Hello, and my Name is Sir Real.

by My Sister Tia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 1429

Discord calls himself Sir Real. The princesses don't approve.

Discord calls himself Sir Real. The princesses don't approve. So he is a statue now, and the dictionary just got updated. Twice.

Set before he turned to stone the first time.

Happy April Fools!:pinkiehappy: Oh, just don't mind me.

This was all thought of, written, edited, and published on April 1st. A big thank you to My Little Epona, my editor!

Published 2020-04-01 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-01 16:50:02 UTC

Prologue

Discord sighed. Nobody liked him all that much, for they knew that he was--not exactly like all of the regular ponies of Equestria. But he was, at that very moment, devising a plan.

"Hmm, maybe if I... Oh, I've just got it! Yes, that will work!"

He then snapped, and he instantly donned on a fancy tuxedo, if he still looked a bit like his old mismathched self. Then, he began to think of a new name to be called for the ponies to start to appreciate how different he was.

"Sir, yes that sounds good for a start. Sir. And oh, what did the princesses say about me, again?"

Going back into thinking, he started to remember a faint memory of when they met, when they were all younger, years and years ago.

"Tia, make him stop! Make him stop! He's taking all my toys!," Luna wailed.

She was saying this as of Course, Discord was taking all of her toys. He was trying to make a crazy town, and as a finishing touch, made a train and a boat both float up in it's sky.

"I'm just making a city! And your toys just happened to be the ones around, so I decided to make a town with your toys, Luna!," he jokingly replied, and then spat at her.

Then, Luna's older sister decided to join in. As in the annoying Princess Celestia herself.

"Discord, stop messing with Luna now, or I will turn you into a statue!" she said, while putting her hoof up in the air in an arc.

"Fine, fine. I'm stopping now."

He then gave the toys back, snickering, he created a miniature statue of himself to Tia.

"Discord, you really need to get more real about things."

That's when the memory ended. But the last part was the most important.

"Yes, Yes! It's just perfect! Now, I am no longer discord! I am now Sir Real! After all, she did say that I needed to get more real," he said, then started to cackle uncontrollably.

Author's Note

Yes, I wrote this whole story today. I also thought of it today. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and that you will enjoy the rest!

A big thank you to my editor, My Little Epona!

Wait, I'm still Discord. Ha ha!

Discord went over to Ponyville to start his kingdom--and not just out of toys this time! When he came there, first he decided to get back to looking like his old self.
He then decided to go back to being called Discord- 'cause why not? Then, he got some pigs from a random barn over 200 feet away. Then, he gave the pig wings. He wrote down in his journal that 'when pigs fly' should be a quote. He snapped his fingers, and a throne of red and metal grey, then sat on it.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! This is so very fun!"

Then, he got an excellent idea.
He got a deck of cards from a portal vortex, stacked them on top of each other, and made them all huge!

"Hello, good sir, how are you today?" This was an old mare that was crocheing--or knitting, whatever the word was, and had a colorful quilt that she was sowing--whatever.

"Quite well, thank you. Do you mind if I have that pattern to use? That would be real nice." He said this quite sarcastically.

"Why Sure-"

Discord had duplicated the quilt a whole bunch of times over, and made them all huge. As in, big enough to cover all of the land with it. Then, he sent the pony away into an alternate dimentsion vortex, so that they would just go away, and not do anything like to tell the princesses about this.
That would simply be a disaster.

"Now, off to creating more chaos."

And he started off, doing just that.

Author's Note

Coco Candy, and Venonm stinger, thank you. I used 'cause why not?' from Coco Candy. I told Venom Stinger there might be jokes. So thank you.

The jokes are not all in this chapter.

Turned to Stone

Luna and Celestia were right in front of him, in his new Ponyville.
Greatly displeased, they had six powerful gems with them. Luna and Tia were starting to think that he was starting to reform, but that was not the case.

“Hey, Tia, Luna. How are you two?”

“Not very well, Sir real. What happened to you?,” Princess Celestia boldly asked.

“Oh, you can just go back to calling me discord. Also, stop towering over me like an annoying teacher.
Speaking of, what’s the difference between a teacher, and a trainer?
One trains pets, and one has a teacher’s pet! Ha ha!”

“That’s not very funny, but I guess that you tried.” Luna said this, and had a slight frown.

“Whelp, time to go back to ruling the land! Bye!”

The princesses were onto him now. He had claimed to be reformed, but here they were, the elements on harmony being harnessed within their magic auroras. Then, they spun them around themselves created a sheild, and hit Discord with a powerful blast.

“NOOOO!,” he yelled, twisting his limbs in odd directions.

But then, he stopped. He had been turned to stone. Hard as a rock, he stayed lifelessly in his form.

Epilogue

After that, Discord was moved to a field of statues in the castle garden. The princesses turned the land back to how it was before, and most importantly, two more words were made.

The first word was Discord, meaning disagreement between ponies or other creatures.

The second, surreal (it was spelled differently, so that ponies wouldn’t really guess it’s origin) means having the qualities of surrealism, and bizzare.

And to this day, no one knows where that old mare is now.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading this! Happy April First! :pinkiehappy: Nevermind ignoring me, here I am! Have a good day!

Hello! I am now Sir Real.

"Hello, princesss. I am Sir Real, at your humble service," Discord, or now, Sir Real happily said to the princesses, more specifically to the older one, the stricter one, in his opinion.

"We know your feeble tricks, Discord. Don't even try to fool us." Surprisingly, this was the younger sister, Luna.

Sir Real was a tiny bit offended at this remark, and tried to make himself look as if he were crying as possible, and even got a clawkerchief (most ponies reffered to it as a hoofkerchief, but he of course had claws, not hooves) out of his pocket for a more dramatic effect.

"Come on Discord, it's time to stop it now. I sometimes still consider to this day to actually turn you to stone. That wasn't just play talk." It was the older one this time.

Sir Real was actually a bit surprised at this, stopped crying, and put the kerchief away.

"What!? But, why? I'm better now! Why, I've even changed my name to Sir Real, and everything! Why?," he frantically asked.

"You heard what I just said. Discord, are you trying to trick us?"

"Please, just call me Sir Real, not my old name, Discord. And no, I'm not trying to trick you guys again! See, I'm even wearing a fancy suit, and am now Sir Real to prove it!," he quickly replied.

"Okay Sir Real, but we need further proof. Though needs to start talking in a normal tone, and stop yelling. If you can do that, then perhaps we shall believe you," Luna kindly said to calm him down.

"Fine fine. I'm talking like normal now."

Then, Discord realized something, and actually listened to something that was a ligitiment fact for once, if from his own mind. He didn't really feel like himself in this moment. He really wanted to get something out of nowhere by the snap of his fingers, or make some flying pigs (he tucked that thought away as a good idea), or do something crazy. So he just instantly left the idea of being Sir Real, but first had to finish his good impression to be sneaky.

"Good day, fair princesses. Now I must go."

Just after he left, the princesses just stared, gawking at the place that he had just been, for this was nothing like the Discord-no, Sir Real that they knew at all. But then they both started giving small smiles to each other, for they thought that he was maybe starting to reform now.