"They will never see home," Princess Celestia whispered to herself. "They will never again know a time of peace. Never again see the faces of their families. Never again know what it is like to know good, happy lives." Her frown deepened, and she turned away from whatever ponies might have been there to see the tear that fell down the side of it. "This war...is the last thing any of them will have ever known." She had been talking to nopony in particular, and perhaps not even herself, but when she finally turned to look upon them, there was nothing but shame and loss in her heart. The fighting, by some mercy, had ceased for the time being. Sombra was no longer pushing them right now, but neither did Equestria themselves have the strength to capitalise on that and strike. It was a quiet, and in that quiet the Princess looked upon those who had fought beside her, and upon those who she did not recognise but that she knew had also been fighting their hardest. But they did not salute her, nor smile to her presence. They did not do anything in fact, except lie there. A dozen, maybe more, lying under white sheets, completely covered from view, all upon the floor in the tent she'd entered. Ponies who would open their eyes no longer. Slowly, the Princess hung her head. "How...how many?"
One of the mares nearby, a nurse, looked over to her. "It's been a long day, Princess. You needn't trouble yourself."
But Celestia shook her head. "How...many?" she repeated.
After a long pause, the nurse sighed, removing her surgical mask and glancing over the unmoving bodies. "Maybe a hundred. At least this week anyway."
Celestia looked like she wanted to just buckle down right then and there, to collapse upon her knees and weep. But she did not. She was the Princess, the leader, the icon. She had to be strong, for the nurse, for her soldiers, for all of them. She could not show how distraught she was, or how unhappy, or how utterly devastated she was, even though all knew deep down that was how she felt. Instead, she just stood there, motionless, whispering under her breath. "A hundred...that's too many." She frowned. "Fifty would be too many...ten would be too many...and even one would be too many." As before, she shook her head. "These ponies...should not have been here. None of this should have happened. Nopony should have ever known this...this horror."
"Maybe not...but we do know it."
The second voice caught the Princess off-guard, but only for a moment, and after looking to the bodies for a while she finally turned. There, standing in the entrance to the tent, was a cyan mare with a bright rainbow-colored mane. But while that might have been her most distinct quality in peacetime, what drew the eye today was the prosthetic wing she now bore, made from cold steel. She saluted the Princess, just like so many others, and after Celestia gave a small nod to her arrival, she broke the silence. "Rainbow Dash, yes? I hear congratulations are in order. You were promoted recently, as I recall."
Another short nod from the young Captain, who promptly gave her another salute. "Yes, Ma'am."
Celestia looked away again. "You have something to report, soldier?"
Taking a few steps inside the tend, Rainbow explained her presence here. "Words is that Sombra's forces are maintaining their position at the last recorded border between us. They're dug in deep, but it doesn't look like they'll be making a move anytime soon."
Celestia considered that. "And our forces?"
Rainbow sighed. "They're willing to go, if you command them. But we're pretty short-staffed right now. The new recruits and reinforcements won't be here for some time now. Really...a defensive posture is all we can do at the moment."
Celestia's eyes narrowed. "He can't do anything and neither can we...I guess it's as close to peace as we can have right now."
Rainbow walked alongside her, and for a time the only thing the mares did was stare at the covered pones before them, until the trooper finally spoke up. "Peace. Hard to know what that felt like."
Celestia looked down to her. "Tell me, Captain Dash, what was your life like before all this madness?"
Rainbow glanced away from her. "I was a weather-mare, over in a quiet little place called Ponyville."
The Princess thought on that. "Ponyville...I believe one of your squad hails from that place also?"
Rainbow nodded to confirm. "Pinkie Pie, Ma'am. Yes. She worked for the local bakers. When the fighting broke out she was with them to start with, helping to make supplies for the front. But when she made her first delivery here..." She grimaced, as if remembering that time was the most difficult thing she could do. "Well...I guess she just couldn't leave things as they were, so she enlisted." She gave a shrug. "Whatever plans she had for her life, she's a soldier now. Her sisters followed, and I swear I've never seen earth ponies as strong as them."
Had Celestia smiled in that moment, it would have been one of respect rather than joy. "Their talents have proved invaluable in this fight, and we're glad to have them." Then, her mood soured, as it had done so many times before. "And you, Captain. What life did you wish to lead?"
Rainbow looked to her. "You mean before?" Seeing her Princess nod to her, Rainbow took a deep breath. "Me...I was always trying to improve my flying back then. Trying to go faster, better, more impressive. Always hoped I'd get to join the Wonderbolts one day. Be an inspiration to the kids, you know?"
Celestia glanced behind her, looking though the tent's entrance to the area outside. "Well...I realise things might not have been how you wanted, but you do get to fly with them now."
Rainbow sighed to that. "I know. I just...wish it would have been back when things were...good."
Whatever good mood might have been cultivated with their earlier exchange, those words put an end to it. Celestia looked away from her again, ashamed even, towards the bodies. How long could she look at them? She didn't know. And right now, she couldn't care. All she knew was that this world, this place, this fight, was something she never wanted her people to go through. Yet here they were, going through it. She was their leader, their ruler, yet her time in that position now led to this catastrophe. Slowly, her eyes shut tightly. "I'm...sorry."
Rainbow looked up to her, confused. "Ma'am?"
Celestia shook her head. "I'm sorry, my little pony. But I...failed."
Rainbow frowned. "You haven't. Equestria still has fight in it yet. We can win this, and Sombra can be back down in the ground, where he belongs."
Again, Celestia shook her head. "Those under the covers...did you know any of them?"
Hesitantly, Rainbow once more looked to the figures on the ground. "Some. A few I flew with back in Ponyville. Other weather pegasi. We weren't friends, but we got on well enough. The others...I think I saw them once or twice, but nothing beyond that."
A solemn nod from Celestia. "They shouldn't be here. None of you should be. You should be in your homes. You should be with your families, your friends, your ordinary lives. Not here, not fighting and dying and struggling for each moment."
Rainbow's frown returned. "This isn't your fault, Princess. You didn't start this war." With barely-contained fury, the Captain turned, looking out of the tent to the scorched landscape around them. "Sombra's to blame! He enslaved the Empire, made them fight us! He lives for war, for violence. It's because of him, not you, that these ponies are lying there."
Celestia did not turn to look at her, but spoke all the same. "How long have you been a leader, Captain?"
Rainbow looked back to her. "I used to head up the weather teams back home before all this. But if you mean leading ponies in a fight...just a short while."
"Then the weight hasn't set in for you yet," Celestia remarked. "One day, you'll feel it. The responsibility. The near-choking feel of knowing that others' lives are in your hooves. And if one falls, you will be wracked with doubt." She sighed. "Could this have been avoided if you'd done things differently? If you'd made greater preparations? If you'd spent your days focusing on the possibility of something terrible...instead of hoping the good days would never end." A lump formed in her throat. "Serve as a leader long enough...and a day may come when you no longer see it as anypony else's fault that bad things come to those who serve you. You will..." she winced. "You will see yourself as the one who failed, the one who erred, the one...who didn't do all she could to help those who needed her most." Her head hung in shame. "Just...as I do."
To say that Rainbow was taken aback would have been an understatement. After all, this was Princess Celestia. A pony that all in the nation looked up to and admired. Faultless, steadfast, respectable. Hearing her talk about herself like this was the last thing the Captain had been expecting. Yet here she was, thinking of herself as an utter failure. A confession in the dark. Rainbow didn't know what to think, or if she was even the appropriate pony the Princess should be talking to. All she knew was that the Princess did indeed need somepony to talk to, so she decided then and there to just talk. "Princess...Celestia...pardon me for saying so...but there's no reason for you to think of yourself like this." Seeing her monarch look to her, she continued. "Could things have been done different? Maybe. But you'd done as well as anypony could have hoped for. Our nation hasn't fallen, Sombra hasn't won, and even after all this time, all this fighting, Equestria still has hope that we can win." A smile came to her. "Were you a lesser leader...that would never have been the case."
Celestia's expression faltered. "But..."
Rainbow raised her hoof. "No buts! Nopony is going to blame you for having doubts about the things you've done and seen. Heck, if you didn't think twice about everything, we'd probably just think you were crazy or something. But you shouldn't think that all this is just your responsibility alone." She took a single step forward, placing her hoof upon Celestia's side. "We're in this together. You, me, the other soldiers, the ponies back home making us supplies, the nurses who stay here at the front to help the wounded. It's not all just you, so there's no need for you to think all this badness is your fault."
Celestia didn't know if she was right or not, she only knew the questions that continued to plague her. "But...how many?" She turned to face to fallen once more. "How many more need to fall on my watch before this nightmare ends?"
Rainbow too looked to them, her face an unhappy one. "I...can't answer that." Then her resolve strengthened, as shown in her expression. "But the one thing I do know is that if we give up, if we look around and say to ourselves that all is lost...then that's the moment that all truly is lost. And these..." She gestured to the bodies. "...They'll have died for nothing if we give up. They gave their lives so that we who are still here have a better chance of coming out with a win. We keep going, for them, for those at home, and for everything we ever lost or could have had."
Silence came to the tent, and the nurse from before had long since departed. Celestia, hearing all that from one she never expected to hear it from, took a deep breath. Then, for the first time in who knew how long, she smiled, giving a small nod to her young Captain. "Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I guess...even one known for wisdom needs a few words of encouragement every now and again."
Smiling back, Rainbow gave her a salute. "Ma'am...I was happy to help."
Author's Note
A long time ago, I think I must have been about ten at the time, I heard a story about a commanding officer during WW1. And in that story he wrote about how he didn't realise just how much was going on around him until there was a moment where he had time to stop and breathe, and finally saw just how many bodies had been taken away from the field. So bad was the situation that he'd become numb to the deaths as they were happening, and when he finally noticed them it hit him like a tonne of bricks 😔
