It Kept Her Awake Most Nights
Luna trotted out onto her balcony. It was night time and the moon was beginning its slow descent. She had just finished overseeing the dreams of a pony riding an elephant in the middle of a blizzard. Why this pony wanted to do this was beyond her comprehension. However, this was the norm. Ponies dreamed of anything that they felt was out of the realm of possibility. If it frightened them, she’d be there swiftly, but if it made them happy, then she’d just watch from afar, drifting like a cloud in the sky.
In front of her, floating gently in her magic, was a cup. It was filled with something, something very familiar to her ever since she’s decided to reign jointly with her sister. It was her hard-earned treat for the night, one that she needed to express her gratitude over.
Luna loved her coffee.
Midnight black, sugary trap, and of careful craft; coffee was her jittery, delicious desire. She returned to its warmth every night, as she stared out into the expanse of stars. It was her comfort in the midst of the looming evil she had to endure: a long grueling session of morning court.
Luna hated morning court.
The ponies moaned and groaned to the point where she felt they did not deserve her attention. They complained over things that needed no pity. No common pony would complain of such miniscule dilemmas, yet these nobles complained about the sun’s rays missing the plant they had planted by zero point five degrees. Who in their right mind thought that it was her job to deal with such a thing?
Luna hated nobles.
The lineage of nobility… it was a system where ranking was specified by how many bits your house could stuff in their pockets, or if you’re closely related to those in charge. Some days Luna wished she could send about half of the nobles in Equestria to the sun, but Celestia wouldn’t agree on that proposition for sure. Her sister would rather have her focus on the other half who help keep Equestria on track, like the Sparkle house, whose undying loyalty to the crown made Luna smile tenfold. She couldn’t have enough respect for them.
Luna loved sparkles.
Her night sky sparkled brightly for all to see. It was like painting on a canvas, except her paint was the stars and the canvas was the sky. For ponies who didn’t get to see her sky, they may catch her in public with her mane: the stars there twinkled in the ever-so-gentle flowing breeze that stayed persistent in its measure.
Luna hated measuring.
Last time she measured something, her lucky-charm-maned sister yelled at Luna for putting too much flour in her cake. Luna denied this supposed claim. In fact, she proposed that Celestia herself had done it, considering she’s the one who edited her own recipe. It’s her own fault that Luna added the extra flour in the cake! How could Celestia not consider that too much of the substance would make her bloat? It made Luna disappointed in her sister, for being so careless with her diet. Even the nobles had taken notice in Celestia’s complete disregard as they spread rumors of the Princess’ ‘few extra cubic inches on her butt’. Still, Luna had faith that her sister would change her diet. After all, Celestia had said recently that she’s trying to lose some extra poundage…
Luna hated liars.
She spotted her sister’s ~~good-for-nothing~~ dear nephew sporting his new coat that Celestia supposedly bought him as a present for Hearth’s Warming Eve. At least, that’s what he told her. When Luna asked her sister about it, Celestia laughed. Loudly. Celestia told her he stole it from a nearby provider of coats. Hearing this, Luna erupted in anger and confronted the lying thief. To say she threatened him with being sent to the moon if he hadn’t returned the coat by sundown would be an understatement.
Luna loved justice.
Justice was to be served on a platter full of nice, assorted delectables filled with whipped cream or custard. In her eyes, food was the main reason Celestia was kept sane. With Twilight Sparkle breathing down her neck, she could not think straight. Neither could Luna, especially with all these things looming over her. Luckily, the creamy delight set right in front of her would save her from thinking astray. She took a sip of the coffee, and let its warmth embrace her wholly.
Luna loved thinking.
As the midnight mare stared out into the night, she contemplated over life. Did she miss something important? Did the mailmare not deliver her new copy of ‘All Things Nightly’? Did she forget to raise the moon again? She looked up and spotted it. No, she did not forget anything.
Luna loved the moon.
Part of her loved the moon because that’s all she had for the longest time: a lifeless piece of rock drifting around a place she thought she could never return to. The moon kept her company in the midst of loneliness. Now, being so far from it, she felt she had to repay the moon for helping her in her darkest years. Every night, she showed Equestria how good the moon was. It was a bright one, a beautiful rock that helped complement the stars. Together, they created the magnificent patterns and designs that ponies admired. It gave ponies a reason to look at the night happily, instead of being frightened of it. It made Luna happy that everypony enjoyed the night. The moon was lovely, and she wouldn’t change a thing about it.
Luna loved her sister.
There was another thing she wouldn’t change for a bit, mostly because even if she could change this mare, Luna felt that would be doing a disservice to the entirety of Equestria. To this day, Luna could not resist waking up and greeting her sister. For instance, when Luna had walked into Celestia’s chambers one early morning, she had caught Celestia looking out on her balcony, drinking some tea in her royal, banana-shaped chalice. However, when Luna decided to prank her sister by making her sister completely frightened, that poor chalice, along with its contents, rained hellfire on top of some poor stallion’s head. The stallion was fine, although he had to have his burns treated at the Castle’s infirmary, but Luna was happy that Celestia was the way she was. In fact, she’s still, to this day, learning about her, like how Celestia walked in the same awkward cycle for more than a few minutes before she realized she was even doing it. Yet… she couldn’t ever change how Celestia treated her, how behind closed doors, Luna got to see how Celestia the pony felt. It made Luna feel special, unlike those subjects who bowed in front of them both. It bothered Luna that Celestia could be so calm in front of them, talking to a large crowd of their subjects like it wasn’t even an issue. Luna was a bundle of nerves, after all.
Luna hated the word ‘subjects’.
Luna hated how it accrued a second meaning. She learnt of this when one of the royal servants approached her about a subject that she was studying. Luna realized that she was behind on the modern world, so she cracked open a dictionary and searched the archives on what this second definition meant. She learned that subjects were those specific categories you’d take when you were in school: Math, Reading, Science, Equestrian, Development of the Body, Spellcasting, History, Writing, Magic Engineering, Civil Engineering, Communications, Art, Nursing 101, Education, The Study of Wumbo, and the most important one of all that Luna wished she had: Recess.
Luna loved free time.
Whenever she had some, she utilized it to her advantage. She had become a very strong, uniform prankster that created the best pranks with her magic. She once pranked the all powerful, all knowing Trixie by plugging her own thoughts into Trixie’s, causing the poor mare to think that only the real Trixie would know how big her own toe was. Too bad she couldn’t figure out what her toe was, not that she had more than one of those.
Luna loved uniformity.
Unity in numbers… something Luna had desired for a long while. She didn’t know if she had it, even if she felt like she did. Part of her wanted to take a look back, see if her life was uniform. But the real question was, was that important? Did she have to have uniformity in her life? Would her ponies like her more if she was more open to the new times?
Luna took a long sip of her coffee. The sugary treat danced down her throat, filling her with warmth even in the cold, brisk Equestrian night.
Did she love being a Princess?
She looked down at the vast expanse of this wonderful nation, one she and her sister had now reigned over for several years.
Luna had been gone for a while, but that didn’t mean she didn’t get any credit. They had built this together, at first, that’s what their mother had intended for them to do. After being away for so long, she did admire what Celestia had done to maintain Equestria for as long as she did…
...but it was her turn to do more than just create harmony in this place.
She took one final gulp of her coffee and set it aside, the cup being gently placed on the table beside her. The delightful treat stared back at her, the steam still rising off her hot drink.
She smiled.
Luna loved being a princess. Even if everything made her stressed out to the point of relying on a drink to keep her sane, she wouldn’t trade this for anything.
She loved her job of making the sun disappear.
She loved dreamweaving, even if riding an elephant in a blizzard didn’t make much sense.
She loved the idea of uniformity. She needed to be, after all. Nightmare Moon shan’t return again, not if Luna had anything to say about it.
She loved her free time, even if it involved a little bit of poison joke...
She loved her sister, even if it involved using said poison joke on her just to make her feel a little less stressed too.
She loved justice served on a nice platter of desserts and lovely delights. They were a cure-all for her sanity.
She loved the night sky: how it twinkled and how it shined.
But most importantly…
Luna absolutely loved her coffee, even if it kept her up some nights. It gave her time to slow down and just think about how lovely the night was.
Just like now.
She picked up the cup for one final sip. She took this rather large sip, before her lips did not find purchase, the liquid of warmth had finally been extinguished, leaving a remnant of its once comfortable embrace.
She cursed underneath her breath. She needed to acquire some more of this delightful drink. Hopefully, the maids could fetch her another cup…
...so she could stay sane for the next day.
It had been six years since Luna took that sip of coffee. It was on a day when morning court bothered her with its looming presence. That day she desperately needed a cup of midnight black, sugary trap. It was that jittery concoction that had kept her up that night, thinking about what she could do to keep herself sane, how she needed to be uniform… how she needed to continue striving for a better Equestria, as a Princess, as Luna.
Now, with her retirement in full swing… her life was well. She did not have a need for coffee. In fact, she had given up on drinking it. For the past six years, Luna and her sister, Celestia, have kept each other in check, keeping each other company in a place that, well, they could finally relax and not be bothered by anypony.
That is, until Celestia died.
Luna stood on the balcony. In her grasp, that magical grasp, was that beverage. She got kept up at most nights, mostly because she had to stay awake to keep watch over her subjects in their dreams, but now, now…
...her dreams haunted her.
It’s only going to be a matter of time…
Luna shook her head. It was not time for her just yet! She had something that still kept her here. But what?
She took a sip of the beverage.
Slowly, the liquid slid down her throat. It burned hotly on her tongue, while the heat warmed her to her core. She took a deep, shaky breath, and let the drink consume her.
Luna hates death.
What about it made her so worried? Was it the fact that she, herself, did not know of what death entailed? Would her heart just stop beating while she rested? Or would she wake up to her body being sliced open in a painful death because somepony had a vendetta against her? She would like to not think of the second option, her insides bubbling at the thought of somepony doing this to her, but yet again, she did do terrible things in the past, especially to her sister.
Luna hated her past.
Well, hated might be a strong word here. It did help her make her who she was tonight. And hopefully the next few days—she didn’t know when she would die anyway. Why should she worry again? Eh, didn’t matter. Luna knew that she was proud of herself, proud of who she became: the pony that defied all odds; that became somepony who could help others, including herself, mind you; and of course, the pony who learned of her true role in Equestria. Her role? Rule Equestria with Celestia until her death.
Luna loved helping other ponies.
It was weird to think about, but her heart sang the truth of its magnificence. Friendship truly did shape her psyche: one of a ruler and of a pony whose heart was true to herself, true to others. She was willing to risk her sanity by taking a sip of the jittery concoction every day to help fuel her desire, this newfound fulfilling desire, of helping another pony. And if she had to die of a heart attack because she was too busy sipping on that gracious drink to save other ponies, then she will. She would do it thousands and thousands of times, until she could no longer respawn.
Luna took another sip of her coffee.
Milky substance maliciously sedating Luna’s stress. Meddling into affairs long gone, now reaping the benefits of its core: taking control and ceasing Nightmare Moon once more. Imagine a world without the bean, sitting alone without this treat, eyes focused on the moon in the sky, shifting attention, creeping tension, Luna’s apprehension. She would’ve been gone a long time ago if coffee had not been discovered. She was very grateful that this mighty drink could soothe her soul, even if it had been six years, six long, aching years.
Luna loves this feeling.
Coffee made her feel… alive. Granted, she had felt alive when Celestia was around. The two, unbeknownst to the rest of the kingdom, would play pranks, eat cupcakes filled with substances that, well, may not be safe for work, and even drunkenly creating new laws that might make the Equestrian population wheeze, while the nobles lay siege… in court.
Luna hated the nobles.
Those nobles. Oh, they were the worst. Besides the ranking system being absolutely atrocious, the attitudes that they exuded on the remaining population somedays was unacceptable. The nerve some of them had to turn the other cheek upon Twilight’s comeuppance. However, not all of them were completely ignorant. The Sparkle House…
Luna loved sparkles.
Back when she was the celestial holder of the moon, Luna loved casting her night sky for all to see. However, now, she could only bask in its light, those little stars twinkling like sparkles in a dress, flowing like a mane without duress. She could imagine it now, how she had six years ago, how she had before all this came crashing down, how life slowly took its toll, how it all made thinking of time a measure that never ended, a singular strand that tick-tocked to the sounds of weakness in breath.
Luna hated measuring.
Another sip ran down her gullet. She supposed it would be just enough for a teaspoon, but yet again, she couldn’t even gather the appropriate amount even if she wanted to. In the past, her sister, her dear, wonderful sister, decided that the world would be better if she had graced them with her flapjacks. Normally, her flapjacks were adequate, and some days, delightful. On others… when she decided to Tartarus with measuring, they were positively dreadful. At least they were made with kindness in mind, even if the nobles thought even less of their dear Princess. Actually, she hoped that maybe someday Twilight would utilize the excess of flour to clog the arteries of every inadequate piece of horse manure there was still left in the noble houses—Luna shivered.
Luna hates being cold.
For some reason, ever since her descent into retirement, things have gotten worse. Chilling winds could easily tear her down now, whereas before cold nights were even more-so welcoming than hot days. It baffled her, even now, with this drink still feeding her warmth and comfort, at how truly freezing she was, her fur inadequate protection from the night’s loving embrace.
Luna hates thinking.
She felt herself droning on about in her mind nowadays. Drifting between thought after thought after thought after thought after thought after thought after thought… until there was only one to remain: did she do her best? She did, Luna thought. Although, was it enough? Did Equestria need her? Or did Celestia need her now to rest too? Unlike her sister, though, Luna was strong, not strong in the sense of being able to deny an immortal death, but… did she think that maybe, just maybe, even in her final years, that this was how it would end? Drinking in her final moments, taking in warmth under a shroud of sparkles, and wondering was it all worth it?
She took a long, gracious sip of her coffee. Nice on the palate, tender on the maw, filtering through her like water in a lake, diving straight in to just feel something other than living above it—could she canter after tomorrow?—her eyes gaze upon the frontier.
Luna loves Equestria.
It was different now. Luna could feel it. That’s why Celestia and Luna had rescinded their power and cast it upon Twilight to handle the task. They were not needed anymore. In order to love someone you must learn to let go. That’s what she knew. That’s what she knows. She let go of the crown in order to let go of that responsibility. Luna had to let go to love it more, to appreciate the rolling hills, the tall mountain tops, the forests aplenty, the wildlife’s natural cycle, and the dedication to the cause: a more free Equestria, one where harmony can co-exist in disharmony… where Discord will learn his role too.
Luna twiddled her hooves. She cast the cup away from her, on a table nearby. It clinged against the surface, mostly because the table was a bit more… metallic than the ones in the Castle, but yet again, that wasn’t an issue. It was just a new sound amidst a modern world that no longer needed two to rule.
She sat on her flanks, reflected, let loose a bit of emotion, a tear cascading down her face and plopping in a small dollop on the concrete, lifeless floor.
Then another.
Then another.
Then another.
Then another.
She couldn’t stop it. The overflowing emotion, it was all coming out at once. The feeling of being lost, the feeling of being held hostage, the feeling of being reunited, ruling, keeping a watchful eye over others, maintaining balance in imbalance and measuring cups of flour for pancakes and…
...now Luna was alone.
She wiped her muzzle. There was snot on it, but she didn’t have a tissue. She’s been down this road before, even having just to deal with it and maybe let gravity take care of the rest. She wasn’t on the moon anymore. No longer was she a hostage waiting to be rescued from herself. She was just… alone.
She sniffled and got herself off her flanks. She needed to find a tissue before returning to bed. At least her muzzle would be clear of debris before attempting to sleep a restless one once more.
Luna left the balcony and returned to her chambers. The cup stayed there, without a drop left within it.
She’ll return to get the cup later. She’ll need another full one in the morning.
Author's Note
I don't know why I decided to write this like I did with the first one, but here we are. I tweaked a lot of the original, adding almost 600 words and tossing about 300. And with this addition, I think it adds a lot more dimension to the original piece. Let me know what you all think.
I will be reposting more content like this soon, mostly with reworks and re-imagining of said stories. I hope you all don't mind.
Hope you all are staying safe in this pandemic.
