The movement was subtle and silent and yet still it tore Twilight from slumber, plucking her from the endless depths of her dreams like a flower in a field. She blinked bleary eyes and pulled herself up into a sitting position, trying to siphon sight from darkness and coming up short.
The room, of course, was buried in Luna's touch, as Twilight expected it would at midnight. It made little difference to the purple mage, who, while unable to cut through the darkness of her room, already knew where it was she needed to go. She climbed from her bed and quietly meandered across the room to sit next to the silhouette gazing silently out the window.
"What's wrong?" Twilight whispered, ready as she always was. Even in the dead of night, she was ready. Ready to pry apart any puzzle, ready to rip a riddle to shreds, ready to tackle any obstacle that would dare try to hold her marefriend's happiness captive. She was ready.
Aside from a flicker of her ear to indicate she'd heard the inquiry, Trixie remained motionless, gazing up and out at the stars and Twilight was ready to wait all night next to her if she had to. Finally, Trixie lowered her head and let out a labored sigh.
"Bad dream," she squeaked, voice hardly audible above the smothering darkness of the room. Twilight leaned closer and gently wrapped a foreleg into the spot around Trixie's shoulders where she found it fit perfectly.
"Wanna talk about it?" came the warm whisper from the gloom. Again, Trixie sighed but found her weight shifting to lean against the sturdy mare next to her.
"It was a ...bad place. Trixie was in a bad place,"
"A bad place?"
"Twilight...do you ever think about the afterlife? What's waiting for us when our time finally comes? Trixie does. Sometimes Trixie can't stop thinking about it. Trixie hasn't always been great and powerful, Twilight. Trixie has done things she regrets. Small things. Tiny things. Bad things. And, and they all add up, eventually, you know, and...and sometimes I....I think that..that it doesn't matter what I do. My life is always going to be trash and I'm always going to be trash and I'll end up going to a place where trash belongs," The words came tumbling out. Raw. Broken. Miserable. Twilight closed her eyes and tightened her grip around Trixie's shoulders, listening quietly to every shuddering word that spilled past Trixie's quivering lips.
"Trixie was walking down this tunnel. A red tunnel. A place where all of Trixie's broken dreams went to die. She could hear screaming in the distance and Trixie knew where she was. Where she was headed. There was no going back. There wasn't anywhere else to go. Just a tunnel that went down to a place Trixie didn't want to be, but couldn't avoid and she's scared it was a glimpse of-" but Trixie didn't get to finish, her words lost to the soft kiss that brushed against her lips, and Twilight's strong grasp growing even stronger.
"That won't happen. It can't," she whispered simply. Trixie gave a little snort. Twilight had such conviction in her voice, it was almost comforting. If it weren't so patronizing.
"It can't? How can you be so sure?" Trixie sighed. The foreleg around her grew even tighter still, and Twilight cast a warm smile in her direction that Trixie could spot even through the gloom of the room and the fog of depression that was suffocating her.
"Because. I'll vouch for you!" Twilight said brightly. Trixie almost laughed. Really. Was Twilight under the impression it was some kind of club? Was that the way things worked? Trixie didn't know, but, then, neither did Twilight.
"Trixie does not believe it works like that. We will be separated. We will not go to the same place. We can't. You're so much...you're...we're...very different ponies, Twilight Sparkle." Trixie muttered glumly, letting her gaze find purchase at the window again.
"Wrong. We're going to a good place. The both of us. I swear it," Twilight said with a brazen smile. Trixie frowned and twisted herself around, throwing Twilight's foreleg off her shoulder. The nerve of this know-it-all mage. Here Trixie was, having an existential crisis, and Twilight was just randomly throwing out answers like they were fact which was impossible! Did she not understand how offensive it was to make light of her fears?! Sure, Trixie could be insensitive sometimes but this was a whole new level of oblivious!
"How can you say that with such certainty?! How can you possibly know?!" Trixie growled. Twilight shrugged her shoulders.
"Because I go where you go. It's as simple as that. If they want to send you to a bad place, then that's where I'm going. You go. I follow." Twilight explained. Trixie balked. Momentarily, she was touched by Twilight's selflessness. It was simultaneously beautiful and horrific at the same time, and it wrenched something in Trixie's stomach.
"N-no. Twilight. No. That's not how it works! Trixie would not let you follow her into such a miserable place. You cannot! She won't let you!! It is her fate, not yours!" Trixie stammered. To her amazement, Twilight simply shrugged again. Did Twilight not understand what she was saying? Was she not listening?
"It's fine. That's not going to happen, because we're going to a good place," she explained nonchalantly. Like it were the most simplistic thing in the world. Like two plus two was four. Trixie shook her head again, trying to wade through disbelief, rage, fear, and suffering for the words she wanted to spit out. To throw at Twilight to make her understand how scared she was and how alone she felt and how badly Twilight was failing to help her. Just telling her things would be fine was not comforting in the slightest without someway to back it up!
"But how can you be so sure of that?!" Trixie scowled. She didn't want to sound mad. Really she didn't, but that's how it came out. That's how it felt. Twilight was just trying to help. She got that. She could understand that. But nothing she was saying was offering that help to Trixie right now. The purple mage quietly pointed out the window, towards the stars in the sky.
"Because where you go, I go. As long as I'm with you, it's a good place, pure and simple. There is no bad place as long as we're together. I don't know what happens afterward. I don't really care. As long as I get to spend that time with you, I think we're going to be okay." Twilight said softly, reaching out with both forelegs to rest them on Trixie's shoulders. She turned the blue mage towards her and leaned forward again to deliver a single loving kiss, and for Trixie, it had all the answers in the world.
Quietly, Trixie pulled herself free of the kiss, and gently clutched Twilight's hooves in hers. She gave a squeaky little yawn, and the two of them crawled back into bed, warm and safe under the covers. And there, lying in the darkness, cuddled up next to Twilight, Trixie realized, she was already in a good place.
Author's Note
Can't sleep. Have some d'awww
