Everbody Hates Eqeustria

by EvERBODYHATESCHRIS

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Romance, Equestria Girls, Comedy, Main 7 (EqG), Crossover
Length: 2252

My names Chris and this is my story

So my names chris im an african american boy who goes to canterlot high and to say the least i hate it you try to like it when nobdy ever knows your there its my life

Published 2020-04-04 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-05 02:02:43 UTC

1.Welcome to my life

Today ill tell you a story nit just any but mine. More of a coming of age story but whatever. My names Chris and im pretty sure everyone hates me.
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Today started like any other day,get up,brush my teeth,and dress. I know not much but hey can you blame me like what else should i do. i slipped past my parents not caring for breakfast it only consumed more time. But the second im out the door i was met by a cold slap in the face. "@#$! It's cold",i mutter. i began my journey to the dreaded place ive learned too call school. "Oh god please don't let that b-",someone interrupted me.

"Oi wheres my money mud-face",A yellow faced girl with condiment hair asked me. now see i usually tended to ignore her give up my money and walk away but today is the day.

~Few Mins Later~

So i lost my lunch money.Sighing i entered the classroom sitting behind rainbow dash. Either she didn't notice me or didn't care...I'll go for the latter.My grades were poor but did i care no i let them fall. i mean im still surprised i haven't fallen behind Gay-bow here. Speaking of which she's asleep 'Now i know why im not behind her how is she still on the soccer team', i thought to myself.

"Mr.Kart pay attention please", Mrs. Cheerlie Scolded. Nodding instinctively and going back to my work i heard a few snickers. "This is gonna be a long day", i Said to nobody in particular.

~ Lunch Time~

I sat alone at my own table i never had a knack for sitting with people who would just talk behind my back. Let me tell you its very annoying. Id rather you tell me you don't like me then to actually hang with me.

"HI THERE MY NAMES PINKIE PIE AND YOU LOOK REALLY LONELYSOIDECIDEDTOCOMEOVERHERETOCHHERYOU-",she started i caught her name and some of the rest.

"So you came over to my table cause im by myself",I asked making sure i heard her right.

"Mhm Yep you look so lonely and your eating this- no that's it come on",She stated i was seriously confused and tried to talk myself out of this.

"W-Wait my delicious half eaten bacon sandwich NOOOOOO in the name of black Jesus why".i asked her? she never responded just dragged me to table. And next thing i knew i was in a seat. "W-what the hell",was my only managable response. I could feel i wasn't welcomed here at the table cause the rest of the group seemed to literally let off killing intent.

"Soooo Your Chris...right",the pale one asked. I mentally gulped if i died i die a free man dammit.

"Yea i am", i responded clearly. how i managed it im not sure but by the lord i needed it.

"So i hear your pretty hated round here what did you do." ,Rainbow asked. She clearly wanted to know and yet there was no answer.

"So your hanging round with this loser HA he must have paid you",Some dude wearing no shirt said- WAIT WERE THE HELL IS HIS SHIRT.

Damn weirdo but that's beside the point. Now i can take trash talk thrown at me but dissing somebody else cause you dont like them is just wrong. "Hey look jockstrap you clearly see i was dragged here so why not walk a wee bit over there and calm down",I said. I could feel everybody's eyes on me.

"What did you call me you weirdo",HE asked menacingly.

"Im sorry i called you a jockstrap but thats an understatement your brain is the size of a pee and your clearly on steroids you yell so much you could put scarlxrd to shame i mean i swear your English is worse then future",I said. He was clearly mad and well i was flung halfway across the lunch room."AHHHHHHHHHH SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY HE CAN THROW"!

3rd Person P.O.V
"Did he just stand up for us" Rarity asked.

"I think he did", Rainbow respond
"SEE I TOLD YOU HE WAS NICE",Pinkie said enthusiastically.
"HELPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEE"! Screamed Chris as he was still in the air

1st Person P.O.V
I was caught i dont know by who but it seems they cared enough to catch me. I looked to see Pinkie had caught me. WAIT HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET OVER HERE. "Next thing i know somebody's gonna murder my parents while im sleep", i said. Somewhere somebody sneezed.

"You alright there sugar cube" A girl with tan skin asked me. Nodding me head i was helped up
"Sorry about earlier if we sounded..-",She was interuppted.
"Menacing", i said .
" Yeah that's the word",Rainbow said

"No problem", i said. i started to walk away but i turned around only to blush as i got a wink from pinkie. This year might be interesting.

~Late evening~

Sleep was all my body wanted and eventually i gave in. I was having an interesting dream i was featuring on a song with Roddy rich and it was lit strange thing was i've never heard it before. Whatever i was woken up by a loud bang and instantly i was up in a sitting position. i scanned my room and nothing was out of place but i felt a strange sensation to check downstairs i wish i never did. Remember what i said earlier yeah that one. "karma is a @#$!"

~Everybody hates Chris theme song plays~

PREVIEW: "Ehh pinkie i don't think that's exactly what they mean by adopt" i dryly told her

"Of course it does silly just pack up and come on" She giggled. I wondered how she always was so happy i really do pinkie is really the only person im close to other than applejack. Aj was like my older sister and no not cause she was taller.

"You just wont admit shes taller than you",Pinkie said.

"Only like 3 inche- WAIT HOW THE HELL DID YOU-"

"I NEVER WILL NEVER TELL YOU SPIE"! She punned while laughing.

"I THOUGHT I SAID NO PUNS"! I yelled at her.

"WELL PUNS ARE FUN"! She argued.

"DAMN IT PINKIE"! I yelled.

Author's Note

So that's it for this chapter pls tell me what you think if i should make more and also self qaurintine yourself alright i get how us black brothers want to be outside but stay in pls

2.Life is not a joke

OK so im confused when somebody ask you to tell them the details you remember explain to me why they don't ask you if you were even there. Or is this detective one of those racist bastards who thinks black people are all the same. You know what i don't actually care at this point in time. "So let me get this straight,You'r asking me if i was anywhere near my parents at the time of the murder, When i clearly told all the officers the same damn story",I asked him.

"Well i have to ask to be sure seeing a lot of people change there stories so it's only natural you mi-",I cut him off.

"OK so your telling me that this is part of your job", I asked him. He only nodded his head. I'm finding extremely hard to believe this, then again watching criminal minds and NCIS does not make me an expert. i just went along with his "Questioning". I had to sit in the waiting room afterwards and what better way to wait out the time then music. I turned my Phone on and selected my Polo G playlist. The first song to play was Picture This (https://youtu.be/PaxAVJt5pl8). I closed my eyes and I sat there in silence.

"Mr Kart will you please follow me into the front of the station", Said a random voice. I wasn't listening properly so i stayed silent until i felt a hand snap in front of me. Snapping out of my trance i looked at the person who had done so. It was a male officer who seemed to be in his young 20's. I took out my earbuds as he repeated the question. I nodded silently and followed after him.

~Time Skip~

Looking out the window of the car i was currently in i felt a sense of ease wash over me as i stared at Sea of green that was grass. It was peaceful as we drove back to the place i didn't exactly want to be in right now. The Car pulled into the driveway and was put into park. I was the last person out the car as i slowly walked up to the house surrounded by Police. They let me and the two policemen with me enter i made sure not to look in the living room as we walked by. I made haste to get up the stairs so i could leave the house as fast as possible. I grabbed as many clothes as i could and then proceeded to stuff whatever else i could fit into the suitcase.

"You got everything you need, son" Asked the Older Officer. I nodded and proceeded to get into the back of the police cruiser. It had been decided i would stay at the orphanage until somebody decided to adopt me or either i became of age. Seeing as they couldn't find any other family. I plugged my earbuds in and bobbed my head to Whatever Hip-Hop had in store today. This month just really has made me realize how much a single person has to go through alone. I geuss i wish i made more of an effort to get them to notice me. They are all my parents after all. I continued to get lost in the ocean of music that had quickly tuned to my liking.

~At the orphanage~

"So is this the child you wanted me to get prepared for", Ask the lady. I assume she must be like the head of staff here or something. I never actually have been to an orphanage before. Before i could continue my inner conversation the officer started speaking and i decided to pay attention.

"Yes mam This right here is Chris i hope he don't give you to much trouble.", The officer told the lady.

"Well hello Chris my names Karolina", She told me. After shaking her head the police quickly had a discussion with her in private. I clearly know what it was but i guess they had to say something.

~Few weeks later~

"Pinkie i don't think this is what they meant by adoption" I told the pink skinned girl in front of me.

"I don't know what you mean silly i im only taking you to stay at my place sooo it technically is", No arguing with that log- WAIT DID PINKIE JUST MAKE SENSE.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real pinkie, the pinkie i know never uses logic", I say. Me and pinkie have come very close In the past few weeks. i studied her as she burst into a fit of giggles. This was very weird pinkie just made a logical explanation at this point somebody might as well make this into a fan fiction. Somewhere somebody sneezed.

"You know im not always saying things that make no sense i have a semi smart side", She tells me. Wait why did she semi.

"How do you do it", I silently said to myself.

"A magician never reveals her secrets to enemy Spies"

"Pinkie what did i say about puns",I ask her.

"I know what you said but ill still use them anyways you cant stop me", Pinkie says as she began laughing like a cringy cartoon villain.

"What are you a Two dollar blockbuster Villain that just came out of a cheap Camera Shoot", I ask her. Seriously like who randomly laughs like that. I mean sure maybe i might have done the same thing...Who am i kidding nobody can be like pinkie.

"Indeed your right nobody can be as cool as me" Pinkie says

"How the hell did you', I ask her?

"I never shall reveal my secrets to you Spie"

"DANM IT PINKIE WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE PUNS"?

"PUNS ARE FUN UNLIKE YOU MOOD KILLER"!

"HOW THE HELL DO I UP WITH YOU"!

"You just do...I guess", Pinkie says as she taps my nose.

" I guess i do huh ", I ask her?

"That's for you to find out and me to answer, now finish packing", Pinkie tells me. It was silent after that. I wonder what she meant by that. Could she possibly... Nah no way i'd never have a chance. I guess i should finish packing before i go into another inner monologue break I've had way to many of those lately. Meanwhile Pinkie had decided to make more puns. Sighing i got back to work and did my best to ignore her.

~Everybody hates Chris theme song plays~

Author's Note

Thanks for coming back... that's if you did haha i gotta good reviews last time and bad i guess you cant please everybody but i thank you all for even wasting your time for this i know the story has many errors but the plot may be good at times but i guess that's what makes it good finding out when it gets better and wondering what happens next... Stay safe everybody