She does it with a Long Circular Weapon
Hooves shaked under the night sky. The world was upside down. There would be no time for experience or hesitation. The only thought that prevailed was the sweet release of brain matter onto the castle floor. Princess Luna begged for it, she couldn’t handle the continued suffering. It turned out that Celestia was her mother, she lied to her after all this time. The shotgun pressed against her mouth and the devastation of existence crossed her soul to pieces.
She remembered those painful moments. All these years that Celestia had lied to her. She treated her like a sister. Not somepony who came from her own womb. This idea destroyed her mind. It could not be quelled nor could the thought ever escape. Just like that, while eating dinner, Celestia just told her that like it was flat nothing.
She recalled that garbage is like emptiness. It foamed in the sides of the brain. The juices that surrounded it would bubble and froth with anger. Of course, Luna couldn't tell such a truth. She just dusted it off like it was nothing.
“Oh please Tia, you must be joking!” said Princess Luna in that distant memory.
But, she knew it was no joke. It all made sense now because Celestia had done these types of things before.
The barrel went into her mouth without hesitation. She could feel the cold touch of the metal that clinged to her tongue. Princess Luna didn’t want any repercussions, she just wanted a clean and simple job done.
She remembered how she herself just walked off like that remark was nothing. How Tia began to tear up with those drops of tears down her eyes. That her “sister” was just a cold reminder of the truth.
Luna even laughed at the prospect at first before it crawled up her spine. Why would her own sister say such a thing? How long has she known this monstrous thing and why did she want to tell her now of all times?
Should she call her mother from now on?
Luna thought and decided that death was a better truth after all she’s suffered.
First the draconequus sex that she made her do to help curb Discord. Second, when she manifested herself, she sent her own child to the moon for a thousand years. Now she has to stay in the castle and be bothered to do anything anymore.
Enough was enough, Luna surrounded her magic around the trigger and clicked it to fire.
The blast destroyed her internal brain matter and made her scalp shatter into pieces. Blood flew on the bed and matter caked the silver walls of the floor.
Princess Celestia cried her heart out. Her dearest Princess Luna lay in the coffin. Her open skull is visible while dressed in a beautiful night gown. On the side of her skull was the mane undestroyed by the shotgun blast. Many had gathered for the funeral, but most were on their iphones. The new iphone s1 came out today and revolutionized the ability to contact individuals across Equestria. Everypony had one and barely paid attention to the monologue produced by Prince Blueblood near the corpse.
“She was the kindest, considerate, aunty that I could have ever met!” said Blueblood as the click of the new iphones continued.
“Her suicide is a reminder to those who, “sniff” anypony can succumb to the darkness of ones own heart…”
Princess Celestia sat near The Prince of Saddle Arabia, the two discussed matters of the future.
“So what will you do now without a secondary princess to do all your work?” said The Prince.
Princess Celestia giggled, “Oh no worries, I can just birth another “princess” and go from there, I just need a certain donor is all”. Her eyes turned sultry and engaged.
The Prince dropped a bit of sweat from his brow.
“Uh, me of all ponies? But, all so soon after your “achem” sister died?” he said.
Celestia would not take no for an answer, while everypony looked through their phones, her muzzle went inside his arabian pants.
The continued click of the phones and the heartfelt monologue from Blueblood continued as a slight sucked sound could be heard to no ponies discretion. As they continued the Prince gave out a quiet sigh of satisfaction.
“Oh sweet celestia…” he said before he dived deep into his seat. Celestia licked her lips and swallowed some type of substance.
And so with Princess Luna’s death, the Saddle Arabians and ponies of Equestria had a heartfelt union on her “behalf”.
-_-
Princess Celestia gave out a loud bellow. Doctors from all over Equestria rushed to her side as they did the best they could to curb her screams. The loud cursed words she would emit gave out as they tried to coerce the goddess in labor to be calm. Lightning shot out into the night and the sun shined in different shades of light. Many ponies got ocular cancer from the strobe light show. Others were advised to stay home and look away until Celestia had birthed her foal.
With one loud scream, Celestia shot the foal out into a doctor’s hooves. Princess Celestia breathed deep breaths.
“Now I remember why I hate making babies,” she said.
The doctor brought the filly forward, she had a poofy green mane and a white body with a horn and wings.
“I shall call this one, Princess Luna 2!” she said.
Every doctor in the vicinity clapped for her and her newborn foal. Others whistled and cheered and the sun stopped with its insane light strobe effect. Princess Luna 2 burbled in Celestia’s hooves as she gave a smooch onto its cute cheeks.
“Oh you will do wonders of all the work my child, just like your sister did for thousands of years”.
They nuzzled, the filly gave a loud “wee” and they hugged deep into a loving embrace.
“Cut!” said a camerapony. Princess Celestia frowned and levitated the pony into a doctor's hooves before it was let go.
“Geez, all of that took so much work, take this filly to the nursery, I’ll come back when she’s three years old” she said as she walked away into the exit. “Till then, take care of her just well enough, ok?”
Celestia left and the doctor pony went off into the nursery. There she took off her hazmat helmet. It was Princess Luna, her skull still broken open, and her face maimed. With a shine of her horn, Luna’s skin and head regenerated itself.
“Hah, what they don’t know is that I’ve killed myself over a hundred times from her stupid and insane shenanigans” she said. “It’s almost a part of me at this point, but you young niece or sister will not suffer that same fate, coochy coo!”
And with that, Luna walked off out of the hospital with Princess Luna 2 in her hooves.
