Chapter Five
The Line Between Friends

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It was beyond embarrassing. Sure, in theory this wasn’t that big of a deal. She just had to ask Starlight a simple question, one that Starlight was unique among her friends in her ability to answer.

To that end, Twilight was glad that it was Starlight. She may be frozen in place in front of Starlight’s bedroom, but that was preferable to asking, say, Fluttershy about this. She couldn’t imagine ever talking to Fluttershy about anything like this at all…

Twilight sighed. This was ridiculous. Starlight was one of her best friends. They lived together, they worked together, and this was just a simple question. She had nothing to be worried about.

But then, worried was the wrong word. No, Twilight wasn’t worried, she was embarrassed. Which she shouldn’t be, but then…

She shook her head and forced herself to knock on the door. She was being ridiculous, it was just one little question.

Starlight opened the door. She was still in what passed for pajamas – a punk rock band’s tank top and sweat pants – despite it being midday. She rubbed her eyes as if she was just waking up. “Hey, Twilight. I was gonna head down to work on the spell in a bit, promise.”

“Oh, it’s not about that. I just…” Just had a question. Just need your help with something. Just need to stop turning red before I even ask the damn question… “Er, well, I just wanted to talk.”

“Oh, sure.” Starlight stepped aside and let Twilight into her room. As usual, it was a mess, but Twilight didn’t comment. Starlight wasn’t a child who needed to be told to clean her room, she was a grown mare who could decide how she wanted to live.

The room was only illuminated by Starlight’s lava lamp and the light coming in from the doorway, so it looked like Twilight was right about Starlight having just woken up. She sat down on her friend’s bed as Starlight flipped on a light switch then took a seat beside Twilight.

“So what’s on your mind?” Starlight asked.

“It’s… kind of embarrassing.”

Starlight smiled. “Questions about your new friend?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Trust me, that thing is no friend of mine…”

Starlight grinned. “I know it’s hard, but it kinda helps if you stop fighting it. I know it’s different for you than it is for me, but you really should try to accept that at least for now, it’s part of you.”

“I guess…” Truthfully, Twilight felt a lot more comfortable now that Rarity gave her some clothes that actually hid that thing. Now if only she could stop feeling it all the damn time. “Anyway, what I really wanted to ask was… Well, it’s actually embarrassing…”

“Twilight, I’ve seen your dick.” Starlight nudged her. “And your vagina before that, so you can’t just say it’s because it’s not a normal part of your body.”

Amazingly, this didn’t help Twilight feel any less embarrassed. “Well, I hoped that you weren’t looking in that hot spring!”

Starlight arched her eyebrow. “Maybe.”

Twilight glared for a moment before they both broke down laughing. It was things like this that made Starlight easier to talk to about this.

“So really, what can I do for you?”

Twilight took a deep breath. “I need advice.”

“Ooh, so we’re experimenting some more?”

Then again, maybe Starlight wasn’t that easy to talk to. “I’m not experimenting with anything! Well, no more than I already have, but I don’t – I’m not – I just –”

Starlight placed her finger on Twilight’s mouth. “Just breathe. Sorry, I can see this is hard for you. I’ll behave.”

One more deep breath couldn’t hurt, even if it didn’t seem to help very much. “Okay. So what I was wondering is about, er, underwear. Is there like… a special shop I need to buy new stuff from?”

Starlight smacked her forehead and groaned.

“I’m serious!” Twilight was somehow growing even redder now that her question was out in the open. “Mine don’t fit anymore!”

“No, I know you’re serious, and I see where you’re coming from.” Starlight smiled. “I just can’t believe I didn’t think of this. Of course you have no idea what’s going on down there.”

Twilight stared down so as to not look at Starlight. She only wanted to avoid eye contact, but she found herself staring at her junk. It was well hidden by the pants Rarity had given her, but still, she felt like she could make out its outline.

“Okay, so, I’m guessing you usually wear tighter, form-fitting panties?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said. She chanced a look at Starlight, and saw that she was blushing a little bit as well. That helped Twilight feel a little better.

“So yeah, now you have a little more going on down there, it’s not going to all fit in the same size. You want to get undies with a little bit of spandex in it, that’ll help a lot. Boy shorts are better than bikinis if you don’t mind wearing those.”

“I’m fine with boy shorts.” Twilight usually wore bikinis or hipsters, but she could see why boy shorts would be better. “So… is that it? I don’t need, like, special panties?”

“No, not really. If you’ve gotta go for bikinis or whatever you might want to go up a size, see how that fits. Before I started HRT, I used to wear padded panties that gave me more feminine hips, but your hips still look great. Oh, we should test your hormone levels! I really hope you don’t need HRT.”

“I’ve been monitoring it, so far it seems to only impact my junk itself. Starswirl had already developed a separate HRT spell, so he must’ve just been interested in the plumbing aspect.”

Starlight nodded, then stood up. She yawned and stretched, revealing a little of her midriff. “Wanna take some of my undies and see how they fit? I don’t mind if you don’t.”

Twilight sighed. “I really should just go out to town and get my own, but…”

“Hey, at least try some on. Promise I haven’t been doing anything gross in them, and they’re clean. Once we know if they fit better, we can go into town together and pick some up for you.”

Twilight smiled. “Alright, that sounds good. Thank you.”

Starlight pulled open a drawer and handed Twilight a pair of blue boy shorts. They were probably Twilight’s size, since she and Starlight shared clothes a lot.

“Mind if I try them on now?” Twilight asked.

“Sure, knock yourself out.”

Twilight stood up as Starlight sat down. Since she was wearing pants, Twilight had to strip down, but she was getting past the point of embarrassment. Besides, at least it was Starlight.

As for Starlight herself, she didn’t bother to turn away, but she also didn’t seem to be specifically looking. It seemed she found it just as innocent as if Twilight was taking off a jacket.

Twilight pulled stepped out of her pants then pulled off her own ill-fitting bikini panties. She pulled on the ones Starlight gave her, finding them surprisingly constricting for boy shorts. “That elastic sure does its job, I guess.”

“It’s a lifesaver,” Starlight said. “They look cute on you.”

“Thanks.” Twilight pulled her pants back on and felt much more comfortable. She was still painfully aware of her dick’s presence, but at least it seemed to be being held in place better now.

“That was so much easier than changing in front of Rarity,” Twilight said with a small laugh.

“Guess it’s easier when we have the same thing, huh?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean that!” Twilight held up her hands. “I just meant, well, you’re like me! I mean, you’re scientifically minded! Rarity is great and all, but you know how she is. I know with you that you’re just going to see it as a body part, and not as a, well, you know.”

“A dick?” Starlight smirked. “Uh, news flash, Twi, but I like hens. Literally every girl I’ve slept with has had one.”

“Oh, of course! But I mean, well, that is…” Twilight shifted in place. “Hens?”

“Girl dick.” Starlight tilted her head closer. “You know, like cock, but girly.”

“Oh. That makes sense.”

“And I gotta say, yours is really cute. Now that I’ve had the chance to get a… what is this, third showing?”

“Starlight!” Twilight placed her hands protectively over her… hen?

Starlight laughed. “Relax, Twi. I’m just teasing. You know I’m not, like, looking at it like that, right?”

“Yeah, I know… It’s just… hard.”

To her credit, Starlight tried to keep from laughing. She didn’t manage, but she tried, at least. “Oh, is it really? Gee, Twi, if you want some help with that…”

“I didn’t mean that!”

“Sorry, you just make it so easy!”

“I swear to Celestia if you turn that into an ‘easy’ joke…”

“Please, I have some class.”

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief and took a seat on the bed. She didn’t mind being the butt of Starlight’s jokes usually. It wasn’t like Twilight didn’t return fire most of the time. They had a playful banter between them, and they both liked it that way.

But, well… She did wish this topic wasn’t one they’d joke about.

“Seriously though, Twi, I’m glad you’re comfortable with me. And I promise I’m not, like, masturbating to you or whatever it is you’re afraid of.”

Twilight bit her lip. No, of course Starlight wouldn’t do that. It was just Twilight who thought of her friends like that…

“Twi? You okay?” Starlight nudged Twilight. “Er, do you want me to masturbate to you?”

“No, of course not!” Why would Twilight want Starlight to treat her the way she treated Fluttershy or Pinkie? “And I know you wouldn’t… You’re a good friend…”

“Yeah, well, I guess I have some standards.”

Of course she did. It was just Twilight that didn’t. “Yeah…”

“You sure you’re alright? Look, I didn’t mean to tease you that much.”

Twilight shook her head, but she couldn’t keep a tear from getting out. She just thought of Pinkie, who had only been trying to show Twilight a new experience. Or Fluttershy, who had never even done anything. And yet, every day thoughts of them scrolled through her head…

“Oh geez, I really did tease you too hard… Come here.”

Starlight pulled Twilight closer and the next thing she knew, she was crying on Starlight’s shoulder. She felt like a pervert, and an idiot on top of that. Worst of all, she couldn’t even tell Starlight why she was crying.

Fortunately, she had an excuse literally built in. “Guess you really are having a tough time with that thing…”

“Well, it hasn’t been easy.” Twilight wiped her eyes and found a smile, but only at how ridiculous her next statement was going to be. “Wanna know something funny? Pretty sure the reason I’m so emotional is that I’m supposed to be on my period right now.”

Starlight smirked. “Geez, glad you don’t have that on top of everything else.”

Twilight laughed a little. Just a little, but it was something. “Yeah, that’s one thing I don’t miss.”

“I can imagine. That’s the one part of having a vagina I’ve never wanted.”

“Yeah.”

They were quiet for a while, and eventually Starlight lay back in her bed. She pulled Twilight along with her, so the two mares were lying down together.

“Hey, Twi?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. I really should know better than to tease someone who’s going through dysphoria.”

Twilight took a deep breath. “Yeah, well, it’s new for me too.”

“I guess that’s why I got caught up in joking. Most transmares who are as comfortable in their body as you usually are don’t mind joking around like that. But… this is new for you.”

Twilight didn’t say anything. She wasn’t really a transmare, but the differences between herself and a transmare were much smaller than they used to be, for sure. Still, she wasn’t sure where she fell in all this anymore, so she just kept her thoughts to herself.

Starlight sighed. “We’ll figure it out.”

“For both of us.” Twilight rolled off of Starlight, but stayed pressed against her. It wasn’t like she didn’t like being held by her friend, but she wanted to look her in the face when she said this. “I promised, remember? I promised you we’d get you the body you want, and I’m going to keep that promise.”

Starlight stroked Twilight’s mane out of her face. “You’re too good to me, Twi.”

Twilight placed her hand on Starlight’s. “Only because you deserve it.”

They smiled at each other for a moment, then before Twilight knew what was happening, Starlight put her other hand on Twilight’s cheek, leaned in, and kissed her. And before she knew what was going on, Twilight was kissing her back.

It all happened so fast, and just as fast, Twilight pulled away. She stared at Starlight wide-eyed.

Starlight’s mouth was open just a little bit, then she closed it and squeezed her eyes shut. “Sorry, too soon, I’m just… I’m sorry…”

“Too soon!?” Twilight sat up and shook her head. “You planned that?”

“No! It just, well, we were having a moment, and I thought…”

“You thought it was okay to just kiss me out of nowhere? You know how I feel about Fluttershy!”

“Yeah, but I thought… I don’t know…”

“And what about Trixie?”

“If Trixie wanted me, she could’ve had me time and again by now. Same with Fluttershy about you, you know.”

“Hey, watch it.”

Starlight frowned and sat up herself. “Oh come on, it’s not like I don’t know about you and Pinkie.”

“You… you what!?”

“Yeah, maybe don’t fuck in the middle of a public room if you want it to be secret.”

“We didn’t fuck!” Twilight rose to her hooves. “We just…”

“What, fooled around? I heard enough, trust me.”

“So what? You thought because I did something with Pinkie that you could have a go too?”

“I don’t know!” Starlight threw out her arms. “I thought it was worth a shot I guess? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry! I just… I don’t know, okay?”

Twilight walked to the door. “I think I need some time.”

“Twilight… I’m sorry…”

“I’ll… see you later.”

Twilight opened the door and walked down the hall, and she found herself crying once again.

Author's Note

Hey y'all, been a while. So this story... I probably shouldn't have published it. I'm not really happy with it, because I hate writing sex scenes and can't even stand to read back what I wrote. That said, I love this story, and still want to do it. So I figured I'd try to keep it going, with one huge change:

I'm no longer going to try to make it a porn story. I'm going to have explicit sex scenes, and I'm not changing what was already there, but I don't want this story to be what I would think of as porn any longer. I've read a number of books with explicit sex that I wouldn't label porn. American Gods by Neil Gaiman comes to mind, but A Song of Ice and Fire by Geroge R. R. Martin is probably more well known.

So yeah, that's where I'm at now. This story always had questionable status as viable masturbation fuel what with how miserable Twilight's been and how much of that was directed at her sexuality, but it's going to get even more questionable as I stop even trying to make it sexy (because while I was failing before, I was trying). This is the internet so I have no doubt someone will still find it fappable, but I'm not trying to make it so. Also, expect short chapters like this, because this is meant to be a fun low effort story and it's already turned into quite a lot of effort, so I'm not trying to push out me length chapters here.

That said, this chapter was always intended to not feature sex, so it'll be in the upcoming chapters that I'll have to refigure out what to do. As with before, expect this to update very sporadically, but hopefully it won't be another three months before it does lol