My Little Interstate: Justice is Magic

As the two cars rolled along the Utah highway on that warm summer day, Snips and Snails began to make the trip unbearable. as they overused their C/B radio.

“THIS IS SO COOL! Over.”

“We’re V8 VIGILANTES! Over.”

“Hey, Spike! Do we get to have CODE NAMES for the radio, come on back?”

Spike shrugged, not seeing the harm in it. “Sure, why not? Over.”

“Okay,” Snips giggled, “I’ll be...um....Er...”

Spike facehoofed. I still wonder how they became cops. “Look, I’ll give you an example of a handle. My name on the radio is, “Flame”. Now, you two try, over.”

“O-Okay,” Snails stuttered, “I-I’ll be....OH, I KNOW! FIRE EXTINGUISHER! ‘Cause, you’re....Flame....Eheh....Over.”

“No,” Spike laughed, “That’s just stupid. How about, you two are Cuffs and Keys?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Snips agreed, “By the way, where are we, over?”

“According to the map, we’re about 5 miles South of Dodge Junction. That car’s probably gonna stop there to refuel, it’s the only gas stop until Wendover, and I’m pretty sure a sedan from the ‘60’s can’t make it through the desert on one tank, over.”

As they drove along, 30 miles ahead, over the border, Rarity awoke in the trunk. It was cramped, she had duct tape on her mouth, she was tied up, it was dark, and, as she expected, the tire iron was brushing against her tail, covering it with automotive grease. She tried to use her magic to bust open the trunk, but the bruisers had duct taped her horn as well.

“Homphw doph ‘dat ephn’ wphrk...?” she muttered to herself, “It Brphks all knwn lphws of mphgc....”

“WAIT!” Dutch snapped, “RAY, did you hear that thump in the back?!”

“What thump, Dutch...?”

“THE MARE, SHE’S AWAKE!”

“So?”

“Ray,” he fretted, “If she sees us talking with the boss’s men, she’ll figure out something’s going on!”

“HELLO? Earth to Dutch?” Ray mocked his partner by knocking on his head in Biff Tannon fashion. “ANYPONY IN THERE?! She’s in the TRUNK! How in the hell is somepony gonna see, if they’re in the TRUNK?!”

“Well,” Dutch countered, still worried, “She could HEAR what we’re saying!”

Ray groaned. “Alright, just pull over here.” He grabbed a baseball bat that had been laying beside him as the car came to a halt, and stepped out.

Rarity was getting anxious. They had stopped, and somepony was opening the trunk! She was either saved, or screwed, but she decided to be optimistic.

“Oh, phmnk you!” she sighed in relief, not able to see who was there in the intense sunlight, “You hmphve no idea phwat I’ph bn phrough-”

*WHAM*

Ray got back into the car, the noise in the trunk now silent.

“WAIT!” Dutch shrieked in terror, quite out of character for a big, ugly thug, “DID YOU KILL HER?! THE BOSS SAID WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KILL HER!”

“Keep your pants on.” Ray replied gruffly, “I didn’t kill her, I took care of the problem. Now, let’s keep going.”

“Well,” Spike remarked, as the two cars rolled past the town gate, “This is it, boys, Dodge Junction, over.”

The frontier town hadn’t changed much since the old west, unlike Salt Lake City, the REAL Dodge City, Denver, and many others. The only thing added in the last 100 years was probably the gas station.

The two cars rolled up to the Lunoco, to find prices up to 40 bits, or $10 US Dollars a gallon. Celestia had stopped issuing the old coins, but many still circled around the market.

“Well,” Snails queried, as the three got out to stretch their legs during the refueling, “What now?”

“We ask somepony if they’ve seen that car,” Spike declared, “Somepony around here who’s always looking at cars....LIKE THE SERVICE ATTENDANT!” Spike dashed over to a teenage pony, who was just shoving a gas pump nozzle into the tank of and awaiting Honda. “Excuse me, sir, can you do us a favor?”

The teenager eyed them warily. “What kind of a favor?”

“Have you seen a black car around here?”

“Sure, plenty.”

Spike tried to remember what Trixie said it was.

“A, er...Chevy sedan, from around 1964.”

“Sure have!”

Spike’s heart nearly stopped. “HOW LONG AGO DID IT LEAVE?!”

“A-About an hour ago,” the attendant stammered, “Man, they were FLYING!” He gestured to some skid marks that led from the service island, down to the curb, and onto the road. “You see that burnout? THEY did that!”

“You catch the way they were going?!”

“They were heading out toward the cherry orchard.”

“That makes no sense,” Spike muttered to himself. If they were trying to leave Equestria, which is the sole purpose of the Border Highway, due to the train not running outside the borders, then why were they heading out toward the orchard? He then shook the clerk’s hand, and the three ran back to their cars.

“OW, OOF! OOH-WHERE ARE WE GOING?! I DON’T LIKE THIS! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HIT ME WITH A BAT?!”

“There she goes again...” Ray seethed, “‘BUT, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED WHINING?’ I hope the rough terrain knocks her out....Why’d didn’t we duct tape it AROUND her head, so it WOULDN’T FALL OFF?!”

The Impala bounced and rocked on the rough desert surface. They had left the highway to make sure nopony would follow them to where they were headed.

“Okay, Dutch,” Ray instructed, pointing at some rocky hills in front of them, “Just over this range, and we’ve made it.”

“Erererererererer,” Dutch droned, his voice vibrating as the car shook, “I don’t like this either, Ray! Besides, I don’t think the car will make it over the hill, it’s too steep!”

“Just DRIVE, and save the complaining for your therapist.”

Rarity could hear some of their conversation. She knew they were in the desert, but not where they were going. All she knew was that her best chance was on the hill. If she could somehow slide out of the ropes, she could bust the trunk open with the tire iron, and escape by rolling down the hill. The white unicorn was scared, but she knew she could make it through this. She was no damsel in distress! She was a STONG MARE, DAMN IT, and she was strong enough to make it through this! She had fought ponies like these two before, and she would WIN!

For a moment, she remembered when it all started. 2044, Ponyville had become a WRECK. Criminals ruled, police were bribed, it was an awful little town. After the boutique was looted, and the library nearly burnt down, she had enough. One fateful night, she started her Porsche, got in, and began the life of a vigilante. She went by the handle of Gemstone on the C/B, and many a criminal learned to fear it. To her, it was like being a superhero, pouring her heart and soul into doing what the police couldn’t. After Sheriff Randolph died in 2047, the situation became much worse, as the precinct was arsoned, and protection of the city left to the Sheriff’s Department, who had their fair share on their plate already. The brief run at night became an all-night grind, every day of the week, every year. It was went from wonderful to horrible, from invigorating to draining, but she still had to fight. And, then, it finally caught up with her. She takes on night off the cycle, and somepony wants revenge. But, the question was, WHO?

At last, the time had come. She could feel the car slow down, and the incline increase, as she slid into the back of the trunk, hitting her head on the lid in the spot where it curved over, onto the back of the car.

Up front, Dutch was becoming paranoid.

“We need to go back there and whack her again!” He whispered to his partner, “She’s trying to bust out!”

“Dutch,” Ray replied, grabbing the bat, “I’d normally ignore you, but, she hasn’t shut up this long since we knocked her out, you’re probably right. Pull over, I’m going back there.”

Rarity was nearly free of the ropes, and the tire iron was within her grasp, she was NEARLY FREE!

Suddenly, the trunk opened again, and she was met by one of the thugs, who she could see clearly this time.

“Oh, NOT AGAI-”

*WHAM!*

Near them, there was a red ‘73 El Camino, a blue ‘73 Plymouth Satellite, and a silver ‘72 Ford Gran Torino, all parked around the campsite. There was a fire burning in the center of the camp, and three ponies sat around it, waiting for it to die.

“Alright,” Ray ordered, “This is it. Now, remember these rules around these rednecks: 1. never insult their cars. 2. Be friendly, and don’t mention Glen Campbell, they’ll go ON AND ON about that old human. And, 3. NEVER CALL THEIR LEADER BY HIS INITIALS, he HATES that.”

As they parked, joining the circle of cars, a black unicorn with a blue mane, wearing a black cowboy hat ran up. He was very excited to see the two, and actually HUGGED RAY.

“Good to see ya!” he exclaimed, giving Dutch a hug too, “You boys got the cargo?”

Dutch nodded, and proceeded to open the trunk, revealing a beaten, bruised, sleeping Rarity.

“Aw mah GOD,” the pony gasped, “WHAT DID YA DO TO HER? Don’t y’all know the boss wants her in good shape?!”

“Well, sorry,” Ray shrugged, hoping they wouldn’t find out it was him who hit her twice, “At least she’s here in one peace.”

    “True,” the Unicorn agreed, “True. So, ah take it this is Dutch’s first time workin’ for the boss?”

    “Sure is,” Dutch replied, although he wasn’t having much fun, “I don’t like this business, but Ray here told me it was good pay. Is that true?”

    “It pays, that’s fer sure. Now, COME ON!” The unicorn began to drag a sleeping bag from one of the tents, packed it, and loaded into the canopy of the El Camino. “Now, help me get these, we’re packin’ up!”

    Dutch did as he was told, disassembling the tents with the three others, and turning around in shock to see that Ray was LEAVING HIM!

    Dutch dropped the bag, and ran toward the black Impala, as it rolled back up the hill.

    “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME, MAN?!” he called, “PLEASE, DON’T LEAVE!”

    “You’re gonna guard the mare when the helicopter gets here!” Ray yelled back, “These guys have places to be!”

    After a few minutes, a black helicopter, which Dutch identified as a Sikorsky Sea King came flying over the hills, ready to pick him and the mare up. As it landed nearby, he picked the unicorn up, and placed her gently in his arms. He didn’t want to hurt her, like Ray did. Sure, she was a target, but even targets deserve DECENCY.

    He set her down on a bench, which she immediately clutched, and held tight to. He admired her for a moment, and then sat down in the co-pilot position, as it began to lift off.