her quicker," someone new said. Everyone turned to the door to see a human at the door, slowly closing it. Once the human turned around, Rainbow recognized it as one of the people in front with a big gun, and not the one that spoke earlier.

"So, let me see if I have your names right," they continued. "Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike?"

The group nodded.

"Alright then, if you could all come to the table, we can start."

Pinkie bounced up to the table and, upon seeing that Spike couldn't see over it, dung into her mane to get him a stepstool. The human looked slightly alarmed that Pinkie could do that, but was snapped back into focus when Rainbow floated up and asked, "What's your name?"

"I'm Samantha Carter," the human replied. "I work here as a theoretical astrophysicist, and as a member of SG-1."

"What's SG-1?" Rainbow asked, now less suspicious and more confused.

"I'll get to that later. I'm supposed to be asking you the questions." Samantha said, though she wasn't angry.

"Before we begin, what should I call you?" Pinkie asked with an encouraging nod from Spike. "Should I call you Samantha? Or Carter? Or Samantha Carter? Or Carter, Samantha? Or--"

"Sam is fine," the human said, hastily trying to prevent Pinkie from going on a rant. "Now on to interrogating you. Where do you come from?"

The ponies and dragon looked at each other, seeing who would be the first to speak. "Equestria," Rainbow finally said.

"Okay," Sam said, writing on a clipboard she had brought in. "What is the state of... Equestria?"

"What do you mean?" Rainbow asked, still trying not to drop the suspicious act.

"Is your home in a state of war or peace?"

"It's pretty peaceful overall."

"Alright. Who is in charge of your homeland? Do you have a monarchy or a democracy?"

"Umm, monarchy. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna rule as equals."

Sam made a funny face as she scribbled more in her clipboard. "Do either of these princesses have the tendency to do evil acts, glowing eyes, access to technology that no one else can use, a strange voice, or don't seem like their normal self?"

"No. Princess Luna was like that once, but we were able to help her become good again."

"Was there a snake-like creature in her head?"

"WHAT?!" Rainbow shouted, flying a good yard or two away from Sam. Pinkie blanched, and Spike looked ready to hurl.

Sam tried to get the conversation back on track. "There's an alien race called the Goa'uld that look like snakes. They nest themselves into the brains of innocent creatures and take over their thoughts and actions. I was just making sure that there weren't any in your home--"

"Of COURSE there aren't any at home! We're too awesome for them to take over!" Rainbow said, switching from fear to pride in a second, although she was still a little upset about the brain-snake thingies. "My friends and I have stopped over a dozen of villains from taking over Equestria. We wouldn't let some snake slip through our grasp!"

"Okay then," Sam said, glad to have everything mostly under control again. "How did you get here?"

"Ooh! I wanna answer this one!" Pinkie said, waving her hoof in the air like an impatient student. "So we were called by the princesses we were just telling you about to help them--no, wait, we were helping Star Swirl who's this really powerful magician and he said that one of his students had made a Multiverse Navigator and we were looking for it and--GAAAAAAAASSSP--when we found it we accidentally went to Sugarcube Corner which is definitely in Equestria and so to prove that it still worked we teleported far away to here and when we couldn't get back using the Navigator we decided to try to become friends with you all and you know the rest!"

Sam was a little dazed at how quickly Pinkie could talk. She tried to jot everything down, but she gave up and asked, "In summary?"

"We have a broken teleportation device." Spike said.

"Aha. I might be able to help you with that."

"Really?" Rainbow asked, floating once again back to Sam. "You could do that?"

"I'm not completely sure, but if you are cleared for release after I turn this report in, I will certainly try." Sam walked over to the door. "I'll be back in a couple of hours with the results."

The door to the cell closed. Now the waiting game began.

"Okay. Tell me how this 'Multiverse Navigator' thing works."

Sam, Pinkie, Rainbow and Spike were all in Sam's laboratory, surrounding a central table. The stone--or Rocky, as Pinkie had begun calling it--rested on that table.

"Well, we're not really sure how it works," Rainbow said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "We do know that you have to tell it where you're going or describe where you want to go, and then there's this really big flash of light that takes you to that place."

"It's a start," Sam said, half to herself. "I'm going to do some readings and figure some out some things about it. You guys can stay, or I can call someone to accompany you, if you want to explore a little."

"Yes! I wanna see this place!" Rainbow pumped a forehoof in the air. Pinkie giggled in agreement, bouncing a little faster.

"What about you, Spike?" Sam asked the little dragon that was sitting on the table.

"I think I'll stay with you." he said. "I can help you take notes, if you want. I'm a really speedy writer."

"That would be perfect," Sam smiled, handing Spike a notebook and pen. She then looked to the ponies. "You two stay here until someone comes."

Teal'c was the one to answer Sam's call. She was a little surprised that he came, of all the people on the base, but Teal'c insisted that he didn't mind watching the ponies.

"So... Teal'c, is it?" Rainbow asked the man, floating at eye level to him. "You seem different than the rest of the people here. For one: what's with the golden design on your forehead?"

"The mark displays my rank and loyalty in the Jaffa Nation. I was once First Prime to Apophis, a false god that I have come to see as nothing but a Goa'uld."

"Man, what's with all the brain-snakes?" Rainbow grumbled.

"What's a Jaffa?" Pinkie said, bouncing all the while. "It sure is a fun word to say! Jaffa! Jaffa! JAFFA! Hee-hee!"

Teal'c looked at Rainbow Dash with a raised eyebrow. The Pegasus shook her head. "Don't question. Just answer."

"A Jaffa is a warrior loyal to one of the false gods."

"Oh. Gotcha!" Pinkie bounced ahead and peeked into a room they were nearing. "Anybody--hey! Someone's home!" A shout of surprise came from the human occupying the room.

Teal'c smiled, though he tried to make it unnoticeable. He failed, as Rainbow saw it and asked, "Do you know who's in there?"

"That is Dr. Jackson's office," Teal'c said, now standing by the doorway. He entered, saying, "Apologies, Dr. Jackson. This one--Pinkie Pie--is beyond my control."

"Um, it's fine, just a little... startling, is all," the doctor stammered. He was on the floor picking up papers that he most likely dropped in his surprise. Pinkie had bounced over and was helping him.

"So, if you're a doctor, why are you in a room full of books and not a hospital?" Pinkie asked, somehow still understandable with a mouth full of paper.

"I'm not a medical doctor," he said. "I have a Ph. D. in archaeology."

"Isn't that basically history?" Rainbow asked, looking at the books on the shelves without much interest.

"Well, kind of, but there's a bit more to it--"

"BOOOO-RIIING," Rainbow replied. "Let's go somewhere fun!"

"But I've barely got to meet Dr. Jackson!" Pinkie said. "Sure, a surprise does wonders for a budding friendship, but there's still a lot to do!" The Earthpony turned from her friend to the doctor, who looked a little hurt from Rainbow's comment. "What can I call you?"

"Um, Daniel?" Dr. Jackson stammered.

"Alrighty, then! It's good to meet you, Daniel!" Pinkie said, grabbing one of Daniel's hands and shaking it vigorously.

Rainbow turned to Teal'c. "You guys have guns, right? So you should have a shooting range, or something?"

Teal'c nodded. "Would you prefer that we go there now?"

"Yes!"

Teal'c, now smiling almost imperceptibly again, turned to Daniel. "Would you mind if I left Pinkie Pie in your care?"

"Actually, I was doing something and--"

Teal'c was already gone.

"Hey, Carter," a human said as they walked into Sam's lab. Spike looked up from the notes he was writing, seeing that it was the human who had spoken to him and his friends on the ramp.

"Hi, Jack," Sam said, turning to Spike. "That's Jack O'Neill. He's in charge of SG-1."

"Does he know what 'SG' stands for?" Jack asked, still not quite sure about the dragon. He looked like a Puff, but who knows, he could have been a Smaug.

"It stands for Stargate, which is the big wormhole-making ring my friends and I appeared by." Spike replied.

"So Sam has been explaining things," Jack said, nodding. He turned to his fellow human. "How goes the science-y stuff?"

"I've learned a whole lot about the M.N. between my readings and Spike's help." Sam began. "I was picking up a strange energy signature, and Spike said that it was probably magic. And while magic doesn't exist, it certainly would explain how my equipment is having problems identifying it."

"Cool." Jack acted as if he knew what was going on, but he knew Sam knew better than to believe him. "Anything else?"

"Yes, actually," Sam continued, looking through some of the notes Spike had written. "The M.N.--"

"The what?"

"The Multiverse Navigator."

"Aha." Jack said. "Please, continue."

"The M.N. has been slowly building up energy. By my calculations, we only have about twenty hours until it reaches critical energy output."

"Which means...?"

"When it becomes critical, it will either explode or teleport whoever gets caught in its energy output."

"Gotcha." Jack said. He then looked at Spike, who had simply been watching the whole conversation. "So, Spot--"

"My name is Spike."

"Right. Spike. Got it. So, is the M&M--"

"M.N."

"Okay, M.N. supposed to do that?"

"Nope," Spike said. "You should be able to control when and where you teleport to."

"Based on what Spike has told me, I think this is a prototype." Sam added. "It worked, but it was unstable and uncontrollable."

"What're we going to do with it once it goes boom?" Jack asked.

"Well, it might not explode, but we've decided to place it in a secure room, since the energy output doesn't span more than a few meters. Spike had volunteered to see if it teleports or not, and he says his friends would do the same."

"You sure about that?" Jack turned to the dragon. "You could get crispy-fried."

"It's a risk I'll take if it means that I can get back home." Spike said, although he didn't look to sure of himself.

"Alrighty then. I'll tell the General--"

"Already done," Sam said.

"Okay, then I'll go get lunch. Either of you want to come?"

"I think I'll stay and keep an eye on the rock. You can go if you want, Spike." Sam looked at the dragon, who had looked torn between leaving and staying. Now that he had the blessing to go, Spike clumsily floated off the table with his wings and took a spot beside Jack.

"Do you guys have potato chips?" Spike asked Jack, having already asked Sam if humans ate gems.

"Of course we have potato chips."

The mess hall was out of potato chips, as well as soda, and cake, and the Jell-O was running dangerously low.

"Who could eat that much..." Jack wondered aloud. He saw Spike shaking his head and looked where the dragon had previously been staring.

The pink pony that had accompanied Spike--her name was... ah, forget it--was sitting at a table that had been covered in dirty dishes and empty soda cans. The pony was currently spooning red Jell-O into her mouth at an incredible pace. Next to her sat what appeared to be Daniel, but between the stacks of dishes in Jack's line of sight and the fact that whoever was sitting there had their head in their arms, Jack wasn't sure.

"Uh, Pinkie?" Spike asked, having left Jack's side and going to the table. "You think you could... maybe, stop eating?"

"Nu-uh!" Pinkie said before she took the last bite of Jell-O and licked the glass clean. "Another one, please!'

"Sorry... Pinkie, is it?" Jack said as he came up to the table. He had turned to Spike to confirm the name, who nodded. "Pinkie, I'm cutting you off. No more food."

Pinkie's mane deflated. "Oh," she said, making Jack feel instantly guilty about stopping her. But almost as soon as Pinkie had become sad, she brightened up again. "Hey, Daniel, wanna go back to your office and look through your history books?"

A muffled sound came from Daniel, having not removed his head from his arms. Jack could tell that it was a big, hearty no.

"Well, Pinkie, I wanted to talk to you about something," Jack said, grabbing the pony's attention. "Spike here said that you would volunteer to be with a rock that could potentially explode if it meant that you could go home again. Is this true?"

"Well, I'd be sad to leave you all behind, but I would. Equestria is my home." Pinkie was smiling, yet oddly serious. Jack felt uncomfortable with all of the changes in her mood.

"Now all we've got to do is get Rainbow on board," Spike said, turning to Pinkie. "Do you know where she is?"

SHOOOOOWOP! SHOOOOOWOP!

Rainbow and Teal'c were in the firing range. The Pegasus was learning how to use a staff weapon, which was a long staff that shoots laser beams. Rainbow had just fired on a target, which now had a gaping, smoking hole in its center.

"WOO-HOO!" Rainbow shouted, pumping a hoof in the air after handing Teal'c the weapon. "That was awesome!"

"Sure was," Jack, Spike, and Pinkie all walked into the range. Rainbow removed the goggles she had been wearing and flew over to the group.

"So, you must be Jack," Rainbow said, outstretching a hoof. "Teal'c's told me about you. I'm Rainbow Dash."

"It's good to meet you," Jack said, awkwardly taking Rainbow's hoof and shaking it. "We've got some stuff to discuss with you."

It was now thirty minutes until the M.N. would go critical. It was in a secure room with a one-way mirror overlooking it, so the results of the energy output could be observed discretely. The ponies and dragon were preparing to enter the room.

"I made these suits for you," Sam said, handing the group three outfits. "They're not the best, having been thrown together in eighteen hours, but they should protect you from the explosion that could happen."

"Thanks!" Spike said. He really hadn't wanted to be in an explosion.

The three Equestrians put their suits on. Between figuring out how to put them on and getting everything to fit together right, by the time they entered the room with the M.N., there was only ten minutes until it would go critical.

The M.N. glowed brightly, most of it pulsating from its golden center. Spike was nervous, but Rainbow and Pinkie wouldn't let him stay that way.

"There's nothing to fear anymore, now that we have these awesome suits!" Rainbow said, patting the dragon's back.

"Yeah! Soon, we'll either be in Equestria, or still here, or maybe somewhere else entirely!" Pinkie said cheerfully, although the speech did little to help Spike.

Five minutes to critical.

"When the M.N. reaches critical, you'll want to brace yourselves," Sam's voice cam from the intercom. "The energy blast might have some force behind it."

Three minutes.

"You guys ready?" Rainbow asked.

"YEAH!" Pinkie bounced super high as she said this.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Spike said. Rainbow gave him a reassuring nod.

One minute.

The glow from the stone now stretched further and further into the air, until it released its familiar white light and swallowed the group.

Rainbow opened her eyes. She wasn't in a hospital. She wasn't in the M.N. room.

She wasn't in Equestria, either.

Rainbow took the helmet off of her protective suit. Pinkie and Spike did the same.

"Either we went to another universe, or the afterlife looks a lot like Californeigha." Spike said.

The ocean was right behind the group, the palm trees lining where the sand met the grass giving shade. The road they were standing on was being mobbed by people holding out little rectangular flashing gadgets.

"Hey, we're being photographed!" Pinkie cheered, pulling her friends close. "Smile!"

A siren then came into earshot, followed by what looked to be an automatic police car approaching the Equestrians.

"Uh-oh," Spike whispered.